Mexico

Mexican Super Bowl and The Spam e-Mail

As you can see from the featured pictured that on the 18th of December I get an email from RJ saying that the gauntlet has been thrown. I confer with Geranium on her schedule and within 5 minutes of getting that email we are informing our favorite travel agent that we can’t be one-upped by RJ and Mal-O-Rie and to book us the same time down in Mexico.

I realize that the weekend we will be down in Mexico will also be the Super Bowl. I already knew by mid October that the Jets and Giants were out so I was ok watching a sporting event from another country. I was in London the previous Super Bowl and I didn’t really miss much. We stayed at a brand new resort and had a blast. Of course we don’t have to have much (except for a shitload of Wine and Vodka) to have a good time with the 4 of us.

We had great weather, the game was actually fun and it was good to get away from Memphis and New York for a couple days.

Kind of nice not having to get up at the Crack of ass to go to the Airport
We hated it!
The Resort went all out for the party. They had bar food so we got our fill of Mexican Corndogs and Fried Goodness
Transition from Blender Drinks to Evening Vodka requires you to have a Margarita and Beer
I hope they are facetiming with Lisa Marie and Willimena in Memphis. Then again Big Jim was there and he was unsupervised at the bar.
Do you have a 1953 bottle of MD 20-20?
Good thing that Geranium is a Nurse
Oh wait that wasn’t eye drops, it was perfume
My Dessert Buddy was jealous of my lunch selection.

So who will you be emailing with 45 days notice to come to a foreign country and drink with them?

Sunday Funday Mexico Photo Dump

Mary Louise has left my ass again………for Seattle………then her ass goes to Mexico for a girl’s weekend with Baby Fine Hair so I am sitting on the 3rd floor veranda blogging. Hey Mr 3 First Names and Landlord you guys want to get into some trouble between now and next Monday? I am going to be unsupervised till then. So while I have the wash going on trying to get the Hickory Smoke smell out of them from this past weekend I figure I would post the last of the Mexico pictures, well those that we can recall taking sober.

Isla was a blast, the group we went down with was fun and we had great weather. Oh and we got to see the Cuban Band and I am going on record saying that if Mary Louise goes to see them next Sunday I am going to be really jealous.

IMG_3801Oh I am sure that this is approved in the States at a lot of the job sites.

IMG_3771Poor LZ we had her all confused with the nicknames. “So is he Smoothie, Pepe or what?”

IMG_3777One of these days I am going to get a proper invite instead of having to jump over the fence.

IMG_3753That damn Cuban lead singer made the Future Mrs. Gonzales lose her pants. What goes on in Mexico stays in Mexico.

IMG_3751The Mexican Version of “Mustang Sally” isn’t as good as one would think

IMG_3752Lil Man was getting after it!

IMG_3739It is hard being Carbunkle Trumpet you know? Those 25 Cigars aren’t going to smoke themselves.

IMG_3755Momma L was gettin it as the Cheese Grater Guy was making his rounds.

IMG_3748Sunday in Isla is fun!

IMG_3741I hear that they have good Mediterranean Pizza. I wouldn’t know because my piece was on the fucking floor.

Till Next Time Isla! Maybe we can make a quick trip this winter.

 

So What did you guys do in Isla?

I fielded a bunch of those questions since we got back on Saturday. My canned answer has always been “We hung out, I smoked at least 1 cigar before 10AM each day, and we ate a bunch of good food. Oh and we drank buckets of beer, had a couple “Ernie Mellor’s Specials” and we drank some post sunset Vodka and Sodas.” So here is the real truth about our trip….That is exactly what we did and it was great!

When we were on the ferry over to the island there was a woman who was returning from being in the states. She was chatting up a couple who were asking her where to eat, where to rent a cart, ect. The woman said that she lived on a sailboat behind Oscar’s Pizza place. Naturally I hated this bitch, I mean she lives in about the same square footage as we do but her location is much prettier and more climate friendlier than ours.

This was the 5th trip over to Isla Mujeres; day trip, 3 night trip before meeting up with English Mike, 5 day trip where 9 months later we became God Parents, an overnight trip in December and then this full week trip. Each trip we keep finding that this island is exactly what we need in that we can go there, unwind, eat some good food and laugh about our Monday through Friday lives.

