Lisa Marie

The Real MVP's Of This Thing

Some of you didn’t know this but I started in professional sales working for a Food Distributor. This was the old D.Canale Foods where the old downtown warehouse is now condos and apartments. When you start out working for them you go into the ‘Express’ where you handled smaller accounts. In addition to sales you also loaded and delivered your own orders. This made you get up early in the morning and naturally in the summer you sweated like a whore in church.

When I moved on to working for Caterpillar Material Handling I found that I missed that type of sales because you got some exercise but let me tell you something. I now have a huge respect for any person who has to deliver in the elements. My old former neighbor, the late great Wild Bill Craven, drove the Brown Truck for UPS. As he told me one time over a couple of beers, it sucks sometime but it isn’t like we are curing cancer.

Ladies and Gentlemen when we get done with all of this, I may openly hug and kiss any delivery person I encounter. Here they are out delivering the things that we need, making minuscule of wages and risking their lives to make sure we get our shit. I am serious when I say that anytime you get a delivery right you make sure you tip them to the point of financial uncomfortableness. God Bless You Men and Women.

Ok, I am off my soapbox now. Here are the pics from Monday. Oh and I didn’t leave the house till the evening walk for Maya. It rained all day and Maya really didn’t want to go out in that shit anyway.

I am worried about some folks on my favorite Island. That is kind of ironic for a guy who is sitting with Ringside Fucking Seats on the Northeast Epicenter. Belize now has their first confirmed case of COVID-19. I have messaged with a couple friends on the island privately but and can offer this to you extended family.
Its a Hurricane Mentality – You stay the Fuck inside, You practice Social Distancing. You don’t turn on the US News because it is crap anyway and don’t fall into the trap to posting shit that you don’t know to be truthful. Its ok to be nervous but if you can handle not being with power for any length of time you got this. We are all going to get through this. Some of you however will be spiting out kids in 9-10 months. Yes I am looking at you Warria!
Photo forwarded to me by my main girl TacoGirl who the next time I see I will kiss on the mouth!
So when I am on person to person calls I walk around our palatial apartment. I was over by our door which is also the place where we put all of our upcoming shit. Deep down I am glad that this got postponed till the fall. They were getting married on my birthday and I was going to Eleven Madison Park and was going to have to pass on their wedding.
See you in the fall Sky and April!
This picture made me lose my concentration today.
I was telling a customer that I was unsure if we can change the delivery address from New York City to Florida.
You see de plane was already inbound to EWR.
And I bet that “An Obscene Amount of Money” was on the stick and lawd knows he would give me some serious grief.
This fall I expect to see everyone.
Like I said today sucked for a view. Rain and Fog all day. Even the Rubber Chicken next to the humidifier (that was empty) was pissed at today.
Exchanged Texts with these knuckleheads a couple days ago. Wait till the one on the left finds out that Tio Carbunkle isn’t going to let her date till she is 30.
Same for this one but she gets on the Carl Lipbalm Memorial Scholarship list when she graduates from St. Mary’s.
These two knuckleheads inform me of their day each time daddy facetimes us.
Hey Obscene Amount of Money Mom – Feel free to call us too!
We are going to attempt to get some things that we have needed to do for a long time. This will then allow us to drink afterwards. Sadly the real job we now do is still taking a lot of our time while we are working from home.
I saw this thanks to Brother Aloysius today and I had to share with you.
By the way Z(squared) – I do expect this to add to the bathroom.

Again, make sure you tip those saviors who are delivering your stuff. And be nice to your fellow Man/Woman.

Random Pictures on the iFoam – Memphis Edition

Some of these are pretty good. Then again some of these are pretty bad depending on how you look at them.

IMG_0908Someone (not me) was enjoying their “Soul Burger” on the walk from home into South Bluffs

IMG_0926Had to snap a picture of my first downtown condo. Why the hell We didn’t keep that sucker is a mystery to me.

IMG_0941Me and A-Cups on the porch Sunday. We don’t have porches here in New York, we have stoops.

IMG_0934I took some major shit from the NYC boys for my “Preakness” Attire. I had to wear a jacket to Weed’s party and it was kind of warm so I broke out the shorts too. That was my first beer too!

IMG_0909Hadn’t seen this knucklehead in years. She is all grown up! We will have to add her and her sister to the CARL LIPBALM MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP list.

IMG_0940Lisa Marie and her little sister Willimena Esmerelda (she was born on Willie Nelson’s birthday) also do you not see her giving me an a Elvis pose? 

Don’t worry, that is all for the pictures from Memphis so relax.

Beware of the Gnome Killer – Pictures from BBQ Fest

Sorry folks its an inside joke. Well except for The Computer Hacker, he didn’t see the humor in late night experiment to see if Gnomes can fly. Anyway here are some pics that ended up on my iFoam from the weekend.

IMG_0881Little Lisa Marie at BBQ Fest. You can defiantly tell that she is RJ’s kid. She went after that cheese dip like a fat kid does with Chocolate Cake!

IMG_0882Sent this to Mrs. Trumpet and Lady Barrister to show that Mr. 3 first names and I were still alive and above ground.

IMG_0875If you didn’t know any better you would think that these boys were on a cooking team.

IMG_0877Sneak into town and the pitmaster was away at a working gig. I will catch you next time E.

IMG_0942Anybody know the number of the guy who loves Eddie Money? We have a fairly large surplus of Coors Light.

It was good to see everyone.

Pictures of the Week – Memphis and NYC

This additional duty of doing a daily Corny Lenten Joke and my other job as an amateur tattoo artist is tough on a guy so I apologize for this not getting posted yesterday. Here are some pics that ended up in my phone from last week’s wedding (some I don’t have a clue how they got there) & some I snapped here in Gotham.

img_0395Only in Memphis on Cleveland at Poplar do they have this awning.

img_0396Mommy, why is that strange man who daddy calls Robo taking a picture of me and don’t the courts say that he has to be 50 feet from me? Love me some Lisa Marie (not her real name) and next trip she will be making my bloody Mary’s for me!

img_0397Sure, let’s go to Wet Willies on a Friday afternoon on Beale Street. What could go wrong. Hey Chicken F*cker (I don’t know if she reads this worthless dribble) – remember when you used to get Call A Cab’s delivered to the pool by your minions? It is amazing that you gials graduated from Rhodes and we didn’t go into liver failure.

img_0399Here is where Rocky at Alex’s Tavern and Josh may fight because both say they are the oldest family owned bar/tavern in the city. I am not getting into the middle of this fight, I love both joints.

img_0400So Happy that this place is Non-Smoking now! Great to see Max knocking the cover off of the ball with this joint!

img_0401Big Spoon/Little Spoon – What goes on in Vegas and in Woodlawn stays in Vegas and Woodlawn. #Idonotcarethatyouhaveacramp #youaregoingtodie

img_0405Love me some Melzie W!

img_0432RAB rocking the old department store label!

img_0422Just about to enter the Matrix and show off her Elaine dancing skills. Great to see you A-Cups! You and ‘The Carol’ need to come up again! Just after March 30th!

img_0446So let me get this straight – I fill this out ‘right’ and I won’t be called for jury duty?
But if I fill it out ‘wrong’ then I get picked and get to hang with the troglodytes of New York?
Hey Big Al – What’s your mailing address?

img_0443Happy Fat Tuesday!

img_0447We kept on wondering why Maya was chewing up all of our stuff. Then we realized that she had destroyed all of her toys. A quick trip to Petco and Maya is a happy dog. Maddy – She couldn’t give 2 F*cks!

Have a good weekend!