On the road with CT

Past Due Post – Herman’s Ribhouse

So 2 weekends ago Mary Louise and I made a trip up to Fayetteville, AR to spend time with some good friends. There was also a football game going on but that is beside the point. We flew in Friday evening and hung out at the house and had some fellowship and food.

Saturday after a wonderful 11AM kickoff and a through arse kicking we decided that a trip to a ribhouse was in order. If you have ever visited Fayetteville you know what I am talking about. Herman’s Ribhouse on College Ave. I am happy to report that not much has changed from Hermans since our last trip some 10+ years ago. The menu is untouched and they still have my favorite football coach’s picture on the wall. The steaks are grilled on a flattop grill and the seasoning and sauce is to die for.

IMG_4414Leaving LGA for XNA. No it wasn’t him. I figure it was one of his cabinet appointees or the First Lady

IMG_4260What has 108 diamonds, outsourced Ruby’s and Sapphires and still makes me harder than a diamond in an ice storm? Yep that is the World Champions Chicago Cubs ring. We ran into one of my college buddies who is on staff with them. And no I can’t get you fucking tickets. Go buy your own.

IMG_4420Here you go Jennie – the best part of of being in Razorback Stadium on that Saturday. We did stay for the entire game. Albeit it was having some ‘fellowship’ but we were there.

IMG_4424UWS Holly – They wear Midtown Uniforms on the Hill too.

IMG_4433Herman’s Rib House

IMG_4431Picture doesn’t do this justice. This sucker is delicious!

IMG_4435Mary Louise with Bruno and Bubba The twin Doodles.

IMG_4440When I die I want to be a Davis dog.

IMG_4444This picture sums it up perfectly. To the right I am at least cheering, Mary Louise on the left is confirming her reservation to Germany. Rae(Squared) is to my lower left and she is counting the minutes till she can go back to the Delta Shelta and get back in the rack. She may have been at Maxine’s International Tap Room (a tear is forming in my left eye right now) making her father and mother proud. It was good to see everyone at the game!

56095859133__9B6222BB-320F-44D5-8C91-09FA3E237E38Maya was not pleased to find out that she was replaced that weekend by 2 doodles. She showed Mary Louise. She peed in her new shoes.

Thank you to our hosts and sorry if we didn’t get to see everyone on the trip.

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Where do you come up with these names?

Sorry for the delay in posting. I was busy last week because we had a long weekend to the Midwest for a wedding and I am getting back into the swing of things. Oh that and Mary Louise is +13 hours ahead of me in Japan so I am running this household all by myself. What pisses me off is that Mary Louise won’t tell me the Final Jeopardy answers since she is a day ahead of me. I hate to tell RJ but I think that she has found a new Sushi Buddy.

While we were in the Midwest this past weekend I had a couple of my readers of this worthless dribble ask me; “Where do you come up with the names of the people you interact with?” Naturally I “change the names to protect the innocent or non-sober” but some of the Mo-Ho’s were asking me how I created their names. Let me give you some insight into some of the players you read on this worthless dribble;

  • Mary Louis/Mrs. Trumpet – Thanks To Vivian Longstreet, she penned this because it is her soap opera name. She is also a perfume designer.
  • Maria – She keeps her name because she is my trusted consigliere and quite frankly she knows where all the bodies are buried. Seriously, has anyone seen Trucker Jim or Box of Rocks lately? I rest my case.
  • The Work Wife, The International One – Well she is a work friend and that is what she does
  • The Work Wife, The Domestic One – Currently Vacant
  • The Work Wife, The Managing One – See “Work Wife, The Domestic One” because she got a promotion.
  • The Asian Fireman – Well his last name is Lee so you do the math here.
  • Mr. 3 First Names – What can I say, this Staten Island resident has 3 first names in his first and last names.
  • Lady Barrister/Landlord – It is what she does and she is the landlord to Mr 3 first names
  • Z Squared – Couples name for 2 people whose last names start with Z (this isn’t rocket science folks)
  • UWS Holly – Someone names Holly who may live in the Upper West Side?
  • Baby Fine Hair (Haven’t spoken about her lately) but this person uses a shampoo that is specifically for people with Baby Fine hair. Hey it is better than me calling her “Person with a Mongoloid Foot Tattoo”!

