That Crappy little Island that I need to move to

New Joints in San Pedro

As I reported EARLIER we visited some new joints while down in San Pedro. Also on our visit we got to see some new improvements to some of the ones that we saw when we were down 2 years ago at Easter. I hear the grumblings of people all the time; I miss the hand drawn ferry, it used to be much quieter, so much traffic, and so on. Hell, the bad thing is that the majority of that comes from the bitter Ex-Pats who we hung out with on the Poker Run north of the bridge on Saturday.

Sorry Folks but San Pedro back in the early 1980’s will never happen again. Change is inevitable and it can either be good change or bad change. I am not going to open this up for discussion but personally I think the change on San Pedro is for the good. More people means more money, more jobs, more housing, and more infrastructure. Sure I miss the bumpy ass roads north of the island but do you know how nice it is to make it to Truck Stop without having to stop to re-adjust your balls?

I have friends on the island who tell me that business is booming and people are wishing to buy property on the island all the time. I say we should welcome them with open arms because with that extra cash flow maybe someone can put in a full time hospital or clinic on the island. It isn’t a big secret that “One should never get sick in Belize” so maybe this will be the next big thing. I still recall when there wasn’t a hyperbaric chamber on the island and this when there were dive shops going up every day.

IMG_2705Here is Crocs north of the bridge. A huge 3 story sport bar/restaurant that has killer views of the back of the island.

IMG_2694I have to hand it to the owners and investors of The Truck Stop. Huge gamble but they are printing money hand over fist. Great concept (shipping containers aka food stations) and since our last visit they added 2 more containers, built a stage and even have a friggin pool out back. Staff is wonderful and we wish them the best. They really are a great addition to the island.

IMG_2695Family Feud Night!

IMG_2696Picnic Tables in the middle and plenty of seating.

IMG_2697Great family place to bring the kids too!

IMG_2725The old Standby – Estel’s by the sea. They added a bigger bar (this space used to be Charlie’s dining room table) and the staff as always is top notch!

IMG_2704Talk about re-purposing something in San Pedro – This is the urinal from Croc’s

IMG_2702I snicker each time!

IMG_2713Like a Phoenix re-birth from the ashes The Palapa Bar is back! Here we are working our poor friend Rony to death and also twisting the jealousy knife into the backs of Bill and Roxanne a tad too!

IMG_2718What you can’t really see is the Stage 2 Sunburn on this poor girl or that she did a pretty good job belting out some Janis Joplin

IMG_2706One thing that should always stay the same is the shrimp sticks at Blue Water Grill. Still as good as the first time we had them!

IMG_6605That and Kitty, she never changes!

IMG_2693There is always one couple in the bunch!

Not pictured: Wayo’s New Joint over the water or a bunch of new places north of the bridge. Including…….wait for it………an Irish Bar! Don’t the friggin Irish have enough places to drink already?


Last Monday I was in Belize!

Sorry for the lack of posts from last week. I learned something very important from a whirlwind trip down south and back. My 47 year old ass doesn’t bounce back from 4 days of boozing to roll into work like I used to do. I need to start planning some “rehab” days following those trips from now on. Or I just quit making it a point to drink with Kitty, Dita, Rambo, Islenutt, Otter, Otter’s wife, Jean, Ruthie and some others while down in Belize!

It was a great trip and it was great to see some of our friends and family. Granted the 80+ degrees and sunshine sure as shit helped but we had a blast. We got to eat at some of our normal haunts; Wild Mango’s, Blue Water Grill, Celi’s Deli, Truck Stop and we got to see some new joints on the island as well.

This trip we tried a new joint to lay our head at night and I have to say that the Conch shell is perfect for those who want simple accommodations and to be in town. We found our room to be perfect for our trip and just outside of the Carnival “Painting Zones” that can be trouble if you aren’t paying attention. Thanks to Kitty Cynthia Angelica for procuring the room and as luck would have it I got to speak to my Belizean Mother (Flora) on the phone last week when I was trying to pay for the Tropic Flight. Anyway here are some pictures from the trip.

IMG_2723Monday Morning I am sitting on my veranda with a cigar (of course) and I see the kids heading to school. Talk about a helluva commute.

IMG_2691You don’t see the Nissan Vans painted Taxi yellow very often in San Pedro. We asked him how much it would cost to take us to 1st Ave and 71st street.

