Q Train

What a Week We Have Had last week

This has been a busy last week for the both of us. Here are some pictures to showcase them.

IMG_2018Even the dogs get into Halloween! No the Monkey Heads did not dress this year.

IMG_2025Got to visit one of my customers who is at 59th and 5th Ave.

IMG_2026Park Avenue

IMG_2027Yes I am in Sam’s territory. It is after all a shared territory

IMG_2029Mrs. Trumpet got in some “Summer Lovin” singing last week!

IMG_2035Asshole Cat

IMG_2008I mean it is the day after Halloween and you put that out?

IMG_2038Christmas season must be here if they put out the Panettone in the grocery stores.

IMG_2039Got to love Trader Joe’s and their wine delivery!

IMG_2040I mean did you really chain your bike to a subway car on the Q?

IMG_2046I think I may need some coffee for this weekend in Maine!

Hope you have a good weekend. We head to the state of LL Bean. 

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More Pics of the Trip – Lady Killer and Ba take Manhattan 3.0

So this trip we did a couple things differently. For one we took the subway a little bit more considering we have the wonderful Q Line. Ba wasn’t too thrilled about taking the Subway. No she isn’t a public transportation snob. She was a little taken aback that once she stepped into the subway car half of the people sitting jumped up and offered her their seat. We did giggle a little about this during the trip.

IMG_1993While we were being delayed due construction I snapped a pic of Lady Killer on his iFoam

IMG_1994Here is a pic of Sissy playing Candy Crush sitting next to The Lady Killer

IMG_1995And here is Ba also on her iFoam while we waited 11 stories below ground. At least they all were acting like New Yorkers and avoided eye contact with the crazy people!

IMG_2003Good Times at Peter Lugar with the Family!

IMG_2006Normally everything in Shobo’s hand looks huge but not when you are comparing your hand to Kevin Durant. #TWSS

IMG_1998I need to come over for one of the lunch specials.

Like I said, a good time was had by all!

Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

The Mother of all Eye-Talian Festivals – San Gennaro Festival

Go ahead and make your snide comment why don’t you. I get it all the time; You look Irish, sound like you are from Texas but you have vowel at the end of your last name so you are Eye-Talian? If you are a New York Italian and grew up here you probably have a San Gennaro Festival story of some sort. Even with the shrinking Little Italy this festival is everything that you dream about.

The festival is a celebration of Faith to the Patron Saint of Naples, Italy and is a festive atmosphere with tons of food, and religions processions. It also is a fundraiser for the Figli di San Gennaro the not for profit organization that gives  to neighborhood schools, parishes and other charities. TRANSATION – You eat and drink a little too much but it is ok because it helps the kids, capiche?

Mrs. Trumpet and I headed down there on Saturday afternoon after my trip to the grocery store and as expected, it was asshole to elbow. The main part of the festival is on Mulberry street so the local businesses and restaurants put out tents to allow patrons to purchase food or drink. With the tents and the people, it is mobbed (see what I did there KLC Man and RMT?)  so we ducked into a local bar on Spring street to have a rest and beer. Oh and yes, I tried a couple dishes and even Mrs. Trumpet got her a corn dog that unfortunately, wasn’t very good. A good time was had by all!

IMG_1721But before we start with the pictures, let’s take a selfie like the kids do.

IMG_1710For any Fundraiser you got to have rides for the kids. Thankfully we left the Little Bastid at home so we had beer money instead.

IMG_1711Little Man riding the Jumping Star was a hoot, he was having the best time and was commanding a good audience too!

IMG_1712The Bracciole they make up here isn’t like I was used to from the Giovanni’s days.

IMG_1713Trust me when I say it was way more crowded than this picture lets on.

IMG_1714Toasted Rav – I have had better but hey one has to eat something right?

IMG_1716I bet that you can get a decent line on the Notre Dame game in here.

IMG_1717You get a free pass if you drink at a Church event.

