Geranium finally got on the road and made her way back to the home office in Seattle for a week. This trip she had to work late on Friday so we decided I would come out and hang with her and some work peeps. I got into town Friday at lunch and made my way over to her office and confirmed it. They don’t work they eat Bon-Bon’s out there and that’s about it.
I am kidding and it was nice to put faces to all the names that I have heard over the past couple of months. Since I was there for only a couple of days we were planning on doing the traditional Seattle tourist spots. aka; Pike Market downtown and maybe a museum. It was a fun trip and we had a great time. I dig’d Seattle, it has a cool vibe to it and it rained everyday.
Like I said, Seattle is a cool little town. Sure it sucked because it rained but we will be back.
When we were in Memphis for Thanksgiving we ran into EGP, Cali-Sab and the Waffle House Girl. Since EGP and Cali-Sab had visited New York a couple of times we figured that it was only fitting that we return the favor and check out their University. Mind you I had tasked CS with letting us know when was a good time in the fall to visit but she saw something shiny and forgot. #OneJob
We decided that their Senior Swim Meet would be a fun time and we promised not to paint our chests and embarrass them. “You know you got to support the team” *David Puddy Voice It was a fun trip, we got to catch up before EGP graduates and then has to get her a RJ or grad school. We took Amtrak and let me tell you, that is the easiest way to travel. No security, All the seats are big and roomy and you can’t beat it. By the way that part of the country is very nice and we need to plan a trip up there in the warmer months. It was a tad chilly on the coast to say the least.
It was fun and great to see EGP, Cali-Sab and Waffle House Girl.
On the back of the door in our apartment we have one of those old school calendars. We use it for scheduling shit and to make sure that we keep the dog alive with our schedules. I took a look at it this morning as I was getting the Black Eyed Peas and Greens on the stove and here is what we had to show for with Trips;
Geranium was away 151 days in 2019. Mind you 31 of those days were when she was in Switzerland/France. That actually made us both appreciate our time together more and take stock in our relationship which made it stronger.
We saw Elton John and his Farewell Tour at The Barclays
Got to experience The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. That was a killer event.
While Geranium was away Mr. 3 First Names & Lady Lawyer and I went to see Jose Andres at his book signing.
Got our Southern Redneck on thanks to BK and saw Hank Jr and Skynrd at Forrest Hills.
Rang in the New Year at the Barclays Center with The Strokes.
Oh and we had dinner at Per Se too.
And so that I am not a complete prick I am going to end this list that we also did some horse gambling at Aquaduct Race Track.
Regarding Trips Away, I am kind of embarrassed to divulge this to you dozen readers. I mean this list is somewhat obscene. Mind you we were able to take advantage of Geranium’s international trips and my ability to fly stand by.
Hung with PNG Mike, Ellie & JD in London and watched 6 Nations Rugby with them.
Visited Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas
Made a trip Upstate with Vivian and Stone
Made warm weather trips to; Cancun, Belize, Fort Meyers, Gulf Shores, and Dale Hollow Lake.
Went over to Philly for a BBQ at Pepe’s house.
Got to experience Barcelona for the First Time. (Got to go back)
I did 48 hours in Switzerland to see Geranium and imagine that..it was raining!
Made it to Memphis for Thanksgiving and for a work trip in September.
Got to eat some low country cooking with the ChoHo’s in Charleston South Carolina.
All in all it was a good year for us for doing the fun shit. Granted I wondered why our bank account has been low but now I know why I haven’t been able to see my feet in months.
It was a good time for trips and shit that we saw in 2019.
I have to start out by giving mad props to Otteralum (I know that is a rather strange code name but he gave it to himself) because that magnificent bastard just pulled off one helluva ACMB Reunion. Pugwash quit swearing at the laptop, your time will come….
So, we just returned from a trip to Belize, but let me go back in time for some of you younger stalkers of this worthless dribble. Before Tic Toc, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, even Myspace and Friendster there was a thing called a “Message Board” Here people could come to it and ask questions about a vacation place or rant about their favorite sporting team. In this case the Message Board was for Ambergris Caye down in Belize.
For those of us who had visited the island a number of times we would chat on either threads or in mini chat. Like I said, Social Media hadn’t launched yet and there was not a lot going on. As with any group of child like adults (much like on social media) you had some ball busting, some fights, some got kicked off and so on.
