Murphranks

It’s Not Good Bye, It’s Till Next Time

Moving Day! Man I would rather take one to the Cods with a Louisville Slugger than do this. But we have already given the new place on 37th St some money and the movers are inbound in 2 about hours Let’s Do It!

So in 5 years we have moved 3 times. Crap there are people I know who haven’t moved 3 times in 50 years. If there is a good thing about moving intra New York is that a tiny part of it breaks off and becomes a part of you. My former DSM of mine was amazed how many New Yorkers I knew in the short time we lived here. I mean its no secret that we are friendly people, and friendly people gravitate to the same.

What sucks that with us moving back to Manhattan is that we won’t see some friends that we have met since living here on Schermerhorn and Nevins. Let me explain.

You have all heard of the normal cast of characters, Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, Lady Barrister, ect but when we lived in the UES we met a wonderful soul named BikinisareForever. She was the purveyor of spirits for us and we became friends. When we moved to Brooklyn we would make it a point to go see her from time to time. At Christmas she went to a new bar and we were making plans to go see her again then March 13th happened. During this Pandemic we really have kind of bonded with Bikinis. She is now Reader #22 of this worthless dribble and since we are now both on the west side we are planning a social distancing trip to the park.

So Meet Stephanie. She is the owner of Wright & Goebel Wine and Spirits and a great person. She always loves it when I bring in Maya to get abused and skidded across the concrete floor to her. As expected she is top notch at making wine selections because we all know Geranium isn’t a fan of butter chardonnays. She has an evolving selection so she teaches me something each time I come in. Actually a lot of the time it was “I am cooking this and she would say.” “You drink this.”

Stephanie was always asking when Geranium was going to be in town, you could tell she cared about the both of us. She also was always leaning her head out the door saying hello when we walked by. Lately during all of this we have really connected and when things clear up, we are having a drink together.

Believe it or not she is smiling and Maya enjoys her time while daddy would peruse the wine shelves

So (and I just realized there is a vicious pattern forming) now meet Brendan who owns The Commissioner. We first met him with the Murphranks as they found this bar and loved it and we were still living in the UES. What was remarkable is that Brendan can remember people’s names from the first go round. Sure enough when we came in to look at apartments we got Lady Lawyer to meet us here and damned if he didn’t remember our names.

Took my mother when she was in town 2 years ago for some dinner and sure enough he remembered my name and was as hospitable as ever. For those of you wondering The Commissioner is modeled after Whisky Tavern in Chinatown (Think Bardog but without the smoke) and its a great place.

But what makes The Commissioner a place where you want to visit is that Brendan and the staff make you feel like family. From little kids in the neighborhood to the NFL diehard fans we all got along. People make the establishment and Brendan gets that and that’s why we are going to miss our regular Sunday visits. But we will be back.

Maya isn’t so much allowed in The Commissioner in BC Times but she made the trip last week.

Thankfully both Stephanie and Brendan’s businesses are still going in this crazy times but I make it a point to frequent them because well, they are both are good damn people.

Wright & Goebel got “Shaken but not Stirred” about 10 days ago as some assholes broke her window but everyone was safe. Stephanie Doubled Down and said, if we have to have plywood, lets make it pretty!
God I am going to miss walking by here.
Just so you know the planters are left out each night and when the peaceful protests go by they don’t even so much lay a hand on the flowers.

Yep, like I said Stephanie and Brendan, it’ not good bye. It’s Till Next Time. Thank you both for making Brooklyn a better place and for being good friends to Geranium and I. Ok and Maya too!

Lets Take One of The Worst Things Imaginable – Moving! But Let’s Do That Shit in NYC During A Pandemic

Yeah, talk about some crazy stuff but hey, we have already paddled out on the surfboard some 4 3/4 years ago when we moved here. Why not keep the dream alive.

Back Story – When we got the offer and made the decision to move up here almost 5 years ago we sought council from The Murphranks. They both told us that we needed to prioritize the following items;

  • Be as Close to Public Transportation (Subway, Bus, Regional Lite Rail)
  • Avoid at all costs any type of a Pre-War Walk Up
  • I am sure there are more but I those two have burned some good Brain Cells in the short time we have been living here.

First Apartment on First Avenue was a dream now looking back. It was part of the Hospital so we didn’t have to hunt for a place to live and it was another stress item we didn’t have to worry about. It was perfect except for the fact that I had to walk about 15 minutes to and from each day to get the 6 Train at 68/Lexington. I did this for about 17 months and let me tell you it sucked. That all changed when the Q Train opened up on January 1, 2017. Ironically we ran into ole Andrew that morning but I digress.

