The Hub

I miss that Nasty Arse MTA Subway

I mean its nasty, its stories below the ground and lawd knows what other nasty arse things are growing on those poles. Hopefully during this down time they are cleaning them and disinfecting them. Yeah that was funny too but I doubt it. What I figure is that once we get to return probably in May they won’t be stinking but who knows. I am amazed that all of my MTA posts on Twitter about delays are missing. Guess it is true that people are the cause of the delays.

You hardly ever see this. Seriously like never!
Work Break to Torture Maya
Look, I get it you like to mess with me but I better get some cheese for this.
Keeping the sidewalk clean. Thankfully the asshole who non-leash’s his dog and lets it pee right out must be away. He is also the same guy who will reserve his Uber from his apartment and lets them wait for him.
Fek Charlie!
Holy Shit! 6 Cars and a Manhattan Bound Q Train on the Manhattan Bridge
Meatball wanted to so play with Maya
My Screen Saver for my work laptop. This was the old Terminal at Caulker but now its nice and fancy!
Booze Delivery for George’s Mom

Seriously let me know if you want a special request.

Adjusting to Things

New Yorkers are resilient. They can put up with a lot of shit that normal people would say “Oh Hell No, Check Please.” We cram into dirty sardine cans daily to get to work secretly hoping that the person next to us doesn’t stink or fart. We live in small ass spaces and pay more money for this when it is the complete opposite of people in other parts of the world. We live in a place where we have people from so many different countries it is just the norm to see people dressed in their native attire or hear their accent or native tongue.

New Yorkers survived 9/11, Hurricane Sandy and we most certainly will survive this damn thing. But what is going on right now is really strange to people who don’t live here. Case in point this whole Social Distancing thing and that there is NOBODY outside. This is what is really strange to us who have gotten used to it.

Oh I guess when we survive this thing and Geranium and I don’t kill each other we can get our “New Yorker” pin. Maria I am looking to you for your ruling.

This is the Manhattan Bridge from my window. It is a dual vehicle and subway bridge and is the second one going from the Tip of Manhattan going up the East River (BMW = Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg)
What you are looking at on this shitty day is 1 ten car subway on the bridge. On normal rush hour you see one every 7 minutes and sometimes 2 of them on the bridge at the same time. I counted and the lag time between subway is now 15 to 20 minutes.
Do you know how many elevators I have ridden in the past 2 weeks that I am the only asshole in the car? This building is 750 apartments and everyone is staying in.
It is hard to Social Distance on the streets at times. I find myself walking down the middle of the street at times.
Sadly I didn’t Insta-Story this trip to the grocery store yesterday. As you can see people are not hoarding paper towels in Brooklyn
Andrew Cuomo – “Why are people hoarding TP?” I can report that this particular brand sucks and I won’t use this to blow my nose but its good enough for my arse!
Normal shelves, sure some spots are blown out but its not Doomsday
Again I don’t watch the news so I don’t know what they are saying. I have had a lot of you reach out to me and I am very appreciative. We are going to be ok.
I would give my left eye tooth to grill out but our 3rd floor living space is closed until further notice.
Social Distancing Spots on the Floor.
I got the items I missed Sunday or Saturday when I did the Live Insta-Story. I also got a 12 pack of beer to offset my Vodka addiction

You know how I hate to use the terms “The New Normal”, “Un-Presented”, “UnCharted”, “Be Safe”, and “Be Well”? I would kill to get on the subway and give one of my “Are you Fucking Kidding Me?” looks!!!

"Maya Lets Go Get The Package"

I was doing my work expenses from the Week ending March 13th. Last week I didn’t really have the energy to get it done. Normally I do my expenses each week and that reminds me; “Hey Staten Island Sam – do your freaking expenses!”

That week I had lunch at Tommy Bahama on Thursday March 12th with a client and VA. Now the brightest part of my day is taking the dog down when I get a package. I don’t know what is worse. That I am blogging about going to get 2 boxes or that you are now reading it.

Maya now leads the way when we go out.
Park is empty, normally you see some kids but they are stuck at home now. God Bless anyone who is working from home with little ones. Spoke with Don today and you can hear the stress in his voice.
At least it was a nice day yesterday.
You don’t see much activity on the streets or traffic.
Got to keep Trevor, Jackie and the staff at The Hub Safe.
As you can imagine the deliveries have picked up Substantially. Normally the food guys will lean on the counter and that isn’t fair to our staff.
Lots of Junk Food on that Cart. Got to Find out where they live
Social Distancing in full effect here folks. You have no idea how strange this is for New Yorkers.
I am happy to report that Maya is very happy with Social Distancing.
The staff has been great here. Once we get done with this I am hugging everyone!

