Upper East Side

14 days can make one two week…..

I know I should keep my day job because of that groan’r. No it isn’t Lent just yet as my yearly Lenten tradition of providing you with corny kid jokes on The Book of Face. For 14 days (hopefully ending today) in a row we have had below freezing temps in Gotham. This past weekend it was BSC (Ball Shrinking Cold) as with the wind chill from the East River temps were below freezing and were -1 to -15 degrees.

Yes I know that Memphis had some cold weather and there are some who have to pay a plumber and even some of my San Pedro folks were bitching but give me a break. When you have to put more layers than an onion to take the dogs out you know it is cold. Hopefully today (Tuesday) the temps get above freezing and we break the streak. We had snow last Thursday and for all of you who think that the snow in New York is so pretty have obviously never been here a couple of days after it snows. The snow turns into New York Snow aka dirty and smelly.

IMG_2532You know it is going to be bad when they send out alerts because of weather.

IMG_2519What the Hell are These Things Used For?

IMG_2524Thanks to UWS Holly for this Gem of information. Get you a cheap pair of snow goggles during a Cyclone Bomb. Blowing Snow into your eyes sucks but wearing these helps.

IMG_2523Oh look how pretty 1st Avenue is. Yeah it sucks!

53677705979__45D17950-2FF6-4AF6-B990-81795E5E223FSnow on our window.

IMG_2537Afterwards the sidewalks are shoveled but normally you lose a couple feet to the piles of snow. This makes for lots of bottlenecks during rush hour. Especially at the corners which aren’t plowed.

IMG_2546It can be a mess if you are parked on the right side of the street. That’s where the plows push the snow. Aka your car will get blocked in! Recall that shovel in the earlier picture?

IMG_2535This dog loved the snow. Our dogs…not so much!

IMG_2538Here is what sucks about plowed streets. I can’t jaywalk as easy unless I want to mountain goat up and over the ice mountain.

IMG_2520Best Part of Thursday during the snow storm!

Hope you had a good one!

 

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2017 in Review – What did What?

Thanks to Jensized on a great post. Do yourself a favor and go over and check out what she accomplished in 2017. Talk about an overachiever! I mean the little shit ran 3 half marathons. Hell my old ass got tired watching the one outside my apartment and I was drinking beer and smoking a cigar! No in all seriousness great job Jen on your accomplishments. You got me beat in that I could cook pretty much anything under the sun except my pancakes making skills stink.

Anyway with out further fanfare here is Carbunkle Trumpet’s List of stuff that I, we or as a group did in 2017 in no particular order.

  1. Rode the pretty new shiny Q on Years Day from the Upper East Side to Coney Island to watch the Coney Island Polar Bears plunge into the Atlantic Ocean! You can kiss my ass if you think I am going to do that tomorrow. It is supposed to be in the low teens and the wind will be blowing like a bitch!
  2. Ate at some nice restaurants this past year to name a few and we drank a couple beers in some killer dive bars too; The James Beard House, Peter Lugar, ABC Kitchen, Boulud Sud and Boulud Bar. Sadly we missed Jean Georges due to the shomits and were out of town for Per Se’ this year. For the Dive bars we went to a bar on recommendations from Andi and had killer frozen drinks, found the Trailer Park Bar and the Murphranks took us to a couple fun bars. Not too shabby if you ask me. I can already hear Grainbin Girl cursing me. Hey Allison, we are going to make a go of it at Rao’s. I will let you know how it turns out.
  3. Mrs. Trumpet and I celebrated 20 years of marriage! I think we may make it, I guess we need to talk about having kids now.
  4. Saw some stuff that I still could not explain to my parents/priest/doctor. I am still trying to wrap my head around the Coney Island Mermaid Festival and let’s not forget Elegant Elliot!
  5. Got to dust off the Passport and got off the island. Dominican Republic (during rainy season) and Rivera Maya/Isla Mujeres
  6. Visited 2 new cities this year and had a blast; Portland Maine and Gulf Shores Alabama.
  7. Got to welcome Wilhelmina & Light Bulb into the world and got to see little baby Kristy get married this year! More kids to eventually wipe our asses when we get old.
  8. Mrs. Trumpet powered through Grad School and only has 1 class left in 2018. Then her arse will be hanging a masters from NYU on the wall. I am very proud of her for undertaking this.
  9. We made not 1 but 2 trips to the New York City beaches this summer. And its not as bad as one would think. Thanks work wife and Andi!
  10. We dressed up a couple times this year for fun. NYPD Pipes and Drums Dinner, Marine Prom, Pigs and Pints during Food and Wine week!

