Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

A Message to Tiger Fans heading to Brooklyn 1 of 2

So we are about a week away till a whole bunch of Tiger Fans head to Manhattan and Brooklyn for the Barclays Center Classic. I figured that I would put together a quick list for you Tiger Nation Fans coming up. Up here we always say “You got to have a guy” so think of ole Carbunkle as “your guy”. That and naturally #RoboCares. Here is a list of stuff to do/not to do in no sequential order;

  • Airport Taxis/Ubers – First off, ignore the guys who tell you that the taxi line is going to be very long and they have a car ready for you. They are illegal Uber/Lyft drivers and they may take your credit card but they have been known to charge your CC higher fees. Ubers and Lyfts are fine to use and they have an area to meet them that is covered.
  • Yellow Taxi vs Uber – I prefer to use Yellow Taxi’s in Manhattan as they are more plentiful and Uber’s will drop you if there is heavy traffic. However, I use Uber/Lyft in Brooklyn because you don’t find Yellow/Green Taxi’s as much as you do in Manhattan.
  • Just say no to the guys giving CD’s on the streets. Its a scam. Also unless you really want a pic with a superhero in Times Square just say no to that also. They will pester you for money.
  • People begging for money in the subways – They are everywhere. If you feel the need to give to the homeless then give them a protein bar or cheese and crackers. You will be surprised who says they are hungry but will turn you down when you give them food.
  • General Rules of the Road – downsize your wallet/purse. Do you really need your Flying Saucer card or your frequent coffee user card. ID, Credit Cards and Cash is really all you will need. Also put that shit in your front pocket. Although I have not heard of pickpockets as of late but it is better safe than sorry.
  • Nothing Good Happens After Midnight – Please note that Geranium would take Mass Transit alone many times when she was getting her MBA and never felt threatened. The subways are not like the movie “Warriors” because that shit stopped in the 90’s. We would take subways home after events but here is something to know. What you need to know is that after midnight all trains will run local. This means longer wait times at stations and for you to get to your destination. I have found that Ubers/Cabs are best at this time.
  • Directions – I actually use Google Maps and find that it is the best out there. It can give you up to date Subway directions and great walking directions. Just make sure you are using the ‘walking’ directions because it may think you are in a car. NOTE – Downtown in FiDi is tricky because the streets are narrow and it may have you a block over. You can always ask a New Yorker or someone walking a dog.
  • Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade – Here is where I can’t help you. Unless you can sweet talk Z squared into letting you up to their conference room over looking Ave of Americas you are on your own. Do some Google Searches for places that will have viewing parties. If it is cold like really cold you may want to watch it on TV.
  • Texting and Walking – Don’t do it! I will personally punch you in the throat if I see you do that. Those people are easy to spot. The walk slow and makes you want to post up like Gasol to take a charge because they will run into you.
  • Dinner/Brunch/Thanksgiving Plans – This week is going to be busy with fellow tourist, book your reservations NOW.
As seen as in Fort Greene Brooklyn!
Pay attention to this map because you may want to reference it for Thursday’s class

I will follow up on Thursday with some better information. Trust me, you will want to read that one.


The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 2018

We had some friends in town from Crime-Free Memphis and they had requested to see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Do you recall back when we went to the Parade in 2015 as a guest of the Asian Fireman?  They were forecasting that it would be a cold Thanksgiving Day. Actually it was a record breaking cold day 19 Degrees Fahrenheit (-7 for you Celsius folks) and nothing sucks more than standing out in the cold with no bathroom. Oh, on the day we saw the parade back in 2015?  I think it was like 40 degrees so that was perfect. Thanks to Z(Squared) we were able to procure a proper viewing spot from his office to watch the parade. 

Trust me when you see the parade from that vantage point I assure you that unless I am on a mudder fucking float with the fat man himself there isn’t any going back. I did get a little warm in the conference room overlooking the Avenue of America’s but having that bathroom is what is really is all about. Thank you to Z(Squared) for the hospitality. We will have you over for the Fireworks on July 4th. 