IMG_1719We were in search of a clean bathroom and cold beer

IMG_1718No it isn’t a Bud Light, you have to go Native down in Little Italy and have a Peroni

IMG_1723No Jackass we aren’t taking a pic of you, we are taking a pic of the meat in tube form on a stick.

IMG_1722S/O to my work Wife

IMG_1726Since we were good and gave to the church we decided to head over to Milano’s Bar on Houston Street for some Bud Light. That and “I know a guy” who used to own it too!

IMG_1728Classic New York drink – Beer and a shot

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday

 

 

Rockaway – The Beach within Reach

My non Memphian readers are probably scratching their heads wondering what that means. I was referring to the old Maywood Beach that is now a residential community. So last week we went to Long Island and hung out at Jones Beach with friends. This weekend, after we made a purchase from Tommy Bahama, we decided we would keep it local and head to Rockaway Beach. Our trusted mixologist who is a beach bum at heart was touting up Rockaway Beach at the beginning of the summer. After a couple quick “where should we go…aka drink” messages we took our show on the road and headed on the A Train. Door to door it takes roughly an hour and a half to get to Far Rockaways and there is nothing better than toting your beach chairs and cooler on the Subway because you know people deep down are jealous.

I confirmed with Time Out and we decided to head to the Beach 67th Street stop. We arrived and the beach was pretty much empty. At first we were wondering if we were in the right spot. I mean we had the pick of the beach as the only people on the beach were surfers or surfer families. It was after a couple of hours that we realized why this beach was almost abandoned. The beach were on was a “Surfers Only” beach. Meaning that you are not allowed to go swimming. You recall last week when I spoke about the water temperature? Trust me, unless it absolutely necessary (aka I have to go pee) I am not getting in that water anytime soon. Pretty much you waited until the ‘life guard’ who would ride by on his ATV was gone to go stand waist deep in the water. We liked that beach and plan on going back.

Bikini’s R Forever suggested that we head to Connolly’s for after Beach frozen drinks. There is nothing better than having frozen Pina Coladas in an Irish Bar (what are the odds) in bathing suits and smelling of suntan lotion. Oh and the Pina Coladas that they serve? You want to make sure you ask for “a sinker” which is just a dollar extra. After ‘running out of money’ (Connolly’s is cash only) we decided to try the NY Ferry and unfortunately it was a bust. The line was too long and we were risking not making the ferry before they stopped the shuttle. We ended up taking an Uber which will sting the pocketbook but it was getting dark and the Monkey heads were waiting.

All in all we loved the Rockaways and Far Rockaways. Great little beach town and if we didn’t have this place here in the city we would actually think of moving out there. Sure it is cold as balls on the water but for 100 days it would be killer. Thanks Andi for the suggestions and we got the first round at Connolly’s next weekend.

image1Got to love that Q Train!

IMG_1504This was the view when we arrived at 11AM on Saturday. Nobody was here!

IMG_1507Interesting choice of Beach Umbrella

IMG_1508Waiting on the Life Guard to leave so they can go Pee swimming

IMG_1509Overlooking the Beach from the 67th street Boardwalk

IMG_1510Don’t let the Cherry Fool you – These are deadly!

IMG_1535After we decided the Ferry was not a viable option we had a drink at bar near the Bay

IMG_1506I mean who doesn’t love a good Surfing Beach.

Two weekends in a row and 2 beach trips. Notice a pattern here?

Apple be Racist – Fun times on the Q Train to Times Square

I must have had the Jackass magnet on when I left the apartment Monday morning. I knew it was going to be a ‘special’ day when I walked out of the building and one of the little fuckers sweet children in the building rolled over my foot on his Razor. I did feel better when accidently ‘hip checked’ him into the planter. That aught to teach him a lesson.

