Sunday Funday Afternoon Post

I had a couple more pictures on my iFoam yesterday so here is your bonus Sunday post. And for those of you who are paid subscribers this one is on the house. #CBTCares

Oh and featured picture was taken about a month ago. It is very strange to say that I miss riding the Subway. At least I could see some strange people who are acting like a fool.

Took the Dog Out And Saw The Pucci Car.
I mean this is kinda spooky.
Happy to report the Green Lady of Brooklyn is alive and doing well. She is now staying home.
I remember once when I was in Belize I was peeling an Onion and I cut away about 3 or 4 layers of the onion and Cindy and Renita jumped my ass for being wasteful.
We are now in Caribbean Island Precautions with Paper Products
Snapped this when I was in Memphis 2 weeks ago.
Re-Hung this yesterday. How are everyone else home chores doing?
Back when we weren’t Social Distancing.

Z(squared) and I were talking the other day and we said when we do get to come out and re-socialize that it could be like THUNDERDOME! I mean this will be some epic drinking gthat will make St. Patrick’s Day, Santa-Con, West Village Halloween, and Coney Island Mermaid festivals seem like the Catalina Wine Mixer!

Be Safe Out there!

“God has given You a huge block of Time. What are you going to do with it?”

There is a 2 pc band up here that we like listening to by the name of The Tall Pines. It is a husband/wife team of Connie Petruk and her husband Christmas Davis. They play on a lot of Losers Lounge Tributes and have a unique sound. They had a virtual concert (would you have said that term 15 days ago?) last night on their roof in the UWS. Connie said that term that I have decided to use as my title.

So what are you going to do? You going to drink your face off with Vodka, Gin and Rum? Gang, I lived that phase back in the day and you can only really do about 7 days until you have a body shutdown. Here in New York we are in a “Essential Lockdown”. Both of our work places are still blowing and going and we are trying to stay normal.

So what are you going to do during this ‘self quarantine” time? I mean eventually the booze, cooking, cleaning and Netflix binging is going to get boring. What next? As you can see I am ramping up this worthless dribble. But is it really making me a better person? I think it is time to ‘get uncomfortable’ gang. Step out of that safe place that we have been in for the past 5 days.

I look forward to these things. Please keep doing this. Seriously folks people need this!
Schermerhorn Street – Normally it is a ‘look both ways or you will get run TF over’ street. Now it is empty.
SERIOUSLY FOLKS – STAY THE FUCK HOME!
Hey US Retailers – DO THIS! I understand that baby Formula is in high demand. Stop hoarding!
Owner of Sid’s Gold Karaoke Bar and lead for all the Losers Lounge Shows is now doing a daily spot too! This keeps me happy guys.
What Fooking Day is it? I laugh at my old person pill organizer but it does help.
If you can – Keep those Reservations for future events.
“We spoke about how this is going to change things that we have never imagined but people still need people.”
First off ignore that Mug Shot pic on the left.
The Professor/Bobcat/Mr. 3 First Names/Lady Barrister/Geranium/CBT day drinking via virtual was a success.
Side Bar – if you want to have drinks in NYC shoot me a text and we can have drinks. This is now the new norm and people will need to hear voices and talk this out.
Berocca/Shelter in Place Vitamins are in house. We have an additional 15 days for the both of us. This isn’t so much for Corona Virus – it is for the nasty hangovers we are having each morning.

So what are you going to do with this ‘gift of time’?

Shelter this in Place!

So here is the deal. We owe it to our fellow man/woman to sit our asses in our houses for as long as it takes to ‘flatten the curve’ Fucking Period! Bars are still open? What in the actual Fuck? I spoke with my brother in law last night and he said there are over 5K cases of COVID-19 up here in New York (remember we don’t watch the news). Stay the Fuck Home Folks! I am serious, take care of yourself.

Laugh, stay off the news but stay home! I was speaking to Tay-Tay this evening via Facetime. She is a fellow Tour Bus ticket seller and we were comparing notes on selling tickets to NOBODY! Gang this is serious stuff and if you think it will ‘just go away’ then you are as dumb as folks in government. Anyway it was so good to see her face.

Speaking of face – Ladies and Gentlemen if you can’t recall the last time you took a shower or shaved then you need to put your nasty ass in the shower RIGHT NOW! I think is safe to say that Geranium, Lady Barrister or Bobcat haven’t put on a bra in 5 days. Ladies am I wrong?

Here are pics from Friday. Again, stay the F home!

Willie Nelson and his boys! I am so glad I was told about this concert.
And a little Neil Young too!
Paul Simon, Edie and Woody! Not sure who that kid is on the left.
Casual Friday!
“Who is that in the background?”
“That is my wife, she is also working from home.”
“But I don’t understand…”
This person was speaking to me from their 5K square foot home.
Bitch – I live in 500 square feet! My house is smaller than your garage!
Social Fucking Distance yourself! This is the line to the package room.
Love a good Happy hour with the boys!

