That Crappy little Island that I need to move to

SanPedroScoop? Rebec… my apologies….Best Selling Author Rebecca Coutant?? I Have Never Heard Of Her!

I am kidding. You probably have heard me speak of my friend SanPedroScoop down in San Pedro Belize. I featured her on my Fellow Bloggers You Should Follow when I was running that piece a while back. If you don’t know who she is, she is an ExPat who lives in San Pedro. She also writes a really great Belize Travel Blog that I have referred people to her blog when they ask me about going to Belize. A couple of weeks back I was watching her Instagram Stories and she made a couple of cryptic comments about doing something big and she was ready for this project to launch.

I message her and ask her what the hell she is up to and she gives me the scoop. Wait, I just realized it, I got the Scoop from Scoop. (ok yes, that was cheezy AF) But she trusted me not to spill the beans. After all her boyfriend and I do go to the same Gynecologist on the island. That is a true story by the way. Moving forward…. Rebecca informs me she is hoping to launch the book as an E Reader for Kindle in June and then later have paperback and maybe hardback copies. Being the Diva that I am (I can be a pain in the ass tormenting her with pictures of bagels and flavored seltzers) I inform her I want to get 10 copies in soft back and I want them autographed.

It is no secret that I love San Pedro, I love the country and I love it’s people. When someone asks me about what to do and or where to go I figure there is no better reference material than a book. Oh and since she is originally from New Jersey I can also say “I got a guy”!

In all seriousness, I am very proud of what she has done. I am very proud of what she does for the tourism on my favorite little Caribbean island. Oh and you can bet your sweet ass I am getting some books autographed in November in exchange for some Murray’s Bagels.

Congrats Rebecca – Now to you dozen readers of this worthless dribble…. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK! BUY 2 OF THEM! ONE FOR YOUR iFOAM AND ONE FOR YOUR iPAD!

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Happy Anniversary Papua New Guinea Mike & Claire! Also Pictures of the week.

Right out of the gate I would like to wish my good friends PNG Mike and his lovely (and saint of a) wife Claire a happy Anniversary! PNG Mike and Claire were married 6 years ago and we were there to witness the event and had a blast! I look back on 6 years ago and think about the ton of stuff that has happened between that beautiful March 1st day and now and WOW. Cancer, Move to NYC, Rolls Royce, British American Tabaco, Reflexology Barn – life is changing after you get >40 and it isn’t all that bad.

One of the most ironic events that comes to my mind is that on the morning of the wedding we had “Kegs n Eggs” with the boys. There were about 20 of us at the table and I was seated across from Claire’s Uncle. He and I were exchanging pleasantries and he asked what my thoughts of England were so far. I told him that I was a little worried that BBC1 was excited that it was going to ‘almost’ get into double digits on the Celsius scale. (Almost 47 degrees for you Fahrenheit people) 6 years later we are living in NYC and we are supposed to get a snowstorm and the temp won’t get above 1C tomorrow. In all seriousness, Happy Anniversary guys.

We have had a long week and are glad that Mary Louise is coming back today. Right before the snowstorm and crappy cold weather. Anyway here are some pics from that great weekend 6 years ago and some from this week in Manhattan/Brooklyn.

I guess one has to stretch the Hamstrings before getting on the 4/5
6 Years Ago at Kegs N Eggs – No lies were being told here. Not at all!
This could be a problem
Love the Trainers (Chuck Taylor’s) for the wedding. Oh and Claire’s dress was nice too!
Some of our friends have asked when we are going to Belize this year. Some “guy” we know is going to celebrate 50 trips around the sun during this time.
I see this sign (a block from the apartment on State Street) and miss NOLA.
Shout out to all my NOLA Friends this weekend.
Yo Taco Girl! I Saw this and made me laugh!
That is the most hair PNG has had in a while! Again thank you for having us to your party and Happy Anniversary!

Have a good weekend!

Pictures of the Week

Man I took some serious hell from some of you guys for having a fancy dinner last weekend. Guess I need to step up my game and have dinner at Eleven Madison Park and REALLY piss you off. Anyway here are some pictures from last week.

