SHOUT OUTS BABY!

“The Sure Thing” – No I am not talking about the 1985 John Cusack Movie

Incidentally did you know that this movie was one of the only few movies that John Cusack didn’t also work with his sister Joan? What you think that all I do is sprinkle the word “Fuck” and take half ass selfies? I have another side of me. I just can’t see it because I am too fucking fat.

Regarding the title of this worthless dribble I am referring to the the weather. I was on the phone with someone from the home office in Memphis yesterday. There were some issues with some Double Decker bus tickets that I sold last month and I was trying to get it handled. While we were waiting for her computer to finish the report we were talking about the weather. She said that it was raining in Memphis yesterday and I said of course it is raining. It is Memphis in May and it always rains during Memphis in May.

The person from the home office laughed and didn’t realize I used to live in Memphis. I told her that there are 3 times in Memphis when you could predict the weather;

  • The Hottest day of the year – Dead Elvis Week.
  • The Coldest day of the year – The Liberty Bowl Game
  • 100% Rain on a certain day – Any Memphis in May Event Day

Now I would like to add a 4th Sure Thing to that list;

  • Want to know when it will rain in New York – Just wait till Friday! It always rains in New York on Friday!

Enough words, here are some pictures from the past 2 weeks that have been in my iFoam.

So good to see Joyce a couple weeks back! I didn’t hear of any flooding at the Yale Club! We need to go back to Cozumel!
Meh.Com gave me a shout out and is now reading this worthless dribble
Speaking of BBQ Fest!
Go Netflix this movie. It is great! I saw it on one of my many flights.
Sunday was a nice day at La Playa
We may have drank some Gin Tonics here on Sunday
LVD – They sell Corn Dogs in Spain!
No that isn’t a urine sample. It is Lemoncello!
That damn Picasso sure didn’t paint much inside the frame did he?
The Shit you see in Barcelona!
Narrow Streets with little signage. It can drive one a tad crazy but that is why you drink wine
OTB we found your boat!
I don’t think that RAB reads this worthless dribble but who knew Picasso was a fan of Nuggets

Have a good week I am going to try to get over this sinus infection that I got from flying to the EU last weekend so I can do it all over again next weekend!

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Quick Trip to the Fun Side of the Wall – Spring Break Baby!

Not sure if some of you are aware but Geranium has left me, she has left the dog, and she temporarily no longer living in Downtown Brooklyn.

Well that should get a couple of bites on my social media accounts. Those jokers are now saying “Whisky Tango Foxtrot Paul Allen/Carbunkle Trumpet!” What the Fuck did you do now?

Relax gang, Mary Louise is over in Switzerland for a month getting her company ready for a Bed Pan launch. It is easier for her to already be in the EU instead of a bunch of trips back and forth from NYC. She has been gone now a week and I am not going to lie one bit….. I miss the shit out of her! The dog……she is missing her too.

When it was official that Mary Louise was to take this month long trip we decided that we needed to get away for a couple of days and have some ‘us’ time. While we were upstate last month, I challenged our Travel Agent to come up with a couple of good All Inclusive Resorts for us. We were booking this thing in the matter of weeks so we didn’t have time to shop, find a deal or even mess with it. Jerre Martin of Prosper Travel knocked it out of the park for us. She recommended a Secrets SilverSands (not sure why there isn’t a space but that is the way everyone spelled it) Riviera Adults Only Resort in Cancun that was perfect for us. Seriously, and I don’t normally give props to resorts but if you want a small all inclusive adult joint with a nice beach, pool, and great staff…..This is the place for you.

We left New York Friday evening and got into Cancun around 11PM. We got to our room and went to bed because we were so tired promptly to the bar and made up for lost time while were. We were there till Tuesday late afternoon and returned on the 19:30 flight to Newark from Cancun. The food was good, the drink was cold, they had Kettle One for me and a wine that Geranium enjoyed. Now here is where you are going to say that we are getting old.

The entertainment team at Secrets SilverSands Riveria is top notch! They made sure that if you didn’t want to be bothered, the left you alone. If you played in the pool, they made you feel welcome. And if you were like our old asses playing Bingo and Blackjack, they had fun with you! Seriously if you want to make a trip with just you and the spouse. we found the All Inclusive for you!