I met the bulk of the ACMB (Ambergris Caye Message Board) on one of the Boogie’s in February. I want to recall it was a poker run that TacoGirl put together and IsleNutt made bracelets with everyone’s name. Needless to say it was a great trip and then Myspace moved to Facebook so sadly the message board lost steam.
So about 2 and a half years ago Otteralum put out a “Save the Date” for his 50th birthday in Facebook. I saw it was in early November and went to put it on the calendar. But something wasn’t kosher. First of all I thought that he and I were closer in age. Then I noticed that the dates didn’t coordinate with the days of the week. Did he start drinking early and forget his birthday? Nope he sent out the invite 2 and a half years in advance. Talk about an over-achiever.
Anyway a total of 42 folks came down from the US and a good number of them were from the ACMB. It was good to see some faces that I haven’t seen in a couple years. Even as Pugwash and I spoke at breakfast about todays agenda he remarked that it was probably the first time we ever were civil to each other. I told him it was because we were both still sober but Tim knows I don’t have a beef with him. He is just a big ole hairy Teddy Bear. But with a funnier accent other than mine. Love ya Pug and Jane!
Like I said, This was a magical trip and I am so thankful that Otter invited Geranium and I to this event. Between this group of malcontents along with Otter and Mrs. Otter’s group of friends it was one helluva party. To those who couldn’t make it, you were missed.
A while back the Fab 5 (Baby Fine Hair, OTB, Dance With Me, Geranium and Not B) were talking about doing a trip to Charleston. They invited Weed (even though she was in a much younger class) and at some point and time the Fab 5 + Weed decided that spouses would be welcome also. Since Geranium was on a work trip once again I flew solo to Charleston. We rented an Air BnB downtown and flew in on Friday night.
I won’t bore you with details (Pretty much all we did was drink and eat) but I have to be honest. I really enjoyed Charleston. If you have a chance get there. They have tons of bars and neat food joints.
Like I said, it was a good trip and we had some fun down there. I later found out that Charleston was the town that Bourdain ate at the Waffle House.
Sorry for no posts last week. It was a tough week for us. We had to get the Little Bastid off to School and being off for a couple days put us behind. Not much I can really report from the Dale Hollow trip. That sucker was full of Non Disclosure agreements and “don’t post this on Social Media” comments. But lets be honest. If weren’t there you probably wouldn’t think that shit was that funny anyway.
I will be back at my normal self this week. Oh and welcome to my newer readers. More on that.
And if your football team didn’t win this weekend I hope your beer was at least cold.
Seems like I have been speaking to a bunch of our Double Decker Tour Bus Sales reps from other markets. Naturally these folks are a “tad” younger than I am but because I am here in the middle of Times Square I guess they think I have found the answers. I am also a ‘big brother’ to one of our up and comer Tour Bus selling reps and she just moved to Manhattan. Seriously, she has been her almost a month and thankfully hasn’t gotten squashed by that cross town bus either.
Honestly, how do you explain the New York Experience until you are in the middle of it? How does one properly describe the wonderful aroma from the 2/3 train tracks in Times Square station and not tell the tourists they are smelling pee/poop? I still to this day don’t know how to explain The Coney Island Mermaid Festival and I have been 3 fucking years in a row!!!
To put this in a Memphis perspective – how do you explain the Wine Race to someone from New York. What about Festival Season? Better yet try to explain Prince Mongo or Memphis politics.
To put this in a Belizean Perspective – how do you explain Halloween or Lobsterfest to someone who has never visited? Care to tell someone how bad Middle Street was during rainy season when it wasn’t paved. How about the road north when there was the hand drawn barge? Let’s not forget when Reaper would fill the skies with parachutes each spring.
You get my drift? You feel me? This shit ain’t easy!
So here are my David Letterman Top 10 “Things to Consider when choosing to move to New York” *disclaimer – please seek other council as well. I have been known to be full of shit.
Location from your residence to a Subway Platform is Paramount. What does that mean to you? When we lived at 71St and First Avenue the closest subway before they opened the 2nd Avenue Subway was at 68th & Lex which was .5 Miles away. To put that in a Memphis scale. Walk from the South Bluffs Apartments to Max’s Sports Bar which is also .5 Miles away. Oh and that is just one way. Do that twice a day in rain, snow, cold as wind and Hot ass weather. You feel me. And get ready for delays and weekend service interruptions. We live in Downtown Brooklyn so I can pick from 16 different lines and walk 75 feet to get to the first one. Geranium wants to move in May 2020. Of course she doesn’t use public transportation. I do. We will move from 333 but I have serious argument to move from this area.
