New York

FDNY Emerald Society Pipes and Drums Prom

Unless you have been living under a rock you would know that we know a couple “guys” in the band. We have been known to run into them at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel for events and even on the banks of the Mississippi River. A couple of weeks back when we went to Boulud Sud with the Murphranks afterwards we went for drinks. During our discussion on the lack of Irish Bars in Manhattan (inside joke) we we decided to book a couple seats at the forenamed title’s prom.

The event was in Flushing Queens which if you didn’t know is also where the US Open Tennis tournament was being held. Drinks and light apps were held in one room while we were treated to a very nice 3 course meal with wine service. Oh and naturally there was open bar service that could sedate a small village. Thanks to Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister for the invite. We had a blast hanging at the table and felt like a Mac Truck hit us on Saturday too!

IMG_1597Very Nice Invitation as compared to an evite or group text

IMG_1613You got to have the boys play the pipes and beat on the drums

IMG_1603Meanwhile Rafa was kicking the absolute shit out of DelPotro on the Arthur Ashe Court

IMG_1604The iconic World Fair Display from back in the day.

IMG_1643Not sure what is going on here but I had no idea that Skippy was so ‘folically challenged’

IMG_1647My wife Forever the Band Geek!

 

IMG_1640Liam and the boys/executive committee

IMG_1638The founding members of the FDNY Emerald Society

IMG_1654Like I said, it was a good night as we found this on the nightstand Saturday Morning!

It was good to see everybody and have everyone dressed up too!

 

 

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Be kind to each other this weekend.

Taking my ish on the road this weekend. I may be hooked up to the last picture by the time you finish reading this.

img_0348I ‘know’ a guy who has the same name and it didn’t get me anywhere on National Margarita Day!

img_0345So that is why traffic is jacked up

img_0343Not sure what they were shooting but it wasn’t Law & Order. Sorry A Cup

img_0185Funeral Mass procession

img_0189Me – “You got an Asian Fireman working today?” Fireman who about pissed himself because I ripped open the back door – “That Sorry SOB hasn’t worked in forever. He must be on the AB plan!”

img_0361Thanks to little baby sister for the V-Day gift. Better than a gold dipped rose!

vodkaGood thing I know a Baby Nurse and a Spinal Nurse who live downtown. They can hook me up to this Friday afternoon. I would ask my wife but her ass left me for Mickey Mouse !

Have a good weekend!

2016 The Year in Review

Let me start right now and say that 2016 was a great year for the Trumpets. Sure our presidential candidate didn’t win but we didn’t ‘take to the streets’ protesting or putting up post it notes in the Union Square Subway station. If you don’t like the outcome you have one option – Move the Fuck Out!  As far as celebrity deaths; yes we will miss David Bowie, Nancy Reagan, Frank Jr., Prince, Leon Russell, and even Father John Francis Mulcahy but that is the life cycle. We won’t miss Fidel or even Harambe the Gorilla! Ok, enough with my political and current event posts.

2016 was welcomed with Jimmy Buffet and good friends in Brooklyn and it turned out to be a great one. It was great professionally for the both of us and even Mrs. Trumpet is currently (as I type this) studying for her NYU class right now. 2016 found me a permanent home selling tour bus tickets in the Upper East Side with a great team. Hell, I am even now sending money via Vinmo so I guess I am getting hip. We made trips to Belize, Tulum, Isla Mujeres (RJ has heard it both ways), Boston, and even Chicago to see the World Series. I made 3 trips to Memphis and Mrs. Trumpet snuck into Memphis too. There were trips to the other boroughs, trips to Atlantic City to see The Damn Neighbor, Philly, Fayetteville, AR, and Grand Rapids.

One of my former “Daddy’s” (boss) welcomed into the world his first son, my cousin had a girl, the Sparks have a boy with some wild ass hair, my fellow Snookie lover Chelsea & Josh welcomed a child into the world and I am sure I am missing some others. Even my fellow beer soft drinking buddy RJ got something in the water in Mexico and is going to welcome into the world another girl in mid May. That puts more on the line up to help wipe our asses when we get old so kids consider yourself on the Carl Lipbalm Scholarship List since we don’t have kids.

