smoking in NYC

“I have made a huge mistake” or “I am going to finish this Mother Fucker!”

Sorry for the profanity right off the bat. Those were the two very different comments from Marathon Runners said to the Asian Fireman and I yesterday. Happy Marathon Sunday Folks! From what I learned yesterday there are two huge events in the UES that one should attend; St. Patrick’s Day and Marathon Sunday. The previous two Marathons were either spent in bed with MPH or last year when Ba and “The Lady Killer” came to town.

This year the Asian Fireman and I hung out on First Ave to cheer our friend Stuart who decided to fly across ‘the pond’ and pay good money to run in 5 boroughs. The weather was great for the runners this year. Well aside from the rain but it wasn’t too hot nor too cold. If you have never ran a marathon you probably won’t get what this post means. Hell I wogged (walked & jogged) the Memphis half Marathon about 5 years ago and I hated it. I couldn’t imagine doing 26 miles much less a 5K these days.

Regardless, there were a bunch of significances and noted stories for this year’s marathon. One was the retirement of Meb Keflezighi who is one of the most celebrated US long distance runners in history. Second was the return of Katherine Switzer who was the first woman to run in the Boston Marathon. If you don’t know who she is, go ahead and google her. She is pretty special with regards to women’s rights. Oh and she was running the NYC Marathon at age 71 years young. My 47 year old ass got tired standing there in the rain yesterday.

And finally we were there to celebrate our buddy Stuart who was running on behalf of the MacMillan Charity. Stuart did a fine job yesterday and finished the beast. Also running in the marathon was Jessie who was also a friend of Mrs. Trumpet and mine. Great Job gang! Hope you had a blast and enjoyed the ride!

IMG_2047To say that security was tight is an understatement. We were not allowed to cross the street starting at 8AM and the cops didn’t play.

IMG_2052Here come the ladies. The order of the race is; wheelchair, ladies elite, men’s elite, general masses X5

IMG_2053Blonde haired runner in the middle of the pic, yep that is Shalane Flanagan and she won the women’s elite!

IMG_2058To say that the women were running fast is an understatement.

IMG_2060One of the wheelchair marathoner’s

IMG_2063Here come the Men’s Elite division

IMG_2065Tight Pack of runners, how they didn’t knock into each other I will never understand.

IMG_2066There he is folks, 42 years old and running professionally. He finished 11th this year.

IMG_2068Meb had more press and security around him than anyone! I am glad to say that I saw him run by me at 8mph!

IMG_2084The rain was a pain in the ass but I was ok with the temps

IMG_2090Snapped this pic as to it seemed a strange outfit to run in. Then Katherine Switzer ran by. Obviously he was security, or maybe he liked running in jeans.

IMG_2091How one person can run and still talk is amazing to me. How one who is 70 years old and can finish a marathon is fucking amazing!

IMG_2092#261 was the bib she was wearing when the race organizer tried to remove it from her. Her boyfriend at the time hip checked the race official to the ground. In 1972 Women were allowed to run in Boston.

IMG_2094Lots of St Jude Hero Runners at the Marathon today. Shout out to my good friend Photo Nikki who did a flying trip this weekend to photograph them. I cheered each and everyone of them as they ran by. *Nikki – I hope we get to see you at Christmas!

IMG_2075There goes our friend Jessie in the Blue/Purple Top!

IMG_2102Here comes Stuart!

IMG_2103He doesn’t look like he has run 16 miles does he?

IMG_2106Dude, you are the hero, we are just two shmo’s standing in the rain smoking cigars!

IMG_2113After 2 hours of standing there when Stuart ran by the parade was coming to an end.

IMG_2115Here is the quitter bus. Trust me when I say that if I ever did decide to run this fucker I would be riding in this by the end of the race

IMG_2120 (1)And then there are these 2 assholes!

Congrats to all the runners and finishers!

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“You live the glamorous life in Gotham don’t you?”

I get that a lot from different people who don’t live here. Trust me when I say that our life isn’t always going to Dive Bars, eating at fancy places and driving around in a Rolls with our own driver. Well…..we do like Dive bars but scratch numbers two and three. Anyway here is what my ‘Typical’ Saturday looks like. Mind you I don’t have a car so all of these errands are done on foot and I have to lug this shit back to the apartment.

IMG_1835First I bang out any remaining work ish. That way I don’t have to worry about doing any of that on Sunday. I ‘try’ to get my stuff done during the week but stuff happens.

IMG_1840When I die, I want to come back as a Monkey Head. Tough life as they ‘struggle’ to survive on the mean streets of Manhattan. *the white dog is snoring like a freight train right now as I type this*

IMG_1843I became someone this week. When I hit the door the guys at the Coffee Inn know to get my Pumpkin Spice Latte ready. They also shine up their shoe to kick me square in the balls too!