Now I am sure that there are some of you who look at us and say “Why do you keep doing the same thing over and over again?” They say that doing this and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Guess what friends….Isla is what we want. No excursions (well they did go fishing this year) no historic tours, no fancy resorts, and pretty much it is perfect for us. More on this later.

IMG_3799Welcome to the Family Manuel

IMG_3788Shrimp Cocktail in a Sweet Chili Sauce and Lime Juice. It was great!

IMG_3779These two! I tell ya we had a blast with them down there.

IMG_3772Playa North with the fancy boats.

IMG_3763The Future Mrs Manuel Gonzalez was mocking me as I declined a shot of “Mexican Water”

IMG_3737Not our place but this was right next door to our joint.

IMG_3734Margarita and a beer – Lord knows I had a couple of these down there

IMG_3803Like I said the food really sucked down there too

Like I said, we had a good time down in Mexico. More pics to come.

What do you mean I can’t smoke a Cigar on this Fucking Subway?

And we are back from vacation! I will put more down on this worthless dribble of a blog later this week. We got back Saturday night and I pretty much spent all day yesterday getting ready for a busy week. Seriously, while I type this I am getting the stink eye from Mary Louise. Here are just some pictures from this week and I promise to get back on the horse this week.

IMG_3775I smoked at least 2 Cigars before “My Russian Brother from Another Mother” took emails from his favorite former customer. God Bless you S(Squared) for covering for me. The Ribs and Shoulder are on me this Saturday!

IMG_3731These Two having their “Virgin Strawberry Frozen Drinks”

IMG_3733I promise that we were just drinking Lime Juice……That isn’t Salt On those drinks

IMG_3760Then there is this one! Got to love spending time with the Ponzi Scheme first Hurdle!

IMG_3738Who knew that my favorite Breakfast Food Stand was closed on Sunday’s?

IMG_3757Sunday’s really Suck on Isla Mujeres

IMG_3747Still Mad at you RJ for this! We will have another discussion about this again this weekend.

It was a great vacation and even better with great friends and family.

Pictures of the Week

Well we made it to Friday guys! The schools are out for the summer up here so it is officially summer in the North East. This weekend we are excited in the fact that we really don’t have much planned other than a show on Saturday night/Early Sunday morning. Mary Louise told me that she wants to sleep in tomorrow as her ass has been getting up early heading to Penn to catch early trains into New Jersey.

Anyway here are some pictures from the past weeks;

IMG_3495Such a mean woman. Looking out for my best interest so I don’t get my ass fired.

IMG_3480Since we have grills on the 3rd floor I took advantage of them. Honey Ginger Teriyaki marinated Pork Tenderloin that Ernie Mellor of A Moveable Feast/Hog Wild Catering makes.

IMG_3481Hog Wild’s BBQ Shrimp on the grill (they ask that we cook on the foil) very strange if you ask me.

IMG_0428What in the Actual Fuck? Anyone who wears shorts with a suit aka Eddie Munster should have their throat punched. Do you hear me?

IMG_3419Coming up on the 3 year anniversary of us living up here.

IMG_3421When in Times Square

IMG_3423Someone buy my mothers house won’t you? We are jumping the gun and putting her in the Retirement Home with an open Bar. (I am kidding, she is moving near my sister in East Memphis)

IMG_3498A Midtown Uniform Sighting. It was in the mid 80’s that day but douche nozzle felt the need to wear a vest to keep him warm.

IMG_3501I still don’t understand the Pickleback thing

IMG_3500Took her 4 years to finally understand that when I tell her something alcohol related just accept it and don’t ask questions.

IMG_3499If it was only in my size…

Have a good weekend

 

Pictures of the Week

Wow what a week, I am glad that we are here at Friday! Happy early Fathers Day to all you dads out there. Esp to RJ, Will, The Asian, J.K., and I am sure I am missing some others.  Here are some pictures from this past week.

IMG_3409What is this we see in Tina’s Cuban on W56th? Why yes it is a Midtown Uniform. If you are on the IG seek out Midtown Uniform as you will find even in mid June it is perfectly acceptable to wear a vest with your dress clothes. Hey NJ Dave – walk up front and I will act like I am taking a picture of your fancy backpack.

IMG_3411The Wife texts me her flight info so I know how much time I have before I have to shag ass home and clean the house.

