Upper East Side

Don’t Rock The Boat – Losers Lounge takes to the Hudson

You have heard about our many visits to Joe’s Pub to see The Losers Lounge. During the summer the Losers traditionally take a break and don’t perform but kick back up in the fall months. The next show is next month but there was a special performance that Vivian and Stone had purchased tickets and suggested that we attend. The show was a Disco Themed and it was on the Circle Line boat.

Joe and the Losers didn’t disappoint at all! Playing all the hits and with the backdrop of Manhattan you get the picture. It was cool as crap!

IMG_4341Fun Times with the Gang!

IMG_4311Still never gets old looking at this view

IMG_4319But First Let’s take a Selfie!

IMG_4315Of Course they had Karaoke Set up!

IMG_4321Aunt Terry I can’t believe you didn’t even acknowledge us!

IMG_4332Brooklyn Bridge Shot

IMG_4331Connie and Katia

IMG_4326Great show and lots of fun!

IMG_4334Nice “Action Shot” of the Empire State Building from the West Side

Thanks to Vivian and Stone for suggesting we do this. It was lots of fun

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Strike up the Band We have lived on these Rocks for 3 years!

Wow! Another Year has come to pass and yet here I am still banging away on this laptop. I celebrate this milestone because I haven’t gotten hit by that crosstown bus or fallen ass over teacup down a bilco door. Sadly, I celebrate this 3rd birthday solo while right now Mary Louise is heading on a Ferry to another island down in Mexico with the MoHo’s. No I am not bitter about this one bit. I promise.

In her absence I have been writing this post in my head for a couple of days and I  have to say how humble I am that we are still plugging along in a city that could possibly eat us alive. I have always said that there are two things here in The Empire State that I always run out of; time and money. This year has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it has been 3 years from when we rolled up to 1300 First Avenue and emptied our contents into the UES. This year there have been some major changes to our lives this year and l have always said that sometimes change is good.

In the past year some of our friends have also followed suit and made moves from familiar Memphis surroundings and dipped their toe into new cities and regions. I always tell them from our experiences that right now there may be tears of uncertainty but each day and week things will normalize and level out. I still look back and say to myself that if you told me 3 years and change that I would be living in New York and love each day of it I would have told you that you are crazy as hell. I am serious when I say that this was the best thing that we have done in our adult lives. The experiences and things that we have and continue to learn about have been amazing. Much like Anthony Bourdain told us on each show was that we need to explore and try out new things. Do the uncomfortable and you will be amazed at to what you learn and it will make you a richer person internally. I still miss that fucker. His story wasn’t finished.

People still ask me how I like living here I always tell them the same response. We love it and should have done this sooner. I am in no way dogging Memphis or our friends back there but Mary Louise and I always had an ‘explorer’ gene in us that was dying to get out. New York is a strange city and has a lot of people from many different walks of life. Much like a child we are always asking questions and seeking information. You know what we found out. They may be from a different country, have a different person that believe in or vote for but we are all children playing in the same sandbox and we better find a way to get along. Call me crazy but the first thing that I ask the yellow cab driver, after I tell them *in my best New York Accent*, is where they are from and “Tell me about yourself.” People love telling their story to strangers. There is a lot of pride in those words and I cherish each and every one.

While I sit here smoking a Perdomo stinking up my work laptop I recall all the things we did. They are in no particular order include;

