Philly

 The Great Philly Smoke Out

BBQ – The art of cooking meat via indirect heat and smoked wood
Grilling – The art of cooking meat via direct heat over an open flame.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way….again! Let me tell you about a great weekend we had in Glenside. You recall the BOOGIE DOWN BBQ we had last year? Well this year we headed to Philly for the similar event. The Memphis, Atlanta and Ft. Lauderdale contingent all represented well and naturally I hitched a ride with the Asian Fireman from New York. The menu was Pulled Pork, Ribs, Beef Brisket, and Beef Ribs along with some great sides and drink.

It was great seeing everyone and to see how all of the kids have grown. We all know that the adults have grown…..out and it was great to catch up with everyone.

IMG_1323Trimming the Pork Butts

IMG_1318Working on the Ribs

IMG_1319The Scraps Pan – That will get thrown away! Sorry LB’s Momma

IMG_1330Oh get used to a lot of uncomfortable things there Asian Fireman!

IMG_1325Beef Ribs waiting to get juiced and covered

IMG_1336Good Thing that Lisa Marie is only in 6 inch deep water – No Lifeguard on Duty

IMG_1338And that is when it went downhill – The Kona Ice Slushie Cart

IMG_1322All shined up and ready to cook!

Good to see everyone!

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Pictures from the Week – Redneck Riviera Style!

I have one more thing to say about this pasts week trip but I am behind the 8 ball and heading to Philly for the annual Northeast BBQ extravaganza. We missed the Philly Boogie Down 2 years ago because “we were busy packing for our move to New York City!” *that still feels weird typing that*

Anyway have a good weekend, wish me luck. I am going to be drinking with my boy RJ. If we get him juiced like a Ferrari we may find someone to perform that vasectomy this weekend.

IMG_1266Friday night before we left for LA we went to the Cyclones game

IMG_1269The Park out on Coney Island is nice

IMG_1278You can’t beat the beaches on OBA

IMG_1282No I didn’t take this pic to be a perv (I made Mrs. Trumpet take it) these girls came out at sunset for the perfect light and spent 45 minutes taking selfies and snapchats. Naturally I photobombed one of them and they wanted my Instagram handle. I declined because I didn’t want to be a hashtag. #creepyolddrunkguy

IMG_1287These guys took 1:45 to set up everything. I timed them as I smoked my morning cigar.

IMG_1292Want to make a 9yo talk to you. Take their picture, post it on Instagram and then they will ask you how many likes they got. *do me a favor, find this pic in my Instagram feed and like it would you? L(squared) will get a kick out of it if we top 100

IMG_1297J-Bob – “How Many Cigars you going to smoke Uncle CBT?”
Me – “How many times you going to ask me stupid questions kid?”

IMG_1259Kitty came in town before we left out and we got to spend some time with her.

IMG_1303If you look above the “R” in Pershing you see the blonde in the red top? UWS Holly was trying to play Paparazzi on the sunset. I saw it and texted it to her. I told her that this is what happens when you venture on the east side of 5th Avenue.

Have a good weekend and we will see you on Monday.

Is it a Sub, Hero, Hoagie, Grinder or Sandwich?

Made a trip to Atlantic City this past weekend to see “The Neighbor” and her husband. We also had a brief appearance by “The Gay Coke Dealer” for a one and done Friday night. We had a great time and on leaving AC we decided to grab some Subs at the world famous White House. I called the order in at 11AM to be ready at 2PM and I am glad I did. The story is that the doors opened in October 1946 and have been serving the New Jersey Submarine sandwiches ever since.

We opted for the Original and a Cheesesteak with and added sweet peppers. I walked into the joint and it is packed tighter than Dick’s Hatband. Between people waiting for table service, to go orders there isn’t much room to move around. I ask the waitress where I go for call in orders and she tells me to head to the back by the walk in freezer. I go back there but I am stuck in the ‘Go Order’ line and ask again. Literally I had to go into the kitchen to get my order. I tell them my name and they hand me two baseball bats wrapped in paper.