IMG_1823I know that we have all the delivery services for groceries but every once in a while you just like to go squeeze the produce. Tomatoes are now out of season but I am still jonesing for BLT’s in October.

IMG_1824Looking North on First Avenue – That was the street that we saw the Pope by the way.

IMG_1827I had to swing by my physicians office to get my flu ‘shot’ *KLC Man and RMT – You see what I did there?*

IMG_1826There is Maria’s beloved Citi Bike station. Notice how it is empty. They can’t keep a bike up here in the UES. It was a great day on Saturday also.

IMG_1830Got to swing by and pick up my dry cleaning and say hello to Ms. Nguyen

IMG_1831This place is no bigger than a shoe box. They do laundry by the pound, offer dry cleaning and she does my alterations too

IMG_1828On this past Saturday Momma went all the way to Westchester county to Apple Pick but they had major logistical issues so she promptly came back. Roughly she spent 6 hours for nothing so I figure she could use some flowers. According to ‘my guy’ the flowers were good this week since the hurricanes are not stopping flights.

IMG_1825Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Hospital

IMG_1839Had to pick up some Paper Towels since we were on the last roll. *Insert President Joke here*

IMG_1833Trust me when I say that bag weighs roughly 40 pounds. You have to plan out your trip if you don’t want someone to lug your stuff for you.

IMG_1834Since it was 86 degrees this week, I had to have a suit cleaned since it was kind of ‘stinky’ I will be ready to start bitching about being cold soon!

IMG_1836Finally Some Carbunkle Trumpet Time!

Keep it light folks!

Memphians – Be careful what you wish for! #carbunkletrumpetcares

This post is for all of you who would bitch on Social Media about how Memphis should bury their electric lines underground rather than put on telephone poles. Shout out to a couple of you who asked if I was really dead because I hadn’t penned anything in a while. Ironic that my first post back from my 2 week hiatus is about something that could make me ‘join the choir invisible.”  Do you recall when I talked about the FIVE THINGS THAT CAN KILL YOU IN NYC well I seemed to have forgotten about one. What in the hell am I talking about here you wonder…….the ole NYC exploding Manhole cover. For those of you who do have power in Memphis let me explain what makes manhole covers explode in the summer.

New York is famous for putting everything underground; subway, electric, gas, fiber optics, dead bodies and sewer. As you can imagine with the street vibration both above and if you are lucky to live under the 4-5-6 line below will jostle things loose. Add rats chewing on electric lines, the salt and brine from the winter snow storms and you have some exposed power lines. Now that it is getting warmer in the city people are starting to use Gold Bond air conditioning more and the power demand is starting to spike and those cables below ground are starting to get warm. If you are one of those lucky tourists whom have ever gathered at the Times Square subway station you may have gotten a whiff of that wonderful NYC aroma. EDITORS NOTE – It is always funny to listen to tourists try to describe the smell they encounter at a subway station. Nobody has the heart to tell them that it is probably urine or poop.

So you have a brine soaked, overworked and frayed electric line below ground, you also have all kinds of gasses that are accumulating below ground and then there is a spark of electricity and BOOM! Thankfully the infrastructure below ground is pretty solid so at some point there has to be a relief valve or escape for this explosion. Hey is that a 90 pound manhole cover? Lets see how high we can blow that fucker into the air!! From what I understand there are some warning signs that New Yorker’s pay attention to. One is a manhole cover that is unusually warm or ‘hissing’. Yeah you want to stay the hell away from that joker, she can blow at anytime. Next is the manhole cover who is smoking like it spent Sunday at the Cigar Inn. You want to avoid that one at all cost because as they say, where there is smoke there is fire.

So last week I was heading over to pick up my dry cleaning and I notice one of those evil Bilco doors that was “catawampus” so I naturally took a picture of it and posted it on Instagram. As I head home I see the Engine 39 and Ladder 16 FDNY boys at the corner of 72nd and 1st Ave. I ask Pete what is up and he tells me that a Manhole cover exploded when an SUV was driving over it.  Naturally my first question was that everyone was ok and then asked if a pair of shorts was needed because the driver soiled his shorts.

IMG_1004That shiny building on the right. Yep that is Casa de Carbunkle! I texted Mr. 3 first names and the Asian Fireman to see if they were nearby. The answer was negative but as one of them told me “you should see when a manhole cover blows 30 feet in the air”

exploding-manhole-boomThis scares me that they actually have a graphic for this.

IMG_0972Con Ed Guys cutting out all the burned wire from the wiring harness. Smells like crap too!

IMG_0971No we are not electing a new pope this is to relieve the heat and pressure below

Taxi-Manhole-Explosion-NYCIt is all fun and games till a manhole cover blows and takes out a yellow cab.

