Moving Day! Man I would rather take one to the Cods with a Louisville Slugger than do this. But we have already given the new place on 37th St some money and the movers are inbound in 2 about hours Let’s Do It!
So in 5 years we have moved 3 times. Crap there are people I know who haven’t moved 3 times in 50 years. If there is a good thing about moving intra New York is that a tiny part of it breaks off and becomes a part of you. My former DSM of mine was amazed how many New Yorkers I knew in the short time we lived here. I mean its no secret that we are friendly people, and friendly people gravitate to the same.
What sucks that with us moving back to Manhattan is that we won’t see some friends that we have met since living here on Schermerhorn and Nevins. Let me explain.
You have all heard of the normal cast of characters, Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, Lady Barrister, ect but when we lived in the UES we met a wonderful soul named BikinisareForever. She was the purveyor of spirits for us and we became friends. When we moved to Brooklyn we would make it a point to go see her from time to time. At Christmas she went to a new bar and we were making plans to go see her again then March 13th happened. During this Pandemic we really have kind of bonded with Bikinis. She is now Reader #22 of this worthless dribble and since we are now both on the west side we are planning a social distancing trip to the park.
So Meet Stephanie. She is the owner of Wright & Goebel Wine and Spirits and a great person. She always loves it when I bring in Maya to get abused and skidded across the concrete floor to her. As expected she is top notch at making wine selections because we all know Geranium isn’t a fan of butter chardonnays. She has an evolving selection so she teaches me something each time I come in. Actually a lot of the time it was “I am cooking this and she would say.” “You drink this.”
Stephanie was always asking when Geranium was going to be in town, you could tell she cared about the both of us. She also was always leaning her head out the door saying hello when we walked by. Lately during all of this we have really connected and when things clear up, we are having a drink together.
So (and I just realized there is a vicious pattern forming) now meet Brendan who owns The Commissioner. We first met him with the Murphranks as they found this bar and loved it and we were still living in the UES. What was remarkable is that Brendan can remember people’s names from the first go round. Sure enough when we came in to look at apartments we got Lady Lawyer to meet us here and damned if he didn’t remember our names.
Took my mother when she was in town 2 years ago for some dinner and sure enough he remembered my name and was as hospitable as ever. For those of you wondering The Commissioner is modeled after Whisky Tavern in Chinatown (Think Bardog but without the smoke) and its a great place.
But what makes The Commissioner a place where you want to visit is that Brendan and the staff make you feel like family. From little kids in the neighborhood to the NFL diehard fans we all got along. People make the establishment and Brendan gets that and that’s why we are going to miss our regular Sunday visits. But we will be back.
Thankfully both Stephanie and Brendan’s businesses are still going in this crazy times but I make it a point to frequent them because well, they are both are good damn people.
Yep, like I said Stephanie and Brendan, it’ not good bye. It’s Till Next Time. Thank you both for making Brooklyn a better place and for being good friends to Geranium and I. Ok and Maya too!
If you are not on the book of Face this entry is going to be somewhat of a boring post. You see many moons ago for lent one year I decided that I would give up good jokes and post each day a ‘dad’ joke. A number of years ago my friend Cindy V would also join in and it started as a contest on who could post the worst/groaner jokes. This year we started back on the jokes and then COVID-19 happened and we all had to shelter in place. Traditionally when Easter happens Cindy and I ease up and we stop polluting your timeline with our jokes. Well some of you messaged me and Cindy asking if we would press on. Then a couple of weeks Cindy had to go to the mainland for a couple days at the hospital. Personally I can’t believe that she got a boob job during the middle of a pandemic. But to each his own. While Cindy was away I had some of my friends fill in for her and post on her behalf.
Naturally some of my friends have inquired as to who in the bloody hell is Cindy V? I also have noticed some extra friend requests from people on the island. Since I am going to tag Cindy on this post we both took a question and Answer Survey.
So without Further Adieu I present Tink’s Mom.