img_0148God Love these folks. It will be cold as balls tomorrow!

IMG_1586Kicking Ass and taking names since she got up here!

IMG_1875I have been watching Robert Irvine’s shows now. He is great!

1408906_1280x720Love me some beach! And it only takes an hour train ride on either LIRR or MTA

IMG_1082The Mermaid Parade. LZ was a good sport and wore that heavy arse crown all day long!

IMG_0940Lisa Marie and her little sister!

img_0425You got plenty of time to have kids Doctor Kristy. We are so happy for you guys!

img_0338I still say that I won Valentines Day! Had 2 smoking hot dates that night! Hopefully I get to see the one on the left minus all these coats (get your head out of the gutter you pervs) this February down on another island below the 17th parallel.

IMG_2181Lobster Mac and Cheese? Why yes I will!

IMG_1288I go from Lobster Mac and Cheese to Waffle house. By the way does any of my NYC readers know if there is one up here? And it doesn’t take 3 subway transfers, a bus transfer and a burro ride?

IMG_0553This was a fun bar, it is a time machine and defiantly was staged but nevertheless it was fun. Oh and the Tots were killer too!

 

Happy New Year and may your 2018 be a good one! Thanks for reading!

Pics from the Week – Christmas Edition

Man o Man has this week flown by. Amazing what happens when you have 4 days off and you roll into the week balls to the wall. This week was a good one and it is officially Christmas since our tree is lit, the one Rockefeller Center is lit and the former neighbor in Atlantic City is probably lit too!

IMG_2269Tree in Rockefeller Center the day before lighting.

IMG_2268Our Tree before lighting and trimming. #lotsofSap

IMG_2249The guys on 1st Ave at E71st were blowing and going.

IMG_2284Our Tree Lit and Decorated with the 8 ornaments.

IMG_2283Oh Look The Tree is Lit in Rockefeller Center *as seen on TV

IMG_2289It’s Christmas because the Doormen are working overtime!

Seasoned Greetings Folks!

Pictures of the Week (oh boy)

I am actually going to break this up into 2 pics of the week because if I am going to go to hell I don’t want to be judged because I also made fun of Christmas Trees. This past week was a wild one. I ran into Elegant Elliot twice, I saw a huge violation with the MTA and a bunch of wild stuff happened too! On a personal note, I love living in this city. It is quirky, weird, has strange people living here and it has embraced me with open arms.

IMG_2291I do love the “failing” media up here. Nothing is sacred!

IMG_2280Yes that is a bucket of KFC on the Queens Bound F Train

IMG_2241Soak it in Folks, Soak it in! Technically this dog is in compliance of being in a bag or kennel

IMG_2270And Here is LZ’s customer, I should have called these guys for the aforementioned picture

IMG_2224Very Strange to me, who can leave their clothes in the laundry room for 2 weeks and not need them. I would run out of undershirts after a week.

IMG_2267I love me some of this Little Brown Woman! She and I Snapchat all the time during Sunday Fundays

IMG_2290You know how wonderful it feels to have to purchase Suntan Lotion in December? Mexico bound next week!