  • Mary Louise completes and graduates with a MBA from NYU and this better complete her higher education quest. We don’t have any fucking room in closet for a Doctoral Robe and all that crap. (I am very proud of her for this)
  • Mary Louise takes a new job and a whole bunch of new responsibilities that I don’t doubt she will do great in.
  • Made a trip to Philly and got me an authentic Cheesesteak.
  • We moved from the Upper East Side to the Gritty Hipster streets of Downtown Brooklyn. That wasn’t easy folks, oh and moving sucks here in New York City.
  • One would think that downsizing from 1300 square feet to 535 square feet would be easy but try to move to another studio that is configured differently. Thankfully Ba made a trip to Brooklyn and helped us with the move.
  • I made Senior at my work so I am now a Senior Sales Rep for selling tourists tickets on those double decker buses.
  • We made a trip to Maine for Lobster.
  • We made a trip to the Riviera Maya of Mexico for a work counterparts wedding and made a one night trip over to Isla Mujeres in December.
  • Made a trip back home for Christmas and got to see our friends and family.
  • Had to check in on Kitty down in Belize in February and to get warmed up from the 4 Nor’easters we had this past winter.
  • Were honored to become Godparents for Willimena in April and now have another one who will possibly wipe our asses when we get older.
  • Reconnected with Vivian Longstreet and Stone and enjoyed a great weekend with them Upstate.
  • Had to make yet another trip to Mexico and insure that RJ and Mallory didn’t have tres children. (still unknown but we will see in 9 months if that was a success)
  • Mary Louise made a trip to The Hamptons while I smoked meat on Katonah Avenue in the Bronx.
  • Mary Louise currently is down in Mexico right now with the MoHo’s and will return on Monday.

Yep we had a blast on this island and on a couple other islands. Rather than collect stuff we have decided to collect memories and passport stamps. I am nearing 1000 words and will end with a quote that I always love. “Travel is the only thing that you buy that makes you richer”

IMG_2489Much like Black Eyed Peas and Greens on New Years day if you celebrate New Years eve wearing a Bowler hat you will have good luck. *taken 2 blocks from Times Square on NYE

IMG_1883New York Food and Wine Festival Event

IMG_1641Pipes and Drums Prom. Who knew that Mary Louise and Lady Barrister wore the same color dress.

IMG_0059Madison Square Garden Event – here Mary Louise is saying “W.T.C.B.F. Carbunkle Trumpet, LZ goes to all the good shows and you take my ass to a Collegiate Hockey match? You better step up your game and start bogarting the good tickets too!”

IMG_2151Funny I don’t hear her bitching about this one. Aboard the USS Intrepid for the Marine Corp’s Birthday Celebration

IMG_3427Willimena is going to be a handful I can already tell.

IMG_4024 (1)Who has 2 thumbs and completes her MBA from NYU in 2 years while working full time and interviews for a new job. This one! Seriously though. This is it for higher level education.

IMG_2821Right before we move out of the UES they open a bonafide Queso Mexican Restaurant Joint and we find a great Cajun place too! Thank God we have the Q Train!

IMG_3128Boerum Hill is pretty cool. If you walk across the street from our joint you are in Boerum Hill neighborhood. If you make a left and walk across Flatbush you are in Fort Greene. You walk 3 more blocks and you are in Park Slope. Confused yet?

IMG_1262So glad to see Kitty when she made a trip up to the Big Apple.

IMG_0501This is the face of a woman who is about to walk out into a friggin Northeast Nor’easter. 50 MPH Winds with below windchill temps and Snow. I ‘worked from home’ that day!

IMG_8491And here was the first pic when we moved in. 3 years later and we are still here and I may or may not be a liberal democrat.

Thanks for reading and for following this worthless dribble. Now pull that band-aid off and go out and make yourself richer and happy 3rd Anniversary to us!

This Town Sucks!

I mean there is not shit to do here in the summer! I am kidding because if you didn’t find something to do this past weekend then you really weren’t fucking trying. Friday afternoon we decided to meet up with UWS Holly for drinks. Now back in the days of us living and working in the UES it was kind of easy finding a place. But with momma coming in hot from Dirty Jersey, me being down in the West Village and Holly being in the UWS we figured that the Top of the Metropolitan Museum was only fitting.

The weather on Friday was prefect. Not too hot, not too cold and we didn’t have any rain on Friday! It was a win-win! Now there is a big ass disclaimer on attending any rooftop in New York City. Bring an ass-load of cash! Seriously it costs a lot of money to catch your buzz overlooking the city. I won’t go into detail on what a round of two glasses of wine and a specialty drink cost you but it does create a moment of pause when you think that you want to get your swerve on the top of the Met. It was fun and if you are here in the city during the summer I suggest you put this on the list.