Me – “Señor ¿cómo se llama una cerveza y una margarity congelada juntos?”
Bartender – We call it an “Ernie Mellor” Sir!
Oh Great all you two did down there was just drink and take pictures at the bar….
Hey RJ – They carried Hillbilly Ale too!
Last Pic of booze I promise…….
Here is a pic of the resort I stole off the internet. I was a fun resort that wasn’t too big. 3 to 4 days and you have done it all!
This was cool! This is a simple end table with a marble top and the melted wine bottles on top of it for like 4 months. The build up was huge and really made the entry into the French Restaurant. I could do this! But probably not in Brooklyn.
I was really cool and made a great statement in the room
Some Asshole Left the Dominos in New York (thanks Maya, you packed me) so we had to find some in the gift shop.
Hey Blue Water Grill in Belize! I got you taken care of for those plates.
Here are some of those Cancer Causing Windmills.
Maya didn’t miss our asses one bit! Carla is great and she had more fun with her than we do.
Last Meal out of Cancun at Jimmy Buffet’s Bar.

Seriously, we had a blast down in Mexico and it was a fun trip before Mary Louise Geranium’s trip to Switzerland. Again our travel agent knocked it out of the park for us. I gave her a list of our wants (Good Beach, Adults Only, Don’t want to spend an arm & leg, and age appropriate guest list) and she gave us a great recommendation. More to come in these past trips.

Spring Break in the Big Apple

First of all I apologize for not posting for a couple of weeks. I have been up to my eyeballs with work, Geranium has been out of town, St. Patrick’s Day and its been tough to post. The past two weeks has been spring break for a bunch of schools. Rather than the beach some folks from Memphis and Northwest Arkansas made a trek to The Big Apple.

Now I was doing a bunch of work and with the St. Patrick’s Day weekend I wasn’t able to meet up with anybody. Then again does my former slinger of spirits and her high school daughter want to meet up with my boring ass or go see a Broadway show? Also in town celebrating spring break was my former roommate’s wife and college senior daughter with some friends. Lastly was one of my Twitter buddies since she was running the Brooklyn Half Marathon in ball shrinking temperatures.

I pride myself on being a fairly good tour guide to our various guests who have visited New York. I can show someone the grave of Hamilton and then in 20 minutes we are standing in the middle of Times Square watching all the tourists. Well these 3 different groups who came to NYC this past week you may want to ask them for their itineraries and or how the fuck they got tickets to some of the stuff they saw. I was impressed to say the least. Here is a short list of stuff that they did;

  • Rockefeller Center/St Patrick’s Cathedral
  • More Plays and Musicals that I care to think about.
  • Top of the Empire State Building
  • Good Morning America Taping
  • Ryan and Kelly Taping
  • Today Show
  • Brooklyn Bridge (I mean could one of you come over and took my dog out?)
  • Fearless Girl down in Fidi
  • Bunch of Pizza Joints

Here are some of the pics that they posted. Granted I didn’t get permission to post any individual person pictures but I was able to steal these pics that they posted. Still pretty cool that you can do all this stuff in a couple days.

Hey Look its My former Neighbor from the UES.
You know I have never seen this show on TV? I am more of Al Roker fan.
The Brooklyn Half Marathon being Run on St. Patrick’s Day
Another show that I hardly have ever seen.
I got to say this is pretty cool there Jen. Congrats and see you back up here in November.

Seriously you guys did a bunch of stuff this past weekend. I hope you guys had a blast.

Some Pictures of London

I have been remiss in posting these so here is a bonus Post Presidents Day entry for you 15 readers. We had a blast in London and hopefully we will be doing something like this again in the near future.

Regarding London, it was great seeing PNG Mike and Lady E as well as Lord Jimmy and his parents and seeing Vegas JD was a bonus too.