 

Hope you have a good Monday and for those of you still without power at your home hang in there. I guess my readers who say that Memphis “should bury all their power lines” now may be rethinking that comments.

 

 

That is cute and everything but when is this shit going melt?

First and foremost, My hats off to KLC Man, Nova, Farmer Ted and anyone who lives in the ‘snow belt’. I now know what you go now through from October to June. Remember back last year when New York got the 30 Inches of Snow. What you didn’t know was that right after the snowstorm my ass headed to Memphis for 2 weeks so I didn’t have to deal with the aftermath. Do you know how much of a bitch it is to move around the city with snow that is piled up on the sidewalks? Trust me, it is a pain in the ass. And you are talking about someone who only has had to endure roughly 2 major snow storms since living up here.

Tuesday we got Snowstorm ‘Stella’ and it was supposed to be a snowstorm and a Nor’easter at the same time. The city prepared for it by cancelling school on Monday, announcing that exposed subway lines would be closed and the 3 airports cancelled flights like it was nobody’s business. Monday night the snow was to start and as we were walking the dogs on their evening Pee/Poop I kept telling them “enjoy that sidewalk, the shit is about to get real’ tomorrow. Thankfully Manhattan didn’t get the 18 inches it was supposed to get but we did get 9 inches of snow and ice. Hats off to NY Sanitation because with a travel ban they were able to get the main streets cleared and New York was able to get out of ‘limp’ mode fairly quickly. By the way ‘limp’ mode in New York would have been ‘Full Fucking Stop’ in Memphis or anywhere in the south.

Now if you are reading this in Memphis or parts south of the Mason Dixon line this may not be a big deal to you but when a plow pushes snow to the side of the street it piles up. Sadly there isn’t a ‘snow fairy’ who comes in and waves its magic wand and makes it go away. This stuff packs in and is harder than a high school oil boy at a Hawaiian Tropic Swimsuit competition. You see what I am getting to here? Eventually someone with a tractor makes ‘curb cuts’ to allow pedestrians to make their way across the street. The passageway are maybe 2 feet wide if that and with all the people walking around, you get the picture. It is a pain in the ass.

I am going to show the pictures to give you an idea of what I am talking about. I assure you that this southern boy is ready for spring and summer because trudging in this crap sucks. Maria, I am now bitching about the snow and weather do I get the next New Yorker badge? I guess you need to take me to your favorite Pizza place next. Enjoy the pictures. 

IMG_0503This was on Tuesday Morning when I came down to bring the dogs out to Pee. Pay no attention to Paul’s arm on the left side of the picture. He is laughing at me because I was saying to myself “At least it isn’t rain, at least it isn’t rain!”

IMG_0504Traffic was light on First Avenue on Tuesday Morning to say the least. Notice the street, they already plowed it earlier in the morning.

IMG_0505See the path on the sidewalk? That was Manny on the John Deere Tractor/snow plow who made that to push some sidewalk snow onto the street.

IMG_0506Hard to tell but the snow by the curb is about a foot deep. This was taken about 9AM on Tuesday and we had a full 8 hours of snow and sleet after that!

IMG_0501Here is my little snow bunny about to head to work on Tuesday. She is giving me ‘the look’ because my ass was in pajama pants and was checking to see what time the cigar joint opened that afternoon.

IMG_0509This poor Bastard got stuck on the shore during the storm on Tuesday. He getting rained on and the wind was a bitch. I bet that he was late to a staff meeting so they gave him this duty.

IMG_0510Wednesday they were digging out cars and this is reason number one that I am glad that we don’t own a car here. E72nd @ 2nd Ave

IMG_0511Call the ACPCA on my ass, I don’t care. If I had to put booties on the Monkey Heads they would bite me and it would be more trouble than what it is worth. Here this is the norm with dogs.

IMG_0512Taken on E73rd as I was…..wait for it….coming back from the Cigar joint.

IMG_0514Imagine 40 people coming and going trying to walk past in this little ass path in under 15 seconds.

IMG_0513This is a great way to make sure your bike doesn’t get stolen. Bury it in snow.

IMG_0515No curb cut? This is why we wear hiking boots in New York during snow days.

IMG_0520I see one of my work cohorts on Wednesday in a shared building and he takes one look at me and says “You going to work at Texas D Brazil?” I am fine with losing cool points, at least my feet are warm compared to your frozen toes.

IMG_0522Makes it damn near impossible to Jay Walk when we have snow piles.

IMG_0524Clearing the snow on 5th Avenue. They happen to have a little parade today and the Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, AB, and Skippy don’t want snow tickling their balls as they walk up the street in their kilts.

IMG_0525Yeah your ass ain’t getting your smart car out anytime soon bud.

