Upper West Side

Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

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Pics of The Week

Sorry I have been slacking as of late. This job thing is really getting in the way of my blogging. Oh wait, this sucker doesn’t pay for shit so you may see about 2 posts a week. Anyway here are some good pics from the past couple of weeks.

IMG_1672Always good to see Murph in the Big Apple. Murph and I both worked for a small University back in the day. That means that we didn’t make much money when we worked there but when we die we automatically get a  “get into heaven free” no questions asked pass. Well…..Murph will get in, I may have to do some ‘penance’

IMG_1607Couple pic of us from the Pipes and Drums Prom

IMG_1676Here I go taking up for Bodegas and one bends me over for a 6 pack

IMG_1661Went to Trader Joe’s for Vino

IMG_1588Pic on the left is Momma on her first day of School. On the right is our child on his first day of the 5th grade. Me and the dogs are pretty proud!

I have some extra pics and will try to post at lunchtime today! Have a good weekend!

 

 

 

Carbunkle Trumpet Takes his show to the West Side

Sorry for the dead airspace, I have been kinda busy as of late. First of all, best of luck to UWS Holly as she heads ‘south of the border’ on Friday. We had a couple of Umqombothi’s last night to celebrate her new address. Anyway, now that Summer is over (literally I was debating wearing a puffy vest to the bar for Holly’s going away party) and the weather is supposed to be low 70’s this weekend I guess we will put those beach chairs away that we bought away for the winter.

This past Labor Day Weekend we had a couple crappy days of weather but decided to head over to the West Side for 2 reasons. One to head to Zabars Grocery on the West Side so that I could purchase a replacement gasket for my Eye-Talian coffee pot and to look around. And secondly because Mrs. Trumpet has never visited Zabars so we decided to make it a family trip.

Once again Zabars did not disappoint as we walked up and down the aisles avoiding the throngs of people trying to get a ‘smidgen’ of smoked mussels from what I hear is “To Die For!” After deciding that we could not afford the FDNY fine for having an open flame in the UES for a proper grilling party we headed further north. So you have heard us talk about the Murphranks right? So Lady Barrister went to undergrad at Columbia on the UWS so we decided to give that a look. We understand that they have a pretty good football team and are in the hunt for the National Championship. Funny thing is that we never found a football stadium but the Quad was pretty effin sweet.

I hear that they can beat Bama…..

IMG_1569So I have lived here for 2 years so I needed a new pair of “hipster hooves” as Mrs. Trumpet calls them. She is just jealous that I am not as puffy. #prayforRobo

IMG_1551Look above the bottled Water on that cart – You see that people have ordered charcoal to be delivered in the UWS. Where are they doing this grilling? Can a brother get an invite? Hello…..Is this effing thing on?

IMG_1570Have you ever tried to walk through Zabar’s grilling section with a raging hard-on? That was me this past Saturday…

IMG_1573Ahem RJ – You may need to check on the Asian Fireman. He is either slipping, cleaning the guest house, or preparing for Lightbulb. I gave him a reminder on my Quality Check. #robocares

IMG_1571The Walk of Champions at Columbia University

IMG_1572No that is not the Jefferson Monument in DC – That is the library at Columbia

142988855028617067891128_f27ec907fc_b-720x480So we also ventured to Streetbird. I don’t know if you have heard of a guy by the name of Marcus Samuelsson and his visit to Memphis but he had a blast. We figured that we would give him equal props. Blog Post to follow later.

IMG_1575Here you go you Gluten Free/BBQ Grill hating Work Husband Bastard. Hope you had a great poop because of these. FYI – These taste like shit.

Have a good day and Best of Luck to my Bar wife as she expels a child today!

 

Pictures from the Week – Redneck Riviera Style!

I have one more thing to say about this pasts week trip but I am behind the 8 ball and heading to Philly for the annual Northeast BBQ extravaganza. We missed the Philly Boogie Down 2 years ago because “we were busy packing for our move to New York City!” *that still feels weird typing that*

Anyway have a good weekend, wish me luck. I am going to be drinking with my boy RJ. If we get him juiced like a Ferrari we may find someone to perform that vasectomy this weekend.

IMG_1266Friday night before we left for LA we went to the Cyclones game

IMG_1269The Park out on Coney Island is nice

IMG_1278You can’t beat the beaches on OBA

IMG_1282No I didn’t take this pic to be a perv (I made Mrs. Trumpet take it) these girls came out at sunset for the perfect light and spent 45 minutes taking selfies and snapchats. Naturally I photobombed one of them and they wanted my Instagram handle. I declined because I didn’t want to be a hashtag. #creepyolddrunkguy

IMG_1287These guys took 1:45 to set up everything. I timed them as I smoked my morning cigar.

