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Mexican Super Bowl and The Spam e-Mail

As you can see from the featured pictured that on the 18th of December I get an email from RJ saying that the gauntlet has been thrown. I confer with Geranium on her schedule and within 5 minutes of getting that email we are informing our favorite travel agent that we can’t be one-upped by RJ and Mal-O-Rie and to book us the same time down in Mexico.

I realize that the weekend we will be down in Mexico will also be the Super Bowl. I already knew by mid October that the Jets and Giants were out so I was ok watching a sporting event from another country. I was in London the previous Super Bowl and I didn’t really miss much. We stayed at a brand new resort and had a blast. Of course we don’t have to have much (except for a shitload of Wine and Vodka) to have a good time with the 4 of us.

We had great weather, the game was actually fun and it was good to get away from Memphis and New York for a couple days.

Kind of nice not having to get up at the Crack of ass to go to the Airport
We hated it!
The Resort went all out for the party. They had bar food so we got our fill of Mexican Corndogs and Fried Goodness
Transition from Blender Drinks to Evening Vodka requires you to have a Margarita and Beer
I hope they are facetiming with Lisa Marie and Willimena in Memphis. Then again Big Jim was there and he was unsupervised at the bar.
Do you have a 1953 bottle of MD 20-20?
Good thing that Geranium is a Nurse
Oh wait that wasn’t eye drops, it was perfume
My Dessert Buddy was jealous of my lunch selection.

So who will you be emailing with 45 days notice to come to a foreign country and drink with them?

A Trip to the Pacific Northwest to See Geranium

Geranium finally got on the road and made her way back to the home office in Seattle for a week. This trip she had to work late on Friday so we decided I would come out and hang with her and some work peeps. I got into town Friday at lunch and made my way over to her office and confirmed it. They don’t work they eat Bon-Bon’s out there and that’s about it.

I am kidding and it was nice to put faces to all the names that I have heard over the past couple of months. Since I was there for only a couple of days we were planning on doing the traditional Seattle tourist spots. aka; Pike Market downtown and maybe a museum. It was a fun trip and we had a great time. I dig’d Seattle, it has a cool vibe to it and it rained everyday.

Us at the Iconic Public Market Center Sign
Where they Throw the Fish to and from
Hey KLC Man I think that you can get a cheaper price right?
What is this? This line is for Cheese? Stand On Line Geranium!
Mac and Cheese? Oh Hell Yes!
I will just stop here.

Like I said, Seattle is a cool little town. Sure it sucked because it rained but we will be back.

Pictures of the Week

Sorry I don’t have much to report, I have been kinda busy and with Geranium it has been eat, take dog out, sleep, take dog out, work, cigar, take dog out. You know I have been busy.

Interesting
I got new shoes this week
I dare Guys’ Fried Chicken boys to change their name. Or open one in Canada.

Have a good weekend!

So What is Up with The Forehead/Shitty Selfie Instagram Pictures?

That question has been asked of me a lot. No seriously, even The Former Work Wife’s (The Domestic One) superhero admin asked me if I needed help with taking a selfie. I told her to shut her mouth and then shot her with about 2 dozen rubber band’s as I ran out of the office. (she won’t read this, I am safe)

Anyway this past weekend while were having a drink of cheer with Z(squared) I informed LJZ that we needed to have a selfie. She remarked “oh a forehead pic” sure I am in. So here are some Robo Selfie pictures from the past month. FYI – You have to be close to my stellar height to have the perfect Robo Selfie.

The Costa Rican Reaper & CBT
Tia Chocolate and Me down in Belize
AB – My Favorite Windy City Pool Buddy & I this past Sunday. So Great to see her!
LJZ and I after going to Church on Saturday.
Want some good Holiday Lights in a bar? Go to Pete’s
The Housing Ponzi Scheme one and I at Long Shots.
He has fathered children that I am responsible for as Godfather
Love me some of this woman! So happy to see her on Sunday!
Love this Guy!
Me and Geranium
EGP and I
My favorite Illegal Alien!

If I missed some pictures I apologize. I have been busy as of late.

Oh and this Monday is a HUGE birthday for the woman who suffered to bring me into this world. Text or message me if you want wish her a Happy Birthday on Monday. #Ba70

Before You Start Putting My Ugly Ass Pic on Milk Cartons….

I am still here, I have been kinda busy with selling those Bus Tickets on those Double Decker Tour Busses. Went back to Memphis for Thanksgiving and First off…Apologies to Katie Mac *The one we cook for* because I spaced and didn’t reach out to her. My Bad, and I am sorry for that lapse.

Anyway here are some pictures from last weekend.

