That Crappy little Island that I need to move to

Lets Take One of The Worst Things Imaginable – Moving! But Let’s Do That Shit in NYC During A Pandemic

Yeah, talk about some crazy stuff but hey, we have already paddled out on the surfboard some 4 3/4 years ago when we moved here. Why not keep the dream alive.

Back Story – When we got the offer and made the decision to move up here almost 5 years ago we sought council from The Murphranks. They both told us that we needed to prioritize the following items;

  • Be as Close to Public Transportation (Subway, Bus, Regional Lite Rail)
  • Avoid at all costs any type of a Pre-War Walk Up
  • I am sure there are more but I those two have burned some good Brain Cells in the short time we have been living here.

First Apartment on First Avenue was a dream now looking back. It was part of the Hospital so we didn’t have to hunt for a place to live and it was another stress item we didn’t have to worry about. It was perfect except for the fact that I had to walk about 15 minutes to and from each day to get the 6 Train at 68/Lexington. I did this for about 17 months and let me tell you it sucked. That all changed when the Q Train opened up on January 1, 2017. Ironically we ran into ole Andrew that morning but I digress.

First Apartment had the following things that we were growing accustomed to and it because a priority;

  • Doorman Building – Not so much to open your door but to know that if the front door didn’t shut behind another resident meant it was a safety/security issue.
  • Package Room – This is a HUGE problem when people BC (Before Covid-19) would have to have signatures on deliveries. People in the Package Room would sign for our shit
  • Elevator Banks that would accommodate the number of residents.
  • Closeness to a Grocery Store – Right Across the Street
  • Closeness to bars – This isn’t so much of a good thing.
  • Laundry in Building – Who wants to schlep stuff

So when Geranium and I decided to move from the UES place we looked at a couple of places or more areas. We decided on Downtown Brooklyn for a couple of reasons as once again our priorities were changing. She was going to be on the road more so I needed more amenities to keep my sanity. I mean we looked at Fidi (No Grocery Store), Battery Park City (bitch of a walk to one subway line) and Murray Hill (I wasn’t a fan for some reason)

What our new priorities were included;

  • Ability to have someone swing by and get keys from the front desk to walk the Monkey Heads and leave keys for our cousin.
  • Subway Options – I had over 16 different lines I could choose from to get into the city.
  • Needed an Outdoor space or place for me to go work in the building.
  • Exercise and Possible instructed classes that we could join.
  • Washer/Dryer in Unit – Well that is now a bonus
  • Roof Terrace and Grilling Pavilions
  • Closeness to Murphranks (yeah we kind of like drinking with you)
  • Ease of getting to all 3 airports for Geranium. She can actually get to EWR, JFK, LGA in about an hour from our location.
  • Bomb Dot Com View of Manhattan – Full disclosure – I signed the lease on this joint before Geranium did because it had a killer view of the Empire State and Manhattan.
  • Then COVID-19 Hit in early March.

So our lease is up in July and the leasing company wanted to know if we wanted to sign a 1 year or 2 year lease. Of course with a nice little additional percentage on the lease. I am not one to shit on people but they wouldn’t let us go month to month so we are off like a Prom Dress. Just so we are clear – the Front Desk and Maintenance Staff – we love each and everyone of you. But the management/ownership company not so much.

So what are our new Priorities and what priority is now been relegated to the bottom of the list you ask? God Bless Geranium because she found us a place on West 39th Between 9/10 Avenues I think in 2 days. The location is considered Midtown West/Hudson Yards as it is nestled north of Chelsea, South of Hells Kitchen and West of The Garment District.

So here are our New COVID-19 priorities now and what doesn’t really matter so much now;

  • Outdoor space – No, it is not so that I can smoke cigars, I don’t think they are allowed on balconies anyway. We need to air out and get sun.
  • Smaller Building/Less Floors/Footprint – They only allow 2 people in our elevator now. We have 3 elevators dedicated to floors 30 – 55 and you do the math. Oh and there are times when the door opens I can see the fear in people’s eyes when I want to enter with Maya. Current wait time is about 10 minutes during peak times. And on the day I am writing this elevator #3 is down….again.
  • Neighborhood Residential Density Footprint – Where we are in Downtown Brooklyn we have tiny sidewalks. We also have tons of residential high rises and the Brownstones from Boerum Hill. Sadly we have to give up the sidewalks to the kids. Where we are going according to Mr. 3 First Names is very quiet.
  • Washer/Dryer in Suite – Absolutely now!
  • Grocery Store/Pharmacy Nearby – We live above the same grocery store I visit once a week 4 blocks away. Haven’t figured out where the CVS is but I am happy about the closness of my grocery store. Having it across the street in the UES was paramount.

