Upper East Side

Pics of the Week and it’s been a busy one too!

In no particular order;

  • Happy Birthday Mrs. Trumpet! (what, do you honestly think I am not going to give her top billing? I realize she doesn’t read this worthless dribble but I am all about keeping the peace in 535 square feet)
  • Congrats to Double D on her engagement! It took that boy long enough! I mean Amy Farrah Fowler and I were starting to wonder if he ever was going to get off the fence and quit living in sin with you. No in all seriousness, congrats and elope!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Martha “Snoop is my nizzle” Stewart on the street with work wife this Wednesday? This guy!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Geoffrey Zakarian with “The Rock and Roll Rep” on the street this Thursday? This Guy!! If you are a foodie you will know who I am talking about.
  • Who has 2 thumbs and is going to the New York Food and Wine Festival on Saturday? *Yeah we can figure it out Carbunkle, go fuck yourself!*
  • And we finally have cooler weather in Manhattan! I only saw 3 puffy coats yesterday and one stocking cap.

Enough about me, have a good weekend

1433159218020Not only is a foodie guy he loves cigars and orange pants too! He actually was taller than I imagined.

IMG_1858Views from the penthouse office doesn’t suck you know!

IMG_1860Art is in the eye of the beholder. Or as I see it, someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler

IMG_1854I am going through reading glasses like Trump is going through popularity points

IMG_1853Hey Former Neighbor – I ment to ask you, did you and EBT husband ride one of these?

IMG_1848Doty – I found us a Honkey Tonk in Hells Kitchen!

IMG_1821You forget that you are also a Cruise Line hub till you see one of these big ass things go by on the Hudson

IMG_1820Missed the West Village!

IMG_1838Sometimes you have to stop and smell the fake flowers in our lobby

IMG_1803Happy Birthday to the Cougar! The Monkey Heads are going shopping today for you!

IMG_1802Guessing Someone is a Hot Rod Fan!

Have a good weekend!

 

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“You live the glamorous life in Gotham don’t you?”

I get that a lot from different people who don’t live here. Trust me when I say that our life isn’t always going to Dive Bars, eating at fancy places and driving around in a Rolls with our own driver. Well…..we do like Dive bars but scratch numbers two and three. Anyway here is what my ‘Typical’ Saturday looks like. Mind you I don’t have a car so all of these errands are done on foot and I have to lug this shit back to the apartment.

IMG_1835First I bang out any remaining work ish. That way I don’t have to worry about doing any of that on Sunday. I ‘try’ to get my stuff done during the week but stuff happens.

IMG_1840When I die, I want to come back as a Monkey Head. Tough life as they ‘struggle’ to survive on the mean streets of Manhattan. *the white dog is snoring like a freight train right now as I type this*

IMG_1843I became someone this week. When I hit the door the guys at the Coffee Inn know to get my Pumpkin Spice Latte ready. They also shine up their shoe to kick me square in the balls too!

IMG_1823I know that we have all the delivery services for groceries but every once in a while you just like to go squeeze the produce. Tomatoes are now out of season but I am still jonesing for BLT’s in October.

IMG_1824Looking North on First Avenue – That was the street that we saw the Pope by the way.

IMG_1827I had to swing by my physicians office to get my flu ‘shot’ *KLC Man and RMT – You see what I did there?*

IMG_1826There is Maria’s beloved Citi Bike station. Notice how it is empty. They can’t keep a bike up here in the UES. It was a great day on Saturday also.

IMG_1830Got to swing by and pick up my dry cleaning and say hello to Ms. Nguyen

IMG_1831This place is no bigger than a shoe box. They do laundry by the pound, offer dry cleaning and she does my alterations too

IMG_1828On this past Saturday Momma went all the way to Westchester county to Apple Pick but they had major logistical issues so she promptly came back. Roughly she spent 6 hours for nothing so I figure she could use some flowers. According to ‘my guy’ the flowers were good this week since the hurricanes are not stopping flights.

IMG_1825Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Hospital

IMG_1839Had to pick up some Paper Towels since we were on the last roll. *Insert President Joke here*

IMG_1833Trust me when I say that bag weighs roughly 40 pounds. You have to plan out your trip if you don’t want someone to lug your stuff for you.

IMG_1834Since it was 86 degrees this week, I had to have a suit cleaned since it was kind of ‘stinky’ I will be ready to start bitching about being cold soon!

IMG_1836Finally Some Carbunkle Trumpet Time!

Keep it light folks!

Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

Let’s make a trip to the Bodega

Last week there was an article that was going around that some tech gurus were considering replacing New York’s iconic bodegas with a vending machine style of business. This got some traction on twitter and naturally I chimed in with less than 140 characters;

IMG_1738 (1)

I have always been a fan of locally owned joints over chain establishments. Not only do you keep someone in business you also better service and have a better experience. Now I am not going to debate the whole “is it a bodega, a deli, or a corner grocery” that has gone on for years. According to Google a bodega has the following items in it;

  • A Bodega Cat hanging around the store
  • Dusty ass grocery items on the shelves
  • Individually sold items that aren’t really supposed to be sold (ie single cigarettes, sleeves of crackers, hostess cupcakes)
  • Very strange and general items (ie pantyhose, household items)
  • Nothing organic or Vegan (my kind of store)

Ms Lee runs the Bodega down the street from our apartment. She is a very friendly woman and has a pretty good Sausage, Egg and Cheese on a roll that I get on the weekends. You almost feel like you have to support her as she works 6 days a week from morning to night. It is where I get my weekly flowers for momma, an occasional diet coke and if I need to overpay for some Bud Light she is my girl.

IMG_1698Here is the store on E74th street and 1st Ave

IMG_1699If you need any kindling for a fireplace I got the place

IMG_1700Raul is what I can imagine a contract employee who runs the flowers

IMG_1702The Soft Drink cooler

IMG_1701Not the best prices on produce as compared to the street vendors but that is cool

IMG_1703Here is where the Ass Rape occurs. $10.00 a 6 pack

IMG_1704I think the only reason that they carry all the seasonings is because Nino’s is nearby and they run out of stuff.

IMG_1705She does keep a tidy store

IMG_1706Deli and Flat Top for Food Orders (yeah I guess it can be considered a corner grocery store but it hits all the bodega check lists)

IMG_1707Notice how they keep the Candy on the lower shelves? That is so the kids can see it

IMG_1708Mrs. Lee wasn’t feeling it for the picture

Go support Local!

 

Pics of The Week

Sorry I have been slacking as of late. This job thing is really getting in the way of my blogging. Oh wait, this sucker doesn’t pay for shit so you may see about 2 posts a week. Anyway here are some good pics from the past couple of weeks.

IMG_1672Always good to see Murph in the Big Apple. Murph and I both worked for a small University back in the day. That means that we didn’t make much money when we worked there but when we die we automatically get a  “get into heaven free” no questions asked pass. Well…..Murph will get in, I may have to do some ‘penance’

IMG_1607Couple pic of us from the Pipes and Drums Prom

IMG_1676Here I go taking up for Bodegas and one bends me over for a 6 pack

IMG_1661Went to Trader Joe’s for Vino

IMG_1588Pic on the left is Momma on her first day of School. On the right is our child on his first day of the 5th grade. Me and the dogs are pretty proud!

I have some extra pics and will try to post at lunchtime today! Have a good weekend!

 

 

 

Pictures of the Week

It was a great week last week and I have the bank statements to prove it!

IMG_1491What this really means is that you should double up on Gold Bond

IMG_1476Friends of ours were in town on Saturday so we met up and had a drink. It was so great seeing them.

IMG_1468Anyone need some Corn? The Farmers Market at Union Square is legit!

IMG_1469We tore it up at the end of Restaurant Week.

IMG_1471Then we tore our livers up!

IMG_1466You can’t tell because of the shadow but “The Water Line” on my pants was up to my knee. The Friday Rain was a bitch!

Have a good weekend folks!

Pictures from the Week

These pics are in no particular order. Have a good weekend.

IMG_1449Why Hello Jeffrey the Husband of Barefoot Contessa. Yep Grainbin Girl is now really going to hate me!

IMG_1400So when you don’t wash your hair for at least a year this is what happens to you.

IMG_1457I am so with this! They did it to me and I couldn’t walk for a year!

IMG_1414I bet that this would be great at the Board Meetings in South Bluffs

IMG_1408Picked up a 36’r for the trip home from the Bronx.

Have a good weekend folks. Be nice to each other!

Two Years living at 40.7672° N, 73.9560° W – We are now home.

I will get to the title of this entry in a minute. But for those of you naysayers who said “That short fucker won’t last a month up there with them Yankees” pay up bitches! First of all apologies to my now 10 readers (that’s right we have 10 readers now) for not posting anything yesterday, I have had a week from hell. It was 2 years ago today that we pulled up to 1330 First Avenue (that’s the Lat & Long in the title) in a rented U-Haul Truck and unloaded all of our stuff into a 535 square foot apartment in the Upper East Side. At the time I didn’t have no job, no idea of what we were in for, and I just moved 1600 miles away from a helluva network that I had built for 45 years.

