22 years of marriage on Saturday, Momma got home on Thursday, and we had a 3 day weekend – Maya and I were happy! This is going to be more of a Friday Picture post. That being said;
Hope you have a good week folks. Be thankful that it is only 4 days. Oh and Geranium is leaving my ass to head to Seattle today as well. She gets back on Friday and she is going to meet me at Andi’s bar at Baker Street in the UES.
Would it have killed one of you Fuckers to remind me that today is the day that Mary Louise returns? I have been busy AF getting the house back to normal. I just found the dog buried under a pile of dirty clothes – Throw that shit away…..the dirty clothes, not the dog. Get the printer table cut down so Geranium can work from her work station or she isn’t going to be happy. Where is the fucking toilet brush???? No time, just use her Quip Toothbrush and get another one later this afternoon. Now I got swing by the bank and pay all the neighbors off for the month long Robo-Palooza festivities we have been having. She asked me to text Maria to get her a hair appointment. Maria you got help a brother out and say you have been too busy to respond to me!
I am kidding folks. I am ready to see my wife. I am ready to spend a nice weekend with her. I am ready to make no plans this weekend with her. I am proud of her for this experiment. I am very gracious that I was able to see her 2 times during her 32 day trip and I am ready for her to be State Side for the next 180 days!
I was trying to think back the other day when was the last time I lived alone. I had to go back to 1992 when I was living in the Shrine Building, working at Chez Philippe. and making more money than God. Since then I went out to East Memphis for a brief stint and then back downtown and started cramping Didi’s style at 71 Union Ave. Then I met Mary Louise and since then the toilet seat has been down ever since.
Mary Louise is to return back in the US on the 22nd of May until then it is going to be just me and the dog. Oh and don’t worry, I am not sitting here on the couch crying my eyes out. Vivian and Stone and I had dinner last weekend and I have a feeling that Maria and I will catch a dinner in the next couple of weeks. Of course Mr. 3 First Names and I have been out every night coming home in the early hours of the morning with Memphis in May sobriety. Ok that is a lie, he and the Landlord have been busy over there in the Slope with a remodeling job that is over halfway done. Maybe we can get some drinks next weekend.
I have been spending a lot more time at work and getting stuff done which isn’t bad for me. Naturally I have been spending a couple more hours than normal at the Gym that I belong to. The gym is over on East 73rd street between 1st and 2nd Avenue and I walk out of there needing a shower because I stink. For those of you who are not doubled over laughing need to know that the gym isn’t called Soul Cycle or Equinox but The Cigar Inn.
Oh and don’t cry for me too much. My ass is leaving this evening heading over to Barcelona to meet up with Geranium. She is going to be there for training so I figured I would crash her style and get some Spanish culture in too! Oh and by the way, when I text or facetime with Geranium she doesn’t care about me, she wants to see pics of the dog. Below are some of the pics from this past week.
Not sure if some of you are aware but Geranium has left me, she has left the dog, and she temporarily no longer living in Downtown Brooklyn.
Well that should get a couple of bites on my social media accounts. Those jokers are now saying “Whisky Tango Foxtrot Paul Allen/Carbunkle Trumpet!” What the Fuck did you do now?
Relax gang, Mary Louise is over in Switzerland for a month getting her company ready for a Bed Pan launch. It is easier for her to already be in the EU instead of a bunch of trips back and forth from NYC. She has been gone now a week and I am not going to lie one bit….. I miss the shit out of her! The dog……she is missing her too.
When it was official that Mary Louise was to take this month long trip we decided that we needed to get away for a couple of days and have some ‘us’ time. While we were upstate last month, I challenged our Travel Agent to come up with a couple of good All Inclusive Resorts for us. We were booking this thing in the matter of weeks so we didn’t have time to shop, find a deal or even mess with it. Jerre Martin of Prosper Travel knocked it out of the park for us. She recommended a Secrets SilverSands (not sure why there isn’t a space but that is the way everyone spelled it) Riviera Adults Only Resort in Cancun that was perfect for us. Seriously, and I don’t normally give props to resorts but if you want a small all inclusive adult joint with a nice beach, pool, and great staff…..This is the place for you.
