Upper West Side

This Town Sucks!

I mean there is not shit to do here in the summer! I am kidding because if you didn’t find something to do this past weekend then you really weren’t fucking trying. Friday afternoon we decided to meet up with UWS Holly for drinks. Now back in the days of us living and working in the UES it was kind of easy finding a place. But with momma coming in hot from Dirty Jersey, me being down in the West Village and Holly being in the UWS we figured that the Top of the Metropolitan Museum was only fitting.

The weather on Friday was prefect. Not too hot, not too cold and we didn’t have any rain on Friday! It was a win-win! Now there is a big ass disclaimer on attending any rooftop in New York City. Bring an ass-load of cash! Seriously it costs a lot of money to catch your buzz overlooking the city. I won’t go into detail on what a round of two glasses of wine and a specialty drink cost you but it does create a moment of pause when you think that you want to get your swerve on the top of the Met. It was fun and if you are here in the city during the summer I suggest you put this on the list.

IMG_3431It has been a while since I was in the proper Museum and we never went to the Greek Wing to get to the rooftop. We need to head back.

IMG_3428Looking towards Midtown

IMG_3429Notice that the folks on the rooftop dress up just like the Peabody Rooftop bars.

IMG_3430Looking towards the UWS and the Dakota is in the distance. Or is it the Ghostbusters building. I need to work on visiting the UWS more often.

IMG_3432Damn Nova even has her own building up here. She has the cool president, free healthcare, a building with her name on it but she doesn’t have Bud Light. So take that!

More tomorrow as Saturday we cranked up the Damn Volume and Ripped off the Knob!

 

Advertisements

Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!

 

 

 

Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

Pics of The Week

Sorry I have been slacking as of late. This job thing is really getting in the way of my blogging. Oh wait, this sucker doesn’t pay for shit so you may see about 2 posts a week. Anyway here are some good pics from the past couple of weeks.

IMG_1672Always good to see Murph in the Big Apple. Murph and I both worked for a small University back in the day. That means that we didn’t make much money when we worked there but when we die we automatically get a  “get into heaven free” no questions asked pass. Well…..Murph will get in, I may have to do some ‘penance’

IMG_1607Couple pic of us from the Pipes and Drums Prom

IMG_1676Here I go taking up for Bodegas and one bends me over for a 6 pack

IMG_1661Went to Trader Joe’s for Vino

IMG_1588Pic on the left is Momma on her first day of School. On the right is our child on his first day of the 5th grade. Me and the dogs are pretty proud!

I have some extra pics and will try to post at lunchtime today! Have a good weekend!

 

 

 

Carbunkle Trumpet Takes his show to the West Side

Sorry for the dead airspace, I have been kinda busy as of late. First of all, best of luck to UWS Holly as she heads ‘south of the border’ on Friday. We had a couple of Umqombothi’s last night to celebrate her new address. Anyway, now that Summer is over (literally I was debating wearing a puffy vest to the bar for Holly’s going away party) and the weather is supposed to be low 70’s this weekend I guess we will put those beach chairs away that we bought away for the winter.

This past Labor Day Weekend we had a couple crappy days of weather but decided to head over to the West Side for 2 reasons. One to head to Zabars Grocery on the West Side so that I could purchase a replacement gasket for my Eye-Talian coffee pot and to look around. And secondly because Mrs. Trumpet has never visited Zabars so we decided to make it a family trip.

Once again Zabars did not disappoint as we walked up and down the aisles avoiding the throngs of people trying to get a ‘smidgen’ of smoked mussels from what I hear is “To Die For!” After deciding that we could not afford the FDNY fine for having an open flame in the UES for a proper grilling party we headed further north. So you have heard us talk about the Murphranks right? So Lady Barrister went to undergrad at Columbia on the UWS so we decided to give that a look. We understand that they have a pretty good football team and are in the hunt for the National Championship. Funny thing is that we never found a football stadium but the Quad was pretty effin sweet.

I hear that they can beat Bama…..

IMG_1569So I have lived here for 2 years so I needed a new pair of “hipster hooves” as Mrs. Trumpet calls them. She is just jealous that I am not as puffy. #prayforRobo

IMG_1551Look above the bottled Water on that cart – You see that people have ordered charcoal to be delivered in the UWS. Where are they doing this grilling? Can a brother get an invite? Hello…..Is this effing thing on?

