Bud Light

Maine is for Lovers – CBT takes his show on the road

One of Mrs. Trumpet’s work people took a trip up to Portland Maine this fall and was telling her about how neat the trip was. We have been sitting on our hands for a while since momma’s school schedule has been fairly tough and we were ready to get out of town for a weekend. I was in when I was told two things that peaked my interest; cheap beer & cold water lobster. We decided on the second weekend in November knowing that the weather was going to be a crapshoot.

Yeah it was cold on Friday and Saturday in Maine. But you know what, it was cold as balls in New York last weekend too! Hour long flight and we were at our hotel in downtown Portland. We made our way to the local bar and then headed to one of the places that was highly recommended for a proper Lobstah dinner. Now it has taken me 47 years and momma 29 years (see what I did there KLCMan) to come to a stark realization; we actually prefer Cold Water Lobster over Caribbean/Warm lobster. Here is another one that Mrs. Trumpet came to the realization on this trip. She prefers New England/salt water oysters over gulf oysters.

Now let me further set the records straight. Portland Maine fucking rocks! The people up there well…..they do speak funnier than New Yorkers but talk about some of the nicest folks! The price of beer and food is much cheaper than what we find here in New York but so is the cost of living. The little shops that we walked into had items that weren’t “New York Priced” and that can be contributed to the lower cost of rent and taxes. We found the shop owners to be pleasant and very helpful. Naturally the question of where we were from was asked as they picked up on our accents but that is ok. I never said that I had to take a Wicked Pissah!

IMG_2159Pro Tip – Always take a picture of your room number so when you come back “tired” you don’t look like a schmo when trying to recall your room.

IMG_2160Pay no attention to that Bud Light on the left of the pic. I had local beers, I promise

IMG_2167This was a nice touch during the Veterans Parade. Take a hat if you needed one!

IMG_2168Anyone need some funny socks? This was a whole store devoted to funny socks!

IMG_2169There is a ton of pride for the residents of Maine. I now get it!

IMG_2171Had some neat nik-naks in a lot of the stores

IMG_2174No Nova there wasn’t any fecking snow on the ground!

IMG_2178Man they love some oysters up there! Best ones that we had that weekend were Pemaquid, Flying Point and John’s River

IMG_2183To say that the seafood was fresh is an understatement.

IMG_2192I mean who doesn’t love cheap oysters!

IMG_2195Rather strange to see, they used half gallons instead of liter bottles.

IMG_21963 bucks a beer! RJ you see this!

IMG_2200Bruised and battered and we are heading home!

Yep KLCMan, we will be back in the summer and we may bring TQ with us too! We had a blast!

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Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

The Mother of all Eye-Talian Festivals – San Gennaro Festival

Go ahead and make your snide comment why don’t you. I get it all the time; You look Irish, sound like you are from Texas but you have vowel at the end of your last name so you are Eye-Talian? If you are a New York Italian and grew up here you probably have a San Gennaro Festival story of some sort. Even with the shrinking Little Italy this festival is everything that you dream about.

The festival is a celebration of Faith to the Patron Saint of Naples, Italy and is a festive atmosphere with tons of food, and religions processions. It also is a fundraiser for the Figli di San Gennaro the not for profit organization that gives  to neighborhood schools, parishes and other charities. TRANSATION – You eat and drink a little too much but it is ok because it helps the kids, capiche?

Mrs. Trumpet and I headed down there on Saturday afternoon after my trip to the grocery store and as expected, it was asshole to elbow. The main part of the festival is on Mulberry street so the local businesses and restaurants put out tents to allow patrons to purchase food or drink. With the tents and the people, it is mobbed (see what I did there KLC Man and RMT?)  so we ducked into a local bar on Spring street to have a rest and beer. Oh and yes, I tried a couple dishes and even Mrs. Trumpet got her a corn dog that unfortunately, wasn’t very good. A good time was had by all!

IMG_1721But before we start with the pictures, let’s take a selfie like the kids do.

IMG_1710For any Fundraiser you got to have rides for the kids. Thankfully we left the Little Bastid at home so we had beer money instead.

IMG_1711Little Man riding the Jumping Star was a hoot, he was having the best time and was commanding a good audience too!

IMG_1712The Bracciole they make up here isn’t like I was used to from the Giovanni’s days.

IMG_1713Trust me when I say it was way more crowded than this picture lets on.

IMG_1714Toasted Rav – I have had better but hey one has to eat something right?