So if you haven’t figured out yet “What was in the Box?” We got our order from Meh.Com. We ordered some new pillows and now that we are stuck in here we are happy.

Captains Log – Day 2 of living in 500 Square Feet in Crime-Free Brooklyn

So I think that strange times require strange and different methods. I have always a been a fan of posting a barrage of pics from my phone on Friday’s. I call it “Just the Pictures” and it gets little to some press. Given that the entire US is (if not already) on quarantine people may need something on Social Media to smile about. I mean unless you really enjoy seeing crap from people cursing the Left or the Right. Chill folks!

So what I am trying to accomplish here is to put a smile on your face. I want my off day posts to be a place for you to come if you are down or need to get a 5 minute escape from this madness. I am putting a disclaimer out there now – These posts may be a lot of Apartment 38R so I am just warning you.

Truth – I fear that these next couple of weeks if not months are going to get really bad for some people. I know that I now find myself taking quick 5 minute breaks looking at Instagram or my favorite blogs waiting for conference calls or for reports to run. Sometimes I may go grab a diet coke, I may take the dog out to go pee. I may even smack Geranium on the ass while she is on a conference call. Guys and Gials – everyone needs a quick escape from this madness. We are writing a chapter that none of us have ever dreamed about. Shout out to TacoGirl who reached out to me with a great Social Distancing pic that I will use one of these days.

Now let’s be honest, do you really come her for my badly written grammar or run on fucking sentences? I saw Brother Joel McGraw, FCS tow (sp) weeks ago and I felt his scorn for my on regularly badly written blog. Without further adeau;

This is Command Central for Those Double Decker Bus Tours. Yep we are in uncharted times these days but by God we got to keep going.
See the close proximity I am to Geranium’s Bed Pan Cleaning Company? My Gawd! We may need to think about a partition. I showered, shaved and even put in hair gel too!
For those of you that know our “Invisible Kid” he is now stuck at home. Here he is doing his homework in the executive office. This dumb fucker hasn’t realized he has an Alexia in there to help him spell Skool or Kat.
Maya is not fooking happy with this!
Guys, I don’t watch the news up here but this is proof positive that complete strangers are looking out for each other. Oh and we live in a 55 floor building too!
Walked down to my favorite Fort Greene Bodega and they were full of stocked shelves. Anyone need Bodega Sushi?
We have plenty of Baked Goods up here too! No reason to hoard!
So speaking of hoarding we have decided to stop using Paper Towels in the house. We now have our wash bucket out and when a towel becomes MOIST (S/O to Kaylee, Lana and the Hot Asian) we chunk them in here and wash them periodically. Saves on Paper Towels.

So guys, start being nice to each other. Send a random texts and love all!

Social Distancing

Let me be perfectly clear, to whomever came up with that now overly used term you deserve a punch in the throat.

So I have had a bunch of people reach out to me asking how things are going here in New York. I don’t really watch the news on TV so I am not really sure what they are reporting. I went to Target on Saturday everyone was acting civil. There was food on the shelves, but the TP aisle was as expected, empty. I was picking up some Tide Pods and a ream of paper expecting to be stuck at home.

Later that afternoon we went to meet up with Lady Barrister and Mr 3 First Names at The Commissioner. I was happy to report that the bar was behaving correctly and people were keeping their distance from each other per the rules. Also anytime a table left the staff was spraying the table down with Lysol and cleaned the seats. It was great getting out and having some drinks and a much needed distraction.

Yesterday we were more or less staying in and working from home as the majority of my accounts heeded the warning. It was also announced that restaurants were to either close or allow take out only. This is going to really hurt some businesses. I get that we need to disrupt the spread and ‘flatten the curve’ but it is going to be interesting to say the least.

We are fine by the way, the dog is loving having mom and dad home but its everyone else that puts me on edge and makes me nervous. I am afraid that some business won’t make it. The profit margin of running a restaurant isn’t that great. I fear that we are going to lose some great institutions.

Restaurants are required to be 50% occupied and keep your distance but that has now changed.
Going to be strange with nobody out for St Patrick’s Day but it’s expected.
Had a couple of these the other day to ease the pain
Ate Mexican with Laterza on Saturday.
I have a feeling I am going to be watching some of these
My Fly office down on the 3rd floor before they closed it down.
We haven’t sent the “Can you spare a square” email yet.