This is Hockey – They play it here in the North East
Had to break out the warm coat last week
Merry Christmas Chloe! Hope you have a wonderful Holiday!
If anyone is missing a Nose Ring it was on the G Train
Love you too Nova! Fun going down Memory (Front Street) in Belize
Mary Louise is now Boujie when she sits in the First Class seats
Got me a burger on Thursday!
Nunchucks are legal in New York City. Who wants some?
Maya is ready for Mary Louise to come home

Next week we will be busy with travels to Memphis and then back.

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a¬†Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.

Sunday Funday Mexico Photo Dump

Mary Louise has left my ass again………for Seattle………then her ass goes to Mexico for a girl’s weekend with Baby Fine Hair so I am sitting on the 3rd floor veranda blogging. Hey Mr 3 First Names and Landlord you guys want to get into some trouble between now and next Monday? I am going to be unsupervised till then. So while I have the wash going on trying to get the Hickory Smoke smell out of them from this past weekend I figure I would post the last of the Mexico pictures, well those that we can recall taking sober.

Isla was a blast, the group we went down with was fun and we had great weather. Oh and we got to see the Cuban Band and I am going on record saying that if Mary Louise goes to see them next Sunday I am going to be really jealous.

IMG_3801Oh I am sure that this is approved in the States at a lot of the job sites.

IMG_3771Poor LZ we had her all confused with the nicknames. “So is he Smoothie, Pepe or what?”

IMG_3777One of these days I am going to get a proper invite instead of having to jump over the fence.

IMG_3753That damn Cuban lead singer made the Future Mrs. Gonzales lose her pants. What goes on in Mexico stays in Mexico.

IMG_3751The Mexican Version of “Mustang Sally” isn’t as good as one would think

IMG_3752Lil Man was getting after it!

IMG_3739It is hard being Carbunkle Trumpet you know? Those 25 Cigars aren’t going to smoke themselves.

IMG_3755Momma L was gettin it as the Cheese Grater Guy was making his rounds.

IMG_3748Sunday in Isla is fun!

IMG_3741I hear that they have good Mediterranean Pizza. I wouldn’t know because my piece was on the fucking floor.

Till Next Time Isla! Maybe we can make a quick trip this winter.

 

So What did you guys do in Isla?

I fielded a bunch of those questions since we got back on Saturday. My canned answer has always been “We hung out, I smoked at least 1 cigar before 10AM each day, and we ate a bunch of good food. Oh and we drank buckets of beer, had a couple “Ernie Mellor’s Specials” and we drank some post sunset Vodka and Sodas.” So here is the real truth about our trip….That is exactly what we did and it was great!

When we were on the ferry over to the island there was a woman who was returning from being in the states. She was chatting up a couple who were asking her where to eat, where to rent a cart, ect. The woman said that she lived on a sailboat behind Oscar’s Pizza place. Naturally I hated this bitch, I mean she lives in about the same square footage as we do but her location is much prettier and more climate friendlier than ours.

This was the 5th trip over to Isla Mujeres; day trip, 3 night trip before meeting up with English Mike, 5 day trip where 9 months later we became God Parents, an overnight trip in December and then this full week trip. Each trip we keep finding that this island is exactly what we need in that we can go there, unwind, eat some good food and laugh about our Monday through Friday lives.

Now I am sure that there are some of you who look at us and say “Why do you keep doing the same thing over and over again?” They say that doing this and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Guess what friends….Isla is what we want. No excursions (well they did go fishing this year) no historic tours, no fancy resorts, and pretty much it is perfect for us. More on this later.

IMG_3799Welcome to the Family Manuel

IMG_3788Shrimp Cocktail in a Sweet Chili Sauce and Lime Juice. It was great!

IMG_3779These two! I tell ya we had a blast with them down there.

IMG_3772Playa North with the fancy boats.

IMG_3763The Future Mrs Manuel Gonzalez was mocking me as I declined a shot of “Mexican Water”

IMG_3737Not our place but this was right next door to our joint.

IMG_3734Margarita and a beer – Lord knows I had a couple of these down there

IMG_3803Like I said the food really sucked down there too

Like I said, we had a good time down in Mexico. More pics to come.