Who are you – Cindy V. a.k.a. Tinker’s mum. Where were you born – Bournemouth in the UK. Where all have you lived – United Kingdom, Monaco, France, Egypt, Mexico, Belize
How many Different Countries have you visited in your lifetime – 37 – I had to get an alphabetical list up on google. Do you know how many times I got interrupted during that exercise? Where are you currently sheltering in place – North San Pedro, Belize. It’s hot, humid, remote and the power keeps cutting out.
Tell me about your family – The other half is The Commodore (that isn’t his real name even though he thinks it is). I have 2 geriatric monochromatic pets, Molly Polly the most evil old lady dog ever and a fat cat with half a tail called Basil. He was named after my favourite football player, Basile Boli. And a very tall 7.5 year old evil genius child – ask her to do her evil laugh, we’re not joking…. What do you do for a living – A lot. I exhaust my friends and family.
How did you meet Carbunkle Trumpet – Clueless but it probably involves Tacogirl. Most of the trouble in my life involves Tacogirl. Where would you rather be sheltering in place – In a pub.
This gets over and done with where are you first traveling – A quick check in with the family (UK and France) and then off to Asia. What is the one thing that you miss going through all of this – my savings.
What is the most powerful thing that you read, watched, or listened to during this – My daughter break her wrist really chuffing badly and watching her bravery and resilliance. She is a rock star but man can she scream really loudly. Toilet Paper Roll Over or Under – Who cares as long as there’s some close to hand.
We all have talked about our Secret Silly thing we have done during this Pandemic, spill it – I watched Tiger King. What is the one thing that you wish you could be eating and in their restaurant what is it? – Fresh artichoke carpaccio made by my brother, in the upper garden next to the pool in Peillon.
Who is the first person you are going to thank when you can – My friend D. Feathers (name changed) for giving us non-stop help when we ran dry of booze, when we broke our wrist, when we lacerated our foot (man can I scream really loudly too), when we were forced into another 2 week strict quarantine further to medevac, for bringing us shopping, for forcing her friend into being our gopher and standing in lines when we weren’t allowed to, and the rest, and the rest. She has ordered me to stop saying thank you or she’ll stop helping. Boxer, Brief, Granny Panties, Thong, or Commando – It’s too hot for any clothes let alone undies.
Who are you – John Robo/Carbunkle Trumpet
Where were you born – Hospital of course….Oh Memphis TN in hospital that is now part of St. Jude Children’s research hospital.
Where all have you lived – Memphis, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Downtown Memphis (It really is two different places) Upper East Side of Manhattan, Downtown Brooklyn and coming in July Hudson Yards back in Manhattan!
How many Different Countries have you visited in your lifetime – Well over 20
Where are you currently sheltering in place – Brooklyn New York. Not the most enviable place given the current environment but I can always now say that I am a New Yorker and I have lived through hell.
Tell me about your family – Wife is Geranium (that isn’t her real name but we go by alias’ here) we have a 7yo dog named Maya and we have an invisible child called “the little bastid” He is 17 and still in the 5th grade
What do you do for a living – I am an out of work stripper who drives the tour bus at Graceland (I am happily employed but I don’t talk business on this media)
How did you meet Cindy (Carbunkle Trumpet) – I think that I virtually met her when her and (Name Deleted) were living together with Molly the dog. They were friends with TacoGirl and (Name Deleted but the same name too) and were featured on her blog. We became friends on FB and then I think the first (in real life) met her when she was working the bar at Pedro’s. I think the bond that brought us together was when Geranium was going through her bump in the road with Breast Cancer. Cindy also was doing a bump in the road and we kind of felt like kindred spirits. When we started the Lenten Jokes it was tongue and cheek. Last year when Notre Dame in Paris burned, I asked Cindy (we were going into Holy Week and that is when I turn my jokes into somewhat tacky Catholic jokes) should we stop or pause. Her comment was “Press on! Churches are old and they burn! We shall Keep Going!”
Now we are going through a Pandemic and coming soon are Murder Hornets – Cindy are we the cause of all this shite?
