Max’s Sports Bar

Random Pictures on the iFoam – Memphis Edition

Some of these are pretty good. Then again some of these are pretty bad depending on how you look at them.

IMG_0908Someone (not me) was enjoying their “Soul Burger” on the walk from home into South Bluffs

IMG_0926Had to snap a picture of my first downtown condo. Why the hell We didn’t keep that sucker is a mystery to me.

IMG_0941Me and A-Cups on the porch Sunday. We don’t have porches here in New York, we have stoops.

IMG_0934I took some major shit from the NYC boys for my “Preakness” Attire. I had to wear a jacket to Weed’s party and it was kind of warm so I broke out the shorts too. That was my first beer too!

IMG_0909Hadn’t seen this knucklehead in years. She is all grown up! We will have to add her and her sister to the CARL LIPBALM MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP list.

IMG_0940Lisa Marie and her little sister Willimena Esmerelda (she was born on Willie Nelson’s birthday) also do you not see her giving me an a Elvis pose? 

Don’t worry, that is all for the pictures from Memphis so relax.

Pictures of the Week – Memphis and NYC

This additional duty of doing a daily Corny Lenten Joke and my other job as an amateur tattoo artist is tough on a guy so I apologize for this not getting posted yesterday. Here are some pics that ended up in my phone from last week’s wedding (some I don’t have a clue how they got there) & some I snapped here in Gotham.

img_0395Only in Memphis on Cleveland at Poplar do they have this awning.

img_0396Mommy, why is that strange man who daddy calls Robo taking a picture of me and don’t the courts say that he has to be 50 feet from me? Love me some Lisa Marie (not her real name) and next trip she will be making my bloody Mary’s for me!

img_0397Sure, let’s go to Wet Willies on a Friday afternoon on Beale Street. What could go wrong. Hey Chicken F*cker (I don’t know if she reads this worthless dribble) – remember when you used to get Call A Cab’s delivered to the pool by your minions? It is amazing that you gials graduated from Rhodes and we didn’t go into liver failure.

img_0399Here is where Rocky at Alex’s Tavern and Josh may fight because both say they are the oldest family owned bar/tavern in the city. I am not getting into the middle of this fight, I love both joints.

img_0400So Happy that this place is Non-Smoking now! Great to see Max knocking the cover off of the ball with this joint!

img_0401Big Spoon/Little Spoon – What goes on in Vegas and in Woodlawn stays in Vegas and Woodlawn. #Idonotcarethatyouhaveacramp #youaregoingtodie

img_0405Love me some Melzie W!

img_0432RAB rocking the old department store label!

img_0422Just about to enter the Matrix and show off her Elaine dancing skills. Great to see you A-Cups! You and ‘The Carol’ need to come up again! Just after March 30th!

img_0446So let me get this straight – I fill this out ‘right’ and I won’t be called for jury duty?
But if I fill it out ‘wrong’ then I get picked and get to hang with the troglodytes of New York?
Hey Big Al – What’s your mailing address?

img_0443Happy Fat Tuesday!

img_0447We kept on wondering why Maya was chewing up all of our stuff. Then we realized that she had destroyed all of her toys. A quick trip to Petco and Maya is a happy dog. Maddy – She couldn’t give 2 F*cks!

Have a good weekend!

Been kinda Bizzy!

Stop yelling at me ok? I get it that I am a slacker and haven’t written in a week. I could give you this sob story about how I am banging out a bunch of hours on the new job. Or that since Momma is pledging her sorority at NYU I have taken up the duty of cooking the evening meals. That on Sunday when I normally bust out a lot of these stories on the laptop but the internet was jacked up.  It certainly couldn’t be that I went to the West Side to drink Whisky and smoke cigars with The Banker. Nah it wasn’t that one, not at all.  let’s get you back up to speed shall we?

Yes, last week I was back in Memphis for selling tickets class for the Tour Bus company and I really didn’t have much time to play. I did some networking, I caught up with my former admin who now lives in Memphis and lived out off of Hack Cross Road for the week. I did ‘sneak’ downtown on Sunday and got to see some folks but this trip was so busy I didn’t sound the alarm so sorry if I didn’t see everyone. We will be back at Christmas so clear your calendar. Anyway here are some pictures that I had on my iFoam so here they are in no particular order. Yes they are way out of order too.

img_5525Those damned South Main Hipsters with their ManBuns……Oh wait sorry Gardo!

img_5533Your Father is an Eagles Fan, your mommy is a Cowboys fan…Let’s piss them all off shall we Lisa Marie? Let’s make you a JETS fan!

img_5534The Dog is thinking – “Who is this Northern Fecker who knocked on my door and camped out on my patio smoking a cigar?”

img_5542That kid is going to be alright. Already camping out under the bar on a busy Wednesday night.

img_5543So good to see these two!

img_5545I will admit that I miss the Memphis News a little.

img_5558Made a trip on the Q Train to Park Slope and walked by the Russian House in Neon

img_5559Congrats to Mr. 3 first names on getting a new title with the NYFD. We are proud of you and hope you will be in the UES!

img_5568Forgot to hit Send on this on Saturday. Thankfully we had Whisky Club on Sunday.

img_5517Still got to use these on Sunday night. Anyone else have keys to a bar in Memphis? I do….at least until Momma changed the lock.