Not a Priority at this Time (For obvious reasons)

  • Closeness to the Subways – That’s a big ole nope. The friggin NYSE told their members that they would not be allowed to take public transportation if they were going to be on the floor until a vaccine is created. The New York Stock Exchange folks…..
  • Amenities/Common Space – Yeah why am I going to pay 3% more at our current place to not use it?
  • Nearby Bars/Restaurants – We ain’t going anywhere for a while folks. And any New Yorker is stupid to think we are going back to what it was before. At least till we get some type of handle on this virus.
  • Commute to the office – I am actually now the only rep for the Double Decker Bus Company who lives closest to our office at 37 and 7th Avenue. I ain’t going there….
  • Close to stuff – We are not too far from Penn Station and Madison Square Garden now. Like we will there anytime soon.

I know I rambled but actually I have some folks who are also in the same boat as us and I wanted to verbalize how priorities have shifted for us. We are very excited for this new place. So is Maya, she is so over having to pee at 16 Sycamore Park. Also her boyfriend George is gone because our current building did her mom dirty too..

Back to the isle of Manhattan!

Layout of the new place. Trust me when I say that we have already figured out how to maximize space
Rule Number One – Never buy for the new place but I got my eye on you there Boo!
Never in a million years….
Already head of the game getting boxes.
Now in the top 5 important items.
When we saw him at the Second Avenue Subway opening.
I like the job that Andrew is doing in response to COVID-19 and being the father figure that we need.
I do love that his own brother called him out with that “Double Barrel Shotgun Mounted on the front of his face!” We need to laugh folks.

More to come, more to come.

So Who in the Bloody Hell is Cindy V. and or John Robo and why are they still saying these groaner jokes.

If you are not on the book of Face this entry is going to be somewhat of a boring post. You see many moons ago for lent one year I decided that I would give up good jokes and post each day a ‘dad’ joke. A number of years ago my friend Cindy V would also join in and it started as a contest on who could post the worst/groaner jokes. This year we started back on the jokes and then COVID-19 happened and we all had to shelter in place. Traditionally when Easter happens Cindy and I ease up and we stop polluting your timeline with our jokes. Well some of you messaged me and Cindy asking if we would press on. Then a couple of weeks Cindy had to go to the mainland for a couple days at the hospital. Personally I can’t believe that she got a boob job during the middle of a pandemic. But to each his own. While Cindy was away I had some of my friends fill in for her and post on her behalf.

Naturally some of my friends have inquired as to who in the bloody hell is Cindy V? I also have noticed some extra friend requests from people on the island. Since I am going to tag Cindy on this post we both took a question and Answer Survey.

So without Further Adieu I present Tink’s Mom.

Why is she doing Ja Morrant Goggles?

Who are you – Cindy V. a.k.a. Tinker’s mum.
Where were you born – Bournemouth in the UK. Where all have you lived – United Kingdom, Monaco, France, Egypt, Mexico, Belize

How many Different Countries have you visited in your lifetime – 37 – I had to get an alphabetical list up on google. Do you know how many times I got interrupted during that exercise? Where are you currently sheltering in place – North San Pedro, Belize. It’s hot, humid, remote and the power keeps cutting out.

Tell me about your family – The other half is The Commodore (that isn’t his real name even though he thinks it is). I have 2 geriatric monochromatic pets, Molly Polly the most evil old lady dog ever and a fat cat with half a tail called Basil. He was named after my favourite football player, Basile Boli. And a very tall 7.5 year old evil genius child – ask her to do her evil laugh, we’re not joking…. What do you do for a living – A lot. I exhaust my friends and family.

How did you meet Carbunkle Trumpet – Clueless but it probably involves Tacogirl. Most of the trouble in my life involves Tacogirl. Where would you rather be sheltering in place – In a pub.

This gets over and done with where are you first traveling – A quick check in with the family (UK and France) and then off to Asia.
What is the one thing that you miss going through all of this – my savings.

What is the most powerful thing that you read, watched, or listened to during this – My daughter break her wrist really chuffing badly and watching her bravery and resilliance. She is a rock star but man can she scream really loudly. Toilet Paper Roll Over or Under – Who cares as long as there’s some close to hand.

