Weekend fun

What do you do for groceries?

You would be surprised how many times we get asked that question. I swear that some people think that just because we don’t have a car or Kroger in Midtown we are starving up here. Granted we do have a grocery store right across the street but I am not a fan of Anal Rape and don’t like paying 100 bucks for 4 items that should cost 20 bucks in the suburbs.

We do have Fresh Direct and Peapod food delivery services but they don’t carry everything so we are forced to go out to hunt and gather. The Morton Williams across the street is ok for things you need in a pinch but they cost more than Whole Foods or a bodega and I prefer Fairways Grocery. A couple of weeks back my former boss, Ernie Mellor, posted a Grilled Corn and Butter Bean summer salad that we used to enjoy. I was craving that so I decided on Sunday morning I would venture up to E86th Street to get provisions. Now the Fairways is about 18 blocks away and schlepping groceries isn’t the easiest in New York if you don’t have a buggy. I bought one a couple years ago and it is great for carrying stuff to and from.

I jump on the Q to E86th street and thankfully the store wasn’t mobbed as one would normally expect. I credit this to lots of people being out of town and that it was rather early in the morning. I get my groceries and lug my cart back to the apartment and get to work on grilling some corn and make the salad. Dinner was excellent by the way.

IMG_1172Here is the recipe for those of you New Yorkers who wish to have something different.

IMG_1179Here is my little Cart while we wait for the Sunday Subway schedule

IMG_1180Fairly Quiet on E86th Street this morning.

IMG_1181Front of the store on E86th Street

IMG_1182Prepared Fruits Section

IMG_1195I knew that the little clip I picked up at Home Depot would come in handy. I can hang my buggy on the shopping cart.

IMG_1196The Produce Section is killer here.

IMG_1197Anybody need 40 pounds of Garlic?

IMG_1198This joint has a serious Butcher and Fish Monger Station.

IMG_1199Not going to lie there are about 20 different species of fish that I am not familiar with when I come here

IMG_1200A Casino Clam?

IMG_1203Went with Crab Cakes in honor of some former Memphian’s that are now new Baltimorean residents

IMG_1202Oh Look, the Gluten Haters have their own section.  Yep, I am going to take some shit from UWS Holly for this one. I have always poked fun of Gluten Free people and or Vegetarians saying that they were the new Al Qaeda because people used it as the new diet. UWS Holly actually is gluten intolerant and can’t digest it. Personally that sucks because who doesn’t love Jiffy Cornbread? Oh yeah, I am getting a text message for this one.

IMG_1201They love some Goya Canned Vegetables up here. Would it kill you to carry the Glory Brand?

IMG_1210Joker is packed to the gills ready to head back to E71st Street.

IMG_1211Here comes the Q Train

IMG_1212Just one subway stop. There were lots of people heading to Midtown to the Pride Parade

IMG_1213Taking Stairs with this cart is a pain in the ass. Thankfully they have lots of escalators on the new Second Avenue Subway line.

IMG_1214Finished the Corn and Butter Bean Salad (used a different version of cherry tomatoes to give it a different color)

Note to self – You are a fool if you don’t use one of the grocery delivery services for having bottled water, mixers or other heavy ass items delivered to your door.

 

 

 

Happy Summer Solstice Folks – Swede 101

If you are reading this on your foam wondering what the hell I am talking about, today (Wednesday) is the Summer Solstice. This means that today is the longest day of sunlight for us folks in the Northern hemisphere. Or if you happen to know a guy who is from Sweden it means one of the most important boozy events of the year in Sweden. For today Midsummer is a day of decadent indulgence with its root in pagan rituals. 

Now stop right there, no I didn’t shed my clothes down to my birthday suit and danced naked around a Maypole, they have scruples in Park Slope Brooklyn. To give you a quick nickel tour here is what Google said about the festival in Ikea land.

Midsummer is an occasion of large gatherings − and to be honest, many Swedes take advantage of it to fulfil their social obligations so that they can enjoy the rest of their holiday in peace. In many cases, whole families gather to celebrate this traditional high-point of the summer.
Swedes like the world to be well-ordered, so Midsummer Eve is always a Friday between 19 and 25 June. People often begin the day by picking flowers and making wreaths to place on the maypole, which is a key component in the celebrations.
The maypole is raised in an open spot and traditional ring-dances ensue, to the delight of the children and some of the adults. Teenagers tend to stay out of it and wait for the evening’s more riotous entertainment.