I am off to Boston this afternoon to celebrate my Aruba Wife’s anniversary of circling the sun 50 times. Have a good weekend and I promise to do better.

 

The Memphis Water Cover Up of April 2014

Let me let you in on a ‘dirty little’ secret about my former hometown. I think that the statute of limitations have run out and since I don’t own a car anymore I don’t have to worry if it will blow up when I go to start it. You see Memphis had a huge cover up 2 years ago and still to this day they don’t talk about it. And this goes pretty deep too, like aquifer water well deep. You ready for it, Memphis 2 years ago had a huge water problem and now we are seeing the effects of it firsthand. No I am talking Flint Michigan lead in the water crisis, I am talking about baby making water. Seriously, first it started with favorite Tavern owner, then we assume that Pepe brought some water back to Philly for DP to drink, next was RJ & Mallory, I could go on for pages…..

Memphians who were on the front lines knew what was going on, I told Mrs. CBT that she was no longer allowed to drink water from the tap so she switched over to Wine and Beer. Double Bird MS switched over to Miller Light and our Ponzi scheme home owner started drinking Fireball like it was her job. One night we were at our local sports bar solving the world’s problem and out of the corner of my eye I see my Bar Wife about to choke down a birth control pill with a glass of water and I had to slap the glass out of her hand. I told her that she had to take her chances because I wasn’t going to let her raise a beautiful child that sadly would never get to ride the adult rides at Disney World. *Editor’s note – For those of you wondering WTF I am talking about, I have a bar wife, she and I were married by Elvis Priestly from Canada on Beale Street. Oh and my Real Wife we had our vows renewed by an Elvis Tribute Artist in Vegas for our 5th Anniversary.

Ok, I am cutting to the chase because I am nearing 350 words. So this Saturday morning Mrs. Trumpet and I get our happy asses up and head down to Penn Station to take a train ride over to Philly. The occasion…..A one year old’s birthday party. I do have to hand it to the city planners up here in the North East. You guys know how to move people around and in bulk too! Getting to Philly, more specifically Glenside was two shakes of Lamb’s tail and we were there! We get up there, get us a cold beer in us and watch Pepe wrestle with his smoker since they had a rain storm. Pulled Pork, Ribs, Chicken, Kielbasa and Smoked Mac & Cheese were on the menu. I must admit it had been a while since I saw multiple charcoal and stick burners going on at the same time and it made me feel nostalgic.

It was good to see everyone and yes, I watched the 1 year old destroy the obligatory birthday cake.

I don’t really understand that practice but hey, I did my job. I kept my real and bar wife from drinking the water 2 years ago!

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She would’t drink beer with me in the morning! Not my fault there is a Pinot Grigio Grape Shortage now.

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Got up at 4AM to get the Smoker going and still going strong!

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If the Rib Bends then like a Rainbow it is good – Rib 101 rule

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Glazed up and ready for cutting! Sadly the Jewish folks who were heading out for Passover festivities didn’t stick around.

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There is nothing better than putting your hands in Pork Meat and pulling  it apart.

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For those of you who were calling Bullshit on My Bar Wife and I being married by Elvis Priestly. Here is his card that I keep in my book.

Let me guess, you went to Hot Wing Festival and then Wine Race this weekend didn’t you? Fuckers!

Fellow Bloggers You Should Also Read – Paul Ryburn

We are going to get this new series off the ground as my friend down in Belize,  TacoGirl, is in the process of moving and she has promised her answers back to me in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime I figured we would showcase a US blogger that I have known for as many years that he has lived in 38103.  Paul, along with Mike King, was very vocal about the homeless and did a great job of identifying them and if they carried an open warrant they were removed from the downtown streets. Yeah, Memphis had a bad problem with more aggressive panhandlers back in the day and thankfully they made a dent in it. I am a frequent stalker of Paul’s blog as he does a great job of showcasing the events in downtown Memphis  and supporter of some great non-profits. Also it keeps us up to date with the goings on in our former city.

Anyway thanks to Paul for playing along and I will showcase Taco Girl in about 2 weeks.