IMG_0499As seen on Monday when I was making 19 calls to offset being home on Tuesday. I should have asked these guys on Monday if they needed anyone to sell Tour Bus Tickets on the Beach instead of Manhattan.

I will probably post some pics this weekend from the weekend’s festivities. Happy St. Patrick’s day folks. We are going to The Yonkers St. Patrick’s Parade on Saturday with Zsquared, Enimily the International Charleston Belle, Mel the IU Fan, and DC.

 

 

The Boogie Down BBQ on World Famous 236th Street!

You have probably heard me reference my friend RJ who lives in Memphis. RJ was originally from Pennsylvania but moved to Crime-Free Memphis as he wanted to be a shuttle driver at Graceland. RJ found himself a great woman (Let me rephrase that, Mallory, his wife,  is an effin saint) and they lived behind our house in South Bluffs. When we decided to sell Bar 595 he and Mallory bought it after we suckered hard sold JL (not Angry JL the one who can’t ride the majority of the rides at Disneyworld) into buying the house on Madewood to make the Ponzi scheme work. RJ’s best friend is the Asian Fireman and a whole bunch of other players who live near and around our vicinity. The Asian Fireman would come down each year for Memphis in May BBQfest so naturally they got the indirect smoking fever and sure enough some stick burners smokers have been purchased and reside in the Bronx and Glenside Pennsylvania.

A couple of years back the idea of The Boogie Down BBQ was born and a bunch of  Memphians headed up to 236th street and took over the house when the Asian Fireman’s wife was pregnant with C-Man. Can you believe we cooked all the food on just one smoker and a grill for 40 people?  After a trip to Glenside last year we headed back to 236th street and we were expecting a hungry crowd of 100 invited guests. We had 3 smokers and the grill and the menu included; Pork Shoulder, Baby Back Ribs, Spare Ribs, Beef Brisket, Beef Ribs, Chicken, Red Snapper and BBQ Nachos. The crowd came hungry and we delivered. A good time was had by all.

IMG_1718We must have elected a new Pope last weekend. Like a million of them

IMG_1717Prepping the Ribs

IMG_1719Loading the Smoker with Championship Ribs

IMG_1729Good to see Butchie who was in town for the day.

IMG_1732Me – “Um I smell something burning.” Asian Fireman – “Carbunkle, you need to lay off the sauce, there isn’t anything burning.” Me – “You were saying…..”

IMG_1710Pepe bossing us around from the chair

IMG_1708My buddy RJ, can’t wait to hoist a couple Cerveza’s down in Mexico!

IMG_1734The Spread for Dinner Service.

13697082_10154377130171214_6349630965306790063_nThe Backwood’s Smoker ish smoker. I could so use this sucker down on First Avenue.

13707714_10154377130246214_6399415964770970517_nBrisket’s being sliced.

IMG_1733Little Baby Priscilla Presley H is going to be the cutest girl in the Convent till she is 25!

It was a good time and I am glad to be enjoying some dinner that isn’t Hickory Smoked.

 

 

 

 

 

BBQ 101 for The Northeastern Pitmasters

I am going to send this link to some of my work cohorts as I hope to shed some light on a very opinionated subject…Barbequing. You see there is a lot of confusion on this subject and maybe this worthless dribble of a blog can educate my fellow friends who live north of the Mason Dixon line on how to properly smoke meats.  First, as always, let me give you a back story and my credentials as a half ass Pitmaster. Here is what is kind of funny about how I learned how to BBQ in that I am in no way on or have been on a competition barbecue team. With my last employer in Memphis I worked closely with some of the greatest pitmasters in the business while running logistics for my employer. My BBQ mentors include Mike Mills, Amy Mills, Cary “Peg Leg” Bringle, Heath Riles, Myron Mixon, Tuffy Stone, Big Moe Cason, Ernie Mellor, Mike Rude, Joffre DiSabatino, Chunky Rinehart, Colin Gage, and the countless others that I have sat down and visited with over the years. The two common important gems that I took away from all of those listed above is that BBQ isn’t about time and temperature but more of a “touch and feel” and that “BBQ is an opinion so have fun with it!”

Let’s start shall we?

