Monkey head Maya

Back in the Saddle

Sorry for no posts last week. It was a tough week for us. We had to get the Little Bastid off to School and being off for a couple days put us behind. Not much I can really report from the Dale Hollow trip. That sucker was full of Non Disclosure agreements and “don’t post this on Social Media” comments. But lets be honest. If weren’t there you probably wouldn’t think that shit was that funny anyway.

I will be back at my normal self this week. Oh and welcome to my newer readers. More on that.

First Day of 5th Grade 3.0
I hear that Alabama will rebuild.
Happy 7th Birthday to this fluff ball! Hopefully you can take it easy today.

And if your football team didn’t win this weekend I hope your beer was at least cold.

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What is up with the picture of the baby Elvi?

I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?

  • Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
  • Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
  • Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.

I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.

I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.

Maya prefers to be sitting in a lap getting petted. Don’t we all?
Don’t worry Dad, I will protect the Cheese Cooler
The Jar-Man used to say that the sunsets over beautiful West Memphis Arkansas. I guess we can say it sets over beautiful New Jersey
Wonder what asshole lives in that tall as building? I understand from Mr. 3 First Names that my view of the Empire State Building is about to change.
That doesn’t suck. Oh and I found out that The Bobcat and Professor were married in that church to the left of the row houses.

Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.

Pictures of The Week

Had a great week. That was until Geranium decided to shame my ass on having a slight salt addition. This weekend will be brief as she has to leave on Sunday for Seattle. However next Saturday we are going to the Red Neck Rivera.

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN TALKING ABOUT MY SALT COLLECTION! (Thankfully she doesn’t read this worthless dribble) In all seriousness I laughed my ass off. So I buy salt. At least I don’t buy cigars…..er oh well.
The Dog hid after that spirited arguement
Speaking of Cigars
The heat wasn’t like it was in the South but the Humidity was high AF!
Played some Dominoes last weekend.

By the way did you go buy Rebecca Coutant’s book yet?

Have a good weekend, if it is nice today we may be in the UES atop the Met Museum.

Pictures of the Week…And Last Week Too!

*Disclaimer – I am preloading this on Wednesday night so next week my stuff will be more current.

Hey Nice Graffiti!
We sat at the bar and watched Skillet do this for about 30 minutes. My question was – “How the F Did he get there and how did he get off?”
I took this pic because the beer was good at the Mead festival!
A Gin Tonic and a Guinness? They have Irish bars in Switzerland? Yes they do!
Meant to show this to Mr. 3 First Names on Tuesday night.
Love me this dive bar. They have The Queen on the wall!
This won’t hurt will it?
Alabama and their abortions – This is my retort.
The Half Head CBT/Geranium Selfie!
Taco Girl. I got you a bouquet of balloons.

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!

Snow In New York

We had some snow a couple of weeks back that took me by surprise. Actually that isn’t true, it took everyone by surprise. What was supposed to be a light dusting actually turned into about 6 inches in the city and over a foot upstate and in Westchester & Rockland Counties. Mary Louise was out of town in Japan (recall this POST) so it was me and the dog. I learned something about the loss of Monkey Head Maddy when it snows. Maddy didn’t really care about snow and would plow through it with reckless abandon and Maya would follow her steps. It appears that Maya is a fancy girl and does’t like snow on her undercarriage. 

I can’t really blame her but my dumbass was wearing probably the worst shoes next to flip flops when all of the snow hit. Rubber soled driving shoes. Yep my commute back to Downtown Brooklyn was wet sock filled.  The snow wasn’t just bad on my subway commute. My boss took her over 7 hours to get home and one of my work co-horts took 4 hours getting home. Thankfully the snow was melted by Friday morning and Flights got back to normal by Saturday for Mary Louise’s arrival home. 

Taken about 3:00PM
Taken about 4:30PM and you can see the snow is on the roads now. 
My shoes are already moist (don’t you just love that word) and I have a substantial snow storm to trek home in. I might as well enjoy my Cigar from my current perch. 
Thanks a Lot Uber. Way to Stick it to the folks. This is normally a $30.00 cab ride home. 
Beware of the Slushy Water. I had to George Costanza Jump to clear this. 
Like a Beacon in the Harbor My Favorite Store Was Open. I didn’t really need anything but you can bet your sweet ass I bought something.
No idea that what she is in for
Where is that White Dog when I need her. This sucks! 
Make a Deal with you. I promise not to pee in the house if you promise not to bring my ass down here again. 

Trust me when I hear that they forecast snow my ass will be wearing correct shoes. 

Pictures of the Week

Wow what a week, I am glad that we are here at Friday! Happy early Fathers Day to all you dads out there. Esp to RJ, Will, The Asian, J.K., and I am sure I am missing some others.  Here are some pictures from this past week.

IMG_3409What is this we see in Tina’s Cuban on W56th? Why yes it is a Midtown Uniform. If you are on the IG seek out Midtown Uniform as you will find even in mid June it is perfectly acceptable to wear a vest with your dress clothes. Hey NJ Dave – walk up front and I will act like I am taking a picture of your fancy backpack.

IMG_3411The Wife texts me her flight info so I know how much time I have before I have to shag ass home and clean the house.

IMG_3382Elvis in a Sardine Can

IMG_3383Why yes Vivian Longstreet has a Notorious RBJ candle in her bathroom. We have a sign that asks that you don’t do cocaine.

IMG_3389Why yes there is Natty Light in Brooklyn

IMG_3410God I love messing with Tourists!

IMG_3416Tickets purchased for Mexico – only thing left is for RJ to get a vasectomy so he doesn’t pollenate Val-O-Rie again in Mexico.

Be careful out there folks. Its a Jungle and this Saturday is the Coney Island Mermaid Festival!