The Cold Hard Facts About Your Blog

  1. Name of your blog, hyper link, twitter handle, Facebook page and your Pen Name.  Paul Ryburn’s Journal, http://www.paulryburn.com/blog, Paul Ryburn on Facebook, @paulryburn on Twitter. I don’t have a pen name, I use my real name. 
  2. How did you come up the name of the blog and or your Penname?  Given that it is a personal blog, “Paul Ryburn’s Journal made sense.
  3. Describe your blog/brand in 5 sentences or less. I started writing  journal in 1999 so my former students at the U of M could keep up with me. In 2004 I converted it to blog format; in 2004 I found out my neighbors actually read this thing, so I started taking it seriously and posting every day. It is about my life in downtown Memphis. The main posts I try to make in my writing is that there is a lot to do down here in walking/trolley distance, and there is no easier place to meet people and make friends. 
  4. Did your blog change direction over the course of the life of it? If so can you explain? About 2005-6 it changed from my own personal journal to “The Downtown Blog” so I started treating it as such. However, I still throw in personal stuff whenever I want. I do not get paid and I have no editor, allowing me to write without a filter.
  5. Number of times you try to post something in a week?  I go for at least once a day and sometimes multiple posts a day. I post whenever I have something interesting to share with my readers. If I skip a day it’s because I don’t have anything interesting, and I am not going to post simply for the sake of posting.
  6. Where do you get your material and how hard/easy is it for you?  Word of mouth is my best source; also, accounts I follow on Twitter, things friends post on Facebook, RSS feeds
  7. What countries are your readers coming from?  Mostly US. Occasional readers from Canada and Europe, which I assume are people planning to visit Memphis or Memphis transplants.
  8. How often do you encounter readers on the streets/social media and does it still freak you out when they say that they read you?  It doesn’t freak me out at all when people come up and tell me they read my blog. I have had people tell me they have found jobs, gotten seats on nonprofit boards, and been reunited  with pets because of things I have posted. I have had people tell me they have moved Downtown from other parts of the city, and in a few cases even moved here from out of state, after reading my blog. I am more proud of those things than I am of winning any Best of poll award.   What freaks me out is when people recognize  me but are afraid to come talk to me because I’m this “big, important local blogging celebrity.” I’m just a regular guy! I promise you, I am one of the easiest people to meet.
  9. Got any good “hate mail” comments you want to share with the class?  In 2006 I went on a rant after a few of my friends got robbed and the panhandlers got out of control. A reader named In2RealEstate send me a long email saying I was destroying property values in the area. Because I was honest? By the way Downtown is a good deal safer in 2016 than it was a decade ago.
  10. Any particular blog post that you are particularly proud of? Please include the link if you like.  I don’t have time to search of the links, but there was a September 23, 2015 post about the behavior of a homeless woman Downtown that I am proud of. Also search “Popester in da hizzy” (2005) and “Chicken fried steak rap” (2015)

Let’s Talk about you shall we?

  1. Who you be?  I’m Paul Ryburn. I have a Master’s degree in computer science and spent five years teaching math at the University of Memphis. Since then I have been a web designer, currently for an organization that sanctions a card game.
  2. Where you be? Downtown Memphis, Tennessee. Proud resident for nearly 14 years.
  3. Where did you come from? (please don’t say hospital or parents) Little Rock, Arkansas. I moved to Memphis to go to Rhodes College. Except for a six-month stay in San Diego, I have been a Memphian ever since.
  4. Care to talk about your family or if you have any ankle biters/pot lickers (pets) where you charge your laptop/tablet?  I’m an only child. My mother still lives in Little Rock. I don’t have any family in Memphis. No pets.
  5. Name up to 5 countries/places you visited, loved and recommend to my readers? San Diego – Beautiful city, perfect weather.  Montreal – So laid back. Great culture. Obviously I would go in the summer. I hate cold weather. Lexington, Kentucky – Made several visits as a traveling corporate trainer. Likeable town. Little Rock – Up-and-coming mid-sized city.  Chicago – Love the walkability. Again, would go in the summer.
  6. What countries/cities you have on your radar for future travel locations?  New York (Manhattan), San Francisco, Seattle, I wouldn’t mind a trip to Romania after 2005-06 Flying Saucer visits taught me that the girls in Romania are really hot. *Editors Note – Oh Paul, I have failed to mention something about my neighborhood Cigar Joint on East 73rd street.  One of the girls who works there is Romanian and well…..Lupe is built like a brick shithouse!
  7. If you had the financial means to do so, where would you like to live and why? Downtown Memphis, where I live now. I could not give up my friends and favorite places for any amount of money. I might maintain crash pads in Midtown Memphis and in maybe one or tow of my favorite cities.
  8. When you aren’t banging on a keyboard what do you like to do for fun?  I am a regular at the bars of Downtown Memphis, where I hang out with my friends – and I have friends on both sides of the bar. My favorites are my “Big Five” of Bardog Tavern, Blind Bear, Flying Saucer, Silly Goose, and Max’s Sports Bar. I also love poker and played for money online before the government banned that in 2011. Occasionally I play in weekly bar games Downtown. I am on a BBQ team called the Moody Ques that competes in Memphis in May and regional contests. I am Director of Public Relations for the team and have a voting seat on the team’s board of directors.
  9. We know that you read carbunkletrumpet.wordpress.com (who doesn’t?) but who else do you read/stalk on a daily basis? You know it is weird, I really don’t have any other blogs I visit daily. I have their RSS feeds and click on when a post looks interesting, and I follow many of them on Twitter and Facebook. That is how I learn about latest posts.
  10. Could you get me an introduction with that author so that I can send them this questionnaire? N/A