Parade walks off at 9PM and by the time they get here it is about 9:45AM. These poor folks have probably been on line since 6AM
Always start with Thanksgiving Floats 
See the Lamp Post in the middle of the float? They had all the floats down low this year because of the winds
Ole Pillsbury Still Makes The Cut
Ok Here Is The Green Giant – It is Thanksgiving And the Creator Of The Green Bean Casserole Died This Fall. 


Not A Fucking Clue


Here Is RAB’s Favorite Float. What is your hatred of Him? What did he ever do to you? 
Olaf (There were some kids in the conference room and they told me) 
Diana Ross – I hope she played better than she did at Live At The Garden

Hey Santa – I will hit you up later on my wish list
Current Position – Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Float Carrier. I carry the Star that says “Believe.” 
5 Minutes after the Fat Man Went By They Crowd is Gone! I don’t blame them, it was cold on Thursday.

Again A HUGE THANK YOU to Z(Squared) for the sweet vantage point. I know that our guests loved it and we did too! 

Pictures from Thanksgiving Week (didn’t take a lot of pics)

Had a lot of fun with friends who were in town over Thanksgiving Weekend.

IMG_2255It was kind of chilly and the crowds at Holiday Market on Union Square made my butt twitch so I needed a warmer and something to calm my nerves.

IMG_2243Walked to get EGP at Penn Station and snapped this picture. This is the front of Macy’s where they show the parade.

IMG_2244The Camera and Viewing Station for the Macy’s Parade

IMG_2247Best View of the Parade on Thursday. From the comfort of the couch with a coffee and on the couch.

IMG_2253Christmas decorations at Lillie’s on 17 Street. Hey RJ – We drank there!

IMG_2254If you don’t get into the holiday spirit after drinking here you have something wrong with you.

IMG_2250I thought that EGP was going to have a stroke when I purchased a Tall Boy Bud Light for the Train ride to Woodlawn. I told her it was tradition.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

Pictures of the Past Weeks

This goes back to when we had EGP in town for Thanksgiving to current day.

img_2625EGP and I went to go watch them blow up the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats on Wednesday night.

img_2630Standard Thanksgiving Dinner Wine

img_2632Fiona didn’t want any part of the picture. We were going to send it as our Christmas Card this year but it would just confuse a lot of people.

img_2637The Saturday after Thanksgiving is commonly referred to “Small Business Saturday” so we supported Small Business

img_2664-copyDamn You Jo! Damn you and your bottle of Jamo!

img_2659Bloomingdales on a Sunday

img_2646Ran into Coaches Slocum and Hatfield at a black tie event.

img_2639Nino’s is in the holiday spirit Too

img_2649Why hello Krazy Lady. Please keep your sheet on you. Ain’t nobody got time to see that ish.

img_2650Monkey Head Maya Turned 4 last week too!

Have a good day

Carbunkle Trumpet Does The Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade

“You Fecker’s have done more in 4 months than 60 year olds who have never left 5 boroughs of New York?” declared one of our friends when we told them we were going to the Parade on Thursday. Attached are 30 of the 168 better pictures that I took.

I will have other posts about the parade and will upload them to my Book of Face Account too! Thanks to the Asian Fireman for the tickets and to his wife and family for letting us horn in on the fun. It was cool!


Behind the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade from Someone on the Street

“Did you see the cast of X perform their act? How did Daughtry sound? “Did Pat Benatar really lip-sync her song? How hot was Eva Longoria?” Yeah, these were the questions that I received during the Parade and the answer to all of them was “Never saw it, that was the TV broadcast.” You know when you go to a live Nationally televised game and it takes longer because of the airing network and the commercials? That is what you get with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I am not dogging the experience we saw because it was killer! Growing up watching it over the years, oh yeah, it was a bucket list item.