Mrs. Trumpet and I were invited via proxy from LZ and following the Mermaid Parade we headed to the home of the Swede and SJ in Brooklyn. F the Swede welcomed us with open arms and a fruity drink as he explained to the group assembled that traditionally the Midsummer eve starts on a Friday. “If we actually did the party during the week everyone would not make it to work the next day because you normally drink until the sun comes up.” Here I am thinking to myself that I may need to visit Sweden after hearing this.

The Menu consisted of traditional Swedish fare; Meatballs, Pickled Herring, Boiled New Potatoes with fresh dill, soured cream and chives. Grilled Salmon and SJ’s native Pilipino dish of  Lumpia that was killer. The booze consisted of  Swedish Vodka and some drink with schnapps that was pretty good and gave me a great case of MPH the next day.

Ok enough about the menu and drink, what I found that was so great about this evening was the sense of pride that could be seen beaming from the host when he would describe a dish or lead the group in song. Sure, I didn’t recognize the song because it was in Swedish but you appreciate the deep appreciation of someone’s heritage. That is what makes living here so cool, you get to experience someone’s heritage and you don’t have to leave the state. We said our goodbyes and got back to our apartment where we promptly passed out but thank you to F the Swede and SJ for the hospitality.

IMG_1135Salmon and all the trimmings

IMG_1134Not much of a Herring fan but I was nice and tried a piece of it. (and spit it out in my napkin)

IMG_1133Meatballs and Potatoes

IMG_1132The table was packed with food and good times

IMG_1139Who knew that LZ could also make flower crowns? Not sure why the red onion was there but this was the flower crown workstation.

IMG_1138Mrs. Trumpet and LZ in their flower crowns. And no jackasses I wasn’t wearing one!

Again, thanks for the hospitality and next time we will do a Memphis BBQ in Park Slope!

 

 

Losers Lounge Tribute to Fleetwood Mac

The first weekend of June the Losers and the Joe McGinty 7 assembled one last time before the summer break. This show was to showcase the songs from Fleetwood Mac. This time we were joined by UWS Girl and Z Squared along with the other malcontents. No assless chaps like we saw at the George Michael show which probably scared EGP but there was a good duet.

IMG_0984I need some Bongo’s! Everything is better with Bongos!

IMG_0988I pretty much peed down my leg laughing from this duet.

IMG_0983Yes she is wearing a Kaftan and probably sporting a “bump it” too!

IMG_0994Joe McGinty closing out the set

IMG_0991Why is my bartender from Max’s behind the drums?

It was a great time and this October we will be jamming to…THE M’Effin Bee Gee’s!

 

A Warning to all Those Fathers of Daughters – The Coney Island Mermaid Parade

Happy Day after Fathers day to my 4 daddies readers out there. I hope that your day was spent enjoying cigars, a nice steak dinner and maybe even a little golf if you were lucky. I spent Sunday enjoying some MPH in the morning and finally got out and went down Home Depot for some recycling bags and I did manage to fit a cigar into my busy day.

So this past weekend the Coney Island Mermaid Parade was held on Stillwell Avenue on Coney Island. I recall last year that we missed it and I was pissed. It looked like all the makings of a great event with the premise you get to day drink and not feel guilty about it. This year Mrs. Trumpet’s school schedule wouldn’t allow her to attend so I asked my friend LZ if she would go with me since FZ was away for work. LZ was fired up and even made a crown for the event, I opted not to wear any heavy headgear since the weather was supposed to be rainy.

Now here is my warning to all you dad’s out there who have daughters. Should your daughter inform you that she is going to be in the Mermaid Parade you should require your sweet angelic baby that she is required to wear a minimum of a yard of cloth to cover herself above the waist. As LZ and I were riding the Q train out to Coney Island we shared a subway car with a couple Mermaids. One was in a bikini top and a pair of shorts that looked like her va-jay-jay was trying to eat them. Oh and she was wearing Spartacus shoes too. This child naturally was busy putting on her Purple wig and put her Spartacus shoes on which was quite comical I might add. Then there were the body paint people.