We all have talked about our Secret Silly thing we have done during this Pandemic, spill it – I watched Tiger King. What is the one thing that you wish you could be eating and in their restaurant what is it? – Fresh artichoke carpaccio made by my brother, in the upper garden next to the pool in Peillon.

Who is the first person you are going to thank when you can – My friend D. Feathers (name changed) for giving us non-stop help when we ran dry of booze, when we broke our wrist, when we lacerated our foot (man can I scream really loudly too), when we were forced into another 2 week strict quarantine further to medevac, for bringing us shopping, for forcing her friend into being our gopher and standing in lines when we weren’t allowed to, and the rest, and the rest. She has ordered me to stop saying thank you or she’ll stop helping. Boxer, Brief, Granny Panties, Thong, or Commando – It’s too hot for any clothes let alone undies.

Black and white is better when you are chubby.

Who are you – John Robo/Carbunkle Trumpet

Where were you born – Hospital of course….Oh Memphis TN in hospital that is now part of St. Jude Children’s research hospital.

Where all have you lived – Memphis, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Downtown Memphis (It really is two different places) Upper East Side of Manhattan, Downtown Brooklyn and coming in July Hudson Yards back in Manhattan!

How many Different Countries have you visited in your lifetime – Well over 20

Where are you currently sheltering in place – Brooklyn New York. Not the most enviable place given the current environment but I can always now say that I am a New Yorker and I have lived through hell.

Tell me about your family – Wife is Geranium (that isn’t her real name but we go by alias’ here) we have a 7yo dog named Maya and we have an invisible child called “the little bastid” He is 17 and still in the 5th grade

What do you do for a living – I am an out of work stripper who drives the tour bus at Graceland (I am happily employed but I don’t talk business on this media)

How did you meet Cindy (Carbunkle Trumpet) – I think that I virtually met her when her and (Name Deleted) were living together with Molly the dog. They were friends with TacoGirl and (Name Deleted but the same name too) and were featured on her blog. We became friends on FB and then I think the first (in real life) met her when she was working the bar at Pedro’s. I think the bond that brought us together was when Geranium was going through her bump in the road with Breast Cancer. Cindy also was doing a bump in the road and we kind of felt like kindred spirits. When we started the Lenten Jokes it was tongue and cheek. Last year when Notre Dame in Paris burned, I asked Cindy (we were going into Holy Week and that is when I turn my jokes into somewhat tacky Catholic jokes) should we stop or pause. Her comment was “Press on! Churches are old and they burn! We shall Keep Going!”

Now we are going through a Pandemic and coming soon are Murder Hornets – Cindy are we the cause of all this shite?

Ok, now lets have some fun

Where would you rather be sheltering in place – If it were domestically I would say New York but with a bigger place and a place to smoke my cigars – Internationally I (stop it) I would be ok living in a big place in Belize with Cindy, Andrew, Mum and Tink with all of our dogs. At least I could spoil the ever loving shite out of Tink and teach her how to speak southern.

This gets over and done with where are you first traveling – I want to go see the clear canals of Venice before we F them up again.

What is the one thing that you miss going through all of this – Sitting in a Dive bar in the East Village and enjoying the smells of stale beer, bleach and urine from the bathroom.

What is the most powerful thing that you read, watched, or listened to during this – The Last Sunday of Jazz Fest WWOZ played past performances of artists. They re-played Bruce Springsteen when he did Jazz Fest following Hurricane Katrina. Then to double down they played The Neville Brothers  on the Gentility Stage and Aaron Neville sang “Amazing Grace then 3 little birds”.

Toilet Paper Roll Over or Under – Always Over!

We all have talked about our Secret Silly thing we have done during this Pandemic, spill it – Yes I ironed my sheets and smoked a cigar in the middle of a Nor’Easter

What is the one thing that you wish you could be eating and in their restaurant what is it? – In Paris there is a French Bistro near the Eiffel Tower that has the best French Onion Soup I have ever had. Going there!

This answer is going to be different because thankfully the Pandemic didn’t hurt the Country of Belize as it did US (So Cindy feel free to change it up)  – Who is the first person you are going to thank when you can – The frontline healthcare workers and the ones who came to New York to care for us. The ones who have to ride the subways scared to death. The ones who were just as scared as the patients they were caring for. I (and I doubt visitors will ever be allowed in hospitals again) am bringing food, drinks, flowers, bottles of Jameson to each one of them and hugging them and thanking them. I mean this is going to be to the point of Financial Uncomfortableness for me, they and the Police, Sanitation, Delivery Guys, Grocery Store folks, anyone who is Essential you are getting love from Robo! . Then I am going to sit my shrinking ass on the Canyon of Heroes with my Cowbell when we have the biggest Ticker Tape Parade For Them.