IMG_1570Have you ever tried to walk through Zabar’s grilling section with a raging hard-on? That was me this past Saturday…

IMG_1573Ahem RJ – You may need to check on the Asian Fireman. He is either slipping, cleaning the guest house, or preparing for Lightbulb. I gave him a reminder on my Quality Check. #robocares

IMG_1571The Walk of Champions at Columbia University

IMG_1572No that is not the Jefferson Monument in DC – That is the library at Columbia

142988855028617067891128_f27ec907fc_b-720x480So we also ventured to Streetbird. I don’t know if you have heard of a guy by the name of Marcus Samuelsson and his visit to Memphis but he had a blast. We figured that we would give him equal props. Blog Post to follow later.

IMG_1575Here you go you Gluten Free/BBQ Grill hating Work Husband Bastard. Hope you had a great poop because of these. FYI – These taste like shit.

Have a good day and Best of Luck to my Bar wife as she expels a child today!

 

Pictures from the Week – Redneck Riviera Style!

I have one more thing to say about this pasts week trip but I am behind the 8 ball and heading to Philly for the annual Northeast BBQ extravaganza. We missed the Philly Boogie Down 2 years ago because “we were busy packing for our move to New York City!” *that still feels weird typing that*

Anyway have a good weekend, wish me luck. I am going to be drinking with my boy RJ. If we get him juiced like a Ferrari we may find someone to perform that vasectomy this weekend.

IMG_1266Friday night before we left for LA we went to the Cyclones game

IMG_1269The Park out on Coney Island is nice

IMG_1278You can’t beat the beaches on OBA

IMG_1282No I didn’t take this pic to be a perv (I made Mrs. Trumpet take it) these girls came out at sunset for the perfect light and spent 45 minutes taking selfies and snapchats. Naturally I photobombed one of them and they wanted my Instagram handle. I declined because I didn’t want to be a hashtag. #creepyolddrunkguy

IMG_1287These guys took 1:45 to set up everything. I timed them as I smoked my morning cigar.

IMG_1292Want to make a 9yo talk to you. Take their picture, post it on Instagram and then they will ask you how many likes they got. *do me a favor, find this pic in my Instagram feed and like it would you? L(squared) will get a kick out of it if we top 100

IMG_1297J-Bob – “How Many Cigars you going to smoke Uncle CBT?”
Me – “How many times you going to ask me stupid questions kid?”

IMG_1259Kitty came in town before we left out and we got to spend some time with her.

IMG_1303If you look above the “R” in Pershing you see the blonde in the red top? UWS Holly was trying to play Paparazzi on the sunset. I saw it and texted it to her. I told her that this is what happens when you venture on the east side of 5th Avenue.

Have a good weekend and we will see you on Monday.

Losers Lounge Tribute to Fleetwood Mac

The first weekend of June the Losers and the Joe McGinty 7 assembled one last time before the summer break. This show was to showcase the songs from Fleetwood Mac. This time we were joined by UWS Girl and Z Squared along with the other malcontents. No assless chaps like we saw at the George Michael show which probably scared EGP but there was a good duet.

IMG_0984I need some Bongo’s! Everything is better with Bongos!

IMG_0988I pretty much peed down my leg laughing from this duet.

IMG_0983Yes she is wearing a Kaftan and probably sporting a “bump it” too!

IMG_0994Joe McGinty closing out the set

IMG_0991Why is my bartender from Max’s behind the drums?

It was a great time and this October we will be jamming to…THE M’Effin Bee Gee’s!

 

Pictures of the Week – New York Edition

I have way too many good pictures on my iFoam not to share with the class.

IMG_1022Wait till I buy everyone on the NY East team their very own Seersucker suit. Yep even you MLP & work wife.

IMG_1026I understand this is one of the most Instagram’d exhibits next to the “fearless girl” in Lower Manhattan

IMG_0961We broke down and bought a car. We can put it in the closet of apartment when we aren’t using it.

IMG_0957Cubs win the world series last year and now the Yankees are atop the division. Albeit it is the American League but still they are rolling along.

