Weekend fun

Where the Hell you Been Carbunkle?

Happy 4th of July Folks! I publish this not a my normal time in the morning but I wanted to share with you some pictures from last weekend’s Inaugural Supper Club. The Menu was Bacon Wrapped Blue Cheese Stuffed Dates, Unbelievable Cheese Ring with Raspberry Chipotle, Honey Ginger Teriyaki Marinated Pork Tenderloin, Hog Wild’s World Famous Grilled Shrimp with Barbeque Remoulade, Tomato Tart and Grilled Cabbage. Shameless Plug to Ernie Mellor’s Hog Wild/A Moveable Feast Catering Company.

Many thanks to The Murphranks, Schroder and the Professor for attending the first dinner. Who would know that Cilantro Infused Vodka would be that good.

IMG_3592Bacon Wrapped Blue Cheese Stuffed Dates – ala Chef Ernie Mellor

IMG_3593Mary Louise came out swinging with the tablescape stuff!

IMG_3594The Unbelievable Cheese Ring – Another Chef Ernie Mellor Recipe

IMG_3596My Mis En Place for the evening

IMG_3597Cucumber Cilantro Infused Vodka – Ala Mr. 3 First Names

It was a fun time and sadly I didn’t take any good pics of the food to make Iuka’s own jealous!

Hopefully nobody has to visit the ER tonight after muttering “Hold my beer and watch this…..”

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Welcome To The Royal Palms Adult Shuffleboard

Have you ever looked at your Google Maps on your iFoam and something on the Map just jumps out at you? When we were still in Memphis and hadn’t moved up here I would scan Google Maps for hours. Hell that is how I knew there was a Cigar Inn 2 blocks away from our old residence. When we moved to Brooklyn I would do the same thing and there was this one location in Gowanus that caught my eye. Is there really a Shuffleboard bar walking distance from our apartment?

This past Friday I got home from work and Mary Louise informed me that I was responsible for finding something for us to do that evening. I really didn’t have the creative bug hitting me as I was dog ass tired and realized that I didn’t want to hit something that we had already visited. I recalled the Shuffleboard joint and informed her that we would be walking down to Gowanus Canals.

We arrive and let me tell you, from the doorman at the front door you know this place has their act together. We walk in and this place is HUGE. they have 10 full size shuffleboard courts. They have areas with fullsize Genga and Connect 4 games. 2 full bars and each night they have a food truck that shows up and pulls into the building. The décor is Florida Pink and the music. They played Leo Sayer for Christsake! This place is great. We had a couple beers and decided that this place is the place to go when it is cold as hell outside.

IMG_3509They have all kinds of old school decorations. Notice the pennants hanging on the wall. They are from all the small Florida High Schools

IMG_3510Lots of Old School Seating and yes those palm trees in the distance

IMG_3529Full Bar and lots of beers on tap

IMG_3528But of course they have a DJ spinning Old School Vinyl

IMG_3526Textured Wall covering for the bathrooms.

IMG_3521Oh look they got Flocked

IMG_3514Cue the Captain and Tennille music. Yes I bet the women will wear Kaftans.

IMG_3516I think a great team name would be “Bless Your Heart” – What say you Murphranks?

IMG_3518Food Truck backing up into the place with a roll up door is key.

IMG_3517They have props you can wear while Shuffle Boarding

IMG_3520Beer is served in Mason/Jelly Jars

IMG_3519Object is to put the Disk inside the numbed triangle. On the line equals zero points.

IMG_3512They actually have a stage for bands and such. Not sure where “the flock” goes but we shall see.

Like I said there is some cool shit out there!

Emma Stone, Billy Jean King, and Paul McCartney walk into a bar.

Actually they walk into Alan Cumming’s bar, Club Cummings. This is a true story according to the bar owner who we went to see on Saturday night with Maria and Bill. His show “Legal Alien” is a mash up of songs, funny stories but he only down side of the show was that it was at friggin midnight! Seriously don’t you entertainers realize that we us old folks have to be in bed by then? Anyway Alan Cumming is a riot and gave us his outtake on certain issues that the crowd all agreed upon.

IMG_3533Joe’s Pub sure is proud of its Vodka.

IMG_3534I guess I need to start selling more Tickets to the Double Decker Bus tours on Monday.

IMG_3538He puts on a great show

IMG_3543Lace Sleeveless Shirt – No it doesn’t make you look Gay.