Quit Texting people. Drop a dime and call them.

Thursday Night is Technically The Weekend Right?

First of all Shout out to one of my readers RDD. I love you. I mean other than you being friends with Mr. Mangina you are the perfect person. “What you come to my country and don’t ducking (do you thing I really said ducking) text me?” For those of you readers wondering, RDD is in a unique club where under her name on my phone when it rings it states “If she calls you Fucking Answer Regardless” anyway ❤️ ya kiddo!

So with my title much like in Memphis and in other cities normally Thursday night is considered the weekend. We drink a couple too many and then roll into Friday with a class 2 hangover. Right now I am sitting here on our small ass couch typing this while all the bars and restaurants are closed. That was our normalcy back in the day when Geranium was in town. Anyone tired of saying the phrase Normalcy?

Here are some pics from today; I went to the grocery store to get out and stretch my legs.

Back when SanPedroScoop wasn’t a blogger but a bar manager. I still can’t believe it has been 9 years.
Vodka – Check, Wine – Check, Coffee Pods – Check, Ketchup – Oh Fuck!
I find that I take her out a lot these days. PRO TIP – Take Breaks Folks, it’s ok to say I need to walk away and chill out for a minute.
Yes the streets are empty and it is defiantly not the norm. This sidewalk should be full of people and kids in prams.
It is nice to see some familiar things. Spoke with my normal cashier at Brooklyn Fare (normal go-to store) and they said they are working Holiday Hours. God Bless Them!
Reach out to your older folks and check on them!
Amazing when people aren’t acting like Assholes! See Even Mean Ass New Yorkers aren’t hoarders!
I may even buy some for good measure.
And yes we practice Social Distancing too!
The Local Goodwill is as expected closed until further notice.
That right there is the Real MVP!

Like I said, take breaks, stay off the news and help your fellow man/woman. No Matter what they believe/worship/vote for!

Working from Home Tips from Carbunkle Trumpet, Esq. Thursday Update

Co-Working day number 3 is down and in the books. Here are some pics from yesterday and in my photo library.

Seriously folks, make sure you set a timer for every hour you get up and go do something. Walk the dog, do some housework, go sing a song out your window. Keep your sanity and know that Carbunkle Loves you!

First of all when I was in Memphis for the Funeral when did Jimmy John’s take over Café Samovar or that Mexican Joint?
These guys along with any delivery company are the real MVP’s here folks!
So for my Birthday I am getting me a Bougie Parfume Candle from Geranium.
Oh and you are welcome former Work Wife (the Domestic One) & The Female Fat Kid Work Wife (she will be thrilled with this nickname)
Yep us Pisces, Aries and probably Taurus are fucked that we can’t have drinks at Chuck E Cheese but seriously this some Bullshit!
*Stolen from La-Dash-A
I am transitioning to WebEx’s and this whole virtual working from home. I am not ready to start sharing my camera just yet. You have been warned NY East!

Speaking of WebEx – We now put this up when one of us is on a Conference Call
So with the two of us in such a small close proximity and Geranium being used to working from home we are having to adjust. I may have thrown out a “Who do I have to Fuck to get X” while she was speaking to her boss. #whoops
Feel Free to curse and or Fart!
Tito’s Vodka will be just fine through this!
When I was in Memphis I had lunch with Didi at the Rendezvous and saw this old school picture of FedEx.

Like I said folks, stay positive, turn off the fooking news and virtual hug someone today!

We are going to get through this. We have to!

Captains Log – Day 2 of living in 500 Square Feet in Crime-Free Brooklyn

So I think that strange times require strange and different methods. I have always a been a fan of posting a barrage of pics from my phone on Friday’s. I call it “Just the Pictures” and it gets little to some press. Given that the entire US is (if not already) on quarantine people may need something on Social Media to smile about. I mean unless you really enjoy seeing crap from people cursing the Left or the Right. Chill folks!

So what I am trying to accomplish here is to put a smile on your face. I want my off day posts to be a place for you to come if you are down or need to get a 5 minute escape from this madness. I am putting a disclaimer out there now – These posts may be a lot of Apartment 38R so I am just warning you.

Truth – I fear that these next couple of weeks if not months are going to get really bad for some people. I know that I now find myself taking quick 5 minute breaks looking at Instagram or my favorite blogs waiting for conference calls or for reports to run. Sometimes I may go grab a diet coke, I may take the dog out to go pee. I may even smack Geranium on the ass while she is on a conference call. Guys and Gials – everyone needs a quick escape from this madness. We are writing a chapter that none of us have ever dreamed about. Shout out to TacoGirl who reached out to me with a great Social Distancing pic that I will use one of these days.