IMG_2294Happy 5 years of having this little Monkey Head! I ran the Memphis Half Marathon 5 years ago and we went over to my dad’s house and they got her for me. They asked me what we should name her and this was the year the Mayan calendar was to end. I run a half marathon and the world should end – Hello Maya!

Be on the lookout for a noontime post! And have a good weekend!

Pictures from Thanksgiving Week (didn’t take a lot of pics)

Had a lot of fun with friends who were in town over Thanksgiving Weekend.

IMG_2255It was kind of chilly and the crowds at Holiday Market on Union Square made my butt twitch so I needed a warmer and something to calm my nerves.

IMG_2243Walked to get EGP at Penn Station and snapped this picture. This is the front of Macy’s where they show the parade.

IMG_2244The Camera and Viewing Station for the Macy’s Parade

IMG_2247Best View of the Parade on Thursday. From the comfort of the couch with a coffee and on the couch.

IMG_2253Christmas decorations at Lillie’s on 17 Street. Hey RJ – We drank there!

IMG_2254If you don’t get into the holiday spirit after drinking here you have something wrong with you.

IMG_2250I thought that EGP was going to have a stroke when I purchased a Tall Boy Bud Light for the Train ride to Woodlawn. I told her it was tradition.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

The things you see running the marathon

Like I said earlier this week if you have never witnessed a Marathon it is a special time. The New York Marathon is a huge and as Katherine Switzer said; “If you are losing faith in human nature, go out and watch a marathon.” She hit the nail on the head with that comment.  Below are some funnier costumes we saw this past Sunday.

IMG_2111The Blues Brothers braving the rain on 1st Avenue

IMG_2110Wizard of Oz runners. S/O to the St. Jude Hero in the back of the picture

IMG_2109Dude don’t fucking Marathon and Text! That is Rule 2 behind ‘get nipple guards’

IMG_2101Um ok, I get it Mario

IMG_2100Yo Luigi, you better get your ass in gear, you be running second

IMG_2112She.Is.Wearing.Flip.Flops.For.A.Marathon. Yes saw that too!

IMG_2098I can’t really give them grief because if I ran this far I would be wearing a Tu-Tu also

IMG_2097In the middle of the 2 yellow shirt runners is a blind person. How cool is that!

IMG_2088Viva France!

IMG_2081Ok, I will bite, I guess that the other superheroes took the day off

IMG_2079Didn’t know it was a formal affair!

IMG_2078Running Aztec or is he a Mayan.

IMG_2072Don’t mess with his Tu-Tu

IMG_2080He must have lost a bet

andi and joNow the 50K runners who finished the marathon got a medal but these two were the real MVPs of the Marathon. They kept us in ‘bottled water’ after the Quitter Bus went by. Love me some J & A!

Have a good evening, it is supposed to be cold tomorrow!

“I have made a huge mistake” or “I am going to finish this Mother Fucker!”

Sorry for the profanity right off the bat. Those were the two very different comments from Marathon Runners said to the Asian Fireman and I yesterday. Happy Marathon Sunday Folks! From what I learned yesterday there are two huge events in the UES that one should attend; St. Patrick’s Day and Marathon Sunday. The previous two Marathons were either spent in bed with MPH or last year when Ba and “The Lady Killer” came to town.

This year the Asian Fireman and I hung out on First Ave to cheer our friend Stuart who decided to fly across ‘the pond’ and pay good money to run in 5 boroughs. The weather was great for the runners this year. Well aside from the rain but it wasn’t too hot nor too cold. If you have never ran a marathon you probably won’t get what this post means. Hell I wogged (walked & jogged) the Memphis half Marathon about 5 years ago and I hated it. I couldn’t imagine doing 26 miles much less a 5K these days.

Regardless, there were a bunch of significances and noted stories for this year’s marathon. One was the retirement of Meb Keflezighi who is one of the most celebrated US long distance runners in history. Second was the return of Katherine Switzer who was the first woman to run in the Boston Marathon. If you don’t know who she is, go ahead and google her. She is pretty special with regards to women’s rights. Oh and she was running the NYC Marathon at age 71 years young. My 47 year old ass got tired standing there in the rain yesterday.