Now this past weekend at this wedding we attended a new nickname was created. No it wasn’t from my (So in need of therapy) brain. It was from her own Flesh and Blood…..

With that, and I will do a proper blog post on the wedding and weekend. Congrats to Baby Fine Hair and Kristina on their wedding this past weekend!!!!

IMG_4270Hey don’t blame me Kiki (what I used to call Kristina before this weekend) blame your brother! Congrats and we were so happy to share with you your special day!

For those of you who weren’t in St. Louis the Celebrant (the bride on the left’s brother) when announcing the names of the newly married instead of saying K—n inserted his own wife’s name, Kristina, by mistake. Me I am going to roll with it!

Last Monday I was in Belize!

Sorry for the lack of posts from last week. I learned something very important from a whirlwind trip down south and back. My 47 year old ass doesn’t bounce back from 4 days of boozing to roll into work like I used to do. I need to start planning some “rehab” days following those trips from now on. Or I just quit making it a point to drink with Kitty, Dita, Rambo, Islenutt, Otter, Otter’s wife, Jean, Ruthie and some others while down in Belize!

It was a great trip and it was great to see some of our friends and family. Granted the 80+ degrees and sunshine sure as shit helped but we had a blast. We got to eat at some of our normal haunts; Wild Mango’s, Blue Water Grill, Celi’s Deli, Truck Stop and we got to see some new joints on the island as well.

This trip we tried a new joint to lay our head at night and I have to say that the Conch shell is perfect for those who want simple accommodations and to be in town. We found our room to be perfect for our trip and just outside of the Carnival “Painting Zones” that can be trouble if you aren’t paying attention. Thanks to Kitty Cynthia Angelica for procuring the room and as luck would have it I got to speak to my Belizean Mother (Flora) on the phone last week when I was trying to pay for the Tropic Flight. Anyway here are some pictures from the trip.

IMG_2723Monday Morning I am sitting on my veranda with a cigar (of course) and I see the kids heading to school. Talk about a helluva commute.

IMG_2691You don’t see the Nissan Vans painted Taxi yellow very often in San Pedro. We asked him how much it would cost to take us to 1st Ave and 71st street.

1E0182E0-54C0-4392-9F4E-CCDA478270E7Bitter Sweet – We were walking by Carnival Saturday night when they were dedicating this year’s Carnival to Felix Ayuso who was tragically murdered last year. The proceeds of this shirt were to go to his charity that he worked so hard for; Aids Awareness. I pretty much emptied my wallet for the $10US shirt and told them to keep the change. Dance on Felix, Dance on!

IMG_2701The Sargasso (stinky seaweed) was pretty fierce this trip.

IMG_2698Drunk Chinese Food goes together like Fat Kids and Chocolate Cake!

IMG_2721All is right with the world, I got to hang with Ruthie and Chunky!

53999038645__49EE116F-19B7-479C-B781-2D1364D039CFI “may” have had a couple of these while down in San Pedro.

IMG_2724Almost got my ass divorced while down in Belize. No Otter and I didn’t get caught checking out the girl who was sunbathing with only dental floss for bikini bottoms. (oh wait was that supposed to be a thought bubble?) I promised the wife that I would procure her a Chicken Tostada from Celi’s Deli. Albeit it was for breakfast on departure day but I got her some.

IMG_2679You can’t feel the cold but it was a brisk 34 degrees on Tuesday the morning we got up from Belize. Next time I am bringing more money and we are staying longer.

It was great seeing everyone; including those who were calling me out on golf carts for not seeing them yet (I see you Yas) and next trip we will stay longer.

Maine is for Lovers – CBT takes his show on the road

One of Mrs. Trumpet’s work people took a trip up to Portland Maine this fall and was telling her about how neat the trip was. We have been sitting on our hands for a while since momma’s school schedule has been fairly tough and we were ready to get out of town for a weekend. I was in when I was told two things that peaked my interest; cheap beer & cold water lobster. We decided on the second weekend in November knowing that the weather was going to be a crapshoot.

