North Vs South

Spring Break in the Big Apple

First of all I apologize for not posting for a couple of weeks. I have been up to my eyeballs with work, Geranium has been out of town, St. Patrick’s Day and its been tough to post. The past two weeks has been spring break for a bunch of schools. Rather than the beach some folks from Memphis and Northwest Arkansas made a trek to The Big Apple.

Now I was doing a bunch of work and with the St. Patrick’s Day weekend I wasn’t able to meet up with anybody. Then again does my former slinger of spirits and her high school daughter want to meet up with my boring ass or go see a Broadway show? Also in town celebrating spring break was my former roommate’s wife and college senior daughter with some friends. Lastly was one of my Twitter buddies since she was running the Brooklyn Half Marathon in ball shrinking temperatures.

I pride myself on being a fairly good tour guide to our various guests who have visited New York. I can show someone the grave of Hamilton and then in 20 minutes we are standing in the middle of Times Square watching all the tourists. Well these 3 different groups who came to NYC this past week you may want to ask them for their itineraries and or how the fuck they got tickets to some of the stuff they saw. I was impressed to say the least. Here is a short list of stuff that they did;

  • Rockefeller Center/St Patrick’s Cathedral
  • More Plays and Musicals that I care to think about.
  • Top of the Empire State Building
  • Good Morning America Taping
  • Ryan and Kelly Taping
  • Today Show
  • Brooklyn Bridge (I mean could one of you come over and took my dog out?)
  • Fearless Girl down in Fidi
  • Bunch of Pizza Joints

Here are some of the pics that they posted. Granted I didn’t get permission to post any individual person pictures but I was able to steal these pics that they posted. Still pretty cool that you can do all this stuff in a couple days.

Hey Look its My former Neighbor from the UES.
You know I have never seen this show on TV? I am more of Al Roker fan.
The Brooklyn Half Marathon being Run on St. Patrick’s Day
Another show that I hardly have ever seen.
I got to say this is pretty cool there Jen. Congrats and see you back up here in November.

Seriously you guys did a bunch of stuff this past weekend. I hope you guys had a blast.

Advertisements

“Have you been to the Oyster Bar at Grand Central?”

I would get this question pretty much every time I would talk to my fellow coworker, eye-talian and lover of smoked meats, Guido. I honestly told him that it wasn’t like I was avoiding this joint. It seemed like anytime that I was in Grand Central with some time to kill, waiting for a Metro North train the damned thing would be closed. Back tracking a bit – a couple of weeks ago Mary Louise was returning from a work trip and found herself in Grand Central so she had lunch there. She gave it glowing reviews and said it wasn’t as touristy as one would imagine.

Last Friday Mary Louise was, once again, out of town I found myself in Grand Central around 4:30. I was feeling somewhat peckish so I went looking for food before my long commute home (New Yorkers are you reading this?) So here I was, coming down the ramp, and saw that Oyster Bar was open. I knew that the dog was fine having been taken out by the dog walker so I decided to hang out at Grand Central for the Late Afternoon!

First of all, this place is frigging huge! I had no idea how big it was because it looks very small from the outside. I found a spot at the bar and God Bless Carlos, the server, he was as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I found a home at the “shucking bar” since the majority of the oysters are broken here. I was sitting between a mix of Midtown attorneys finishing up a weeks work and tourists who were pissed that it was taking so slow. I knew I was in the right spot because Carlos ran by me 3 times with various requests/specials and he liked that I was quick with my response.

I started with a half dozen and I told Carlos to pick the best of the bunch. *Disclaimer – I don’t know much about Northeastern oysters so I always trust the experts.* After enjoying the 6 best oysters I have had in a while, I watched one of the chefs make a soup from scratch about a dozen times. I really didn’t need any soup but I always appreciate someone who loves what they do. I asked Carlos what soup I wanted and he suggested the Oyster Pan Roast. This is pretty much a clam based soup with cream and tomatoes. Frigging Tomato Soup with oysters? I am in!

My View from the Front Line
Hated those 6 oysters!
Yo Holmes, what you making? Can I get a Sample?
This is some Good Shit!

Guido – You are right, I have been remiss on visiting the Oyster Bar. I am now a fan but still have an issue being only open during weird working hours!