IMG_3431It has been a while since I was in the proper Museum and we never went to the Greek Wing to get to the rooftop. We need to head back.

IMG_3428Looking towards Midtown

IMG_3429Notice that the folks on the rooftop dress up just like the Peabody Rooftop bars.

IMG_3430Looking towards the UWS and the Dakota is in the distance. Or is it the Ghostbusters building. I need to work on visiting the UWS more often.

IMG_3432Damn Nova even has her own building up here. She has the cool president, free healthcare, a building with her name on it but she doesn’t have Bud Light. So take that!

More tomorrow as Saturday we cranked up the Damn Volume and Ripped off the Knob!

 

Random Ass Pictures from Philly, Memphis and some current ones

In a months time we have;

  1. Gone to Philly for a 3 year olds birthday party.
  2. Gone to Memphis for a 1 year olds birthday party and baptism.
  3. Moved from the UES to Downtown Brooklyn.
  4. Mrs. Trumpet got a graduate degree from NYU.
  5. Mrs. Trumpet started a new job and career.
  6. Found a couple bars here in Brooklyn that serve Bud Light.

That’s a lot of shit if you ask me! Here are some pictures from those exploits in no particular order.

IMG_3032Downtown Philly

IMG_3038This is why Philly can’t have nice things. They cracked their bell

IMG_3034No this is not where we got our Cheese Steak Sandwiches

IMG_3045The Bar in Glenside, PA

IMG_3092Andy you mind if I get some beers? Go ahead, I am on my coffee Break!

IMG_3093Bar 595 – Never heard of it!

IMG_3097Now you Assholes do realize that we are all going to be getting on the same flight and they call you by groups right? Sit your asses down!

IMG_3098Packed Memphis Airport on a Monday

IMG_3134The Boat Dive Bar in Cobble Hill

IMG_3136Carbunkle is happy!

IMG_3181Momma and her wings! She did inform me that she really liked the Doctorial Robes and considered going for that. I don’t see the humor in that.

IMG_3186After Graduation, Lunch, and some shopping we decided to take a little nap.

Hope that everyone is recovering from BBQ Fest.

933 Days and I got it done!

What did I do that took almost 2 and half years to accomplish you ask? I am proud to report that I have the Entire Upper East Side of Manhattan (North of E60th Street to E96th Street,  West of 5th Avenue to the East River) speaking Southern!  It is a thing of beauty, I have everyone saying “hello” and “good morning” on the streets. Snapple and fizzy water has been replaced with freshly brewed Lipton Iced Tea. Bacon Lettuce and Tomato with Pimento Cheese has replaced the Gyro carts on the streets. And Finally the first Friday after Memorial Day everyone will be wearing Seersucker!

I am pretty proud of myself, I didn’t think I could do it. Hell, I even have my work family now issuing “Bless Your Heart” to people instead of saying “F You!”  So what is next for Carbunkle Trumpet you wonder? WE ARE TAKING OUR SHOW IN THE ROAD TO DOWNTOWN BROOKLYN! Yep! We are moving out of the UES and heading to the borough of Brooklyn! Home of Jay Z, Manbuns and Hipsters and I am putting all of you on notice! Ok, so the real reason could be that Momma has taken a new job so we have to move out of her employers housing but we are excited for the new adventure.

We looked at a number of different locations on this rock and other rocks and decided that we needed the following things;

  • One or two subway stops back into Manhattan and easily walkable
  • Multiple Subway Lines for when there are delays, cancelations or weekend repairs
  • Full Service Building so they can accept our Vodka & Wine fruit & vegetable deliveries
  • Office or business center shared space in common area
  • Outdoor space and maybe an outdoor grill for daddy to burn red meat
  • Had to be cool and have a neighborhood tavern (or two)

Downtown Brooklyn checked all the boxes so we started to find a new home in that area. We looked into one building but they would only allow one dog and since we have two that collectively weigh 11 pounds that was out. We found another joint that is just as good and pending the vetting process we are in. We are shooting for next week to move so don’t be surprised if this sucker is quiet next week.

data=2M2OiB_yxfn5DcdjDRgvI6wr69jNRy3suS-zfNpCNuuMB_IbWMxsjfy6d2reA7Kcv5tiy7Pqdj1XX4k_InfgQqIgpJBUQt63NdtgsnjRhj--JFktXUBjgvOMCIXHj8hTyuyOWe are smack dab in the middle of everything. Walking distance to the Barclays Center, right next to a University that we may know the head men’s basketball coach, it is a quick Subway ride to the Murphranks and there is an IHop on the Fulton Mall!