Hope you had a good weekend. We sure did!

 

Seriously This Town Sucks – Saturday

So when I left you with Yesterday’s Post we finished up with drinks with UWS Holly. Saturday we had a double header since we were going to attend the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. Later that evening we were to assemble at Joe’s Pub to listen to Losers Lounge tribute to the late Tom Petty. Seriously, like I said yesterday; if you couldn’t find something to do this past weekend you weren’t looking.

My previous Mermaid Parade date LZ was busy with her 1-2 step class so Mary Louise Geranium and I headed on the Q to Coney Island. Unlike last year’s almost rained out parade we had another beautiful weekend day so and as T-Rex’s mother would say “The whore’s were out in full force!” because it was crowded! Like front row at the Beale Street Music Fest Crowded. We decided to take refuge in one of our normal Coney Island haunts and the crowd did tone down a tad. We ventured out a little but considering we had a full evening we decided that “Day Drinking” was a bad idea if we were to make the 9:30 show.

We swung by the new Mexican joint just opened up in Fort Greene and then took a little nap before the show. You know with a Losers Lounge show from those that I have reported in the past that the line up and the band were going to be great. This tribute we had some new performers as well usual the old ones and they didn’t disappoint.

Onto the pictures and sorry to you perv’s because I am not posting any pictures of girls wearing only sequins or jewels on their boobs. I now have a younger crowd following this worthless dribble. That and I don’t want my Grandmother or sister to bust up on my 14 year old nephew beating like it owes him money because he saw a half naked girl from Bay Ridge on this post. (yep I went there)

IMG_3440That is someone’s daughter right there folks. She is going to have an interesting sunburn on her boobs.

IMG_3441Did they realize that it is going to be hot as balls out there on Saturday

IMG_3442Since we didn’t have a crown nobody wanted to get a picture with us.

IMG_3341That is some good stuff here folks!

IMG_3448We miss you Tom!

IMG_3462Julian putting out some Traveling Wilbury’s

IMG_3454I don’t recall ever listening to Marcy Harriell but I am a fan

IMG_3449The Joe McGinty 7

IMG_3474Ending the night with the Losers!

IMG_3476Mary Louise and New York’s version of Michael Donahue aka – that’s a lot of hair!

Like I said, the weekend really sucked!

 

 

This Town Sucks!

I mean there is not shit to do here in the summer! I am kidding because if you didn’t find something to do this past weekend then you really weren’t fucking trying. Friday afternoon we decided to meet up with UWS Holly for drinks. Now back in the days of us living and working in the UES it was kind of easy finding a place. But with momma coming in hot from Dirty Jersey, me being down in the West Village and Holly being in the UWS we figured that the Top of the Metropolitan Museum was only fitting.

The weather on Friday was prefect. Not too hot, not too cold and we didn’t have any rain on Friday! It was a win-win! Now there is a big ass disclaimer on attending any rooftop in New York City. Bring an ass-load of cash! Seriously it costs a lot of money to catch your buzz overlooking the city. I won’t go into detail on what a round of two glasses of wine and a specialty drink cost you but it does create a moment of pause when you think that you want to get your swerve on the top of the Met. It was fun and if you are here in the city during the summer I suggest you put this on the list.

IMG_3431It has been a while since I was in the proper Museum and we never went to the Greek Wing to get to the rooftop. We need to head back.

IMG_3428Looking towards Midtown

IMG_3429Notice that the folks on the rooftop dress up just like the Peabody Rooftop bars.

IMG_3430Looking towards the UWS and the Dakota is in the distance. Or is it the Ghostbusters building. I need to work on visiting the UWS more often.

IMG_3432Damn Nova even has her own building up here. She has the cool president, free healthcare, a building with her name on it but she doesn’t have Bud Light. So take that!

More tomorrow as Saturday we cranked up the Damn Volume and Ripped off the Knob!

 

Memorial Day Weekend at the Beach

You know that going to an Airshow is always great don’t you. The Thrills, The Frills, The Loud Noises, The Blue Angels, hell its Americana. But you know what is better than being at an Airshow? Being at an Airshow at the Mudda Effin Beach! So for the 3 day weekend the Murphranks collected us Saturday morning as we headed to Jones Beach on the Island of Long. We set up and chatted while waiting for the airshow to begin. It was a beautiful day as it was just warm enough to get some sun but being so close to the water it kept a chill on you. Let me type that again for you gulf coast beach fans. Being so close to the water it kept a chill on you. What do I mean you ask? The water is probably a ball chilling 50 degrees!