Ok So I can’t leave you with a Tear Jerker – Boxer, Brief, Granny Panties, Thong, or Commando – You first Cindy!

So I hope you had a good laugh and distraction. Thanks Cindy for playing along.

So What Are You Watching/Listening To These Days.

The other Day (I think it was Saturday) LJZ texted me saying that she was bored and thinking of opening a bottle of Rose. I told her that by her texting me at 6:32AM that she needed to go find chores and that she couldn’t start drinking till the Tall Pines Show that evening.

She asked what I was talking about so I sent her an Instagram Link that the husband wife combo called The Tall Pines was putting on another show that evening from their rooftop on the UWS. I also told her about DJ Mickey Perez was going on that evening. I have seen him spin at Robert Bar when we were allowed to go outside. Also booked that Saturday was one of my favorite singers from Losers Lounge, Leslie Goshko was playing her virtual Piano slot live from her apartment.

LJZ was enthralled as to why I know all this worthless stuff. I told her that the majority of those performers were from Losers Lounge shows. I am sure you have seen me post about them from the past. So in an effort to give you some value to this blog I am going to share with you what live virtual shows we enjoy and where you can find them.

  • DJ Bobby Smith (Facebook Live) – Good friend of mine who spins it old school from Club Corona. His camera person is his wife T and we love them both. Shows are always on Friday and in an effort not to F this up I encourage you go to his page and he will post the time.
  • Leslie Goshko (Facebook Live) – She will play on Sid’s Gold Piano Bar and she is a regular on the Losers Lounge Show. Her co-worker Tater (the cat) has been known to make a cameo. She plays on Saturday and I think Thursdays but go over to the Sid’s Gold Piano and they will push the info to you.
  • Heavy Light Show (I heart Radio – WDST – Radio Woodstock) this actually is a live radio show that goes on from 7pm to 10pm eastern. Ida the DJ really plays some good stuff. Give that a look too!
  • Joe McGinty (Facebook Live) – He is the owner and founder of Losers Lounge and co-owner of Sid’s Gold Piano Karaoke Bar in the East Village. He plays on Thursday’s from the Sid’s Gold page and it is nice to see him play a freaking baby grand piano!
  • Tall Pines (Instagram Live) – Husband wife team that plays from their roof. Connie is a back up dance on Losers Lounge and they put out some great music. Go like them and they can post when they are playing
  • DJ Mickey Perez – (Instagram Live) – Cuban Latin American music that is really cool since I have not a lot of exposure of it. Like him on Instagram and he will let you know.
  • Jason D. Williams (Facebook Live) – The one and the same Jason D. Williams who got his fame from playing the piano at Mallards in the Peabody Hotel. Like his page and he will let you know when he is playing. A must watch for my fellow New Yorkers.
  • Crazy Canucks Beach Bar Hermit Crab Races – (Facebook Live every Tuesday at 7PM Eastern Standard Time) – Put it this way, there are not words that I can describe this. Husband & Wife Team who do virtual Hermit Crab races and they take venmo to give to their staff. Do this and you can see a big man rocking a pair of Pink Crocks!
What else are you going to do while you drink?
New York Folk – Go find him on Facebook and Like his page.
Always a good show and who doesn’t love Prince
Always a good show and she rocks a Tambourine!
You never know who is going to sit in on Leslie’s set
His washing his hands song is funny!
Ask her to Play Freebird!
I see he is wearing my hat again!
I kid but these two do good things down in Belize for so many! Tuesday Nights
And you can name a crab too!

So what are you watching/following these days?

A Trip Down Memory/Middle Street on Sunday. Lots of S/O’s

Got a lot on my mind as of late and I needed to find something to occupy my day on Sunday. As you saw from my post on Saturday I was looking for stuff to do so I cleaned the oven. Social Media was getting heavy so I decided to re-read two of my favorite Bloggers down in Belize. I actually emailed Scoop and Taco Girl to tell them what I was doing. They both will have seen the spike in their account metrics and wonder what was up. Each of the blog platforms give you idea of how many visitor click on posts and what country they were from.

I read both of the blogs to the start and I have to say this was a welcome distraction. Granted I didn’t click every post but I was amazed at how, going back to their starts how they have evolved. Me, my goofy ass and this worthless dribble….I still can’t spell for shit.

