Runners

If it is on the Internet then it must be true

I have had a couple of my readers call me out and say I was full of shit regarding the Cross Dressing Jogger from my¬†SWINGING POST earlier this week. First of all, I am not full of shit (stop laughing), I am always sincere (I said stop laughing) when I post things on the worthless dribble of a blog. (I will wait for you to go clean up your screen on your monitor or tablet b/c you blew coffee all over the screen.) Yesterday when Mrs. Trumpet and I were returning from having a drink going to church I asked Bobby the Doorman if the cross dressing jogger had been by yet. He said no but it was very close in the hour for him to jog by in his boudoir attire and running shoes. And you wonder why the doormen in our building love it when I come walking up, you don’t know what you are going to get.

We were speaking with one of the other doormen (Bobby’s English is so-so) and Freddy was telling us the cross dressing jogger’s story. “Elegant” Elliot Offen was a regular on the Howard Stern show till he got banned from the Sirius building in 2006 for punching a hole in the wall. He lives up in the Upper East Side and prefers to jog in attire that is traditionally not associated with road races. He has been known to be somewhat abrasive and has yelled at people while jogging. This sadly has also led to a couple of altercations with people and naturally the media calls it a hate crime. Freddy also told me that he speaks to Elliot from time to time and he is a stand up guy. Granted Freddy and I do admit that that Elliot’s outfit are on the racy for a reason. Hey everybody has got to work out don’t they?

IMG_1350You go Elegant Elliot! You go on with your bad self in your red satin nightie, green gloves, black elbow sleeves and eye black. Its a jungle out there on the streets of the Upper East Side.

Now before anyone starts dialing me up saying that I am casting aspersions on cross dressing or anything like that let me stop you right now. I love that I live in a city that if you want to put on an outfit like Elliot and it doesn’t break any laws or civil codes then by all means have at it. As long as he or anyone for that matter goes about their day and isn’t vulgar or offensive to young children then go get you some. Personally I have to give Elegant Elliot props;

  1. He is jogging in the worst part of the day when there are all kinds of heat advisories going on.
  2. The long hair in this humidity, I would be wearing that shit in a pony tail if I were in his Nikes.
  3. His choice of clothing may be considered strange but I bet he will be singing a different tune if he is wearing the associated crotch-less undergarments with that red teddy. Talk about some swamp ass!

I hope you have a good day and have a good weekend.

Advertisements

Marathon Prep for the TCS New York Marathon

Before we moved up here we were informed by our friend ML that we would be hosting the Marathon Party since we live on the Marathon route. A week before the marathon and I hear the doormen talking about how much of a pain in the ass it is living on the route. I was informed that once the joggers go by there is absolutely ZERO crossing the street to get to the west side of First Avenue. What does that mean to us? No Iggy’s for Sunday Funday or mass at St. Peters so I decided that I would try to drink ALL of the Bud Light in Manhattan on Marathon eve. Security is paramount during the Marathon so about 2 days prior to the race I noticed all of the trash cans went missing. Next was the mail boxes as they installed locks on the boxes. It wasn’t until the wee hours of the night that the bike rack went up and on race morning the police present was huge.

IMG_9429Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I get it that they are going to have a marathon on Sunday. At least I don’t have to go get my neighbor’s Christmas tree today.

nyc_map_1_0On Marathon Day we don’t live on First Avenue between 71st and 72nd, we live between mile 16 & 17

IMG_9435But where are we going to put the bag of poop from the Monkey Heads?

IMG_9434Kind of a pain in the ass if you have to mail a letter or mail a check

IMG_9436Bike Rack for miles

IMG_9438I asked what time the Sweep Bus would be coming by and they told me that the course closes at 7:30PM

IMG_9440Kinda cool to hear the crowd going crazy outside as they run by our building

IMG_9442

I am way too hungover to be going down there right now, I will go down after lunch to see the fat old white guys run by

As my friend Dick would say “Bunch of over achievers out there!”