That Crazy Arse Carbunkle Trumpet

New Joints in San Pedro

As I reported EARLIER we visited some new joints while down in San Pedro. Also on our visit we got to see some new improvements to some of the ones that we saw when we were down 2 years ago at Easter. I hear the grumblings of people all the time; I miss the hand drawn ferry, it used to be much quieter, so much traffic, and so on. Hell, the bad thing is that the majority of that comes from the bitter Ex-Pats who we hung out with on the Poker Run north of the bridge on Saturday.

Sorry Folks but San Pedro back in the early 1980’s will never happen again. Change is inevitable and it can either be good change or bad change. I am not going to open this up for discussion but personally I think the change on San Pedro is for the good. More people means more money, more jobs, more housing, and more infrastructure. Sure I miss the bumpy ass roads north of the island but do you know how nice it is to make it to Truck Stop without having to stop to re-adjust your balls?

I have friends on the island who tell me that business is booming and people are wishing to buy property on the island all the time. I say we should welcome them with open arms because with that extra cash flow maybe someone can put in a full time hospital or clinic on the island. It isn’t a big secret that “One should never get sick in Belize” so maybe this will be the next big thing. I still recall when there wasn’t a hyperbaric chamber on the island and this when there were dive shops going up every day.

IMG_2705Here is Crocs north of the bridge. A huge 3 story sport bar/restaurant that has killer views of the back of the island.

IMG_2694I have to hand it to the owners and investors of The Truck Stop. Huge gamble but they are printing money hand over fist. Great concept (shipping containers aka food stations) and since our last visit they added 2 more containers, built a stage and even have a friggin pool out back. Staff is wonderful and we wish them the best. They really are a great addition to the island.

IMG_2695Family Feud Night!

IMG_2696Picnic Tables in the middle and plenty of seating.

IMG_2697Great family place to bring the kids too!

IMG_2725The old Standby – Estel’s by the sea. They added a bigger bar (this space used to be Charlie’s dining room table) and the staff as always is top notch!

IMG_2704Talk about re-purposing something in San Pedro – This is the urinal from Croc’s

IMG_2702I snicker each time!

IMG_2713Like a Phoenix re-birth from the ashes The Palapa Bar is back! Here we are working our poor friend Rony to death and also twisting the jealousy knife into the backs of Bill and Roxanne a tad too!

IMG_2718What you can’t really see is the Stage 2 Sunburn on this poor girl or that she did a pretty good job belting out some Janis Joplin

IMG_2706One thing that should always stay the same is the shrimp sticks at Blue Water Grill. Still as good as the first time we had them!

IMG_6605That and Kitty, she never changes!

IMG_2693There is always one couple in the bunch!

Not pictured: Wayo’s New Joint over the water or a bunch of new places north of the bridge. Including…….wait for it………an Irish Bar! Don’t the friggin Irish have enough places to drink already?


14 days can make one two week…..

I know I should keep my day job because of that groan’r. No it isn’t Lent just yet as my yearly Lenten tradition of providing you with corny kid jokes on The Book of Face. For 14 days (hopefully ending today) in a row we have had below freezing temps in Gotham. This past weekend it was BSC (Ball Shrinking Cold) as with the wind chill from the East River temps were below freezing and were -1 to -15 degrees.

Yes I know that Memphis had some cold weather and there are some who have to pay a plumber and even some of my San Pedro folks were bitching but give me a break. When you have to put more layers than an onion to take the dogs out you know it is cold. Hopefully today (Tuesday) the temps get above freezing and we break the streak. We had snow last Thursday and for all of you who think that the snow in New York is so pretty have obviously never been here a couple of days after it snows. The snow turns into New York Snow aka dirty and smelly.

IMG_2532You know it is going to be bad when they send out alerts because of weather.

IMG_2519What the Hell are These Things Used For?

IMG_2524Thanks to UWS Holly for this Gem of information. Get you a cheap pair of snow goggles during a Cyclone Bomb. Blowing Snow into your eyes sucks but wearing these helps.

IMG_2523Oh look how pretty 1st Avenue is. Yeah it sucks!

53677705979__45D17950-2FF6-4AF6-B990-81795E5E223FSnow on our window.

IMG_2537Afterwards the sidewalks are shoveled but normally you lose a couple feet to the piles of snow. This makes for lots of bottlenecks during rush hour. Especially at the corners which aren’t plowed.