Below are some screen shots I grabbed and if you are one of those ACMB’rs you may want to take a look back as well. There are some great old pics of those early pub crawls. Thank you Rebecca and Laurie for a much needed distraction.

So here is Scoop aka Rebecca – She originally is from New Jersey and lived in Manhattan as a bond trader till she moved to Belize in 2007. Originally going to chill for a while she then babysat a bar as the manager for a spell. She now lives up north of the bridge with her boyfriend who runs the Cayo Frances Farm & Fly.
She started https://www.sanpedroscoop.com/ and gives you a great look at the country as a whole.
This is Taco Girl on the left. Laurie moved to San Pedro in 2006 from Canada. She has a lot of great information about San Pedro. She can be found at
https://tacogirl.com/

From TacoGirl – Spurs and Simon at BC’s. Seriously ACMB’rs there is some good stuff in the archives
From SanPerdo Scoop – God I miss Gino and the Shake Shackers
From TacoGirl – Pedro’s from back in the day.
From San Pedro – Wade the Gringo is the only guy I know who got a ‘cease and desist’ from a major Burger Chain in the US.
TG – I love this picture for so many reasons. Sadly, the bar and that guy in the white tanktop are no longer with us.
SPS – I post this picture in the fact that Scoop and I prefer those older cougars and sugar daddy’s as both our spouses are older than us.
It is also a fact that Jeff and I share the same OB/GYN.
Ok so there are 3 doctors on the island and the town OB/GYN is also the doc you go for stiches, general illness and I have visited Doctor Gonzales when I had a bug bite that got infected. Jeff took the tip of his toe off and needed stiches.
He is doing fine by the way
TG – I picked it for 2 reasons – I can’t believe how young the Kinnion Kids are in this picutre and how great Laurie looks now since she lost a bunch of weight and has kept it off.
SPS – Here Scoop played off that she was interviewing this couple when it was secretly a proposal that the groom worked up. And Conch Creative was in on the charade too so they could get some pics for the real proposal.
Reb – You ever keep up on them?
TG – Stop Laughing Travelqueen, Dita, Isla and DCG
SPS – This is Maya from Conch Creative
Oh and don’t get your nose out of whack Badass Auntie.
I am getting to you this weekend. (oh that sounded cheeky)
TG – What tha? Taco Girl blogged about me?
This was when I was cooking chickens in Kitty & Shuffles’ courtyard when they owned their B&B
SPS – When the guy formally known as Prince came to Belize
Anyone remember this one? Here is Muppet on her faux Wedding.
For those of you who read those crappy jokes this is Cindy who provides the other half of those jokes.
If you can’t tell that’s SPS and she snuck over to Caye Calker to stalk celebs
TG – I love this one. This is her at her Surprise 50th birthday.
SPS – The production assistant who tried to block the pictures of the Bachelor.
TG – The Surprise Wedding Vowel Renewal of Otter and Mrs. Otter.
SPS – One of her first posts.
TG – You Fuckers Molested Flat CBT
TG – Back when people would jump out of perfectly good airplanes in Belize.

It was great afternoon doing nothing. I hope you enjoyed the walk down Memory Lane.

But Did You Die?

A couple of weeks back I kept on seeing posts about it being cold by my friends in Belize. Scoop had posted that she was freezing to which I responded that she was number one. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees in Manhattan and we were getting some snow/sleet and it was miserable. She fessed up that she was in sweat pants.

Now before I really piss off everyone on Ambergris Caye I guess I better come clean. I too have been on the island during a ‘cold’ front and have even donned a light jacket. Mind you I was still wearing shorts and if you think for one second I had socks on under my flip flops…..awe hell no. To my buddies down there I get it, when you are used to temps in the 80’s & 90’s anything cooler and you are cold.

It all comes to what you are conditioned and used to. Back when we lived in Memphis during those lovely high humidity summers it wasn’t a big deal for us to vacation down in New Orleans during Swamp Ass summers. We moved up here and sure I am not thrilled about Nor’easters but we have gotten used to ‘brick’ cold days.

I recall when Florita A. would come to Memphis as a kid. The only time I would ever see her wearing socks was when she came to see us. Naturally she would get a summer cold and we would have to take her to the pediatrician but I get it. She wasn’t used to Southern Summer Air Conditioning going 24/7. Now she lives in Colorado and I bet her little ass is wearing more than socks!

I used to wonder what was up with Kitty and LuLu when we would meet up with them at Dale Hollow Lake. Here we are on the boat, the sun is shining and both of them are wearing bathing suits and sweat shirts. Once you get used to a climate your body acclimates to it.