And finally we were there to celebrate our buddy Stuart who was running on behalf of the MacMillan Charity. Stuart did a fine job yesterday and finished the beast. Also running in the marathon was Jessie who was also a friend of Mrs. Trumpet and mine. Great Job gang! Hope you had a blast and enjoyed the ride!

IMG_2047To say that security was tight is an understatement. We were not allowed to cross the street starting at 8AM and the cops didn’t play.

IMG_2052Here come the ladies. The order of the race is; wheelchair, ladies elite, men’s elite, general masses X5

IMG_2053Blonde haired runner in the middle of the pic, yep that is Shalane Flanagan and she won the women’s elite!

IMG_2058To say that the women were running fast is an understatement.

IMG_2060One of the wheelchair marathoner’s

IMG_2063Here come the Men’s Elite division

IMG_2065Tight Pack of runners, how they didn’t knock into each other I will never understand.

IMG_2066There he is folks, 42 years old and running professionally. He finished 11th this year.

IMG_2068Meb had more press and security around him than anyone! I am glad to say that I saw him run by me at 8mph!

IMG_2084The rain was a pain in the ass but I was ok with the temps

IMG_2090Snapped this pic as to it seemed a strange outfit to run in. Then Katherine Switzer ran by. Obviously he was security, or maybe he liked running in jeans.

IMG_2091How one person can run and still talk is amazing to me. How one who is 70 years old and can finish a marathon is fucking amazing!

IMG_2092#261 was the bib she was wearing when the race organizer tried to remove it from her. Her boyfriend at the time hip checked the race official to the ground. In 1972 Women were allowed to run in Boston.

IMG_2094Lots of St Jude Hero Runners at the Marathon today. Shout out to my good friend Photo Nikki who did a flying trip this weekend to photograph them. I cheered each and everyone of them as they ran by. *Nikki – I hope we get to see you at Christmas!

IMG_2075There goes our friend Jessie in the Blue/Purple Top!

IMG_2102Here comes Stuart!

IMG_2103He doesn’t look like he has run 16 miles does he?

IMG_2106Dude, you are the hero, we are just two shmo’s standing in the rain smoking cigars!

IMG_2113After 2 hours of standing there when Stuart ran by the parade was coming to an end.

IMG_2115Here is the quitter bus. Trust me when I say that if I ever did decide to run this fucker I would be riding in this by the end of the race

IMG_2120 (1)And then there are these 2 assholes!

Congrats to all the runners and finishers!

More Pics of the Trip – Lady Killer and Ba take Manhattan 3.0

So this trip we did a couple things differently. For one we took the subway a little bit more considering we have the wonderful Q Line. Ba wasn’t too thrilled about taking the Subway. No she isn’t a public transportation snob. She was a little taken aback that once she stepped into the subway car half of the people sitting jumped up and offered her their seat. We did giggle a little about this during the trip.

IMG_1993While we were being delayed due construction I snapped a pic of Lady Killer on his iFoam

IMG_1994Here is a pic of Sissy playing Candy Crush sitting next to The Lady Killer

IMG_1995And here is Ba also on her iFoam while we waited 11 stories below ground. At least they all were acting like New Yorkers and avoided eye contact with the crazy people!

IMG_2003Good Times at Peter Lugar with the Family!

IMG_2006Normally everything in Shobo’s hand looks huge but not when you are comparing your hand to Kevin Durant. #TWSS

IMG_1998I need to come over for one of the lunch specials.

Like I said, a good time was had by all!