IMG_1716I bet that you can get a decent line on the Notre Dame game in here.

IMG_1717You get a free pass if you drink at a Church event.

IMG_1719We were in search of a clean bathroom and cold beer

IMG_1718No it isn’t a Bud Light, you have to go Native down in Little Italy and have a Peroni

IMG_1723No Jackass we aren’t taking a pic of you, we are taking a pic of the meat in tube form on a stick.

IMG_1722S/O to my work Wife

IMG_1726Since we were good and gave to the church we decided to head over to Milano’s Bar on Houston Street for some Bud Light. That and “I know a guy” who used to own it too!

IMG_1728Classic New York drink – Beer and a shot

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday

 

 

Pictures from the Week

These pics are in no particular order. Have a good weekend.

IMG_1449Why Hello Jeffrey the Husband of Barefoot Contessa. Yep Grainbin Girl is now really going to hate me!

IMG_1400So when you don’t wash your hair for at least a year this is what happens to you.

IMG_1457I am so with this! They did it to me and I couldn’t walk for a year!

IMG_1414I bet that this would be great at the Board Meetings in South Bluffs

IMG_1408Picked up a 36’r for the trip home from the Bronx.

Have a good weekend folks. Be nice to each other!

A Warning to all Those Fathers of Daughters – The Coney Island Mermaid Parade

Happy Day after Fathers day to my 4 daddies readers out there. I hope that your day was spent enjoying cigars, a nice steak dinner and maybe even a little golf if you were lucky. I spent Sunday enjoying some MPH in the morning and finally got out and went down Home Depot for some recycling bags and I did manage to fit a cigar into my busy day.

So this past weekend the Coney Island Mermaid Parade was held on Stillwell Avenue on Coney Island. I recall last year that we missed it and I was pissed. It looked like all the makings of a great event with the premise you get to day drink and not feel guilty about it. This year Mrs. Trumpet’s school schedule wouldn’t allow her to attend so I asked my friend LZ if she would go with me since FZ was away for work. LZ was fired up and even made a crown for the event, I opted not to wear any heavy headgear since the weather was supposed to be rainy.

Now here is my warning to all you dad’s out there who have daughters. Should your daughter inform you that she is going to be in the Mermaid Parade you should require your sweet angelic baby that she is required to wear a minimum of a yard of cloth to cover herself above the waist. As LZ and I were riding the Q train out to Coney Island we shared a subway car with a couple Mermaids. One was in a bikini top and a pair of shorts that looked like her va-jay-jay was trying to eat them. Oh and she was wearing Spartacus shoes too. This child naturally was busy putting on her Purple wig and put her Spartacus shoes on which was quite comical I might add. Then there were the body paint people.

Now it was raining fairly hard on our subway ride out to Coney Island. LZ brought up a great point; here you are wearing body paint and it is raining. When the rain and that water based paint mix the paint will come off. You are not carrying much on your person because well, you are after all naked except for purple water color paint. “How you getting home? Did you think that far in advance?”  Thankfully for this daddy’s baby girl the rain stopped just before the parade. Granted we are not sure if she didn’t wake up on Sunday doing the walk of shame from Sheepshead Bay but hey a girl has to have priorities. So again for you daddies out there. Your little girl should wear clothes or at least have a body paint rain contingency plan.

IMG_1075Had to wait out the rain so we went to my favorite Bud Light Can Russian run bar.

IMG_1076Mardi Gras style floats in Brooklyn. Who would have known.

IMG_1074LZ sporting her crown and platform shoes.

IMG_1081The kid is pissed that his parents dressed him in that garb. But let’s be serious, we all know that his parents have a case of beer and or wine in the bottom of that buggy.

IMG_1087Who doesn’t love a dog in a Tu-Tu?

IMG_1090Hula Hoop Girl was getting it!

IMG_1092I must say the Brooklyn Drumlines are much different than those in Memphis.

IMG_1111We sought higher ground for the rest of the parade. Two people under 5’8″ have trouble seeing over people in a crowd.

IMG_1115Ahem Mr. 3 First Names and Asian Fireman – I think we are missing a golden opportunity here.

IMG_1123Look closely and you see a Tractor pulling the float. I don’t see a lot of Tractors here in New York.

IMG_1147D*ck in a treasure chest?

IMG_1149Seahorses

IMG_1148Lots of Nautical and Seafood Themes here.

IMG_1143Ariel from the Block!

IMG_1151Not sure what it is but at least they were properly clothed.