How much to you want to Pay to Play? Apartment on First Avenue ran us $2750.00 and that was with a “discount” but it was a full service building (take out packages, mail, laundry, let the dog walker in) and provided a security that all guests had to be announced. (Well except for Maria) Oh and that was for 535 Square Feet too. We pay comparable to that and are 2 subway stops from Manhattan. You want to have a nice house with a yard, you will spend at least an hour+ on a train or bus on your commute into the city. I know folks who travel 2+ hours one way into the city. They do it 5 days a week. Think about this…..
Do you really need all that shit? We moved up here in a UHaul with clothes, kitchen stuff, art and a blow up bed. Oh and the poodles too. We bought at Ikea and made it work. Do you really need 3 couches? Oh by the way when we moved from UES to Brooklyn we threw away a lot of shit. I look around this place now and before we move again there will be a yard sale.
Think you can eat/drink out on the town every night like they did in Seinfeld and Sex and the City? Trust me, when I return to Memphis I always accuse the bartender of not charging me enough. It costs a lot to eat out and have cocktails here. If you don’t know how to cook………Fucking Learn! Do you recall my Bourdain Post? Learn how make an omelet. This way you can cook a hot meal for your ‘last nights conquest’ the next morning. You may even get bonus points because you both slept on a futon that you don’t have the heart to tell them you found on the street last week.
You will eventually either curse or be cursed out so get ready for it. I look back and yes I deserved to get a “GFY” for when I tried to quick walk around a lady in a walker on a crowded street. No I didn’t knock her down but I made her hesitate. And a 75 Year Old Grandmother told me to Go Fuck Myself. Still can’t get over that.
You are going to see/experience/smell/hear something that you may not agree with. How are you going to react? This isn’t up for discussion.
Want to learn a different a culture or religion? Just ask. I live down the block from The Sri Sri Radha Govinda Mandir Hare Krishna Center. You read that right this is a place for Hare Krishnas to assemble. Yes, the same ones from the move “Airplane” who sold the flowers in the airport. They wear the robes, have the bald heads and are as friendly as ever and I am so glad they are near by. Same thing goes for different cultures. I love getting into a cab/uber and ask my driver where they are from and then ask; “Tell me about your country?” This is the equivalent as asking someone at BBQ Fest what makes your ribs/shoulder better than everyone else? Or ask them about their college football team. Seriously, lots of Pride and I love it. Now, If you think that everyone should be American, look the same and don’t accept that then maybe you want to stay home.
Don’t get Freaked Out When You see a Celebrity – All I had to do was text GrainbinGirl and my text read “I saw her, I saw him, they were tiny and didn’t cry like a little girl”. She knew that I saw Ina Garten and Jeffrey. I still laugh that my former Momma damn near knocked down Pierce Brosnan on Madison Avenue when we were walking down the street. I ‘casually’ said to him “Sorry Mr. Crown” and she didn’t believe it. So we had to hoof it down Madison Avenue for her to see for herself.
What do you think about the Weather and the Homeless/Bums? It gets bad here. Winters Suck, Nor’easters suck, and the rain blows to no end. Regarding the Homeless – I will say that Geranium has ridden the subways many a night solo and never felt threatened. The people looking for money can be annoying here but you have to know how to respond to them. I still love the guy who was in front of Grey’s Papaya on 86th and was begging for food because he was hungry. A guy asked him what he wanted from the menu and he declared that he didn’t like Hot Dogs & just wanted money (Failed to mention that Grey’s Papas was the hot dog nirvana) so the man fired back. “Then don’t fucking ask for money in front of a hot dog place, maybe go to a burger place or GFY” The bums do make a lot of money up here. Just be cautious.
Last Rule – Find “A Guy”. We have lived here for four years, we love it here. We have a great support system here, we are so thankful for this. And that system also knows that they can call on us. When you get home on a Friday night and are exhausted from the work week there is nothing better meeting up with friends and having a beer. We all work hard, might as well enjoy the fruits of our labor.
So we will finish the week with some final pictures from our week down in the Redneck Rivera. Like I said, we had a blast and we look forward to next years trip. I figure by then maybe Knuckleheads #1 & #2 will be able to fetch Uncle Robo and Uncle RJ some cold pops! Captain can you start teaching the kids how to make Painkillers for next year.
Next week we will return to normal NYC Shenanigans. One should always get out of the city for a couple of days. We had fun with all of these jokers.