But I digress. I made my way to the Q platform at E72nd street and got to the middle of the platform. For some reason the Q was packed yesterday morning. I shoehorned my ass on the train and found a spot next to one of the center poles. As the doors were shutting, I heard the sound that all New Yorkers groan. “Excuse me everybody, I apologize but I…..” as an older African American male went into his story of how he hit on hard times. Normally the speech and the time to walk through the subway car to get any change given by passengers is about the same time it takes to get to the next stop.

Unfortunately for us, we had a delay heading to the E63rd & Lexington station. So skillet was still in our subway car and then it happened. I was minding my own business listening to some Ludacris and I hear the gentlemen go into a rant yelling at the top of his lungs. “You Mudda Effers are all a bunch of Racists. You stand there judging me with your white earbuds in your hears. You all are a racists and Jesus won’t help you on judgement day.”

I really don’t know how to come back with that zinger other than “Bless your heart”

IMG_0794Here I am in my “Racist” earbuds but I am rocking my black suit and black tie ala Reservoir Dogs

Go forth and have a good day folks.

 

Stuff we ‘used’ to think was odd -19 months living here

Yesterday marked 1 year and 7 months living here on this island called Manhattan. We celebrated it by having our favorite Russian from the UES over for Brunch and then Momma studied for her midterm this week. The time really has flown by and I would say that we are slowly becoming New Yorkers. No, my accent is still in tact and people still ask what part of Texas I am from. Mrs. Trumpet on the other hand threw out a “Are you Fucking Kidding me?” to me when I drank all of her Tea before I left for the Cigar Inn. As we look back on these 19 months I guess some things that we at first seem foreign are staring to seem normal. Now for those Memphians who have never visited up here you may have that ‘hamster wheel is spinning but nobody is home’ look as you read this list.

  1. Stoops – Forget about sitting on the front porch like you do in the south, here you are lucky if you have an outdoor space. Remember when I was jealous as crap of the Murphrank’s Roof Deck? Well sadly unless you plunk down 10+M for a UES brownstone that you still will have to renovate you have a stoop instead. Oh and forget about being protected from the rain like the porch at 595. Here you get your ass wet.
  2. Kids Playing outside – If it isn’t raining or sleeting in the winter you will always find kids playing in neighborhood playgrounds or even on city streets. I remember when I was younger and if it was below a certain temperature then Recess was held inside, not here. You will see kids playing their hearts out with rosy cheeks and frozen snot on their faces. Hey you got to tire those fuckers out because it won’t work in a less than 1K square foot apartment.
  3. Comfortable Shoes – Forget those leather soled Johnston & Murphy’s lace ups. Get you a pair of good rubber soled shoes and prepare to rotate them out. I walk roughly 10K to 15K steps a day for work. I have 3 pair of black shoes that I have in my rotation and a pair of brown for some suits that I wear. My international counterpart ‘wife’ normally is rocking a pair of flats or some pair of low heel shoes as we make our way about the city. Anything higher than 3 inches and you are crazy. *EGP – when you come for Easter, leave those 9 inch F-Me Pumps at college. Don’t worry you will turn heads w/o wearing those barbaric things.
  4. Shoe Repair Store – You got to have a great Shoe Shine/Repair “guy” in New York! I think that there may be 2 repair guys in Memphis and that was when Mr.Galtelli still had his shop on Union. Shoe shine guys in Memphis? Only one I knew about was in the lobby of the Peabody. In Gotham they are all over the place and you have to have a good one. Case in point this past Saturday. Momma’s boots were looking like crap and she needed them to get cleaned up and poste haste. I go see my buddy on 2nd Ave at Artistic Shoe Services and ‘David’ (he is Pakistani so it is easier for him to introduce himself as David) gets them shined, repaired and back to me in 2 hours. I see David each week on my way home from work on Friday’s to get my shoes cleaned up. You got to look good when you are walking the streets.
  5. Random Ish on the side of the Street – Pretty much you can furnish a house with the crap that you find on the streets of New York. Someone moves out of an apartment chances are you will find some of their furniture on the street. Let me tell you, people will fight over the good stuff. I saw a couch get dumped on W23rd street and before I could finish the Instagram post it was already nabbed.
  6. Coffee is King – Before I moved to New York I only drank coffee if it has booze it. You do some crazy hours here and need a pick me up. At first it was a diet coke or Red Bull but that really wasn’t good for me. Then I started having a double espresso after a meal. Now I am hooked on that ish! I love it Hard, Strong and Black – and that is just how I take my coffee! Maria gave me an espresso pot for my birthday and that sucker is in use all the time. Who would have thought that CBT is now a fan of the Java.
  7. How Deep Are We Going Here? – Go ahead and say it – That’s What She Said…… No I am not going there, I am referring to the depth of some of the Subway platforms. Our new Q line is pretty deep. I think at E72nd station it is 11 stories below the surface. Getting down there can be a challenge for those who don’t like heights. Mrs. Trumpet hates the escalator so we always are using the elevators which are nicer than some buildings. Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride and try not to think that there is rushing water coming down the tube instead of a train.
  8. Do you Deliver – If you think that I am going to schlep a case of wine sparkling water down the street you are crazy as hell. Yep, thank God for Fresh Direct Grocery service and Astor’s Wine and Spirits. It is a lifesaver!
  9. Wind-chill sucks – 20 degrees as a high in Manhattan? If there is no wind then it is cold but manageable. But you add the wind and then it pretty much sucks balls. Recall when I survived that Noreaster? I sure as hell do. Put it this way, when the wind starts blowing down those streets thanks to the tall ass buildings…you get the picture.
  10. Not having a car really doesn’t bug us – Nope, we don’t miss driving and messing with a car at all. Crazy huh?