Now let’s be honest, do you really come her for my badly written grammar or run on fucking sentences? I saw Brother Joel McGraw, FCS tow (sp) weeks ago and I felt his scorn for my on regularly badly written blog. Without further adeau;

This is Command Central for Those Double Decker Bus Tours. Yep we are in uncharted times these days but by God we got to keep going.
See the close proximity I am to Geranium’s Bed Pan Cleaning Company? My Gawd! We may need to think about a partition. I showered, shaved and even put in hair gel too!
For those of you that know our “Invisible Kid” he is now stuck at home. Here he is doing his homework in the executive office. This dumb fucker hasn’t realized he has an Alexia in there to help him spell Skool or Kat.
Maya is not fooking happy with this!
Guys, I don’t watch the news up here but this is proof positive that complete strangers are looking out for each other. Oh and we live in a 55 floor building too!
Walked down to my favorite Fort Greene Bodega and they were full of stocked shelves. Anyone need Bodega Sushi?
We have plenty of Baked Goods up here too! No reason to hoard!
So speaking of hoarding we have decided to stop using Paper Towels in the house. We now have our wash bucket out and when a towel becomes MOIST (S/O to Kaylee, Lana and the Hot Asian) we chunk them in here and wash them periodically. Saves on Paper Towels.

So guys, start being nice to each other. Send a random texts and love all!

Social Distancing

Let me be perfectly clear, to whomever came up with that now overly used term you deserve a punch in the throat.

So I have had a bunch of people reach out to me asking how things are going here in New York. I don’t really watch the news on TV so I am not really sure what they are reporting. I went to Target on Saturday everyone was acting civil. There was food on the shelves, but the TP aisle was as expected, empty. I was picking up some Tide Pods and a ream of paper expecting to be stuck at home.

Later that afternoon we went to meet up with Lady Barrister and Mr 3 First Names at The Commissioner. I was happy to report that the bar was behaving correctly and people were keeping their distance from each other per the rules. Also anytime a table left the staff was spraying the table down with Lysol and cleaned the seats. It was great getting out and having some drinks and a much needed distraction.

Yesterday we were more or less staying in and working from home as the majority of my accounts heeded the warning. It was also announced that restaurants were to either close or allow take out only. This is going to really hurt some businesses. I get that we need to disrupt the spread and ‘flatten the curve’ but it is going to be interesting to say the least.

We are fine by the way, the dog is loving having mom and dad home but its everyone else that puts me on edge and makes me nervous. I am afraid that some business won’t make it. The profit margin of running a restaurant isn’t that great. I fear that we are going to lose some great institutions.

Restaurants are required to be 50% occupied and keep your distance but that has now changed.
Going to be strange with nobody out for St Patrick’s Day but it’s expected.
Had a couple of these the other day to ease the pain
Ate Mexican with Laterza on Saturday.
I have a feeling I am going to be watching some of these
My Fly office down on the 3rd floor before they closed it down.
We haven’t sent the “Can you spare a square” email yet.

Be Nice to Each Other and if you can support your fellow man/woman.

Pssst Hey Man….I will give you $40US for a roll of Roses Toilet Paper….

If you don’t know what I am talking about I apologize, it is a Belize thing. Now, if you have ever had the pleasure of wiping your behind with that particular brand of toilet paper you will know what I am talking about. Why is everyone hoarding Toilet Paper during a Pandemic? Says the man who is stockpiling Vodka and Maintenance Wine…..

I have had a bunch of people inquire about how things are going on here in New York with regards to COVID-19. Can I be honest, you know that feeling when Dave Brown, Tim Simpson or Jim Cantore has been hyping the fuck out of a storm and you can almost feel it come in? You aren’t sure if it’s going to be bad or a complete miss but you recall that feeling? Welcome to Thursday March 12th because that is where we are in now, aka,,,,we don’t have a clue.

Are we being cautious? Yes. Are we washing our hands a whole lot? Yes. Are we covering our mouth when we sneeze or cough? Yes. But what about all those other fuckers on the subway or on the street? Have you ever felt sick or been running a low grade fever yet went to work instead? Can you recall when Micheal Jordan played the playoff game with the Flu? That is what we are worried about. Well at least me, I know how I feel and should I go into work or not. It is the person to my left/right that is holding onto the subway pole that I wondering about.

From what I can report to you is that we are all being overly cautions. My Tour Bus Clients are a little on edge which is to be expected. Some are working from home right now and some are fearing of having to work from home and losing major in-store income. Again, we are just waiting to see what happens. Oh but can I add that we are all are still riding the Subway System. Which now apparently should be avoided at all costs. Go Figure.