First Apartment had the following things that we were growing accustomed to and it because a priority;

  • Doorman Building – Not so much to open your door but to know that if the front door didn’t shut behind another resident meant it was a safety/security issue.
  • Package Room – This is a HUGE problem when people BC (Before Covid-19) would have to have signatures on deliveries. People in the Package Room would sign for our shit
  • Elevator Banks that would accommodate the number of residents.
  • Closeness to a Grocery Store – Right Across the Street
  • Closeness to bars – This isn’t so much of a good thing.
  • Laundry in Building – Who wants to schlep stuff

So when Geranium and I decided to move from the UES place we looked at a couple of places or more areas. We decided on Downtown Brooklyn for a couple of reasons as once again our priorities were changing. She was going to be on the road more so I needed more amenities to keep my sanity. I mean we looked at Fidi (No Grocery Store), Battery Park City (bitch of a walk to one subway line) and Murray Hill (I wasn’t a fan for some reason)

What our new priorities were included;

  • Ability to have someone swing by and get keys from the front desk to walk the Monkey Heads and leave keys for our cousin.
  • Subway Options – I had over 16 different lines I could choose from to get into the city.
  • Needed an Outdoor space or place for me to go work in the building.
  • Exercise and Possible instructed classes that we could join.
  • Washer/Dryer in Unit – Well that is now a bonus
  • Roof Terrace and Grilling Pavilions
  • Closeness to Murphranks (yeah we kind of like drinking with you)
  • Ease of getting to all 3 airports for Geranium. She can actually get to EWR, JFK, LGA in about an hour from our location.
  • Bomb Dot Com View of Manhattan – Full disclosure – I signed the lease on this joint before Geranium did because it had a killer view of the Empire State and Manhattan.
  • Then COVID-19 Hit in early March.

So our lease is up in July and the leasing company wanted to know if we wanted to sign a 1 year or 2 year lease. Of course with a nice little additional percentage on the lease. I am not one to shit on people but they wouldn’t let us go month to month so we are off like a Prom Dress. Just so we are clear – the Front Desk and Maintenance Staff – we love each and everyone of you. But the management/ownership company not so much.

So what are our new Priorities and what priority is now been relegated to the bottom of the list you ask? God Bless Geranium because she found us a place on West 39th Between 9/10 Avenues I think in 2 days. The location is considered Midtown West/Hudson Yards as it is nestled north of Chelsea, South of Hells Kitchen and West of The Garment District.

So here are our New COVID-19 priorities now and what doesn’t really matter so much now;

  • Outdoor space – No, it is not so that I can smoke cigars, I don’t think they are allowed on balconies anyway. We need to air out and get sun.
  • Smaller Building/Less Floors/Footprint – They only allow 2 people in our elevator now. We have 3 elevators dedicated to floors 30 – 55 and you do the math. Oh and there are times when the door opens I can see the fear in people’s eyes when I want to enter with Maya. Current wait time is about 10 minutes during peak times. And on the day I am writing this elevator #3 is down….again.
  • Neighborhood Residential Density Footprint – Where we are in Downtown Brooklyn we have tiny sidewalks. We also have tons of residential high rises and the Brownstones from Boerum Hill. Sadly we have to give up the sidewalks to the kids. Where we are going according to Mr. 3 First Names is very quiet.
  • Washer/Dryer in Suite – Absolutely now!
  • Grocery Store/Pharmacy Nearby – We live above the same grocery store I visit once a week 4 blocks away. Haven’t figured out where the CVS is but I am happy about the closness of my grocery store. Having it across the street in the UES was paramount.

Not a Priority at this Time (For obvious reasons)

  • Closeness to the Subways – That’s a big ole nope. The friggin NYSE told their members that they would not be allowed to take public transportation if they were going to be on the floor until a vaccine is created. The New York Stock Exchange folks…..
  • Amenities/Common Space – Yeah why am I going to pay 3% more at our current place to not use it?
  • Nearby Bars/Restaurants – We ain’t going anywhere for a while folks. And any New Yorker is stupid to think we are going back to what it was before. At least till we get some type of handle on this virus.
  • Commute to the office – I am actually now the only rep for the Double Decker Bus Company who lives closest to our office at 37 and 7th Avenue. I ain’t going there….
  • Close to stuff – We are not too far from Penn Station and Madison Square Garden now. Like we will there anytime soon.

I know I rambled but actually I have some folks who are also in the same boat as us and I wanted to verbalize how priorities have shifted for us. We are very excited for this new place. So is Maya, she is so over having to pee at 16 Sycamore Park. Also her boyfriend George is gone because our current building did her mom dirty too..