IMG_1292Want to make a 9yo talk to you. Take their picture, post it on Instagram and then they will ask you how many likes they got. *do me a favor, find this pic in my Instagram feed and like it would you? L(squared) will get a kick out of it if we top 100

IMG_1297J-Bob – “How Many Cigars you going to smoke Uncle CBT?”
Me – “How many times you going to ask me stupid questions kid?”

IMG_1259Kitty came in town before we left out and we got to spend some time with her.

IMG_1303If you look above the “R” in Pershing you see the blonde in the red top? UWS Holly was trying to play Paparazzi on the sunset. I saw it and texted it to her. I told her that this is what happens when you venture on the east side of 5th Avenue.

Have a good weekend and we will see you on Monday.

Losers Lounge Tribute to Fleetwood Mac

The first weekend of June the Losers and the Joe McGinty 7 assembled one last time before the summer break. This show was to showcase the songs from Fleetwood Mac. This time we were joined by UWS Girl and Z Squared along with the other malcontents. No assless chaps like we saw at the George Michael show which probably scared EGP but there was a good duet.

IMG_0984I need some Bongo’s! Everything is better with Bongos!

IMG_0988I pretty much peed down my leg laughing from this duet.

IMG_0983Yes she is wearing a Kaftan and probably sporting a “bump it” too!

IMG_0994Joe McGinty closing out the set

IMG_0991Why is my bartender from Max’s behind the drums?

It was a great time and this October we will be jamming to…THE M’Effin Bee Gee’s!

 

Pictures of the Week – New York Edition

I have way too many good pictures on my iFoam not to share with the class.

IMG_1022Wait till I buy everyone on the NY East team their very own Seersucker suit. Yep even you MLP & work wife.

IMG_1026I understand this is one of the most Instagram’d exhibits next to the “fearless girl” in Lower Manhattan

IMG_0961We broke down and bought a car. We can put it in the closet of apartment when we aren’t using it.

IMG_0957Cubs win the world series last year and now the Yankees are atop the division. Albeit it is the American League but still they are rolling along.

IMG_1015Shout out to my Work Wife, LZ, MLP, UWS Girl, and any anyone else who drinks that crap blush wine. #CarbunkleCares

IMG_0976Got to love the views from the buildings near Central Park

IMG_1005Yeah try to explain this one to me please.

IMG_0996A street fair right outside our apartment door! How Cool is that!

IMG_0981Katie and Bean moved from next door to Brooklyn. Bean (springer spaniel) would come over to get a treat from us and to terrorize Maddy and Maya. They left this for us. They were good people and we will miss them. 

IMG_1032Werk is hard

IMG_1006Wee Fiona made the shopping list for Daddy. Sad thing about it is I bet 10 people on the river during BBQfest wouldn’t have caught it. 

Have a good weekend!

 

Weekends are for rest right?

I am glad that the weekend is over. I am about worn out and it is only Monday! Now I promised my boss that I would not have “Whisky Voice” this morning so keep those “Oh CBT is hungover” because that isn’t the case. After our snow day on Thursday I had a bunch of stuff to get completed on Friday and play catch up. I get done with my day and head over to the Cigar joint for a quick cigar before I have to get ready to go out that night.

Friday night we headed down to Joe’s Pub to catch Losers Lounge tribute to Philly Soul. Not sure what that is? Think Teddy Pendergrass, The Spinners, The Delfonics and songs like “Love Train”, “Disco Inferno” and who could forget “You got what I need.” The show was great as usual and we headed to Blue Ribbon for a 1AM dinner reservation. Blue Ribbon was a mainstay when we would come up to visit Maria in New York. The fried chicken and oysters did not disappoint.

Saturday we slept in a little considering we got home at 3AM. I get my normal errands done and Mrs. Trumpet had to get some studying done. UWS Girl had mentioned about attending the Central Park Ice Festival Silent Disco and considering it was cold but not too cold I was game. Mrs. Trumpet stayed behind so I headed crosstown to W72nd street. Met up with her at an Irish Dive Bar by the name of Malachy’s. Trust me when I say that this place did not disappoint. The bartender was in her late 60’s and resembled Flo from the old sitcom “Alice.”  Headed over to the park and I learned something very valuable about free events in New York. Everyone and their brother will show up if you don’t have to pay for it. Met up with some friends to watch the Silent Disco for a while and ended up heading back to the house.