Fun/Random Stuff that you would like to share with the class

  1. What is your favorite food and restaurant (doesn’t have to be in your current location)  Mexico Chiquito, Little Rock Arkansas. I love a plate of brown-and-yellow Tex-Mex food.
  2. If you are living abroad, what is the one thing that you miss the most? N/A
  3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (please don’t say older)  Still in Downtown Memphis, even with a wider circle of great friends. Not married, no kids. Director of PR for a grand champion BBQ team.
  4. What’s on your bucket list?  Hmmm, I never really think in terms of bucket lists. Win cooking trophies at BBQ Fest, visit cities I mentioned. I don’t know. Most of the things I’ve really wanted to do already. I guess “find a sane women who communicates well and understands me” is on the bucket list, but then “win a billion dollars in the lottery” is probably equally likely.
  5. What is the question do you want to ask Carbunkle Trumpet (I promise to answer honestly) Karaoke. WHY??????  Fair question and God knows that we have had some fun with the Karaoke harassment over the years. Full Disclosure – I have ‘sang’ a couple of songs, primarily Elvis songs, in Memphis at the Monkey and naturally alcohol was in play. I have visited a Korean Karaoke parlor here in the Koreatown section of Midtown Manhattan and I can say that you have not seen a better shitshow! One of the bars that we visit to watch football has evening Karaoke but we haven’t partaken. Don’t worry, if you make it up here, I promise not to take you to Iggy’s or the Koreatown joint.

Thanks for playing along Paul.

Whats a Grizz fan living in NYC to do?

You have heard my struggles this past fall during football season. I can report that the majority of New Yorkers really don’t give two shits about college football. Now I have met UConn fans (not sure how far of a road trip that is from NYC) Rutgers fans (think that is in New Jersey) and we even shared a Metro North with Fordham fans (snicker, snicker). However, watching College Football on the TV on a Saturday in NYC is nothing like it is in Memphis. The rule traditionally is (or it is at the Cigar Inn) that Professional sports trumps college football and then if there is nothing on then they will show a team that is near NYC. I have watched a couple UMass Football games this year and have given up asking to change it to watch an SEC game. Sure I could go down to one of the bars that is labeled “Official NAME OF COLLGE bar” but those bars are kind of expensive. Translation….I love my Hogs but drinking $8.00 Bud light to dull the pain can get expensive. That and we are normally busy on the weekend so maybe next year Hogs. 

Now that we are in the doldrums of the winter NBA basketball and Hockey are the sport of kings up here. Mrs. Trumpet and I got pretty addicted watching the Memphis Grizzlies when we lived downtown and if this move to NYC didn’t occur our arses  probably would be sitting in Fed Ex Forum as season ticket holders. At the start of the season we found that our Max’s Sport Bar of the UES, Iggy’s, would put the Grizz game on for us but that is 82 games.  We then feared for our livers because watching those many games in a bar can get VERY expensive. Add to that I recalled a couple of times during football season that Max would have some wildcard off the wall football game on a TV. We would inquire he informed us that some guy called and wanted to watch his beloved Slippery Rock football. We would then look at him muttering “bless your heart” so we didn’t want to be ‘those guys’ up here.  Heck we even tried that Memphis Grizzlies bar that was featured in the Commercial Appeal that is in the East Village and that turned out to be a bust. 

So what were two Grizz fans going to do? We ended up getting the NBA League Pass. That way we can sit on the couch with the dogs curse Tuohy, make fun of Rob Fischer’s outfits and listen to Memphis commercials. It was a win-win for us, or at least we thought so. The Grizz aren’t doing that well and my mantra turned into “If I wanted to watch a shitty basketball team, I could watch the Knicks for free!” Oh well at least it keeps us off the street and from watching black-market videos from Asian Video hawkers. But let’s don’t forget that I am now a hockey fan so who knows I may start painting my face!

IMG_0139Wore this to work today and everyone in the office said that the color looked good with my jacket.

IMG_0141Tonight the Grizz minus some key players take on The Rockets

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When I want people to feel sorry for me and let me sit when on the subway because I am ‘special’ I wear my Grizz gear. I would wear Bama Football Gear but they may mistake me for sleeping with my family and that I got the shirt at Walmart.