That Crappy little Island that I need to move to

Bonus Pictures of Belize (borrowed from The Windy City Brit aka Toria)

I can’t recall all the times I have been to Belize over the years. I probably have in my storage unit in Memphis over 1000+ pictures of the island over the years. I know this is going to sound somewhat calloused but I take a lot of what Belize has for granted. Obviously there is nothing better than sitting on the dock or patio smoking a cigar while the sun comes up over the reef. I can’t get that view here in Manhattan. But I notice that I put my blinders on when I am going around town and never stop to appreciate the little things.

One thing that I always enjoy is looking at pictures of the island from other people’s perspective. You stop to glance at them from your phone and it brings you back. You remember that view of the reef from a palapa. You remember the sheer terror you had as a child when Manuel tells you to get in the water at Hol Chan while the nurse sharks are circling the boat. You then pee yourself a little when you later realize that Manuel snuck some cut up sardines into your bathing suit pockets and the yellow snappers are swarming you like mad bees! I am still not happy about that Tio Manuel. I discuss this with my shrink on a regular basis.

So this past week The Windy City Brit aka Toria has been uploading pictures to her facebook page. Let me tell you that when you are suffering from a Sinus/Upper Respiratory infection those pictures bring it all back.

I asked her if I could swipe a couple and I wanted to give my 11 stalkers some bonus pictures. @Marty Casado – Feel free to post on the Pic of the day if you like. Thank you Windy City Brit, your pictures put a smile on my face this past week.

Old Rubys on the left and the Belize Chocolate Company.
I recall when Legend’s was the place to go north of the cut. Thank God some guys said “Lets put some sea containers on a plot of land on the lagoon side. Lets make it bar and food court with a stage.”
10 years ago you were driving at full speed because the mosquitos were going to lift you off the golfcart. Now there is a great place to watch the sunset and have a beer.
I want to go back. How perfect is this?
You can almost hear the reef from here.
I can never get bored of these pictures.
Little Bungalows at Secret Beach. It has been about 4 years since I was there last
Such great people who run this joint. Oh and the food is pretty spot on too!
This was me going to the store to get food for Friendsgiving today. Do I look like I am fucking happy?

Again, thank you Windy City Brit for posting the pictures and it was great meeting you and The Movie Star.

Pics of the Week Live From Belize!

Too Many Good Pictures not to post somewhere.

You Coming or Going? The Old Veteran Jet Holland!
Oh He is getting Bouchy!
Slow Your Role Tropic! It isn’t even the 15th of November and The Tree is UP?
Such a great addition to the island. Great Staff and Owners!
If you have to have a sign then there must have been an incident.
Over Achievers!
Good to See the Bronx Representing!
Note To Self – Only get on Boats that Have Bars on them!
View North from CV
The Famous Shrimp Sticks from Blue Water Grill!
Catching Up with CNN Belize Felipe!
Geranium – Please take a picture of that for me.
Me – Ok, I will but may I ask why?
Geranium – I want to make that my signature on inner office emails.
Me – Good Call
Did you know it was his birthday?
And that he is the same age as Belikin only makes it better!
View of the Pool from CV

It was a great trip!

The “Otter is 100BZE/50US” Birthday Celebration

As previously mentioned in last weeks worthless dribble post we just returned from a quick 4 night trip to Belize. Now that I have ridden the subways with my mosquito bites and sunburn a couple of times I am ready to give a proper description of the shenanigan’s that went on down in Belize. Hate to say it but if you are one of those Lurkers I am going to disappoint you. What goes on down in San Pedro stays in San Pedro. Sorry that are the rules.

Now before you think all are safe, I am not going to lie one bit. I swallow hard every time I see that The Windy City Brit posts some pictures to the FB page thinking she took pictures of that drunk guy on Friday night. But she is a good soul and would not do that to me the person who got overserved. Small bills right T?

So let me give you some back story to this Great weekend extravaganza. About 2 and a half years I get a notification that there will be a celebration down in Belize for Otter’s Birthday. I go to the calendar to circle those dates. The dates don’t match up. I recall that Otter and I are close to the same age as we are more of the junior members of the ACMB. Then I realize that he is inviting me to an event 2 and a half years in advance. What an asshole!

That is kind of brilliant if you ask me. This way you can start saving up, schedule the dog/child sitters and look forward to a weekly update by Otter on the page. I am kidding, he would send updates for those of us who have never been or for those of us who forget a lot (Pug I am not looking at you) and it was fun to bust Otter’s chops. Granted he saw a tweet that I sent to Joe Belize that I was going to be on the island for his birthday celebration and didn’t realize that we had RSVP’d in the yes. We always wait till the last minute to book airfare and hotel accommodations.