Back to the isle of Manhattan!

Layout of the new place. Trust me when I say that we have already figured out how to maximize space
Rule Number One – Never buy for the new place but I got my eye on you there Boo!
Never in a million years….
Already head of the game getting boxes.
Now in the top 5 important items.
When we saw him at the Second Avenue Subway opening.
I like the job that Andrew is doing in response to COVID-19 and being the father figure that we need.
I do love that his own brother called him out with that “Double Barrel Shotgun Mounted on the front of his face!” We need to laugh folks.

More to come, more to come.

How many of you can say that you had an Air Show Come To You?

Let me be very clear right now Folks – This is not an invitation for a Debate on the use of a recruiting tool flying over my city rather than spending the money on COVID-19 funds. I don’t have time for this. Pro or Con you will get deleted. This is about a salute to the front line healthcare employees who are saving lives. Furthermore it’s about people being stuck in 500 square foot apartment for 40+ days and the sheer joy we had for about 40 minutes yesterday and it was a welcome distraction. Sorry for the early on Come-a-part but I have seen a bunch of these debates going on social media. *steps off his anticipated soap box*

Back Story – I have been associated with two airshows when I was in Memphis. Long hours and your neck gets sore from starting up in the air. Two years ago we went to Jones Beach with the Murphranks and saw an airshow from the beach. God that was cool and the Blue Angels killed it. Sitting on the beach with a drink in your hand watching it is really the way to go. Last year we couldn’t go because someone had to recover from a boob job. I kid because I am glad she is around but seriously Karen….

So on Monday around 10:15AM I get a message from Professor about an airshow all over New York and New Jersey. I am thinking that from our vantage point in Downtown Brooklyn we could possibly see them twice.

I decided to go live on Instagram Stories and post this. I mean, I watch people’s stuff all the time and maybe I can give something back. I messaged my Work Wife (the International one) and asked if she would want to show her view from Hoboken New Jersey. We did a joint call and it was cool having two perspectives.

She was in and it was very helpful because I found out that it is pretty hard doing a live stream with nobody talking back to you. Shout out to those who got on and those who saw the feed. S/O to Atlanta, Memphis, Lyon France, San Pedro, Florida, New Jersey, New York and all others. The feed is still active until 12:40PM Eastern Standard Time today.

Here are some pics from Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister. They watched it from their rooftop. I told them that in 40+ days I was never so jealous of them and (Calm your tits, we ain’t doing it folks) wanted to come see them and watch together. But that is irresponsible and selfish because other people live in that building so we stayed home.

I could be a male version of Anne Burrell
Shout out to the Work Wife (the international one) for agreeing to do this with me.
Hard to Tell but she and I both have them in our screens but from two different states and across 2 rivers.

Photo Credit by Mr. 3 First Names who I bet was just like me – A Kid in the Candy Store during all of this!
Mr. 3 First Names (this is the outbound flight to Long Island)
Outbound to Long Island and to see Homeless Tim in CT.
Coming back from CT and about to finish. The Building with half glass/half brick with the birdcage on the right side (That is our building)
So Fucking Cool! They were spraying Lysol on all of us by the way!
BobCat and Professor got married here. This may be a duplicate.
Watched my own feed. I say Shit a lot but I am kinda happy with what I put down there.
Again it was a great day and watching this from the 38th floor helps with neck strain.

Shout out to all you COVID-19 front line healthcare responders. Thank you for what you do. We are going to get through this. We are doing our part. We are staying home.

Wednesday is the New Saturday Right?

Man O Man The Murphrank’s, Professor, Bobcat, Homeless Tim, The Asian Fireman and Wife are going to be jealous of this post.

Those previously named are in The Per Se Christmas Dinner invited list that we thankfully make the cut each year. Don’t let the fancy dinner confuse them as all high fancy folk. I mean with the exception of Homeless Tim all of them can crush Bud Light like it is their job. Actually if my memory serves me correctly we did go crush Bud Lights after this past years dinner.

I have mentioned a couple times that we have always been a fan of the Grocery service Fresh Direct. A couple clicks of mouse and BOOM someone is delivering my groceries and doing the heavy lifting. You don’t understand what a pain carrying heavy stuff around without a car is up here. Put it this way grab an 18 pack of beer and a normal grocery store haul and try to walk that shit 8 blocks in a boat tote bag. Yeah, you get the picture.

Prior to COVID-19 we could get a delivery slot for the next day pretty easy. Now days they are sold out for the entire week. This does present a problem but we know a couple life hacks to get around this.