Now it was raining fairly hard on our subway ride out to Coney Island. LZ brought up a great point; here you are wearing body paint and it is raining. When the rain and that water based paint mix the paint will come off. You are not carrying much on your person because well, you are after all naked except for purple water color paint. “How you getting home? Did you think that far in advance?”  Thankfully for this daddy’s baby girl the rain stopped just before the parade. Granted we are not sure if she didn’t wake up on Sunday doing the walk of shame from Sheepshead Bay but hey a girl has to have priorities. So again for you daddies out there. Your little girl should wear clothes or at least have a body paint rain contingency plan.

IMG_1075Had to wait out the rain so we went to my favorite Bud Light Can Russian run bar.

IMG_1076Mardi Gras style floats in Brooklyn. Who would have known.

IMG_1074LZ sporting her crown and platform shoes.

IMG_1081The kid is pissed that his parents dressed him in that garb. But let’s be serious, we all know that his parents have a case of beer and or wine in the bottom of that buggy.

IMG_1087Who doesn’t love a dog in a Tu-Tu?

IMG_1090Hula Hoop Girl was getting it!

IMG_1092I must say the Brooklyn Drumlines are much different than those in Memphis.

IMG_1111We sought higher ground for the rest of the parade. Two people under 5’8″ have trouble seeing over people in a crowd.

IMG_1115Ahem Mr. 3 First Names and Asian Fireman – I think we are missing a golden opportunity here.

IMG_1123Look closely and you see a Tractor pulling the float. I don’t see a lot of Tractors here in New York.

IMG_1147D*ck in a treasure chest?

IMG_1149Seahorses

IMG_1148Lots of Nautical and Seafood Themes here.

IMG_1143Ariel from the Block!

IMG_1151Not sure what it is but at least they were properly clothed.

IMG_1130Looks like the Bo Weevils Have some competition.

And no I am not going to put any of “those” pictures on the blog. I may day drink and poke fun at a lot of things but I do have some scruples. Have a good week and again Happy Fathers Day to all you Daddies out there.

 

 

 

Pictures of the Week – New York Edition

I have way too many good pictures on my iFoam not to share with the class.

IMG_1022Wait till I buy everyone on the NY East team their very own Seersucker suit. Yep even you MLP & work wife.

IMG_1026I understand this is one of the most Instagram’d exhibits next to the “fearless girl” in Lower Manhattan

IMG_0961We broke down and bought a car. We can put it in the closet of apartment when we aren’t using it.

IMG_0957Cubs win the world series last year and now the Yankees are atop the division. Albeit it is the American League but still they are rolling along.

IMG_1015Shout out to my Work Wife, LZ, MLP, UWS Girl, and any anyone else who drinks that crap blush wine. #CarbunkleCares

IMG_0976Got to love the views from the buildings near Central Park

IMG_1005Yeah try to explain this one to me please.

IMG_0996A street fair right outside our apartment door! How Cool is that!

IMG_0981Katie and Bean moved from next door to Brooklyn. Bean (springer spaniel) would come over to get a treat from us and to terrorize Maddy and Maya. They left this for us. They were good people and we will miss them. 

IMG_1032Werk is hard

IMG_1006Wee Fiona made the shopping list for Daddy. Sad thing about it is I bet 10 people on the river during BBQfest wouldn’t have caught it. 

Have a good weekend!

 

Random Pictures on the iFoam – Memphis Edition

Some of these are pretty good. Then again some of these are pretty bad depending on how you look at them.

IMG_0908Someone (not me) was enjoying their “Soul Burger” on the walk from home into South Bluffs

IMG_0926Had to snap a picture of my first downtown condo. Why the hell We didn’t keep that sucker is a mystery to me.

IMG_0941Me and A-Cups on the porch Sunday. We don’t have porches here in New York, we have stoops.

IMG_0934I took some major shit from the NYC boys for my “Preakness” Attire. I had to wear a jacket to Weed’s party and it was kind of warm so I broke out the shorts too. That was my first beer too!

IMG_0909Hadn’t seen this knucklehead in years. She is all grown up! We will have to add her and her sister to the CARL LIPBALM MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP list.