Happy Chinese New Years and a couple Milestones for us too!

Note to self, when you think that you can make a quick trip across the pond to England for a long weekend at my age it is going to hurt. If you didn’t know; I headed out last Thursday night to hang out with Mary Louise for the weekend in London. She was finishing up a whirlwind trip of her own and had a meeting yesterday with her people. I got home last night and naturally (it is 3AM Eastern Time as I type this) the jet lag is strong when you get older. Enough about me, lets get to the title of this worthless dribble.

Happy Chinese New Year as this is the year of the Pig. We were in the Chinese section of London on Sunday having lunch with friends and they were all decked out for the big party. I keep saying I am going to go down to Chinatown and see the festivities. Maybe if they are doing it this weekend I will head over there.

So Happy 3 and a half year anniversary to us for ripping off the band-aid and moving to New York. It really has flown by and even though her ass will be getting on a plane in about 2 hours Geranium would agree with me. Again, I am not dogging Memphis, but we really like living up here. We have slowed down a tad on our exploring the city we still find it great and are enjoying ourselves. I mean could I really have flown to London for a long weekend Thursday night after working and will be back to selling tickets in Times Square today? Got to love direct flights.

Another anniversary that I am particularly proud of is that 12 years ago Mary Louise and I went Tobacco Free. We decided to quit the Tuesday after the Super Bowl and we did it together. Copenhagen and Virginia Slims Menthol started losing money on us 12 years ago and even though we both gained enough weight to support another child it was the best decision that we could make. So to all of you who are battling your demons keep up the fight. People ask me if I miss dipping. Who are you fucking kidding? Sure I miss it but I don’t miss having my gums scraped or the chance that I could get mouth or gum cancer.

I will post more about the trip to London, I have a ton of pictures that I took sober(ish) and will recap later this week. Happy Chinese New Year, Happy “half” Anniversary of being New Yorkers and Tobacco Free to us!

“What Part of Texas You from Kid? Oh You are From Memphis, I have been To Nashville!”
I bet my friends from Indy didn’t draw a sober breath that night. Or the many days following that night.
Proud of this!

Have a good week, even if it is Tuesday!

Carbunkle Trumpet’s Friendly Suggestions for Tourists Visiting Gotham This Winter

Please note that I am trying to clean up my act because there is enough ugliness on Twitter right now. I mean would you have really clicked on this worthless dribble if the title were “You will probably get called an Asshole by a New Yorker if you do this.”  Do you recall way back to the first Holiday Season when I posted about some ladies who stopped short in Times Square? Sadly I have turned into more of a bitter New Yorker and Marathon Sunday was the tipping point. 

Marathon Sunday we were to venture up to Woodlawn in the Bronx for Wee Fi’s “Wizard of Oz” Seventh birthday. In order for us to get Metro North we have to get to Grand Central so we have to jump on a 4 Train at Nevins Station. Normally that isn’t a big deal but on this Sunday the 4 Train was packed tighter than a pair of pants at an all you can eat buffet. The train is full of Marathon Spectators who are in deep need of reading this list. Rather than have a full on Fucking-Come-Apart on a jackass who thinks that wearing a packed backpack doesn’t bother anyone else…..so I chose to come up with this list. 

Below is the short list of suggestions that I would like to extend to anyone who is thinking of visiting New York. AKA – Don’t be this Asshole or you may get yelled at.

  1. Walking on our City Streets, Subway Stairways,  and Common Area Walkways  – please remember these Two Fucking Rules; NEVER EVER stop in the middle of the above mentioned while in New York. I assure you will get run the hell over by a New Yorker who is walking at top speed. Second, and this goes without saying; LEAVE YOUR FUCKING PHONE IN YOUR POCKET! You don’t text and drive in your hometown, why do you you think you can text and walk up here? Too many people get yelled at on the streets for updating their Facebook updates. Step to the side if you have to text your cousin that you just saw someone famous. 
  2. While in cramped spaces (Subway, Elevator, walking into the Garden) take that backpack off of your back and just hold it in your hand. I promise that it may seem foreign reading this in Memphis or other parts of the US but it is a major No-No here in New York. Especially on the Subway! You will get yelled at. 
  3. While walking on our streets do us other people don’t walk side to side if you are a family of four. Want to really piss off some folks on the streets? Walk hand and hand. Oh and if you have strollers, you can only do that in Park Slope not in Manhattan during holiday season. 
  4. Asking Directions – Again this is going to seem foreign but try to know where you are going before you step out onto our streets. It isn’t so much about addresses it is the cross street and what direction is this sucker on the dividing line aka 5th Avenue. In other words know the lingo; East = East side of 5th Avenue. West = do we really have to do this? Uptown = North of 60th street. SoHo = South of Houston Street. Also Google Maps is your friend when trying to negotiate the subway. Trust me.
  5. Be a Boy Scout – aka – be ready to act. This applies to when swiping your Metro Card at the Subway Turnstile. You don’t want to be digging in your pocket while at the turnstile. Ordering a bagel at a bodega….let me tell you that you will get a Soup Nazi comment from the deli worker or a “Can you hurry the Fuck up” from someone standing on line behind you. 

