Professor and Bobcat

How many of you can say that you had an Air Show Come To You?

Let me be very clear right now Folks – This is not an invitation for a Debate on the use of a recruiting tool flying over my city rather than spending the money on COVID-19 funds. I don’t have time for this. Pro or Con you will get deleted. This is about a salute to the front line healthcare employees who are saving lives. Furthermore it’s about people being stuck in 500 square foot apartment for 40+ days and the sheer joy we had for about 40 minutes yesterday and it was a welcome distraction. Sorry for the early on Come-a-part but I have seen a bunch of these debates going on social media. *steps off his anticipated soap box*

Back Story – I have been associated with two airshows when I was in Memphis. Long hours and your neck gets sore from starting up in the air. Two years ago we went to Jones Beach with the Murphranks and saw an airshow from the beach. God that was cool and the Blue Angels killed it. Sitting on the beach with a drink in your hand watching it is really the way to go. Last year we couldn’t go because someone had to recover from a boob job. I kid because I am glad she is around but seriously Karen….

So on Monday around 10:15AM I get a message from Professor about an airshow all over New York and New Jersey. I am thinking that from our vantage point in Downtown Brooklyn we could possibly see them twice.

I decided to go live on Instagram Stories and post this. I mean, I watch people’s stuff all the time and maybe I can give something back. I messaged my Work Wife (the International one) and asked if she would want to show her view from Hoboken New Jersey. We did a joint call and it was cool having two perspectives.

She was in and it was very helpful because I found out that it is pretty hard doing a live stream with nobody talking back to you. Shout out to those who got on and those who saw the feed. S/O to Atlanta, Memphis, Lyon France, San Pedro, Florida, New Jersey, New York and all others. The feed is still active until 12:40PM Eastern Standard Time today.

Here are some pics from Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister. They watched it from their rooftop. I told them that in 40+ days I was never so jealous of them and (Calm your tits, we ain’t doing it folks) wanted to come see them and watch together. But that is irresponsible and selfish because other people live in that building so we stayed home.

I could be a male version of Anne Burrell
Shout out to the Work Wife (the international one) for agreeing to do this with me.
Hard to Tell but she and I both have them in our screens but from two different states and across 2 rivers.

Photo Credit by Mr. 3 First Names who I bet was just like me – A Kid in the Candy Store during all of this!
Mr. 3 First Names (this is the outbound flight to Long Island)
Outbound to Long Island and to see Homeless Tim in CT.
Coming back from CT and about to finish. The Building with half glass/half brick with the birdcage on the right side (That is our building)
So Fucking Cool! They were spraying Lysol on all of us by the way!
BobCat and Professor got married here. This may be a duplicate.
Watched my own feed. I say Shit a lot but I am kinda happy with what I put down there.
Again it was a great day and watching this from the 38th floor helps with neck strain.

Shout out to all you COVID-19 front line healthcare responders. Thank you for what you do. We are going to get through this. We are doing our part. We are staying home.

We Are NY Tough

I was standing outside waiting on the dog to pee Thursday morning and I felt a subway rumble under the sidewalk and it almost startled me. I hadn’t seen a subway platform for over 28 days. From my “office” I can see the B & Q train on occasion going over the Manhattan Bridge but that’s it. We are now 26 days in lockdown and I am starting to forget the little things that make this city so great. The things that normal people skeeve that are just part of life for New Yorkers.

So there is a video clip that someone made of Cuomo’s speech. I encourage you to go seek it out. It is titled “NY Tough” grab a tissue it will put a tear in your eye.

There are two parts that really hit home. “You have to be smart to make it in New York The Second part is equally strong “And because we are New York Tough. We are tough, you have to be tough. This place makes tough. But it makes you tough in a good way. We are going to make it because I love New York. And I love New York. Because New York loves me. New York loves all of you. Black and White, Brown and Asian, Short and Tall, gay and straight. New York loves everyone. That is why I love new York.” Incidentally Maria informed me that I got my New York Pin so I guess I got that going for me.