IMG_1130Looks like the Bo Weevils Have some competition.

And no I am not going to put any of “those” pictures on the blog. I may day drink and poke fun at a lot of things but I do have some scruples. Have a good week and again Happy Fathers Day to all you Daddies out there.

 

 

 

Sunday – Funday at Coney Island

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that this post is late. Do you know how hard it is to come up with Holy Week Lenten Jokes each day?  Last Sunday we decided to head on the Q to Coney Island since the boardwalk was officially open and because we had a fun time on our last Trip. We reached out to our favorite Russian who lives in the UES and we met her at the E72nd subway stop. The ride to the end of the line was exactly 1 hour. Stop laughing Maria and some of you New Yorkers, you are going to be jealous when you finish this entry.

We arrived at the boardwalk and promptly headed over to Nathans for some meat in tube form. Let me just say that I hope that Nathans was having some first week jitters because service was to say “a little slow”. Mrs. Trumpet had a corndog while I enjoyed 2 hot dogs with Mustard and Relish. Oh and the Bacon Cheese Fries are pretty damn good too. You read that Zsquared? They have M’effin Bacon Cheese Fries! After lunch The Russian mentioned that we should “walk of our wieners” so we checked out the rides and games on the boardwalk. No we didn’t ride the Wonder Wheel or the Cyclone this time but it is on the short list for next trip. We found a nice spot at Ruby’s on the boardwalk and enjoyed watching the patrons walking the boardwalk, got some sun and a buzz.

Later we found another establishment that is right up some of our Dive Beer fans called Red Doors Bar and Grill. $3 Bud Lights in a can and they were ice cold. Knock it off KLC, they had fancy beers there too. After a good afternoon of people watching we headed home with some Train Beers and ordered pizza for dinner. AKA – It was a good Sunday Funday!

IMG_0621I texted this picture over to A-Cups just to let her know that we were at Meat in Tube Form Nirvana!

IMG_0622Bacon Cheese Fries! I have a feeling that this will be a staple item when I visit Coney Island next trip.

IMG_0623They have a game called “Pigs in a blanket”

IMG_0624There it is folks, the Wonder Wheel!

IMG_0626Inside of the Red Doors Bar and Grill

IMG_0628Dmitry – Can we get another beer? I know that you are busy sitting there!

IMG_0630It was windy and cold as you know what waiting for our return train

@Brizzyc you in for the Mermaid Festival? I hear that it is a must see!

 

 

Pictures of the Week

Here are some random pictures I had on my iFoam.

IMG_0540For my birthday I asked my mom for a new Winter/Snow/NorEaster Coat. Sucks to be old when you ask for adult stuff.

IMG_0552Here ya go Scoop! The original location in Chelsea.

IMG_0546Pay no attention to the Turkey Neck. I was rocking the 3pc last week.

IMG_0547Getting ready for Passover

FullSizeRenderMemphians would $hit on themselves at the sticker shock of a PBR.

IMG_0535His mother must have been a pack Mule

IMG_0549First Bud Light I had in over 24 days. It was a good one!

Keep it light and have a good day!

A Dive Bar Find – Trailer Park Lounge & Grill

So my twitter friend @Brizzyc tweeted last weekend about being at an bar establishment that was at in Chelsea saying that New York really has it all.  I made note of it in Yelp as I am always looking for a great establishment on this island that we call home. On Sunday Mrs. Trumpet and I ventured down to The Chelsea Market but were greeted with a “Sorry Folks, Parks Closed” because they were closed for a private event. The weather was crappy on Sunday; cold and rainy and it reminded us of visting in England. Translation – we needed a drink and wanted to watch the basketball games. I found a bar on 8th Avenue on Yelp and we trudged uptown to Flight 151. The bar was somewhat busy but paying $7 for a Bud Light seemed a little steep. Add to that the bartender was not that engaged (aka probably tweeting how outlandish that United was for kicking off some non-rev 10yo girls for wearing leggings) and we started looking into finding another joint to watch the Kentucky game.

I recalled Brizzyc’s tweet and looked into how far the joint that she visited was from our current location. Turns out that Trailer Park L&G was 9 blocks away, so we took out a small loan and paid our tab. Walking up to the joint I noticed the Toilet/Ashtray out front and recalled that I had walked by it at one point. Walking into it was like walking into a time machine. You always know when you find a good bar when they are jamming B52’s Love Shack and the establishment is lit by neon and Christmas Tree Lights. Words really don’t give this joint justice so I will stop now and post the pictures.