We got to see some really cool shit ish this year too. Have you ever seen 30 inches of Snow? Yea us neither, it was AMAZING! We got to see a guy from Long Island play at Madison Square Garden by the name of William Martin Joel who is the consummate performer. We saw a little America’s Cup Boat Race and even though we didn’t understand it, I hear the US team kicked the shit out of the other teams. I heard that they even said “Bring on Bama” between champagne chugs. I got to finally meet one of my top 5 Chefs when I got the book signed for Ms. Cat Dresser Upper in Dumbo. And we even got some Pool Time in Wantaugh with some friends of ours.

We did some great eating this past year. No I am not going to rehash the trips to Peter Lugar, Blue Hill at Stone Barns, Delmonico, Per Se, or some of those other fancy joints. I am going to talk about some good ole Memphis BBQ that we had at The Boogie Down BBQ in the Bronx with some Memphis Pitmasters. It was a good time this year and we didn’t even have to get another script of Lipitor.

2016 brought us some great friendships that blossomed over this year. I am not going to go over the names because it may confuse you aka THE ASIAN FIREMAN isn’t really ASIAN folks but you know who you are.

Lastly, we survived living on this rock for one year. We Look Back and it has blown by. We look forward to what 2017 brings us. I certainly appreciate the readers and the comments that you have said either on this thing, Facebook or in person. This worthless dibble gives me a chance to categorize and verbalize what is going on in our life. For those of you who got the chance to come visit us we appreciate it and hope to see some more of you this year. 535 square feet isn’t that bad folks, I promise.

Ok, so here are some pictures that probably didn’t make the posts but are funny to say the least.

img_5528Made the trip into Memphis in September and ran into T-Rex’s daddy and LVD. Good Times on South Main.

img_1892Sober as New Orleans Judges. At least Tucker got the smart idea to wear glasses. My dumbass have them on my head.

IMG_1902.JPGPay no attention to Mrs. Trumpet’s cans. This was right before the Grand Rapids Po-Po came by and told us “Creepy Old People” to go inside. I think they were afraid we would break a hip.

img_2045Attention Single Irish Men of Manhattan. This one is making her virgin trip to Manhattan in early April. No she won’t be wearing the monogram tank top, I know that this ‘ish’ don’t fly here.

img_2393Took LZ to the floor of the Stock Exchange because she pretty much saved my ass during my RSP days. Told her about the unwritten rule that on your first visit if the market closes up then you will have good luck for the year. By the way – ask her who is kicking arse in ticket sales to tourists in the Garment District.

img_5539Flew up one of our dog sitters when we went to Belize because a flight was cheaper than boarding them in the UES.

img_1603Maya – “No I am good, I am going to stay here with all those drunk eye-talians around”

img_1757Did you know that people come to New York for their vacation just to sit on line for the ‘chance’ they get a ticket for Hamilton. #poorbastards

img_01212016 was the year of the Coffee Drink! Or as Rock-Mo calls it “that coffee drink with the green stuff on it.”

img_1820I have to admit that the Garden is a pretty fucking cool venue.

img_1659Brother Joel McGraw, FSC wasn’t lying when he made us pray to Our Lady of Victory

img_5537Carbunkle Trumpet, no matter how famous you are with your blog you will never be as famous as this dog. This dog is UGA, the mascot for The University of Georgia Bulldogs.

img_1500My first celeb sighting in the West Village and who is it? Effin Anne Burrell.

Happy New Year, if 2016 wasn’t the best for you then I hope that 2017 is you year. Me, I plan on killing it; professionally, personally and in dive bar conquests.

 

 

 

 

 

What we do on the Weekends

Sorry about getting sidetracked, we had the 4 day holiday weekend and getting back into the swing of things can be hard. So when I last left you I was telling my 6 readers about  What we do Monday – Friday. Yep we live the cutting edge lifestyle up here on this island I tell you. Sadly the weekend isn’t all “Eyes Wide Shut” parties or big expensive dinners at fancy Michelin 3 star restaurants (well….check back after December 17th) and endless champagne brunches.

Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t sitting on the couch in our flannel PJ’s watching Lifetime movies eating frosting from the can. *Not that there is anything wrong with it mind you* The weekends are more relax, take it easy, get some ish done, spend time with our friends who we don’t see as much as we should, and in Momma’s case get a little studying done. Typically a Saturday goes like this;

  • Dry cleaning dropped off, run to a store that carries X that can’t be purchased via Amazon, Jet.com or the interweb.
  • Breakfast for me consists of a Salt Bagel with Bacon Cream Cheese (why do you think I take Lipitor) and watch all the dad’s pushing the strollers down the street so that their respective wives can take a break.
  • I am sure that I will make a trip to the Cigar Inn at least once during the weekend.
  • Errands for the Monkey Heads if needed (wash and cut with our favorite Willie Nelson music loving Russian Groomer)
  • Typically we try to go see/do something new in the city.
  • If we have a dinner or drinks planned with someone I am sure a nap may be needed. It is after all rude to yawn at the dinner table.
  • We make it a point to have either drinks or dinner with our friends to catch up. Like I have said many times before. It is different here in New York as compared to Memphis in that spontaneous get together’s are not as common here.

Sunday’s are typically a repeat of Saturday but with the exception of that we may do a little bit of Sunday Funday at a Dive Bar. This hasn’t been done in a while because we have been busy but there is always this weekend. A lot of this depends on Mrs. Trumpet’s studying and how many naps she got in on Saturday. Yeah I probably am going to get some crap for that comment but she doesn’t read this worthless dribble anyway.

So sorry to disappoint our readers but we kinda live boring lives. Well with the exception that we could visit a different bar each day of the week and never hit a repeat. That doesn’t suck at all.

IMG_1777It really doesn’t look like an island till you are on the water

IMG_1528My dress shirts and suits take a beating up here, I tell you!

IMG_1564I liked Marissa at first because she didn’t charge 300+ for a trim and wash. The Willie Nelson Fan is a bonus I tell you!

kitchenThere is nothing better than talking about ‘little people’ at the dinner table while eating white truffle risotto right Meg?

IMG_0881I could fill up an entire page of dive bar pics but I will only choose one. This one is one of my favorite joints.

IMG_0409No Katie, I won’t send you any Bagels, bring yo arse up here and get your own.

Have a good day. I am off to stand on line to watch them light up the tree in Rockefeller Plaza tonight. Look for me!

 

Know what is worse than a Stomach Virus?

Sorry to my 6 readers for the long delay in posts. When I last left you we were celebrating 1 full year on this rock. Then Mrs. Trumpet and I headed over to Grand Rapids for a long weekend. We had a great time and I am sure I will pen about that later but when we got back on Monday afternoon we fell ill.

Oh, the answer to the question in the title about what is worse than a stomach virus? It is when BOTH CBT and Mrs. CBT catch it and we are fighting over a 535 square foot apartment with one bathroom! Thankfully things are settling down right now and albeit I may never look at Chinese take out again (last meal before the purge) and we hope to back to 100% by the weekend. I will at least get one post out tomorrow before the weekend. We are not going anywhere this weekend as the Monkey Heads want some mommy and daddy time.

For those in Memphis please enjoy Dead Elvis Week! That is the most glorious time to be a Memphian if you ask me! And for my fellow New Yorkers who are braving this swamp ass humidity…Welcome to what Memphis feels like from June to late August.

 

What a weekend

So this one is probably going to go over the heads of a lot of Memphians because to understand this you have to be here. It is hotter than 3 rats screwing in a wool sock in this city. The humidity that we have here is not like that of Memphis because the dew point isn’t as high as it is down south hence your glasses don’t fog up when you walk outside. Still I am stinking up suits sweating my ass off like its nobody’s business. You add the residual build up of heat from the buildings, sidewalks, and streets….well you get the picture, it is SWAMP ASS Hot!  I wondered why everyone heads out of town each weekend during the summer and I finally get it. It is actually cooler when you get off of this rock called Manhattan.

