Bless Your Heart

Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!




“I would rather go to Afghanistan than to see Eddie Money with you.”

Relax to some new of my FB friends who we met down in the DR. *who am I kidding, nobody reads this shit* Carbunkle doesn’t kiss and tell. For you 9 readers who have wondered where the hell I have been,¬†we just returned from a quick trip to the Dominican Republic. We went down with some friends from PA and some of their invited guests. We had a blast and look forward to seeing them again at the Philly BBQ Bash this summer.

I had decided that I wasn’t going to snap a lot of pictures this trip for a couple reasons. First of all I needed a mental break. Secondly, other than S&K and Virgil I didn’t know anyone else in the group. I mean, they love that I sell tour bus tickets to tourists in the UES but someone may lose their shit like if they just found out that their child was on the roof of their home if I posted some proprietary stuff from that weekend. Here are a couple pics that I did snap.

IMG_0736Yes we are New Yorkers, Yes we are in the Dominican Republic, Yes those are Bud Red Top Beers, Stop yelling KLC Man. The Presidentes were hot that morning.

IMG_0741No I was not vacationing with the owners of the Kooky Canucks, this little fella starting drinking on Thursday morning and got more obnoxious every hour since then and hadn’t stopped. *picture taken on Sunday afternoon. #Blessyourheart #nahGoFeckYourselfdude

IMG_0740Laugh all you want at my drink but I saw these take down the ticket holder of some Eddie Money tickets late this week.

IMG_0739Overachiever Alert!

IMG_0738They didn’t have Shrimp Sticks or Sushi on Thursdays.

IMG_0743Remember the pic of the Canadian Maple Leaf towards the top? Here is his girlfriend who wanted to celebrate her 30th on the 30th in the DR. I don’t see her making it to her 40th. #blessyourheart

I will do better, I gave my work wife my Met Gala Passes since we didn’t get back till late on Monday. Hopefully she has some great pics.


Bless Your Heart Sir

It is no secret that we live in an apartment provided by Mrs. Trumpet’s employer that they rent to us at a ‘slightly’ reduced rental rate. Living here is great, sure we would love some more square footage but having a doorman really kicks ass. We can order our ass off on Amazon,, Hello Fresh, Marley Spoon, and have our booze delivered and signed for from Astor Wine and Spirits and don’t have to worry about being here when they are delivered. The only thing that we have to be here for is deliveries from the Grocery houses (Peapod and Fresh Direct) for the reason that they don’t want to mess with refrigerating everyone’s stuff. The guys are great downstairs and even the Monkey heads have their favorites as “Treat” Pete give Maddy and Maya dog treats after they get done with their walks.

The building has a nice weight room and gym, nursery/kids playroom, resident lounge that we can rent for parties and even an outside space in our courtyard. What  bites is that they frown on cigar smoking so I have to carry my ass over to Central Park or the Cigar Inn for a smoke. We don’t have in apartment washers and dryers but there is a common laundry room on the 5th floor. We chose to do our own laundry for a couple of simple reasons; 1. To carry all that crap downstairs and then pick it up next day is kind of a pain. 2. Do I really want someone touching my skid marked BVD’s? (I got to see if you are still reading) So we opt for the laundry room. This past Sunday morning I was downstairs folding clothes and in walks one of the residents. It goes like this;

The man was walking back and forth with his laundry basket looking for some open machines. The washers are on the bottom and the dryers are on the top and they have 4 industrial machines for heavy stuff. I can see that he is perplexed so I mention to him that the towels in the industrial dryer are about to come out if he needs to use a dryer.

Me – “Sir that machine right there *points to industrial dryer* is about to be done if you need to use it.”
Dude – “Thank you, is that a dryer?”
Me – “Um yes have you already washed your clothes?”
Dude – “I think so, I put it in *points to a dryer* but my clothes don’t really seem clean”
Me – “Sir, you put your clothes in a dryer, you are going to need to put them in a washer *points to washer* to get them clean.”
Dude – “Thank you sir, my wife is out of the country with my kids and I have run out of underwear.”
Me – “Bless your heart sir.” *promptly leaves the laundry room*

I guess that is why they call it medical practice you know?

Have a good day and I bet you a dollar that at least one of my 6 readers will ask their doctor if they know how to do laundry.