Fresh Direct

Pictures of the Week – New York Edition

I have way too many good pictures on my iFoam not to share with the class.

IMG_1022Wait till I buy everyone on the NY East team their very own Seersucker suit. Yep even you MLP & work wife.

IMG_1026I understand this is one of the most Instagram’d exhibits next to the “fearless girl” in Lower Manhattan

IMG_0961We broke down and bought a car. We can put it in the closet of apartment when we aren’t using it.

IMG_0957Cubs win the world series last year and now the Yankees are atop the division. Albeit it is the American League but still they are rolling along.

IMG_1015Shout out to my Work Wife, LZ, MLP, UWS Girl, and any anyone else who drinks that crap blush wine. #CarbunkleCares

IMG_0976Got to love the views from the buildings near Central Park

IMG_1005Yeah try to explain this one to me please.

IMG_0996A street fair right outside our apartment door! How Cool is that!

IMG_0981Katie and Bean moved from next door to Brooklyn. Bean (springer spaniel) would come over to get a treat from us and to terrorize Maddy and Maya. They left this for us. They were good people and we will miss them. 

IMG_1032Werk is hard

IMG_1006Wee Fiona made the shopping list for Daddy. Sad thing about it is I bet 10 people on the river during BBQfest wouldn’t have caught it. 

Have a good weekend!

 

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Stuff we ‘used’ to think was odd -19 months living here

Yesterday marked 1 year and 7 months living here on this island called Manhattan. We celebrated it by having our favorite Russian from the UES over for Brunch and then Momma studied for her midterm this week. The time really has flown by and I would say that we are slowly becoming New Yorkers. No, my accent is still in tact and people still ask what part of Texas I am from. Mrs. Trumpet on the other hand threw out a “Are you Fucking Kidding me?” to me when I drank all of her Tea before I left for the Cigar Inn. As we look back on these 19 months I guess some things that we at first seem foreign are staring to seem normal. Now for those Memphians who have never visited up here you may have that ‘hamster wheel is spinning but nobody is home’ look as you read this list.

  1. Stoops – Forget about sitting on the front porch like you do in the south, here you are lucky if you have an outdoor space. Remember when I was jealous as crap of the Murphrank’s Roof Deck? Well sadly unless you plunk down 10+M for a UES brownstone that you still will have to renovate you have a stoop instead. Oh and forget about being protected from the rain like the porch at 595. Here you get your ass wet.
  2. Kids Playing outside – If it isn’t raining or sleeting in the winter you will always find kids playing in neighborhood playgrounds or even on city streets. I remember when I was younger and if it was below a certain temperature then Recess was held inside, not here. You will see kids playing their hearts out with rosy cheeks and frozen snot on their faces. Hey you got to tire those fuckers out because it won’t work in a less than 1K square foot apartment.
  3. Comfortable Shoes – Forget those leather soled Johnston & Murphy’s lace ups. Get you a pair of good rubber soled shoes and prepare to rotate them out. I walk roughly 10K to 15K steps a day for work. I have 3 pair of black shoes that I have in my rotation and a pair of brown for some suits that I wear. My international counterpart ‘wife’ normally is rocking a pair of flats or some pair of low heel shoes as we make our way about the city. Anything higher than 3 inches and you are crazy. *EGP – when you come for Easter, leave those 9 inch F-Me Pumps at college. Don’t worry you will turn heads w/o wearing those barbaric things.
  4. Shoe Repair Store – You got to have a great Shoe Shine/Repair “guy” in New York! I think that there may be 2 repair guys in Memphis and that was when Mr.Galtelli still had his shop on Union. Shoe shine guys in Memphis? Only one I knew about was in the lobby of the Peabody. In Gotham they are all over the place and you have to have a good one. Case in point this past Saturday. Momma’s boots were looking like crap and she needed them to get cleaned up and poste haste. I go see my buddy on 2nd Ave at Artistic Shoe Services and ‘David’ (he is Pakistani so it is easier for him to introduce himself as David) gets them shined, repaired and back to me in 2 hours. I see David each week on my way home from work on Friday’s to get my shoes cleaned up. You got to look good when you are walking the streets.
  5. Random Ish on the side of the Street – Pretty much you can furnish a house with the crap that you find on the streets of New York. Someone moves out of an apartment chances are you will find some of their furniture on the street. Let me tell you, people will fight over the good stuff. I saw a couch get dumped on W23rd street and before I could finish the Instagram post it was already nabbed.
  6. Coffee is King – Before I moved to New York I only drank coffee if it has booze it. You do some crazy hours here and need a pick me up. At first it was a diet coke or Red Bull but that really wasn’t good for me. Then I started having a double espresso after a meal. Now I am hooked on that ish! I love it Hard, Strong and Black – and that is just how I take my coffee! Maria gave me an espresso pot for my birthday and that sucker is in use all the time. Who would have thought that CBT is now a fan of the Java.
  7. How Deep Are We Going Here? – Go ahead and say it – That’s What She Said…… No I am not going there, I am referring to the depth of some of the Subway platforms. Our new Q line is pretty deep. I think at E72nd station it is 11 stories below the surface. Getting down there can be a challenge for those who don’t like heights. Mrs. Trumpet hates the escalator so we always are using the elevators which are nicer than some buildings. Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride and try not to think that there is rushing water coming down the tube instead of a train.
  8. Do you Deliver – If you think that I am going to schlep a case of wine sparkling water down the street you are crazy as hell. Yep, thank God for Fresh Direct Grocery service and Astor’s Wine and Spirits. It is a lifesaver!
  9. Wind-chill sucks – 20 degrees as a high in Manhattan? If there is no wind then it is cold but manageable. But you add the wind and then it pretty much sucks balls. Recall when I survived that Noreaster? I sure as hell do. Put it this way, when the wind starts blowing down those streets thanks to the tall ass buildings…you get the picture.
  10. Not having a car really doesn’t bug us – Nope, we don’t miss driving and messing with a car at all. Crazy huh?