Yeah it was cold on Friday and Saturday in Maine. But you know what, it was cold as balls in New York last weekend too! Hour long flight and we were at our hotel in downtown Portland. We made our way to the local bar and then headed to one of the places that was highly recommended for a proper Lobstah dinner. Now it has taken me 47 years and momma 29 years (see what I did there KLCMan) to come to a stark realization; we actually prefer Cold Water Lobster over Caribbean/Warm lobster. Here is another one that Mrs. Trumpet came to the realization on this trip. She prefers New England/salt water oysters over gulf oysters.

Now let me further set the records straight. Portland Maine fucking rocks! The people up there well…..they do speak funnier than New Yorkers but talk about some of the nicest folks! The price of beer and food is much cheaper than what we find here in New York but so is the cost of living. The little shops that we walked into had items that weren’t “New York Priced” and that can be contributed to the lower cost of rent and taxes. We found the shop owners to be pleasant and very helpful. Naturally the question of where we were from was asked as they picked up on our accents but that is ok. I never said that I had to take a Wicked Pissah!

IMG_2159Pro Tip – Always take a picture of your room number so when you come back “tired” you don’t look like a schmo when trying to recall your room.

IMG_2160Pay no attention to that Bud Light on the left of the pic. I had local beers, I promise

IMG_2167This was a nice touch during the Veterans Parade. Take a hat if you needed one!

IMG_2168Anyone need some funny socks? This was a whole store devoted to funny socks!

IMG_2169There is a ton of pride for the residents of Maine. I now get it!

IMG_2171Had some neat nik-naks in a lot of the stores

IMG_2174No Nova there wasn’t any fecking snow on the ground!

IMG_2178Man they love some oysters up there! Best ones that we had that weekend were Pemaquid, Flying Point and John’s River

IMG_2183To say that the seafood was fresh is an understatement.

IMG_2192I mean who doesn’t love cheap oysters!

IMG_2195Rather strange to see, they used half gallons instead of liter bottles.

IMG_21963 bucks a beer! RJ you see this!

IMG_2200Bruised and battered and we are heading home!

Yep KLCMan, we will be back in the summer and we may bring TQ with us too! We had a blast!

 The Great Philly Smoke Out

BBQ – The art of cooking meat via indirect heat and smoked wood
Grilling – The art of cooking meat via direct heat over an open flame.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way….again! Let me tell you about a great weekend we had in Glenside. You recall the BOOGIE DOWN BBQ we had last year? Well this year we headed to Philly for the similar event. The Memphis, Atlanta and Ft. Lauderdale contingent all represented well and naturally I hitched a ride with the Asian Fireman from New York. The menu was Pulled Pork, Ribs, Beef Brisket, and Beef Ribs along with some great sides and drink.

It was great seeing everyone and to see how all of the kids have grown. We all know that the adults have grown…..out and it was great to catch up with everyone.

IMG_1323Trimming the Pork Butts

IMG_1318Working on the Ribs

IMG_1319The Scraps Pan – That will get thrown away! Sorry LB’s Momma

IMG_1330Oh get used to a lot of uncomfortable things there Asian Fireman!

IMG_1325Beef Ribs waiting to get juiced and covered

IMG_1336Good Thing that Lisa Marie is only in 6 inch deep water – No Lifeguard on Duty

IMG_1338And that is when it went downhill – The Kona Ice Slushie Cart

IMG_1322All shined up and ready to cook!

Good to see everyone!

CBT’s take on Airtravel “WTCBF is wrong with people?”

It has been a tough month of travel for yours truly. It started 4 weeks back when I made my trip back to Memphis for work and to also check on my renter in our condo downtown. I was there all week and ventured back to Gotham very late Thursday evening/early Friday morning. My hats off to those who do it week after week for their work. The next 2 following weeks I made consecutive trips to Boston and then to Fayetteville. Each of those trips I would venture to airport on Friday afternoon to return home Sunday evening. These trips were fun but each Monday I would start the week exhausted and in need of sleep and was mentally drained. And lets don’t even talk about the amount of beer and booze that I put into my body those weekends too! But that isn’t what this is about. It is about the Asshats who travel with you in the plane.

