Upper East Side

Well, We Didn’t Kill Anyone This Week….Yet!

That is the normal exchange with my favorite Concierge, Trevor, here in the building. We do this every Friday morning when I take the dog out. It is kind of a tradition. So without further adeau….here are the pictures of the week.

Billy’s Sports Bar and Lounge next to Yankee Stadium – Great Coat/Bag Check
Back in Yankee Stadium but this time it was hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock
I used to make fun of people for wearing funny shoes. I really should think about revisiting it.
Heard all my Memphis Folks talk about the Cousin’s Lobster Truck and didn’t know that it was a chain/food truck.
S(Squared) and RAB – I have some questions about your religion.
Shout out to Celi’s Deli in San Pedro. I saw these Chicken Tostadas and said “Si”
So the White Claw is a thing now eh?
So apparently this joint is now a crime scene. I hope you died a long death Jeffrey.

Have a good weekend Folks. Next week we take our show on the road.

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Highfalutin at The Met

So we had a great time seeing Play it Loud with all the musical artifacts and current instruments. I found out on Monday afternoon that John Meyer actually use Jerry Garcia’s “Wolf” on Saturday (or Sunday) and it was to be returned to the wall on Tuesday. After we did the exhibit we passed on the Gift Shop and trekked up to the rooftop of the Met for a drink and a view of the Park from the East Side.

I won’t tell you how much one round cost for us but the view up there is pretty sweet. Each Spring they have an exhibit up there and a lot of times we just throw up our hands and say “Ok its Art.” Last year UWS Holly and us saw an exhibit that was some creature in trash bags. This year it was Balls and Frames or as we call it; a perfectly good waste of space.

Later we went to a safe place and hung out with our Cubano purveyor of Spirits and got to see our Salad Loving friends Mike and Carrie. Yes I called you salad eating jokers out on my worthless dribble. Got eat a steak or in our case some Fried Cheese.

Enough words here are some great pictures from this past Friday.

They had a pen and pencil drawing class for Pride Month. That is a lot of ruffles!
Kuddos to the Met for embracing Pride Month. They really had a great attendance here.
The proctor was giving helpful pointers
Call it what you want – but this is a waste of space!
Really we need a 6 food barrier from some rusting 4X4 metal?
At least we can see the West Side
Too Much Face for the Robo Selfie!
Balls and sticks and it probably costs more than your house, your parents house and people up here too!
Love us some Midtown Manhattan Views
Back to familiar Places and a proper Selfie

Like I said, we had a blast on Friday.

Play It Loud Exhibit @ The Met

When I heard that The Met was going to have an exhibit featuring the musical instruments I was pumped. This past Friday Geranium and I made out way back to the UES and took advantage of the nice weather and late summer hours. If you are a Music Nerd or fan of Concerts/Festivals you need to see this. BK – I know you probably won’t want to come from Queens to the UES but you need to see this. It is worth the price of admission. What I found out very quickly was how many guitars I would see and immediately say “Oh that is X’s guitar” without needing to read the description.

Anyway this is going to be a long post with the pictures so enough rambling.

Chuck Berry’s Guitar
Jerry Lee Lewis aka The Killer’s Piano!
Muddy Water’s Guitar
The King’s Guitar – That is Elvis Presley if you didn’t know that. And we can’t be friends.
Who doesn’t recognize Bo Diddly’s Cigar Box Shaped Guitar
Of course it does help when the talent puts their name on the instrument.
The Beatles…..never heard of them
John Lennon’s guitar on loan from Yoko
Pete Townshend’s Les Paul that he didn’t destroy
Edward VanHalen’s Ax
Recognize one of Jimmy Hendrix’s V?
What is going on here? Did someone pull a Thomas Crown on this exhibit?
It says it should be Keith Richards guitar that was gifted to him by a guy named Eric Clapton. What gives?
What an asshole that would Indian giver his guitar? Well he has outlived a lot of old rockers
The Edge’s Stratocaster. I mean he didn’t ask for this for his tour.9
Jimmy Hendrix’s Flying V. Notice the hologram behind the exhibit.
Angus Young’s Guitar and Geranium
Who doesn’t recognize Flea’s Bass
I am going out on a limb here and say that this is Patty Smith’s touring instrument.
Here is for you Mo-Ho Band Geeks
Clarence Carter’s Sax!
No need to name the artist. Everyone knows this custom baby
Steve Miller’s Les Paul
Bruce Springsteen’s Fender
And if you are wondering how I am able to recall all this I would take a picture of the description following the exhibit. I may have been born at night but not last night.
Paul Stanley’s Guitar
I will give you a hint – This song was sung by everyone at My Pleasure Bar in Fayetteville Arkansas in the early 90’s.
“I am a Joker, I am a Smoker, I am a Midnight Toker….”
A 5 Neck Custom? Cheap Trick anyone?
So this is the fragment of Jimmy Hendrix’s Stratocaster that he destroyed in a sacrifice at the Monterrey Pop Festival in 1967. He then dropped to his knees and poured lighter fluid on it and lit it on fire.
Now here is what is cool that I learned. He wanted to upstage Pete Townshend who was famous for destroying his guitar onstage. I think he did it!
Speaking of Pete Townshend
Anyone a Jerry Garcia fan? Here is his beloved “Wolf”
They also had a bunch of posters of artists. What is ironic about this one is that we actually know someone who was at this show. And she is photographed in the background screaming her head off.
The original Woodstock Poster
How cool is that!