 

Getting Around The City on Marathon Sunday Can Be Difficult
See The Disdain on the Face of The Woman Exiting The Subway? She is About To Break Bitch on These Picture Taking Tourists. Its a Fucking Coffee shop!
This Makes My Ass Twitch Every time I see it! I Want To Play Red Rover/Red Rover Send Carbunkle Right Over! 

Trust me when I say that It isn’t that New Yorkers are Rude, we are just in a Hurry. Hope that you had a good laugh and please don’t be “That Guy/Gal”!

When in Red Hook Brooklyn…

Actually this isn’t a BBQ post because Hometown BBQ is located in the heart of Red Hook. Nor is this an Ikea post because Red Hook is where all of Manhattan goes to get their Swedish multi density fiberboard furniture.  Nope in Red Hook is a Fairways Grocery where one can get pretty much all that you need when formulating a grocery list. Due to space and size limitations lots of grocery stores can’t carry everything on your shopping list. Take our local Brooklyn Fare grocery store 3 blocks from our apartment. Great selection but we can’t get a lot of the ‘southern’ fare items due to space restrictions. Trust me when I say that I have been searching for dried Black Eyed Peas for weeks.

For you Non-NYC readers let me give you some comparisons. Fairways Grocery in terms of Memphis grocery stores; Remember the old Seessel’s then Schnucks Grocery Stores? Well add Charlies Meat Market Butcher and then Destin Seafood for fresh seafood. That is what Fairways Red Hook is for you Non-New York folks. Anyway after an hour visit to the grocery store I loaded up my “Old Lady” cart and decided that I needed to bring back lunch to Mary Louise and crew.

You may recall my post way back when we landed here back in August of 2015. As I walked out of Fairways I remembered Defonte’s Sandwich was here back when the Asian Fireman took us there. On that Saturday we were experiencing a wonderful Nor’Easter so I was looking forward to getting me a chicken cutlet Red Hook Sandwich. Trust me when I say that this Italian Sandwich Shop didn’t disappoint at all.

56235645640__7C6025D2-F9CD-483C-A29E-B39575373CC1Success! I got me some Black Eyed Peas. Now if I can get Glory Brand…

IMG_4558“What you need a menu? You can’t read the wall?”

IMG_4560The smells coming from this steam table can’t be described.

IMG_4562Pretty Much every cast member of the Soprano’s has eaten here and left an autograph

IMG_4563Center of the pic, yep that is the cast with Christopher in the center.

IMG_4564Reminds me of the old pictures of Ronco Pasta

Sorry I have been busy with no posts last week. I was busy.

Past Due Post – Herman’s Ribhouse

So 2 weekends ago Mary Louise and I made a trip up to Fayetteville, AR to spend time with some good friends. There was also a football game going on but that is beside the point. We flew in Friday evening and hung out at the house and had some fellowship and food.

Saturday after a wonderful 11AM kickoff and a through arse kicking we decided that a trip to a ribhouse was in order. If you have ever visited Fayetteville you know what I am talking about. Herman’s Ribhouse on College Ave. I am happy to report that not much has changed from Hermans since our last trip some 10+ years ago. The menu is untouched and they still have my favorite football coach’s picture on the wall. The steaks are grilled on a flattop grill and the seasoning and sauce is to die for.

