Sorry but I am going to have to break from my traditional satirical scribblings and just ask out loud “I am the only Fucking person who thinks that there is something majorly wrong with these pictures?” Let me begin as I am now 5 days back at work from being in Belize and yesterday afternoon I finally had to take some advil as the vein in my neck was bulging. For those of you who do not live here in Memphis feel free to fast forward to the bottom or you can read along with the rest of the class but let me give you a little Memphis Politic 101.
Our mayor is an incumbent 5th term mayor who used to do a lot for the downtown area in terms of encouraging development then he realized that he looked good in a mirror and stopped playing mayor. Now he plays games with the media, makes threats, probably is crooked, had a child out of wedlock, has threatened city council members, gave jobs to friends who didn’t know their head from a Fing hole in the ground and now announced he is going to run for congress. While we were in Belize he announced that he was retiring from the position of Mayor (he did that before – btw) effective at the end of this week. I of course doubted and you know what he reneged and says he will retire at the end of the month. In my opinion he is a joke of a mayor and makes Memphis look like a joke of a city.
Then you have a city council woman who blasts her fellow members yesterday defending the mayor and (played so many times before) then plays the race card. Janice honey let me tell you a little secret – I don’t care if my elected officials are black, white, green, Mexican, shoots ping pong balls out of their ass or sucks dick in the bathroom stalls of adult movie theaters! I just want my elected official to act like a professional, represent their district and turn this cesspool of a city around. Oh and today for those of you who live outside of Memphis she was indited on not 1, not 2 but 3 DUI’s and driving on a suspended licence. I bet Councilwoman Fullilove’s constituents really are happy today!
Then as I am heading to lunch, I hear that Jerry “the King” Lawyer has announced he is running for the soon to be (sure and I have a bridge to sell you) mayoral seat. I will have to see his stance but a man who sits at a WWE wrestling ring and refers to women’s breasts as Puppies really should not be my mayor! Sorry Jerry you may have put Memphis on the map for wrestling but leave it there please!
Ok as I am fixing to go in and enjoy my 3 martini lunch I get a call from the office as our credit manager has placed one of my “A” accounts on credit hold for a past due invoice. I ask the CM how much the amount is and how past due they are as this is the first time I have ever heard of this customer having a problem paying. Well the CM informs me that the invoice is in the 90 day category and the amount is 4.68….. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN – FOUR DOLLARS AND SIXTY EIGHT CENTS PAST FUCKING DUE! I ask this person if we can let this slide as with this customer being on Credit hold we are going to piss them off like no one’s business. The Credit Manager almost tries to give me some grief and then I go frikkin Postal and the last thing I yelled into the cell phone at the top of my lungs was that I would cover it with the change that is in my car ashtray or give her my first born poodle. I mean to hold up an account for something that I bet is our fault with the way we coded a credit or a core charge and they do close to a mil a year with us….She is too dumb to wipe her own butt! (my hands are still shaking I might add)
And finally last night the news announced that a baby elephant was born at the Memphis zoo and that mother and child were doing fine and there would be a contest to name her. Well I found out that the baby elephant died this morning….
Can’t we get a freaking break????
Sorry for the rant but I actually feel a little bit better.
TTK! (not you Jerry it is to Elvis!)