Mexico Love Baby

Come on Lightbulb – Pics of the Week from Isla Mujeres y Manhattan

Merry/Happy Christmas, Happy Hanukah/Chanukah or Happy Holidays to you and to  my readers(all 14 of you!) If I have learned anything by living up here is that you always appreciate understanding someone’s heritage and or traditions. It is no lie that I grab my fair share of cabs but trust me when I say that I love asking the back of the head who is driving my cab; “So Boss Man….Tell me about your country.” If you come to NYC I implore you to please do this. Seriously please do it and you will find all kinds of country/family pride.

So I am going to get to the pics because I have had a helluva week and you guys (all 14 of you) hate my diatribe.

 IMG_2300Had a small fire on E70th a couple weeks ago.

IMG_2302Hey Guys is the Asian Fireman or @AB670 on board….yeah I know the answer.

IMG_2347RJ & Mal-O-Rie – So if we get this joint can you please promise not to procreate in the pool? #askingforafriend

IMG_2357I was warm here. I didn’t have to wear a bunch of cold weather gear.

IMG_2389Hey Staten Island S – Can you get us a bottle of this?

IMG_2394Tastes like Sambuca but its pretty good!

IMG_2411Maya is pissed and let me tell you how upset I was considering I was wearing shorts 2 says ago!

IMG_2412Maddy was not happy either!

IMG_24016 days in Mexico and I was offended that my beard was coming in grey. Pay no attention to the hairs on my head mind you! Hashbrown – at least I have hair!

IMG_2434Don’t blame me Maya….Blame the other one who put you in this outfit!

IMG_2440It screamed that I should come in and have a drink but it was 9AM and I had service issues. I will see you next week Village Tavern!

Seasoned Greetings to all my readers. All 14 of you!


Oh is this your first time to Isla Mujeres *I have heard it both ways

So after the wedding we decided to stay one more day in Mexico and spread the wealth so we headed over to Isla Mujeres for a night. We hitched a ride with Z(squared) to the airport and then headed to ferry port. While we were on the Ultra Mar ferry there was a gentlemen behind us who was talking up 2 Canadian Tourists who were making a day trip to Isla.

Gentlemen – “Oh is this your first time to Isla?”
Tourist – “Yes, we heard that we should visit the island while we are here in Mexico.”
Gentlemen – “Well the thing about Isla is that your first trip will be for a couple hours, then your next trip will be for a couple days, next thing you will be spending a week or month here. Or in my case, years.”
Tourist – “So what makes it so special.”
Gentlemen – “Hard to describe it to someone who has never been there but between the culture, the food and the locals you will probably love it.”

So here we were heading back to Isla and the gentlemen hit the nail on the head. Way back RJ/Mal-o-rie, Mrs. Trumpet and I took a day trip to Isla. Then we stayed for 3 nights before meeting up with English Mike and then last year we spent a week on Isla. Of course the  last trip someone came back with a big souvenir but we definatly had the Isla Bug.

We hung out at North Beach after checking into our hotel in town and had dinner at our favorite restaurant on the island. Naturally drinks at Bobo’s were in order and we checked out the local drinking establishments.

IMG_2342Love the streets in Isla, small quant and cobblestoned

IMG_2343Our hotel for the night. Clean room, fridge and microwave in the room and even had an outside patio.

IMG_2345Swung by Bobo’s to check on if Olivia’s was open for Dinner that night.

IMG_2346Trust me when I say that Mrs Trumpet was excited that this joint was open on a Monday night.

IMG_2349Hey Tilapia Lover & husband and others. So the beach erosion has took a bunch out of the beach here at Phoenix. What was 3 rows of these beach beds before you walked into the water is gone. Currently there is only 1 row and it is tight to say the least.

IMG_2351We ended up heading over to the point and made camp at one of the other beach clubs. Weather was spotty and the wind was a blowing but we had a good time.

IMG_2354Tons of Kite Surfers out there this day.

IMG_2356We kept on waiting on dude to wipe out on the broken dock but he did pretty good.

