Mary Louise

There are 2 things that will always say the truth no matter what….. 2/2

Spandex and a 3 year old.

So when I left you I was peeing in the Gulf of Mexico with RJ. The rest of the week we pretty much stayed close to home. We did make a trip on a boat one day and that was a lot of fun. During that 3 hour boat tour some folks got White Girl White Claw Wasted and it was good to hang with our friends. Like I said before; for 2 people who don’t have children who freely want to vacation with 2 other families and their children says something. But then again these kids are pretty good and the only real tears shed that week was when we had to leave on Saturday to go back to the real world. Well that was until Expedia Fucked me.

Mallory and Elsie Hanging
Geranium and I
Captain
This was my Cartoon Watching Buddy
Beautiful Day on the water and at the beach!
Geranium preparing lunch
Knucklehead #2 enjoying String Cheese while dipping it into Rotel Cheese. (Makes me tear up just thinking about it)
Pour that shit in the sink. It isn’t even worth mixing it with Vodka!
JMH and RJ
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Weekends in New York can really suck ya know?

You recall when I was whining like a little bitch talking on Monday about having MPH and I was glad it was back to work? I better give you the cliff notes because if I went went blow by blow on each night then some of you may want to have an intervention. Trust me when I say that the RJ Fun-O-Meter was pegged pretty much every night.

Friday Night was the wedding and dance recital of Z(Squared) at the Boat House in Central Park. The Asian Fireman and Realtor Wife were in attendance as well as Muphranks. The Work Wife (The Managing one) was there with her¬†Midtown Uniform wearing husband as well as a bunch of other Time Square double decker tour bus ticket sales reps. The wedding was short, to the point and everyone said yes. The food, the never emptying glasses of wine, the band, and even dancing were a great and then when the glow sticks came out……aww shit it was on like Donkey Kong!!! Many thanks to Lady Barrister for remaining awake to navigate our safe arrival to Downtown Brooklyn. I hope that Mary Louise didn’t snore too bad. Truth be told Mr. 3 First Names and I weren’t really sleeping, we were just resting our eyes. Congrats to Z(squared) on making it legal and thanks for a great party.

Hey D(squared) at AMF/HQ on Tully Street in Crime-Free New Chicago – call me this week. I saw a really cool thing at this party that you may want to consider it for your next Thanksgiving Wedding. #RoboCares

Saturday day was spent relaxing and celebrating Mary Louie’s anniversary of circling the sun. That evening we attended the Losers Lounge rendition of Barry Manilow & Bette Midler. I learned something very important about this show. Apologies to my homosexual readers but I found out that I really don’t like the music of Barry Manilow. I mean other than Copacabana his stuff is just crap. Here is where I am going to further upset you more – any rendition of Bette Midler and the movie “Beaches” really needs to Fucking Stop also.

Sunday was spent yet again with a music theme and as luck would have it we got to hang with Vivian Longstreet and Della Forte again. We saw them Saturday night and then when we arrived at the Barclays for Phil Collins they were also in the same suite we were in. Phil Collins was great and his voice is the same and even though he was recuperating from back surgery which slowed him down a bit his 17 year old son played the Drums. Great Show and we were glad that we decided to attend the show.

IMG_4467Yep, we are in Black Tie heading to the event stuck in traffic

IMG_4469I am so glad that Mr. 3 First Names, Asian Fireman and I sat down at someone else’s table because the amount of glassware full of booze is really appalling. We all drank mineral water that night.

IMG_4473You can always tell a good night out by what you purchase the next day for lunch. Work Wife (Managing One) got World Famous Halal guys on Saturday. We opted for $50 worth of greasy Mexican Food and a nap.

IMG_4477Pregame dinner and drinks before Losers Lounge

IMG_4482Anna Copacabana singing what else? Copacabana and it was great.

Image-1Yes that was Phil singing “In the Air Tonight” after the drum solo! Boom!

IMG_4500Whole Band Killing It. If you can see a show I highly encourage you to go see him.

Like I said it really was a shitty weekend in New York. I hope that we get to do it again.

Where do you come up with these names?