I can see a trip to this joint when A Cup and Double Birds come up here this summer. Trust me, put this bar on your short list. The only downside to Trailer Park Lounge & Grill is that instead of ass-raping charging you $7 for a Bud Light they only charge $6.50 but you won’t mind paying this because of the décor. By the way @Brizzyc – let me know when you are heading back there. Anybody who appreciates this type of a joint has to be a good soul.

IMG_0553The Joint is on W23rd @ 8th Ave. It is hard to miss to say the least.

IMG_0554Got to love it when people think that they can charge their iFoam

IMG_0555The front room resembles a bowling Alley and is a riot!

IMG_0556No Trailer Park is complete w/o Snookie, Anna Nicole, and Tammy Faye Baker

IMG_0557Tons of Elvis stuff here too!

IMG_0558I still can’t believe that I lost my Velvet Elvis to a bad breakup. I miss that more than the bad relationship.

IMG_0559If you need to work on your BeeHive they have a dispenser in the waiting room of the Rest Rooms

IMG_0560Pocket Combs? That is new to me!

IMG_0561Love the Cigarette hanging out of the Mannequin’s mouth.

IMG_0562Tonya Harding, she put the Capital T in Trailer Park Trash

IMG_0563Yep that is an old time Airstream on the wall.

IMG_0564The Grill – They have Tater Tots and Cheese! If the former Neighbor makes it up here we will have to take her here for sure.

IMG_0566The Bar Proper

IMG_0567The view of the joint from the back of the house

IMG_0568I wonder if the bird drinks beer here too

IMG_0569The bar is an old Bowling Alley Lane

IMG_0570Seriously I need to find me a Velvet Elvis Tapestry. I would hang it over the bed!

I have a feeling that the next time we find our way in Chelsea this will be on the short list to visit again. Brizzyc – have you ever visited Rudy’s on 8th Ave? You need to put that on your short list.

 

Gettin Kinda Bizzy….Yesssir…Foam Ringing!!!

in·sti·tu·tion
ˌinstəˈt(y)o͞oSH(ə)n/
noun
noun: institution; plural noun: institutions
  1. 1.
    a society or organization founded for a religious, educational, social, or similar purpose.
    “a certificate from a professional institution”

So now that we have gotten our ‘learning’ done for the day let us talk why CBT posted that definition. If you have ever visited 1445 Jackson Avenue in the Crime- Free Cross Town/Evergreen district in Memphis you will understand what I am talking about. Located in that former Greek, Italian and Irish neighborhood is the oldest family owned Tavern in Memphis. Yes I am speaking of Alex’s Tavern owned by none other than my good friend Rocky Kasaftes. Rock-Mo’s father, Alex Kasaftes, opened the bar on November 13, 1953 as a place for the businessmen to socialize with a drink after work before dinner. Rocky’s mother, Eugenia, served as the bookkeeper when she wasn’t running the Weakly Dance Studio. Rocky took over the family business and has been running it ever since.

Rocky’s best friend was John McCormack who growing up would ‘sneak’ some of their music into the jukebox which naturally would anger Alex. Finally a deal was made and they would have 2 jukeboxes in The Tavern. One for Alex’s older music (Frank Sinatra, Temptations, ect) and the other would have Rockys and Bad Dog’s music (Cream, John Fogerty, you know the classics) both jukeboxes still remain at the Tavern.

Rocky had a long time employee by the name of Sonny Wilson. Sonny was something else. He is immortalized in the men’s room with his “World Famous Sonnyism’s” and if you have ever heard me say the phrase “Foam Ringing” well you can thank Sonny for that one.  Sonny was also famous for his bookkeeping skills in keeping the bar tabs. But that is probably why Rocky is almost bald headed and grey too. Another great longtime employee is Andy. Andy keeps the Sonnyism’s alive and well and keeps the joint going during the ‘lunch rush’.

