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Losers Lounge Takes on Stax Music

Otis Redding, The Staple Singers, Sam & Dave, Carla and Rufus Thomas, Booker T & the MG’s and a whole bunch of others were featured by the Joe McGinty 7 and The Losers last weekend. I was really excited to see this feature given that I am a Memphis guy. The show was great but man I wish that they did a little Black Moses. Sadly the show we saw didn’t feature any but it was a great time with The VQ and the Asian Fireman. On thing that was strange was that a lot of the normal players were off on Friday night but were playing on Saturday night. Well as long as Donahue look a like Mike Fornatale and Carlton Smith were on it was going to be a good one.

Opening Act – Mr. Big Stuff
Liz Vice singing “These Arms of Mine”
Milton and Julia Joseph – Breakdown
Carlton “Soul; Man” Smith!
La La Brooks formally of The Crystals Singing Gee Whiz
Pretty Much when Mike Fornatale is going to sing its going to be a good one!
Yes he killed Otis’ version of “Try a Little Tenderness”
Joe McGinty Finishing up “The Ballad of El Goodo”

By the way, great job singing the classics. I have to say that singing some of the original Stax songs “Walkin the Dog” is hard to do if you don’t have that voice. David Milone did The World’s Oldest Teenager proud!

Have you never flown before? Did your mother not teach you better flight manners?

I recall those days of flying with my little sister and mother like it were yesterday. When we would fly I would be required to dress to the nines with shirt, tie and blue blazer. My sister would be done up in her best Sunday dress with bows in her hair and naturally we would sit in the smoking section of the plane. It was great!

Think about that for a second.. We had a fucking smoking section on those dirty ass metal tubes! I will be honest, I loved sitting in the smoking section growing up. It meant that we were closer to the flight attendants work area so we would get free refills on cokes. Yep Barbie would let my sister and I get all jacked up on Cokes while she smoked her Vantage Ultra Lights.

Geranium when she would fly for work would text me from time to time when she felt the need to punch someone in the dick for acting like an A-hole. I would normally make some snide comment because I knew was sitting in the First Class lounge having a drink while working. The best story was the woman who decided she would ignore the flight attendant’s request to turn her phone off and still was talking on it the engines were revving to take off. Geranium called the biotch out and got a couple “thank yous” from fellow passengers I might add.

So on some of my past trips I have been snapping people’s pictures who pretty much deserve to be put on Passenger Shaming. If you don’t follow them on IG (my boss informed me that this is the correct term to use instead of Instagram) you need to. Anyway here are some Pet Peeves of mine while traveling.

AKA if you do this………please Fucking Stop Immediately! The other option is don’t ever fly with me because I will call your ass out. I am serious when I say we are talking Ashley B “taking a photo of your food” calling out!

Rule Number 1 – Think of your Uber as a buddy driving you to the airport. Don’t act like they are your personal driver. If you do then you should give them cash money for a tip.
If not you are a Dick!
Rule Two – While Walking in Airports act like you are driving on I-240. Always stay to the right unless you are passing. If I pass you on the right I may give you a shitty stare.
If not you are a Dick!
Rule Three- You see Holmes here? He has his rolling bag, he has his hanging bag and he has his laptop bag. Airlines when they get full (pretty much all the time) will limit your carry on’s to 2 pieces. I bet this jackass tries to bring on all 3 pieces and then play the “You see that I have status on your airline?”
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Rule Four – Do we need to talk about this? Put your damn shoes on!
Rule Five – I am actually calling myself out on this one. When you belly up to a bar make sure you are respectful of the amount of space you occupy. I admit I was spreading out but if the bar was busy then you need to play nice.
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Rule Six – Snagged this off of the Internet. Do Not Be Gate Lice! Sit your Ass Down until called!
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Because even if you are going to hover around the gate you will still get to this. Its called a bottleneck you assholes.
Rule Seven – She is sitting in First Class, she gets those fancy socks but she decides to infect the entire space with her damn feet.
If you do this then you are a dick!
Rule Eight – Where are my scissors? If someone does this then they will be getting a trim.
If you do this then you are a dick!
Rule Nine – My Pet Peeve. You have been on a 2 hour flight. Why do you think you can shave off .2 seconds by jumping up in the aisle before everyone else.
If you do this you are a Dick!
Rule Ten – If you have 3 large bags then don’t call for an Uber Pool you need to call a moving Van! However, this woman did and went wild on 2 Uber Pool Drivers who told her to GFY. Actually when taking a pool try not do it from a New York Airport. Its just mean to the Uber Driver!
Oh and This lady is a Dick!
So if you break Rules One through Ten don’t be surprised if I call you out.
Don’t be that person. Be Nice! Fly right!

Hope you had a good laugh! But seriously do better folks and if you know someone who does this then please call them out on it!

Pics of The Week – I am a back to being a single parent.