I have spoken ad nauseum about “pulling off the Band-Aid” or how going out on a limb has been such an unbelievable experience for Mrs. Trumpet and I. Even last night as we were having drinks at our local establishment we talked how after Mrs. Trumpet kicked cancer’s ass that it woke the both of us up. Aside from moving up here, both of us now have jobs with companies that we actually enjoy working for. Both of us are working harder than we ever have and it doesn’t really bother us. This time next spring she will have finished up her MBA at NYU as she took 21 credits this past year. I mean, I bitched when I had to take 12 hours at the University but Superwoman knocked that shit out of the park.

LOOK DOWN HERE I AM FINALLY GETTING TO MY POINT – Sorry I have a bad case of having diarrhea of the mouth and like to get on my soapbox. So a couple of weeks back as I was enjoying my Murray’s Bagel (Not Toasted, mind you) I was reading Rebecca’s POST about being back in the US but how Belize was now actually home. This started to make me think; I have pretty much all of my possessions in a room that is no bigger than your standard garage and I am very content with that notion. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss that I am not there to watch my nieces and nephews grow up. I do miss listening to RJ bitch because he has 2 girls in diapers (I am kidding Mal-O-Rie) and his beer drinking is taking a hit due to it. I miss seeing my friends and family but as much as you may not like to hear this; home is now in New York.

With my job there is always discussions about “So what is your next step?” If you have been hiding under a rock you realize that I don’t actually sell tour bus tickets to the tourists in Times Square but actually the place I work for has it’s Headquarters in Memphis. I hear this a lot “So do you want to move back to Memphis?” and my normal answer is “I haven’t even figured out this job yet, why do I want to move already?” But the truth is that who really knows what will happen. I learned a very long time ago not to burn any bridges because one day you may need to use that bridge again. You will never ever see me bash Memphis like the spoiled little shit millennial blog writer did who moved to the west Coast. Sure Memphis has some issues but that is what makes it such a unique place to live. I get asked all the time up here where I am from. When I tell them they normally give me the “We have been to Nashville, is that the same?” You try not to publically laugh at them but I normally I say no but ask them if they were there for a bachelor/bachelorette party. Next steps for Mrs. Trumpet and I? Who knows, we are enjoying living on this rock right now.

IMG_8491

I am glad that day was over. Trust me, driving 1600 miles in a U-Haul that is govern’d down to 70 miles per hour will make one a tad crazy.

IMG_1403Hey Scoop – Don’t hate the player, hate the Game! I am glad to read that you are doing well up north of the bridge. We will be in Mexico around the middle of December for a couple of days.

IMG_1399Hey Fucker – Where are those Trolleys that I used to bark at?

IMG_1401Jo – “You do know that we carry 30 beers on tap and have a substantial list of New York Microbrews don’t you?”
Me – “There are starving kids in china too but I am not sending my half eaten sandwich over there. Give me a Bud Light Please.”

lady-liberty-facing-theThat view doesn’t suck you know

I see that I have gone well over my 400 words and we have to get ready for a 4 year olds birthday party in the Bronx so I will close with a corny saying that I have seen people post.

“Memphis will always be in my heart but New York City is Home.”

Thanks for reading this worthless dribble now for 2 years. Next year we really tear the roof of this sucker!

Q – What Does 2 years ago CBT and “The Mooch” have in common?

Editors Note – Yes, I am delving into the political genre. You know that it violates my code of discussing the Taboo 5 topics (Religion, Politics, Current Events, Gun Control, & Birth Control) but this is too good not to pass up. 

The answer you ask? 2 years ago Carbunkle Trumpet was without a job much like The Mooch but hell, At least the Mooch has a car to drive around town! I know cheap shot but hey you have to laugh to keep from crying. One of the things that I actually enjoy on Facebook is the tab “On this day” as I like to look back on stuff that I either posted or people posted on my page. Two years ago yesterday I was reminded that I left my position at HW/AMF and promptly after leaving Tully Street I turned in my Jeep so not only was I jobless I didn’t’ even have a damn car to drive. Talk about taking a plunge!

I plan on posting later this week a look back being that this Saturday will mark 2 years of living here in Gotham. This time 2 years ago I think that I was trying to hide my fears of walking close to the edge by having one last “Board Meeting” with RJ, Mal-O-Rie, Lisa Marie, Double Birds, KS, and some others. Again I want to thank Ernie Mellor the owner and head Pitmaster and his wife Lynn for the opportunity to work with a bunch of great people at Hog Wild/A Moveable Fest Catering Company. That is a class organization and I am a better person for working with such an eclectic staff. Love you guys!