IMG_3382Elvis in a Sardine Can

IMG_3383Why yes Vivian Longstreet has a Notorious RBJ candle in her bathroom. We have a sign that asks that you don’t do cocaine.

IMG_3389Why yes there is Natty Light in Brooklyn

IMG_3410God I love messing with Tourists!

IMG_3416Tickets purchased for Mexico – only thing left is for RJ to get a vasectomy so he doesn’t pollenate Val-O-Rie again in Mexico.

Be careful out there folks. Its a Jungle and this Saturday is the Coney Island Mermaid Festival!

 

2016 The Year in Review

Let me start right now and say that 2016 was a great year for the Trumpets. Sure our presidential candidate didn’t win but we didn’t ‘take to the streets’ protesting or putting up post it notes in the Union Square Subway station. If you don’t like the outcome you have one option – Move the Fuck Out!  As far as celebrity deaths; yes we will miss David Bowie, Nancy Reagan, Frank Jr., Prince, Leon Russell, and even Father John Francis Mulcahy but that is the life cycle. We won’t miss Fidel or even Harambe the Gorilla! Ok, enough with my political and current event posts.

2016 was welcomed with Jimmy Buffet and good friends in Brooklyn and it turned out to be a great one. It was great professionally for the both of us and even Mrs. Trumpet is currently (as I type this) studying for her NYU class right now. 2016 found me a permanent home selling tour bus tickets in the Upper East Side with a great team. Hell, I am even now sending money via Vinmo so I guess I am getting hip. We made trips to Belize, Tulum, Isla Mujeres (RJ has heard it both ways), Boston, and even Chicago to see the World Series. I made 3 trips to Memphis and Mrs. Trumpet snuck into Memphis too. There were trips to the other boroughs, trips to Atlantic City to see The Damn Neighbor, Philly, Fayetteville, AR, and Grand Rapids.

One of my former “Daddy’s” (boss) welcomed into the world his first son, my cousin had a girl, the Sparks have a boy with some wild ass hair, my fellow Snookie lover Chelsea & Josh welcomed a child into the world and I am sure I am missing some others. Even my fellow beer soft drinking buddy RJ got something in the water in Mexico and is going to welcome into the world another girl in mid May. That puts more on the line up to help wipe our asses when we get old so kids consider yourself on the Carl Lipbalm Scholarship List since we don’t have kids.

We got to see some really cool shit ish this year too. Have you ever seen 30 inches of Snow? Yea us neither, it was AMAZING! We got to see a guy from Long Island play at Madison Square Garden by the name of William Martin Joel who is the consummate performer. We saw a little America’s Cup Boat Race and even though we didn’t understand it, I hear the US team kicked the shit out of the other teams. I heard that they even said “Bring on Bama” between champagne chugs. I got to finally meet one of my top 5 Chefs when I got the book signed for Ms. Cat Dresser Upper in Dumbo. And we even got some Pool Time in Wantaugh with some friends of ours.

We did some great eating this past year. No I am not going to rehash the trips to Peter Lugar, Blue Hill at Stone Barns, Delmonico, Per Se, or some of those other fancy joints. I am going to talk about some good ole Memphis BBQ that we had at The Boogie Down BBQ in the Bronx with some Memphis Pitmasters. It was a good time this year and we didn’t even have to get another script of Lipitor.

2016 brought us some great friendships that blossomed over this year. I am not going to go over the names because it may confuse you aka THE ASIAN FIREMAN isn’t really ASIAN folks but you know who you are.

Lastly, we survived living on this rock for one year. We Look Back and it has blown by. We look forward to what 2017 brings us. I certainly appreciate the readers and the comments that you have said either on this thing, Facebook or in person. This worthless dibble gives me a chance to categorize and verbalize what is going on in our life. For those of you who got the chance to come visit us we appreciate it and hope to see some more of you this year. 535 square feet isn’t that bad folks, I promise.

Ok, so here are some pictures that probably didn’t make the posts but are funny to say the least.

img_5528Made the trip into Memphis in September and ran into T-Rex’s daddy and LVD. Good Times on South Main.

img_1892Sober as New Orleans Judges. At least Tucker got the smart idea to wear glasses. My dumbass have them on my head.