Here is where Otter gets Mad Props;

  • He arranged for hotel accommodations at one of the resorts south of town.
  • Scheduled a boat/Snorkel/Booze Cruise for all members.
  • Arranged a mid day afternoon activity for those who needed to watch College Football.
  • He talked a 6 person band from Columbus Ohio to come down and play 2 nights and a split off band to play 2 shows. Oh and he was able to coordinate getting drums, PA and sound boards handled down there on the island.
  • He not only was able to bring some of us older (well not so much me or TravelQueen) ACMB members, Friends from Ohio and those who have never visited San Pedro before.
  • I am not even going to harp on his mad spread sheet skills. (Love ya Otter)

Here is what I appreciated from the weekend plans. Other than the Friday 8:30AM call to be on the dock for the Booze Cruise (you can’t drink all day if you don’t start early) that was really the only formal plans that you had to do. Trust me when I say that I have been places where you have to follow a ridged schedule and if you have ever hearded cats before…..

The other part that we really enjoyed and I mentioned it in an email to TacoGirl was that it was so much fun experiencing San Pedro thought the eyes of someone who has never been there. That I knew of there were threee couples who were first timers to the island. To watch them experience the island like we did made this trip even more memorable.

Happy Birthday Otter! You magnificent Bastard! I am so happy to have been able to share your 50th birthday celebration with friends and family.

This was a fun time on Friday!
Great Views with Great Friends. Also this is the “Before” picture when Mrs. Otter arranged for the deck chair that we were sitting on was to fall off the deck. Thanks to my cat like reflexes I was able to prevent falling to my demise.
The Fabulous Johnson Brothers *Photo Credit to Windy City Brit
Me to XXXX – You happen to be drooling, pull yourself together there XXXX
Funtimes at Camo Cantina
Not only is he 50 but he can sing a song or two too!
The Band on Saturday Night!
Broke my heart when they said they have menus and we didn’t have to order from the board.
Us and the Windy City Brit and the Movie Star
Love that I don’t have to look at high rises to see the sky!
We get it Otter, you are with the Band!
My Favorite Dancing Jewelry Designer
Wait, what does this mean we have an excuse to go back to the island with the same group? Congrats you two kids!

It was a fun long weekend and I am so grateful for the friendships that we already have and those that were started last weekend!

Would the Alumni Members of the Ambergris Caye Message Board Please Stand Up (if they can)

I have to start out by giving mad props to Otteralum (I know that is a rather strange code name but he gave it to himself) because that magnificent bastard just pulled off one helluva ACMB Reunion. Pugwash quit swearing at the laptop, your time will come….

So, we just returned from a trip to Belize, but let me go back in time for some of you younger stalkers of this worthless dribble. Before Tic Toc, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, even Myspace and Friendster there was a thing called a “Message Board” Here people could come to it and ask questions about a vacation place or rant about their favorite sporting team. In this case the Message Board was for Ambergris Caye down in Belize.

For those of us who had visited the island a number of times we would chat on either threads or in mini chat. Like I said, Social Media hadn’t launched yet and there was not a lot going on. As with any group of child like adults (much like on social media) you had some ball busting, some fights, some got kicked off and so on.

I met the bulk of the ACMB (Ambergris Caye Message Board) on one of the Boogie’s in February. I want to recall it was a poker run that TacoGirl put together and IsleNutt made bracelets with everyone’s name. Needless to say it was a great trip and then Myspace moved to Facebook so sadly the message board lost steam.

So about 2 and a half years ago Otteralum put out a “Save the Date” for his 50th birthday in Facebook. I saw it was in early November and went to put it on the calendar. But something wasn’t kosher. First of all I thought that he and I were closer in age. Then I noticed that the dates didn’t coordinate with the days of the week. Did he start drinking early and forget his birthday? Nope he sent out the invite 2 and a half years in advance. Talk about an over-achiever.

Anyway a total of 42 folks came down from the US and a good number of them were from the ACMB. It was good to see some faces that I haven’t seen in a couple years. Even as Pugwash and I spoke at breakfast about todays agenda he remarked that it was probably the first time we ever were civil to each other. I told him it was because we were both still sober but Tim knows I don’t have a beef with him. He is just a big ole hairy Teddy Bear. But with a funnier accent other than mine. Love ya Pug and Jane!