1E0182E0-54C0-4392-9F4E-CCDA478270E7Bitter Sweet – We were walking by Carnival Saturday night when they were dedicating this year’s Carnival to Felix Ayuso who was tragically murdered last year. The proceeds of this shirt were to go to his charity that he worked so hard for; Aids Awareness. I pretty much emptied my wallet for the $10US shirt and told them to keep the change. Dance on Felix, Dance on!

IMG_2701The Sargasso (stinky seaweed) was pretty fierce this trip.

IMG_2698Drunk Chinese Food goes together like Fat Kids and Chocolate Cake!

IMG_2721All is right with the world, I got to hang with Ruthie and Chunky!

53999038645__49EE116F-19B7-479C-B781-2D1364D039CFI “may” have had a couple of these while down in San Pedro.

IMG_2724Almost got my ass divorced while down in Belize. No Otter and I didn’t get caught checking out the girl who was sunbathing with only dental floss for bikini bottoms. (oh wait was that supposed to be a thought bubble?) I promised the wife that I would procure her a Chicken Tostada from Celi’s Deli. Albeit it was for breakfast on departure day but I got her some.

IMG_2679You can’t feel the cold but it was a brisk 34 degrees on Tuesday the morning we got up from Belize. Next time I am bringing more money and we are staying longer.

It was great seeing everyone; including those who were calling me out on golf carts for not seeing them yet (I see you Yas) and next trip we will stay longer.

BONUS SUNDAY FUNDAY – Pictures of the “Past” Week

Between Corny Lenten Jokes (which I might add I am getting a lot of suggestions from my FB friend’s children) and getting back into the swing of things I have been busy. Add to that I came down with a nasty cold and was out of commission Friday evening and all day Saturday…By the way Momma now has what I have and is enjoying poor health. This weekend was very, very low key. Here are some pics that I didn’t use in this weeks blogs post.

IMG_2722Weather the Morning I got up that we were to head back to New York.

IMG_2700The best cigar of the day should always be smoked before 8AM

IMG_2714Love me some Charlie and the DH Folks

IMG_2685The Day before our departure in New York

IMG_2699Stark difference 24 hours later if you ask me.

IMG_2728When we landed in New York. Feels like 26 pretty much means “kick in the balls” cold

IMG_2730This is just mean

IMG_2734New Joint that opened down the street from us. The yellow sign is hard to read but it says “QUESO” and it blinks to “UES” so it has to be good.

IMG_2731Needed some ‘light lunch’ on arrival day. It tasted like shit.

IMG_2732Back in the US and our huge apartment

IMG_2738Any Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt fans out there? Filming down the block on Tuesday.

Have a good week and make it count. I am going to Netti Pot my nose again.

All The Good Ones Are Leaving Us Behind

*editors note – I have had this post written in my head for a couple of weeks but I never had the proper time to sit down and put it into words.

Way back before the dawn of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and any other social media outlets or as Millennials would say “the dark ages” people would converse on message boards. One such message board that we would frequent was for our second favorite island down in Belize. The message board handles were great; Travel Queen, KLCMan, Otter, Nova, Diving Cowgirl, WindJammer, TacoGirl, KC Jayhawk, RMT, Reaper, BrusselSprout, Sweet Jane, Chloe, Bobcat Bill, Wonderwoman, I could keep going on for days.

The ACMB message boarders would always get together in November and then again in February for the “Boogiedown” which was when the skydivers would ‘fall’ (see what I did there KLCMan) down on San Pedro.  One of the ACMB regulars who now lives well south of the Mason Dixon Line would always say “Hug your loved ones” as we are never guaranteed a next time or tomorrow. This simple saying has been hitting home as of late as the island reunions seem to be getting smaller and smaller each year.

Sadly due to bad scheduling we have been missing the majority of the ACMB reunions due to moves to NYC, school, unemployment, low funds, and vacation constraints. It seems that now anytime the gang gets together it is to mourn the loss of one of the regulars. It seems that in the blink of an eye we lost two great ones in the past 3 weeks. If I tried to eulogize those that have gone on before me I would certainly fill my 500 word cap and I could never give proper justice to those who are looking down on us.

So in closing, Mrs. Trumpet and I are 100% in for San Pedro in February during Reapers Boogie Down. We hope to see some familiar faces down there. Here are some that I found on my old Facebook Feeds and ‘stole from TacoGirl’

797_37129939927_3126_nChunky, Ruth, AZ Bob and Bill (forgot his handle)

797_37130019927_8101_nOh yeah, I was sober. Me and Taco Girl!