  • Always have a couple things in your shopping cart to meet the minimum order.
  • Make this like your Christmas Wish List – All the Proteins, all the drinks and don’t be shy. You may get shut out because of inventory is so wonky these days.
  • Don’t get all pissy if you get a sub. They are trying as hard as they can and if you are one of those who bitch. Bless. Your. Heart.
  • Check everyday multiple times to see if there are some open time slots. You always take the first available slot you can get and then you keep adding to the order. Typically you can make changes to the order up until 5PM the day before.
  • You Network the Fuck out of this – Maria keeps an eye on it and so do a couple other friends.

So last Saturday Maria shot us a text that Wednesday was wide open and we needed to grab a slot. Geranium was on the laptop and she threw 3 items to make the minimum and would modify that later. She picked Cold Water Lobster Tail, Bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label and a Ribeye Steak. (who is she trying to fucking impress, its just her, me and dog)

Saturday after I got done with my chores I went in to amend the order and I couldn’t find the order. Geranium has been known to struggle with this but I am well versed in doing this on my iPad. I was able to create an order and also secure a slot on Wednesday (4.22.2020 with a window of 6AM to 8AM) so I wasn’t too worried.

On Tuesday morning we were still messing with the order and Geranium realized that the original order was still showing in there so she zeroed out those items. Honestly – We have kind of grown used to things and apps acting strange given everyone is home on their devices.

I think you know where this is going…..

So the order I placed got delivered at 7AM and the ‘guy’ was appreciative of the healthy tip I put on the bill. I mean dude was carrying 6 X 12 packs of drinks and a case of 6X1Gallon Distilled Water. He deserves much more for doing this given the environment.

Then at 11AM our doorbell rings and Geranium receives the second order. It just has 3 items but cost as much as my larger order. I just hope it wasn’t the same guy.

It is pretty easy and you can get pretty much all that you get at a Kroger or Aldi’s
They ain’t setting foot in your house and you can’t open the door until they leave.
Booze is delivered downstairs but with food being perishable they have to deliver to the door.
Seriously we have been shut out for like 3 weeks in a row. Carrying Soda Water is a bitch!
We got Cut on SpaghettiO’s with meatballs but I made this shit rock!
FYI – This was Geranium’s Go-To Meal during Chemo
Don’t hate the Player….
Hate the Game!

Dinner was fantastic and doesn’t everyone eat Surf and Turf with expensive ass champagne on a Wednesday? LJZ is going to be pissed at me for not sharing the bubbles or the lobster!

And Just A Reminder – There Are No Rules in a Pandemic! If I Could Have Gotten White Truffles I Would Have Done So!

If You Can Have Dinner With 2 People (Living/Dead) Who Are You Eating With?

I had a lot of people who were excited about reading last Friday’s post about where you were first going after this madness is over. So I asked the same folks who reported back a different question.

“You can have dinner at a restaurant or at home. You can invite 2 people to break bread with. Either of these people can be living or dead but the caveat is that one person has to be a New Yorker. So who are you dining with and where you going to eat?”

I will start – I am dining at Balthazar ordering the Seafood Tower to start with. For my New York Guest I am sitting with the late Anthony Bourdain because I have always wanted to pick his brain on the way things are now (prior to COVID-19) and thank him for hating on Vegetarians. The other person is the late Chef Paul Bocuse of Lyon France. Bourdain idolized him and I want to learn about how things were for him. You see I got my start in the restaurant business working at Chez Philippe in the Peabody and talk about a tough environment.