IMG_0940Lisa Marie and her little sister Willimena Esmerelda (she was born on Willie Nelson’s birthday) also do you not see her giving me an a Elvis pose? 

Don’t worry, that is all for the pictures from Memphis so relax.

Beware of the Gnome Killer – Pictures from BBQ Fest

Sorry folks its an inside joke. Well except for The Computer Hacker, he didn’t see the humor in late night experiment to see if Gnomes can fly. Anyway here are some pics that ended up on my iFoam from the weekend.

IMG_0881Little Lisa Marie at BBQ Fest. You can defiantly tell that she is RJ’s kid. She went after that cheese dip like a fat kid does with Chocolate Cake!

IMG_0882Sent this to Mrs. Trumpet and Lady Barrister to show that Mr. 3 first names and I were still alive and above ground.

IMG_0875If you didn’t know any better you would think that these boys were on a cooking team.

IMG_0877Sneak into town and the pitmaster was away at a working gig. I will catch you next time E.

IMG_0942Anybody know the number of the guy who loves Eddie Money? We have a fairly large surplus of Coors Light.

It was good to see everyone.

Carbunkle Trumpet Eats Crow again

I am somewhat of a smart ass…I know that some of you can’t believe that one bit but it is true. Way back when IKEA announced they were coming to Memphis people lost their damned minds on Social Media. This announcement was before we even knew that we were going to move to New York and have our entire apartment outfitted with IKEA stuff. I made some snarky comment about the particle board furniture and how Memphians were losing their shit. My good friend TO the OJ Simpson Bronco driver took notice of my tweet.

When we moved to New York almost 2 years ago we naturally made our first trip to Red Hook’s IKEA and I was impressed. Yes we outfitted our entire apartment since we sold all of our shit before we made the 1600 mile drive. I think that I made a comment on Twitter and my friend TO was quick to remind me about the tweet and she called me out on it. I deserved it and it was funny too. Because of the location of the IKEA in Brooklyn it is somewhat hard to get there. You can take the ferry to and from but trust me when I say that schlepping your crap back in a blue bag sucks.

This past weekend Mrs. Trumpet was in the throws of schoolwork, studying and I needed to get the hell out of the house. I had a small list of stuff that I needed to get from IKEA. I figured that heading to Red Hook was a good way to get out of the house and get it done. Now the Ferry doesn’t start running from Pier 11 until 11:30 and I wanted to try to get some Cigar time with the boys so I took my chances and headed to Brooklyn on the F Train. The F Train made news last week when one of the subway trains went tits up and lost power, and air-conditioning. One of the Rhodes girls from many moons ago was stuck on that train and I could only imagine how bad that sucked. Thankfully the F Train made it to Smith Avenue and I grabbed a 5 dollar Uber drive to IKEA.

All in all it was only 45 minutes door to door and I was in and out of IKEA under an hour and was able to catch the 11:45 ferry to Wall Street. So there you go TO, feel free to bust me out again as I eat some crow. Be kind would you?

IMG_1040Waiting on the F Train. That joker has yet to be on time.

IMG_1041She would get major style points if those suckers were pink.

IMG_1043On the Ferry heading back to Manhattan

IMG_1044Governors Island

IMG_1045Doesn’t get old looking at Lower Manhattan from the water at all.

IMG_1046Looking at the buildings on Water Street and Old Slip

IMG_1047Got some more $2.99 frames to hang the Playbills and ‘cool NYC stuff’ that we have done.

IMG_1048So far we have been to 15 cool NYC things and or plays/musicals. Not bad considering we haven’t gone to Colbert or Fallon (yet)

IMG_1049More Spice Racks and spice holders. Unfortunately we have to move them since the drawers can’t come out fully now. #Robofail

IMG_1050New Up lighting for the bedroom. Why don’t New Yorkers like lighting?

Hope you had a good weekend and stayed cool. It was a hot one in the city on Sunday.

 

 

 

Weber, My Shit be Broke!

Sorry for the vulgarity this early in the morning, I had to quote former All American “Big” Freddie Childress.