797_37130034927_8828_n“Hey I know You!” Sweet Jane and Hubby (who now live fulltime on the same Island)

797_37130044927_9531_nMe and KC Jayhawk

797_37130079927_1675_nWhat kind of an asshole puts his feet up on the bar stool and take a nap? Oh wait..he does own the joint.

229211_8100279927_4996_nI do love me some Pedro. He isn’t afraid to speak his mind and I respect him for that.

797_37132319927_3236_nSorry Ladies, both of us are taken. Hopefully the picture still is sitting on Chloe’s nightstand.

200491_10150131659414928_6956946_nRuthie and Little Baby Sister

229591_8100274927_4561_nTQ How many years ago was this picture. You haven’t changed one bit.

1923980_51893329927_6925_nKLCMan, Gela and Mrs. Trumpet on the boat to Caulker

1923980_51893454927_4993_nLooking forward to having some Belikins with this sucker and his wife.

1923980_51893709927_9811_nLove me some Dita and Rambo!

1923980_51898899927_6578_nHey Look a Chicken!

STP87337Stole this from Taco – I spy Nova, Farmer Ted, Bill, Jammer, and a bunch of other folks in a bar that is no longer there.

STP87342Wind Jammer Dancing at Wet Willies (which is also no longer there)

199381_10150131649639928_7841925_nGailtor and the Trumpets.

Note to WonderWoman, Diving Cow Girl, Mrs. Otter and some others – Consider yourself lucky in that I didn’t post the pictures that I had of you. I don’t like to get hate mail or death threats. LYLTU#1

14 days can make one two week…..

I know I should keep my day job because of that groan’r. No it isn’t Lent just yet as my yearly Lenten tradition of providing you with corny kid jokes on The Book of Face. For 14 days (hopefully ending today) in a row we have had below freezing temps in Gotham. This past weekend it was BSC (Ball Shrinking Cold) as with the wind chill from the East River temps were below freezing and were -1 to -15 degrees.

Yes I know that Memphis had some cold weather and there are some who have to pay a plumber and even some of my San Pedro folks were bitching but give me a break. When you have to put more layers than an onion to take the dogs out you know it is cold. Hopefully today (Tuesday) the temps get above freezing and we break the streak. We had snow last Thursday and for all of you who think that the snow in New York is so pretty have obviously never been here a couple of days after it snows. The snow turns into New York Snow aka dirty and smelly.

IMG_2532You know it is going to be bad when they send out alerts because of weather.

IMG_2519What the Hell are These Things Used For?

IMG_2524Thanks to UWS Holly for this Gem of information. Get you a cheap pair of snow goggles during a Cyclone Bomb. Blowing Snow into your eyes sucks but wearing these helps.

IMG_2523Oh look how pretty 1st Avenue is. Yeah it sucks!

53677705979__45D17950-2FF6-4AF6-B990-81795E5E223FSnow on our window.

IMG_2537Afterwards the sidewalks are shoveled but normally you lose a couple feet to the piles of snow. This makes for lots of bottlenecks during rush hour. Especially at the corners which aren’t plowed.

IMG_2546It can be a mess if you are parked on the right side of the street. That’s where the plows push the snow. Aka your car will get blocked in! Recall that shovel in the earlier picture?

IMG_2535This dog loved the snow. Our dogs…not so much!

IMG_2538Here is what sucks about plowed streets. I can’t jaywalk as easy unless I want to mountain goat up and over the ice mountain.

IMG_2520Best Part of Thursday during the snow storm!

Hope you had a good one!


Come on Lightbulb – Pics of the Week from Isla Mujeres y Manhattan

Merry/Happy Christmas, Happy Hanukah/Chanukah or Happy Holidays to you and to  my readers(all 14 of you!) If I have learned anything by living up here is that you always appreciate understanding someone’s heritage and or traditions. It is no lie that I grab my fair share of cabs but trust me when I say that I love asking the back of the head who is driving my cab; “So Boss Man….Tell me about your country.” If you come to NYC I implore you to please do this. Seriously please do it and you will find all kinds of country/family pride.

So I am going to get to the pics because I have had a helluva week and you guys (all 14 of you) hate my diatribe.

 IMG_2300Had a small fire on E70th a couple weeks ago.

IMG_2302Hey Guys is the Asian Fireman or @AB670 on board….yeah I know the answer.