He came to Brooklyn and then I had to return the favor. Anyway we make this shit look good
What can I say, his momma and this guy made a great looking kid. So great to see them on Wednesday before Thanksgiving!
Bonus that we ran into Mr 3 First Names and Lady Lawyer!
The College Kids love me! Especially the ones from Cali, Mass, and Memphis! FYI – Cali Girl – you had one Job and you are still on double secret probation!
Love me some Lisa Marie!
And naturally Willamena can’t be out shined
Rock-Mo still serves on those sytrofoam plates!
Respect to the Kasaftes Family
We Ain’t got No Menu!
Always good to see Father and Papa Pecha

More to come this week. I am back and thanks to you who have reached out!

Losers Lounge Takes on Stax Music

Otis Redding, The Staple Singers, Sam & Dave, Carla and Rufus Thomas, Booker T & the MG’s and a whole bunch of others were featured by the Joe McGinty 7 and The Losers last weekend. I was really excited to see this feature given that I am a Memphis guy. The show was great but man I wish that they did a little Black Moses. Sadly the show we saw didn’t feature any but it was a great time with The VQ and the Asian Fireman. On thing that was strange was that a lot of the normal players were off on Friday night but were playing on Saturday night. Well as long as Donahue look a like Mike Fornatale and Carlton Smith were on it was going to be a good one.

Opening Act – Mr. Big Stuff
Liz Vice singing “These Arms of Mine”
Milton and Julia Joseph – Breakdown
Carlton “Soul; Man” Smith!
La La Brooks formally of The Crystals Singing Gee Whiz
Pretty Much when Mike Fornatale is going to sing its going to be a good one!
Yes he killed Otis’ version of “Try a Little Tenderness”
Joe McGinty Finishing up “The Ballad of El Goodo”

By the way, great job singing the classics. I have to say that singing some of the original Stax songs “Walkin the Dog” is hard to do if you don’t have that voice. David Milone did The World’s Oldest Teenager proud!

Have you never flown before? Did your mother not teach you better flight manners?

I recall those days of flying with my little sister and mother like it were yesterday. When we would fly I would be required to dress to the nines with shirt, tie and blue blazer. My sister would be done up in her best Sunday dress with bows in her hair and naturally we would sit in the smoking section of the plane. It was great!

Think about that for a second.. We had a fucking smoking section on those dirty ass metal tubes! I will be honest, I loved sitting in the smoking section growing up. It meant that we were closer to the flight attendants work area so we would get free refills on cokes. Yep Barbie would let my sister and I get all jacked up on Cokes while she smoked her Vantage Ultra Lights.

Geranium when she would fly for work would text me from time to time when she felt the need to punch someone in the dick for acting like an A-hole. I would normally make some snide comment because I knew was sitting in the First Class lounge having a drink while working. The best story was the woman who decided she would ignore the flight attendant’s request to turn her phone off and still was talking on it the engines were revving to take off. Geranium called the biotch out and got a couple “thank yous” from fellow passengers I might add.

So on some of my past trips I have been snapping people’s pictures who pretty much deserve to be put on Passenger Shaming. If you don’t follow them on IG (my boss informed me that this is the correct term to use instead of Instagram) you need to. Anyway here are some Pet Peeves of mine while traveling.

AKA if you do this………please Fucking Stop Immediately! The other option is don’t ever fly with me because I will call your ass out. I am serious when I say we are talking Ashley B “taking a photo of your food” calling out!

Rule Number 1 – Think of your Uber as a buddy driving you to the airport. Don’t act like they are your personal driver. If you do then you should give them cash money for a tip.
If not you are a Dick!
Rule Two – While Walking in Airports act like you are driving on I-240. Always stay to the right unless you are passing. If I pass you on the right I may give you a shitty stare.
If not you are a Dick!
Rule Three- You see Holmes here? He has his rolling bag, he has his hanging bag and he has his laptop bag. Airlines when they get full (pretty much all the time) will limit your carry on’s to 2 pieces. I bet this jackass tries to bring on all 3 pieces and then play the “You see that I have status on your airline?”
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Rule Four – Do we need to talk about this? Put your damn shoes on!
Rule Five – I am actually calling myself out on this one. When you belly up to a bar make sure you are respectful of the amount of space you occupy. I admit I was spreading out but if the bar was busy then you need to play nice.
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Rule Six – Snagged this off of the Internet. Do Not Be Gate Lice! Sit your Ass Down until called!
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Because even if you are going to hover around the gate you will still get to this. Its called a bottleneck you assholes.
Rule Seven – She is sitting in First Class, she gets those fancy socks but she decides to infect the entire space with her damn feet.
If you do this then you are a dick!
Rule Eight – Where are my scissors? If someone does this then they will be getting a trim.
If you do this then you are a dick!
Rule Nine – My Pet Peeve. You have been on a 2 hour flight. Why do you think you can shave off .2 seconds by jumping up in the aisle before everyone else.
If you do this you are a Dick!
Rule Ten – If you have 3 large bags then don’t call for an Uber Pool you need to call a moving Van! However, this woman did and went wild on 2 Uber Pool Drivers who told her to GFY. Actually when taking a pool try not do it from a New York Airport. Its just mean to the Uber Driver!
Oh and This lady is a Dick!
So if you break Rules One through Ten don’t be surprised if I call you out.
Don’t be that person. Be Nice! Fly right!