Sunday we had a friend in town from the old ACMB days and frequent offender of Belize Trips. Met up with her and her husband and tried ABC Kitchen for brunch. Let me tell you, the 3 week reservation that I had to get was well worth it. Hung out with LAB and her husband and we laughed and caught up. Since it was sleeting earlier in the day Mrs. Trumpet and I decided to behave on Sunday and she took a nap while I went to have a cigar with the boys. Made some spaghetti gravy/sauce and watched the Grammy’s.

img_0280Opening The Losers Lounge with a BADB (Big Ass Disco Ball)

img_0282Kiss and Say Goodbye by Tony Zajkowski

teddyI have to say his Teddy Pendergrass is pretty good.

losers-loungeI should have pressed my parents to let me play the Tambourine in band.

img_0324I think they had a couple bottles of booze there.

img_0326At the Silent Disco. They have 2 DJ’s and people can either switch between the blue DJ or the red DJ. I guess the Blue DJ was jamming

img_0329Thanks again for the Vino and the California Oranges LAB and RB. I bet we will run into you in Belize in October! Love you guys.

Hope you had a good weekend too!

Not sure where to put this post – TWSS

A couple of weeks back I went out for after work drinks with friends. I was tagging along and we decided to hit up a place in Hells Kitchen. I really wasn’t paying attention on how we got there but we walk in and this place was off the hook. Seriously you remember those movies where they walk into a night club and it was a former church or grand hall. Seriously all this place needed was go-go dancers on stripper poles. The music was right up my alley; The Cult “She Sells Sanctuary” welcomed us as we walked into the joint. I am going to have to ask Zsquared to bring us back there.

img_0236From the back looking to the front of the joint.

img_0237The bar, the top of the columns must be 30 feet tall.

img_0238DJ Booth where he spun some steel wheels

Seriously one of these days I am going to find the Saturday Night Fever bar on this island.

2016 The Year in Review

Let me start right now and say that 2016 was a great year for the Trumpets. Sure our presidential candidate didn’t win but we didn’t ‘take to the streets’ protesting or putting up post it notes in the Union Square Subway station. If you don’t like the outcome you have one option – Move the Fuck Out!  As far as celebrity deaths; yes we will miss David Bowie, Nancy Reagan, Frank Jr., Prince, Leon Russell, and even Father John Francis Mulcahy but that is the life cycle. We won’t miss Fidel or even Harambe the Gorilla! Ok, enough with my political and current event posts.

2016 was welcomed with Jimmy Buffet and good friends in Brooklyn and it turned out to be a great one. It was great professionally for the both of us and even Mrs. Trumpet is currently (as I type this) studying for her NYU class right now. 2016 found me a permanent home selling tour bus tickets in the Upper East Side with a great team. Hell, I am even now sending money via Vinmo so I guess I am getting hip. We made trips to Belize, Tulum, Isla Mujeres (RJ has heard it both ways), Boston, and even Chicago to see the World Series. I made 3 trips to Memphis and Mrs. Trumpet snuck into Memphis too. There were trips to the other boroughs, trips to Atlantic City to see The Damn Neighbor, Philly, Fayetteville, AR, and Grand Rapids.

One of my former “Daddy’s” (boss) welcomed into the world his first son, my cousin had a girl, the Sparks have a boy with some wild ass hair, my fellow Snookie lover Chelsea & Josh welcomed a child into the world and I am sure I am missing some others. Even my fellow beer soft drinking buddy RJ got something in the water in Mexico and is going to welcome into the world another girl in mid May. That puts more on the line up to help wipe our asses when we get old so kids consider yourself on the Carl Lipbalm Scholarship List since we don’t have kids.

We got to see some really cool shit ish this year too. Have you ever seen 30 inches of Snow? Yea us neither, it was AMAZING! We got to see a guy from Long Island play at Madison Square Garden by the name of William Martin Joel who is the consummate performer. We saw a little America’s Cup Boat Race and even though we didn’t understand it, I hear the US team kicked the shit out of the other teams. I heard that they even said “Bring on Bama” between champagne chugs. I got to finally meet one of my top 5 Chefs when I got the book signed for Ms. Cat Dresser Upper in Dumbo. And we even got some Pool Time in Wantaugh with some friends of ours.