  • Selecting the Brand – Duroc Pig, Smithfield Brand, Wagyu Beef or Farm Raised? Have you guys ever listened to car guys argue about Chevy vs Ford? Same thing. Find something you are ok to purchase and if you screw up you may have to throw in the trash. Personally I would be pissed if I overcooked a Wagyu brisket because that would be an expensive mistake.
  • Cut of Shoulder meat – Whole Bone In Shoulder, New York Bone Out Shoulder or Boston Butt. Shoulders are larger and need more pit time as compared to a Boston Butt which is a portion of the shoulder. I say start small and then work your way up.
  • Cut of ‘Pork’ Rib – St Louis, Spare Rib or Baby Back cut of Ribs? Again play around with this and find something you like and have fun with it.
  • Brisket ‘beef’ – Point Cut, Flat, Whole? I am not much of a brisket guy, but as you can now gather, play around with it and have fun.
  • Chicken – Whole Fryer, Split Breast, Leg Quarter, Drummies, Wings, Boneless Skinless Breast or Tenderloin. I prefer a whole chicken because it normally is cheaper and more forgiving. You also can cook this on a grill if you need to. Hell I cooked some up down in Belize on Soup Cans!
  • Exotic Stuff – Bologna, Spam, Beef Ribs, Lamb, Wild Game, Fish and Vegetables – I have seen it all. Some good and some bad.

IMG_1303Hey Kid, you want to eat ribs today? Then you need to rub some mustard on these shoulders for Uncle CBT.

IMG_3580_55_1

Here is when I did some Chicken for a contest down in Belize. Yes those chickens are sitting up on beer and soup cans. The faces were courtesy of Shuffles formally of Changes in Latitudes

To Trim the fat or not? If so, how much?

  • Definitely pull the membrane from the underside of the ribs.
  • For Shoulders I say you should pull that fat cap off but I know guys who don’t do it so it is your call.
  • For Ribs you can do as little or as much as you want to and again it is your call.

Pre-Smoke prep to marinate, inject or leave it alone?

  • Marinades can include juice based liquids, dry seasoning and even salt curing the meat. Depends on what you like and what you are trying to achieve.  If you are going for a tropical themed meal you may marinate it in a sweet citrus juice as compared to a apple juice based marinate. Just a word to the wise, citrus based juice can discolor the raw meat a tad so play around with it.
  • Dry Rub Marinades – the practice where you would sprinkle a spice mixture on the raw meat and allow it to soak into the meat before smoking it. Another word to the wise, be knowledgeable about the spice mixture because if the first 3 ingredients have salt in to you may want to wash the meat off before putting it on the smoker. Nobody likes salty meat. #twss
  • Injecting the meat – again there are schools for and against this practice. I hear that Trump doesn’t inject his meat while Hillary does and poor Bernie Sanders is a vegetarian so pick your poison. I will tell you that Bologna and Spam don’t inject well so be careful.

The Smoker

  • Stick Burner, Charcoal, propane powered, electric powered, stack, water bath, Firebox powered, Kamado Ceramic, Big Green Egg, Backwoods Smoker, 55 Gallon Drum or Bathtub? You can spend as little or as much as you want to. I can spend hours on this subject and there are tons of options. I will say that I know firsthand that if you are trying to smoke meat in a cold climate you better have something that is insulated. More on that later.
  • The name of the game is to practice, practice, practice and then go watch someone smoke on their smoker. Again this is a very debatable subject. I used to have a Big Green Egg and I loved it. I had friends swear by their Backwood Smokers and even had some killer smoked meat on a Weber Kettle so it is very opinionated. There really is no wrong answer here guys and gials.

IMG_1307Classic Stick Burner with a offset Fire Box

IMG_2421_11_1Here is another version of a off set smoker but this one has a rotisserie in it to evenly cook all the meat.

 

Firing up the smoker

  • Whatever your choice of heat charcoal briquettes, lump charcoal, stick of wood, propane or even electric it is paramount you have something creating smoke. You are cooking this meat via heat and smoke so it has to be consistent.
  • Type of wood is also another debate; some swear by Hickory, some prefer Pecan, there are those who love fruit woods and there are even some pitmasters who prefer  mesquite. The name of the game is that you pick one and keep on it. Ernie Mellor preaches “raw meat takes the smoke.” So if you start cooking your ribs in an oven you are defeating the process. Same goes with “par boiling” ribs in water, are you cooking ribs or spaghetti noodles?
  • I have seen some pitmasters who would put garlic bulbs or even onions in the firebox so play around with this.
  • Here is where I debate with a lot of pitmasters in that after the first or second hour of smoking the meat wont take anymore smoke. Keep adding wood to the box and all you are doing is wasting money on the heat source.
  • Editors DISCLAIMER – I was helping my friends in the Atlantic City BBQ contest last fall by being the overnight watch guy. The ambient temperature was in the low 40’s and the two smokers we were using are considered “southern smokers” because they are not insulated and require a lot of heat to keep them going. (Translation – the firebox was roaring but the chamber where the meat was had a big temperature variance) I literally had to burn all the wood in those smokers to keep the temperature hot enough in the smokers. Seriously I considered cutting down the mast off of one of the sailboats that was in the nearby marina for more wood.