IMG_2363Our Favorite Soft Shelled Crab Joint was closed on Mondays. Bummer.

IMG_2368To kill time while having some drinks we played dominos.

IMG_2374Still slays me seeing Santa stuff down in the tropics.

IMG_2370A puffy coat? Come on Man! It isn’t that cold!

A good time was had by the Trumpets even if it was only for 24 hours.




Pictures of the Week – Mexican Style

I really need to make plans to go somewhere warm again very soon! This being cold is for the birds! Birds I tell you!

IMG_2317Shout out to my Minion Jason for this nugget of knowledge. “Always take a picture of your room number when checking in.” You have no idea how many times one would forget what room they were in.

IMG_2324Wonder why I was so thirsty on the Morning of Day 2. I need all the Water Por Favor!

IMG_2329My Mother has a philosophy that she never trusts a culture that doesn’t put cheese on their food. It makes perfectly good sense to me if you think about it!

IMG_2330Boy nothing make me harder than diamond in an ice storm than a flat top of grilled vegetables.

IMG_2332“I think there is way too much cheese on that!” – said no man ever!

IMG_2333Deep Down Ford is jealous that I am wearing my red shorts and that he and K don’t have kids because if they did then they would get some Maracas at Christmas from the Trumpets! #robocares

IMG_2334I am now a fan of the Hemingway Daiquiri. I had one a day. Stop Laughing. Seriously stop it!

Have a good weekend folks, it is supposed to be cold and snowy this weekend in Gotham!





The Trumpets Take on Mexico!

Aww, some of you guys actually missed me….ok so maybe not some but I know that reader number 4 sent me a message asking when I was going to get back on the keyboard. So we took off last Thursday for The Riviera Maya for 4 nights and one night on Isla Mujeres. The trip was for fun but also to see if one of my fellow tour bus ticket sales reps would ‘outkick his coverage’ and get married.

We stayed at the Iberostar Paraiso Maya resort which is one of 3 on the property. The weather was perfect by New York standards. Sure there was an overcast day with moderate winds and temps in the low 70’s but for the locals it was Ball Shrinking Cold. Shout out to my buddies in Belize who were 200 miles south of us who were bitching about the fringed temps. Suck it up Buttercup! Yesterday it was a low of 9 degrees and only got to 20 as the high but the winds were a bitch. Talk about a weather culture shock!

Anyway enough about me, congrats to JR(squared) on getting married. We wish you much happiness and enjoyed meeting both of your parents.

IMG_2316We got our seats at check in. They informed us that we had the comfort seats but we would be sitting behind each other. 20+ years of flying with Mrs. Trumpet and I finally get a Window Seat. Normally I am either in middle or we take 2 aisle seats.

IMG_2321Proof that our old asses made it to the disco at least one night while at the resort. Thanks to Romper Dude because I thought that this silly fad was just that. A fad.

IMG_2326I should have brought chalk to mark the walls. I never figured that place out. Granted I was sauced the majority of the time but still why can’t Iberostar have better signage?

IMG_2328There is nothing better than reading this email while you are waist deep in a pool smoking a cigar and drinking a Miami Vice boat drink!

IMG_2331Kuddos to the Iberostar for adapting this policy. No Popote Por Favor!

IMG_2337Tell me that those readers who were down there didn’t think it was odd with all the Mayan Porn in the bar?

IMG_2336Back when we went to the Barceló with ‘Lady Killer’ 3 Spring Breaks ago he would put Nutella on his waffles. He also would put all kinds of other shit on them but I tried it one day for breakfast. It wasn’t halfway bad.

IMG_2339JR(squared) made it official! I was disappointed that they did the “You are buying a goat” part in Spanish without the use of the microphone. They did the American Version first and then did the Spanish part very quickly following that.

I probably will do 2 more posts with the material I got downloaded on my phone. Some Good and a whole lot bad! FZ(squared) be afraid!


CBT Takes on Tulum Mexico!