Saturday we headed back to Wantagh Long Island for Round 2 of the Fish. You remember The Fish don’t you? Well our host prepared even a bigger one this time around. As we were hanging out I noticed that it wasn’t as humid as they claimed it would be but was informed that because of a thing called grass it is actually cooler in Long Island. The bad is that when it is winter it is noticeably colder so it is a trade off. It actually was nice sitting outside for the entire afternoon because the temps were much cooler and there was zero humidity.  All those Jones & Rockaway beach people have this shit figured out. Anybody got a house we can crash at in the Hamptons? Murphranks & Asian Fireman you want to go to Long Island for a wine tasting to escape this Hot as Balls weather?

IMG_1765Are you fecking kidding me? My Ex Work Wife, Amy Farrah Fowler, knows my thoughts on Gluten Free and Vegans. #shittyhunter

IMG_1762An Atheist, a Crossfitter and a Vegan are all sitting at a bar….
….and I only know this because they won’t shut the f*ck about it.

IMG_1764She was not happy that Peppers won the “Who wore it Better” contest.

IMG_1807Here is the Before Picture.

IMG_1806Here is the After!!!

 Thanks to RP & MC for the hospitality.

 

The Boogie Down BBQ on World Famous 236th Street!

You have probably heard me reference my friend RJ who lives in Memphis. RJ was originally from Pennsylvania but moved to Crime-Free Memphis as he wanted to be a shuttle driver at Graceland. RJ found himself a great woman (Let me rephrase that, Mallory, his wife,  is an effin saint) and they lived behind our house in South Bluffs. When we decided to sell Bar 595 he and Mallory bought it after we suckered hard sold JL (not Angry JL the one who can’t ride the majority of the rides at Disneyworld) into buying the house on Madewood to make the Ponzi scheme work. RJ’s best friend is the Asian Fireman and a whole bunch of other players who live near and around our vicinity. The Asian Fireman would come down each year for Memphis in May BBQfest so naturally they got the indirect smoking fever and sure enough some stick burners smokers have been purchased and reside in the Bronx and Glenside Pennsylvania.

A couple of years back the idea of The Boogie Down BBQ was born and a bunch of  Memphians headed up to 236th street and took over the house when the Asian Fireman’s wife was pregnant with C-Man. Can you believe we cooked all the food on just one smoker and a grill for 40 people?  After a trip to Glenside last year we headed back to 236th street and we were expecting a hungry crowd of 100 invited guests. We had 3 smokers and the grill and the menu included; Pork Shoulder, Baby Back Ribs, Spare Ribs, Beef Brisket, Beef Ribs, Chicken, Red Snapper and BBQ Nachos. The crowd came hungry and we delivered. A good time was had by all.

IMG_1718We must have elected a new Pope last weekend. Like a million of them

IMG_1717Prepping the Ribs

IMG_1719Loading the Smoker with Championship Ribs

IMG_1729Good to see Butchie who was in town for the day.

IMG_1732Me – “Um I smell something burning.” Asian Fireman – “Carbunkle, you need to lay off the sauce, there isn’t anything burning.” Me – “You were saying…..”

IMG_1710Pepe bossing us around from the chair

IMG_1708My buddy RJ, can’t wait to hoist a couple Cerveza’s down in Mexico!

IMG_1734The Spread for Dinner Service.

13697082_10154377130171214_6349630965306790063_nThe Backwood’s Smoker ish smoker. I could so use this sucker down on First Avenue.

13707714_10154377130246214_6399415964770970517_nBrisket’s being sliced.

IMG_1733Little Baby Priscilla Presley H is going to be the cutest girl in the Convent till she is 25!

It was a good time and I am glad to be enjoying some dinner that isn’t Hickory Smoked.

 

 

 

 

 

“We are in! Now where is this place?”

One thing that I find really neat about this island is that there is great pride for your neighborhood. Upper East, Hell’s Kitchen, Tribeca, Little Italy, SoHo, Upper West Side, Greenwich Village, I could go on for pages but it’s great that everyone has an opinion on the best neighborhood to live. As you know, we live in the Upper East Side solely because of the location to Mrs. Trumpet’s work joint. If we were to have it all over again, who knows where we would live.