So I put on my reporter hat and asked a bunch of my fellow New Yorkers (via email, text, Instagram) a question – “Once we get out of this what is the one thing you are going to do?” I will start off;

  • Carbunkle Trumpet – I plan on sitting with the old Chooch’s at the Cigar Inn on Second Avenue and smoke an Arturo Fuente Opus X ($75 a stick) hell I may smoke two of them at the same time! I might even debate the Chooch’s about Trump. (highly discouraged as they are all red hat wearers)
  • The Notorious N “M’effin” G – Make a reservation at Carbone and have every single person I have ever met over to my apartment to pre-game.
  • The work wife (The international one) – I am going to day drink by the pool or beach with no social distancing and then go out to eat every night for weeks because I am already tired of cooking every single meal.
  • My Cubical Roomate in the West Village – See my friends and do whatever we can as a group. Oh and join you on Second Avenue too!
I recall a baseball game right after 9/11 and they showed the back of the camera and it had this sticker. This is my iPad stand I put that sticker on it on Friday March 13th. That is the last day that New York was normal.
  • My Haitian Brother from another Mother not wishing to be from PA – Talking to everyone on the Train at Grand Central and having lunch with my work brothers and sister at Sophies and Blue Smoke and drive the kids to school. (he has 2 young ones and a wife that works in a medical lab – make sure you pour one for him)
  • Tarheel M(squared) – Drink an overpriced iced latte on my way to boozy brunch in the East Village then day drinking all day!
  • Shawneen from Middle Village – I am going to visit my family and hug and kiss them with no fear!
  • M(Squared) the former work wife (the domestic one) – Response pending
  • The Cruise Queen – Going to a nice restaurant after I get my hair done.
  • Geranium’s Work Wife – I am going to head down to Paddy McGown’s Pub drink buckets of Busch Light cans with friends and sing along (way out of key) to all our favorite songs on Touch Tunes.
  • Don Bruni – I am going to hop on a plane and hit an island somewhere. Work phone in a lock box in my bedroom.
  • The Credit Queen – I am going to NEVER again get pressured into buying ginormous amounts of toilet paper. Drink more prosecco, pay attention – really pay attention at Mass.
  • Bikinisareforever – Yankees Game
  • Asian Fireman – Going to the Rambling House for a proper pint of Guinness.
Rush hour on the Manhattan Bridge – Yep that is a FedEx Truck
  • AB the LSU Tiger Fan – Go to Nat Sherman for 2 Metropolitan Host Maduro Hyde and smoke it in Bryant Park while enjoying a few 24oz Ice Cold Corona Mortar shells and polish off a few dirty dishwater dogs. YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR HIS ACCENT WHEN YOU READ THIS.
  • Bobcat – Peter Lugar Steakhouse in Brooklyn and see her sister
  • The Professor – Swing by 773 Dive Bar, Palace Dive Bar, Connie O’s Dive Bar and Call Box (yep you guessed it another dive bar)
  • Homeless Tim – Fried Chicken at TAK Room and sit down and eat it properly. *he got that for Takeout when he fled the city for CT*
  • Lady Barrister Murphrank – Commissioner, Fausto, Osteria Morini (Italian Joint in the City) as that was the last place she ate before the city went on pause.