IMG_9218NEVER EVER USE LIGHTER FLUID! Say it with me NEVER USE LIGHTER FLUID

Time and Temp

  • Low and Slow? or High and Hard? The biggest thing is that you want internal cooking temperatures that are recognized by health department rules. Pork should be 145 to 160, Beef should be a minimum of 140. Chicken at least 165. How you get there is up to you.
  • I know guys who cook Shoulders for 16 hours, Brisket for 12 hours, and Ribs for 5 hours. Here is where that “touch and feel” comes into play. I recall working with Mike Mills for a vendor sponsored event and the morning of the demo he 86’d the shoulder. “The Shoulder just didn’t get to where I want it to be so we are not serving it” was what he told me. While he was doing the demo I snuck back and stuck an instant read thermometer into the shoulder and the shoulder registered an appropriate internal temp. That is why he is a World Champion folks. The man knows what he is doing.

To Mop, Wrap, Glaze, or Just leave it the F alone

  • Many schools of thought here folks. I know guys who “set it and forget it” and I know guys who spend hours mopping and filling this bottom chambers of their smokers with all kinds of excess dripping. It is your call but again play around with it. The Asian Fireman and I were smoking some shoulders a couple of weeks back and he looked at me like I was crazy when I said I wasn’t going to mop the shoulders we cooked this past weekend. I also am not a fan of injecting the meat but that is why we differ on our choice of president too.
  • Wrapping ribs and shoulders is the practice of wrapping the meat halfway through the cooking process and pouring in some liquid before sealing it up to allow the meat to steam. Lots of different schools of thoughts here so find something you like and go with it.

Gumbo to BBQ Fest 2012 144Good Friend and Pitmaster Ernie Mellor leading a demo at WCBCC

Gumbo to BBQ Fest 2012 152Legendary Grand Champion Mike Mills giving a talk about Sauces

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One of the greatest places to ever smoke some meat. Here I am grilling some pineapple for my friends down in Belize.

Pull, Chop, Slice or Rip

  • I say to always pull the shoulder meat rather than chop and slice the brisket with the grain over rip it by slicing it against the grain rather than ripping it which means slicing against the grain. It’s your barbecue so you do what you want to do. There are no wrong answers here.

IMG_9118Boston Butt after slow smoking for 16 hours

IMG_9119I am a big proponent to long strands of Pulled Pork

Slaw, Beans Sauce and Fixins

  • Some will put slaw on their sandwich, some will put it on the side. There are no wrong answers here.
  • I would say that you need to not put sauce on the meat and let it ‘stand alone’. A common cheating method of food service places is to already sauce the meat because they have over cooked it. Let your guests decide.

IMG_9120Doesn’t that look good?

So when are we firing up the smoker?

Memorial Day Weekend Recap

It started last week with various friends and coworkers asking; “You doing anything for Memorial Day Weekend CBT?”
“No, we are staying in the city over the weekend.” Not that there is anything bad with staying here but we are going to be out of town next weekend and needed to save our pennies.
FYI Memphis Friends – No we will not be at the Annual Italian Fest in Marquette Park this weekend. The truth of the matter is that I have not completed my “Speaking Northern 101” class yet but I am happy to report I am rocking the dark socks, sandals and a wife beater like a M’Effer!*
Now unlike my friends and coworkers who went to the beach or the Shore *why do New Yorkers say “Beach” and New Jersey folks say “Shore”* we stayed close to home and had a helluva weekend;

Friday night we went out to celebrate 19 years around the sun staying married to each other. We dined at Delmonico’s down in the heart of Wall Street and had a great meal and time. Part of this blog’s mystique is that I spin real stories and protect the names of the innocent. I will say that 19 years with Mrs. Trumpet has been a helluva ride and I look forward to the next 19+ years with her. Or at least until she figures out how to program the DVR and set up the WiFi connections then my ass is on the street.

Saturday we ventured up to see the Asian Fireman and his family and did a little BBQ’ing. *Remember New York Friends – BBQ by southern terms is cooking something indirect and utilizing smoke or vented heat. Grilling is cooking the same item over a direct heat source.* We had a good time up in Woodlawn and even the Monkey Heads got to enjoy running on grass and being outdoors.

Sunday we got to sleep in (well Mrs. Trumpet did) and tried to see “Manhattanhenge” where the sun lines up and is in full view of all cross streets. It only happens a couple times a year so naturally we celebrated it with beer! Sadly the cloud cover made for a no go of the sun peeking down the streets. Maybe next time.

Monday we chilled at home and again tried to see Manhattanhenge and again had cloud cover so no go. Fell asleep watching the Golden State game and now we have a two day work week!

STREET SHOTS-19You have to appreciate a joint that has been around for a while.