I must have been in the bathroom when they took this picture. Pretty much the whole gang!
Me and Reaper (who technically doesn’t live in the States but in Costa Rica)
Me and Tia Chocolate – (the nose above picture is a staple Carbunkle Trumpet Selfie method) Nobody wants to see my whole face.
Me and Travel Queen
Me and Muppets Go Wild
The Birthday Boy aka Otteralum (his handle is a mix of his college and that he is an alum)
Fucking Spurs and Mr Spurs! – This picture automatically put a smile on my face when I saw it. It was so great to spend time with you and Bobby. Love ya Kid!
Yep even he was amongst us too.
For those of you wondering that is a shark vertebrae anklet and it was worn by KC Jayhawk. It was gifted to me by his wife because we lost Colin 4 years ago. Oh and we all still miss the big goof he was one in a million. I am not crying, you are crying.
I got you Bro!
Travel Queen and Dita
Two Former Memphians sit at the same table on a Sunday night. What are the chances.
For those of you who don’t know this is Elbert Greer and he owns the White Sands Dive Shop. Every morning he posts the weather report for San Pedro. It keeps my sanity when we are having Cold Ass Nor’easters.
She wasn’t on the island but as I am having my last beer I notice the picture of SweetJane with Jet. We got to throw her into the mix!
Love these two! Isla this summer?
Who has two thumbs and has two beautiful women by his side as we are heading in?
This Guy!

Like I said, This was a magical trip and I am so thankful that Otter invited Geranium and I to this event. Between this group of malcontents along with Otter and Mrs. Otter’s group of friends it was one helluva party. To those who couldn’t make it, you were missed.

A Mid Week And Only Post For This Week

Leaving on a big metal plane tomorrow for 17.9214° N, 87.9611° W to drink with a couple friends. I have been waiting for Otter’s 50th birthday for like 2 years and its finally here. How fucked up is that. I am celebrating the anniversary of someone who now has to get a colonoscopy. Oh well it could be worse. It could be my 50th Birthday. Can’t wait to see some old friends this weekend too!

Anyway have a good week and weekend and try to stay warm you New Yorkers. I hear that it is going to be kinda chilly this weekend.

How Many Beers did we drink that day at the Split KLC Man?
Going to eat me some good food this weekend too!
So proud of how Memphis rolled out for Game Day!
You may be from Memphis if you know what that means. Memphis AF
Its corny but hey at least it isn’t Nashville. There they celebrate Hot Chicken and Tractor Rides
Don’t Worry the Dog will be Fine!

Have a good weekend!

Where have you been? We were about to put your ugly mug on a milk carton.

So before you start in on me let me explain. For the past two and a half weeks Geranium has been off the road and working from home. Trust me when I say that the dog and I have enjoyed having Geranium home. That and she also helps with the chores in-between eating bon-bons. However, with her being home I really have not had time to blog or gather my thoughts. You see, once she gets done with her work it would be kind of a dick move for me to jump on my laptop. Hence why I have not been blogging since our trip to Charleston. I will catch up.

So without further wait, here are some pics from the past 2 weeks for Pictures of the week.

These past 2 weeks have been tough for me at work. I will be so glad to see this in early November. No not the kid and her mom, the fucking picnic Table in Caye Caulker!
I bust their chops on this thing but God Bless the FDNY and all the different teams who support New York City. For those of you wondering Rescue 1 is specialty division that services Manhattan. Cat stuck in the tree, nope these boys aren’t showing up. Randal’s Island Tram stuck in the middle of the East River with passengers on board….yep these guys show up.
If you were playing and needed “Woman doing interpretive dance in a bathing suit on the Morning commute into the city” you would have a Bingo.
If you are going to be running this let me know. I know that Jen from Memphis is going to be visiting all 5 boroughs so we will go out and support her.
Like I said Geranium has been busy…..(she will kill me for posting this)
Its’ Fall Y’all!
How do you pronounce this? I haven’t gotten an answer yet.
Maya is looking at me going “Aww Fuck, she is gone again. Now he will blame his farts on me”
Tiger Fans are coming to Brooklyn for Thanksgiving. I am trying to suggest a great place that they can’t get in Memphis. I will let you know.
Finally Midtown Uniform Weather here in Manhattan!

I do thank a couple of you assholes who were checking in on me. I am back and Geranium will be back on the road for a couple weeks straight.

SanPedroScoop? Rebec… my apologies….Best Selling Author Rebecca Coutant?? I Have Never Heard Of Her!