Back to Normal Banter – This past weekend we celebrated the start of Restaurant Week/Month. We had dinner at Boulud Sud with the Murphranks and enjoyed many drinks afterwards at our Per Se drinking establishment. Dinner was killer on Friday night so Saturday we kept pretty quiet and hung out at the house considering it was overcast and dreary. Sunday we met up with the old Neighbor and her husband and ended up having dinner at Hearth with Maria and Bad Back Bill. 

Mrs. Trumpet got to mark down that she saw another celebrity. Walking back from drinks with the Neighbor and Husband we strolled down Madison Avenue and saw Rod Stewart having lunch with his wife Penny Lancaster on the street at Nello. We walked by and I had to point him out to Mrs. Trumpet but she now can say she has seen Al Roker, Larry David and now Rod Stewart. Not too shabby on a Sunday if you ask me.

IMG_1390What am I? I am a Christmas Tree because I am lit! Well not so much lit but tired from 2 days of seeing bands at CitiField.

IMG_1384You know me, I don’t like to take pictures of plated food. I think that JAM Foodie was snapping pics of plates so go peruse her Instagram account.

rod_stewart_2015Didn’t want to be “That Guy” and take a pic of Rod having lunch because that is tacky. That and the big ass bodyguard who was standing right by the table made us think twice.

IMG_1385Anybody need any Hay for a Wedding Prop? There was some on E86th Street.

Have a good day and try to stay cool!

 

Who does a guy have to feck to get some southern staple foods up here?

I get asked all the time what are the downsides to living up here in New York? It hasn’t changed since we moved up here;

  • You never have enough time.
  • If you are not careful you can run out of money.
  • The weather can be lousy.

I was reminded last night of that there is another downside to living up here. To go shopping for southern dishes you can’t just run to one store to get everything.

Case in point last nights dinner. We finally had a break in the weather and yesterday we enjoyed some below 80 degree weather. Mrs. Trumpet and I were discussing what we were going to cook for dinner and I suggested a veggie plate.

*For my Northeastern readers – we have a number of places that serve “Meat and 2” plates meaning a southern protein (meatloaf, chicken fried steak, ect) and some traditional southern veggies (mac & cheese, greens, black eyed peas, ect)*

We decided on the Veggie Plate (which is isn’t vegetarian by any means) and we texted a couple of different menu items. Mrs. Trumpet ordered some items from Target.com and one of the items she added to the shopping cart to get free shipping was Glory Brands Turnip Greens. I was craving some Fried Green Tomatoes since somebody on Facebook asked where they could get some Green Tomatoes. Next on the list was Black Eyed Peas since the last time I ate them was New Years Day. I was excited about the menu and was looking forward to whipping this one up in the kitchen.

I head out to my local fruit and vegetable ‘guy’ on the corner of 69th & 1st and he didn’t have any Green Tomatoes. Next I headed to Morton (Just bend over and hope they use Astroglide this time) Williams and here is where my anger began. First off, they don’t carry Glory Brands, they only carry Goya. Goya is a great company and I don’t mean any disrespect but come on! They don’t have any Black Eyed Peas. They didn’t have any frozen, didn’t have any dried, and didn’t even have them in a can. As I am talking to a friend of mine about my shopping fail they inform me that I should head to 110th and Lex as they have a store that carries a lot of those items. Who da Feck has time to visit 3 stores for one meal? I can’t believe I am about to say this but I miss Gangster Kroger!

goyaNo disrespect to Mr. Goya but come on, can we get rid of the pink beans and maybe sell black eyed peas or have some more ‘southern ethnic’ brands?

glory brandsNipped this off the internet, I would kill to play less than a dollar for a can of veggies.

IMG_1374Since nobody carries Green Tomatoes, I went with Jersey Tomatoes and decided on making a Tomato Pie

IMG_1373Cup of Sharp Cheddar, Cup of Swiss, Cup of Mayo, Green Onions with Salt & Pepper is the ‘goo’ that makes the pie so good.

IMG_1377Of course I went with some skillet cornbread!

IMG_1375White Beans and that isn’t what Mr. Goya calls them. Oh and if you look closely you can see bacon in that pot. Bacon gives it flavor!

IMG_1376Sweet and Sour Turnip Greens! And no Morton Williams doesn’t carry fresh Turnips either!

IMG_1378Mater Pie, it wasn’t as good as Momma Mellor’s but considering I am up here fending for my southern life, I think it was just fine!

Have a good day and please if you can swing by the Cupboard or Little Tea Shop and tell Charlie and Sue respectively that Carbunkle misses them!