NYPD

Pictures that I have had in my foam

I have had these pictures on my foam for about 2 weeks so I wanted to share with you some good ones. Then again some aren’t that great.

IMG_1970Made a trip to Park Slope in Brooklyn with the Murphranks. We decided to head to a Brooklyn Institution called Farrell’s. They serve beer in 32oz Styrofoam containers.

IMG_197132 ounces of Ice Cold Bud Light – You can’t beat that with a stick I tell you!

IMG_19636’9″ Fraternity Brother sent me this picture of an old ass sign hanging at a Duck Camp in Arkansas. I never visited that joint.

IMG_1974Can you imagine getting pulled over by this little arse car? Talk about embarrassment.

IMG_1981Got to get some “Street Meat” by our apartment. Sadly this guy’s offering suck, we should have headed to 6th and 57th for a proper Street Meat meal!

IMG_1982Yo Holmes, I want Extra Hot Sauce – aka butt burn….

Have a good day!

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So Where Are You From? Oh and GFP!!!

I do it every friggin time. It is a force of habit that I do when trying to establish a “common ground” with someone new. When I ask the question I sound like Kent “Flounder” Dorfman from “Animal House” when he asks the guys playing cards if they were playing cards. What question I ask you wonder; “So where are you from?” That isn’t so bad but here is the deal, I have no fucking idea where anything is up here or even which state it is located in! “So you live in Canarsie?” Hell, I don’t know if that is in New York, New Jersey or Connecticut. Wait, where the Feck is Connecticut?  How the hell do I get there? I realize that you are probably laughing but seriously, if it isn’t in the borough of Manhattan, it might as well be next to Senatobia Mississippi because I have not a clue. Yet, I keep asking and look like a dumbass.

hqdefaultFor those of you wondering who I am talking about, that fat dude wearing the tie is Kent Dorfman, he is a legacy from Harrisburg!

Thankfully all that came to a screeching halt back when we did that fancy dinner at Per Se back in December. I was seated next to fellow nugget stalker MC and, like a dumbass, I asked her where she lived. MC looked at me and said that she lived in Long Island City over in Queens. I am thinking to myself “Hell, I know where that is, that is where we took the U-Haul truck back in August. By the way – Shout out to Mrs. Trumpet and I for living on this rock for 11 months.

Back to the story, so MC sends us an email a couple of weeks back inviting us to her joint in Long Island City to view the Fourth of July fireworks from her apartment. I tell her that we would be thrilled and because I was raised in the south, I inquire if Mrs. Trumpet can make anything for the party. “Just show up” was her comment and she sent us directions on how to get to her place. So Monday afternoon we head over to catch the train to Grand Central where we have to catch the 7 train but rather than heading west we head east to Queens. MC’s work joint is exactly one train stop on the 7 line and a short walk to the Vernon street station.

We got over to Queens a tad early on Monday and find a local watering hole to have a couple beers and wait for Mrs. Murphrank. You see Mr. 3 First names was in Cali for ‘work’ so JAM was flying solo. We collectively walk to the address and I notice that we are really getting close to the East River. We walk into her lobby and find out way to the elevator. We get off on the 9th floor and make our way towards the end of the hall. We ring the doorbell and MC greets us and naturally offers us a drink and tells us to make ourselves at home. I walk into the living room and guess who has a direct view of the East River and the United Nations!! MC’s joint is amazing!

We hang out and enjoy some food and drinks and when I say that the vantage point from MC’s apartment to watch the fireworks is top 5 trust me! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and made our way home to grab some shut eye. Yeah, the fireworks lasted 25 minutes and were shot off of 5 barges and some 56,000 shells. I hear it was the biggest and best show NYC had ever seen, I can’t complain one bit. Now I won’t bore you a bunch of pictures of the fireworks, mainly because my cell-u-mar-foam battery crapped out but I assure you the view was KILLER! Thank you MC, Thank you, Thank you!!!

IMG_1626The boats in the Hudson had to keep their distance from the barges. I am glad we chose MC’s place rather than NONE of our friends who have a boat because it did spritz a tad before the show.

IMG_1623The View really bites you know? #extremesarcasm

IMG_1627When we do drive along FDR I see the Pepsi Sign and always wondered who lives in those high rises.

IMG_1624Oh look the FDNY boys are playing with their Fire Boat.

IMG_1630Like I said, the view was killer! Those barges are three of the 5 barges!

IMG_1629The  NYPD Navy was out in full force.

IMG_1631The Empire State Building put on a great light show as well.

IMG_1628What am I 9 years old? 2 days in a row squishing heads? Grow the F up!