The cuisine at the Tavern back when I was ‘drinking on a falsified ID’ was Wings, Chicken Tenders and Burgers with Chips. Rocky made some modifications to the kitchen and added Fries, Gumbo, Greek Wings and Ribs. It is the Ribs that Rocky is starting to get mad props for by various food critics. Me, I am a purist and stick to the Trifecta; Wings, Tenders and Burgers with some Bud Lights of course. I won’t go into the method that Rocky cooks his burgers or the secret spice that he puts in them but just say “Go get a damn burger and see for yourself!”

img_0093Yessir two good looking fellas there. Side Note – Rocky knew Mrs. Trumpet as a patron for years before we even dated and got married. The first time we both went into the Tavern Rocky told her “Watch out for this one *pointing at me*.” Her response was “Too late, I married him!”

img_0095Alex’s portrait still hangs over the Jukeboxes

img_0099The Classic Greek Burger and Chips

img_0094Andy lines up the Bud Light like Rockettes in the coldest beer fridge in the world. Seriously, half of them are frozen hence why the lid is open.

img_0098Rocky and Bad Dog in a pic that hangs behind the bar.

img_0092We were being Difficult that night, we asked for Ranch and Blue Cheese.

img_0096In that Skillet something beautiful happens. The Cake Topper is what melts the cheese

img_0100Of course we had to hang J-Bob’s baby picture behind the cash register. The Little Bastid wasn’t available for a picture. (J-Bob’s picture is to the left of the green Margaritaville Sticker dressed in that gender neutral smocked outfit)

img_0101My sister went to a football game so we got to babysit the Lady Killer one day. Naturally we took him to the Tavern to meet Sonny. It is very odd in that for some reason we never got asked to babysit again. I wonder why?

258sThe Sonnyisms

img_0102We love you Rocky, see you in late January!

Go see Rock-Mo and tell him that Carbunkle sent you!

Dive Bar Sunday – Milano’s Bar NYC

It has been a long summer and now that the Seersucker suit has been put away it is time to get back to our old shenanigans and enjoy the fruits of the city. You have heard me speak of having “A guy” and how vital it is. Back in Memphis, one didn’t need to have “a guy” you managed on your own or sought advice from friends and family. Up here, well you need “a guy” and depending on what you were doing you may need many of them.
Case in point my boy JM or Joey Pearl Jam, not only does he have a “a guy” but he just finished remodeling his house in…..wait for it….New Jersey.  Actually he had many “guys” doing work for him on that project. JM and I were talking a while back about good ole fashioned Dive Bars and that they are a part of Americana. Sadly, they are being replaced daily with either a Chipotle or a gastropub that has a mixologist instead of a bartender.  These are the type of joints that would serve a lemon wedge with tap water and charge you 2 bucks because it is a fancy ionized and desalinated bottled water that ran from gluten free ice caps in Alaska. Don’t me wrong, I have had many a fancy cocktail up here in the 14 months of living here but deep down I am a dive bar fan at heart.
This past Friday I took my boss up to Jimmy’s Corner on W44th and her first comment was “Where did you find this place? I kind of like it! I won’t order a glass of wine here but I dig it!” Oh and shout out to Double Birds and her Husband who were in town last weekend for the wedding of the year. It was great seeing you and having a couple drinks before you got all fancified. 

But I digress, so JM was telling me about a place that is in NoHo that I should try out. Ironically, the bar that he told me about used to be in his family and the name of the bar is the same as his last name. In his words “It is a classic Beer and a Shot type of bar.” I hadn’t even been there and I was in love with it.  Here is the 411 on Milano’s Bar according to an article written about it in Time Out Magazine.
Milano’s has been serving up drinks since 1880  (only stopping during the Prohibition years) and remains one of the last authentically old-school bars in the city. It can be a tight squeeze on crowded nights and the place is definitely no frills when it comes to atmosphere, but the bar’s décor—featuring swinging saloon bathroom doors, a tin ceiling, and a tile floor—is a wonderful break from gimmicks when you just want a drink. Its walls are adorned with old pictures and Yankees Memorabilia. It is the last bastion of Dive Bars in New York.

img_2455Notice all the wires on the left side of the picture? They had like 3 different multi plug adaptors all plugged into one outlet. I am sure it is fine.

img_2454It reminds me of Alex’s Tavern kind of you know? Except for all the Yankees stuff on the walls.

img_2453No need for overhead lights, plenty of Neon and Christmas Tree lights.

img_2452No food is served here but this old menu suggests they did at one time. Who doesn’t want a Veal Cutlet & 2 Vegetables for 30 cents.

img_2451You bet your sweet arse that we had Bud Lights. No fancy beer for us, we are simple folk.

img_2450I take it back, they do serve food here, those chips are fresh I am sure of it!

I will do better on my Dive Bar reporting. Momma gets back from a weekend trip on Sunday at noon so we will be heading on the 6 train to somewhere!

Have a good weekend.