I have always considered myself a very well behaved air traveler. I was raised that when you travel you always dressed up and sitting in the back of the plane where the smoking section was located was the best place to get cokes and booze. *age check on those readers who know what I am talking about* I still to this day always put on a nice pair of slacks and jacket for a couple of reasons. First is that with me wearing a jacket I have a place to put all my shit. Secondly is if they are going to bump someone up to first class it might as well be the guy who looks the part and not sweat pants and wife beater dude.  I won’t say that people don’t give a shit anymore but have you seen some of the outfits people wear on planes now? Seriously, have people lost their moral compass or do they just not give a shit anymore? But I digress

So here is where I lose my shit each and every time I travel. Oh and don’t think that I am just being the Angry New Yorkers because Mrs. Trumpet gets equally steamed at this. Here is what get’s us frothy and want to punch people in the throat;
“Good Morning and welcome to flight 345 with service to BFE. In a few minutes we will be begin boarding but at this time we will allow any passengers who need a few extra minutes to please board now.” It is at this time that the entire gate area stands the Fuck Up and bottlenecks the gate. Have you seen this? I am sure that you have…..Everyone has and it drives me absolutely crazy.

At first I thought it was just a pet peeve of Mrs. Trumpet and myself but on a trip back from Orlando I was with my buddy SM. The same announcement occurs and I overhear SM gruff under his breath. I look at him and ask “Oh that pisses you off too?” Yep, ole SM gets as equally pissed off as I do but here is where he and I differ and it is a beautiful thing. When SM’s group number was called I notice that SM would walk through each and every small cluster of people who are jamming up the line to the gate. He would say loudly “Oh I am sorry, I was doing as I was told. I was waiting until my zone was called and didn’t clog the entrance like you are doing!” Needless to say, I am a now one of “Those Guys” because I also am doing that. I encourage everyone who travels frequently to do this. Maybe we can break those uncouth Fecks!

img_2396I wish I had one of those Jazzy scooters because I would plow into these Fecks!

img_2394Notice dude by the trash can? He was like me and plowed into the crowd when our zone was called. I may be starting a revolution!

img_2313Yes that is a book on his head, You are about to get punched in the throat. Yes I am sitting in the chair waiting till my zone was called.

img_2410Nice Hair dude, I see your son has the same barber.

Don’t do it folks! don’t block the gate when you fly with CBT!

 

 

 

From Isla Manhattan to Isla Mujeres & Back

So about 3 years ago we were vacationing with RJ and Mallory down in Mexico. We booked a Whale Shark excursion which we absolutely loved. After our swim with the Fishes the charter boat takes you to the shallow waters of North Beach at Isla Mujeres for lunch and a beer. North Beach is pretty cool so later in the week we took the ferry over to Isla and rented a golf cart for the day and hung out. There was something about the island that reminded us about San Pedro Belize so 2 years we stayed a couple days on the island prior to a week at one of the larger resorts where we kicked it with Papa New Guinea Mike and his family. On that trip we sought out more of the island and again enjoyed ourselves.

Last year, well one couple had a child which drove the other couple to move to New York so there wasn’t a Trumpet’s/RJ & Mallory yearly trip but we planned extra hard for this year. A duplex house was rented with a pool and 6 couples headed down to Isla Mujeres for a weeklong jam fest. One of the houseguests probably said it best with a post she did on her Face Crack Page. I will paraphrase it here;

Isla Mujeres is a hidden gem. The waters were clear, and peaceful (except when traveling in a small boat to swim with the whale sharks- I’ll discuss that shortly). I feel like the majority of the island was post card worthy. I mean, where else can you go and eat impeccable dishes for a portion of the price paid stateside?
E. and I went with a fun group, most of which we didn’t know. Each day was a new adventure. We would typically hop in the infinity pool and then go out for the day. Some of us would go shopping, while others went to explore.
I would recommend some time at North Beach. Sunday’s are the best if you want to witness a first-hand fiesta… Or a singer in 6 inch platforms breaking it down for hours in an itty bitty bikini. That lady had some mad skills, or at least from what I remember. The drinks were cheap and delicious!