What do you mean I can’t smoke a Cigar on this Fucking Subway?

And we are back from vacation! I will put more down on this worthless dribble of a blog later this week. We got back Saturday night and I pretty much spent all day yesterday getting ready for a busy week. Seriously, while I type this I am getting the stink eye from Mary Louise. Here are just some pictures from this week and I promise to get back on the horse this week.

IMG_3775I smoked at least 2 Cigars before “My Russian Brother from Another Mother” took emails from his favorite former customer. God Bless you S(Squared) for covering for me. The Ribs and Shoulder are on me this Saturday!

IMG_3731These Two having their “Virgin Strawberry Frozen Drinks”

IMG_3733I promise that we were just drinking Lime Juice……That isn’t Salt On those drinks

IMG_3760Then there is this one! Got to love spending time with the Ponzi Scheme first Hurdle!

IMG_3738Who knew that my favorite Breakfast Food Stand was closed on Sunday’s?

IMG_3757Sunday’s really Suck on Isla Mujeres

IMG_3747Still Mad at you RJ for this! We will have another discussion about this again this weekend.

It was a great vacation and even better with great friends and family.

New Joints in San Pedro

As I reported EARLIER we visited some new joints while down in San Pedro. Also on our visit we got to see some new improvements to some of the ones that we saw when we were down 2 years ago at Easter. I hear the grumblings of people all the time; I miss the hand drawn ferry, it used to be much quieter, so much traffic, and so on. Hell, the bad thing is that the majority of that comes from the bitter Ex-Pats who we hung out with on the Poker Run north of the bridge on Saturday.

Sorry Folks but San Pedro back in the early 1980’s will never happen again. Change is¬†inevitable and it can either be good change or bad change. I am not going to open this up for discussion but personally I think the change on San Pedro is for the good. More people means more money, more jobs, more housing, and more infrastructure. Sure I miss the bumpy ass roads north of the island but do you know how nice it is to make it to Truck Stop without having to stop to re-adjust your balls?

I have friends on the island who tell me that business is booming and people are wishing to buy property on the island all the time. I say we should welcome them with open arms because with that extra cash flow maybe someone can put in a full time hospital or clinic on the island. It isn’t a big secret that “One should never get sick in Belize” so maybe this will be the next big thing. I still recall when there wasn’t a hyperbaric chamber on the island and this when there were dive shops going up every day.

IMG_2705Here is Crocs north of the bridge. A huge 3 story sport bar/restaurant that has killer views of the back of the island.

IMG_2694I have to hand it to the owners and investors of The Truck Stop. Huge gamble but they are printing money hand over fist. Great concept (shipping containers aka food stations) and since our last visit they added 2 more containers, built a stage and even have a friggin pool out back. Staff is wonderful and we wish them the best. They really are a great addition to the island.

IMG_2695Family Feud Night!

IMG_2696Picnic Tables in the middle and plenty of seating.

IMG_2697Great family place to bring the kids too!

IMG_2725The old Standby – Estel’s by the sea. They added a bigger bar (this space used to be Charlie’s dining room table) and the staff as always is top notch!

IMG_2704Talk about re-purposing something in San Pedro – This is the urinal from Croc’s

IMG_2702I snicker each time!

IMG_2713Like a Phoenix re-birth from the ashes The Palapa Bar is back! Here we are working our poor friend Rony to death and also twisting the jealousy knife into the backs of Bill and Roxanne a tad too!

IMG_2718What you can’t really see is the Stage 2 Sunburn on this poor girl or that she did a pretty good job belting out some Janis Joplin

IMG_2706One thing that should always stay the same is the shrimp sticks at Blue Water Grill. Still as good as the first time we had them!

IMG_6605That and Kitty, she never changes!

IMG_2693There is always one couple in the bunch!

Not pictured: Wayo’s New Joint over the water or a bunch of new places north of the bridge. Including…….wait for it………an Irish Bar! Don’t the friggin Irish have enough places to drink already?

Last Monday I was in Belize!