IMG_4414Leaving LGA for XNA. No it wasn’t him. I figure it was one of his cabinet appointees or the First Lady

IMG_4260What has 108 diamonds, outsourced Ruby’s and Sapphires and still makes me harder than a diamond in an ice storm? Yep that is the World Champions Chicago Cubs ring. We ran into one of my college buddies who is on staff with them. And no I can’t get you fucking tickets. Go buy your own.

IMG_4420Here you go Jennie – the best part of of being in Razorback Stadium on that Saturday. We did stay for the entire game. Albeit it was having some ‘fellowship’ but we were there.

IMG_4424UWS Holly – They wear Midtown Uniforms on the Hill too.

IMG_4433Herman’s Rib House

IMG_4431Picture doesn’t do this justice. This sucker is delicious!

IMG_4435Mary Louise with Bruno and Bubba The twin Doodles.

IMG_4440When I die I want to be a Davis dog.

IMG_4444This picture sums it up perfectly. To the right I am at least cheering, Mary Louise on the left is confirming her reservation to Germany. Rae(Squared) is to my lower left and she is counting the minutes till she can go back to the Delta Shelta and get back in the rack. She may have been at Maxine’s International Tap Room (a tear is forming in my left eye right now) making her father and mother proud. It was good to see everyone at the game!

56095859133__9B6222BB-320F-44D5-8C91-09FA3E237E38Maya was not pleased to find out that she was replaced that weekend by 2 doodles. She showed Mary Louise. She peed in her new shoes.

Thank you to our hosts and sorry if we didn’t get to see everyone on the trip.

Finding Memphis Food in New York – Some of you are a bunch of Titty Babies!!!!

Yeah I called you a snowflake, snowflake. I mean come on Memphis….You let a silly 5 year old tweet and article get your panties all in a wad because someone threatened your beloved BBQ? I mean lets talk about some serious fucking issues……

I am kidding folks, slow your breathing. Now that the ‘preview’ part on my two social media platforms picked up those three sentences I can come clean. Much like that ill fated tweet I do hope that I can get a bunch of clicks by people who actually think I was serious. Sorry if some of you think that I was serious about that. I have said it before and I will say it again;

“Trying to Find Memphis Barbeque in New York City is much like trying to find a New York Bagel in Memphis.”

That tweet on Sunday was a perfect segway into my point today. We love eating up here in New York. The different cuisines, the different flavors, the 3 Michelin Star restaurants it is something that you can’t explain in 500 words or less. One such cuisine that we have not really found up here is Cajun/NOLA Food. We tried a Bourbon Street joint near restaurant row a couple years ago and it was horrible. On each trip back to Memphis we would immediately head straight to Bayou Bar and Grill or Second Line to get our fix but there had to be a good option here in New York. 2 weeks ago we were Sunday Funday’ng up on Second Avenue and were talking to some fellow patrons and they recommended a joint up the street at Second Avenue and 90th called The Infirmary.

I made a mental note and this past week I was in the area and popped in for a quick bite. The Menu was straight Cajun/NOLA, they had poboys, catfish entrees and even had Abita beers. The bar reminded me of the old “Sleep Out Louie’s” and Original “Bayou Bar and Grill” white marble and it didn’t smell of stale beer and bleach so that was a plus. The food was killer and we will be back!

IMG_2769Bar and yes they have Frose for you fancy people – Old SOL Alums – recall the frozen Margarita Machine?

IMG_2771You have to respect a joint that has not one but two Absinthe vessels.

CajunInfirmaryNYCRoastBeefPoBoy.0I mean have you ever tried to eat a poboy with a raging hard on? It was fierce I tell you!

IMG_2773“Brunch is Bitches Robo” Alex from the Cigar Inn

IMG_2772Catfish, Fried Chicken, Oysters, PoBoys, Shrimp and Grits, its all there folks!

IMG_2770Cloth napkins, Crystal Hot Sauce – Life is good my friends.

IMG_0917 (1)So they lack Sides and don’t believe in proper sandwich buns, some of you guys are just mean I tell you! They do have a good smoked Pastrami up here that is pretty good.

Hope you had a good laugh and got to the bottom of this post before you are blasting me on Social Media.

 

Shopping in New York City….Who do I have to F&*K to get Cajun food up here?

