What did I do that took almost 2 and half years to accomplish you ask? I am proud to report that I have the Entire Upper East Side of Manhattan (North of E60th Street to E96th Street, West of 5th Avenue to the East River) speaking Southern! It is a thing of beauty, I have everyone saying “hello” and “good morning” on the streets. Snapple and fizzy water has been replaced with freshly brewed Lipton Iced Tea. Bacon Lettuce and Tomato with Pimento Cheese has replaced the Gyro carts on the streets. And Finally the first Friday after Memorial Day everyone will be wearing Seersucker!
I am pretty proud of myself, I didn’t think I could do it. Hell, I even have my work family now issuing “Bless Your Heart” to people instead of saying “F You!” So what is next for Carbunkle Trumpet you wonder? WE ARE TAKING OUR SHOW IN THE ROAD TO DOWNTOWN BROOKLYN! Yep! We are moving out of the UES and heading to the borough of Brooklyn! Home of Jay Z, Manbuns and Hipsters and I am putting all of you on notice! Ok, so the real reason could be that Momma has taken a new job so we have to move out of her employers housing but we are excited for the new adventure.
We looked at a number of different locations on this rock and other rocks and decided that we needed the following things;
- One or two subway stops back into Manhattan and easily walkable
- Multiple Subway Lines for when there are delays, cancelations or weekend repairs
- Full Service Building so they can accept our
Vodka & Wine fruit & vegetable deliveries
- Office or business center shared space in common area
- Outdoor space and maybe an outdoor grill for daddy to burn red meat
- Had to be cool and have a neighborhood tavern (or two)
Downtown Brooklyn checked all the boxes so we started to find a new home in that area. We looked into one building but they would only allow one dog and since we have two that collectively weigh 11 pounds that was out. We found another joint that is just as good and pending the vetting process we are in. We are shooting for next week to move so don’t be surprised if this sucker is quiet next week.
We are smack dab in the middle of everything. Walking distance to the Barclays Center, right next to a University that we may know the head men’s basketball coach, it is a quick Subway ride to the Murphranks and there is an IHop on the Fulton Mall!
Roughly 13 subway lines I can jump on to get into the city!
Here is the front of our Non-Hipster Building
I mean this isn’t too bad for those 30 nice days of summer for us to enjoy!
Maya is saying “Wait, I like the UES! People tell me that I look cute and want to pet me! I don’t even like the Beastie Boys”
Maddy is looking forward to taking a wiz on the artificial grass in the dog run that they have. Yep she will peeing on Brady Bunch Astroturf!
This part sucks, basically because we don’t have much room to put shit
Office and Holiday Crap is in boxes!
You will notice that the Cigar Humidor and the Steve Bartman Bobble Head are still here. I will pack those last of course!
Blue Dogs are packed and ready to move to Brooklyn
Not to say that we don’t have a lot to offer but do any of your future residents make Logo Cornbread? Please accept us and can you make it quick, we are starting to get nervous!
We will keep you posted, till then I will be busy growing out my hair for the Man bun!