IMG_2347RJ & Mal-O-Rie – So if we get this joint can you please promise not to procreate in the pool? #askingforafriend

IMG_2357I was warm here. I didn’t have to wear a bunch of cold weather gear.

IMG_2389Hey Staten Island S – Can you get us a bottle of this?

IMG_2394Tastes like Sambuca but its pretty good!

IMG_2411Maya is pissed and let me tell you how upset I was considering I was wearing shorts 2 says ago!

IMG_2412Maddy was not happy either!

IMG_24016 days in Mexico and I was offended that my beard was coming in grey. Pay no attention to the hairs on my head mind you! Hashbrown – at least I have hair!

IMG_2434Don’t blame me Maya….Blame the other one who put you in this outfit!

IMG_2440It screamed that I should come in and have a drink but it was 9AM and I had service issues. I will see you next week Village Tavern!

Seasoned Greetings to all my readers. All 14 of you!

Oh is this your first time to Isla Mujeres *I have heard it both ways

So after the wedding we decided to stay one more day in Mexico and spread the wealth so we headed over to Isla Mujeres for a night. We hitched a ride with Z(squared) to the airport and then headed to ferry port. While we were on the Ultra Mar ferry there was a gentlemen behind us who was talking up 2 Canadian Tourists who were making a day trip to Isla.

Gentlemen – “Oh is this your first time to Isla?”
Tourist – “Yes, we heard that we should visit the island while we are here in Mexico.”
Gentlemen – “Well the thing about Isla is that your first trip will be for a couple hours, then your next trip will be for a couple days, next thing you will be spending a week or month here. Or in my case, years.”
Tourist – “So what makes it so special.”
Gentlemen – “Hard to describe it to someone who has never been there but between the culture, the food and the locals you will probably love it.”

So here we were heading back to Isla and the gentlemen hit the nail on the head. Way back RJ/Mal-o-rie, Mrs. Trumpet and I took a day trip to Isla. Then we stayed for 3 nights before meeting up with English Mike and then last year we spent a week on Isla. Of course the  last trip someone came back with a big souvenir but we definatly had the Isla Bug.

We hung out at North Beach after checking into our hotel in town and had dinner at our favorite restaurant on the island. Naturally drinks at Bobo’s were in order and we checked out the local drinking establishments.

IMG_2342Love the streets in Isla, small quant and cobblestoned

IMG_2343Our hotel for the night. Clean room, fridge and microwave in the room and even had an outside patio.

IMG_2345Swung by Bobo’s to check on if Olivia’s was open for Dinner that night.

IMG_2346Trust me when I say that Mrs Trumpet was excited that this joint was open on a Monday night.

IMG_2349Hey Tilapia Lover & husband and others. So the beach erosion has took a bunch out of the beach here at Phoenix. What was 3 rows of these beach beds before you walked into the water is gone. Currently there is only 1 row and it is tight to say the least.

IMG_2351We ended up heading over to the point and made camp at one of the other beach clubs. Weather was spotty and the wind was a blowing but we had a good time.

IMG_2354Tons of Kite Surfers out there this day.

IMG_2356We kept on waiting on dude to wipe out on the broken dock but he did pretty good.

IMG_2363Our Favorite Soft Shelled Crab Joint was closed on Mondays. Bummer.

IMG_2368To kill time while having some drinks we played dominos.

IMG_2374Still slays me seeing Santa stuff down in the tropics.

IMG_2370A puffy coat? Come on Man! It isn’t that cold!

A good time was had by the Trumpets even if it was only for 24 hours.




“I would rather go to Afghanistan than to see Eddie Money with you.”

Relax to some new of my FB friends who we met down in the DR. *who am I kidding, nobody reads this shit* Carbunkle doesn’t kiss and tell. For you 9 readers who have wondered where the hell I have been, we just returned from a quick trip to the Dominican Republic. We went down with some friends from PA and some of their invited guests. We had a blast and look forward to seeing them again at the Philly BBQ Bash this summer.

I had decided that I wasn’t going to snap a lot of pictures this trip for a couple reasons. First of all I needed a mental break. Secondly, other than S&K and Virgil I didn’t know anyone else in the group. I mean, they love that I sell tour bus tickets to tourists in the UES but someone may lose their shit like if they just found out that their child was on the roof of their home if I posted some proprietary stuff from that weekend. Here are a couple pics that I did snap.

