Don’t you hate those people? The ones who will say; “See you next year.” Those people are probably the same people who try to rush onto a crowded subway/elevator car before letting others off first.
Here are some good pics that I had from December and a couple that made it in January. Hope everyone is doing well and keeping to their New Years Resolutions. I am glad that Otter is keeping his resolution of drinking lots of beer and then dining on the finest Gut Grenade in his domiciled city. I am seriously jealous of those square roto-rooter burgers.
Hope you had a good weekend and your football team won. Me, my ass is going to be in Mexico during the Super Bowl so I don’t give much thought to it.
I know that this post is a couple of weeks late. I have been kinda busy and add to that Geranium has been working at my creative desk…….#herfault
So I started jotting down all the events that have occurred in the past 10 years. I was filling up a Legal Pad I realized HOLY FUCK! We have done some major shit in the past 10 years.
Without further adeau and in no certain order are some highlights, difficulties, not so great moments. I look back on this list and I see things that have defined us. I chose that certain quote about the windshield vs rear view mirror for a reason. Without further adeau;
CBT was “fun-employed” for a bit – Let me tell you there really isn’t much fun in that. Mind you it was 10 years ago but as I look back it was the greatest thing that happened to me. I will elaborate on this later.
CBT became a Carnie for Memphis in May and lived to tell about it. I tell people up here what I did that spring they still can’t believe it. It taught me a lot. Most importantly I learned that one should always have a nickname and periodically yell “Go For Robo” when answering a call.
Geranium went back to cleaning bedpans. I joke when I say that she was asked to come back after she came down to the river and hung out with me as a carnie. That was true by the way. This also was a good thing for our progressive movement.
CBT went to work for AMF/HW. Yep I needed to get off the streets and I found a little nitch for myself and we made a little money and had some fun too. In all seriousness God Bless Ernie and Lynn Mellor for taking a chance on me. I will always be in your debt.
English Mike/Claire, RJ/Mal-O-Rie, & Mr. 3 First Names/VQ all got hitched in the past decade. What is important about this stat is that we now have a full basketball team roster of kids. More kids to help us when we get older.
Geranium got diagnosed and Then kicked the ever loving Fuck out of Cancer. Let me just say that not all superheroes get to wear capes. Since then we sadly have some friends of ours join this club too. This also defined us and put things in perspective.
Geranium decides to not only get an Undergrad but then a Masters in Bed Pan Cleaning. I have told her that there is no reason for her to go get her Doctorate or Juris Doctorate. Her ass is done with text books.
Carbunkle Trumpet completed his first and only 1/2 Marathon. Again, if my knees could bend backwards I would kick my own ass.
After many years of owning a bar in South Bluffs we pulled off a Ponzi Scheme and moved to the core of Downtown Memphis. Yep we had to get RJ/Mal-O-Rie’s house sold, then they bought ours and we got the condo. God Bless Ponzi Scheme Pawn JL for believing a bunch of strangers at the pool that one day. *Disclaimer – I don’t have good nickname for her so this will work till I come up with one*
Geranium gets her a Job in New York City! What can I say, we like it up here. We probably are going to stay for a little more while. Anyway we haven’t seen all the dive bars in all 5 boroughs.
I get a job seeing Double Decker Bus Tickets to Tourists. Ironic that I had to move to New York to get this job.
New Job (again) for Geranium – She left cleaning those bed pans to working for a company that would make the cleaning solution for the pans.
Move from the UES to Crime-Free Brooklyn – Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for Maria we may still be unboxing those damned boxes. Moving in New York sucks!
Stamps are getting put on our Passports – Truth be told we chose to move to New York so that we could take advantage of cheaper and direct flights to foreign lands. We really have enjoyed this.
We look back for a moment and are very grateful for our past experiences. Some of those experiences without a doubt has made us move forward.
On the back of the door in our apartment we have one of those old school calendars. We use it for scheduling shit and to make sure that we keep the dog alive with our schedules. I took a look at it this morning as I was getting the Black Eyed Peas and Greens on the stove and here is what we had to show for with Trips;
Geranium was away 151 days in 2019. Mind you 31 of those days were when she was in Switzerland/France. That actually made us both appreciate our time together more and take stock in our relationship which made it stronger.
We saw Elton John and his Farewell Tour at The Barclays
Got to experience The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. That was a killer event.
While Geranium was away Mr. 3 First Names & Lady Lawyer and I went to see Jose Andres at his book signing.
Got our Southern Redneck on thanks to BK and saw Hank Jr and Skynrd at Forrest Hills.