Had no idea that the Landlord has such a following here in London.
Parliament they seem to have some issues much like we do. To quote Jimmy’s father “Please don’t impeach Trump, if you do then we will be the only assholes with issues!”
I think that I have drank some Gin with picture of that fella on it
Sure you can always get a selfie of Buckingham Palace but can you get a bird to stop in mid flight for a Photo Bomb?
10 Downing Street or Number 10 depending on who says it.
Man I have smoked a bunch of this man’s cigars.
I know some people from Whitehall!
Hey Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliament….and Fucking Cold ass Rain!
Too bad we didn’t get to see Master A as we were told he is over 6 feet tall.
Driving on the other side of the street can confuse you

Oye Ceras, por favor, no te bajes la pierna. Es considerado grosero por los estándares de inglés.
I passed on the Ribs at Harrods
Always loved Peter O’Toole
As I have heard that the Angel of Darkness has fallen ill, I am wishing I saw this show while we were there.

It was a great time and we will be back!

CBT’s Take on the Fyre Festival

If you haven’t seen this documentary on either Netflix or on Hulu I would suggest you do so. Trust me when I say that if you thought you were having a bad day watching this will make your day fail in comparison to this shit show. The premise is that a guy from New York City conned a bunch of people out of a bunch of money for a something that people will talk about forever. Wait….just I just break my rule an discuss current event politics?

The founder of the Fyre Festival was a guy named Billy McFarland and he did indeed con a bunch of millennial’s out of a ton of money for a festival that never happened. What is funny is that while I was watching the show I couldn’t think about my former days at Memphis in May. Who would play who? Oh Come on guys and gals who knew me when I was working for Ops at MIM. Who do you think would have to give the Blow Job? What was the name of the runner who was a Vegetarian.

Anyway the festival never happened, and a bunch of kids got screwed out of their money. The Netflix version was obviously created by the Folks at Buzzfeed as they also tried to pawn themselves off as a victim too. The folks at Buzzfeed were also named in the multiple law suits so the Hulu version holds no punches. Seriously watch this documentary . You get a good laugh out of it and we all know that we can use a good laugh from time to time.

I mean they did have good intentions but it just never happened. That and they ran out of money.
The emails from the troops on the ground and in New York really doesn’t paint a good picture.
Beale Street Music when I was a Carnie. Earth Wind and Fire with Maurice in the red top. Great Show.
And of Course who couldn’t forget Jerry Lee! I worked 16 hour days on event days but the perks like this didn’t suck.
Puddle of Mud I think. The Crowd was into it!
The remains of the day after BSMF. Trust me that this doesn’t smell good.
John Graham to Country, can you bring a forklift to get my golfcart off of the Tornado Shelter?
Back to the Fyre Festival. This was the gourmet catering!
The Goldbond just kicked in.
So BK – Who do you think would be the one who would be sent to go suck D?


So if you are in need of a good laugh I suggest you should go watch the documentaries.

Let’s Recap Shall We? Trips and Food

We were really busy in 2018. I sit back and think about what all that we did last year I had to go to the calendar 4 times. I mean we were fucking busy in 2018. We went a bunch of places this year and that was even with Mary Louise doing all her shit this year. From her group final presentation for NYU, graduating from NYU, starting a new career, moving to Brooklyn, and not divorcing my ass we ate and traveled a bunch.

Made a trip to Belize to see our friends in February. We made a trip to Memphis to become God Parents for Willimena Esmerelda. We went to Bay Ridge Brooklyn for dinner a couple times. We made a trip Upstate to the Hudson Valley. We went to Philly a couple times, Baltimore for Crab, ML went to The Hamptons during the summer. Oh we also made a trip to Mexico with RJ, Mal-O-Rie, and Senorita JL. Went to St. Louis for Baby Fine Hair and Kristina’s wedding in the fall. The new stadium on campus and great friends made us visit Northwest Arkansas and then we made Memphis for Christmas.

Now here is where I am going to get some serious Fucking hate mail. We ate some serious good grub this past year. LeCoq Rico for a fancy Chicken dinner one night. Enjoyed some fine Swiss wines with the Muphranks along with some Raclette (think broiled half wheel) of cheese. We enjoyed one of Geoffrey Zakarian’s restaurants with our friend Tucker. Had an authentic Cheese Steak while we were in Philly (you know for the hangover) and it was good. For our anniversary we dined at Benjamin’s Steakhouse and the steak was good. And to finish out the holidays we of course ate at one of Thomas Keller’s joints in the Time Warner Center. I know that I am missing some places but I am going to end this because some folks may send me some more hate mail.