Why do I post this? Because I want those who have asked about the next trip we go to Belize they want to know about it. That and the Tavern’s Anniversary. (Love you Rock-Mo)
So I stole this pic off of off the internet. Love that Memphis and FedEx pulled off a great event last week.
Tito’s and Grape Juice….Nope!
Confession – I have always had a crush on Gwyneth Paltrow. I don’t care if I have to go alone. I have got to see my girl!
Monkey Head Maya is ready for Geranium to come home!
Shout out to the staff at Wright & Goebel for this killer Gin.
DISCLAIMER – Before you call me a perv we actually had her approval for this picture.
Russian Momma Bear put her kids down in-front of us and made them chill out.
The two Toe Heads naturally used mommy as a recliner.
Geranium and I both agreed that this was a killer photo and asked her if she wanted us to take a pic of them.
The knucklehead at her feet was not happy that we took her phone so she wouldn’t have anything of this.
Finally Momma Bear asked me to take this pic (so she could pose as well, lets be honest) and I then texted her this pic.
Why am I still talking about this – At the beach, everyone is the same and those who come to the ocean should love all.
shout out to Missy

SanPedroScoop? Rebec… my apologies….Best Selling Author Rebecca Coutant?? I Have Never Heard Of Her!

I am kidding. You probably have heard me speak of my friend SanPedroScoop down in San Pedro Belize. I featured her on my Fellow Bloggers You Should Follow when I was running that piece a while back. If you don’t know who she is, she is an ExPat who lives in San Pedro. She also writes a really great Belize Travel Blog that I have referred people to her blog when they ask me about going to Belize. A couple of weeks back I was watching her Instagram Stories and she made a couple of cryptic comments about doing something big and she was ready for this project to launch.

I message her and ask her what the hell she is up to and she gives me the scoop. Wait, I just realized it, I got the Scoop from Scoop. (ok yes, that was cheezy AF) But she trusted me not to spill the beans. After all her boyfriend and I do go to the same Gynecologist on the island. That is a true story by the way. Moving forward…. Rebecca informs me she is hoping to launch the book as an E Reader for Kindle in June and then later have paperback and maybe hardback copies. Being the Diva that I am (I can be a pain in the ass tormenting her with pictures of bagels and flavored seltzers) I inform her I want to get 10 copies in soft back and I want them autographed.

It is no secret that I love San Pedro, I love the country and I love it’s people. When someone asks me about what to do and or where to go I figure there is no better reference material than a book. Oh and since she is originally from New Jersey I can also say “I got a guy”!

In all seriousness, I am very proud of what she has done. I am very proud of what she does for the tourism on my favorite little Caribbean island. Oh and you can bet your sweet ass I am getting some books autographed in November in exchange for some Murray’s Bagels.

Congrats Rebecca – Now to you dozen readers of this worthless dribble…. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK! BUY 2 OF THEM! ONE FOR YOUR iFOAM AND ONE FOR YOUR iPAD!

Pictures of the Week…And Last Week Too!

*Disclaimer – I am preloading this on Wednesday night so next week my stuff will be more current.

Hey Nice Graffiti!
We sat at the bar and watched Skillet do this for about 30 minutes. My question was – “How the F Did he get there and how did he get off?”
I took this pic because the beer was good at the Mead festival!
A Gin Tonic and a Guinness? They have Irish bars in Switzerland? Yes they do!
Meant to show this to Mr. 3 First Names on Tuesday night.
Love me this dive bar. They have The Queen on the wall!
This won’t hurt will it?
Alabama and their abortions – This is my retort.
The Half Head CBT/Geranium Selfie!
Taco Girl. I got you a bouquet of balloons.

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!

Carbunkle Trumpet’s Yearly Reminder to Folks who will be in Tom Lee Park This weekend….

It is a marathon folks, not a fucking sprint. Drink some water, use sunscreen and avoid anything in a mason jar or plastic souffle cup.

Or you may want to re-read this so CLICK HERE!

Seriously, be careful down there. Don’t drive if you have had any alcohol and please pay attention to your surroundings. I love you guys and I love those readers of this worthless dribble of a blog. But I would hate to hear about how X person drove their car home and now is in jail because they killed a car load of less drunk high school kids.

Number 2 fucking Lottery Pic Baby! And Chris Wallace isn’t involved with this!
Messaged the Pitmaster on Tuesday night and got this picture. Good Times!
This corner is the equivalent of BBQ Fest for the UES folks on day of the year!
I saw this picture and I immediately smiled and teared up at the same time! As a former Carnie I know that even though this nation is at odds that there are some decent people still out there! God Bless you guys/gals!
If you don’t look out the window every once in a while you can’t appreciate the view.
This better be in Switzerland when you fuckers are reading this worthless dribble on Friday!

Have a good weekend, I am in Switzerland seeing Geranium.

Quick Trip to the Fun Side of the Wall – Spring Break Baby!

Not sure if some of you are aware but Geranium has left me, she has left the dog, and she temporarily no longer living in Downtown Brooklyn.

Well that should get a couple of bites on my social media accounts. Those jokers are now saying “Whisky Tango Foxtrot Paul Allen/Carbunkle Trumpet!” What the Fuck did you do now?