  • Mr 3 First Names – A repeat Trip up 5th Avenue (its a FDNY Pipe’s and Drums band thing)
  • AV The Russian – Take the subway anywhere and have a nice boozy brunch outside at a restaurant while touching every single person I see.
  • AV’s Momma – After I give my daughter an unending hug and shed some tears, Ima getting a huge juicy burger and eat it down by Battery Park across from the Statue of Liberty. I LOVE THIS ONE
  • Flynn Shady – Drinks at Down The Hatch in Greenwich Village and a slice of pizza at Joe’s,
  • PC the Memphis Fan – Queens Comfort in Astoria and get rousingly drunk at hip hop brunch then walk it off along the East River.
I don’t know what scares me more. That Z(squared) will get one of these guys if they are having a bad day. Or I will get one of them if we are having a bad day. I am kidding because no mater what they still have to go into work. God Bless you Boys!
  • The Cousin – A Bouie UES Brunch at Penrose with my girls!!!!!!
  • UWS Holly – Well it won’t be ‘go see Hamilton’ because her tickets are for May 30th. She will go to the 105th street dog run with the Ellington in the park outdoor café.
  • Maria – Bloody steak at Peter Lugar in Brooklyn
  • Gumata Jennie – Joining Maria for that Steak
  • Rhino – A great meal from Maria and Inga
  • LJZ – Stupid Expensive Cocktails on the roof of the Peninsula then sipping champagne at Tiffany’s with her personal shopper.
  • F from Z(squared) – Playing Dominos at the Ear Inn and drinks at Oceana.
  • JP on the Island of Long – Head to the Gym then Beach. I’ll be in a NY state of Mind.
  • Tay-Tay – Mani/Pedi, then a Swedish Massage and flying down to Florida ASAP for the Big 3-0!
  • Vivian Longstreet – Raoul’s – having a martini at the bar served by Franko then I’m having dinner in a booth. I will start with 6 raw oysters, then steak au Poivre and finally the profiteroles.
Asshole to Elbow getting a pic of Manhattanedge
  • Ty Middelton – Go to my Tailor and pick up the Rick Owens Suit I had altered. Then head over to Caviar Russe for Vodka and Caviar.
  • Ty Webb on The Price is Right – Response Pending
  • Name Withheld to protect the innocent – JG Mellon’s in the UES for a bloody Mary, Bowl of Chili and a Burger.
  • The Bartender – I am going to hug the F Train!
  • San Pedro Scoop – Murray’s Bagels for a Sesame with Lox or Maple Walnut Cream Cheese naturally Untoasted
  • Brizzyc – Wants to go to Kettle of Fish for a Packers Game! I miss being with FANS!
  • Grantmeaccess – Anything to do with Beer!
  • Mary Louise Geranium – Find a Gospel Brunch and ride the Q Train into the city to see her chiropractor.
  • Steve from Flushing – Aquaduct and then maybe Belmont.
  • The Bookie – I am going to go to one of my favorite Alphabet City Dive Bars, walk in the men’s room and if it doesn’t smell like it used to I am going to be pissed!
  • QBall from Tudor City – I am going to Old Town Tavern sit at the bar and bitch to John (the Bartender) about how the Mets completely fucking Suck!
  • Kate the Dog Sitter – I am going to my favorite restaurant Coppola’s with my grandma!
  • Constantine – “I am going to walk into Mt. Sinai hospital and I am going to hug every nurse, doctor and employee”
  • Mr. Clean – I am going to cherish the following 6 words – “Stand Clear Of The Closing Doors!”
  • DRS (Former Work Momma) – I plan on seeing my mother, and head to the beach.
I miss the old Normal

