Elvi’s

“The Sure Thing” – No I am not talking about the 1985 John Cusack Movie

Incidentally did you know that this movie was one of the only few movies that John Cusack didn’t also work with his sister Joan? What you think that all I do is sprinkle the word “Fuck” and take half ass selfies? I have another side of me. I just can’t see it because I am too fucking fat.

Regarding the title of this worthless dribble I am referring to the the weather. I was on the phone with someone from the home office in Memphis yesterday. There were some issues with some Double Decker bus tickets that I sold last month and I was trying to get it handled. While we were waiting for her computer to finish the report we were talking about the weather. She said that it was raining in Memphis yesterday and I said of course it is raining. It is Memphis in May and it always rains during Memphis in May.

The person from the home office laughed and didn’t realize I used to live in Memphis. I told her that there are 3 times in Memphis when you could predict the weather;

  • The Hottest day of the year – Dead Elvis Week.
  • The Coldest day of the year – The Liberty Bowl Game
  • 100% Rain on a certain day – Any Memphis in May Event Day

Now I would like to add a 4th Sure Thing to that list;

  • Want to know when it will rain in New York – Just wait till Friday! It always rains in New York on Friday!

Enough words, here are some pictures from the past 2 weeks that have been in my iFoam.

So good to see Joyce a couple weeks back! I didn’t hear of any flooding at the Yale Club! We need to go back to Cozumel!
Meh.Com gave me a shout out and is now reading this worthless dribble
Speaking of BBQ Fest!
Go Netflix this movie. It is great! I saw it on one of my many flights.
Sunday was a nice day at La Playa
We may have drank some Gin Tonics here on Sunday
LVD – They sell Corn Dogs in Spain!
No that isn’t a urine sample. It is Lemoncello!
That damn Picasso sure didn’t paint much inside the frame did he?
The Shit you see in Barcelona!
Narrow Streets with little signage. It can drive one a tad crazy but that is why you drink wine
OTB we found your boat!
I don’t think that RAB reads this worthless dribble but who knew Picasso was a fan of Nuggets

Have a good week I am going to try to get over this sinus infection that I got from flying to the EU last weekend so I can do it all over again next weekend!

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Operation M(Squared)

My former work wife (the domestic one) moved up to middle management and has her a nice corner office in the Garment District. I would visit her from time to time and noticed that she had 3 picture frames but no pictures in it. I would suggest to her some options but she has other things going and never got around to it.

Last week she had to head to the head office for training. Who knew that selling tourists tickets to those double decker buses in Times Square needed so much managing and training. She was gone all week but last Friday I was going to be in the office for some training as well. Since she knows that #robocares I figured I would take it upon myself to put in some pictures in her picture frames for her. DISCLAIMER – I did text her husband prior to me doing this and he was on board.

I was 50-50 on using a Jeff Goldbloom picture or going with another gem of Christopher Walken. M(Squared) needs to up her street cred.
I think the pic of me and her husband will probably get a lot of people asking questions.

I think she liked my effort at re-decorating her office.

Carbunkle Trumpet’s Trip Report – Change on the Island

“Oh it has been 3 years since your last visit; a lot has changed on the island.”

“Wait till you see the change on the island.”

“Get ready to see a bunch of changes on the island.”

“The island has changed, it isn’t the same.”

“They have ruined that island, it isn’t the same!”

Boy, some of you guys really know how to make one wonder what the hell they are getting into when they are heading back down below the 18th latitude. I hate to disappoint those of you who have tuned in to read me eviscerate the island but not much has changed in my humble opinion;

  • Marlon Brando still makes the best ‘Stress Captain’ cocktail and is always a delight to sit and talk to and also to catch up on the town’s gossip.
  • Jet Holland is still less than 5 feet tall and is peddling his ‘Best Rum Punch’ and Hot Dog at Belize International.
  • Pedro still speaks his mind whether you want to hear his opinion or not. In his defense when he gave me grief for not staying with him I reminded him that I was loyal to Mrs. Celi much like I was loyal to him and his pizza joint on the back end of the island. He appreciated my candor!
  • The Shrimp Sticks at Blue Water Grill still is the Bee’s knees!
  • After drinking 20 Belikin Beer one will get fur on their tongue.
  • Celi’s Deli still makes the best Chicken Tostada’s and the Best Black Bean Soup!
  • Alberto still to this day calls me “Buddy” and Elvi’s serves the best and very lethal Dirty Banana frozen drink.
  • Complete strangers say “Good Morning” to you as you walk by them.
  • Tia Chocolate is still my favorite little brown woman and makes me feel tall!

For those of you saying “Ok, smartass, we get it!” let me qualify something. Change is inevitable; if you don’t change then you will either become obsolete or you go out of business.  I work for a company that raises an eyebrow if the comment “We have always done it that way” is said because there is always room for improvement. Just imagine what would have happened if a US Gringo who married an Island girl didn’t say 39 years ago “I am going to fly people from the mainland to the island.” Where would San Pedro or Belize be if Tropic Air wasn’t born back in 1979?  Yes I am talking about John Grief but come on guys, isn’t the road north to Las Terazzas much better than potholes and puddles?  Was the traffic so horrible on the island that it drove me crazy? You are talking to a fucking New Yorker!! At least they aren’t honking their horns like they do here in Gotham. Sadly we can’t keep an island from growing just like we can’t keep a puppy or newborn from growing up.

I will admit that there are some things that I wasn’t crazy about but am I going to create Facebook pages and stage boycotts? Hell no, I am only on the island tops 2 weeks a year and unless I have skin in this game it isn’t my place to bitch. Do I plan on changing hotel accommodations on the island because I saw a couple billboards advertising a different resort….Nope. Do I think that there are WAY too many taxi’s on the island? Um have you visited New York City lately? There are more Ubers, Yellow Taxis, Black Sedans and other private for hire cars here than you can swing a dead cat at. I guess what I am getting to is that change, whether you like it or not, is a good thing. We won’t know if that change is going to help or hurt things on the island but if it brings more money to my friends who live in Belize then I say why not!

IMG_0849Now that we have 3 airports to do our bidding, I think we shall see this airport a couple more times in a year.

IMG_0843Here is our Guber (Golf Cart Uber) in Caye Caulker

IMG_0832They still put the bishop hat on the Belikin’s

IMG_0811Marlon Brando August still serving them up!

IMG_0797I know a certain person is looking down on us saying “God both of these two are short!”

IMG_0748Belize Construction Site

IMG_0745One of these days we are going to bring that woman up to New York! Love us some Tia Chocolate!