  • Shawneen from Middle Village – JOHN LENNON – a New Yorker by choice.  He fought tooth and nail to stay in New York; he said that at one point in history Paris was the place to be, but in the 1970’s, New York was the place to be and he wanted to be here. His political views were profoundly before his time and considered dangerous to the point that the FBI had a file on him.  Imagine all the people, sharing all the world? This might still be a dangerous idea today, sadly.  When I saw the movie “Yesterday”, I laughed and sang along and just enjoyed the what if – until the scene where the main character is sent to visit the seaside cottage of a seafaring man with round spectacles.  I cried my eyes out.  If The Beatles had not been famous, John Lennon would not have died.   I want a bottle of red, fried calamari, eggplant parmesan (cause that’s how we do it in the boroughs) and conversation with John Lennon all night long. For the second person And since this is my fantasy – my second guest would be DONALD TRUMP (but not for the whole night -just for an hour). Because I don’t think Trump could sit across from John effin Lennon and not still believe that all the people could be sharing all the world. PERSONALLY I THINK I SHOULD JUST STOP NOW BECAUSE SHE WON TODAY FUCKING BRILLIANT!
  • LJZ – Having dinner at Oceana with her husband and Dr. Fauci
  • Don Bruni – having dinner with Sammy Davis Jr and Jackie Gleason
  • AV The Russian – Her Father (New Yorker) and Jesus Christ and they are breaking bread at Corner Bistro.
  • AB The LSU Fan – Sitting at a table with his back against the wall at Umberto’s Clam House with John Gotti and Carlo Gambino.
  • AB The LSU Fan 2 – Old Homestead with Chris Mullin and Felipe Lopez!
Lot of people want to dine with John
  • Lady Barrister – Is going to PJ Clarke’s having dinner with George Carlin and Jerry Seinfeld because we need to laugh.
  • BikinisareForever – She wants to have dinner with her Grandparents
  • BikinisareForever 2 – Jerry Seinfeld and Amy Schumer
  • Flynn Shady – Going to Rao’s or Old Homestead and having dinner with Jimmy Fallon and Conan O’Brien.
  • Mr. 3 First Names – going to Keen’s steakhouse and having dinner with Admiral Raymond Spruance who commanded the US Naval Forces involved in the battle of Midway. Also is Washington Roebling who built the Brooklyn Bridge.
  • PC The Memphis Fan – John Lennon and George Harrison and they are goingto Thai Villa on 19th to geek out on the music and hear them talk shit about Paul.
Rao’s in the Harlem
  • PC the Memphis Fan 2 – Teddy Roosevelt and Zahi Hawass at Keen’s Steakhouse.
  • Vivian Longstreet – Going to Raoul’s and having dinner with Gov Andrew Cuomo and her NOLA buddy Lisa who is going to run his presidential campaign.
  • Ty Middelton – His late mother who was an amazing woman and always shot from the hip and Ron Howard to close a multi-million dollar film deal for his book series.
  • Stone – Also at Raou’s with Draper Kaufman (Father of Navy Special Warfare and Teddy Roosevelt. THAT IS SO INTERSTING PEOPLE ARE PICKING TEDDY ROOSEVELT
  • BjorkSue – is going to a Cheesecake Factory with Ivanka Trump and Jessica Simpson.
  • Bar Wife – Bill Murray and Chevy Chase and they are going to a bar.
I bet he would be fun to talk to!
  • UWS Holly – Andy Cohen (Godfather of Bravo Trash TV) and Anderson Cooper.
  • JP on the Island of Long – Billy Joel and Elton John
  • JD (Not the Bottle but the legend) – Alex Hamilton and Dave-1 from Chromeo and they are going to eat Dim Sum.
  • BK is requesting dinner at Lugar with us.
  • Stuey who is in OK – Yoshaiaki Omura, MD his bidigital O ring test would be a topic that I would enjoy. Second person is his mother who passed away 12 years ago. Or he would sub out Nikki Glaser who is easy on the eyes.
  • RMT (Reader Number 5) also having dinner with Anthony Bourdain and her husband.
Ate there once, the mutton is pretty good.
  • M(squared) the Domestic One – She is bringing her parents and having dinner with them and she is eating in.
  • Mary Louise Geranium – Ina and Jeffrey Garten at Rao’s
  • Z(squared) is taking his brother to dinner to celebrate his acceptance into Columbia’s EMBA Program.
  • Steve from Flushing – Having Dinner with Derek Jeter and Pedro Martinez (of Boston) and they are drinking at Yankee Tavern.
  • The Bartender – Kramer and Neuman at Soup Nazi’s joint.
  • Mr. Clean – Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel – Tavern on the Green. THAT IS A GOOD ONE!
  • Constantine – Sarah Jessica Parker and Mathew Broderick at Minetta Tavern for burgers.
  • San Pedro Scoop – AOC and MLK – I am feeling hopeful for change and I want to get those two together.

Thanks to all that played along. San Pedro Belize – I may be coming to you for next Friday so stay tuned!

We Are NY Tough

I was standing outside waiting on the dog to pee Thursday morning and I felt a subway rumble under the sidewalk and it almost startled me. I hadn’t seen a subway platform for over 28 days. From my “office” I can see the B & Q train on occasion going over the Manhattan Bridge but that’s it. We are now 26 days in lockdown and I am starting to forget the little things that make this city so great. The things that normal people skeeve that are just part of life for New Yorkers.

So there is a video clip that someone made of Cuomo’s speech. I encourage you to go seek it out. It is titled “NY Tough” grab a tissue it will put a tear in your eye.