Like I said, if you are a music buff you need to see this exhibit that runs until October.

Street Fair Food Fail!

Saturday was Monkey Head Maya’s beauty appointment with Not Yolanda in the UES. Yes my dog is so bougie that she still keeps her regular girl in the Upper East Side even though we live in Brooklyn. I guess she doesn’t want a bun or wear a pork pie hat. Anyway after I drop off Maya I then head down to have a cigar at my old stomping grounds at Cigar Inn.

A couple of hours I am heading back to Brooklyn with a clean and nicely cut dog. Now while I was leaving the Cigar Inn to get the dog I noticed that the First Avenue Street Fair was in full effect. Considering I was a tad hungover from the night before I thought that Geranium and I should come back and walk around. Considering I didn’t have anything planned for the day and I was craving a Pronto Pup and an Italian Sausage sandwich.

I am guessing the Pronto Pup and Sausage guy didn’t get the memo because for 12 square blocks there was none of that to be had. Corn Guy, Arrepa, Gyro and a bunch of other non-fair food tents but What The Fuck First Avenue Festival planners? You going healthy on us?

A Gyro on every corner
Crowd was light too
Cajun Nut Meat…I think I will pass
What the Cornbread Fuck
What did you do? BBQ a shoe?
This one is for you FitzJohn.
Needless to say we high tailed it out of there.

Would it kill a Street Festival to get a Pronto Pup Stand Up here?

Spring Break in the Big Apple

First of all I apologize for not posting for a couple of weeks. I have been up to my eyeballs with work, Geranium has been out of town, St. Patrick’s Day and its been tough to post. The past two weeks has been spring break for a bunch of schools. Rather than the beach some folks from Memphis and Northwest Arkansas made a trek to The Big Apple.

Now I was doing a bunch of work and with the St. Patrick’s Day weekend I wasn’t able to meet up with anybody. Then again does my former slinger of spirits and her high school daughter want to meet up with my boring ass or go see a Broadway show? Also in town celebrating spring break was my former roommate’s wife and college senior daughter with some friends. Lastly was one of my Twitter buddies since she was running the Brooklyn Half Marathon in ball shrinking temperatures.

I pride myself on being a fairly good tour guide to our various guests who have visited New York. I can show someone the grave of Hamilton and then in 20 minutes we are standing in the middle of Times Square watching all the tourists. Well these 3 different groups who came to NYC this past week you may want to ask them for their itineraries and or how the fuck they got tickets to some of the stuff they saw. I was impressed to say the least. Here is a short list of stuff that they did;

  • Rockefeller Center/St Patrick’s Cathedral
  • More Plays and Musicals that I care to think about.
  • Top of the Empire State Building
  • Good Morning America Taping
  • Ryan and Kelly Taping
  • Today Show
  • Brooklyn Bridge (I mean could one of you come over and took my dog out?)
  • Fearless Girl down in Fidi
  • Bunch of Pizza Joints

Here are some of the pics that they posted. Granted I didn’t get permission to post any individual person pictures but I was able to steal these pics that they posted. Still pretty cool that you can do all this stuff in a couple days.

Hey Look its My former Neighbor from the UES.
You know I have never seen this show on TV? I am more of Al Roker fan.
The Brooklyn Half Marathon being Run on St. Patrick’s Day
Another show that I hardly have ever seen.
I got to say this is pretty cool there Jen. Congrats and see you back up here in November.

Seriously you guys did a bunch of stuff this past weekend. I hope you guys had a blast.