Ok, now lets have some fun
Where would you rather be sheltering in place – If it were domestically I would say New York but with a bigger place and a place to smoke my cigars – Internationally I (stop it) I would be ok living in a big place in Belize with Cindy, Andrew, Mum and Tink with all of our dogs. At least I could spoil the ever loving shite out of Tink and teach her how to speak southern.
This gets over and done with where are you first traveling – I want to go see the clear canals of Venice before we F them up again.
What is the one thing that you miss going through all of this – Sitting in a Dive bar in the East Village and enjoying the smells of stale beer, bleach and urine from the bathroom.
What is the most powerful thing that you read, watched, or listened to during this – The Last Sunday of Jazz Fest WWOZ played past performances of artists. They re-played Bruce Springsteen when he did Jazz Fest following Hurricane Katrina. Then to double down they played The Neville Brothers on the Gentility Stage and Aaron Neville sang “Amazing Grace then 3 little birds”.
Toilet Paper Roll Over or Under – Always Over!
We all have talked about our Secret Silly thing we have done during this Pandemic, spill it – Yes I ironed my sheets and smoked a cigar in the middle of a Nor’Easter
What is the one thing that you wish you could be eating and in their restaurant what is it? – In Paris there is a French Bistro near the Eiffel Tower that has the best French Onion Soup I have ever had. Going there!
This answer is going to be different because thankfully the Pandemic didn’t hurt the Country of Belize as it did US (So Cindy feel free to change it up) – Who is the first person you are going to thank when you can – The frontline healthcare workers and the ones who came to New York to care for us. The ones who have to ride the subways scared to death. The ones who were just as scared as the patients they were caring for. I (and I doubt visitors will ever be allowed in hospitals again) am bringing food, drinks, flowers, bottles of Jameson to each one of them and hugging them and thanking them. I mean this is going to be to the point of Financial Uncomfortableness for me, they and the Police, Sanitation, Delivery Guys, Grocery Store folks, anyone who is Essential you are getting love from Robo! . Then I am going to sit my shrinking ass on the Canyon of Heroes with my Cowbell when we have the biggest Ticker Tape Parade For Them.
Ok So I can’t leave you with a Tear Jerker – Boxer, Brief, Granny Panties, Thong, or Commando – You first Cindy!
So I hope you had a good laugh and distraction. Thanks Cindy for playing along.
So when I posted a couple weeks ago (was it March or was it that long time in April, hell I can’t recall) about my ironing and starching of my bedding linen I got some looks. Not trying to call anyone out, Mrs. Otteralum, but I told this person that until you have slept on this then you can’t snicker at my secret pandemic behavior. Oh she is going to throat punch me when this is over. LULTU#1
Ty Middelton was correct, this is great therapy and it keeps me from drinking at 9AM on a Saturday.
So here is a brief tutorial on how to properly iron and starch your bed linens. Enjoy and smile because you are about to read a blog from a guy who blogged about ironing his bed linens. Oh and this is the Third time I have referenced ironing bed linens.
Let me know when you do this. I promise you will love it. Thanks Mrs. Otteralum for playing along.
Let me be very clear right now Folks – This is not an invitation for a Debate on the use of a recruiting tool flying over my city rather than spending the money on COVID-19 funds. I don’t have time for this. Pro or Con you will get deleted. This is about a salute to the front line healthcare employees who are saving lives. Furthermore it’s about people being stuck in 500 square foot apartment for 40+ days and the sheer joy we had for about 40 minutes yesterday and it was a welcome distraction. Sorry for the early on Come-a-part but I have seen a bunch of these debates going on social media. *steps off his anticipated soap box*
Back Story – I have been associated with two airshows when I was in Memphis. Long hours and your neck gets sore from starting up in the air. Two years ago we went to Jones Beach with the Murphranks and saw an airshow from the beach. God that was cool and the Blue Angels killed it. Sitting on the beach with a drink in your hand watching it is really the way to go. Last year we couldn’t go because someone had to recover from a boob job. I kid because I am glad she is around but seriously Karen….