I love this woman! We have a lot in common and both being damn good looking is the beside the point.
Breakfast View in San Pedro Town Belize
Ironic that when we lived in Memphis we weren’t too far from the Forum. Now in Brooklyn we aren’t too far from this sucker.
Bad Lighting on Mary Louise but this is her the morning of her graduation. And let the record show that I will punch her in the dick if she goes for her Doctorate.
On the way up the Hudson River to see Vivian and Stone
Crab is good
That kid is going to break hearts I tell you!
No lies being told here at all!
That kid is going to be something I tell you!
Who loves some broiled Cheese
Trust me this is some good shit right here!
This be our new joint by the way!
Me and the Bride at her wedding!
Who doesn’t love some good Pastrami from Katz’s
Shrimp Sticks from Blue Water Grill in Belize. This is worth the Fucking Trip to Belize in the middle of a Hurricane and twice on Sunday.
Boy did this picture get some traction in Memphis.
Don’t laugh folks this is some good shit here!

At least I didn’t post any more pictures of dinner from Per Se.

Pictures of the Week

Man I took some serious hell from some of you guys for having a fancy dinner last weekend. Guess I need to step up my game and have dinner at Eleven Madison Park and REALLY piss you off. Anyway here are some pictures from last week.

This is Hockey – They play it here in the North East
Had to break out the warm coat last week
Merry Christmas Chloe! Hope you have a wonderful Holiday!
If anyone is missing a Nose Ring it was on the G Train
Love you too Nova! Fun going down Memory (Front Street) in Belize
Mary Louise is now Boujie when she sits in the First Class seats
Got me a burger on Thursday!
Nunchucks are legal in New York City. Who wants some?
Maya is ready for Mary Louise to come home

Next week we will be busy with travels to Memphis and then back.

It takes one to know one

So I have taken a couple “GFY” text messages from friends of mine for my post about having dinner this past Saturday Dinner at Per Se. Yes it is a special occasion and again, we are very lucky to have such good friends. From the moment you walk into that joint you know that you are going to have a wonderful experience.

I have already discussed the food and if I did it again then I know for a fact I would get some serious GFY text messages from GrainBin Girl and some others. Rather than that, I here are some pictures of the kitchen and the back of the house. Trust me when I say that these guys and gals do it right.

The Famed Doors of Per Se
Above the door leading into the dining room It reads: Finesse – Refinement and Delicacy of performance, execution or artisanship”
On the Screen is the Closed Circuit TV of French Laundry the sister restaurant on the Left Coast
Today’s Menu and staff notes for both French Laundry and Per Se. They said there would be a Vaping Queen at the 6:30 seating at Per Se
French Laundry was serving Slop last Saturday
The Famed Per Se “Pass” where many a tribute has been given. Probably the Bourdain and tribute hurt the most.
The remaining desserts for the later service
Nothing to see here Homeless Tim – These are the White Truffle Boxes
Don’t worry, we have a couple FDNY boys at the table and only 3 Attorneys who specialize in personal injury cases
The do win a couple awards here

Sorry if I am being hated by some. It is tough being at the top!

The Week in Pictures – Marathon, Fi’s Birthday Party, & Dog Abuse

I have a couple of posts that I am working on so I will probably share them with you next week. Next week Mary Louise is ‘again’ leaving my ass. What does that mean for me and the dog? Couch time and farting in my BVD’s.

IMG_4573Whomever did this is my hero. This is perfect Ina and Jeffrey.

IMG_4556Hello A.S.P.C.A. I have a compliant to file

IMG_4593Good to know that we live on Mile 8 of the Marathon. We still miss living in the UES on Marathon day. Trust me when I say it is electric

IMG_4596Thunder Alley is so great. Come off of the Ed Koch Bridge where it is quiet and cold and experience Thousands lined up on 1st Ave and its loud! So much Fun!

IMG_4600Poor Lightbulb (his nickname was already in place before he was born) done burned out at the party.

IMG_4602Fi &  C-Man watching “The Wizard of Oz”

IMG_4603Not sure if this practice was taught by The Asian Fireman or the Asian Real Estate Rep.  Anyway that was a virgin Mimosa aka straight OJ.

Supposed to be cold as balls this weekend. Time to break out the Canadian Goose Coat.