We left New York Friday evening and got into Cancun around 11PM. We got to our room and went to bed because we were so tired promptly to the bar and made up for lost time while were. We were there till Tuesday late afternoon and returned on the 19:30 flight to Newark from Cancun. The food was good, the drink was cold, they had Kettle One for me and a wine that Geranium enjoyed. Now here is where you are going to say that we are getting old.
The entertainment team at Secrets SilverSands Riveria is top notch! They made sure that if you didn’t want to be bothered, the left you alone. If you played in the pool, they made you feel welcome. And if you were like our old asses playing Bingo and Blackjack, they had fun with you! Seriously if you want to make a trip with just you and the spouse. we found the All Inclusive for you!
Seriously, we had a blast down in Mexico and it was a fun trip before Mary Louise Geranium’s trip to Switzerland. Again our travel agent knocked it out of the park for us. I gave her a list of our wants (Good Beach, Adults Only, Don’t want to spend an arm & leg, and age appropriate guest list) and she gave us a great recommendation. More to come in these past trips.
This is what Trevor, front desk concierge, and I say each Friday while I am taking Monkey Head Maya out for her morning pee in the park. This week was a fun one. I survived circling the sun 49 trips and am now gearing up for a helluva 50th! Geranium and I went for drinks with some of my clients and tonight we are going to meet the Hot Tub “Wet Bandit” who is in town. Saturday is up in the air and Sunday we are going to see Lightbulb and the Asian Fireman.
Here are some pics from the past couple of weeks. I know I have been remiss on posting this but I have been busy.
The Dog and I are starting to get on each others nerves. Seriously, she has been gone since last Tuesday and we are missing her. The Seamless Delivery dude and I know each other on a first name basis. The good news is that I have watched pretty much every episode of “M*A*S*H*” and “Two and a Half Men” (She hates those shows) but the DVD is getting full of her midget and Dr. Pimple Popper shows.
And for those of you wondering when @Maya_in_NYC Instagram will be posting again. She gets in Friday afternoon from her flight from Toyko!
Man I took some serious hell from some of you guys for having a fancy dinner last weekend. Guess I need to step up my game and have dinner at Eleven Madison Park and REALLY piss you off. Anyway here are some pictures from last week.
Next week we will be busy with travels to Memphis and then back.
I bet if Maya could read this worthless dribble she would be saying; “Nope I am good, I am looking forward to taking a nap!” What Maya didn’t realize when we asked her if she wanted to go outside that we were going to head down to Dumbo (Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass) for the day. She already had a big day by going to the UES to get groomed and then she got to get out and stretch her little legs.
To get down to Dumbo from our home you take the 2/3 Train. I guess I can never be a Supreme Court Justice because we broke the MTA law and didn’t put her in a bag or enclosure. She was tucked in Mary Louise’s arms and was very content making the 3 subway stops to Clarke Street. Once we got out we let her walk and I have to admit that I was concerned how she was going to do with crowds and lots of feet with her 9 inches off the ground. She did pretty good. She would follow me as we walked around and would hide between our legs when we stopped to look around.
Wait you mean I have a choice? I can stay here or go walk 6.6 miles today? Fuck You Paul and Mary Louise!
But First we have to take a Selfie
By the Brooklyn Bridge
The Carousel down on the waterfront. And no I am not going to insult your intelligence by saying “This is Jane’s Carousel made by the Philadelphia Toboggan Company” You can read that shit yourself.
Beautiful day for a wedding. These two got married by the banks of the East River.
Resting having a beer and glass of wine admiring the view before heading home.
Here is that Pizza Place they talk about. The line was long to say the least.
To say that Maya was worn out is an understatement.
And before you drop a line and call the ASPCA on my ass know that she stayed in on Sunday.