Welp it was bound to happen. 47 year old feet supporting a svelte 175 pound frame that is averaging about 5 miles a day walking in Manhattan and something has to give. I started having some ‘heel’ pain about a month ago and was hoping that it was just plantar fasciitis and not something worse like a stress fracture. I limp around the UES for a couple days until the pain was so great that I had to find a podiatrists who specialized in sports medicine. That is the great thing about New York, there are more podiatrists in Manhattan than there are Irish bars and I now understand why.

When we moved from Memphis to Gotham our mileage went from 0 to about 4 miles a day and there was little to no ‘ease in’ period. If you aren’t wearing shoes that are designed for walking then you are asking for trouble. When BD & SD were in town B was telling me how he wore a pair of leather soled shoes to make sales calls on a trip up here. The next morning he awoke with shin splints. Anyway after almost 2 years of living up here my right foot finally gave out and the tire went flat.

I meet with Doc B and he is one of the podiatrists who is on staff for the NY Knicks. Apparently basketball players have this ailment all the time. Doc looks at me and tells me that rest (yeah like that can happen) is the best treatment but I will have to undergo Physical Therapy. Pretty much that is Ultrasound, deep tissue massage, exercises and a tape job. He fits me for some orthotics and sends me on my way. Now for you Memphians who are wondering what the big deal is having plantar fasciitis is for a guy who walks instead of driving to make sales calls. Try driving your car with 4 fucking flat tires. This shit hurts!

ds00508_im00939_r7_fasciitisthu_jpg

Here is what happens when you suffer with this ailment. AKA This shit hurts each and every step.

 

IMG_1018Waiting for my time in the chair!

IMG_1020Don’t worry this won’t hurt me one bit

IMG_1019The Bad Wheel, it would cost too much to cut it off according to the doc

IMG_1021It only cost me a small fortune for these things and they make my feet feel worse till they get broke it.

IMG_1023Tape Job while I am walking around the city. It helps but still this stuff hurts

Have a good weekend. I still have a bunch of posts that I need to work on over the weekend. I will do better.

Happy Anniversary of Circling the Sun 50 times Weed

Editor’s note – I am fairly disciplined about divulging people’s names on this worthless dribble of a blog. If they didn’t have a nickname already I normally gave them one that doesn’t really incriminate them. That being said, the person named “Weed” is a real nickname but I promise that her name has nothing to do with Colorado’s State Flower/Plant and it would take too long to explain how she got it. 

So 2 weeks ago I headed to Memphis for some work, some play and to celebrate Weed’s surprise 50th birthday. I have to give D credit, she orchestrated this thing like a mad scientist. When the guest list got above 30 even I was wondering if the surprise could be kept quiet but she pulled it off.

Friday night we all arranged to meet up the Flying Saucer and as the Mo-Ho’s trickled in it was waterworks on each and every arrival. Many 40’s were drunk that night on 3rd Avenue and I ‘think’ I rolled into bed around 3ish. Saturday we all headed up to Midtown for brunch, beers and the surprise. Bless OTB (Old Tired & Bitter) and Ziggy for hosting, it went off without a hitch. Afterwards things went ugly as we headed to Beale for the stalking of Barbara Blue and Gnome attacking.

Happy Birthday Weed, we have known you the longest and we love ya. Even if you were “a couple grades behind us.”

IMG_0884That poor boy spent a little too long down at the BBQ Fest. (not anyone we know)

IMG_0886The birthday girl and D aka the Mad Scientist of Planning (venue not disclosed)

IMG_0903This is when you could say that “it went off the rails”

IMG_0895Play that Funky Music White Girl aka Baby Fine Hair!

IMG_0905My Missouri Legal Counsel

IMG_0907We miss ya Raiford!

IMG_0911Snot did come out of my nose when I saw some of these pics. Oh and A-Cups, yes I am going to forever be haunted by the image of grandma’s hoo-hoo.

IMG_0914The Unofficial Queen of Beale Street – Ms. Barbara Blue

IMG_0916A view over Nate’s shoulder

IMG_0919Here is where it went off the rails on Saturday night!

IMG_0922If never hear Lucinda William’s “Drunken Angel” ever again I am probably good with that!

IMG_0928Sunset over Monroe Avenue as I was heading into Bardog.

 

Happy Birthday Weed! It was great to see everyone and play with the MoHo’s too!