Snow In New York

We had some snow a couple of weeks back that took me by surprise. Actually that isn’t true, it took everyone by surprise. What was supposed to be a light dusting actually turned into about 6 inches in the city and over a foot upstate and in Westchester & Rockland Counties. Mary Louise was out of town in Japan (recall this POST) so it was me and the dog. I learned something about the loss of Monkey Head Maddy when it snows. Maddy didn’t really care about snow and would plow through it with reckless abandon and Maya would follow her steps. It appears that Maya is a fancy girl and does’t like snow on her undercarriage. 

I can’t really blame her but my dumbass was wearing probably the worst shoes next to flip flops when all of the snow hit. Rubber soled driving shoes. Yep my commute back to Downtown Brooklyn was wet sock filled.  The snow wasn’t just bad on my subway commute. My boss took her over 7 hours to get home and one of my work co-horts took 4 hours getting home. Thankfully the snow was melted by Friday morning and Flights got back to normal by Saturday for Mary Louise’s arrival home. 

Taken about 3:00PM
Taken about 4:30PM and you can see the snow is on the roads now. 
My shoes are already moist (don’t you just love that word) and I have a substantial snow storm to trek home in. I might as well enjoy my Cigar from my current perch. 
Thanks a Lot Uber. Way to Stick it to the folks. This is normally a $30.00 cab ride home. 
Beware of the Slushy Water. I had to George Costanza Jump to clear this. 
Like a Beacon in the Harbor My Favorite Store Was Open. I didn’t really need anything but you can bet your sweet ass I bought something.
No idea that what she is in for
Where is that White Dog when I need her. This sucks! 
Make a Deal with you. I promise not to pee in the house if you promise not to bring my ass down here again. 

Trust me when I hear that they forecast snow my ass will be wearing correct shoes. 

The Week in Pictures – Marathon, Fi’s Birthday Party, & Dog Abuse

I have a couple of posts that I am working on so I will probably share them with you next week. Next week Mary Louise is ‘again’ leaving my ass. What does that mean for me and the dog? Couch time and farting in my BVD’s.

IMG_4573Whomever did this is my hero. This is perfect Ina and Jeffrey.

IMG_4556Hello A.S.P.C.A. I have a compliant to file

IMG_4593Good to know that we live on Mile 8 of the Marathon. We still miss living in the UES on Marathon day. Trust me when I say it is electric

IMG_4596Thunder Alley is so great. Come off of the Ed Koch Bridge where it is quiet and cold and experience Thousands lined up on 1st Ave and its loud! So much Fun!

IMG_4600Poor Lightbulb (his nickname was already in place before he was born) done burned out at the party.

IMG_4602Fi &  C-Man watching “The Wizard of Oz”

IMG_4603Not sure if this practice was taught by The Asian Fireman or the Asian Real Estate Rep.  Anyway that was a virgin Mimosa aka straight OJ.

Supposed to be cold as balls this weekend. Time to break out the Canadian Goose Coat.

The New York City Marathon 2018

What the? Carbunkle is posting on a Sunday? Hell, that fat fucker hasn’t posted in a week and now he is posting on Sunday? Ease up folks, we have been busy.

When we moved from 1st Ave btw 71st & 72nd to Brooklyn I realized that we were losing a prime Marathon watching spot. Thankfully I just found out we are a block from the Marathon route so I may swing by and yell for complete strangers in a couple of hours. I can’t hang all day because I have a prior engagement this afternoon. Don’t judge but I am attending a 7 year old’s birthday up in the Bronx so I will miss a lot of the Marathon shenanigans today. If you are wondering what I am talking about, please peruse this worthless dribble post.

Before I start to drone on. Best of luck to Mary Louise’s former work buddy J(squared) aka “Jolly Pocket” and my work buddy Kai who are running today. I am sure that there are others running but best of luck to the both of you. I ran a half marathon one time and I still am still limping because of it. 26 miles on these shitty New York Streets….You Da Real MVP!

Earlier this week my buddy @Brizzyc was inquiring on the book of face about a good vantage point to watch the marathon. I referred her to a bar on 1st Ave at 63rd Street. I may have visited it a couple of times when we lived in the UES…… I further went so far as to recommend a “slinger of the spirits” to seek out at said bar. Hopefully Mermaid A will be working this Sunday. Christ, that woman has been out of the office more than Trump, Marsha Blackburn, or Brian Kelsey!

Brizzy, one of these days we need to grab a beer. Then again it is probably best that you and G-Man haven’t met up with Me and Mary Louise. The establishment that we were visiting probably would have run out of beer.