Now according to my work wife (the international one) who frequents Jones Beach it won’t get warm till mid to late August. I recall when we were there last summer and trust me, that water isn’t that damn warm. Anyway a good time was had by all and we enjoyed our “coffee” while the Murphranks enjoyed their “Smart Water”. No disrespect to the Millington Airshow but sitting out watching the airshow over the water and beach kicks some serious ass! *Disclaimer – I am not going to bore you with a bunch of pics of the sky as once you see one plane fly by you have seen enough.

IMG_3274The Murphranks Set Up, they be fancy with their beach chairs. Of course we brought enough stuff to sleep on the beach for a month but who is counting.

IMG_3273Our Tommy Bahama Chairs that now have 2 trips to the beach under their belt.

IMG_3275By the number of planes this tells me it is the Canadian Snowbirds. You are welcome Nova!

IMG_3279More pics of the snowbirds

IMG_3278The Snowbirds and their famous Diamond Pattern

Like I said, the airshow on the beach is really fun.

Random Ass Pictures from Philly, Memphis and some current ones

In a months time we have;

  1. Gone to Philly for a 3 year olds birthday party.
  2. Gone to Memphis for a 1 year olds birthday party and baptism.
  3. Moved from the UES to Downtown Brooklyn.
  4. Mrs. Trumpet got a graduate degree from NYU.
  5. Mrs. Trumpet started a new job and career.
  6. Found a couple bars here in Brooklyn that serve Bud Light.

That’s a lot of shit if you ask me! Here are some pictures from those exploits in no particular order.

IMG_3032Downtown Philly

IMG_3038This is why Philly can’t have nice things. They cracked their bell

IMG_3034No this is not where we got our Cheese Steak Sandwiches

IMG_3045The Bar in Glenside, PA

IMG_3092Andy you mind if I get some beers? Go ahead, I am on my coffee Break!

IMG_3093Bar 595 – Never heard of it!

IMG_3097Now you Assholes do realize that we are all going to be getting on the same flight and they call you by groups right? Sit your asses down!

IMG_3098Packed Memphis Airport on a Monday

IMG_3134The Boat Dive Bar in Cobble Hill

IMG_3136Carbunkle is happy!

IMG_3181Momma and her wings! She did inform me that she really liked the Doctorial Robes and considered going for that. I don’t see the humor in that.

IMG_3186After Graduation, Lunch, and some shopping we decided to take a little nap.

Hope that everyone is recovering from BBQ Fest.

Do we live in Downtown Brooklyn or Boerum Hill? Another Seinfeld Episode Comes To Life

If I have said it once, I have said it a dozen times. Until you move to New York you don’t really appreciate the subtleness of Seinfeld episodes. I realize this post may go over the heads of some of my Memphis readers but here is a good analogy for you. How many times do you get defensive when the media says that there was a shooting in Downtown Memphis when it was actually in North or South Memphis?

Remember the Seinfeld “The Pothole” episode when Elaine was trying to order a specific Chinese dish but was outside of the delivery zone? Even though she was on the other side of the street they still wouldn’t deliver it. Welcome to our life folks. When we were moving in our new dog walker came up to us and was doing her best sell job. When she was walking off she said “You will love living in Boerum Hill it is so different than living anywhere else.” I didn’t really give it much thought but later I started thinking; “I thought we lived in Downtown Brooklyn.” I asked Maria about it and she said that the other side of the street is considered the Boerum Hill neighborhood.

When we lived in the Upper East Side we had a similar situation because how you looked at it we could have lived in the; Upper East Side, Lenox Hill Neighborhood, or even  Yorkville. Not that it is a big deal but I have had to explain a couple of times where we live to native New Yorkers as they can’t identify the area. Normally when I say that we aren’t too far from Juniors Cheesecake they know exactly where we live.

The past week we have done some walking around Downtown Brooklyn and it is all good. We have the Fulton Street Mall (think Main Street Mall in Downtown Memphis) where we can get us a late night Papaya Dog and also shop for a new wig. We have the DeKalb (You don’t pronounce it like the owner of The Vault) Food Court and Mall where we can visit Target, Century 21, Trader Joes and have all kinds of food choices. And let’s don’t forget Smith Street where it is a cross between Overton Square with a Cooper Young Neighborhood feel and Brownstones. Oh did I mention that we have Liquor Store in our building, a stones throw from a Fresh Market and are one subway stop from killer bagels.