IMG_3004Roughly 13 subway lines I can jump on to get into the city!

imagesHere is the front of our Non-Hipster Building

Dattner-Architects_HubOasisAll186_web-1-840x580I mean this isn’t too bad for those 30 nice days of summer for us to enjoy!

IMG_3011Maya is saying “Wait, I like the UES! People tell me that I look cute and want to pet me! I don’t even like the Beastie Boys”

IMG_3012Maddy is looking forward to taking a wiz on the artificial grass in the dog run that they have. Yep she will peeing on Brady Bunch Astroturf!

IMG_3070This part sucks, basically because we don’t have much room to put shit

IMG_3069Office and Holiday Crap is in boxes!

IMG_3068You will notice that the Cigar Humidor and the Steve Bartman Bobble Head are still here. I will pack those last of course!

IMG_3067Blue Dogs are packed and ready to move to Brooklyn

IMG_3065Not to say that we don’t have a lot to offer but do any of your future residents make Logo Cornbread? Please accept us and can you make it quick, we are starting to get nervous!

We will keep you posted, till then I will be busy growing out my hair for the Man bun!

 

Hey CBT, I got something for you….

That was a text message that I got from LJZ last week.

****Disclaimer, I was in a foul mood that afternoon. Seriously, I would have just as soon masturbated with a cheese grater than visit the home office during business hours that day. Regardless, I pulled up my socks, put on a fresh smile, and agreed to swing by to get “said gift.” When I arrived I found out that my boss was there…..I found out that her boss was there……I found out that her wanted-her-to-be boss was there..

Seriously, I would have just as soon sat in the backseat of an un-air conditioned station wagon between two 15 month olds kids in car seats sucking on pixie sticks of sugar than be there. Did I mention that I was on a 14 hour road trip to Florida and said kids hadn’t been out of those chairs for 7 hours? It was that bad of a day for me.

Hopefully I have given you enough imagery to tell you how pissed I was that fateful day when LJZ asked me to come to the home office for a gift she made for me.

IMG_2953This was the gift that LJZ gave me. *SECOND DISCLAIMER – No I don’t use elicit drugs, I got 99 other problems than this one. (booze, beer and cigars are still ok right?)

IMG_2962I was floored. I loved it!

The fact that LJZ cross-stitched this in the airport on a work trip makes gift so much more special. Oh what is the big deal about “Not Doing Coke in our Bathroom” you ask? (see next picture and comment)

img_0267This is the original cross-stitch that sits at a bar a couple of steps away from our soon to be former apartment and we have a funny story about it. I guess Shobo and I need to go back into the bar business.

HEY RJ – You listening…… #NextYearCoozie

For those of you who are wondering what storyline you missed please don’t read to much into this post. I appreciate this gift for a many reasons.

Thank you LJZ you really are a treat!

 

What do you do when you circle the Sun 48 times?

You celebrate it just like you came into this world: Naked, Confused, and Hungry.

One of the positive things about Facebook is that Facebook Birthdays ARE FRIGGIN AWESOME! I have been having a love/hate with this social media platform as of late but to all those who sent me a message (even some of inappropriate ones) I appreciate you and them!

So for this birthday I decided to cash in on one of my personal days and I am really glad I did because the weather sucked balls. I started the day off by heading over to the West Side for some work shoe shopping. Following that I decided to pamper myself and got myself a “Royale Shave” from my barber Mark. I figure that I started shaving around 14ish so 34 years is about time to have someone else give you a decent shave and hold a straight razor at your neck. For those of you who are wondering what all this is, it is pretty much a facial but with a shave. Any my face feels fabulous!