IMG_4591This is our slinger of spirits and also good friend Mermaid A. Don’t you hate her? Cute, can balance on a long board, but she can’t text “come to the bar for shots” that well. BTW Mermaid A. – when are you working again?

IMG_4590Finish the Race Kai and beat yesterday! you go this!

IMG_4588Go get them Jolly!

And as always, thank you to the Runners, The Volunteers, and all those who will protect the runners, the volunteers and the spectators.

 

 

 

You Really Have To Love E67th Street Btw Mad & 5th During Halloween

We have finally gotten some cooler weather up here in New York. Just like in Memphis the first couple days of cooler weather make people break out heavy coats and or sweaters. I for one, am happy that we have gotten to this time of the year. I can wear a full suit and tie without sweating to death and the subway platforms aren’t “Gold Bond” hot. It really is the best time of the year. With the cooler temps we now welcome the Bodega’s selling Mums, Apples and Pumpkins. Rockefeller Center goes into ice skating mode and the airlines being Ass raping patrons for flying to Memphis at Christmas. Delta Airlines can go suck it by the way. Also with the fall we welcome Halloween.

Recall my post a couple years back about HALLOWEEN up here? Trust me when I say that New York goes all out and then some.  This week I had to visit a customer who buys my tourist trap double decker bus tickets in the ‘Bougie’ Upper East Side. *Notice how I have turned on the UES now that I live in Brooklyn?* I was walking to their location on E67th and I come across some brownstone Halloween Art. This isn’t any normal Halloween Decoration Art Folks. To my favorite Tattooed Former Bartender who now sells games; get your cute little Halloween loving arse up here for next year, this shit is on!

On 67th Street there is a Halloween show that rivals anything that I have ever seen. Between the stationary displays and the animated ones (if you we are Insta-Friends you know what I am talking about) this is so cool and probably costs a fortune. Anyway below are the pics from East 67th between Madison and 5th Avenue. *Theo’s Momma – send your friends to the blog and they can find it then* #CBTusingTheBlogforHits

IMG_4551I just long to own the marble steps that lead to this beautiful brownstone. Probably costs north of 10M

IMG_4540This Gargoyle should sit atop an entrance but for this exercise he is street level. Wing Span is over 8 feet long btw

IMG_4541These pictures don’t do it justice. This thing is full Disney Animated!

IMG_4542That “planter” is all man made. Seriously whomever made this went all out!

IMG_4549This is where an 8 foot Grim Reaper (Not the Costa Rican One) comes out of the hearse. See the faux hood? Someone paid a lot of money for this.

IMG_4550Mr. 3 First Names – Feel Free to Fire Away on this Uber Driver

IMG_4543Next Brownstone they are doing this. *Supposed to Nor’Easter Rain this weekend. I hope it doesn’t get destroyed* They did a great job on this brownstone

IMG_4544If I were a FedEx or “Other Guy” I would give a big ole Nope

IMG_4545I can see Ron (Old Next Door Neighbor when we owned 595) being the Scarecrow here. *Val-O-Rie can you please show them this post please*

IMG_4548This really is a great display. I hope it doesn’t get destroyed this weekend when we get ASS FUCKING rain!

IMG_4546Like I said, this brownstone may not have animation but they went all out!

Please trust me when I say that these pictures don’t give these exhibits justice.

More later on Halloween!

 

 

Don’t Rock The Boat – Losers Lounge takes to the Hudson

You have heard about our many visits to Joe’s Pub to see The Losers Lounge. During the summer the Losers traditionally take a break and don’t perform but kick back up in the fall months. The next show is next month but there was a special performance that Vivian and Stone had purchased tickets and suggested that we attend. The show was a Disco Themed and it was on the Circle Line boat.

Joe and the Losers didn’t disappoint at all! Playing all the hits and with the backdrop of Manhattan you get the picture. It was cool as crap!

IMG_4341Fun Times with the Gang!

IMG_4311Still never gets old looking at this view

IMG_4319But First Let’s take a Selfie!

IMG_4315Of Course they had Karaoke Set up!

IMG_4321Aunt Terry I can’t believe you didn’t even acknowledge us!

IMG_4332Brooklyn Bridge Shot

IMG_4331Connie and Katia

IMG_4326Great show and lots of fun!

IMG_4334Nice “Action Shot” of the Empire State Building from the West Side

Thanks to Vivian and Stone for suggesting we do this. It was lots of fun