We make our way home and after some beers at Iggy’s we decide that it is time for the Subs. Even cold they sandwiches were unbelievable and the Bread…..Oh the Bread that my friends is what makes this a great sandwich.

IMG_0827Homeslice wasn’t too crazy that I was taking pictures but I told them that I knew the Gay Coke Dealer and all was forgiven.

IMG_0836You can’t understand how big this sucker is by this angle.

IMG_0835I had to get out the Stanley Black and Decker Tape Measure for this.

IMG_0837This is about 6 inches of the Original for us to eat. Knock it off Nova – I know what you are going to say.

IMG_0838The Philly and Here is when I realized they forgot to include the Sweet Peppers.

IMG_0839We still have plenty of sandwiches to eat the rest of the week.

Thanks to the Neighbor and her welfare receiving husband for a great time and we will see you again soon. As far as the Margate Dad…..You know that I still love you!

 

 

The Memphis Water Cover Up of April 2014

Let me let you in on a ‘dirty little’ secret about my former hometown. I think that the statute of limitations have run out and since I don’t own a car anymore I don’t have to worry if it will blow up when I go to start it. You see Memphis had a huge cover up 2 years ago and still to this day they don’t talk about it. And this goes pretty deep too, like aquifer water well deep. You ready for it, Memphis 2 years ago had a huge water problem and now we are seeing the effects of it firsthand. No I am talking Flint Michigan lead in the water crisis, I am talking about baby making water. Seriously, first it started with favorite Tavern owner, then we assume that Pepe brought some water back to Philly for DP to drink, next was RJ & Mallory, I could go on for pages…..

Memphians who were on the front lines knew what was going on, I told Mrs. CBT that she was no longer allowed to drink water from the tap so she switched over to Wine and Beer. Double Bird MS switched over to Miller Light and our Ponzi scheme home owner started drinking Fireball like it was her job. One night we were at our local sports bar solving the world’s problem and out of the corner of my eye I see my Bar Wife about to choke down a birth control pill with a glass of water and I had to slap the glass out of her hand. I told her that she had to take her chances because I wasn’t going to let her raise a beautiful child that sadly would never get to ride the adult rides at Disney World. *Editor’s note – For those of you wondering WTF I am talking about, I have a bar wife, she and I were married by Elvis Priestly from Canada on Beale Street. Oh and my Real Wife we had our vows renewed by an Elvis Tribute Artist in Vegas for our 5th Anniversary.

Ok, I am cutting to the chase because I am nearing 350 words. So this Saturday morning Mrs. Trumpet and I get our happy asses up and head down to Penn Station to take a train ride over to Philly. The occasion…..A one year old’s birthday party. I do have to hand it to the city planners up here in the North East. You guys know how to move people around and in bulk too! Getting to Philly, more specifically Glenside was two shakes of Lamb’s tail and we were there! We get up there, get us a cold beer in us and watch Pepe wrestle with his smoker since they had a rain storm. Pulled Pork, Ribs, Chicken, Kielbasa and Smoked Mac & Cheese were on the menu. I must admit it had been a while since I saw multiple charcoal and stick burners going on at the same time and it made me feel nostalgic.

It was good to see everyone and yes, I watched the 1 year old destroy the obligatory birthday cake.

I don’t really understand that practice but hey, I did my job. I kept my real and bar wife from drinking the water 2 years ago!

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She would’t drink beer with me in the morning! Not my fault there is a Pinot Grigio Grape Shortage now.

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Got up at 4AM to get the Smoker going and still going strong!

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If the Rib Bends then like a Rainbow it is good – Rib 101 rule

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Glazed up and ready for cutting! Sadly the Jewish folks who were heading out for Passover festivities didn’t stick around.

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There is nothing better than putting your hands in Pork Meat and pulling  it apart.

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For those of you who were calling Bullshit on My Bar Wife and I being married by Elvis Priestly. Here is his card that I keep in my book.

Let me guess, you went to Hot Wing Festival and then Wine Race this weekend didn’t you? Fuckers!