One part of town that we haven’t really visited or frequented much would be the many of the joints on the Upper West Side (North of 59th Street west of Central Park) but it’s not for lack of trying. For one, because of our location near the middle of the park, the only way to transgress the park is via bus or constitutional yo ass over there via foot. Sadly, no subway will cross the park near our location so I guess that is my excuse. Well all that ended this past Sunday. A friend of ours messaged me saying that they were going over to watch the sunset at the 79th Street Boat Basin and if we wanted to join them. Let’s see; a sunset, cold beer, a full service restaurant and this joint is on the water? Giddy Up, we were in!  I inform Mrs. Trumpet that we would be spending the afternoon with Z squared and her comment was classic Mrs. CBT; “Great, but now where is this place?”  We grabbed an Uber and even the driver inquired if we knew where this joint was so we told him to head west on 79th street and stop when we get to water.

I have to admit that sitting on the terrace watching the boats on the Hudson, this place is really cool. You quickly forget you are in New York. The Boat basin for those of you wondering is a large marina where boats are actually allowed to be stored year round. It overlooks the Hudson river and was the scene of where Tom Hanks kept his boat during “You have got mail” and was used during the filming of “9 1/2 weeks”. A very popular place to watch the sunset and hang out. We shall be back.

NYC%20neighborhood%20mapHere is a map of Manhattan for those of you who needed a reference point

IMG_1490So this is what comes up on Google Maps when you wish to find out where the Boat Basin is located

IMG_1478Huge Rotunda for private events and fun stuff.

IMG_1480Oh yeah, this place  is cool!

IMG_1479Popular place to hang out for Upper West Side folks.

IMG_1481Under the Rotunda and ‘out of the sun for those pale face folks

IMG_1482This does not suck at all! Sadly I lost out on the placement of where Mr. Sol would land so I was out a buck. Hey I knew that if everyone bet the same spot what is the fun in that. Thanks to our friends for the invite, we shall be back.

For those of you wondering how to compare it to M-Town. You remember when F “Red Shorts” W had that house overlooking the river? Seriously this is pretty sweet.

 

 

Funny Thing Happened at Work 1 Year Ago

“Carbunkle Trumpet there is a phone call for you.” stated the office manager who was eating bon-bons and drinking “coffee” that smelled of Kahlua *Oh I am so going to take some shit for that one*

Me – “Hello, this is CBT, what do you want?”

Mrs. CBT – “You always answer the phone that way?” *editor’s note – it is very uncommon for me to get a phone call from Mrs. CBT during the day. Text yes but phone call means something is up.

Me – “I saw your number on the caller ID and it was from your work. What’s up? You don’t normally call me in the office, who died?”

Mrs. CBT – “I was calling you to tell you to turn in your 2 week notice to EM, I got the job in New York City!”

Me – *butthole clinches a little tighter upon hearing those words “You mean the job that you just interviewed for and they said it would be 2 weeks before they made their decision?”

Mrs. CBT – “Yep!”

And there it is folks. One year to the date that this whole adventure began. I look back and still I can’t believe it has flown by that quick. From accepting the position to getting our apartment the next day, which was paramount I might add. Then telling all of our friends and family that we were “moving on up to the Upper East Side” and finding a renter for our joint on South Main. Let’s don’t forget that 1600-mile journey with me, momma and a poodle in a U-Haul that had a restrictor plate on it so we could only go 75 miles per hour to now current day. It has literally flown by. I look back on this time and still pinch myself because we certainly have accomplished a lot and I say beat the odds.

Backing up some – If you were to ask me 6 years ago when I was at a very low point in my life that could I ever see myself living in New York City, I would have told you that you were crazier than hell. I had just finished working as a carnie for MIM and went back to being unemployed but yet still had bills to pay. In those 6 years; we both made career changes, the wife got diagnosed and then kicked the shit out of breast cancer, we downsized into a condo and then we uprooted it again and moved to the city that never sleeps. Wow! That is some crazy shit you know?  This road has been bumpy at times but if you were to ask the both of us if we would do it over again I know the answer would be yes. At least for me, I bet that momma would like to avoid all that chemo and neuropathy stuff.