Thanks to all those who played along. I had fun putting this out.

The Decade in Review

I know that this post is a couple of weeks late. I have been kinda busy and add to that Geranium has been working at my creative desk…….#herfault

So I started jotting down all the events that have occurred in the past 10 years. I was filling up a Legal Pad I realized HOLY FUCK! We have done some major shit in the past 10 years.

Without further adeau and in no certain order are some highlights, difficulties, not so great moments. I look back on this list and I see things that have defined us. I chose that certain quote about the windshield vs rear view mirror for a reason. Without further adeau;

  • CBT was “fun-employed” for a bit – Let me tell you there really isn’t much fun in that. Mind you it was 10 years ago but as I look back it was the greatest thing that happened to me. I will elaborate on this later.
  • CBT became a Carnie for Memphis in May and lived to tell about it. I tell people up here what I did that spring they still can’t believe it. It taught me a lot. Most importantly I learned that one should always have a nickname and periodically yell “Go For Robo” when answering a call.
  • Geranium went back to cleaning bedpans. I joke when I say that she was asked to come back after she came down to the river and hung out with me as a carnie. That was true by the way. This also was a good thing for our progressive movement.
  • CBT went to work for AMF/HW. Yep I needed to get off the streets and I found a little nitch for myself and we made a little money and had some fun too. In all seriousness God Bless Ernie and Lynn Mellor for taking a chance on me. I will always be in your debt.
  • English Mike/Claire, RJ/Mal-O-Rie, & Mr. 3 First Names/VQ all got hitched in the past decade. What is important about this stat is that we now have a full basketball team roster of kids. More kids to help us when we get older.
  • Geranium got diagnosed and Then kicked the ever loving Fuck out of Cancer. Let me just say that not all superheroes get to wear capes. Since then we sadly have some friends of ours join this club too. This also defined us and put things in perspective.
  • Geranium decides to not only get an Undergrad but then a Masters in Bed Pan Cleaning. I have told her that there is no reason for her to go get her Doctorate or Juris Doctorate. Her ass is done with text books.
  • Carbunkle Trumpet completed his first and only 1/2 Marathon. Again, if my knees could bend backwards I would kick my own ass.
  • After many years of owning a bar in South Bluffs we pulled off a Ponzi Scheme and moved to the core of Downtown Memphis. Yep we had to get RJ/Mal-O-Rie’s house sold, then they bought ours and we got the condo. God Bless Ponzi Scheme Pawn JL for believing a bunch of strangers at the pool that one day. *Disclaimer – I don’t have good nickname for her so this will work till I come up with one*
  • Geranium gets her a Job in New York City! What can I say, we like it up here. We probably are going to stay for a little more while. Anyway we haven’t seen all the dive bars in all 5 boroughs.
  • I get a job seeing Double Decker Bus Tickets to Tourists. Ironic that I had to move to New York to get this job.
  • New Job (again) for Geranium – She left cleaning those bed pans to working for a company that would make the cleaning solution for the pans.
  • Move from the UES to Crime-Free Brooklyn – Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for Maria we may still be unboxing those damned boxes. Moving in New York sucks!
  • Stamps are getting put on our Passports – Truth be told we chose to move to New York so that we could take advantage of cheaper and direct flights to foreign lands. We really have enjoyed this.

We look back for a moment and are very grateful for our past experiences. Some of those experiences without a doubt has made us move forward.

Always look forward folks, always forward.

2019 in Review – What Did We Do Again?

On the back of the door in our apartment we have one of those old school calendars. We use it for scheduling shit and to make sure that we keep the dog alive with our schedules. I took a look at it this morning as I was getting the Black Eyed Peas and Greens on the stove and here is what we had to show for with Trips;

  • Geranium was away 151 days in 2019. Mind you 31 of those days were when she was in Switzerland/France. That actually made us both appreciate our time together more and take stock in our relationship which made it stronger.
  • We saw Elton John and his Farewell Tour at The Barclays
  • Got to experience The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. That was a killer event.
  • While Geranium was away Mr. 3 First Names & Lady Lawyer and I went to see Jose Andres at his book signing.
  • Got our Southern Redneck on thanks to BK and saw Hank Jr and Skynrd at Forrest Hills.
  • Rang in the New Year at the Barclays Center with The Strokes.
  • Oh and we had dinner at Per Se too.
  • And so that I am not a complete prick I am going to end this list that we also did some horse gambling at Aquaduct Race Track.

Regarding Trips Away, I am kind of embarrassed to divulge this to you dozen readers. I mean this list is somewhat obscene. Mind you we were able to take advantage of Geranium’s international trips and my ability to fly stand by.