There are two parts that really hit home. “You have to be smart to make it in New York The Second part is equally strong “And because we are New York Tough. We are tough, you have to be tough. This place makes tough. But it makes you tough in a good way. We are going to make it because I love New York. And I love New York. Because New York loves me. New York loves all of you. Black and White, Brown and Asian, Short and Tall, gay and straight. New York loves everyone. That is why I love new York.” Incidentally Maria informed me that I got my New York Pin so I guess I got that going for me.

So I put on my reporter hat and asked a bunch of my fellow New Yorkers (via email, text, Instagram) a question – “Once we get out of this what is the one thing you are going to do?” I will start off;

  • Carbunkle Trumpet – I plan on sitting with the old Chooch’s at the Cigar Inn on Second Avenue and smoke an Arturo Fuente Opus X ($75 a stick) hell I may smoke two of them at the same time! I might even debate the Chooch’s about Trump. (highly discouraged as they are all red hat wearers)
  • The Notorious N “M’effin” G – Make a reservation at Carbone and have every single person I have ever met over to my apartment to pre-game.
  • The work wife (The international one) – I am going to day drink by the pool or beach with no social distancing and then go out to eat every night for weeks because I am already tired of cooking every single meal.
  • My Cubical Roomate in the West Village – See my friends and do whatever we can as a group. Oh and join you on Second Avenue too!
I recall a baseball game right after 9/11 and they showed the back of the camera and it had this sticker. This is my iPad stand I put that sticker on it on Friday March 13th. That is the last day that New York was normal.
  • My Haitian Brother from another Mother not wishing to be from PA – Talking to everyone on the Train at Grand Central and having lunch with my work brothers and sister at Sophies and Blue Smoke and drive the kids to school. (he has 2 young ones and a wife that works in a medical lab – make sure you pour one for him)
  • Tarheel M(squared) – Drink an overpriced iced latte on my way to boozy brunch in the East Village then day drinking all day!
  • Shawneen from Middle Village – I am going to visit my family and hug and kiss them with no fear!
  • M(Squared) the former work wife (the domestic one) – Response pending
  • The Cruise Queen – Going to a nice restaurant after I get my hair done.
  • Geranium’s Work Wife – I am going to head down to Paddy McGown’s Pub drink buckets of Busch Light cans with friends and sing along (way out of key) to all our favorite songs on Touch Tunes.
  • Don Bruni – I am going to hop on a plane and hit an island somewhere. Work phone in a lock box in my bedroom.
  • The Credit Queen – I am going to NEVER again get pressured into buying ginormous amounts of toilet paper. Drink more prosecco, pay attention – really pay attention at Mass.
  • Bikinisareforever – Yankees Game
  • Asian Fireman – Going to the Rambling House for a proper pint of Guinness.
Rush hour on the Manhattan Bridge – Yep that is a FedEx Truck
  • AB the LSU Tiger Fan – Go to Nat Sherman for 2 Metropolitan Host Maduro Hyde and smoke it in Bryant Park while enjoying a few 24oz Ice Cold Corona Mortar shells and polish off a few dirty dishwater dogs. YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR HIS ACCENT WHEN YOU READ THIS.
  • Bobcat – Peter Lugar Steakhouse in Brooklyn and see her sister
  • The Professor – Swing by 773 Dive Bar, Palace Dive Bar, Connie O’s Dive Bar and Call Box (yep you guessed it another dive bar)
  • Homeless Tim – Fried Chicken at TAK Room and sit down and eat it properly. *he got that for Takeout when he fled the city for CT*
  • Lady Barrister Murphrank – Commissioner, Fausto, Osteria Morini (Italian Joint in the City) as that was the last place she ate before the city went on pause.
  • Mr 3 First Names – A repeat Trip up 5th Avenue (its a FDNY Pipe’s and Drums band thing)
  • AV The Russian – Take the subway anywhere and have a nice boozy brunch outside at a restaurant while touching every single person I see.
  • AV’s Momma – After I give my daughter an unending hug and shed some tears, Ima getting a huge juicy burger and eat it down by Battery Park across from the Statue of Liberty. I LOVE THIS ONE
  • Flynn Shady – Drinks at Down The Hatch in Greenwich Village and a slice of pizza at Joe’s,
  • PC the Memphis Fan – Queens Comfort in Astoria and get rousingly drunk at hip hop brunch then walk it off along the East River.
I don’t know what scares me more. That Z(squared) will get one of these guys if they are having a bad day. Or I will get one of them if we are having a bad day. I am kidding because no mater what they still have to go into work. God Bless you Boys!
  • The Cousin – A Bouie UES Brunch at Penrose with my girls!!!!!!
  • UWS Holly – Well it won’t be ‘go see Hamilton’ because her tickets are for May 30th. She will go to the 105th street dog run with the Ellington in the park outdoor café.
  • Maria – Bloody steak at Peter Lugar in Brooklyn
  • Gumata Jennie – Joining Maria for that Steak
  • Rhino – A great meal from Maria and Inga
  • LJZ – Stupid Expensive Cocktails on the roof of the Peninsula then sipping champagne at Tiffany’s with her personal shopper.
  • F from Z(squared) – Playing Dominos at the Ear Inn and drinks at Oceana.
  • JP on the Island of Long – Head to the Gym then Beach. I’ll be in a NY state of Mind.
  • Tay-Tay – Mani/Pedi, then a Swedish Massage and flying down to Florida ASAP for the Big 3-0!
  • Vivian Longstreet – Raoul’s – having a martini at the bar served by Franko then I’m having dinner in a booth. I will start with 6 raw oysters, then steak au Poivre and finally the profiteroles.
Asshole to Elbow getting a pic of Manhattanedge
  • Ty Middelton – Go to my Tailor and pick up the Rick Owens Suit I had altered. Then head over to Caviar Russe for Vodka and Caviar.
  • Ty Webb on The Price is Right – Response Pending
  • Name Withheld to protect the innocent – JG Mellon’s in the UES for a bloody Mary, Bowl of Chili and a Burger.
  • The Bartender – I am going to hug the F Train!
  • San Pedro Scoop – Murray’s Bagels for a Sesame with Lox or Maple Walnut Cream Cheese naturally Untoasted
  • Brizzyc – Wants to go to Kettle of Fish for a Packers Game! I miss being with FANS!
  • Grantmeaccess – Anything to do with Beer!
  • Mary Louise Geranium – Find a Gospel Brunch and ride the Q Train into the city to see her chiropractor.
  • Steve from Flushing – Aquaduct and then maybe Belmont.
  • The Bookie – I am going to go to one of my favorite Alphabet City Dive Bars, walk in the men’s room and if it doesn’t smell like it used to I am going to be pissed!
  • QBall from Tudor City – I am going to Old Town Tavern sit at the bar and bitch to John (the Bartender) about how the Mets completely fucking Suck!
  • Kate the Dog Sitter – I am going to my favorite restaurant Coppola’s with my grandma!
  • Constantine – “I am going to walk into Mt. Sinai hospital and I am going to hug every nurse, doctor and employee”
  • Mr. Clean – I am going to cherish the following 6 words – “Stand Clear Of The Closing Doors!”
  • DRS (Former Work Momma) – I plan on seeing my mother, and head to the beach.
I miss the old Normal