stoopsSure Sarah Jessica Parker hung out on her stoop but she also drank for free b/c she put out.

img_0450Yep here in the UES we block streets so the kids can play outside. First base is the Volvo and 3rd base is the Bentley.

img_0460When they are balder than Telly Savalas then it is time to throw them out!

shoe-shineHey Guys, anybody see that naked girl run down the street? Guess not! And you don’t fool us, we know you are looking at Carbunkle’s Corny Joke of the Day on Facebook.

img_0457It did have a ‘slight’ odor from 5 feet away.

cooffeeI may have a problem with my Java intake.

img_0451Pay no attention to the Jason D. Williams portrait above the escalator down to hell!

fresh-direct-billDo you really think I am going to schlep 2 cases of drinks down the street? Yeah me too!

img_0458When you get this text message you know that it is going to be a bitch outside.

Hope that you had a good weekend and enjoyed reading. We return you to your regularly scheduled show.

 

Just Call us Ina and Jeffrey

Ok, let’s get one thing straight. You ever, ever call me Jeffrey I am punching someone in the throat or kicking them in the baby maker. I will admit that when we started watching “The Barefoot Contessa” I was not a fan. That voice, the doting of “Jeffrey will love these” and all the gay dinner guests would put me on the ledge. It wasn’t till Mrs. CBT made a couple of her dishes that I turned the other cheek. I believe it was at a Live at the Garden concert that she made some artichoke salad that really was killer. The only problem with the Ina’s menus is that you need to go knock off a bank because she cooks some expensive shit! Lobster, Caviar, Frozen Artichokes (which I may add is not available in Memphis) and cheeses that I have never heard about. Even my boy Tony Bourdain poked fun at Ina’s husband on his speaking tour “Jeffrey really loves his meatloaf, if you know what I mean.” Anyway when we moved up here I knew that we would be exposed to some new foods and naturally cuisines that one would not normally get in Memphis kind of like when we watch the show.

Mrs. CBT and I keep our expenses down so that we can visit all those Dive Bars and pay for many vacations by eating 90% of our meals at home. This also keeps our weight down since we try to eat more lean meat and we watch our portions. Let me stop you before you say “Way to go CBT” because in the pantry right next to the quinoa is a package of double stuffed Oreos because CBT is a fat kid at heart. Ever since I got relieved of my cooking duties (so I use a half a pound of butter when cooking) the menus are designed by Mrs. CBT. She takes great pride in creating the menus and I get to unpack the Fresh Direct boxes. This past Monday I get the Fresh Direct order and I am looking it over where I see under produce ‘Wild Ramps’.

“Honey, what the hell are Ramps?” I inquired to Mrs. CBT.

“They are very popular up here and are in season, Ina loves to cook with them.” She informed me from the other room.

“Honey, we are just getting into the spring, what the feck plant grows in the dead of the winter except for a weed?’ then I take a look in the box and what do I see…..a bunch of weeds that we just paid $6.00 bucks for.

So Mrs. CBT sautéed them up in the skillet with some “Good Olive Oil” and brown butter (you see what I did there KLC Man) and served them with Crab Cakes and oven roasted Asparagus with Lemon Zest. Now I consider myself a true adventurer when it comes to the cuisine up here in New York City. I will try everything at least once and rarely have gotten boinked. Well I found something out my friends. I am not a fan of Wild Ramps.

IMG_0972Here is the menu for the week

IMG_0973

Here is the Fresh Direct invoice, Wild Ramps??? I bet you guys have never seen that shit at Gangsta Kroger have you!

800px-Wild_Leeks

Here it is in all its glory. A wild ramp still with the loose soil on it.

20150416-ramps-top-image

Pic on the top right is what they looked like. Sadly I didn’t get a picture of the plate.

Again, you feckers call me Jeffrey and we are going to fight!