 IMG_1301When I worked at the Fancy restaurant in Memphis it amazed me for those who wanted Baked Alaskans. Naturally I had to have one for good measure.

IMG_1306We put “ole Blue” (the name of the smoker) through her paces on Saturday.

IMG_1313It gets any hotter then I will be telling C-Man to move over.

IMG_1308Got to love Fi, she is going to be a handful when she grows up.

IMG_1314Shoulder 1 is off the smoker

IMG_1316Smoker Two is off the smoker. *The reason for the cigars is that we were trolling a couple of our friends. We both know not to smoke a cigar while handling food.

FullSizeRenderAwww This makes me nostalgic for Memphis!

IMG_1322Manhattanhenge – FAIL!

IMG_1324Not a view down a cross street but this is up First Avenue. Love the way the buildings frame the street.

Have a good week!

 

 

 

 

 

The Memphis Water Cover Up of April 2014

Let me let you in on a ‘dirty little’ secret about my former hometown. I think that the statute of limitations have run out and since I don’t own a car anymore I don’t have to worry if it will blow up when I go to start it. You see Memphis had a huge cover up 2 years ago and still to this day they don’t talk about it. And this goes pretty deep too, like aquifer water well deep. You ready for it, Memphis 2 years ago had a huge water problem and now we are seeing the effects of it firsthand. No I am talking Flint Michigan lead in the water crisis, I am talking about baby making water. Seriously, first it started with favorite Tavern owner, then we assume that Pepe brought some water back to Philly for DP to drink, next was RJ & Mallory, I could go on for pages…..

Memphians who were on the front lines knew what was going on, I told Mrs. CBT that she was no longer allowed to drink water from the tap so she switched over to Wine and Beer. Double Bird MS switched over to Miller Light and our Ponzi scheme home owner started drinking Fireball like it was her job. One night we were at our local sports bar solving the world’s problem and out of the corner of my eye I see my Bar Wife about to choke down a birth control pill with a glass of water and I had to slap the glass out of her hand. I told her that she had to take her chances because I wasn’t going to let her raise a beautiful child that sadly would never get to ride the adult rides at Disney World. *Editor’s note – For those of you wondering WTF I am talking about, I have a bar wife, she and I were married by Elvis Priestly from Canada on Beale Street. Oh and my Real Wife we had our vows renewed by an Elvis Tribute Artist in Vegas for our 5th Anniversary.

Ok, I am cutting to the chase because I am nearing 350 words. So this Saturday morning Mrs. Trumpet and I get our happy asses up and head down to Penn Station to take a train ride over to Philly. The occasion…..A one year old’s birthday party. I do have to hand it to the city planners up here in the North East. You guys know how to move people around and in bulk too! Getting to Philly, more specifically Glenside was two shakes of Lamb’s tail and we were there! We get up there, get us a cold beer in us and watch Pepe wrestle with his smoker since they had a rain storm. Pulled Pork, Ribs, Chicken, Kielbasa and Smoked Mac & Cheese were on the menu. I must admit it had been a while since I saw multiple charcoal and stick burners going on at the same time and it made me feel nostalgic.

It was good to see everyone and yes, I watched the 1 year old destroy the obligatory birthday cake.

I don’t really understand that practice but hey, I did my job. I kept my real and bar wife from drinking the water 2 years ago!

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She would’t drink beer with me in the morning! Not my fault there is a Pinot Grigio Grape Shortage now.

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Got up at 4AM to get the Smoker going and still going strong!

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If the Rib Bends then like a Rainbow it is good – Rib 101 rule

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Glazed up and ready for cutting! Sadly the Jewish folks who were heading out for Passover festivities didn’t stick around.

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There is nothing better than putting your hands in Pork Meat and pulling  it apart.

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For those of you who were calling Bullshit on My Bar Wife and I being married by Elvis Priestly. Here is his card that I keep in my book.

Let me guess, you went to Hot Wing Festival and then Wine Race this weekend didn’t you? Fuckers!

You going to the Stinky Place today?

I have had a couple of my friends and readers inquire about my normal pattern of Facebook checking into “The Cigar Inn” over on E73rd Street. My canned response is “I can tell you about it but then I would have to kill you” and they laugh it off until they realize that I am serious….I am kidding folks. Back when we lived in Crime-Free Memphis we had a balcony overlooking Main Street that I would sit out and smoke many a stogie, hell I even had a TV with Comcast service out there. Now before you associate those stinky Swisher Sweets or Black and Mild that is not what I am smoking. My particular tastes is medium to mild cigar with a greater than 50 ring size and prefer Torpedo shaped cigars but even that has changed since moving to NYC. I don’t drink alcohol while smoking and only smoke when I can devote at least 2 hours because this is my relaxation and happy place. Back when we were in Memphis I would normally do this solo as Momma doesn’t like the smoke and this is where I would read, play on the tablet and stalk on social media.