So on Monday around 10:15AM I get a message from Professor about an airshow all over New York and New Jersey. I am thinking that from our vantage point in Downtown Brooklyn we could possibly see them twice.
I decided to go live on Instagram Stories and post this. I mean, I watch people’s stuff all the time and maybe I can give something back. I messaged my Work Wife (the International one) and asked if she would want to show her view from Hoboken New Jersey. We did a joint call and it was cool having two perspectives.
She was in and it was very helpful because I found out that it is pretty hard doing a live stream with nobody talking back to you. Shout out to those who got on and those who saw the feed. S/O to Atlanta, Memphis, Lyon France, San Pedro, Florida, New Jersey, New York and all others. The feed is still active until 12:40PM Eastern Standard Time today.
Here are some pics from Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister. They watched it from their rooftop. I told them that in 40+ days I was never so jealous of them and (Calm your tits, we ain’t doing it folks) wanted to come see them and watch together. But that is irresponsible and selfish because other people live in that building so we stayed home.
Shout out to all you COVID-19 front line healthcare responders. Thank you for what you do. We are going to get through this. We are doing our part. We are staying home.
Why is he starting out with a picture on his blog today? So that picture above was sent to me by Sweet Melissa the Bama fan who happened to be raised by LSU parents. Yeah, you try to figure that shit out.
I replied back to her – that I wished it was me because the last time I set foot in the borough of Manhattan was 43 days ago. I admit that I try to keep my Subway awareness sharp and repeat the subway stops from say Nevins to say Grand Central in my head. (Nevins, Borough Hall, Bowling Green, Wall, Fulton, Brooklyn Bridge – City Hall, Canal, 14St – Union Sq, Grand Central – 42nd)
This then led into a discussion of how NOLA residents were coping with not having the first week of Jazz Fest. I mean all the food, the culture, and the fun but thankfully WWOZ is streaming Jazz Fest on Alexa. The old neighbor (God I bet her recycling is off the charts right now) was informing us how she now pulls up to grocery stores and they load her groceries in the back of the car and she goes on her merry way. Same for Lowes and Crawfish runs for Sweet Melissa. Welcome to the new norm.
Ok I have tormented them enough. Please notice I didn’t anger the AGM/my old prom date. I don’t need a Pucci Ban right now, I got enough shit on my plate.
So yesterday we didn’t really feel like doing much. I let Geranium sleep in because, well she loves her some sleep. One of our goals during this is that we are trying to reduce our carbon footprint and also conserve food and reduce our waste. Recall that Post about our Fresh Direct FU? So we, on that order, got cut chicken and for some reason we got a head of broccoli.
We decided to make this Broccoli slaw recipe that Geranium makes and we both like. Sadly we needed a red onion, shredded cheese and carrots so we figured we would go this morning since it is shitty weather and yesterday was a nice day and the streets were packed. Yesterday I was taking Maya out and also swinging by Wright & Goebel to get some more rum that I ordered online. I ran into our 38th floor neighbor who was heading out. She asked if we needed anything from Brooklyn Fare so I took her up on getting those 3 items. What can I say, New Yorkers are getting pretty resourceful.
So what are your COVID-19 Hacks? I think I have mentioned that I am going stale here.
For Example – I heard if you clean your glasses with white foamy shaving cream it will help prevent them from fogging up. It actually works.
Shoot me a message and I will post them.
And thanks Sweet Melisa for letting me post your pictures. When this is over I am coming there and we are going to drink like its our JOB!
Man O Man The Murphrank’s, Professor, Bobcat, Homeless Tim, The Asian Fireman and Wife are going to be jealous of this post.
Those previously named are in The Per Se Christmas Dinner invited list that we thankfully make the cut each year. Don’t let the fancy dinner confuse them as all high fancy folk. I mean with the exception of Homeless Tim all of them can crush Bud Light like it is their job. Actually if my memory serves me correctly we did go crush Bud Lights after this past years dinner.