So I will let it slide this time San Pedro, but I will still call you wimps when the temps get below 80.

Like I said, my nose was itching! That white stuff on my hat, that’s sleet.
That is funny!

So here is to hope that you guys down in San Pedro get a real snow storm or temps in the mid to low 60’s.

2019 in Review – What Did We Do Again?

On the back of the door in our apartment we have one of those old school calendars. We use it for scheduling shit and to make sure that we keep the dog alive with our schedules. I took a look at it this morning as I was getting the Black Eyed Peas and Greens on the stove and here is what we had to show for with Trips;

  • Geranium was away 151 days in 2019. Mind you 31 of those days were when she was in Switzerland/France. That actually made us both appreciate our time together more and take stock in our relationship which made it stronger.
  • We saw Elton John and his Farewell Tour at The Barclays
  • Got to experience The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. That was a killer event.
  • While Geranium was away Mr. 3 First Names & Lady Lawyer and I went to see Jose Andres at his book signing.
  • Got our Southern Redneck on thanks to BK and saw Hank Jr and Skynrd at Forrest Hills.
  • Rang in the New Year at the Barclays Center with The Strokes.
  • Oh and we had dinner at Per Se too.
  • And so that I am not a complete prick I am going to end this list that we also did some horse gambling at Aquaduct Race Track.

Regarding Trips Away, I am kind of embarrassed to divulge this to you dozen readers. I mean this list is somewhat obscene. Mind you we were able to take advantage of Geranium’s international trips and my ability to fly stand by.

  • Hung with PNG Mike, Ellie & JD in London and watched 6 Nations Rugby with them.
  • Visited Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas
  • Made a trip Upstate with Vivian and Stone
  • Made warm weather trips to; Cancun, Belize, Fort Meyers, Gulf Shores, and Dale Hollow Lake.
  • Went over to Philly for a BBQ at Pepe’s house.
  • Got to experience Barcelona for the First Time. (Got to go back)
  • I did 48 hours in Switzerland to see Geranium and imagine that..it was raining!
  • Made it to Memphis for Thanksgiving and for a work trip in September.
  • Got to eat some low country cooking with the ChoHo’s in Charleston South Carolina.

All in all it was a good year for us for doing the fun shit. Granted I wondered why our bank account has been low but now I know why I haven’t been able to see my feet in months.

Photo by Toria of Blue Water Grill down in Belize
Charleston South Carolina with these two!
Thank God Geranium is Fluent in how to Speak Randy!
We got to go back one of these day!
I booked a whole week with these knuckleheads and I loved every minute of it!
I love this man!
Lausanne Switzerland and the snow topped alps
The rain does happen in Spain!
Oh Maya had a blast while we were away too!
Thanks Viv and Stone!
Rain in London….how odd

It was a good time for trips and shit that we saw in 2019.

Bonus Pictures of Belize (borrowed from The Windy City Brit aka Toria)

I can’t recall all the times I have been to Belize over the years. I probably have in my storage unit in Memphis over 1000+ pictures of the island over the years. I know this is going to sound somewhat calloused but I take a lot of what Belize has for granted. Obviously there is nothing better than sitting on the dock or patio smoking a cigar while the sun comes up over the reef. I can’t get that view here in Manhattan. But I notice that I put my blinders on when I am going around town and never stop to appreciate the little things.

One thing that I always enjoy is looking at pictures of the island from other people’s perspective. You stop to glance at them from your phone and it brings you back. You remember that view of the reef from a palapa. You remember the sheer terror you had as a child when Manuel tells you to get in the water at Hol Chan while the nurse sharks are circling the boat. You then pee yourself a little when you later realize that Manuel snuck some cut up sardines into your bathing suit pockets and the yellow snappers are swarming you like mad bees! I am still not happy about that Tio Manuel. I discuss this with my shrink on a regular basis.

So this past week The Windy City Brit aka Toria has been uploading pictures to her facebook page. Let me tell you that when you are suffering from a Sinus/Upper Respiratory infection those pictures bring it all back.

I asked her if I could swipe a couple and I wanted to give my 11 stalkers some bonus pictures. @Marty Casado – Feel free to post on the Pic of the day if you like. Thank you Windy City Brit, your pictures put a smile on my face this past week.