So Mrs. Trumpet was hosting her Christmas party last weekend. I know what you are saying, its mid January. Her menu was to include BBQ Sliders and Muffaletta Sandwiches as well as some other party food items. I was dispatched to get the Olive Salad needed to make the sandwiches and I figured this would be an easy task right? Well the cost of shipping Central Grocery’s Olive Mix is cost prohibitive so I figured I would make my own. First I needed a bottle of Giardiniera which is picked vegetables (cauliflower, carrots, banana peppers, pepadew, and olives) and is the base of any good olive salad.

After 4 trips to different stores, bodega’s and specialty stores produced absolutely ZERO Giardiniera. How in the world can New York not have Giardiniera or anything similar? I have talked a couple times how we struggle finding good Cajun food up here. I am starting to think that this is a conspiracy. Needless to say after all my trips to the stores I created the best I could do of an Olive Salad. Thankfully because all of these New Yorkers have never had a Muffaletta it was a hit and they loved it.

MZ_Product_GIARDINIERANow some of you are going..Oh so that is what he is talking about

IMG_2578Yeah I kind of made a bunch, oh well at least it won’t go bad!

IMG_2589It was a hit to say the least!

I guess me finding a Shrimp PoBoy or a good Roast Beef Debris Sandwich is going to be futile up here too.

Fun during a Memphis Snow Storm

“Hey Kid, you are from Memphis right?”
“How in the hell can 3 inches of snow shut down a city?”

Yeah I took some serious heat for the Memphis Snowstorm last week.

IMG_2588All the kids in Memphis can thank Uncle Carbunkle for keeping the tradition alive!

IMG_2585PJ’s inside out, slept with a spoon under my pillow and poured ice in the toilet each night! Worked like a charm!

IMG_2546And the kids still went to school the next day up here in Manhattan!

IMG_2527It was cold last week. I am not a fan of this at all.

 

Theo and some others better be singing my praise. Of course their parents are hating Uncle Robo!

 

And then it happened…….

So the Bar Wife/MILF and I would tweet each other this football season how much we hated football. Primarily this exchange was because our beloved Razorbacks sucked worse than Tennessee. Side note – I do worry that Bar Wife/MILF is introducing her daughter to all kinds of new curse words but only time will tell. I was telling her that she can become a Hockey Fan and I would even get her a New York Rangers sherzie if she wanted one. So far she is still sticking to her guns and not giving up on the Hogs. Before I go any further do you recall this POST when I called myself out for not watching much college football?

Well I did it again and this time I fear that I may be banned from Max’s Sports Bar because of it. Over the Thanksgiving holiday the work place had the suite in MSG. The event was for Red Hot Hockey which is Boston University vs Cornell in Men’s Collegiate Hockey. I invited some customers who actually were excited to attend the game (I found out that it is actually called a game instead of a match) and I got to take Mrs. Trumpet also.

As we were heading to the Garden I get a text from Utah TS asking me if I was watching the Iron Bowl (for you Yankees that is Auburn vs Alabama football game) and I had to call myself out. I wasn’t watching the game and was choosing ice hockey over college football. I know, I am kind of ashamed to admit it and I think that I may be also turning into the Las Vegas Canadian. #letsgoRangers

IMG_2272I am kind of ashamed to admit it to anyone but the Hockey was pretty good. And trust me when I say that the Fans get into it!

IMG_2258Since the Grizz are the new dumpster fire, I may officially become a fan of these guys.

IMG_2265Here is a cool thing that the Garden does. On the walls of the suite level they have pictures of past performers that have visited the garden. Yes that is Sting, Annie Lennox and Lenny Kravitz back stage.

IMG_0059Johnny and June Carter Cash

IMG_2266Elvis’ 1972 visit to the Garden. You got to represent!

IMG_2260Mrs. Trumpet – “man it is cold sitting in the seats”
Me – “Ice is cold honey.”

IMG_2262As usual the Garden was packed!

IMG_2263Fun Fact when Cornell scores they taunt the visiting goalie by chanting “It’s all your fault!” That didn’t go over too well with my work momma who’s son is on the 8th grade hockey team and is the goalie.

So hopefully when I visit Max’s Sports Bar in December the will serve me beer. I promise not to ask if we can put on the Rangers or Islanders if they are playing. I promise.

I hope you had a good laugh today.