 

Seriously, a huge shout out  to MC for the invite and it was nice meeting her boyfriend who has been away. We need to get together and not just for fancy Foodie Dinners either!

 

File this away as “Oh Hell Naw, you didn’t!”

Sorry it is cropped, I am not that great at stealing pics off the internet

Ah, springtime in New York City. The days are getting longer, the cherry blossoms at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden are blossoming, and the disgusting subway perverts are emerging from the shadows to take stealth photos of your underwear. Greatest city in the world!

According to a new ad campaign from the Manhattan District Attorney’s office, the NYPD is cracking down on “upskirting” just in time for the weather to get warm enough to go tights-less. The D.A. has released a slew of ads meant to raise awareness about the creepy dudes in places like Union Square and Grand Central who sneakily take photos up women’s skirts. 

Photo: New York County District Attorney’s Office

Photo: New York County District Attorney’s Office

Photo: New York County District Attorney’s Office

Are shitting me? I was going to go with a post today about Greenwich Village but I had to fire up the Commodore 64 and bang this out this morning. I mean this bothers me on about 3 different levels;

  1. You mean to tell me that the District Attorney’s office of the state of New York has an ad campaign warning women about be on the lookout for perverts? Oh well I remember when Memphis had the “Say to No to just the tip” billboard campaign in Frasier about teenage pregnancy. Still this really is creepy.
  2. Ok, I get that you there is some woman who is going to wear a short skirt in the work environment but why in the hell do you disclose the areas that are prone to catch views of up skirts? Just put some extra police presence in those areas and catch the smart phone wielding perverts.
  3. You mean to tell me that if I encounter a dude with a camera on his shoe taking pics up a skirt I can’t “help him cross the street” into an oncoming cross town bus? And deep down I hope that ‘said’ bus backs up a couple times? (kind of a 180 from a guy who talked about Karma but it is after all election day)

So I guess I now have to add this to my list of ‘subway bingo’ that I play in my head on a daily basis. I recall way back in the day back when I was 5 foot 6 inches tall (still current height) and in the 7th grade. There was one of my classmates who would either ‘drop’ his  pencil on a daily basis or even went so far to put a mirror on his bluchers to sneak a peak of the girls in our class who were already onto him and wore shorts under their jumpers. (SDS, KCF, JSH you happen to remember who did it? I am down to one brain cell and can’t place him)

Anyway, if you encounter or see such a pervert, drop a dime on his ass. I mean what do you think the internet is for? No wonder Playboy and Penthouse are dying on vine, we got sick-o’s taking up skirt pics on the 4&5 Trains. In closing try to keep those Karma thoughts flowing (see what I did there KLC Man) and do what CBT did back in the day.

Back when I was working in Memphis my female counterpart or work wife’s desk faced mine in an office of 5 people. One day I guess she didn’t want to wear her yoga pants and her BBQ Fest t-shirt so she wore this V neck sweater wrap top that pretty much was designed for a flat chested female. During the course of the day things got a little loose up there and at one point I look up and she was showing some fairly significant cleavage. I get on my phone and text her “Hey Tits McGee, holster those things would ya? I appreciate it and all considering I haven’t seen a nipple in 3 years but if you don’t fix yourself I may break the streak!” *editor’s note – She was wearing a bra so it wouldn’t have gotten to that point. But for those of you who know the back story on the nipple with me you are probably rolling on the floor, for those who don’t just chalk it up to me not having enough coffee*

Have a good day folks and Happy NY Election Day!

Pictures of the Week from New Years Eve and Football Weekend

Have a good day, tomorrow we showcase a new feature on the Blog.

Happy New Year Folks

Happy New Years folks, we are que’d up in the 12th stall to the right just south of 45th street and have a great spot to watch the ball drop. Sure we have been here for 4 hours already (arrival at 4:AM EST) and only have 16 more hours standing in the cold without food, water, or bathroom but why not? To my three readers, if you are scratching your head wondering if I have lost my ever loving mind the answer is I am just fecking with you. Nope I am working on a Year in review and should have that for you over the weekend but the thought of doing the above doesn’t really appeal to us. And for those of you saying “It must be because you are scared for your life if a terrorist attack happens” that is bullshit. There will be more than 5K officers in Times Square tonight so give that a rest. We do have some pretty cool NYE plans and I will tell you about them next year.

IMG_0039
Our “view” of where Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin will be. *taken yesterday as I was walking/dodging tourists yesterday*

IMG_0040
As of 12.30.15 the “ball” wasn’t up yet but that is a real shot of where the action will be tonight. Good Luck to my friends in 38103 when they drop the guitar.

Happy New Year and be careful out there folks. We will see you next year.