IMG_2546It can be a mess if you are parked on the right side of the street. That’s where the plows push the snow. Aka your car will get blocked in! Recall that shovel in the earlier picture?

IMG_2535This dog loved the snow. Our dogs…not so much!

IMG_2538Here is what sucks about plowed streets. I can’t jaywalk as easy unless I want to mountain goat up and over the ice mountain.

IMG_2520Best Part of Thursday during the snow storm!

Hope you had a good one!


Oh is this your first time to Isla Mujeres *I have heard it both ways

So after the wedding we decided to stay one more day in Mexico and spread the wealth so we headed over to Isla Mujeres for a night. We hitched a ride with Z(squared) to the airport and then headed to ferry port. While we were on the Ultra Mar ferry there was a gentlemen behind us who was talking up 2 Canadian Tourists who were making a day trip to Isla.

Gentlemen – “Oh is this your first time to Isla?”
Tourist – “Yes, we heard that we should visit the island while we are here in Mexico.”
Gentlemen – “Well the thing about Isla is that your first trip will be for a couple hours, then your next trip will be for a couple days, next thing you will be spending a week or month here. Or in my case, years.”
Tourist – “So what makes it so special.”
Gentlemen – “Hard to describe it to someone who has never been there but between the culture, the food and the locals you will probably love it.”

So here we were heading back to Isla and the gentlemen hit the nail on the head. Way back RJ/Mal-o-rie, Mrs. Trumpet and I took a day trip to Isla. Then we stayed for 3 nights before meeting up with English Mike and then last year we spent a week on Isla. Of course the  last trip someone came back with a big souvenir but we definatly had the Isla Bug.

We hung out at North Beach after checking into our hotel in town and had dinner at our favorite restaurant on the island. Naturally drinks at Bobo’s were in order and we checked out the local drinking establishments.

IMG_2342Love the streets in Isla, small quant and cobblestoned

IMG_2343Our hotel for the night. Clean room, fridge and microwave in the room and even had an outside patio.

IMG_2345Swung by Bobo’s to check on if Olivia’s was open for Dinner that night.

IMG_2346Trust me when I say that Mrs Trumpet was excited that this joint was open on a Monday night.

IMG_2349Hey Tilapia Lover & husband and others. So the beach erosion has took a bunch out of the beach here at Phoenix. What was 3 rows of these beach beds before you walked into the water is gone. Currently there is only 1 row and it is tight to say the least.

IMG_2351We ended up heading over to the point and made camp at one of the other beach clubs. Weather was spotty and the wind was a blowing but we had a good time.

IMG_2354Tons of Kite Surfers out there this day.

IMG_2356We kept on waiting on dude to wipe out on the broken dock but he did pretty good.

IMG_2363Our Favorite Soft Shelled Crab Joint was closed on Mondays. Bummer.

IMG_2368To kill time while having some drinks we played dominos.

IMG_2374Still slays me seeing Santa stuff down in the tropics.

IMG_2370A puffy coat? Come on Man! It isn’t that cold!

A good time was had by the Trumpets even if it was only for 24 hours.





Losers Lounge Tribute to Fleetwood Mac

The first weekend of June the Losers and the Joe McGinty 7 assembled one last time before the summer break. This show was to showcase the songs from Fleetwood Mac. This time we were joined by UWS Girl and Z Squared along with the other malcontents. No assless chaps like we saw at the George Michael show which probably scared EGP but there was a good duet.

IMG_0984I need some Bongo’s! Everything is better with Bongos!

IMG_0988I pretty much peed down my leg laughing from this duet.

IMG_0983Yes she is wearing a Kaftan and probably sporting a “bump it” too!

IMG_0994Joe McGinty closing out the set

IMG_0991Why is my bartender from Max’s behind the drums?

It was a great time and this October we will be jamming to…THE M’Effin Bee Gee’s!



“I would rather go to Afghanistan than to see Eddie Money with you.”

Relax to some new of my FB friends who we met down in the DR. *who am I kidding, nobody reads this shit* Carbunkle doesn’t kiss and tell. For you 9 readers who have wondered where the hell I have been, we just returned from a quick trip to the Dominican Republic. We went down with some friends from PA and some of their invited guests. We had a blast and look forward to seeing them again at the Philly BBQ Bash this summer.