IMG_0736Yes we are New Yorkers, Yes we are in the Dominican Republic, Yes those are Bud Red Top Beers, Stop yelling KLC Man. The Presidentes were hot that morning.

IMG_0741No I was not vacationing with the owners of the Kooky Canucks, this little fella starting drinking on Thursday morning and got more obnoxious every hour since then and hadn’t stopped. *picture taken on Sunday afternoon. #Blessyourheart #nahGoFeckYourselfdude

IMG_0740Laugh all you want at my drink but I saw these take down the ticket holder of some Eddie Money tickets late this week.

IMG_0739Overachiever Alert!

IMG_0738They didn’t have Shrimp Sticks or Sushi on Thursdays.

IMG_0743Remember the pic of the Canadian Maple Leaf towards the top? Here is his girlfriend who wanted to celebrate her 30th on the 30th in the DR. I don’t see her making it to her 40th. #blessyourheart

I will do better, I gave my work wife my Met Gala Passes since we didn’t get back till late on Monday. Hopefully she has some great pics.


If you need Spices, Seasonings, Herbs, Salts, and Goo then visit Kalustyan’s Market on Lex

A while back I was with one of my cohorts selling tour bus tickets to the tourists. He is a native New Yorker and were discussing the difference between Southern and Northern food. He told me that some New Yorkers think that Southern food can be too spicy and even went so far to tell me that even some New Yorkers think that Ketchup is too spicy. (If you hail from south of the Mason Dixson line and are reading this and wondering if I am fucking with you, I promise that I am not!) He told me that he was getting into hot sauces and found a great one from Belize called Marie Sharp. My ears perked up saying that I was familiar with this brand and asked where he picked some up here in Manhattan. He gave me the address of a place on Lex at E28th Street in the Indian section of Murray Hill.

This past weekend I ventured out in the rain and cold to acquire some Marie Sharp since the bottle we got on our last trip to Belize ran out. Ironic that it was almost one year to the date but needless to say I had to get some more hot sauce. I find Kalustyan’s on Lexington and make my way into this sprawling joint. This place is probably 3 storefronts because you walk into different rooms with shelves of all kinds of different spices, seasonings, marinades, and stuff I have no idea what is in a bottle. I find the Hot Sauce section and pick up my Marie Sharp and was amazed that everything was well before the expiration date. This is a common problem I find when someone has a huge variety of Hot Sauce because they can’t get good rotation on everything.

I am standing there and one of the managers comes up to me and we start talking about the store. She tells me that they do more spice and seasoning business for restaurants here in Manhattan than anyone. They get daily shipments in from different purveyors to make sure what they have on the shelf is fresh and listen to their customers. We started talking about the Marie Sharps and she told me that it is one of their better sellers for Latin American restaurants and for Belizeans living in New York. I explain to her my history with the country and how I am always trying different things. She recommends their Spice and Herb book and shows me a couple tricks that you can do in the kitchen to create different flavors. I agree and pay cash for everything. Typical New York Establishment, you can use a card but Cash is King and you get better discounts.

IMG_0580Some of these hot sauces were pretty funny. I stuck with what I knew. Marie Sharps

IMG_0581Need Pink Salt in Bulk? The square on the right is 16X16

IMG_0583Yep, I made some Eggs the next morning and lit it up!

That was it for pictures as they Manager told me that they prefer that people don’t take pictures. I respect that but I will be back!


Robo for the Valentine’s Day Win

Sorry to piss upset off my readers from Maine and Nova Scotia who were shoveling snow. Not to mention our friends were down in Belize looking for ‘a chicken’ and keeping the Belikin Beer supply in check. Last night  CBT not only had his smoking hot wife, Mrs. CBT, on his arm but the World Famous Travel Queen made a jaunt through the Holland Tunnel for a Happy Hour drinks. Yep, I win!

Hope that everyone’s Val-in-Times was a good one and you didn’t wake up in a chocolate hangover. It was great to see 3 Day Traveler and catch up. If you ears were burning then you were being spoken about you affectionately. Well except for you Pedro, but I did preface one story by “With All Due Respect.”  (I am kidding) Hopefully we can see Travel Queen this late summer in some far away distant location. Or she comes up here and crashes on our couch. Either way is good for us.

img_0338Go ahead Reaper and show me more pics of how beautiful living Pura Vida is. I win today wearing a heavy coat!

Have a good Hump Day!