I have mentioned a couple times that we have always been a fan of the Grocery service Fresh Direct. A couple clicks of mouse and BOOM someone is delivering my groceries and doing the heavy lifting. You don’t understand what a pain carrying heavy stuff around without a car is up here. Put it this way grab an 18 pack of beer and a normal grocery store haul and try to walk that shit 8 blocks in a boat tote bag. Yeah, you get the picture.
Prior to COVID-19 we could get a delivery slot for the next day pretty easy. Now days they are sold out for the entire week. This does present a problem but we know a couple life hacks to get around this.
Always have a couple things in your shopping cart to meet the minimum order.
Make this like your Christmas Wish List – All the Proteins, all the drinks and don’t be shy. You may get shut out because of inventory is so wonky these days.
Don’t get all pissy if you get a sub. They are trying as hard as they can and if you are one of those who bitch. Bless. Your. Heart.
Check everyday multiple times to see if there are some open time slots. You always take the first available slot you can get and then you keep adding to the order. Typically you can make changes to the order up until 5PM the day before.
You Network the Fuck out of this – Maria keeps an eye on it and so do a couple other friends.
So last Saturday Maria shot us a text that Wednesday was wide open and we needed to grab a slot. Geranium was on the laptop and she threw 3 items to make the minimum and would modify that later. She picked Cold Water Lobster Tail, Bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label and a Ribeye Steak. (who is she trying to fucking impress, its just her, me and dog)
Saturday after I got done with my chores I went in to amend the order and I couldn’t find the order. Geranium has been known to struggle with this but I am well versed in doing this on my iPad. I was able to create an order and also secure a slot on Wednesday (4.22.2020 with a window of 6AM to 8AM) so I wasn’t too worried.
On Tuesday morning we were still messing with the order and Geranium realized that the original order was still showing in there so she zeroed out those items. Honestly – We have kind of grown used to things and apps acting strange given everyone is home on their devices.
I think you know where this is going…..
So the order I placed got delivered at 7AM and the ‘guy’ was appreciative of the healthy tip I put on the bill. I mean dude was carrying 6 X 12 packs of drinks and a case of 6X1Gallon Distilled Water. He deserves much more for doing this given the environment.
Then at 11AM our doorbell rings and Geranium receives the second order. It just has 3 items but cost as much as my larger order. I just hope it wasn’t the same guy.
Dinner was fantastic and doesn’t everyone eat Surf and Turf with expensive ass champagne on a Wednesday? LJZ is going to be pissed at me for not sharing the bubbles or the lobster!
And Just A Reminder – There Are No Rules in a Pandemic! If I Could Have Gotten White Truffles I Would Have Done So!
We had shit weather which we consider a blessing because it keeps people inside more. I decided to forgo my closet since we still have cooler weather and I am not ready to shed my warmer jackets and such. I decided that I would devote some time to our kitchen cabinets.
Easter Sunday Geranium spent a time trying to find her piping bags to make deviled eggs so I figured it was time to get that organized.
Like I said, it was some stellar shit we did on Saturday.
The other Day (I think it was Saturday) LJZ texted me saying that she was bored and thinking of opening a bottle of Rose. I told her that by her texting me at 6:32AM that she needed to go find chores and that she couldn’t start drinking till the Tall Pines Show that evening.
She asked what I was talking about so I sent her an Instagram Link that the husband wife combo called The Tall Pines was putting on another show that evening from their rooftop on the UWS. I also told her about DJ Mickey Perez was going on that evening. I have seen him spin at Robert Bar when we were allowed to go outside. Also booked that Saturday was one of my favorite singers from Losers Lounge, Leslie Goshko was playing her virtual Piano slot live from her apartment.
LJZ was enthralled as to why I know all this worthless stuff. I told her that the majority of those performers were from Losers Lounge shows. I am sure you have seen me post about them from the past. So in an effort to give you some value to this blog I am going to share with you what live virtual shows we enjoy and where you can find them.
DJ Bobby Smith (Facebook Live) – Good friend of mine who spins it old school from Club Corona. His camera person is his wife T and we love them both. Shows are always on Friday and in an effort not to F this up I encourage you go to his page and he will post the time.