Thanks to all those who played along. I had fun putting this out.

Weekend Fun Here in Brooklyn!

Here is what is currently going on here in Brooklyn

DJ Bobby did a show on Friday Night – Thanks for doing it Bobby. It was a welcome break.
Get The House Party App. It keeps us Mo-Ho’s together.
So there was a error when I was ordering my Rum for Painkillers. Anyway we now have plenty of post COVID-19 Rum Drinks!
Mr. 3 First Names with the Win!
It was a long week!
Yes we are Nerds but what else are we going to do?
That was what Cinco Askew requested for dinner
It rained on Saturday so it kept people inside which is what everyone needs to do!
Lots of Alcohol being drank!
This Bitch!

Hope you had a good day and stayed inside!

This One Could Get Me An Award

Geranium and I are very thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful that we are employed. Both of us have occupations that allow us to stay busy and focused during this. Like I have said numerous times, we don’t watch the news and my Twitter Feed is pretty non-current events as much as I can but still stay informed. Facebook, I have gotten to the point where I am just blatantly blocking people for their ignorance and or belief that there aren’t slants on news sources.

So on the weekend we don’t have much to do in terms of work and we now find ourselves finding shit to do. I do this because well, lets be honest, you can only watch Tiger King so many times. Another thing is that we don’t need to start drinking at 10AM. Yeah the vibe is getting serious up here.

Pre COVID-19 my Saturday would consist of doing laundry, taking the dry cleaning with Maya and then knocking out the other ancillary items. A drink with the Murphranks or some other fun item would be on our Saturday plans and that was it, we loved it! Now days we are missing it but know we shouldn’t sneak over and have a “house party” because it takes one fuck up and someone’s mother or father is dead.