Rang in the New Year at the Barclays Center with The Strokes.
Oh and we had dinner at Per Se too.
And so that I am not a complete prick I am going to end this list that we also did some horse gambling at Aquaduct Race Track.
Regarding Trips Away, I am kind of embarrassed to divulge this to you dozen readers. I mean this list is somewhat obscene. Mind you we were able to take advantage of Geranium’s international trips and my ability to fly stand by.
Hung with PNG Mike, Ellie & JD in London and watched 6 Nations Rugby with them.
Visited Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas
Made a trip Upstate with Vivian and Stone
Made warm weather trips to; Cancun, Belize, Fort Meyers, Gulf Shores, and Dale Hollow Lake.
Went over to Philly for a BBQ at Pepe’s house.
Got to experience Barcelona for the First Time. (Got to go back)
I did 48 hours in Switzerland to see Geranium and imagine that..it was raining!
Made it to Memphis for Thanksgiving and for a work trip in September.
Got to eat some low country cooking with the ChoHo’s in Charleston South Carolina.
All in all it was a good year for us for doing the fun shit. Granted I wondered why our bank account has been low but now I know why I haven’t been able to see my feet in months.
It was a good time for trips and shit that we saw in 2019.
So are you Tiger Nation fans getting excited yet? I have to say that the city does get a little bit of a special charge during the holidays. The Rockefeller tree will be covered in Scaffolding because they have to get it ready for the official lighting ceremony in early December. Not to worry there are tons of other stuff already up to get pictures taken for those Christmas Cards. G(Squared), I saw that they were putting lights on those chicken feet down in Chinatown. I did see a Miller Light Truck on Canal Street so you should be good to go.
Previously we spoke about some of the tips for you visitors, here are the second half of them. But this list will be fun stuff. So without further adeau;
Underground is the best way to get around the city – They deliver 1.5 million packages in the city of Manhattan a day. Add to that Yellow Taxis, Ubers, Tour Buses and the city gets a tad…..gridlocked. They once timed a car going from 1st Ave Crosstown to 12 Ave and it took almost 52 minutes. That being said using the subway is your best friend. Again use Google Maps. Those maps they have in the subway stations are good but do you know which lines are not running on the weekend? If you use Google Maps and The Pigeon App and you will have a ease free commute. I say get Metro Card and put 20.00 on it and then refill it when necessary.
Subway 101 Hints – Take off your backpack and go to the center of the cab if it is packed. Let the elderly and pregnant women sit down. If you see a subway car that is empty when others are packed it is empty for a reason. Trust me you can’t hold your breath between subway stops so don’t go there. Oh when you are leaving the subway area and see someone standing there sliding his hand like he has a credit card through his other hand do them a solid. Swipe them in the Subway on your card. Pay it forward.
Staying in an Air BnB? – Download the Fresh Direct App and have your beer, wine, bottled water, snacks and drunk munchies food delivered to your door. I say order your stuff the day before you arrive and you can schedule your delivery day and time. You will have to be there when the stuff is delivered but trust me schleping (that is Yiddish for carrying) groceries to your apartment sucks.
Speaking of Apps download the Seamless app. This is 24 hour room service for the area restaurants. It is New York’s version of Uber Eats and it kicks ass. Bagel delivery guys are the best. Make sure you tip them cash. Another App you need is the Pigeon app. It is Waze but for New York Subways and gives you real-time delays and issues.
Cost of Beers and Food – Now brace yourself you Max’s Sports Bar regulars the cost of beer isn’t going to be the same as in 38103. I don’t want to hear it, I have been here for 4 years and have accepted paying north of $5.00 for Bud Light and $8.50 for Titos and soda. Are there cheaper places? Sure there are but here is my suggestion. Sit at the bar, be nice, be respectful and maybe the bartender may give you a “Buy Back” where they give you a drink on the house. Also it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stash a couple C-notes in your wallet. A lot of Brooklyn bars are Cash Only. Those are pretty easy as you just leave your money on the counter and the bartender will take the funds needed for drinks out of your pot. Trust me, they aren’t going to screw you.
Bars and places to eat around The Barclays’ Center – plenty of great places on 5th Avenue to grab some food and drink before and after the game. In the interest of some of those establishments that I frequent on 5th Avenue I am not going to name them here. You are also just steps away from the Subway station and can get into Manhattan fairly quickly.