You have heard me reference my US friends who live in Belize and St. Thomas and how I have always admired them for what they did by moving to an island. They left the comfort of home, their friends and went down a path that wasn’t so worn. I have a deep admiration for two special friends down in Belize and their story. These two ladies left Indianapolis, left family, children & friends and started all over again in a foreign country to run a Bed and Breakfast. We met them a number of years back and have become great friends and try to see each other at least once a year. #FuckShobo (inside joke)

It wasn’t until we received an email from RDD or Shuffles that they admired what we did and how our move to New York was very similar to them when they moved to Ambergris Caye Island. I recalled looking at those words and it then hit me “Shit, why didn’t we find an employer that Momma could work for in the topics?” I am kidding by the way. I really was honored and respected those words. I never really thought about it like that.

There are a couple of you who have asked me why I refer to NYC as “that island called Manhattan” it for the above reason. We went out on a limb together and stuck our big toe in a very big pool of water. I can say that this experience has been exhilarating and scary at the same time for the both of us. Much like our friends in Belize it brought us closer to each other and made us better people.

Changing gears now – The first two months that we were living here we would both say to each other “I can’t believe that we live here in New York!” It wasn’t until the third month that it changed into “Why the Fuck didn’t we do this sooner!” Sure there are a ton of things that we miss by moving away from friends and family and it hasn’t always been smiles and dive bars. There have been some tears shed along this path but (I promise I am getting to my point) what are you waiting for? Why not do something as we say at work “Let’s turn this bitch on its head and see what happens?” I am not suggesting you move to a different city on whim, but start small instead. I am challenging you to do what you have always wondered “What if?” Let’s be honest, we all know the worst thing that can happen is that you fail. But if never try then do you always fail?

I will end this deep Hallmark post of a blog with the words of Steve Buscemi from Con Air; “Insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting different results.” Go do something insane folks, who knows what will happen.

FullSizeRender_1I do love that woman! Even if I have to stand on a curb to see eye to eye with her!

IMG_0579And that night a friendship was born. Love you RDD and Shuffles!

IMG_0580I mean seriously Mrs. CBT – Why couldn’t you get a job on this island for me to sell my wares? Is that a FedEx drop box I see next to that Palapa?

mugNipped this off the internet and it speaks volumes.

What are you waiting for?

 

 

Try the Tongue!

Back when I made my first visit to New York as an adult we were here to celebrate Mrs. Trumpet’s 30th birthday. On that visit we made a trip to the Carnegie Deli on 7th Avenue. I don’t remember much about that trip but I did remember when the Woody Allen sandwich came out and was placed on our table. Literally it was 2 full sandwiches and was piled high with Pastrami and Corned Beef. When we moved up here back in August the first thing we did was make sure we ate was at a proper Jewish Deli. Yes, I went with a  pastrami, salami, and corned beef sandwich. If you have never had one of these sandwiches then you really don’t know what you are missing. We have not eaten at Carnegie since it has reopened and will probably will wait till we have someone in town and need to play tour guide. I have tried a couple of joints up here so far; Ben’s, Pastrami Queen, Barney Greengrass, and right around the corner from is Second Avenue Deli. No we have not had Russ & Daughters or Katz’s and they are on the list so lay off Maria, I can see the finger poking :).

Saturday I was at the Cigar joint and one of the guys ordered a sandwich from 2nd Avenue and it looked damn good. The wife was heading back into town from a day trip to New Jersey and I was hungry so I swung by and picked up a sandwich. While I was there they gave me a couple samples of Pastrami and Corned Beef and I knew that I was in for a treat. I get the 3 pound sandwich and make my way home. Let me put this in words that you can understand. If I had a good Jewish deli in Memphis growing up and got introduced to pastrami and corned beef that is that good, I may have become a Jew. Right now RAB is snorting coffee  through her nose.

IMG_4385All the spreads and fish for the Bagels

IMG_4386I am sure this is healty

IMG_4389You have to have a Black and White Cookie

Oy Vey they serve some good food there and they don’t screw you on the half sour pickles.