stoopsSure Sarah Jessica Parker hung out on her stoop but she also drank for free b/c she put out.

img_0450Yep here in the UES we block streets so the kids can play outside. First base is the Volvo and 3rd base is the Bentley.

img_0460When they are balder than Telly Savalas then it is time to throw them out!

shoe-shineHey Guys, anybody see that naked girl run down the street? Guess not! And you don’t fool us, we know you are looking at Carbunkle’s Corny Joke of the Day on Facebook.

img_0457It did have a ‘slight’ odor from 5 feet away.

cooffeeI may have a problem with my Java intake.

img_0451Pay no attention to the Jason D. Williams portrait above the escalator down to hell!

fresh-direct-billDo you really think I am going to schlep 2 cases of drinks down the street? Yeah me too!

img_0458When you get this text message you know that it is going to be a bitch outside.

Hope that you had a good weekend and enjoyed reading. We return you to your regularly scheduled show.

 

Planes Trains and a 40 Uber Ride

Let me just say this for the record. I know that when one travels stand-by you live by the sword and you also die by the sword. Let me also go on record saying that if I still lived in Memphis I would be lobbying for Kevin Kane, the Memphis Convention and Visitor Bureau President, to get a damn raise. If Kevin can get a group to come to Memphis with the overpriced bend you over without lube airfare costs then he is a hero. Seriously it costs the same to go from LGA to Memphis as it does from JFK to Heathrow Airport in London. Now that you know the back story you now understand why I would choose to fly stand-by to MEM from LGA.

Getting there is normally a breeze. Not many people are flying on the late Thursday night flight so I always guaranteed a seat. On Sunday’s the best chance to get back to LGA is the 6:30AM Delta flight since not many people want to head to New York on Sunday. Well the flight that I was to take got downgraded. Translation – My ass got bumped off the flight by 1 seat.

So there I was; working off of 3 hours sleep and I just paid 40 bucks because of a surging Uber so going back to South Main was not in the cards. I decided to head to Atlanta and try to get back to New York that way. This was because the one that I got bumped was the only flight to New York that day. Seriously, Kevin Kane deserves a huge fucking raise! What carrier has 1 flight a day on the weekend?