Sightseeing in the City – Want to see the Bitch in the Harbor? Jump on the Staten Island Ferry (it is free) and you will boat right by it to take a picture. The also sell beer on board (ANG MT just saw that and it peaked his interest) and you get to see that 5th borough that Mr. 3 First Names despises. When you are down in Fidi swing by the Stock Exchange, Bull, Fearless Girl, Hamilton’s grave. Then walk over to the footprints at the 9/11 memorial.
Food Places you have to have – First off there is no good Memphis BBQ here in New York. Don’t try it, you are wasting your time and money. I equate it to trying to find a NYC bagel in Memphis. It ain’t happening. Do your homework and try to eat a couple slices at the Best that NYC has to offer. Want to eat at Katz’s or one of the big named places – be first on line when they open. Swing by the south east corner of Avenue of Americas and W53th for some World Famous Halal Guys. Go easy on the White Sauce and get extra napkins. Again – Get Reservations NOW!
Food Suggestions – People always ask me this and believe it or not I am just as unfamiliar with places as you are. I have heard you can eat Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner at a different place for each meal for a year and not have a repeat. My normal saying is that if it is still in business then they must be doing something right. The margin of error for restaurants is so very tight and if you have a bad showing you are done. I also use Zagats, Yelp and Google Searches for the best places. If you want a Dive Bar list let me know. I have a killer one!
Clothing and Shoes – I get it, you ladies want to look good in your wedges and or heels but who are you kidding. It is going to be cold and possibly will rain. Comfort is your key and make sure that you have good shoes because you will be walking a ton! Regarding the George Costanza Puffy Coat, you can bring it but with going in and out of places, the subway you may want to layer and wear a scarf. If you plan on going to the Parade bring everything but your kitchen sink. Also the winds up here can be a bitch. My wool top coat is great about half of the time but if we are to have snow or a light rain I am breaking out my North Face coat. Bring a hat too!
Shopping – I use Amazon and order eCommerce so you are on your own. I do recommend that you check out Century 21 downtown. They have some good stuff.
Enjoy your time in New York and Brooklyn, be nice to people, support local, tip your bartenders and stay safe. We leave out on Turkey Day for the weekend but give me a shout if you are in town early.
I have a bunch of stuff building up on some scratch pads. That and Geranium is going to be away all next week so get ready for more production out of me. In so many words/phrases here is what I have cooking;
“The Big Chill” at Dale Hollow Lake (Relax, I got this)
“Memphis Basketball Fans have ‘A Guy’ when they visit Brooklyn”
Boat Ride on the Hudson
“Would Someone Fix My Cigar Bar? Fucking Please!”
“Way to Piss Me off” – Airport Decorum
“A return to the old haunts” – Going back to the USE roots
“So I came out of the closet with the blog at work”
First off, I want to give a shout out to RMT from PA. She has been a ‘stalker’ of this worthless dribble of a blog ever since we moved up here. Her son did some time down by Union Square for the past 4 years as we have lived here. Albeit, I may have never met him, but I feel like I know him. You see RMT got her Christmas, Birthday, Tooth Fairy, and Mothers Day present all rolled into one a couple of weeks back. This makes me happy and puts a serious smile on my face. Oh and by the way RMT – I want a MOG pic texted to me on the blessed day. #UgotThis
I know that I have been kind of scatter brained but I promise when I say this….we have been (really fucking) busy. I mean Geranium has been away more days in a month than she has been in Brooklyn. We aren’t bitching, she works her ass off and she actually loves what she does. She also is getting some great exposure on selling those Bed Pans. On my side…Yeah, I don’t feel so guilty working longer hours on my double decker tour bus sales gig or having a cigar with the boys. This is what people in their mid to early 50’s do in NYC right? More to come, more to come.
Anyway here are some pictures from this past week. It has been a powerful week to say the least.
Have a good weekend. Be nice to a Stranger.
Call your Mother and Father because they probably worry about you.
Never miss a chance to tell someone you love them.
And hug your babies a little closer.
As one of my cigar buddies always says “These are interesting times we are living in.”
Back in February The Professor mentioned possibly field trip to The Tamaqua when it got warm. A few weeks ago when we were enjoying the roof deck in Park Slope Mr. Three First Names reminded us that we should make a trip to The Tamaqua. Since I had no idea what I was in for, I was all in. So we planed the trip this past Sunday.
Folks, I have visited some unbelievable Dive Bars here in New York. Milano’s Bar, Hanks Bar (when it was still open), The Ice House in Red Hook, Franks Lounge in Fort Greene, Farrells, Rudy’s with that Red Pig, and The Trailer Park Bar. All of these places hold a special place in my heart because they offer something that you can’t just buy or install. They are national treasures. Hold of to your hat folks. Here is where you are going to probably swallow your gum….