I am kidding. You probably have heard me speak of my friend SanPedroScoop down in San Pedro Belize. I featured her on my Fellow Bloggers You Should Follow when I was running that piece a while back. If you don’t know who she is, she is an ExPat who lives in San Pedro. She also writes a really great Belize Travel Blog that I have referred people to her blog when they ask me about going to Belize. A couple of weeks back I was watching her Instagram Stories and she made a couple of cryptic comments about doing something big and she was ready for this project to launch.

I message her and ask her what the hell she is up to and she gives me the scoop. Wait, I just realized it, I got the Scoop from Scoop. (ok yes, that was cheezy AF) But she trusted me not to spill the beans. After all her boyfriend and I do go to the same Gynecologist on the island. That is a true story by the way. Moving forward…. Rebecca informs me she is hoping to launch the book as an E Reader for Kindle in June and then later have paperback and maybe hardback copies. Being the Diva that I am (I can be a pain in the ass tormenting her with pictures of bagels and flavored seltzers) I inform her I want to get 10 copies in soft back and I want them autographed.

It is no secret that I love San Pedro, I love the country and I love it’s people. When someone asks me about what to do and or where to go I figure there is no better reference material than a book. Oh and since she is originally from New Jersey I can also say “I got a guy”!

In all seriousness, I am very proud of what she has done. I am very proud of what she does for the tourism on my favorite little Caribbean island. Oh and you can bet your sweet ass I am getting some books autographed in November in exchange for some Murray’s Bagels.

Congrats Rebecca – Now to you dozen readers of this worthless dribble…. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK! BUY 2 OF THEM! ONE FOR YOUR iFOAM AND ONE FOR YOUR iPAD!

Happy Anniversary Papua New Guinea Mike & Claire! Also Pictures of the week.

Right out of the gate I would like to wish my good friends PNG Mike and his lovely (and saint of a) wife Claire a happy Anniversary! PNG Mike and Claire were married 6 years ago and we were there to witness the event and had a blast! I look back on 6 years ago and think about the ton of stuff that has happened between that beautiful March 1st day and now and WOW. Cancer, Move to NYC, Rolls Royce, British American Tabaco, Reflexology Barn – life is changing after you get >40 and it isn’t all that bad.

One of the most ironic events that comes to my mind is that on the morning of the wedding we had “Kegs n Eggs” with the boys. There were about 20 of us at the table and I was seated across from Claire’s Uncle. He and I were exchanging pleasantries and he asked what my thoughts of England were so far. I told him that I was a little worried that BBC1 was excited that it was going to ‘almost’ get into double digits on the Celsius scale. (Almost 47 degrees for you Fahrenheit people) 6 years later we are living in NYC and we are supposed to get a snowstorm and the temp won’t get above 1C tomorrow. In all seriousness, Happy Anniversary guys.

We have had a long week and are glad that Mary Louise is coming back today. Right before the snowstorm and crappy cold weather. Anyway here are some pics from that great weekend 6 years ago and some from this week in Manhattan/Brooklyn.

I guess one has to stretch the Hamstrings before getting on the 4/5
6 Years Ago at Kegs N Eggs – No lies were being told here. Not at all!
This could be a problem
Love the Trainers (Chuck Taylor’s) for the wedding. Oh and Claire’s dress was nice too!
Some of our friends have asked when we are going to Belize this year. Some “guy” we know is going to celebrate 50 trips around the sun during this time.
I see this sign (a block from the apartment on State Street) and miss NOLA.
Shout out to all my NOLA Friends this weekend.
Yo Taco Girl! I Saw this and made me laugh!
That is the most hair PNG has had in a while! Again thank you for having us to your party and Happy Anniversary!

Have a good weekend!

Pictures of the Week

Man I took some serious hell from some of you guys for having a fancy dinner last weekend. Guess I need to step up my game and have dinner at Eleven Madison Park and REALLY piss you off. Anyway here are some pictures from last week.

This is Hockey – They play it here in the North East
Had to break out the warm coat last week
Merry Christmas Chloe! Hope you have a wonderful Holiday!
If anyone is missing a Nose Ring it was on the G Train
Love you too Nova! Fun going down Memory (Front Street) in Belize
Mary Louise is now Boujie when she sits in the First Class seats
Got me a burger on Thursday!
Nunchucks are legal in New York City. Who wants some?
Maya is ready for Mary Louise to come home

Next week we will be busy with travels to Memphis and then back.

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.