When we moved up to NYC I was limited to locations to enjoy a cigar, you see smoking is prohibited in parks as well as any eating establishment so other than going to see the Asian Fireman in Woodlawn it was either the benches outside of Central park on 5th Ave or cigar bars. In Memphis I never really found a cigar hangout (traditionally a Cigar store) that I could call home. The Cigar Store on Union had some ‘characters’ that would frequent there that I never really felt welcome. I did enjoy the Cigar Store a block away from Beale Street but inevitability there would be “that guy” who wanted to talk to everyone and try to start arguments because he wasn’t held as a child. Then I found The Cigar Inn a block away from our apartment. 

The Cigar Inn has two locations and allows Cigar Smoking inside the establishment. They don’t serve alcohol or food but do offer some non-alcoholic beverages and has a decent espresso. When we moved up here, and since I was unemployed, I would head over there in the afternoon before Momma got home from work. Inside the joint on E73rd Street it has a front and rear Cigar Parlor that is divided by the merchandise cases and Cigar Lockers. Both parlors have 3 flat screen TV’s that will have sports, news or whatever you request shown on them. Just don’t ask to watch an SEC Football game the same hour that the Yankees are on because you will be told no. The rear Cigar Parlor is where some older gentlemen hang out and are quick to chastise you for wearing shorts and not long trousers. Yeah, I learned my lesson and I have since abided by the dress code. The downside to the back room is that it is very smoky back there and the older gentlemen are the type of people who want to win the 1.4 Billion Powerball for a tax break. Yeah, I am out of that tax bracket so I sit my ass up in the front room. 

The beauty and allure of The Cigar Inn is that no one is a stranger and what makes it unique is the different clientele who frequent the joint. You have white collar executives who are more than happy to smoke their cigars in their 4K suits and then you have blue collar workers who smoke double corona cigars with their steel toe boots on, pretty much all are welcome. Traditionally I am in there in the late afternoon or weekends so you normally see the same group of folks and as one can expect, there is some serious ball busting going on in there. What I love about place (Mrs. CBT calls it “The Stinky Place”) is that if you sit there long enough you can find a common bond or framework. I will carry my tablet with me but I find that I hardly look at it as I now watch Hockey on the TV or join in the conversation.  The only downside is that you do smell like an ashtray and you will get some stares in the Hospital owned apartment building while riding the elevator because you reek of smoke. Thankfully the head of Cardiac Surgery for the hospital is also a patron of the clubhouse so I can always blame it on him.

IMG_0284Here is the front of the store on East 73rd Street

348sFront Room – I had to nip this off of the internet as I am sure The Boys wouldn’t be too keen on having their picture taken and posted on this crappy blog.

E73rd-334-Cigar-Inn-TA002Merch Area – to the back is the Walk In Humidor and rear parlor. They have all kinds of gifts here, granted it will have to be aired out for a week but if you need a good “Guy’s Gift” give them a call.

Robopalooza in NYC

 

Momma Trumpet left my ass this past week. She left me for the warm and sunny bars of Key West Florida for a girls trip. I joke that when I am left alone that we celebrate “Robopalooza” where it is wild parties, eating peanuts on couch while throwing the shells on the ground, and the toilet seat remains up at all times. I also have been known to do some type of a project in her absence because I don’t want anybody to hear me curse when I screw something up because I didn’t read the directions. One trip when we had the house on Monteigne I painted the bar and my best friends mother still to this day curses me when she re-painted it Seattle Seahawks colors. This trip we hung some pictures that we had been meaning to hang and I did some organizing of the spices after a trip to IKEA.

 FullSizeRenderI may have visited the Cigar Inn on East 73rd Street maybe once this past week…. Ok it was 5 times, are you happy now?

IMG_9599I may have had one beer while momma was out of town. Ok it was two are you happy now?

IMG_9613I finally got around to getting a frame for the “Thomas Crown Affair” print that we never got around to hanging. Coincidently, this print covers our electrical box so it is a win-win.

IMG_9615Hung the Playbill’s that Mrs. Trumpet’s plays that she attended. I also figured I would hang our notable NYC events on the wall. Here we have, in order, The Pope’s Visit, Hamilton, and Rotten Tomatoes

IMG_9616Visited that fancy Seafood restaurant and then saw Saturday Night Live

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Our visit to the Rubin Museum to hear Damien Echols

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At IKEA (feel free to make a comment Tia) I found these spice jars and picture ledges so I got out the drill and went to town.

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I missed her ass!

Also shout out to our favorite Russian, Alexia, and Maria for drinks and dinner this past week. I found a new Thai restaurant that I can take my mother to when she visits again.