The Tamaqua could win the Title of the Best Dive Bar in New York.
I know, I know can you believe that I made that ballsy statement on a Tuesday? First off for me to properly describe The Tamaqua is going to be hard/damn near impossible. This place is stuck in a Time Machine. According to the Group it took a serious hit during Hurricane Sandy but yet she still sits there. Seriously as we were sitting there having some afternoon drinks one would not think that you are not in Brooklyn. You would think you are at Harbor Docks in Destin Florida or Tacky Jacks in Orange Beach, AL. For my Memphis folks who are coming up here in November we may have to make a trip there. You won’t believe it either!
And no Maria, I am not losing my mind and no I don’t need a tetnus shot. Your Fancy NY @ss might not come here but it is good for a laugh. Thanks to Bobcat, Professor, Lady Barrister, Mr. 3 First Names for a fun afternoon.
I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?
Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.
I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.
I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.
Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.
One would think that when Geranium is out of town I would be able to turn out a bunch of this worthless dribble. I mean, I consider it a dick move while we are together on the weekend for me to blog and not spend time with her. You may be wondering why at this particular moment I am not doing that but she is still in the rack asleep with the dog. And one of them is snoring like a freight train.
Here are some pictures of the past week that I have had in my iFoam.
I hope you have a good weekend. We are chilling here today and then finding a rooftop in Park Slope tomorrow.
Shout out to BK who is a faithful follower of this “Worthless Dribble” of a blog! (putting this here so it will appear in the header of my Social Media posts)
Regarding the Title…that was the body of the text message that I got from (Name Withheld To Protect our Northern Values) about 6 weeks back. So it would appear that Hank Williams Jr was doing a show with Lynyrd Skynyrd in a farewell tour for Skynyrd at Forrest Hills Stadium. Now before I sell out the person who sent the text message I doubled down on them. I informed (said) person that I will have to check. I told them I know “a guy” who works on the Hank tour and I would message him to see if 1- he still was still on tour and 2 – he could get us some better seats.
BK responded back to me saying that he could take care of us and get us some tickets (he knows I am not a ticket mooch) because I wanted to see him and hang out. For those of you wondering who this BK guy is…..well… we served time together. I am not talking about Federal “Pound You In The Ass” Prison, I am talking something much worse…. A month long festival that included a 3 day Music Festival, Rednecks with Smokers and then KC & The ‘Mother Fucking’ Sunshine Band! Oh did I mention that we also had an almost Tornado hit the park so on night 2 of the Music event we evacuated >30K people? Yep, BK and I may have been different ships at sea at the time (I was fun-employed, he was about to get married the following January) we respected each other and played well with others which made it easier to deal with that crap……Well…..Except for the WCBCC Volunteers. We both would choose Communism over them! (that may take a hit on the blog but nobody reads this shit anyway)
Say what you will about Social Media and Facebook. I don’t post much on FB except to plug this worthless dribble but BK and I kept up with each other via this platform. When his (Saint of a wife,I might add) posted that she needed some birthday cards for BK’s monumental celebration how did she get the word out? Facebook. Anyway this was the mode of keeping up with our lives for the past 9 years.
Flash forwarding to the show. Let me tell you (sorry Maria) but Forrest Hills Stadium FUCKING ROCKS as a venue! Holy Shit and it is fun as crap too with the Food Trucks and the booze! The fact that its nestled in the middle of Forrest Hills Queens (MEMPHIS FOLKS – Think Cross between Mud Island Theater Seating but in the midtown are like the Levitt Shell Location) it blows my mind. Oh and the line up this summer isn’t that too fucking bad either.
So before I go into the pictures; Thank You BK. Thank you for tickets and thank you for following this worthless dribble of a blog. But most importantly thank you the fact that one of these days I won’t have to come to your office so we can hang out have some laughs. “Play it Loud” runs at the Met till the fall so come on up! If not I welcome a trip down south and we can giggle at some of the stuff we have seen over the past 10 years. Thank you.
What a great Sunday in Queens. Anyone want to come up for September 11th. I want to go see Willie……
7 people went to dinner at Lilies in Union Square. What would happen later that evening in Koreatown is forever ingrained in my memory. For not only did some livers take a beating but so did a set of Bongos!
No disrespect to the Bongo Lady but the Asian Fireman that evening put your best performance to shame.
Good Times with Good People! Who would know that a week later we would find out that we were going to move to NYC.