Old Rubys on the left and the Belize Chocolate Company.
I recall when Legend’s was the place to go north of the cut. Thank God some guys said “Lets put some sea containers on a plot of land on the lagoon side. Lets make it bar and food court with a stage.”
10 years ago you were driving at full speed because the mosquitos were going to lift you off the golfcart. Now there is a great place to watch the sunset and have a beer.
I want to go back. How perfect is this?
You can almost hear the reef from here.
I can never get bored of these pictures.
Little Bungalows at Secret Beach. It has been about 4 years since I was there last
Such great people who run this joint. Oh and the food is pretty spot on too!
This was me going to the store to get food for Friendsgiving today. Do I look like I am fucking happy?

Again, thank you Windy City Brit for posting the pictures and it was great meeting you and The Movie Star.

Pics of the Week Live From Belize!

Too Many Good Pictures not to post somewhere.

You Coming or Going? The Old Veteran Jet Holland!
Oh He is getting Bouchy!
Slow Your Role Tropic! It isn’t even the 15th of November and The Tree is UP?
Such a great addition to the island. Great Staff and Owners!
If you have to have a sign then there must have been an incident.
Over Achievers!
Good to See the Bronx Representing!
Note To Self – Only get on Boats that Have Bars on them!
View North from CV
The Famous Shrimp Sticks from Blue Water Grill!
Catching Up with CNN Belize Felipe!
Geranium – Please take a picture of that for me.
Me – Ok, I will but may I ask why?
Geranium – I want to make that my signature on inner office emails.
Me – Good Call
Did you know it was his birthday?
And that he is the same age as Belikin only makes it better!
View of the Pool from CV

It was a great trip!

The “Otter is 100BZE/50US” Birthday Celebration

As previously mentioned in last weeks worthless dribble post we just returned from a quick 4 night trip to Belize. Now that I have ridden the subways with my mosquito bites and sunburn a couple of times I am ready to give a proper description of the shenanigan’s that went on down in Belize. Hate to say it but if you are one of those Lurkers I am going to disappoint you. What goes on down in San Pedro stays in San Pedro. Sorry that are the rules.

Now before you think all are safe, I am not going to lie one bit. I swallow hard every time I see that The Windy City Brit posts some pictures to the FB page thinking she took pictures of that drunk guy on Friday night. But she is a good soul and would not do that to me the person who got overserved. Small bills right T?

So let me give you some back story to this Great weekend extravaganza. About 2 and a half years I get a notification that there will be a celebration down in Belize for Otter’s Birthday. I go to the calendar to circle those dates. The dates don’t match up. I recall that Otter and I are close to the same age as we are more of the junior members of the ACMB. Then I realize that he is inviting me to an event 2 and a half years in advance. What an asshole!

That is kind of brilliant if you ask me. This way you can start saving up, schedule the dog/child sitters and look forward to a weekly update by Otter on the page. I am kidding, he would send updates for those of us who have never been or for those of us who forget a lot (Pug I am not looking at you) and it was fun to bust Otter’s chops. Granted he saw a tweet that I sent to Joe Belize that I was going to be on the island for his birthday celebration and didn’t realize that we had RSVP’d in the yes. We always wait till the last minute to book airfare and hotel accommodations.

Here is where Otter gets Mad Props;

  • He arranged for hotel accommodations at one of the resorts south of town.
  • Scheduled a boat/Snorkel/Booze Cruise for all members.
  • Arranged a mid day afternoon activity for those who needed to watch College Football.
  • He talked a 6 person band from Columbus Ohio to come down and play 2 nights and a split off band to play 2 shows. Oh and he was able to coordinate getting drums, PA and sound boards handled down there on the island.
  • He not only was able to bring some of us older (well not so much me or TravelQueen) ACMB members, Friends from Ohio and those who have never visited San Pedro before.
  • I am not even going to harp on his mad spread sheet skills. (Love ya Otter)

Here is what I appreciated from the weekend plans. Other than the Friday 8:30AM call to be on the dock for the Booze Cruise (you can’t drink all day if you don’t start early) that was really the only formal plans that you had to do. Trust me when I say that I have been places where you have to follow a ridged schedule and if you have ever hearded cats before…..

The other part that we really enjoyed and I mentioned it in an email to TacoGirl was that it was so much fun experiencing San Pedro thought the eyes of someone who has never been there. That I knew of there were threee couples who were first timers to the island. To watch them experience the island like we did made this trip even more memorable.

Happy Birthday Otter! You magnificent Bastard! I am so happy to have been able to share your 50th birthday celebration with friends and family.