I had decided that I wasn’t going to snap a lot of pictures this trip for a couple reasons. First of all I needed a mental break. Secondly, other than S&K and Virgil I didn’t know anyone else in the group. I mean, they love that I sell tour bus tickets to tourists in the UES but someone may lose their shit like if they just found out that their child was on the roof of their home if I posted some proprietary stuff from that weekend. Here are a couple pics that I did snap.

IMG_0736Yes we are New Yorkers, Yes we are in the Dominican Republic, Yes those are Bud Red Top Beers, Stop yelling KLC Man. The Presidentes were hot that morning.

IMG_0741No I was not vacationing with the owners of the Kooky Canucks, this little fella starting drinking on Thursday morning and got more obnoxious every hour since then and hadn’t stopped. *picture taken on Sunday afternoon. #Blessyourheart #nahGoFeckYourselfdude

IMG_0740Laugh all you want at my drink but I saw these take down the ticket holder of some Eddie Money tickets late this week.

IMG_0739Overachiever Alert!

IMG_0738They didn’t have Shrimp Sticks or Sushi on Thursdays.

IMG_0743Remember the pic of the Canadian Maple Leaf towards the top? Here is his girlfriend who wanted to celebrate her 30th on the 30th in the DR. I don’t see her making it to her 40th. #blessyourheart

I will do better, I gave my work wife my Met Gala Passes since we didn’t get back till late on Monday. Hopefully she has some great pics.



A Dive Bar Find – Trailer Park Lounge & Grill

So my twitter friend @Brizzyc tweeted last weekend about being at an bar establishment that was at in Chelsea saying that New York really has it all.  I made note of it in Yelp as I am always looking for a great establishment on this island that we call home. On Sunday Mrs. Trumpet and I ventured down to The Chelsea Market but were greeted with a “Sorry Folks, Parks Closed” because they were closed for a private event. The weather was crappy on Sunday; cold and rainy and it reminded us of visting in England. Translation – we needed a drink and wanted to watch the basketball games. I found a bar on 8th Avenue on Yelp and we trudged uptown to Flight 151. The bar was somewhat busy but paying $7 for a Bud Light seemed a little steep. Add to that the bartender was not that engaged (aka probably tweeting how outlandish that United was for kicking off some non-rev 10yo girls for wearing leggings) and we started looking into finding another joint to watch the Kentucky game.

I recalled Brizzyc’s tweet and looked into how far the joint that she visited was from our current location. Turns out that Trailer Park L&G was 9 blocks away, so we took out a small loan and paid our tab. Walking up to the joint I noticed the Toilet/Ashtray out front and recalled that I had walked by it at one point. Walking into it was like walking into a time machine. You always know when you find a good bar when they are jamming B52’s Love Shack and the establishment is lit by neon and Christmas Tree Lights. Words really don’t give this joint justice so I will stop now and post the pictures.

I can see a trip to this joint when A Cup and Double Birds come up here this summer. Trust me, put this bar on your short list. The only downside to Trailer Park Lounge & Grill is that instead of ass-raping charging you $7 for a Bud Light they only charge $6.50 but you won’t mind paying this because of the décor. By the way @Brizzyc – let me know when you are heading back there. Anybody who appreciates this type of a joint has to be a good soul.

IMG_0553The Joint is on W23rd @ 8th Ave. It is hard to miss to say the least.

IMG_0554Got to love it when people think that they can charge their iFoam

IMG_0555The front room resembles a bowling Alley and is a riot!

IMG_0556No Trailer Park is complete w/o Snookie, Anna Nicole, and Tammy Faye Baker

IMG_0557Tons of Elvis stuff here too!

IMG_0558I still can’t believe that I lost my Velvet Elvis to a bad breakup. I miss that more than the bad relationship.

IMG_0559If you need to work on your BeeHive they have a dispenser in the waiting room of the Rest Rooms

IMG_0560Pocket Combs? That is new to me!

IMG_0561Love the Cigarette hanging out of the Mannequin’s mouth.

IMG_0562Tonya Harding, she put the Capital T in Trailer Park Trash

IMG_0563Yep that is an old time Airstream on the wall.

IMG_0564The Grill – They have Tater Tots and Cheese! If the former Neighbor makes it up here we will have to take her here for sure.