Relax gang, Mary Louise is over in Switzerland for a month getting her company ready for a Bed Pan launch. It is easier for her to already be in the EU instead of a bunch of trips back and forth from NYC. She has been gone now a week and I am not going to lie one bit….. I miss the shit out of her! The dog……she is missing her too.

When it was official that Mary Louise was to take this month long trip we decided that we needed to get away for a couple of days and have some ‘us’ time. While we were upstate last month, I challenged our Travel Agent to come up with a couple of good All Inclusive Resorts for us. We were booking this thing in the matter of weeks so we didn’t have time to shop, find a deal or even mess with it. Jerre Martin of Prosper Travel knocked it out of the park for us. She recommended a Secrets SilverSands (not sure why there isn’t a space but that is the way everyone spelled it) Riviera Adults Only Resort in Cancun that was perfect for us. Seriously, and I don’t normally give props to resorts but if you want a small all inclusive adult joint with a nice beach, pool, and great staff…..This is the place for you.

We left New York Friday evening and got into Cancun around 11PM. We got to our room and went to bed because we were so tired promptly to the bar and made up for lost time while were. We were there till Tuesday late afternoon and returned on the 19:30 flight to Newark from Cancun. The food was good, the drink was cold, they had Kettle One for me and a wine that Geranium enjoyed. Now here is where you are going to say that we are getting old.

The entertainment team at Secrets SilverSands Riveria is top notch! They made sure that if you didn’t want to be bothered, the left you alone. If you played in the pool, they made you feel welcome. And if you were like our old asses playing Bingo and Blackjack, they had fun with you! Seriously if you want to make a trip with just you and the spouse. we found the All Inclusive for you!

Me – “Señor ¿cómo se llama una cerveza y una margarity congelada juntos?”
Bartender – We call it an “Ernie Mellor” Sir!
Oh Great all you two did down there was just drink and take pictures at the bar….
Hey RJ – They carried Hillbilly Ale too!
Last Pic of booze I promise…….
Here is a pic of the resort I stole off the internet. I was a fun resort that wasn’t too big. 3 to 4 days and you have done it all!
This was cool! This is a simple end table with a marble top and the melted wine bottles on top of it for like 4 months. The build up was huge and really made the entry into the French Restaurant. I could do this! But probably not in Brooklyn.
I was really cool and made a great statement in the room
Some Asshole Left the Dominos in New York (thanks Maya, you packed me) so we had to find some in the gift shop.
Hey Blue Water Grill in Belize! I got you taken care of for those plates.
Here are some of those Cancer Causing Windmills.
Maya didn’t miss our asses one bit! Carla is great and she had more fun with her than we do.
Last Meal out of Cancun at Jimmy Buffet’s Bar.

Seriously, we had a blast down in Mexico and it was a fun trip before Mary Louise Geranium’s trip to Switzerland. Again our travel agent knocked it out of the park for us. I gave her a list of our wants (Good Beach, Adults Only, Don’t want to spend an arm & leg, and age appropriate guest list) and she gave us a great recommendation. More to come in these past trips.

“Have you been to the Oyster Bar at Grand Central?”

I would get this question pretty much every time I would talk to my fellow coworker, eye-talian and lover of smoked meats, Guido. I honestly told him that it wasn’t like I was avoiding this joint. It seemed like anytime that I was in Grand Central with some time to kill, waiting for a Metro North train the damned thing would be closed. Back tracking a bit – a couple of weeks ago Mary Louise was returning from a work trip and found herself in Grand Central so she had lunch there. She gave it glowing reviews and said it wasn’t as touristy as one would imagine.

Last Friday Mary Louise was, once again, out of town I found myself in Grand Central around 4:30. I was feeling somewhat peckish so I went looking for food before my long commute home (New Yorkers are you reading this?) So here I was, coming down the ramp, and saw that Oyster Bar was open. I knew that the dog was fine having been taken out by the dog walker so I decided to hang out at Grand Central for the Late Afternoon!

First of all, this place is frigging huge! I had no idea how big it was because it looks very small from the outside. I found a spot at the bar and God Bless Carlos, the server, he was as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I found a home at the “shucking bar” since the majority of the oysters are broken here. I was sitting between a mix of Midtown attorneys finishing up a weeks work and tourists who were pissed that it was taking so slow. I knew I was in the right spot because Carlos ran by me 3 times with various requests/specials and he liked that I was quick with my response.

I started with a half dozen and I told Carlos to pick the best of the bunch. *Disclaimer – I don’t know much about Northeastern oysters so I always trust the experts.* After enjoying the 6 best oysters I have had in a while, I watched one of the chefs make a soup from scratch about a dozen times. I really didn’t need any soup but I always appreciate someone who loves what they do. I asked Carlos what soup I wanted and he suggested the Oyster Pan Roast. This is pretty much a clam based soup with cream and tomatoes. Frigging Tomato Soup with oysters? I am in!

My View from the Front Line
Hated those 6 oysters!
Yo Holmes, what you making? Can I get a Sample?
This is some Good Shit!

Guido – You are right, I have been remiss on visiting the Oyster Bar. I am now a fan but still have an issue being only open during weird working hours!