“You want to get out of town for a couple of days in June?” asked Mrs. Trumpet back in February.
“You going to keep asking me stupid questions? Woman, haven’t I told you that the answer is always that CBT wants another beer and yes he wants to go on a vacation.” this was my my reply before she smacked the crap out of me.

So who is keeping track that in 60 days that we have been south of the border twice, I told you about those horrible New York winters right? #extremesarcam  This trip was to Mexico and to an area that we have never been, Tulum in the Rivera Maya region. We were going to be spending some time with Mrs. CBT’s family that I have not really got to meet and attend a workshop for a couple of hours in the morning. We shagged ass on Thursday morning after leaving the Monkey Heads with plenty of food and water. I am kidding, don’t be calling the ACPCA on our asses, we have “a girl” who tends to the Monkey Heads and she is highly recommendable.

We flew out of Newark International and let me tell you folks, CBT is starting to become spoiled with these direct flights. 3hours and 30 minutes later our lily white asses were in Cancun Airport and on a Chicken Bus heading to Tulum. The resort we stayed at was the Kore Tulum and it is a smaller resort that is adult only. I am liking the smaller boutique resorts, sure there are cons to a smaller joint but there is something to be said for not having to fight with a tourist from Italy over a freaking sun lounger at 6AM. The food was good, the drink was plentiful, well until they ran out of beer. Let me type that again if you are still reading this worthless dribble; THEY FUCKING RAN OUT OF BEER! But it was on the last night and they still had Vodka and White Wine.

Overall it was a great trip, we met some new friends who live on the Left Coast, the workshop got our minds right for this year and we got some much needed sun on these bones.

IMG_1342The resort from the sea wall. Sadly this joint doesn’t have a proper beach but a 5 dollar cab ride and that was resolved. 200 Guests max is what were told.

IMG_1343Tastes Just Like Chicken I hear!

IMG_1346The View Did Not Suck!

IMG_1348Tulum’s Version of Home Depot in Town

IMG_1349This is the Mexican version of our friend’s Maria favorite bike food delivery service here in New York “The Chirping Chicken”

IMG_1352Paradise Beach – Remember those Corona Commercials? This is where they say it was filmed and photographed.

IMG_1353Another View of the Beach – Very quiet on a Sunday. Oh wait there was a general election that day.

IMG_1355Nice Joint, if we make it down that far again, we will come back.

IMG_1358Here is Christian serving us the Last Beer out of what else….a quart!

IMG_1359The Australian’s got nervous when they heard the resort was out of beer. This is when the panic ensued.

IMG_1363This did not end well folks.

IMG_1365Last picture on my iFoam that night for some reason.

You want to really hate me? Only 72 more days till we go back down to Mexico!





Poor Planning – Elections in Mexico

What Jackass goes to a foreign country during a general election and has a rule where the sale of alcohol is prohibited while the polls are open? Um that would be me! Thankfully we were able to get my “one” beer per day at the resort and at the beach where they film the Corona ads.

Stop Laughing Cindy & Renita that shit ain’t funny.

IMG_1340I am not saying that my Spanish is rusty but I ‘thought’ that I ordered 6 bottles of beer from room service for our fridge in the room. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door and saw Ramone the Room Service guy holding a tray of this.

IMG_1351Wonder what that sign means in English? It means that Carbunkle Trumpet is a dumb ass for vacationing in Tulum on the 4th and 5th of June.

I will have a proper post later this week, I am kinda in the weeds and am in Email hell.


“The World is Yours”

Sorry for the Scarface reference there folks, you see when I get home I like to watch a movie that makes me unwind. The number of F-Bombs said in the movie, 207 or 1 every 1.21 minute, relaxes me after hearing numerous times walking past the convent on my way home. When we moved up here to Gotham we said that we wanted to take more trips. With our new locale we can take advantage of having 3 airports to grab those cheaper flights rather than the ass rape you get at Memphis International. Also that with more direct flights it helps save some of my precious vacation time that I am allotted by the Tour bus company. This year we currently have on the books; Belize, Tulum, and Isla Mujeres (or is it Muerte) and there is a rumbling of another trip over New Years but that doesn’t look good right now.