I read her note while I was in a cab heading across town and I thought to myself “She gets it” She went on one trip with us and she nailed it on the head. Not many people can travel to an island that primarily has locally run restaurants, English isn’t the predominate language and you don’t flush the toilet paper. I get back to the office from vacation and had a couple people ask me what we did. When I told them that we hung out and didn’t do much some got it and some looked at me like we did nothing but stay drunk and not apply sunscreen. Yeah we did that too!

It was a great trip, we got to hang with our friends for a week. We ate tons of great food that wasn’t that expensive. Drank just a couple beers each day (stop laughing AB, EB, SN, SG, KC, JL, LA, RA, RJ & Mallory) and maybe had a vodka drink…or two.

IMG_2012“CBT just give them your damn Drivers License. It isn’t like you drive up there in New York anyway!”

IMG_2014No we aren’t already burnt, the umbrella was red and cast a weird color on us. Well we were drinking pretty heavily on Sunday.

IMG_2015Me and Mallory

IMG_2023The Cuban Band on Sunday-Funday at Playa Norte! You cannot beat this at all! KLC Man if you want the pic of ‘the bathing suit the lead singer wore just email me. It was impressive!

IMG_2035This was the “after” picture from being at North Beach. Funny thing is that we only rented one cart!!!

IMG_2042Had dinner here one night, the Crab in the Garlic Sauce is to die for! Die For I tell you!

IMG_2044There was a line 3 deep to get breakfast from this lady. I had no idea what I was ordering but told her that I wanted 4 of them. They were beef tacos that was killer and only cost 2 bucks.

IMG_2048View of our Casa from the roof deck.

IMG_2055Another Gem of a joint that we ate at.

IMG_2116This was last night’s meal. Killer and we sat on the street to boot.

IMG_2129Last Sunrise of the Trip. We will be back!

Needless to say, a good time was had by all and the only causality was a monogramed hat!

Carbunkle Trumpet & Mrs. Trumpet go to see “The Neighbor” & A squared in AC

We are dumbasses. Now pipe down Big Al, nobody is jerking your chain. We have lived here almost 1 full year and we finally went to the beach. I mean we are an hour away via subway and our first trip to see the ocean was almost 1 year after moving up here, that’s pretty poor if you ask me. One of our favorite beer slingers at Baker Street takes the A out to Rockaway Beach every weekend. She was telling us how easy it is and yet when haven’t made it out there to check it out. Our friend Baby lives on Long Beach and has a condo overlooking the beach and we haven’t even ‘told’ her that we were coming for a visit. So yes, we are dumbasses.

You guys remember The Damn Neighbor when we visited her back in December? We were able to figure out our schedules and decided on reuniting this past weekend. Rather than head back to New York on Sunday, we stayed over to enjoy Sunday-Funday with her & her husband and then headed back to NYC early Monday morning. We arrived on Friday evening and got to see The Neighbor, A squared, our Vegas friend KJ and my main man crush J while rubbing elbows with Guy Fieri who was in town for his Chop House at Bally’s.

Fast forwarding to Sunday, after some retail therapy at Brooks Brothers (S/O to Ba, JD, CD & J-Bob for the gift cards) we headed over to the Nanny’s house on 21st street in Longport. We visit with Nanny, pack the coolers with some beer cold drinks and load up our Tommy Bahama beach chairs and umbrella and then head to the beach. It has been a while since I was slung up in a beach chair with my ass in the sand and toes in the water. Granted we did that in Mexico this past June but that was different. With having to load up your own gear and schelping it to the beach you work up a different thirst compared to walking to a lounger and having Habib fetch you beers all day.