When you have a 48 year old face that feels like a baby’s butt after a shave what do you do then? Why you get a cheeseburger at Finnegan’s Wake! I have heard ramblings that this Irish UES joint in addition to serving a proper pint of Guinness also has a great burger. It didn’t disappoint.

To finish out the afternoon I headed up to Adult Daycare on E73rd street where I was welcomed by some of the boys while we watched the Yankees Home Opener. I smoked a $30 dollar stick, drank a Nespresso and busted balls with the best of them.

I assure you that a Royale Shave, Burger from Finnegan’s Wake and fancy cigar and all of your shout outs was the best damn birthday I have ever had! Thank you!

Oh and I have 2 more years on the warranty until I have to start to find a General Practice doc who has the smallest hands in Manhattan! Anyone got the number of “The ASSMAN”?

MW40_40ZC_03_COLE_HAAN_BROWN_SETI got to be hip is what they told my old ass today at the shoe store. They look funny and my former boss is laughing at me right now!

best-world-wide-barber-Old-School-Barbershop-tattoo-ink-Gdynia-PolandLie back and have a hot towel on your face while you DGAF > a good day at work

5887911559_7c6b1da84b_o.0We drank here one time and for some reason it didn’t click. Granted half of the patrons are old(er) than us but they serve some good food here.

IMG_2912Disclaimer – I attempted to get a full Pastrami sandwich but I forgot that it was RAB’s holiday!

IMG_2914Cigar Inn on a cold rainy afternoon with the boys watching the Yankees Game while smoking a $30 stick and (allegedly Embargoed) cigar from a country that is 90 miles from our border KICKS THE ASS OF YOUR DAY!

IMG_2907I miss my favorite Mixologist who is older than me by 1 day. This was the greatest!

Again Thank You for all the E-Mails, Texts, Calls and Obscene videos!

Happy Easter Spud! CBT, Mrs. CBT, EGP & Cali-SAB went to Easter Service.

Some of you are expecting an off the cuff comment but let me stop you right now. We went to Catholic Mass on Easter Sunday. Let me say it again for those of you who are in disbelief….. Carbunkle Trumpet Esquire attended High Catholic Mass on Easter Sunday.

What I have failed to mention to you for those of you who are still reading and not in complete disbelief please follow along… We attended church at The Church of St. John Nepomucene down the street from where we live. Were you not raised Roman Catholic or have Brother Joel McGraw for class let me help you again. John Neopomucene was the patron of Czechoslovakia, where he is invoked against floods and against slander.

No big deal right? Well make sure you don’t slurp your morning coffee for this next paragraph. The High Mass that EGP, Cali-SAB, Mrs. Trumpet and I attended was said in the Slavic language. Yes for an hour and a half we sat in full Catholic Mass not knowing a spoken word that was being said. Put it this way, EGP leans over in my direction and mouth whispers; Whisky Tango Foxtrot!  Regardless of the fact that we didn’t know any of the responses or were too petrified we did find out that we were in the company of the Arch Bishop who led this service.

Yep we had the Big Brass for the Slovakian Mass. What did you do on Easter Sunday?

197A5221-Version-3Here is the Church on First Avenue at 66th Street. Didn’t THIS BLOG POST back when we were on our way to the bar and ran into The Pope. This happens to be the church we stood by when he rolled by.

HOLYWEEKNote the Easter Sunday, April 1st service and see the 10:15 offering…Yep Full Slovak Mass I guess we should have paid attention to that.

IMG_9072But we saw The Pope almost 2.5 years ago from this church and walked by it a million times to go see Andi, Jo and Ryan at Baker Street and never did we think to take a look at the mass times….

 

Happy Easter!

Carbunkle O’Trumpet’s St. Patrick’s Day Report

Don’t get your hopes up folks, we were pretty tame on the Feast Day Celebration of St. Patrick. We started off with a traditional Irish fare of Corned Beef and Cabbage, Fish and Chips and naturally Guinness Beer. Mrs. Trumpet was able to join in the full shenanigans this year since it fell on a Saturday. Lady Barrister, UWS Holly, Holly’s friend and us started the afternoon at 5 Mile Stone in the UES. The joint was packed and after we ate we promptly headed to St. Ignatius Loyola grade school for some ‘merriment’.