The trip to Belize that we are taking next week has us flying chicken bus coach on the Columbian Airline, Avianca, and we are flying direct into El Salvador. The fare was cheap as crap but the drawback is that on the return we layover in El Salvador for 6 hours and get into JFK at 2:30AM on Saturday morning. Mrs. Trumpet will have to carry some small balloons but enough on how CBT was able to get himself bumped into first class. I am not going to rub it in (ok I lied, I am rubbing it in) but the cost of this trip is half what we would pay if we were still living in Memphis. We haven’t booked the Tulum or Isla trip just yet but we can fly direct so how effing nice is that?

Next week is Holy Week and Passover and there is a mass exodus of Manhattanites to various points of call across the globe. Some of our friends are going to Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, Maywood – the beach within reach, Fiji, Aruba, Bequia (I had to look it up too) and I think Vegas.  Other than Fiji and Bequia, I think that everything else can be reached via a direct flight. Again, not to bust on Memphis but I think that in Memphis you can fly direct to Atlanta, Destin or Orlando.

My friend Travel Queen, who lives in H-Town, travels all over the world and is someone who Mrs. CBT and I are trying to emulate with cool trips. Every time I look up she is in some foreign country and living the dream. I think she has been to Belize 55 times and has yet to declare residency down there. Granted the flight from H-Town to Belize is shorter than the flight from Memphis to LGA but Damnit woman! TQ probably has been to Belize more than I have and I started going back when I was young. I do kid, we love us some TQ and know that she is getting all this travel out of her system because when Bug-a-boo starts to date and then  she will be busy sewing low jacks into J’s outfits.

So, where would you go if you could? We have 110 different airlines to choose from.

transconwars.pngThat is a lane map from JFK. RJ – You better make sure we get down there FAST!

World-airline-routemap-2009Kinda puts all of this into prospective ya know?

Avianca%20(Colombia)%20787-8%20N780AV%20(13)(Ldg)%20PAE%20(SBY)(46)-MI am betting that the first language they speak on the onboard announcements will be in Spanish.




Pictures from the Week

Note, we are heading back to 38103 next weekend so you better be good or you will end up on the Naughty list of the Pic of the Week.

Have a good weekend!


Black Friday Shopping in Spanish Harlem

Over the Thanksgiving holiday Mrs. Trumpet was going to have a Tamale festival (2 to 3 days of making Tamales from scratch) and she put me in charge of getting the Masa (Tamale Glue for you gringo’s) and Corn Husks. “Sure I said, I will just head to………oh shit, I am not in Memphis anymore.” I conferred with my NYC Consigliore and she told me that she gets the husks from Amazon and the Masa can be acquired at any bodega in Spanish Harlem. Well it was Wednesday night, the night before Thanksgiving so I was screwed. I would have to venture up to E110th street.

On Black Friday while American’s were making jackasses out of themselves, I headed uptown to 103rd street at Lexington as I found a Spanish Market that carried the previously mentioned items. They were closed for the Holiday – FECK. As I stand on the street looking a tad out of place (white face in Spanish Harlem) I see a bodega that was written in Mexican. I venture in and ask the store clerk if they carry Masa and Corn husks, she “Yo no hablo imbécil Inglés.” Same goes for the other stock person, the lady buying a 2X4 of Modello Light and the cashier. I am about to walk out when a 6 year old girl comes from the back of the store and asks me in perfect English what I am looking for. Seriously I feel like Indiana Jones talking to Short Round as the little girl yells at her older sister that I needed Masa and corn husks. She wondered if I was running a Tamale sweatshop since I needed 5 pounds of Masa and 3 bags of Corn Husks. I told her that my wife was mean and she laughed. I paid, checked to see if my change was in US dollars and not Mexcian Pesos and headed home.

I get home and naturally I didn’t get the normal brand of Masa but as I informed Mrs. Trumpet “I had to take a donkey across the border to find this stuff, deal with it!” I venture down the street for a celebratory Cigar with my Persian Jewish Buddies and to watch some football.