Now here is where hanging on Longport’s beach kicks ass – After a couple of beers and half of my cigar the neighbor & A squared’s nephews bring us our sandwiches for lunch. You know how great it was to eat a Philly cheesesteak on the beach? You can’t get that kind of service on the beaches of Destin I tell you. Here is a news flash for my 6 readers; I have been known to drink a couple of ice cold beers. I know that it is a shock for some of you but here is something that I have learned over the years. There are 3 certain places that beer just simply tastes better. One is on a hot summer day as you are riding up to the 18th green and you are laying 2 on a par 5 hole. The next is when you walk into your favorite 1st Avenue bar after baking in the sun all damn day wearing a suit that most certainly will end up going to the dry cleaners. The last would be as you sit on the beach on a Sunday shooting the shit with good friends  in Longport New Jersey. Seriously, I forget how much I love just sitting by the water with a cold drink in my hand and not a care in the world. We should have been doing this all along!  A Good Times were had by all and next time we will be back! Thank you Neighbor and A squared.

IMG_1857This does not suck at all! Next time I am making my minions carry my stuff for me. We ‘had’ to empty that cooler before we walked back home I tell you. Thank God A squared was there to help me!

IMG_1852I made the Stock Girl’s day when she was the only one who would help me because the other sales reps were too busy. She rang up 2 suits, 6 dress shirts, 3 ties, 4 pairs of socks and a pair of cufflinks. That will teach the sales reps to never underestimate the hungover Southerner who wants to know where the 46 regular suit jackets are located.

12472491_10154589531004928_5349011178104153423_nSo if I am taking the picture where is “The Neighbor”? #pooping #roboisintrouble

Thank you to the Allison’s for the hospitality and to Nanny who let me slide down the slide a couple dozen times at her pool. We shall be back!

 

 

 

Cost Of Living On This Island

I have had some folks ask me does it cost an arm and a leg to live in New York. It isn’t that bad, you also have to give a kidney and pound of flesh too. Sadly, kind of like on Ambergris Caye in Belize things have to be brought from the mainland to the island. Manhattan is no different because things do cost more here in the city. Case in point let’s talk about something that I have a little knowledge about purchasing…..Bud Light Beer!! Across the street at our local Morton Williams Grocery Store a 6 pack of bottles  will run you about $10.00 bucks. Down the block at my local Duane Reed I can get an 18 pack of cans for about $20.00. When I am visiting the Asian Fireman up in the Bronx I can get a 36 pack of cans for about $20.00 cash. Naturally the doormen snicker when we pull up in an Uber and I have to get the cart to roll a pallet of beer up to our apartment but hey, we got to value drink you know?

Now before you start in on our salaries, yes they are larger than what we were paid in Memphis but that doesn’t mean that we can go out every night and light cigars with Fifty Dollar bills. We eat at home here about the same as we did in Memphis but that is so we can eat healthier and keep our weight down. Before you start thinking we are pictures of health trust me when I say that there have been many trips to Famous Famiglia Pizza and Seamless deliveries on late nights. For groceries we use Fresh Direct Food deliveries and use Amazon for foods that we can buy cheaper. Yes I recall when you snickered about the cost of Rotel Tomatoes up here but we found we can get them from Amazon for a buck a can so life is good.

Going out for drinks can be costly if you aren’t paying attention. When we went to the Boat Basin a couple of Sunday’s ago drinks and food cost us about $140.00 per couple. What can I say, we paid for the view and had a blast so we can live with that expense. When we go out on Sundays searching for Dive Bars we have paid high and low for beers. For example, about a month ago we went in search of patios to get some much needed sun. We paid anywhere from $3.00 for a beer to $4.00 to a ‘bend you over the pommel horse ass rape’  $9.00 for a Bud Light a block from our house. Needless to say we have not been back to Sessions 73.