IMG_0566The Bar Proper

IMG_0567The view of the joint from the back of the house

IMG_0568I wonder if the bird drinks beer here too

IMG_0569The bar is an old Bowling Alley Lane

IMG_0570Seriously I need to find me a Velvet Elvis Tapestry. I would hang it over the bed!

I have a feeling that the next time we find our way in Chelsea this will be on the short list to visit again. Brizzyc – have you ever visited Rudy’s on 8th Ave? You need to put that on your short list.



A unique way to ask for money

Between New Orleans, Memphis and New York I think I have seen and heard it all when it comes to people panhandling. No I am not talking about Social Media panhandling for free tickets, those people are now unfollowed and I don’t see their feeds anymore. I am talking about panhandling for money, food or some just come out and say they need a beer or dope. Truthfully, I am more inclined to give those guys a beer than I am a buck. Sorry sparky, Carbunkle don’t do “The Dope” it is a work thing.

In New Orleans the scam way back was “I bet that I can tell you where you got your shoes” and it was targeted towards the tourists. The correct answer is “on my mudda fucking feet” and “piss off!” Probably the worst were the guys under I-10 or as I always referred to “Needle Park” these guys were pretty aggressive and thankfully the cops came by to clean it out daily.

In Memphis down in the entertainment district there is a problem where the panhandlers prey on tourists, normally foreign, and let me tell you these guys network. Back when the Mississippi Queen would dock at River Landing I would see bums all lined up from  Riverside to Beale. They would prey on the foreign tourists and it got kind of bad. Back in the day my brother Mike King led a huge campaign on cleaning up the streets and getting the bums off the street. It had traction but like any campaign flickered out. Paul Ryburn does a good job on his Blog giving tips and blowing the whistle on their latest scams. Truthfully, there needs to be someone to clean them out and make it difficult for them to throw a scam and then they will move on.

Here in New York you have 2 types of bums. Those on the street with the signs in the high tourist areas and those in the subways. Seriously it is amazing that we don’t have any bums here in the Upper East Side. Do we pay extra to ship them to Times Square? Nope, up here it is more residents and the panhandlers know that they can’t get as much money from resident New Yorkers as compared to the tourist areas. If you are going to duck hunt, would you rather hunt in a field or the lobby of the Peabody Hotel? You see what I did there?

Anyway in the trenches of the subway you get to hear all kinds of stories. “My wife is 9 months pregnant”, “I have XXX disease and need help”, “I lost my job and I need formula for my baby” I mean some of these stories are heart wrenching. But here is the thing, if you give them money then they keep on and it keeps feeding the vicious cycle. Mrs. Trumpet keeps a couple granola bars in her purse to give them food. It is harder to trade food for drugs or booze than cash is our rational.

Well all that changed last week when I have to say even I was impressed by this technique. I am sitting there on a very wide open subway train heading to a lunch meeting and someone puts a pack of Kleenex next to me with a note. I glance down and see that rather than “Excuse me Everybody…..” this person did it quietly and without interruption.

I gave the guy a buck and gave him his Kleenex back.

IMG_0479Very non-confrontational and something unique. Worst case is he uses that buck for more toner.

1447342403-postcoverYeah, this is why I don’t give money. Dude is making more money than I am  in an hour!

If you want to give money to the homeless, give to a shelter or a church. Don’t give it to them directly, they probably are a scam artist and using it for drugs or booze. Me, I work hard for my booze money! And as far as drugs, I guess you can call Cigars my drug of choice!


Planes Trains and a 40 Uber Ride

Let me just say this for the record. I know that when one travels stand-by you live by the sword and you also die by the sword. Let me also go on record saying that if I still lived in Memphis I would be lobbying for Kevin Kane, the Memphis Convention and Visitor Bureau President, to get a damn raise. If Kevin can get a group to come to Memphis with the overpriced bend you over without lube airfare costs then he is a hero. Seriously it costs the same to go from LGA to Memphis as it does from JFK to Heathrow Airport in London. Now that you know the back story you now understand why I would choose to fly stand-by to MEM from LGA.

Getting there is normally a breeze. Not many people are flying on the late Thursday night flight so I always guaranteed a seat. On Sunday’s the best chance to get back to LGA is the 6:30AM Delta flight since not many people want to head to New York on Sunday. Well the flight that I was to take got downgraded. Translation – My ass got bumped off the flight by 1 seat.