Locked Up Tighter Than Dick’ Hatband


Hey Look, I can see the Mayan Ruins from here!


God Bless the Daughter of the Owner who helped me out. I figured that they were jacking with me but wait till I bring my favorite Illegal Alien from Chicago up here! There will be hell to pay!


They are serious up here in Spanish Harlem, they buried someone in a shallow grave in the subway!

*Editors Note- I am poking fun as the experience was pleasurable, granted we did have a language problem but that is just proof that I need to work on my conversational Spanish. LS come on up and I can take you to my favorite Puerto Rican pork store for lunch.


Carbunkle Trumpet did a Bucket List Item and lived to tell about it!

Ok, I am going to just lay it out there on the line for all to read, I am a spoiled little shit when it comes to the ocean and seeing some of it’s magnificent creatures under the surface. Yeah I went there, I admit it, I am not proud but at least I got that off my chest.  Thanks to my parents, my sister and I have been afforded the chance to see some unbelievable beaches and locations that many will never ever get a chance to see in their lifetime. I got the chance to see the pink sand beaches of Bermuda when I was ten years old, visited Belize more times than a lot of flight attendants do and still got to do and see some really cool shit in between. Down in Belize, where I got a lot of my underwater fish 101 knowledge, it wasn’t uncommon for me to swim with nurse sharks, sting rays, many species of fish, and see some coral formations that you only see on the Travel Channel. When I was younger our old time fishing guide would sneak frozen peas and sardine guts into our swim suit pockets so when we would hit the water all kinds of fish would swarm us like flies on roadkill. It was this luxury that I was afforded that I became sort of disenfranchised with snorkeling. Now granted I would always play along when we would have friends who had never snorkeled in Belize as I didn’t want to be “that guy”. It is funny as when we visit Belize with people who have never done that they would come out the water in amazement that they just saw all those different species of fish yet in my mind I was thinking “Yeah I have done that and have way too many t-shirts in my closet too.”   
Well all of that is about to come to a screeching halt as I can honestly say with no reservation that I just did the most unbelievable thing in the world and sadly I don’t think that my words can express upon you how FREAKING cool it was! Last year at this same time I was over in Cozumel celebrating the destination wedding of some good friends of ours. A buddy of mine who I have mentioned before in this blog had just swum with the Whale Sharks of the coast of Isla Mujeres. I recall reading Scoop’s post and thought to myself that here is a girl who lives in paradise and sees the same stuff I have and she is impressed? I may have to check this out one day. Now that I have done this and I re-read her post,  I now get it; I just swam with one of the largest species of fish in the ocean that dates back to 1828. I read where another friend of mine had also just recently swam with these magnificent bastards and in the back of my mind I am thinking “Why hasn’t anyone else done this?” I have over a 1000 friends on Facebook and there are only a handful of them who have done this? Anyway I will get off my soap box now (and go to below normal height) but if you have the chance, BY ALL MEANS GO SWIM WITH THE WHALE SHARKS! It is a moment in your life where you realize that you are just a simple creature living in a vast world and I get it why this is on so many people’s bucket lists.
According to Mr. Wikipedia the Whale shark is the largest non mammal vertebrate rivaling the dinosaurs in terms of sheer weight. They can live as long as 70 years and can get as long as 40 feet in length and weigh over 30 tons (that’s 66,000 pounds) and yet they are vegetarians and only feed on plankton. *Yes I swam with a bunch of Vegetarians and if they knew my real feelings for them before we were introduced I may not be typing this and Mrs. Trumpet may be wearing a black dress today* The whale sharks migrate  to off the coast of Mexico from May to September each year and the peak time to see them is mid August. This particular day there were close to 100 Whale Sharks according to “Whale Shark Daddy” and thanks to the Mayan Gods we had beautiful weather on that particular Monday.