Fine Dining with the Murphranks, Asian Firemen, and the other Foodies. I will just say that I have never asked at the table how much something was going to cost. When you dine at a 3 star Michelin star restaurant you expect to pay for it. When I went to get the Ripert Book autographed for Allison one of the questions was why Le Bernardin cost so damn much. Eric said “You eat on $70.00 plates, you drink wine out of $50.00 wine goblets, the linens, the flowers, the ingredients we never skimp. It has to be the best or it is returned or thrown out.” I can agree with that, to have 5 wine sommelier’s on staff may seem a tad excessive but we didn’t have to wait one minute to hear about a pairing. What is funny is that we don’t pay the night we dine, we get the bill from JM a couple of days later. Not once have I ever thought “That was a tad excessive for the experience.” So if you want to know how much we pay, join us but don’t bitch and you have to be invited too.

Transportation, sure cabs and Ubers are great and give you door to door service but there are times when walking and grabbing a subway is actually quicker than on the street. If there is a ‘gridlock alert’ forget about it, take the subway! When we go to see the Asian Fireman we are always good for a Metro North train ride up and may take an uber home since we have to carry all that beer home! That and the trains get sparse towards the witching hour. I am sure I will be doing this practice in a couple of weeks for the Boogie Down. Of course I am planning on being “juiced like a Ferrari” but that’s another story.

IMG_0551Yes that is 2.99 for a can of cheap ass Tomatoes that cost a buck in Brooklyn

IMG_0436We pay less for Momma’s Maintenance Wine than we do for my beer!

IMG_8931I will have to do some research for Ernest Herbert’s Red Tops.

 Want to leave New York City with a million dollars? Show up with two million dollars!  Have a good Fourth!

 

CBT Takes on Tulum Mexico!

“You want to get out of town for a couple of days in June?” asked Mrs. Trumpet back in February.
“You going to keep asking me stupid questions? Woman, haven’t I told you that the answer is always that CBT wants another beer and yes he wants to go on a vacation.” this was my my reply before she smacked the crap out of me.

So who is keeping track that in 60 days that we have been south of the border twice, I told you about those horrible New York winters right? #extremesarcam  This trip was to Mexico and to an area that we have never been, Tulum in the Rivera Maya region. We were going to be spending some time with Mrs. CBT’s family that I have not really got to meet and attend a workshop for a couple of hours in the morning. We shagged ass on Thursday morning after leaving the Monkey Heads with plenty of food and water. I am kidding, don’t be calling the ACPCA on our asses, we have “a girl” who tends to the Monkey Heads and she is highly recommendable.

We flew out of Newark International and let me tell you folks, CBT is starting to become spoiled with these direct flights. 3hours and 30 minutes later our lily white asses were in Cancun Airport and on a Chicken Bus heading to Tulum. The resort we stayed at was the Kore Tulum and it is a smaller resort that is adult only. I am liking the smaller boutique resorts, sure there are cons to a smaller joint but there is something to be said for not having to fight with a tourist from Italy over a freaking sun lounger at 6AM. The food was good, the drink was plentiful, well until they ran out of beer. Let me type that again if you are still reading this worthless dribble; THEY FUCKING RAN OUT OF BEER! But it was on the last night and they still had Vodka and White Wine.

Overall it was a great trip, we met some new friends who live on the Left Coast, the workshop got our minds right for this year and we got some much needed sun on these bones.

IMG_1342The resort from the sea wall. Sadly this joint doesn’t have a proper beach but a 5 dollar cab ride and that was resolved. 200 Guests max is what were told.

IMG_1343Tastes Just Like Chicken I hear!

IMG_1346The View Did Not Suck!

IMG_1348Tulum’s Version of Home Depot in Town

IMG_1349This is the Mexican version of our friend’s Maria favorite bike food delivery service here in New York “The Chirping Chicken”

IMG_1352Paradise Beach – Remember those Corona Commercials? This is where they say it was filmed and photographed.

IMG_1353Another View of the Beach – Very quiet on a Sunday. Oh wait there was a general election that day.

IMG_1355Nice Joint, if we make it down that far again, we will come back.

IMG_1358Here is Christian serving us the Last Beer out of what else….a quart!

IMG_1359The Australian’s got nervous when they heard the resort was out of beer. This is when the panic ensued.

IMG_1363This did not end well folks.

IMG_1365Last picture on my iFoam that night for some reason.

You want to really hate me? Only 72 more days till we go back down to Mexico!