This was a fun time on Friday!
Great Views with Great Friends. Also this is the “Before” picture when Mrs. Otter arranged for the deck chair that we were sitting on was to fall off the deck. Thanks to my cat like reflexes I was able to prevent falling to my demise.
The Fabulous Johnson Brothers *Photo Credit to Windy City Brit
Me to XXXX – You happen to be drooling, pull yourself together there XXXX
Funtimes at Camo Cantina
Not only is he 50 but he can sing a song or two too!
The Band on Saturday Night!
Broke my heart when they said they have menus and we didn’t have to order from the board.
Us and the Windy City Brit and the Movie Star
Love that I don’t have to look at high rises to see the sky!
We get it Otter, you are with the Band!
My Favorite Dancing Jewelry Designer
Wait, what does this mean we have an excuse to go back to the island with the same group? Congrats you two kids!

It was a fun long weekend and I am so grateful for the friendships that we already have and those that were started last weekend!

Would the Alumni Members of the Ambergris Caye Message Board Please Stand Up (if they can)

I have to start out by giving mad props to Otteralum (I know that is a rather strange code name but he gave it to himself) because that magnificent bastard just pulled off one helluva ACMB Reunion. Pugwash quit swearing at the laptop, your time will come….

So, we just returned from a trip to Belize, but let me go back in time for some of you younger stalkers of this worthless dribble. Before Tic Toc, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, even Myspace and Friendster there was a thing called a “Message Board” Here people could come to it and ask questions about a vacation place or rant about their favorite sporting team. In this case the Message Board was for Ambergris Caye down in Belize.

For those of us who had visited the island a number of times we would chat on either threads or in mini chat. Like I said, Social Media hadn’t launched yet and there was not a lot going on. As with any group of child like adults (much like on social media) you had some ball busting, some fights, some got kicked off and so on.

I met the bulk of the ACMB (Ambergris Caye Message Board) on one of the Boogie’s in February. I want to recall it was a poker run that TacoGirl put together and IsleNutt made bracelets with everyone’s name. Needless to say it was a great trip and then Myspace moved to Facebook so sadly the message board lost steam.

So about 2 and a half years ago Otteralum put out a “Save the Date” for his 50th birthday in Facebook. I saw it was in early November and went to put it on the calendar. But something wasn’t kosher. First of all I thought that he and I were closer in age. Then I noticed that the dates didn’t coordinate with the days of the week. Did he start drinking early and forget his birthday? Nope he sent out the invite 2 and a half years in advance. Talk about an over-achiever.

Anyway a total of 42 folks came down from the US and a good number of them were from the ACMB. It was good to see some faces that I haven’t seen in a couple years. Even as Pugwash and I spoke at breakfast about todays agenda he remarked that it was probably the first time we ever were civil to each other. I told him it was because we were both still sober but Tim knows I don’t have a beef with him. He is just a big ole hairy Teddy Bear. But with a funnier accent other than mine. Love ya Pug and Jane!

I must have been in the bathroom when they took this picture. Pretty much the whole gang!
Me and Reaper (who technically doesn’t live in the States but in Costa Rica)
Me and Tia Chocolate – (the nose above picture is a staple Carbunkle Trumpet Selfie method) Nobody wants to see my whole face.
Me and Travel Queen
Me and Muppets Go Wild
The Birthday Boy aka Otteralum (his handle is a mix of his college and that he is an alum)
Fucking Spurs and Mr Spurs! – This picture automatically put a smile on my face when I saw it. It was so great to spend time with you and Bobby. Love ya Kid!
Yep even he was amongst us too.
For those of you wondering that is a shark vertebrae anklet and it was worn by KC Jayhawk. It was gifted to me by his wife because we lost Colin 4 years ago. Oh and we all still miss the big goof he was one in a million. I am not crying, you are crying.
I got you Bro!
Travel Queen and Dita
Two Former Memphians sit at the same table on a Sunday night. What are the chances.
For those of you who don’t know this is Elbert Greer and he owns the White Sands Dive Shop. Every morning he posts the weather report for San Pedro. It keeps my sanity when we are having Cold Ass Nor’easters.
She wasn’t on the island but as I am having my last beer I notice the picture of SweetJane with Jet. We got to throw her into the mix!
Love these two! Isla this summer?
Who has two thumbs and has two beautiful women by his side as we are heading in?
This Guy!

Like I said, This was a magical trip and I am so thankful that Otter invited Geranium and I to this event. Between this group of malcontents along with Otter and Mrs. Otter’s group of friends it was one helluva party. To those who couldn’t make it, you were missed.