  • Hung with PNG Mike, Ellie & JD in London and watched 6 Nations Rugby with them.
  • Visited Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas
  • Made a trip Upstate with Vivian and Stone
  • Made warm weather trips to; Cancun, Belize, Fort Meyers, Gulf Shores, and Dale Hollow Lake.
  • Went over to Philly for a BBQ at Pepe’s house.
  • Got to experience Barcelona for the First Time. (Got to go back)
  • I did 48 hours in Switzerland to see Geranium and imagine that..it was raining!
  • Made it to Memphis for Thanksgiving and for a work trip in September.
  • Got to eat some low country cooking with the ChoHo’s in Charleston South Carolina.

All in all it was a good year for us for doing the fun shit. Granted I wondered why our bank account has been low but now I know why I haven’t been able to see my feet in months.

Photo by Toria of Blue Water Grill down in Belize
Charleston South Carolina with these two!
Thank God Geranium is Fluent in how to Speak Randy!
We got to go back one of these day!
I booked a whole week with these knuckleheads and I loved every minute of it!
I love this man!
Lausanne Switzerland and the snow topped alps
The rain does happen in Spain!
Oh Maya had a blast while we were away too!
Thanks Viv and Stone!
Rain in London….how odd

It was a good time for trips and shit that we saw in 2019.

Per Se 4.0

Hello, my name is Carbunkle Trumpet. I am one of those Food Snobs that you read about who travel the world eating endangered or banned species. Relax Francis…we weren’t eating the banned French Ortolans like they ate on the show Billions. Confession – I may have enjoyed the fuck out of my Fois Gras but was still legal to consume as of the 22nd of December. What makes the last Saturday before Christmas so great? The service, the wine pairings, the food, and the overall experience are top notch but it is the company that sits at the table that makes it so special.

Back story – if you are just stumbling on this blog and the Per Se part of it let me recap for you. Homeless Tim and a group of barristers about 12 years ago started having an annual dinner at Thomas Keller’s 3 Micheline Star restaurant on Columbus Circle named Per Se. Keller also has French Laundry on the west coast and TAK Room here in Hudson Yards but Per Se is considered one of the pillars of gastronomical dining here in New York. When we moved her we got the chance to dine at Le Bernardin with Baby Fine Hair and her mother the first month of living here. Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister inquired if we like fine dining. We told them yes and they said they would see if they could extend an invite to us for their Christmas dinner group. We didn’t’ really think much about it as this conversation was going on over drinks in Lower Manhattan and as you can guess…..alcohol was being consumed.

So in December of 2015 we attended our first Per Se Dinner along with Asian Fireman and V.Q. (She gets the full title retired since we didn’t have a repeat this year) and a cast of others. We attended every year except for 2 years back due to a scheduling issue but it wasn’t until this year that I really took stock in the table.

The crux of the Christmas Dinner Cast are; Homeless Tim who is the scheduling /’knows the guy’ to get us the primo table. Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister, you may have heard me speak of them before. Then you have the Asian Fireman/Grey Suit guy and his wife V.P.. But let’s not forget Bobcat (another barrister) and her husband the Professor. Then you throw in Geranium and myself and you have a unique dinner experience. Oh we had some dessert guests joining us later but more on that later.

This year we were celebrating not only Christmas but we were celebrating someone who kicked the shit out of cancer. As we were siting there, by the way, this dinner took 6 hours from start to finish. I really enjoyed the conversation and what I call “peeling the onion” with the different cast of characters at the table. I could try to explain but I know I can’t do it justice.

Put it this way; how can you explain the conversation dynamics of the table with someone who is a high School history teacher, a person who has been sober for 25 years and yet still enjoys our conversation while we get loose tonged during the course of the night. There is a couple who have 3 knuckleheads at home, meanwhile the other 3 couples only have 4 legged kids at their homes and don’t know what it means to have kids banging on their heads with a Stage 4 Hangover. And then there is that guy who hates white wine.