So there I was; working off of 3 hours sleep and I just paid 40 bucks because of a surging Uber so going back to South Main was not in the cards. I decided to head to Atlanta and try to get back to New York that way. This was because the one that I got bumped was the only flight to New York that day. Seriously, Kevin Kane deserves a huge fucking raise! What carrier has 1 flight a day on the weekend?

So I get to Atlanta, sit on standby for 3 “sorry the flight is closed but we moved you to the next flight’ flights and reach out to Pearl’s Daddy. You see, Pearl’s Daddy knows ‘a guy’ and he tells me to fly into a ‘back city’ to get home. I get on my iFoam and find that I can get to LGA from Norfolk, VA. I hedge my bets and get to Norfolk. End of story I get home some 13 hours later.

img_0436Reason Number One why I was ‘tired’ for my trip home.

img_0428Reason Number 2 why I am ‘tired’ for my trip home. Bender you have a pass.

img_04374 flights home = worth it!!!

img_0438Last message I sent to Momma. She was starting to wonder if I was going to Belize.

img_0439Hello JFK!

img_0440Love the E to the Q to get home!

All in all it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Thankfully I got home and got to see the Monkey heads.


Robo for the Valentine’s Day Win

Sorry to piss upset off my readers from Maine and Nova Scotia who were shoveling snow. Not to mention our friends were down in Belize looking for ‘a chicken’ and keeping the Belikin Beer supply in check. Last night  CBT not only had his smoking hot wife, Mrs. CBT, on his arm but the World Famous Travel Queen made a jaunt through the Holland Tunnel for a Happy Hour drinks. Yep, I win!

Hope that everyone’s Val-in-Times was a good one and you didn’t wake up in a chocolate hangover. It was great to see 3 Day Traveler and catch up. If you ears were burning then you were being spoken about you affectionately. Well except for you Pedro, but I did preface one story by “With All Due Respect.”  (I am kidding) Hopefully we can see Travel Queen this late summer in some far away distant location. Or she comes up here and crashes on our couch. Either way is good for us.

img_0338Go ahead Reaper and show me more pics of how beautiful living Pura Vida is. I win today wearing a heavy coat!

Have a good Hump Day!


Things you learn in a Blizzard

What can I say, 2017 is a year of firsts for Carbunkle Trumpet. No I am not talking about the new president, that was yesterday. What I am talking about is this jacked up weather. Seriously would the person who called Mother Nature a Crack Whore please apologize? Earlier this year I survived the Nor’easter and let me tell you, that sucked. This week they were calling for ‘a significant snow event’ for New York and Long Island. They were calling for a blizzard or white out conditions in the city and we should seek shelter at times. I am sure that you are reading this in Memphis wondering what the hell that means. So did I until yesterday. Anyway here are some things that I learned yesterday during the Snowpocalypse.

  1. Forget that heavy wool coat, get that ski jacket out of the closet. Wet heavy snow and wool are not the greatest combination.
  2. Boots, Boots, Boots – If they aren’t waterproof you might as well wear flip flops.
  3. Seeing is overrated during a blizzard. I saw a bunch of people wearing ski goggles yesterday and it makes perfect sense. I may look into getting a pair.
  4. Some dogs love snow, our dogs…..not so much. I don’t blame them. The snow was high that they had belly rubbing.
  5. If one does not have children then you are instructed to head to the nearest bar. That actually is a law.

img_0269Maddy don’t care about snow, she has to poop!

img_0270This one however, what a diva!

rockyI knew that Rocky over in Park Slope would be a happy pup today!

img_0264Broke out the shit kickers earlier in the week when we had biblical rains.

img_0274Made it into the office for a couple hours so I could say that “I made it in” and promptly went to reward myself.

img_0275W41st street was not looking good. The sidewalk was fine but the street needed some help.

img_0272Wonder why I take Lipitor? This would be the reason.

img_0276Are you F’ing kidding me guys? Closed because of the snow? This would be a perfect day but no! Somebody has to be a P word and stay home.

img_0268I mean even the Chinese restaurant on 2nd Ave was open for Christsake!

img_0267Got to love that someone cross stitched this.

Have a good weekend. We are going to be meeting up with UWS Girl this weekend to go to a silent disco.