IMG_1902.JPGPay no attention to Mrs. Trumpet’s cans. This was right before the Grand Rapids Po-Po came by and told us “Creepy Old People” to go inside. I think they were afraid we would break a hip.

img_2045Attention Single Irish Men of Manhattan. This one is making her virgin trip to Manhattan in early April. No she won’t be wearing the monogram tank top, I know that this ‘ish’ don’t fly here.

img_2393Took LZ to the floor of the Stock Exchange because she pretty much saved my ass during my RSP days. Told her about the unwritten rule that on your first visit if the market closes up then you will have good luck for the year. By the way – ask her who is kicking arse in ticket sales to tourists in the Garment District.

img_5539Flew up one of our dog sitters when we went to Belize because a flight was cheaper than boarding them in the UES.

img_1603Maya – “No I am good, I am going to stay here with all those drunk eye-talians around”

img_1757Did you know that people come to New York for their vacation just to sit on line for the ‘chance’ they get a ticket for Hamilton. #poorbastards

img_01212016 was the year of the Coffee Drink! Or as Rock-Mo calls it “that coffee drink with the green stuff on it.”

img_1820I have to admit that the Garden is a pretty fucking cool venue.

img_1659Brother Joel McGraw, FSC wasn’t lying when he made us pray to Our Lady of Victory

img_5537Carbunkle Trumpet, no matter how famous you are with your blog you will never be as famous as this dog. This dog is UGA, the mascot for The University of Georgia Bulldogs.

img_1500My first celeb sighting in the West Village and who is it? Effin Anne Burrell.

Happy New Year, if 2016 wasn’t the best for you then I hope that 2017 is you year. Me, I plan on killing it; professionally, personally and in dive bar conquests.

 

 

 

 

 

CBT Takes on Tulum Mexico!

“You want to get out of town for a couple of days in June?” asked Mrs. Trumpet back in February.
“You going to keep asking me stupid questions? Woman, haven’t I told you that the answer is always that CBT wants another beer and yes he wants to go on a vacation.” this was my my reply before she smacked the crap out of me.

So who is keeping track that in 60 days that we have been south of the border twice, I told you about those horrible New York winters right? #extremesarcam  This trip was to Mexico and to an area that we have never been, Tulum in the Rivera Maya region. We were going to be spending some time with Mrs. CBT’s family that I have not really got to meet and attend a workshop for a couple of hours in the morning. We shagged ass on Thursday morning after leaving the Monkey Heads with plenty of food and water. I am kidding, don’t be calling the ACPCA on our asses, we have “a girl” who tends to the Monkey Heads and she is highly recommendable.

We flew out of Newark International and let me tell you folks, CBT is starting to become spoiled with these direct flights. 3hours and 30 minutes later our lily white asses were in Cancun Airport and on a Chicken Bus heading to Tulum. The resort we stayed at was the Kore Tulum and it is a smaller resort that is adult only. I am liking the smaller boutique resorts, sure there are cons to a smaller joint but there is something to be said for not having to fight with a tourist from Italy over a freaking sun lounger at 6AM. The food was good, the drink was plentiful, well until they ran out of beer. Let me type that again if you are still reading this worthless dribble; THEY FUCKING RAN OUT OF BEER! But it was on the last night and they still had Vodka and White Wine.

Overall it was a great trip, we met some new friends who live on the Left Coast, the workshop got our minds right for this year and we got some much needed sun on these bones.

IMG_1342The resort from the sea wall. Sadly this joint doesn’t have a proper beach but a 5 dollar cab ride and that was resolved. 200 Guests max is what were told.

IMG_1343Tastes Just Like Chicken I hear!

IMG_1346The View Did Not Suck!

IMG_1348Tulum’s Version of Home Depot in Town

IMG_1349This is the Mexican version of our friend’s Maria favorite bike food delivery service here in New York “The Chirping Chicken”

IMG_1352Paradise Beach – Remember those Corona Commercials? This is where they say it was filmed and photographed.

IMG_1353Another View of the Beach – Very quiet on a Sunday. Oh wait there was a general election that day.

IMG_1355Nice Joint, if we make it down that far again, we will come back.

IMG_1358Here is Christian serving us the Last Beer out of what else….a quart!

IMG_1359The Australian’s got nervous when they heard the resort was out of beer. This is when the panic ensued.

IMG_1363This did not end well folks.

IMG_1365Last picture on my iFoam that night for some reason.

You want to really hate me? Only 72 more days till we go back down to Mexico!