More on this later.

where we liveSo the Red Shaded Area is Boerum Hill and the Crude X is our building. Oh and for those wondering Cobble Hill is where the Gnome Lover lives. Wait till he gets back from BBQ Fest and then we start doing some drinking.

IMG_3151Look for the Birdsnest atop the tall ass building and that is our building.

IMG_3157Kind of refreshing to know that there isn’t a CVS or Duane Reade on every corner here. Shop Local!

IMG_3128Not Photo shopped folks, I took this last weekend on my way to….wait for it….a bar!

IMG_3108LVD when should we anticipate your arrival? Oh by the way Lauren 2.0 is heading your way this weekend for WCBCC.

IMG_3159Cannonball!

IMG_3158Smith Street on my way to get a bagel

IMG_310937:03 – that is the time it takes me to get from the UES (more specifically The Cigar Inn) to our new joint. Sadly cigar smoking parlors is frowned upon in Brooklyn. They don’t have any joints like they do in Manhattan.

IMG_3130First Sunday Funday we went to this establishment thanks to Mr. 3 First Names

IMG_3129I have to stay close to my Budlight roots, I do enjoy a good craft beer but when you are going to drink a ton of something it helps having something familiar.

I have about 3 blog entries just about dive bars still in the que.

 

Move to Brooklyn they said….

It will be fun they said!

I am kidding, now that we are one full week and two weekends into the Hipster Vibe and it isn’t that bad. I realize that I am way behind as I have trips to Memphis, Philly and this silly move as well as other things to report on this worthless dribble of a blog. I plan to report on all those doings this like old people drive; all over the fucking place! Don’t be surprised if you see multiple entries on the same day and some back dated posts. It isn’t like my advertisers are going to be pulling those million dollar ad deals.

First of all and let me be perfectly clear, if you have anyone who tells you that you that moving isn’t all that bad or they actually enjoy it you need to unfriend their ass right then and there. You don’t need to be friends with someone who is clearly out of their fucking mind. Now that we are in the new space and have made numerous trips to the trash compactor and the Goodwill donations center we get it. Moving into a studio apartment in New York is best done like you are coming into the world – Naked and screaming!

  • Rule # 1 of moving into a studio – Less Furniture is best!
  • Rule # 2 of moving into a studio – Purge, Purge, Purge and Purge to the point of a possible divorce. Who knew that my wife had a fetish for colored pencils and pens. The other side of the coin do I really need 6 pair of black lace up dress shoes?
  • Rule # 3 of moving into a studio – Having an extra C-Note in your pocket works wonders when things can go sideways. Welcome to the New York shakedown baby! So we may have had 7 more boxes and a shoe cabinet that wasn’t originally quoted (mistake on my part) rather than making a big deal about it giving someone an extra Ben Franklin makes the issues go away.
  • Rule #4  of moving into a studio – Purge, Purge, Purge and Purge to the point that your spouse is asking for divorce lawyer representation from friends. *Hint – you think that either one of us wants to go through this shit again, its cheaper to stay together*
  • Rule #5 of moving into a studio – Having friends who can help provide moral support helps. NO I didn’t say help you move, you are a fucking adult and not in college anymore. Pay someone to move your stuff. On that note a HUGE SHOUT OUT to Maria, Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister. I also would like to thank the Brewmaster of Budweiser Light and Tito’s Vodka for their help in dulling the pain too.
  • Rule #6 of moving into a studio – In the heat of the moment try to take a moment of pause and think “Before we throw this out, can it really fit?” Right now we have all of our art still in the boxes and crates and it is creating a disturbance in our chi. We were able to move some stuff around this weekend and now are glad we didn’t do some serious purging.
  • Rule #7 of moving into a studio – It may hurt your pocketbook or liver but get out of the house on a daily basis. Currently we are supposed to have Internet and TV hooked up this Wednesday between 10 and 12 and working on a mobile hotspot sucks. We found that getting out of the apartment on a nightly basis helps from losing your mind. Downside to that is that we now know every bartender in a 5 block radius and boy are they going to be pissed when they find out that we don’t normally go out on a Monday – Thursday night.
  • Rule #8 of moving into a studio – Purge, Purge, Purge, Purge – did I mention that enough? Seriously we looked like we could have been on Hoarders.