Be Nice to Each Other and if you can support your fellow man/woman.

What is up with the picture of the baby Elvi?

I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?

  • Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
  • Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
  • Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.

I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.

I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.

Maya prefers to be sitting in a lap getting petted. Don’t we all?
Don’t worry Dad, I will protect the Cheese Cooler
The Jar-Man used to say that the sunsets over beautiful West Memphis Arkansas. I guess we can say it sets over beautiful New Jersey
Wonder what asshole lives in that tall as building? I understand from Mr. 3 First Names that my view of the Empire State Building is about to change.
That doesn’t suck. Oh and I found out that The Bobcat and Professor were married in that church to the left of the row houses.

Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.

Pictures of the Week – Saturday Edition

One would think that when Geranium is out of town I would be able to turn out a bunch of this worthless dribble. I mean, I consider it a dick move while we are together on the weekend for me to blog and not spend time with her. You may be wondering why at this particular moment I am not doing that but she is still in the rack asleep with the dog. And one of them is snoring like a freight train.

Here are some pictures of the past week that I have had in my iFoam.

My Mermaid Bikini wearing slinger of spirits lets me make bad decisions. That’s why we love her so!
Kept the plants alive while Geranium was away!
I am never going to see him up here in New York.
B Duffel had some strong shoe game going on yesterday. I wasn’t about to take it lying down. It is after all Dead Elvis Week
I don’t know what is more ballsy. Sitting on the steps at Penn Station or wearing sandals instead of a HazMat Suit.
And then you have got this. Notice her hands are died Aqua as well. She got off at (dramatic pause) Times Square

I hope you have a good weekend. We are chilling here today and then finding a rooftop in Park Slope tomorrow.

Pictures of The Week

Had a great week. That was until Geranium decided to shame my ass on having a slight salt addition. This weekend will be brief as she has to leave on Sunday for Seattle. However next Saturday we are going to the Red Neck Rivera.

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN TALKING ABOUT MY SALT COLLECTION! (Thankfully she doesn’t read this worthless dribble) In all seriousness I laughed my ass off. So I buy salt. At least I don’t buy cigars…..er oh well.
The Dog hid after that spirited arguement
Speaking of Cigars
The heat wasn’t like it was in the South but the Humidity was high AF!
Played some Dominoes last weekend.

By the way did you go buy Rebecca Coutant’s book yet?

Have a good weekend, if it is nice today we may be in the UES atop the Met Museum.

Saturday Shenanigans With Bobcat, Mr 3 First Names and Lady Barrister

I am sure that some of you are wondering What In The Cornbread Feck I am doing posting on a Sunday? I can barely type on some Sundays and now I am posting on this worthless dribble today? I am blaming Geranium (the woman not the plant) *Shout out to Jean-Jean the Dancing Belizean Queen for making me snort the other day with her comment* on making me get up at the crack of ass of dawn now 2 days in a row. I am thinking that she has given me her Switzerland Jet Lag!

So yesterday the aforementioned in the title gathered at Greenwood Park for some Libations and Laughs. I have not visited some of the Memphis haunts that I see people talk about but I equate it to Loflin Yards or Railgarden (thank you GurleyGurl) as it has been re-purposed and turned into a pretty cool venue. Oh did you think I am going to show any pictures of us wearing our Superhero capes from yesterday? Nope!

The Front of Greenwood Park
I am betting that outside bar is kinda of a bitch to work when it’s really hot or cold
Photo I nipped off the internet of the outdoor space
Got to love the old school Muscle Cars
Cloudy Sunset from our building
Why can’t we have that patio and apartment?
Brooklyn Point under construction. Street on the left is Schemerhorn, Street on the right is Livingston
Looking towards Queens
The East River and Manhattan

Have a good Sunday and weekend.

Pictures of the Week

Since Mary Louise has left my ass for the neutral zone country I will have more time to get on this worthless dribble. My pictures that I will be posting will be a couple weeks off but that is fine. You guy’s don’t pay for this entertainment anyway.

I asked them if they knew Laurie and they said they never heard of her.
Did some remodeling before Geranium left my ass with the dog.
Still a work in process.
Congrats to UWS Holly on being at the close of the NY Stock Exchange Bell. Bucket List item for a lot of people.
Does this mean that Zim-Bob could be a New Yorker? Hell Yes!

Have a good weekend. I am heading to Philly for a quick trip to hang with Pepe.