First of all a huge thank you to the Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, The Gnome Lover, Skippy, My UConn Twitter Buddy and others for the hospitality and spending time with you guys on your holiday. The drinks were flowing and I even nibbled on some Irish Soda Bread (that wasn’t as bad as I thought) and we got to enjoy some Kitchen Beer towards the end of the evening.

IMG_2838Once Again I peeped the Band from the warmth of a bar. It doesn’t make you a bad person folks

IMG_2839Yeah Liam doesn’t look to happy walking on 5th Ave

29342288_10160367060855599_4058328705326894732_nAll Hail Caesar! FYI Can you see over Skippy’s head? Yep they had a small electrical fire at the school so they called in one of the only sober engine companies to investigate. Talk about pressure they never had 200 folks tell them they were doing it wrong!

29313302_10160364266510599_98311120442347841_nThe Band circling up

IMG_2843What can I say, those boys like to drink some beer.

IMG_2849What is a Saint Patricks Day without an Irish Car Bomb? This was taken on Sunday at Allie Way and no this wasn’t ours.

Hope you had a great weekend and are not reading this from your attorney’s office because your dumbass got a DUI.

 

 

Finding Memphis Food in New York – Some of you are a bunch of Titty Babies!!!!

Yeah I called you a snowflake, snowflake. I mean come on Memphis….You let a silly 5 year old tweet and article get your panties all in a wad because someone threatened your beloved BBQ? I mean lets talk about some serious fucking issues……

I am kidding folks, slow your breathing. Now that the ‘preview’ part on my two social media platforms picked up those three sentences I can come clean. Much like that ill fated tweet I do hope that I can get a bunch of clicks by people who actually think I was serious. Sorry if some of you think that I was serious about that. I have said it before and I will say it again;

“Trying to Find Memphis Barbeque in New York City is much like trying to find a New York Bagel in Memphis.”

That tweet on Sunday was a perfect segway into my point today. We love eating up here in New York. The different cuisines, the different flavors, the 3 Michelin Star restaurants it is something that you can’t explain in 500 words or less. One such cuisine that we have not really found up here is Cajun/NOLA Food. We tried a Bourbon Street joint near restaurant row a couple years ago and it was horrible. On each trip back to Memphis we would immediately head straight to Bayou Bar and Grill or Second Line to get our fix but there had to be a good option here in New York. 2 weeks ago we were Sunday Funday’ng up on Second Avenue and were talking to some fellow patrons and they recommended a joint up the street at Second Avenue and 90th called The Infirmary.

I made a mental note and this past week I was in the area and popped in for a quick bite. The Menu was straight Cajun/NOLA, they had poboys, catfish entrees and even had Abita beers. The bar reminded me of the old “Sleep Out Louie’s” and Original “Bayou Bar and Grill” white marble and it didn’t smell of stale beer and bleach so that was a plus. The food was killer and we will be back!

IMG_2769Bar and yes they have Frose for you fancy people – Old SOL Alums – recall the frozen Margarita Machine?

IMG_2771You have to respect a joint that has not one but two Absinthe vessels.

CajunInfirmaryNYCRoastBeefPoBoy.0I mean have you ever tried to eat a poboy with a raging hard on? It was fierce I tell you!

IMG_2773“Brunch is Bitches Robo” Alex from the Cigar Inn

IMG_2772Catfish, Fried Chicken, Oysters, PoBoys, Shrimp and Grits, its all there folks!

IMG_2770Cloth napkins, Crystal Hot Sauce – Life is good my friends.

IMG_0917 (1)So they lack Sides and don’t believe in proper sandwich buns, some of you guys are just mean I tell you! They do have a good smoked Pastrami up here that is pretty good.

Hope you had a good laugh and got to the bottom of this post before you are blasting me on Social Media.