Sorry for the delay in posting. I was busy last week because we had a long weekend to the Midwest for a wedding and I am getting back into the swing of things. Oh that and Mary Louise is +13 hours ahead of me in Japan so I am running this household all by myself. What pisses me off is that Mary Louise won’t tell me the Final Jeopardy answers since she is a day ahead of me. I hate to tell RJ but I think that she has found a new Sushi Buddy.

While we were in the Midwest this past weekend I had a couple of my readers of this worthless dribble ask me; “Where do you come up with the names of the people you interact with?” Naturally I “change the names to protect the innocent or non-sober” but some of the Mo-Ho’s were asking me how I created their names. Let me give you some insight into some of the players you read on this worthless dribble;

  • Mary Louis/Mrs. Trumpet – Thanks To Vivian Longstreet, she penned this because it is her soap opera name. She is also a perfume designer.
  • Maria – She keeps her name because she is my trusted consigliere and quite frankly she knows where all the bodies are buried. Seriously, has anyone seen Trucker Jim or Box of Rocks lately? I rest my case.
  • The Work Wife, The International One – Well she is a work friend and that is what she does
  • The Work Wife, The Domestic One – Currently Vacant
  • The Work Wife, The Managing One – See “Work Wife, The Domestic One” because she got a promotion.
  • The Asian Fireman – Well his last name is Lee so you do the math here.
  • Mr. 3 First Names – What can I say, this Staten Island resident has 3 first names in his first and last names.
  • Lady Barrister/Landlord – It is what she does and she is the landlord to Mr 3 first names
  • Z Squared – Couples name for 2 people whose last names start with Z (this isn’t rocket science folks)
  • UWS Holly – Someone names Holly who may live in the Upper West Side?
  • Baby Fine Hair (Haven’t spoken about her lately) but this person uses a shampoo that is specifically for people with Baby Fine hair. Hey it is better than me calling her “Person with a Mongoloid Foot Tattoo”!

Now this past weekend at this wedding we attended a new nickname was created. No it wasn’t from my (So in need of therapy) brain. It was from her own Flesh and Blood…..

With that, and I will do a proper blog post on the wedding and weekend. Congrats to Baby Fine Hair and Kristina on their wedding this past weekend!!!!

IMG_4270Hey don’t blame me Kiki (what I used to call Kristina before this weekend) blame your brother! Congrats and we were so happy to share with you your special day!

For those of you who weren’t in St. Louis the Celebrant (the bride on the left’s brother) when announcing the names of the newly married instead of saying K—n inserted his own wife’s name, Kristina, by mistake. Me I am going to roll with it!

Sunday Funday Mexico Photo Dump

Mary Louise has left my ass again………for Seattle………then her ass goes to Mexico for a girl’s weekend with Baby Fine Hair so I am sitting on the 3rd floor veranda blogging. Hey Mr 3 First Names and Landlord you guys want to get into some trouble between now and next Monday? I am going to be unsupervised till then. So while I have the wash going on trying to get the Hickory Smoke smell out of them from this past weekend I figure I would post the last of the Mexico pictures, well those that we can recall taking sober.

Isla was a blast, the group we went down with was fun and we had great weather. Oh and we got to see the Cuban Band and I am going on record saying that if Mary Louise goes to see them next Sunday I am going to be really jealous.

IMG_3801Oh I am sure that this is approved in the States at a lot of the job sites.

IMG_3771Poor LZ we had her all confused with the nicknames. “So is he Smoothie, Pepe or what?”

IMG_3777One of these days I am going to get a proper invite instead of having to jump over the fence.

IMG_3753That damn Cuban lead singer made the Future Mrs. Gonzales lose her pants. What goes on in Mexico stays in Mexico.

IMG_3751The Mexican Version of “Mustang Sally” isn’t as good as one would think

IMG_3752Lil Man was getting after it!

IMG_3739It is hard being Carbunkle Trumpet you know? Those 25 Cigars aren’t going to smoke themselves.

IMG_3755Momma L was gettin it as the Cheese Grater Guy was making his rounds.

IMG_3748Sunday in Isla is fun!

IMG_3741I hear that they have good Mediterranean Pizza. I wouldn’t know because my piece was on the fucking floor.

Till Next Time Isla! Maybe we can make a quick trip this winter.