Sorry for the lack of posts from last week. I learned something very important from a whirlwind trip down south and back. My 47 year old ass doesn’t bounce back from 4 days of boozing to roll into work like I used to do. I need to start planning some “rehab” days following those trips from now on. Or I just quit making it a point to drink with Kitty, Dita, Rambo, Islenutt, Otter, Otter’s wife, Jean, Ruthie and some others while down in Belize!

It was a great trip and it was great to see some of our friends and family. Granted the 80+ degrees and sunshine sure as shit helped but we had a blast. We got to eat at some of our normal haunts; Wild Mango’s, Blue Water Grill, Celi’s Deli, Truck Stop and we got to see some new joints on the island as well.

This trip we tried a new joint to lay our head at night and I have to say that the Conch shell is perfect for those who want simple accommodations and to be in town. We found our room to be perfect for our trip and just outside of the Carnival “Painting Zones” that can be trouble if you aren’t paying attention. Thanks to Kitty Cynthia Angelica for procuring the room and as luck would have it I got to speak to my Belizean Mother (Flora) on the phone last week when I was trying to pay for the Tropic Flight. Anyway here are some pictures from the trip.

IMG_2723Monday Morning I am sitting on my veranda with a cigar (of course) and I see the kids heading to school. Talk about a helluva commute.

IMG_2691You don’t see the Nissan Vans painted Taxi yellow very often in San Pedro. We asked him how much it would cost to take us to 1st Ave and 71st street.

1E0182E0-54C0-4392-9F4E-CCDA478270E7Bitter Sweet – We were walking by Carnival Saturday night when they were dedicating this year’s Carnival to Felix Ayuso who was tragically murdered last year. The proceeds of this shirt were to go to his charity that he worked so hard for; Aids Awareness. I pretty much emptied my wallet for the $10US shirt and told them to keep the change. Dance on Felix, Dance on!

IMG_2701The Sargasso (stinky seaweed) was pretty fierce this trip.

IMG_2698Drunk Chinese Food goes together like Fat Kids and Chocolate Cake!

IMG_2721All is right with the world, I got to hang with Ruthie and Chunky!

53999038645__49EE116F-19B7-479C-B781-2D1364D039CFI “may” have had a couple of these while down in San Pedro.

IMG_2724Almost got my ass divorced while down in Belize. No Otter and I didn’t get caught checking out the girl who was sunbathing with only dental floss for bikini bottoms. (oh wait was that supposed to be a thought bubble?) I promised the wife that I would procure her a Chicken Tostada from Celi’s Deli. Albeit it was for breakfast on departure day but I got her some.

IMG_2679You can’t feel the cold but it was a brisk 34 degrees on Tuesday the morning we got up from Belize. Next time I am bringing more money and we are staying longer.

It was great seeing everyone; including those who were calling me out on golf carts for not seeing them yet (I see you Yas) and next trip we will stay longer.

BONUS SUNDAY FUNDAY – Pictures of the “Past” Week

Between Corny Lenten Jokes (which I might add I am getting a lot of suggestions from my FB friend’s children) and getting back into the swing of things I have been busy. Add to that I came down with a nasty cold and was out of commission Friday evening and all day Saturday…By the way Momma now has what I have and is enjoying poor health. This weekend was very, very low key. Here are some pics that I didn’t use in this weeks blogs post.

IMG_2722Weather the Morning I got up that we were to head back to New York.

IMG_2700The best cigar of the day should always be smoked before 8AM

IMG_2714Love me some Charlie and the DH Folks

IMG_2685The Day before our departure in New York

IMG_2699Stark difference 24 hours later if you ask me.

IMG_2728When we landed in New York. Feels like 26 pretty much means “kick in the balls” cold

IMG_2730This is just mean

IMG_2734New Joint that opened down the street from us. The yellow sign is hard to read but it says “QUESO” and it blinks to “UES” so it has to be good.

IMG_2731Needed some ‘light lunch’ on arrival day. It tasted like shit.

IMG_2732Back in the US and our huge apartment

IMG_2738Any Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt fans out there? Filming down the block on Tuesday.

Have a good week and make it count. I am going to Netti Pot my nose again.