Again, I am going to stop and put up some pictures so Iuka Mississippi’s own can shame me for posting food pictures.

I mean we get our own menu for this gig.
Total Menu with the different courses and supplements.
Grey Suit Guy didn’t have any white wines on his list
Oysters and Pearls – If Keller ever takes it off the menu….. Travesty
Egg and Black Truffle Ragu. It is a labor of love to make this dish that you consume in less than 5 minutes.
Per Se’s General Manager, Sandra Schaeuffele, one year brought out the egg topping machine and raw egg for us to try to whack off the top. Bobcat got to do it last year but this year was my time. No pressure at all. By the way that was a great Sherry they were serving me for the next course. Notice the attention to detail that they do while my fumbling ass is about to make scrambled eggs.
I did ok! Carbunkle for the Win! Thanks Sandra for the pre-cut egg!
No lies were being told at the table.
You know what Bill – F you! I am going to have Fois Gras after your silly ban! This was the Fois course but notice the casing for the forced goose liver.
And I wondered why my Sodium was sky high on the following Tuesday.
Entrée Course
You can’t steal them either!
Chocolate Course – I went with the Dark & Stormy They are made in house
But now I know how they can tell what is what.
Pastry Chef Anna Bolz made this for our dinner. English Fruit Cake but all of that on top was edible.
I am always interested in what quote is on “The Pass” in the kitchen.

Like I said, the meal, the wine, the service is over the top but the folks at the table make it all the better. Honestly – I would be ok if Homeless Tim one day called and said that he got our Christmas Dinner at Waffle House. Sure I would be disappointed but knowing the cast of folks at the table and I would be ok with that.

Again, Thank you to Tim, Jess & Dan for the invite.

A Trip To Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn

Back in February The Professor mentioned possibly field trip to The Tamaqua when it got warm. A few weeks ago when we were enjoying the roof deck in Park Slope Mr. Three First Names reminded us that we should make a trip to The Tamaqua. Since I had no idea what I was in for, I was all in. So we planed the trip this past Sunday.

Folks, I have visited some unbelievable Dive Bars here in New York. Milano’s Bar, Hanks Bar (when it was still open), The Ice House in Red Hook, Franks Lounge in Fort Greene, Farrells, Rudy’s with that Red Pig, and The Trailer Park Bar. All of these places hold a special place in my heart because they offer something that you can’t just buy or install. They are national treasures. Hold of to your hat folks. Here is where you are going to probably swallow your gum….

The Tamaqua could win the Title of the Best Dive Bar in New York.

I know, I know can you believe that I made that ballsy statement on a Tuesday? First off for me to properly describe The Tamaqua is going to be hard/damn near impossible. This place is stuck in a Time Machine. According to the Group it took a serious hit during Hurricane Sandy but yet she still sits there. Seriously as we were sitting there having some afternoon drinks one would not think that you are not in Brooklyn. You would think you are at Harbor Docks in Destin Florida or Tacky Jacks in Orange Beach, AL. For my Memphis folks who are coming up here in November we may have to make a trip there. You won’t believe it either!

The Doors are wide open because they don’t have AC. Remind anyone of Harpo’s?
Aww that is cute. But why is it listing to the right?
Lots of place to sit but they don’t have a kitchen or menu. The serve chips so maybe Maya will come next time. Nope
The put a clothes pin on your tab so it doesn’t blow away!
The Have a Pool Table. Shuffleboard, Dart and even some Poker Machines. God Bless this place
It is even ADA compliant and offers Wheel Chair Parking
Life is good at the Tamaqua

And no Maria, I am not losing my mind and no I don’t need a tetnus shot. Your Fancy NY @ss might not come here but it is good for a laugh. Thanks to Bobcat, Professor, Lady Barrister, Mr. 3 First Names for a fun afternoon.