So I get to Atlanta, sit on standby for 3 “sorry the flight is closed but we moved you to the next flight’ flights and reach out to Pearl’s Daddy. You see, Pearl’s Daddy knows ‘a guy’ and he tells me to fly into a ‘back city’ to get home. I get on my iFoam and find that I can get to LGA from Norfolk, VA. I hedge my bets and get to Norfolk. End of story I get home some 13 hours later.

img_0436Reason Number One why I was ‘tired’ for my trip home.

img_0428Reason Number 2 why I am ‘tired’ for my trip home. Bender you have a pass.

img_04374 flights home = worth it!!!

img_0438Last message I sent to Momma. She was starting to wonder if I was going to Belize.

img_0439Hello JFK!

img_0440Love the E to the Q to get home!

All in all it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Thankfully I got home and got to see the Monkey heads.

Stand Clear of the Closing Doors Please

Do you know how long residents of the Upper East Side have been waiting to hear those 7 words? From what I understand the carrot on the stick has been dangling in front of “my people” (notice how quick I am identifying myself with UES residents now that the damned thing is open) about 100 years with various stories and delays. It wasn’t until the Governor stepped in and gave them a deadline. New Years Day the 2nd Avenue Subway would be open for business.

Trust me when I say that a lot of my friends had their doubts. It wasn’t until I made a drunken boast that “I, Carbunkle Eugene Trumpet IV would swim in the Atlantic Ocean from the Coney Island boardwalk on New Years Day after riding the Q train from the Upper East Side of Manhattan!!!” Thankfully nobody called me on my boast as The Man with 3 first names was going to Philly and Maria didn’t meet us at the Kings Highway so I didn’t feel the need to go swim with the fishes.

So at Noon we headed out the door to walk a block to the subway station and take the Inaugural First Subway ride from 72nd station to Coney Island. Even the Governor who more or less put fire to the feet of the contractors and MTA was there. His comment to me (as he was getting into his Suburban) “It looks great, it is on time and it is much needed!”  What Andrew didn’t say was that when we got into the subway car the Mother Fucker was out of sequence  and we waited 25 minutes. Hey, I pay taxes here, I can bitch with the rest of them. So all in all a normal 1 hour trip took us 2 hours but let me tell you that it is nice.

When we get to Coney Island for the Polar Bear Plunge I really can’t explain it. To my Memphis readers, let me put it this way. Think Wine Race but everyone is wearing heavy coats and some are in Bikini’s. We check out the scene, realize that the people standing on line at Nathans was asinine so we find a spot at Ruby’s on the boardwalk. The people watching is great and we both realize that a lot of Coney Island residents are kind freaks. That is why we love them so and can fit in so well. We have a couple beers and then head back to the train where we are to go have some Black Eyed Peas and Greens with our new UWS friend. Oh by the way, return trip from Coney Island with a transfer to the 3 at Atlantic Ave was 1 hour and we made it all the way to W96th Street.

So RJ – if you are not knee deep in pampers next New Years you need to come up for this show. It is worth the price of admission…..which is only $2.75!

img_0125Glad to see you Carbunkle, I will see you at the cigar place later this week. *for those Memphians who don’t know that is the Governor or New York State. He doesn’t like the Mayor of New York so he is ok in my book.*

img_0127Notice the time on the sign. We got to Coney Island at 2:30pm

img_0130The Murphranks are now just one subway ride away. No more transferring, this could be a bad thing.

img_0136Somebody Wrapped a Subway Car!

img_0140I do not doubt that LVD would be a tad excited to see this place.

rubyOnly Pic of Ruby’s that I snapped and it was a picture on the wall waiting to go to the bathroom. I was told later this was Ruby. Man his parents made it tough for him growing up.

img_0148Got to love my people. Find any excuse to drink! Hey @BrizzyNYC – We need to make the Mermaid Festival this year!

img_0147We live an hour away from the beach and never visited it. That ish will change this summer.

img_0149I may have to make this event this July.

Happy New Year, heading to Baker Street to go see the Duffels and drink some cold beers.