So we are on lockdown and seriously, nobody really needs to be out in this shit. Because of this I created a list of stuff to do. This particular Saturday after we did the laundry I decided it was time to clean that oven and stove and the kitchen. I cleaned the bathroom like it was in a MTA Subway. Then I went big balls and went after Geranium & my jewelry cabinet.

Yes folks I am about to fucking blog about cleaning the oven and other stuff. Oh and because your ass better be inside you are going to read it too! Oh and the last picture on this thread is a bonus because that will tell you how bored I was today.

Yep, I shower every day and put on my uniform of Jeans, Golf Shirt and my Black Pull over. I did this when I was Fun-Employed 10 years ago.
Yeah I know it’s 10AM and I haven’t been out since 11:30 last night but there is another hooman in the bed so I am good.
Cleaned all the spices and oils.
Yep, This wasn’t fun but at least it is clean
Like I said, we are blessed so we paid the maid last week to make sure she stayed the fuck home.
Picture solely to annoy my foodie friends. Each box marks a trip to per se at Christmas.
I am glad this is done.
Geranium has a lot of necklaces
Broke out the Iron and did my handkerchiefs.
Who I am I kidding, I am not getting on the Manhattan Streets till maybe May and some think June. But they will be ready!
Now feel free to Judge The Fuck out of me.
Yes I ironed and starched the pillowcases.

So a friend of Vivian & Stone who we met many moons ago in Belize and now lives in Tudor City told me that he has his bedding starched. I was enthralled because I normally will just put the clean pillow case on the pillow and call it a day. So in my attempt to keep from drinking I followed Ty Middelton’s (that is his Soap Opera Name) advice and starched them. Wait till our maid returns and I inform she is to now do this. Like I said, this is some award winning shit!

Seriously folks – Stay the Fuck Home!

Just the Pictures Bonus Friday Post!

You guys getting tired of this shit yet? Feel free to shoot me some questions or requests. No I am not going into Times Square, there ain’t anybody there anyway!

Did our first House Party with the Asian Fireman’s wife and sister
Spoke with the Mo-Ho’s too!
She and I have been told that we wear similar glasses.
Maya is extra loving these days.
So seeing this week was a welcome sight. When we get done with this I can’t wait to sit on the Murphranks roof deck watching the Helicopter traffic return from the Hamptons into the city.
Maya is missing her friends on the hall. No not really but she likes a good run down the hall.
I think it is pretty safe to say that 46-1 will never come back into New York after this.

Let me know if you want to see anything different or have a special request.

“God has given You a huge block of Time. What are you going to do with it?”

There is a 2 pc band up here that we like listening to by the name of The Tall Pines. It is a husband/wife team of Connie Petruk and her husband Christmas Davis. They play on a lot of Losers Lounge Tributes and have a unique sound. They had a virtual concert (would you have said that term 15 days ago?) last night on their roof in the UWS. Connie said that term that I have decided to use as my title.

So what are you going to do? You going to drink your face off with Vodka, Gin and Rum? Gang, I lived that phase back in the day and you can only really do about 7 days until you have a body shutdown. Here in New York we are in a “Essential Lockdown”. Both of our work places are still blowing and going and we are trying to stay normal.

So what are you going to do during this ‘self quarantine” time? I mean eventually the booze, cooking, cleaning and Netflix binging is going to get boring. What next? As you can see I am ramping up this worthless dribble. But is it really making me a better person? I think it is time to ‘get uncomfortable’ gang. Step out of that safe place that we have been in for the past 5 days.

I look forward to these things. Please keep doing this. Seriously folks people need this!
Schermerhorn Street – Normally it is a ‘look both ways or you will get run TF over’ street. Now it is empty.
SERIOUSLY FOLKS – STAY THE FUCK HOME!
Hey US Retailers – DO THIS! I understand that baby Formula is in high demand. Stop hoarding!
Owner of Sid’s Gold Karaoke Bar and lead for all the Losers Lounge Shows is now doing a daily spot too! This keeps me happy guys.
What Fooking Day is it? I laugh at my old person pill organizer but it does help.
If you can – Keep those Reservations for future events.
“We spoke about how this is going to change things that we have never imagined but people still need people.”
First off ignore that Mug Shot pic on the left.
The Professor/Bobcat/Mr. 3 First Names/Lady Barrister/Geranium/CBT day drinking via virtual was a success.
Side Bar – if you want to have drinks in NYC shoot me a text and we can have drinks. This is now the new norm and people will need to hear voices and talk this out.
Berocca/Shelter in Place Vitamins are in house. We have an additional 15 days for the both of us. This isn’t so much for Corona Virus – it is for the nasty hangovers we are having each morning.

So what are you going to do with this ‘gift of time’?