Am I scared…….Bitch, I survived Memphis Ice Storm in 1994. I lived through Hurricane Elvis in 2003 and I am ready for whatever happens. Obviously, we live on the 38th floor which can be a struggle but we can always find solace somewhere close. I hear that the Russian has a new pad in the UES. Z(Squared) has booze in Manhattan, I can feel it! Peppers and Maria – I know where the spare key is at that now that Wantaugh Long Island house is vacant….

I peed at Harpos, I took a poop at Alex’s Tavern with John McCormack laughing at me. I peed at The Stage Stop, I went to Confetti, I even sat on the couch at the Purple Church.
This is what CBGB’s is for you non NYC Folks.
Yes people are staying home. This is the Union Street Platform at Rush Hour. Normally it is packed like a sardine can.
Are things kinda weird right now? Well I guess I have to now schlep my Diet Coke up to the Apartment when my Fresh Direct order will arrive.
You see that Blue Haze over Manhattan? That is Corona Bitches!
LET ME BE VERY CLEAR – I am not making fun of Mask wearing people or my row mate. I am pointing out that unless you put the mask on your face you are just being silly. Kind of like “Oh I can’t use a rubber because I can’t feel things…..”
This makes me smile when I see people call this virus “Fake News!” or “Its just the Democrats putting us down!” Guys when the World Health Organization speaks you need to fucking listen.
But I may have been drinking very close to this joint on Sunday.
Am I disappointed I won’t get to hear those Fooking Bagpipes on Tuesday….Yes. But lets be serious, is the world going to end if the parade doesn’t happen?

In Closing.

We will be fine, thankfully Geranium and I are both healthy and don’t have any respiratory issues. Again, let me be very clear, we are taking this virus very seriously much like the flu.

We lost brother Jay about 6 years ago and he was in his early 40’s so any virus isn’t a laughing matter. But if we do catch it, I assure you that we will be stuck at home in 500 square feet.

I just hope all of my fellow New Yorkers do the Same.

Be Safe Folks and let the Doctors and Health Organizations tell us what we need to do.

Pictures of the Week

So here are some remaining pics from Memphis and other pics on my foam.

While we were at W&D’s house waiting on our Uber to the party these two knuckleheads were coming home from a day on South Main. Bonus!
This Knuclehead! We thanked Lisa Marie for letting us hang with her mom and dad in Mexico!
The airport is kinda quiet on a Sunday Morning.
I saw this pic and I hope to God it isn’t Budha or anyone that I know from down in New Orleans.
Wow, this is going to be just one big parking lot soon. Bye Terminal B!
This ‘may’ be why we missed the first flight out at 6AM. Thankfully we got on the next one!
The Former house of the Canadian, Conley and I hear the new folks are cool too!

Like I said, we will be back and spend more time, we promise.

17 Hours In Memphis

You recall the Bourdain show called “The Layover?” This post is nothing like that.

So Ba (that would be my mother) celebrated 70 trips around the sun back in December. Ba decided that she would celebrate her party in 2020 as there was a bunch of stuff going on this past December. It was decided that they would do a joint party and have it in late February.

That was great in theory but we had already committed on attending family Christmas up in Northwest Arkansas the week of Valentines day. We explained to Ba that we could only make one event and we agreed to meeting at family Christmas. Ba sent us the invite to the party and it sat on our table for a couple of days. We decided that we would try to make a trip down for the party by rolling that Non-Rev dice and get in and out flying stand by.

Long story short, we got in town Saturday late afternoon, went to the party, went to bed, flew back to New York some 17 hours later after arrival. Now you may be wondering what was the big deal and why didn’t we stay later or longer. You see Geranium was in the middle of a in town/out town trip and we agreed that we would make this trip brief as possible. Also and one of the tricks to flying non-rev standby is that you have to take those early/late flights that nobody likes to fly unless they have to.

Anyway here are some pics and don’t get your noses our of joint Memphis folks. We will be back, we promise.

Flying out of EWR makes one have to take Mass Transit
Given that it is a quick trip we only had to pack the overnighter
So Far So Good, We got on the flight to Memphis. Thanks TQ!
When it is the same temp in NYC and Memphis one can break out the warm pants.
Do I see a box of Caviar on the Tarmac? Sorry Sam.
They were happy and mad at us that we didn’t tell them we were coming in town. She showed us, she ordered a couple cases of Geranium’s Maintenance wine.
The Birthday Girls
I didn’t take any pictures of the party. Anyway we missed the first return flight and were able to get on this sucker heading to LGA
Home with enough time to get Geranium ready for Miami on Monday
Happy Birthday Ba!

Like I said, it was a little painful but you only circle the sun 70 times and you have party to celebrate it.