I was on the phone this weekend with RJ. I had asked RJ to do me a favor. I wanted him to squarely kick me in the balls the next time that he sees me. After he does that and while I am lying on the ground in pain I also asked him to tell me “You deserve that for what you did on Saturday, December 3rd!” I am sure that my 6 readers are wondering what it was that I did this past Saturday. This past Saturday, I ventured into Midtown Manhattan on a Saturday during Christmas Season. Oh did I mention that my destination “not by choice” was Tiffany’s at the corner of 67th and 5th Avenue? Do you know what else is at that famous corner…..Trump M’effin Tower! And guess who was also in town on Saturday, yep you guessed it. The President Elect himself! The reason I was venturing into this area was that I was asked by LZ to confirm a potential Christmas gift for FZ and she wanted my advice. It wasn’t that bad and my upper lip didn’t start to twitch till we made it to the bottom floor of Tiffany & Co. It was fine and I hope that FZ doesn’t freak out too bad when he opens the box and sees the baby rattle. *shots fired from Hell’s Kitchen towards the UES* Anyway, back to the subject at hand.
While I was making my way into midtown RJ and I were catching up and discussing holiday travel plans. He and I were talking and I inquired how X was doing. He told me good and that this person asked him “So when are the Trumpets moving back to Memphis?” RJ, who has been up here a bunch of times and whom I speak to regularly on the phone told this person “I don’t that the Trumpets are going to move back anytime soon.” RJ understands us, he knows that we will ‘Never say Never’ but right now the Big Apple is where we call home and we don’t have plans on moving back to Memphis for at least another 8 years…. well at least Mrs. Trumpet. Mrs. Trumpet has a pretty good deal going on with her work emptying bedpans. This conversation with RJ reminded me of a phone call I had earlier in the week.
I had to call into HQ this week to help a client who was having trouble getting their double decker tour bus tickets. HQ, as luck would have it, is in Memphis so while we were waiting on the slow ass computer in Memphis, the agent and I were making chit chat.
Agent – “Your last name is Trumpet?”
Me – “Yes sir, had it all my life.”
A- “That is ironic, we have a bunch of Trumpet’s here in Memphis. They own a bar/restaurant, used to have a grocery store, I know they had a liquor store on Poplar, and I think one of them was a big football player for Memphis State.”
M – “Yeah, I know them all, I am originally from Memphis and now living in New York. You could say that the Trumpet’s have a corner on the food and beverage service industry.”
A – “If you don’t mind me asking, what the hell are you doing in New York? I bet you are counting down the days till you can move back right?”
M – “Nah, I am good man, think we may stay a while.”
Now let me dispel any rumors or preconceived notions that you may be harboring – I am not and in NO WAY bashing Memphis or the many friends that we have there. Do we miss our friends and family in Memphis and surrounding areas? Your damn right. But (and this may not come across like I want it to in my words) you are comparing an apple an orange when you are talking about Memphis and New York. We live in 535 square feet, my Yeti cooler is living in Woodlawn because it doesn’t have a spot here on 1st Avenue. It takes me an hour by train to take the dogs to the vet when it was a 5 minute ride in the Jeep. To have drinks with the Murphranks, Asian Fireman, Z-Squared, The Russian, Maria and or any of the St. John’s crew it takes planning and at least one of us to travel some distance if not meeting in the middle. Does it drive me crazy with all of these inconveniences? Not really, sure it took some getting used to but what does a person really need to live in the city that never sleeps?
Let’s put the shoe on the other foot shall we? I have spoken to some fellow double decker ticket sellers about living in Memphis. The first place they talk about is living in Colliervegas or past the Parkways. I try to bite my tongue and casually bring up living in South Main or possibly the Core. Don’t get me wrong, we had the 2200 square foot house in South Bluffs, we paid out the nose for some rotten wood and it pissed us off. Then we downsized into a condo in the core and then this whole NYC thing happened. Anyway who the hell wants to go to Home Depot on the weekend to get supplies for house chores? I was that ‘that guy’ way back when we had 595 but do you know how liberating it is now going to have an espresso and reading the NY Times watching all the dads push strollers? Sure having all that space is great but who the feck is going to mow that ish? And let’s don’t even talk about the liquor stores not being open on Sunday……Aw Hell NO!
So in closing, we plan on sticking it out here for a couple more winters. But with my job I certainly will never say never. I mean we still have our condo in the core. We still have tons of family and friends in Memphis. We don’t have a car anymore but who likes to drive anyway. The thing is, we like it here, sure we can’t find a decent Cajun restaurant but that is ok with us. I don’t miss fast food. Incidentally the Chick-Fil-A located on 6th and 37th is packed each and every day with tourists. If I am feeling homesick for the southern accent, I walk by the line and try to pick what state people are from. FOR GODSAKE! GO GET A BAGEL OR EGG AND CHEESE ON A ROLL! So lay off asking if we will be back, some of you jokers still haven’t even come up to see us! We do have a couch and blow up bed.
Still my favorite map of Memphis.
My Director would probably foam at the mouth if I came rolling into a sales meeting wearing this. He is a ultra conservative Dark Suit and White shirt kind of a guy.
I don’t get nailed for this as much as one would think. My momma when she was living in Arizona took some grief for saying “You Guys.” I think this one has run it’s course.
I still don’t understand what the big deal is. Scoop can you teach me what is so great about flavored club soda? If I am drinking a club soda, it better have Vodka in it!
Other than the traffic, this city does offer some really killer looks and views.