38RSo here is our space. We learned that having an “open kitchen” can actually hurt you when needing space but we think we can make it work.

IMG_3120White dog (who is blind) is not happy at all! Red Dog has been very needy and is scared to death that we are going to leave her ass somewhere.

IMG_3155After a week of sleeping on the ground with the mattress on the floor we got a new bed. Thankfully we don’t need a stepladder to get into this one like the old bed in the UES.

IMG_3156Maya is happy now that she can go from floor to couch to bed without needing help.

IMG_3152Like I said, we did some “recon” on the local drinking establishments this past week.

Hope you had a laugh.

933 Days and I got it done!

What did I do that took almost 2 and half years to accomplish you ask? I am proud to report that I have the Entire Upper East Side of Manhattan (North of E60th Street to E96th Street,  West of 5th Avenue to the East River) speaking Southern!  It is a thing of beauty, I have everyone saying “hello” and “good morning” on the streets. Snapple and fizzy water has been replaced with freshly brewed Lipton Iced Tea. Bacon Lettuce and Tomato with Pimento Cheese has replaced the Gyro carts on the streets. And Finally the first Friday after Memorial Day everyone will be wearing Seersucker!

I am pretty proud of myself, I didn’t think I could do it. Hell, I even have my work family now issuing “Bless Your Heart” to people instead of saying “F You!”  So what is next for Carbunkle Trumpet you wonder? WE ARE TAKING OUR SHOW IN THE ROAD TO DOWNTOWN BROOKLYN! Yep! We are moving out of the UES and heading to the borough of Brooklyn! Home of Jay Z, Manbuns and Hipsters and I am putting all of you on notice! Ok, so the real reason could be that Momma has taken a new job so we have to move out of her employers housing but we are excited for the new adventure.

We looked at a number of different locations on this rock and other rocks and decided that we needed the following things;

  • One or two subway stops back into Manhattan and easily walkable
  • Multiple Subway Lines for when there are delays, cancelations or weekend repairs
  • Full Service Building so they can accept our Vodka & Wine fruit & vegetable deliveries
  • Office or business center shared space in common area
  • Outdoor space and maybe an outdoor grill for daddy to burn red meat
  • Had to be cool and have a neighborhood tavern (or two)

Downtown Brooklyn checked all the boxes so we started to find a new home in that area. We looked into one building but they would only allow one dog and since we have two that collectively weigh 11 pounds that was out. We found another joint that is just as good and pending the vetting process we are in. We are shooting for next week to move so don’t be surprised if this sucker is quiet next week.

data=2M2OiB_yxfn5DcdjDRgvI6wr69jNRy3suS-zfNpCNuuMB_IbWMxsjfy6d2reA7Kcv5tiy7Pqdj1XX4k_InfgQqIgpJBUQt63NdtgsnjRhj--JFktXUBjgvOMCIXHj8hTyuyOWe are smack dab in the middle of everything. Walking distance to the Barclays Center, right next to a University that we may know the head men’s basketball coach, it is a quick Subway ride to the Murphranks and there is an IHop on the Fulton Mall!

IMG_3004Roughly 13 subway lines I can jump on to get into the city!

imagesHere is the front of our Non-Hipster Building

Dattner-Architects_HubOasisAll186_web-1-840x580I mean this isn’t too bad for those 30 nice days of summer for us to enjoy!

IMG_3011Maya is saying “Wait, I like the UES! People tell me that I look cute and want to pet me! I don’t even like the Beastie Boys”

IMG_3012Maddy is looking forward to taking a wiz on the artificial grass in the dog run that they have. Yep she will peeing on Brady Bunch Astroturf!

IMG_3070This part sucks, basically because we don’t have much room to put shit

IMG_3069Office and Holiday Crap is in boxes!

IMG_3068You will notice that the Cigar Humidor and the Steve Bartman Bobble Head are still here. I will pack those last of course!

IMG_3067Blue Dogs are packed and ready to move to Brooklyn

IMG_3065Not to say that we don’t have a lot to offer but do any of your future residents make Logo Cornbread? Please accept us and can you make it quick, we are starting to get nervous!

We will keep you posted, till then I will be busy growing out my hair for the Man bun!