Hope you had a good laugh! But seriously do better folks and if you know someone who does this then please call them out on it!

Pics of The Week – I am a back to being a single parent.

Why do I post this? Because I want those who have asked about the next trip we go to Belize they want to know about it. That and the Tavern’s Anniversary. (Love you Rock-Mo)
So I stole this pic off of off the internet. Love that Memphis and FedEx pulled off a great event last week.
Tito’s and Grape Juice….Nope!
Confession – I have always had a crush on Gwyneth Paltrow. I don’t care if I have to go alone. I have got to see my girl!
Monkey Head Maya is ready for Geranium to come home!
Shout out to the staff at Wright & Goebel for this killer Gin.
DISCLAIMER – Before you call me a perv we actually had her approval for this picture.
Russian Momma Bear put her kids down in-front of us and made them chill out.
The two Toe Heads naturally used mommy as a recliner.
Geranium and I both agreed that this was a killer photo and asked her if she wanted us to take a pic of them.
The knucklehead at her feet was not happy that we took her phone so she wouldn’t have anything of this.
Finally Momma Bear asked me to take this pic (so she could pose as well, lets be honest) and I then texted her this pic.
Why am I still talking about this – At the beach, everyone is the same and those who come to the ocean should love all.
shout out to Missy

SanPedroScoop? Rebec… my apologies….Best Selling Author Rebecca Coutant?? I Have Never Heard Of Her!

I am kidding. You probably have heard me speak of my friend SanPedroScoop down in San Pedro Belize. I featured her on my Fellow Bloggers You Should Follow when I was running that piece a while back. If you don’t know who she is, she is an ExPat who lives in San Pedro. She also writes a really great Belize Travel Blog that I have referred people to her blog when they ask me about going to Belize. A couple of weeks back I was watching her Instagram Stories and she made a couple of cryptic comments about doing something big and she was ready for this project to launch.

I message her and ask her what the hell she is up to and she gives me the scoop. Wait, I just realized it, I got the Scoop from Scoop. (ok yes, that was cheezy AF) But she trusted me not to spill the beans. After all her boyfriend and I do go to the same Gynecologist on the island. That is a true story by the way. Moving forward…. Rebecca informs me she is hoping to launch the book as an E Reader for Kindle in June and then later have paperback and maybe hardback copies. Being the Diva that I am (I can be a pain in the ass tormenting her with pictures of bagels and flavored seltzers) I inform her I want to get 10 copies in soft back and I want them autographed.

It is no secret that I love San Pedro, I love the country and I love it’s people. When someone asks me about what to do and or where to go I figure there is no better reference material than a book. Oh and since she is originally from New Jersey I can also say “I got a guy”!

In all seriousness, I am very proud of what she has done. I am very proud of what she does for the tourism on my favorite little Caribbean island. Oh and you can bet your sweet ass I am getting some books autographed in November in exchange for some Murray’s Bagels.

Congrats Rebecca – Now to you dozen readers of this worthless dribble…. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK! BUY 2 OF THEM! ONE FOR YOUR iFOAM AND ONE FOR YOUR iPAD!

Pictures of the Week…And Last Week Too!

*Disclaimer – I am preloading this on Wednesday night so next week my stuff will be more current.

Hey Nice Graffiti!
We sat at the bar and watched Skillet do this for about 30 minutes. My question was – “How the F Did he get there and how did he get off?”
I took this pic because the beer was good at the Mead festival!
A Gin Tonic and a Guinness? They have Irish bars in Switzerland? Yes they do!
Meant to show this to Mr. 3 First Names on Tuesday night.
Love me this dive bar. They have The Queen on the wall!
This won’t hurt will it?
Alabama and their abortions – This is my retort.
The Half Head CBT/Geranium Selfie!
Taco Girl. I got you a bouquet of balloons.

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!