First of all, many thanks to the Asian Fireman and his family for inviting us as the NYFD Pipes and Drums were marching in the parade for the first time since it is the 150 anniversary celebration of the NYFD. We scored grandstand tickets so rather than sleeping on the street the night before like a bunch of people did, we strolled up at 7AM and hung out till the parade started. The weather was perfect and you couldn’t have asked for a better day. Here are the top 10 things that I learned from attending the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  1. The Parade starts at 9AM from W77th and Central Park West and ends at 7th and 34th Street. The Parade route is roughly 3 miles long and takes 2 hours from start to finish.
  2. We were at 7th and Central Park South (halfway on the crosstown route) and the parade started for us at 9:30 and ended at 11:30. The TV show starts I think at 9AM so all those Broadway Musicals you saw? Those were the filler acts before the floats arrive.
  3. The clowns, roller blade people, float holders, and various parade people – Nicest people in the world, if I heard “Happy Thanksgiving” once, I heard it a million times. Great interaction that you don’t see on TV.
  4. When the clowns come by the barricade they sprinkle confetti on the kids and parents who aren’t paying attention.
  5. Those Floats and Balloons how high are they? Probably the rope from the ground to the bottom of the float was 3 to 4 stories. I imagine they use boom cameras for the visual effects.
  6. The float handlers wear the same colored jumpsuits and they group 3 people around a rope so nobody gets tired. Each float has a “Marshall” that tells them to hurry up or stay in the middle of the street.
  7. Speaking of staying in the middle of the street, did you know that they have to remove all the traffic lights that hang over the street? Any flagpoles that jut out over the street have to come down too. Our office is on 7th @ 37th street and I wondered why they were yanking the flagpoles on Tuesday.
  8. Counter Terrorism Officers and NYPD – Yes they were very present and did I feel scared for my life……I am a fucking New Yorker, I ain’t staying home and letting those jokers win. If Police Commissioner Bratton (who I love by the way) says that it will be safe so “get your coat on Momma, we are going to 59th street!”
  9. The musical acts (except for Cirque du Solei) basically sit on the float and wave to people. The Cirque folks do their act the whole route and even while the float is jumping.
  10. You start the parade with “Happy Thanksgiving” and to the end it changes to “Merry Christmas” and no LVD, Mariah Carey isn’t the end of the parade, it is and always will be SANTA.


Here is the Route, we were on Central Park South (59th Street) near 7th Street siting with our back to the park.

IMG_9648Again, thanks to the Asian Fireman for the Tickets! They were much appreciated.

IMG_9650You do have to get there early (2 hours prior) but at least we didn’t sleep on the street like the people across from us on Central Park South did

IMG_9647We assume that they yank the traffic lights the night prior or there will be all kinds of wrecks around Central Park. Oh Maria, aren’t you happy that the Citi Bike Stand is “Out of Service” when I become mayor….

IMG_9654Street Light look a little Cadi-Wampus? They swiveled the light towards the park so they didn’t have to remove it.

IMG_9655We were right across from the Essex House and I kept wondering what that was…It was a flagpole that got removed.

IMG_9656C-Man got cranky but I don’t blame him, he got woken up at 5AM, gets to see Uncle CBT and Aunt CBT then has to sit in the cold for 2 hours doing nothing waiting on the parade. He took a little nap on Grandma and was fine once the parade started.

IMG_9659Kudos the to the Crowd for the clapping & cheering and thanking the NYPD for their service today.

IMG_9687Here are the Ronald McDonald Float Handlers, all dressed alike so it blends in with the float.

IMG_9745“Hey Ian! Look to your left, that is the World Famous Carbunkle Trumpet and his Smoking Hot Wife!” mutters one of the members of the Pipes and Drums.

IMG_9712It was kind of funny watching the Floats hang a right onto Broadway

IMG_9774Poor Nan didn’t realize she was getting Confetti’d each time the Clowns came

IMG_9678Calling All Cars…Be on the lookout for Hello Kitty riding in an airplane. She was last seen heading south on Broadway from Central Park South.

Again, thanks to the J&E L for letting us horn in on the fun. We had a blast and this is one for the wall. Happy Holidays!