Lady Killer and Ba Take Manhattan 3.0

So back when we told the family that we were moving up to Manhattan there were mixed reactions. Naturally The Lady Killer, nephew, was luke warm at the thought of visiting us up here. Granted the kid was 10 but his list was pretty much the same as a lot of first time tourists;

  • Empire State (nope)
  • Jimmy Fallon Show (sorry dude you have to be 18 to see the show)
  • Ice Skating at Rockefeller Center (we ain’t visiting the ER this trip dude)
  • Statue of Liberty (how about a trip on the Staten Island Ferry instead)
  • 9/11 Memorial, Wall Street, Stock Exchange, Bull (think we got 2 of 4 knocked out)
  • Times Square (you must want a punch in the throat)
  • Nike Town (oh someone must have been on “the google”)
  • Gap in Times Square (just seeing if you are still paying attention)

Since this trip was the 3rd trip for Ba and the Lady Killer we had added trips to Stadium Goods and Fight Club. If you are not sure what those stores are, get a load of this shit. If you want to find a pair of those Patrick Ewing Georgetown Nike’s that were all the rage back in 1985? I am sure one of these stores has them but you better bring your wallet because you are going to pay a pretty penny for them. This trip Lady Killer didn’t get any fancy old school shoes but he did swing by The NBA Store and NikeTown to get some swag.

IMG_1979Tortured J-Bob a little in saying that it was going to be closed during the weekend for cleaning. He didn’t buy it!

IMG_2009Lady Killer and Cuz AL (in addition to shaving that shit off his upper lip we are going to work on his smiling)

IMG_2010How can I snub someone who came to Patrizias to celebrate their birthday. I may be an asshole but I am not an insensitive one. *photo credit to AL

IMG_1999Lady Killer and “My Aunt Bette” – Again dude why no smile? Oh and next trip we are cutting the Bama Bangs a little.

IMG_2002Bacon and Tomatoes – What else do you eat at Peter Lugar?

IMG_2004Oh yeah, I had a mild chubby when they brought this sucker to the table. Pro-Tip – save some bread for the meat juice.

IMG_2005The View of one of the shoe walls at Flight Club. Please note that this picture was taken while I was sitting my big ass on a bench.

We had a fun time! Come back next summer and we can take you to Coney Island!

Pics of the Week and it’s been a busy one too!

In no particular order;

  • Happy Birthday Mrs. Trumpet! (what, do you honestly think I am not going to give her top billing? I realize she doesn’t read this worthless dribble but I am all about keeping the peace in 535 square feet)
  • Congrats to Double D on her engagement! It took that boy long enough! I mean Amy Farrah Fowler and I were starting to wonder if he ever was going to get off the fence and quit living in sin with you. No in all seriousness, congrats and elope!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Martha “Snoop is my nizzle” Stewart on the street with work wife this Wednesday? This guy!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Geoffrey Zakarian with “The Rock and Roll Rep” on the street this Thursday? This Guy!! If you are a foodie you will know who I am talking about.
  • Who has 2 thumbs and is going to the New York Food and Wine Festival on Saturday? *Yeah we can figure it out Carbunkle, go fuck yourself!*
  • And we finally have cooler weather in Manhattan! I only saw 3 puffy coats yesterday and one stocking cap.

Enough about me, have a good weekend

1433159218020Not only is a foodie guy he loves cigars and orange pants too! He actually was taller than I imagined.

IMG_1858Views from the penthouse office doesn’t suck you know!

IMG_1860Art is in the eye of the beholder. Or as I see it, someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler

IMG_1854I am going through reading glasses like Trump is going through popularity points

IMG_1853Hey Former Neighbor – I ment to ask you, did you and EBT husband ride one of these?

IMG_1848Doty – I found us a Honkey Tonk in Hells Kitchen!

IMG_1821You forget that you are also a Cruise Line hub till you see one of these big ass things go by on the Hudson

IMG_1820Missed the West Village!

IMG_1838Sometimes you have to stop and smell the fake flowers in our lobby

IMG_1803Happy Birthday to the Cougar! The Monkey Heads are going shopping today for you!

IMG_1802Guessing Someone is a Hot Rod Fan!

Have a good weekend!