We did some great eating this past year. No I am not going to rehash the trips to Peter Lugar, Blue Hill at Stone Barns, Delmonico, Per Se, or some of those other fancy joints. I am going to talk about some good ole Memphis BBQ that we had at The Boogie Down BBQ in the Bronx with some Memphis Pitmasters. It was a good time this year and we didn’t even have to get another script of Lipitor.

2016 brought us some great friendships that blossomed over this year. I am not going to go over the names because it may confuse you aka THE ASIAN FIREMAN isn’t really ASIAN folks but you know who you are.

Lastly, we survived living on this rock for one year. We Look Back and it has blown by. We look forward to what 2017 brings us. I certainly appreciate the readers and the comments that you have said either on this thing, Facebook or in person. This worthless dibble gives me a chance to categorize and verbalize what is going on in our life. For those of you who got the chance to come visit us we appreciate it and hope to see some more of you this year. 535 square feet isn’t that bad folks, I promise.

Ok, so here are some pictures that probably didn’t make the posts but are funny to say the least.

img_5528Made the trip into Memphis in September and ran into T-Rex’s daddy and LVD. Good Times on South Main.

img_1892Sober as New Orleans Judges. At least Tucker got the smart idea to wear glasses. My dumbass have them on my head.

IMG_1902.JPGPay no attention to Mrs. Trumpet’s cans. This was right before the Grand Rapids Po-Po came by and told us “Creepy Old People” to go inside. I think they were afraid we would break a hip.

img_2045Attention Single Irish Men of Manhattan. This one is making her virgin trip to Manhattan in early April. No she won’t be wearing the monogram tank top, I know that this ‘ish’ don’t fly here.

img_2393Took LZ to the floor of the Stock Exchange because she pretty much saved my ass during my RSP days. Told her about the unwritten rule that on your first visit if the market closes up then you will have good luck for the year. By the way – ask her who is kicking arse in ticket sales to tourists in the Garment District.

img_5539Flew up one of our dog sitters when we went to Belize because a flight was cheaper than boarding them in the UES.

img_1603Maya – “No I am good, I am going to stay here with all those drunk eye-talians around”

img_1757Did you know that people come to New York for their vacation just to sit on line for the ‘chance’ they get a ticket for Hamilton. #poorbastards

img_01212016 was the year of the Coffee Drink! Or as Rock-Mo calls it “that coffee drink with the green stuff on it.”

img_1820I have to admit that the Garden is a pretty fucking cool venue.

img_1659Brother Joel McGraw, FSC wasn’t lying when he made us pray to Our Lady of Victory

img_5537Carbunkle Trumpet, no matter how famous you are with your blog you will never be as famous as this dog. This dog is UGA, the mascot for The University of Georgia Bulldogs.

img_1500My first celeb sighting in the West Village and who is it? Effin Anne Burrell.

Happy New Year, if 2016 wasn’t the best for you then I hope that 2017 is you year. Me, I plan on killing it; professionally, personally and in dive bar conquests.

 

 

 

 

 

“Is that Hortense?” “No, I think she is always like that.”

I know, but why not dust off a old classic joke every once in a while.

Ok, I will cease with the bad jokes, I am after all up to 8 readers now. A couple of months back our friend Maria asked if we wanted to go see Sandra Bernhard at Joe’s Pub the week between Christmas and New Years. Since we would be back from Memphis we agreed and Maria booked us some tickets to the 7:30 show.

I have to come clean, I really wasn’t sure what to expect from her show. What all I knew about her was from a quick GTS (Google That Shit) in that she was pretty racy, confrontational, and she had a “Love me or Hate me” mentality. Oh that and she was in Bruce Willis box office hit “Hudson Hawk” and she was on Roseanne. Truth about the show, she was pretty fucking good. *I got called out by my sister this Christmas because I was using the F-Word very frequently. I told her to mind her fucking business* Seriously Sandra is 61 years old and she looks incredible. She does a little singing in her act but when she gets on a roll, let me tell you, it is a funny show.

After the show we headed to the UWS to Blue Ribbon’s “The Ribbon” restaurant and had a delightful meal and called it a night around 11ish.

img_0115Bad angle but for 61 years she is in great shape

img_0114“Let me tell you about my Wasp’y wife…..I refuse to use the term Partner. It make you should like you are in a law firm. Yes this is my partner Sara, we specialize in litigation and some monkey business on the side.”

hudson-hawkWho could forget this cult classic Movie? I did watch it and thought it was somewhat comical.

sandra%20bernhard%20-%20new%20370x238We took a ride on Sandy Monica Boulevard at Joe’s Pub.

As of now there isn’t any new shows for the Losers Lounge but we will keep you posted.