We had pre-arranged with Whale Shark Daddy for a tour on Monday and were picked up at our hotel at the bright early time of 7:45AM. After a brief breakfast we had our ‘briefing’ and were split up into groups of 10 and were directed to a boat. For those of you who are scuba divers, you can leave all that crap in the room as Whale Sharks are top water feeders and the majority of them will swim on the surface to feed so you only have to be a good swimmer. You can either elect to wear a life vest or rent a short suit wet suit which I did on Scoop’s advice as you have more mobility in the water. One thing that I did like and have to give Whale Shark Daddy mad props to was that he only would let you go into the water wearing Bio-Degradable sunscreen. As he said in the ‘briefing’ (in broken English) there are over 600 swimmers seeing the whale sharks each day and 600 people wearing that film creating sunscreen will kill off the plankton and will eventually kill the Whale Sharks. Kuddos to him and to the other companies who make sure that Gringo’s like us don’t make this species extinct!
After a 45 minute boat ride you come up to an area in the deep blue waters where there are like 60 to 70 boats full of other gringos who also are going to see the whale sharks. Now in the back of my mind I am thinking that “oh yeah this is going to be fun” until I see one of these big bastards firsthand. Again, you are reading a blog from someone who has pulled up some pretty big fish in his day and it doesn’t compare to these suckers. Everyone is paired into groups of two and you get to swim 3 sets with a guide and a photographer. As we are waiting for our turn we notice like 5 or 6 of these huge suckers swimming around the boat. It wasn’t until one swam under the boat and I figured it was 40 feet long since I saw head and a lot of tail as he swam parallel to the 34 foot boat. I ask the Captain how big they get and he gave me the Kilos which meant nothing to an Merican as we weigh everything in pounds but it was pretty big. Anyway it was time for CBT and Mrs. CBT to get wet and off the boat we went.
For those of you who are kinda nervous swimming with school busses the guides do a great job holding your hand and positioning you right up next to a whale shark where you are only feet away from this huge fish. At first I was thinking that I could keep up with this sucker as he wasn’t really putting a lot of turbulence out there with his tail but I was wrong. These suckers fly through the water as what I assume is the intake of the water and pushing out of the gills as the gills on these things are 5 feet long along the sides of them. After about 10 to 15 minutes you get tapped out and head back to the boat for the next group to swim. Now granted I am not in the greatest shape of my life but let me tell you, it is exhausting work keeping up with these jokers. We get to the second set and Mrs. Trumpet didn’t want to swim with them so I was paired up with another couple and here is where it gets kinda funny.
Back in the ‘briefing’ ole Whale Shark Daddy said that if you encounter a whale shark head on, don’t worry, they will go around you and don’t panic. Let me tell you, ole Whale Shark Daddy LIED because yours truly came face to face with one of those suckers. Thankfully I rented my wet suit because after coming within 5 feet head on I may or may not have had a brief pee in my wet suit. Seriously, it took everything I had to get out of the way of this sucker! Sadly the photographer, Matteo, didn’t get a still shot of my face to face encounter but it is on video. Still it is one of the best and coolest moments of my life.
After everyone is done you head to a beach area where everyone enjoys fresh shrimp ceviche and homemade guacamole and plug down a couple baby Corona’s. Seriously, if you have the chance to do this, you need to swim with the Whale Sharks, it is worth every penny!  Now if you will excuse me I will go back to my being stuck up on seeing marine life and cool coral formations.

Here our Swimming Guide (can’t recall his name) informs us that nobody has browned out a pair of swim trunks swimming with the Whale Sharks

We have no idea what we are in for

The surrounding boats as we arrive to the area
You can see me hanging on the ladder for dear life as I ask Mrs. Trumpet if she has us up to date on our Life Insurance policies.

No that isn’t the Crosstown Bus, that is a Whale Shark

Great Shot of Mrs. Trumpet along the Express 44 into Midtown
I burned every ounce of energy in my legs to keep up with them and they were still way too fast

Just like Putty from Seinfeld – High Five Dude!

We lived to tell about it!
That is some serious lunch that was made 10 minutes prior!
Yeah, it was that cool!