 

 

Behind the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade from Someone on the Street

“Did you see the cast of X perform their act? How did Daughtry sound? “Did Pat Benatar really lip-sync her song? How hot was Eva Longoria?” Yeah, these were the questions that I received during the Parade and the answer to all of them was “Never saw it, that was the TV broadcast.” You know when you go to a live Nationally televised game and it takes longer because of the airing network and the commercials? That is what you get with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I am not dogging the experience we saw because it was killer! Growing up watching it over the years, oh yeah, it was a bucket list item.

First of all, many thanks to the Asian Fireman and his family for inviting us as the NYFD Pipes and Drums were marching in the parade for the first time since it is the 150 anniversary celebration of the NYFD. We scored grandstand tickets so rather than sleeping on the street the night before like a bunch of people did, we strolled up at 7AM and hung out till the parade started. The weather was perfect and you couldn’t have asked for a better day. Here are the top 10 things that I learned from attending the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  1. The Parade starts at 9AM from W77th and Central Park West and ends at 7th and 34th Street. The Parade route is roughly 3 miles long and takes 2 hours from start to finish.
  2. We were at 7th and Central Park South (halfway on the crosstown route) and the parade started for us at 9:30 and ended at 11:30. The TV show starts I think at 9AM so all those Broadway Musicals you saw? Those were the filler acts before the floats arrive.
  3. The clowns, roller blade people, float holders, and various parade people – Nicest people in the world, if I heard “Happy Thanksgiving” once, I heard it a million times. Great interaction that you don’t see on TV.
  4. When the clowns come by the barricade they sprinkle confetti on the kids and parents who aren’t paying attention.
  5. Those Floats and Balloons how high are they? Probably the rope from the ground to the bottom of the float was 3 to 4 stories. I imagine they use boom cameras for the visual effects.
  6. The float handlers wear the same colored jumpsuits and they group 3 people around a rope so nobody gets tired. Each float has a “Marshall” that tells them to hurry up or stay in the middle of the street.
  7. Speaking of staying in the middle of the street, did you know that they have to remove all the traffic lights that hang over the street? Any flagpoles that jut out over the street have to come down too. Our office is on 7th @ 37th street and I wondered why they were yanking the flagpoles on Tuesday.
  8. Counter Terrorism Officers and NYPD – Yes they were very present and did I feel scared for my life……I am a fucking New Yorker, I ain’t staying home and letting those jokers win. If Police Commissioner Bratton (who I love by the way) says that it will be safe so “get your coat on Momma, we are going to 59th street!”
  9. The musical acts (except for Cirque du Solei) basically sit on the float and wave to people. The Cirque folks do their act the whole route and even while the float is jumping.
  10. You start the parade with “Happy Thanksgiving” and to the end it changes to “Merry Christmas” and no LVD, Mariah Carey isn’t the end of the parade, it is and always will be SANTA.

macy-parade

Here is the Route, we were on Central Park South (59th Street) near 7th Street siting with our back to the park.

IMG_9648Again, thanks to the Asian Fireman for the Tickets! They were much appreciated.

IMG_9650You do have to get there early (2 hours prior) but at least we didn’t sleep on the street like the people across from us on Central Park South did

IMG_9647We assume that they yank the traffic lights the night prior or there will be all kinds of wrecks around Central Park. Oh Maria, aren’t you happy that the Citi Bike Stand is “Out of Service” when I become mayor….

IMG_9654Street Light look a little Cadi-Wampus? They swiveled the light towards the park so they didn’t have to remove it.

IMG_9655We were right across from the Essex House and I kept wondering what that was…It was a flagpole that got removed.

IMG_9656C-Man got cranky but I don’t blame him, he got woken up at 5AM, gets to see Uncle CBT and Aunt CBT then has to sit in the cold for 2 hours doing nothing waiting on the parade. He took a little nap on Grandma and was fine once the parade started.

IMG_9659Kudos the to the Crowd for the clapping & cheering and thanking the NYPD for their service today.

IMG_9687Here are the Ronald McDonald Float Handlers, all dressed alike so it blends in with the float.

IMG_9745“Hey Ian! Look to your left, that is the World Famous Carbunkle Trumpet and his Smoking Hot Wife!” mutters one of the members of the Pipes and Drums.

IMG_9712It was kind of funny watching the Floats hang a right onto Broadway

IMG_9774Poor Nan didn’t realize she was getting Confetti’d each time the Clowns came

IMG_9678Calling All Cars…Be on the lookout for Hello Kitty riding in an airplane. She was last seen heading south on Broadway from Central Park South.

Again, thanks to the J&E L for letting us horn in on the fun. We had a blast and this is one for the wall. Happy Holidays!