IMG_1015Shout out to my Work Wife, LZ, MLP, UWS Girl, and any anyone else who drinks that crap blush wine. #CarbunkleCares

IMG_0976Got to love the views from the buildings near Central Park

IMG_1005Yeah try to explain this one to me please.

IMG_0996A street fair right outside our apartment door! How Cool is that!

IMG_0981Katie and Bean moved from next door to Brooklyn. Bean (springer spaniel) would come over to get a treat from us and to terrorize Maddy and Maya. They left this for us. They were good people and we will miss them. 

IMG_1032Werk is hard

IMG_1006Wee Fiona made the shopping list for Daddy. Sad thing about it is I bet 10 people on the river during BBQfest wouldn’t have caught it. 

Have a good weekend!

 

Weekends are for rest right?

I am glad that the weekend is over. I am about worn out and it is only Monday! Now I promised my boss that I would not have “Whisky Voice” this morning so keep those “Oh CBT is hungover” because that isn’t the case. After our snow day on Thursday I had a bunch of stuff to get completed on Friday and play catch up. I get done with my day and head over to the Cigar joint for a quick cigar before I have to get ready to go out that night.

Friday night we headed down to Joe’s Pub to catch Losers Lounge tribute to Philly Soul. Not sure what that is? Think Teddy Pendergrass, The Spinners, The Delfonics and songs like “Love Train”, “Disco Inferno” and who could forget “You got what I need.” The show was great as usual and we headed to Blue Ribbon for a 1AM dinner reservation. Blue Ribbon was a mainstay when we would come up to visit Maria in New York. The fried chicken and oysters did not disappoint.

Saturday we slept in a little considering we got home at 3AM. I get my normal errands done and Mrs. Trumpet had to get some studying done. UWS Girl had mentioned about attending the Central Park Ice Festival Silent Disco and considering it was cold but not too cold I was game. Mrs. Trumpet stayed behind so I headed crosstown to W72nd street. Met up with her at an Irish Dive Bar by the name of Malachy’s. Trust me when I say that this place did not disappoint. The bartender was in her late 60’s and resembled Flo from the old sitcom “Alice.”  Headed over to the park and I learned something very valuable about free events in New York. Everyone and their brother will show up if you don’t have to pay for it. Met up with some friends to watch the Silent Disco for a while and ended up heading back to the house.

Sunday we had a friend in town from the old ACMB days and frequent offender of Belize Trips. Met up with her and her husband and tried ABC Kitchen for brunch. Let me tell you, the 3 week reservation that I had to get was well worth it. Hung out with LAB and her husband and we laughed and caught up. Since it was sleeting earlier in the day Mrs. Trumpet and I decided to behave on Sunday and she took a nap while I went to have a cigar with the boys. Made some spaghetti gravy/sauce and watched the Grammy’s.

img_0280Opening The Losers Lounge with a BADB (Big Ass Disco Ball)

img_0282Kiss and Say Goodbye by Tony Zajkowski

teddyI have to say his Teddy Pendergrass is pretty good.

losers-loungeI should have pressed my parents to let me play the Tambourine in band.

img_0324I think they had a couple bottles of booze there.

img_0326At the Silent Disco. They have 2 DJ’s and people can either switch between the blue DJ or the red DJ. I guess the Blue DJ was jamming

img_0329Thanks again for the Vino and the California Oranges LAB and RB. I bet we will run into you in Belize in October! Love you guys.

Hope you had a good weekend too!

Not sure where to put this post – TWSS

A couple of weeks back I went out for after work drinks with friends. I was tagging along and we decided to hit up a place in Hells Kitchen. I really wasn’t paying attention on how we got there but we walk in and this place was off the hook. Seriously you remember those movies where they walk into a night club and it was a former church or grand hall. Seriously all this place needed was go-go dancers on stripper poles. The music was right up my alley; The Cult “She Sells Sanctuary” welcomed us as we walked into the joint. I am going to have to ask Zsquared to bring us back there.

img_0236From the back looking to the front of the joint.

img_0237The bar, the top of the columns must be 30 feet tall.

img_0238DJ Booth where he spun some steel wheels

Seriously one of these days I am going to find the Saturday Night Fever bar on this island.