Ok, let’s get one thing straight. You ever, ever call me Jeffrey I am punching someone in the throat or kicking them in the baby maker. I will admit that when we started watching “The Barefoot Contessa” I was not a fan. That voice, the doting of “Jeffrey will love these” and all the gay dinner guests would put me on the ledge. It wasn’t till Mrs. CBT made a couple of her dishes that I turned the other cheek. I believe it was at a Live at the Garden concert that she made some artichoke salad that really was killer. The only problem with the Ina’s menus is that you need to go knock off a bank because she cooks some expensive shit! Lobster, Caviar, Frozen Artichokes (which I may add is not available in Memphis) and cheeses that I have never heard about. Even my boy Tony Bourdain poked fun at Ina’s husband on his speaking tour “Jeffrey really loves his meatloaf, if you know what I mean.” Anyway when we moved up here I knew that we would be exposed to some new foods and naturally cuisines that one would not normally get in Memphis kind of like when we watch the show.
Mrs. CBT and I keep our expenses down so that we can visit all those Dive Bars and pay for many vacations by eating 90% of our meals at home. This also keeps our weight down since we try to eat more lean meat and we watch our portions. Let me stop you before you say “Way to go CBT” because in the pantry right next to the quinoa is a package of double stuffed Oreos because CBT is a fat kid at heart. Ever since I got relieved of my cooking duties (so I use a half a pound of butter when cooking) the menus are designed by Mrs. CBT. She takes great pride in creating the menus and I get to unpack the Fresh Direct boxes. This past Monday I get the Fresh Direct order and I am looking it over where I see under produce ‘Wild Ramps’.
“Honey, what the hell are Ramps?” I inquired to Mrs. CBT.
“They are very popular up here and are in season, Ina loves to cook with them.” She informed me from the other room.
“Honey, we are just getting into the spring, what the feck plant grows in the dead of the winter except for a weed?’ then I take a look in the box and what do I see…..a bunch of weeds that we just paid $6.00 bucks for.
So Mrs. CBT sautéed them up in the skillet with some “Good Olive Oil” and brown butter (you see what I did there KLC Man) and served them with Crab Cakes and oven roasted Asparagus with Lemon Zest. Now I consider myself a true adventurer when it comes to the cuisine up here in New York City. I will try everything at least once and rarely have gotten boinked. Well I found something out my friends. I am not a fan of Wild Ramps.
Here is the menu for the week
Here is the Fresh Direct invoice, Wild Ramps??? I bet you guys have never seen that shit at Gangsta Kroger have you!
Here it is in all its glory. A wild ramp still with the loose soil on it.
Pic on the top right is what they looked like. Sadly I didn’t get a picture of the plate.
Again, you feckers call me Jeffrey and we are going to fight!