Leslie Goshko (Facebook Live) – She will play on Sid’s Gold Piano Bar and she is a regular on the Losers Lounge Show. Her co-worker Tater (the cat) has been known to make a cameo. She plays on Saturday and I think Thursdays but go over to the Sid’s Gold Piano and they will push the info to you.
Heavy Light Show (I heart Radio – WDST – Radio Woodstock) this actually is a live radio show that goes on from 7pm to 10pm eastern. Ida the DJ really plays some good stuff. Give that a look too!
Joe McGinty (Facebook Live) – He is the owner and founder of Losers Lounge and co-owner of Sid’s Gold Piano Karaoke Bar in the East Village. He plays on Thursday’s from the Sid’s Gold page and it is nice to see him play a freaking baby grand piano!
Tall Pines (Instagram Live) – Husband wife team that plays from their roof. Connie is a back up dance on Losers Lounge and they put out some great music. Go like them and they can post when they are playing
DJ Mickey Perez – (Instagram Live) – Cuban Latin American music that is really cool since I have not a lot of exposure of it. Like him on Instagram and he will let you know.
Jason D. Williams (Facebook Live) – The one and the same Jason D. Williams who got his fame from playing the piano at Mallards in the Peabody Hotel. Like his page and he will let you know when he is playing. A must watch for my fellow New Yorkers.
Crazy Canucks Beach Bar Hermit Crab Races – (Facebook Live every Tuesday at 7PM Eastern Standard Time) – Put it this way, there are not words that I can describe this. Husband & Wife Team who do virtual Hermit Crab races and they take venmo to give to their staff. Do this and you can see a big man rocking a pair of Pink Crocks!
Saturday was a little heavy for us so we stayed in and didn’t really want to get on any of the chat apps. I watched some Insta Stories and one of my favorite nowadays is Michael Rappaport. He had posted a now viral post where he tells parents to keep their kids at home. Saturday he reposted a video of a bike messengers wearing Go-Pro’s going about their way in Manhattan. Talk about strange seeing everything void of people and cars. The name of it was “New York is Resting” and I encourage you to go find it. It is pretty neat stuff.
So on Sunday I was dispatched to go get Easter Beer and some items I couldn’t carry from my Grocery store trip. I decided I would walk down to the Duane Reade on Fulton Mall. Guess what? That location is now closed so I had to walk my ass down to Brooklyn Heights. I left out early in the morning so that I didn’t have that much interaction with people as I knew a lot were going to virtual Mass.
To say the streets are empty is an understatement. Check out my 20 block walk.
Right off the bat a big S/O to Reader #2 Chloe for calling my ass out in thinking that I got a haircut.
I had changed my FB profile picture Sunday night from Joe Walsh and the Easter Bunny back to my normal black & white picture. The picture was taken a couple years back when we were living in the UES. My hair wasn’t as ‘greying’ as it has been lately. We laughed it off but on a serious note. Prohibition style Beauty shop Speakeasys? How narcissistic and vain are some of you? Hope you don’t kill someone you love because you don’t want people to know you have dark roots?
Geranium and I had a standing reservation at Stone & Vivian’s house with Ty but COVID-19 screwed that day up for us. To keep some sense of normalcy Geranium informed me that we would have Easter Brunch like we used to host in Memphis and when EGP would come down.
She dispatched me to the store to get the 20 items. I nailed it and got them all except for Sister Shubert Rolls which they don’t carry at Brooklyn Fare. Actually they had all the items I have been getting shut out so it was a good Shopping day.
Honestly, carrying what I am guessing 40 pounds of groceries in 2 LL Bean Boat Tote Bags 7 blocks in a Mask By Bec Mask is a bitch. I may get one of those Full face Scuba masks because I bet I can breathe better in that thing.
So to celebrate we invited two of our neighbors to join in the Easter Brunch. We shared a meal with George’s Mum and K & J who also are on the 38th floor. But with a twist. More on that in a few.
So yeah, Happy Easter folks. And S/O to RAB for my yearly Easter/Passover Meme!