Tia Chocolate

Would the Alumni Members of the Ambergris Caye Message Board Please Stand Up (if they can)

I have to start out by giving mad props to Otteralum (I know that is a rather strange code name but he gave it to himself) because that magnificent bastard just pulled off one helluva ACMB Reunion. Pugwash quit swearing at the laptop, your time will come….

So, we just returned from a trip to Belize, but let me go back in time for some of you younger stalkers of this worthless dribble. Before Tic Toc, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, even Myspace and Friendster there was a thing called a “Message Board” Here people could come to it and ask questions about a vacation place or rant about their favorite sporting team. In this case the Message Board was for Ambergris Caye down in Belize.

For those of us who had visited the island a number of times we would chat on either threads or in mini chat. Like I said, Social Media hadn’t launched yet and there was not a lot going on. As with any group of child like adults (much like on social media) you had some ball busting, some fights, some got kicked off and so on.

I met the bulk of the ACMB (Ambergris Caye Message Board) on one of the Boogie’s in February. I want to recall it was a poker run that TacoGirl put together and IsleNutt made bracelets with everyone’s name. Needless to say it was a great trip and then Myspace moved to Facebook so sadly the message board lost steam.

So about 2 and a half years ago Otteralum put out a “Save the Date” for his 50th birthday in Facebook. I saw it was in early November and went to put it on the calendar. But something wasn’t kosher. First of all I thought that he and I were closer in age. Then I noticed that the dates didn’t coordinate with the days of the week. Did he start drinking early and forget his birthday? Nope he sent out the invite 2 and a half years in advance. Talk about an over-achiever.

Anyway a total of 42 folks came down from the US and a good number of them were from the ACMB. It was good to see some faces that I haven’t seen in a couple years. Even as Pugwash and I spoke at breakfast about todays agenda he remarked that it was probably the first time we ever were civil to each other. I told him it was because we were both still sober but Tim knows I don’t have a beef with him. He is just a big ole hairy Teddy Bear. But with a funnier accent other than mine. Love ya Pug and Jane!

I must have been in the bathroom when they took this picture. Pretty much the whole gang!
Me and Reaper (who technically doesn’t live in the States but in Costa Rica)
Me and Tia Chocolate – (the nose above picture is a staple Carbunkle Trumpet Selfie method) Nobody wants to see my whole face.
Me and Travel Queen
Me and Muppets Go Wild
The Birthday Boy aka Otteralum (his handle is a mix of his college and that he is an alum)
Fucking Spurs and Mr Spurs! – This picture automatically put a smile on my face when I saw it. It was so great to spend time with you and Bobby. Love ya Kid!
Yep even he was amongst us too.
For those of you wondering that is a shark vertebrae anklet and it was worn by KC Jayhawk. It was gifted to me by his wife because we lost Colin 4 years ago. Oh and we all still miss the big goof he was one in a million. I am not crying, you are crying.
I got you Bro!
Travel Queen and Dita
Two Former Memphians sit at the same table on a Sunday night. What are the chances.
For those of you who don’t know this is Elbert Greer and he owns the White Sands Dive Shop. Every morning he posts the weather report for San Pedro. It keeps my sanity when we are having Cold Ass Nor’easters.
She wasn’t on the island but as I am having my last beer I notice the picture of SweetJane with Jet. We got to throw her into the mix!
Love these two! Isla this summer?
Who has two thumbs and has two beautiful women by his side as we are heading in?
This Guy!

Like I said, This was a magical trip and I am so thankful that Otter invited Geranium and I to this event. Between this group of malcontents along with Otter and Mrs. Otter’s group of friends it was one helluva party. To those who couldn’t make it, you were missed.

Pictures of the Week (oh boy)

I am actually going to break this up into 2 pics of the week because if I am going to go to hell I don’t want to be judged because I also made fun of Christmas Trees. This past week was a wild one. I ran into Elegant Elliot twice, I saw a huge violation with the MTA and a bunch of wild stuff happened too! On a personal note, I love living in this city. It is quirky, weird, has strange people living here and it has embraced me with open arms.

IMG_2291I do love the “failing” media up here. Nothing is sacred!

IMG_2280Yes that is a bucket of KFC on the Queens Bound F Train

IMG_2241Soak it in Folks, Soak it in! Technically this dog is in compliance of being in a bag or kennel

IMG_2270And Here is LZ’s customer, I should have called these guys for the aforementioned picture

IMG_2224Very Strange to me, who can leave their clothes in the laundry room for 2 weeks and not need them. I would run out of undershirts after a week.

IMG_2267I love me some of this Little Brown Woman! She and I Snapchat all the time during Sunday Fundays

IMG_2290You know how wonderful it feels to have to purchase Suntan Lotion in December? Mexico bound next week!

IMG_2294Happy 5 years of having this little Monkey Head! I ran the Memphis Half Marathon 5 years ago and we went over to my dad’s house and they got her for me. They asked me what we should name her and this was the year the Mayan calendar was to end. I run a half marathon and the world should end – Hello Maya!

Be on the lookout for a noontime post! And have a good weekend!

Well that sucked – CBT survived a Nor’easter

I have said it numerous times; the weather in Dallas on Monday will be the same weather in Memphis on Tuesday and yep you guess it, it will be same in New York on Wednesday. This isn’t going to fit the above model.

Monday morning it was chilly here in New York to say the least. I didn’t really pay attention to the weather because everyone I know was too busy posting crap (pro and con) about the new President. I was heading out the door to meet a client and one of the doormen ask me if I have my umbrella. I ask him why because I had heard a couple times while I was showering; “Get ready for the Nor’easter this afternoon.”  I ask Paul what exactly a Nor’easter is and he tells me that it is rain or snow but with high winds. He failed to mention that it is also ball shrinking cold weather too!

So this afternoon we had some pretty brutal winds in Midtown East and the Upper East Side. Around 3PM we got some rain, I took a conference call at 4 and get done around 5:15. I walk out of the Atrium next to Trump Tower to head home and we have some pretty good rain coming down. Does anyone remember my post about Umbrella’s? I might as well have tacked a fucking sailboat sail to my ass because walking down Madison with an umbrella was useless.

Cutting to the chase, I say goodbye to S squared at 59th & Lex and take the 6 Train back to 68th street. By the time I got home to 1st Ave and 71st I looked like a drowned rat. I make my way into the lobby and one of the doormen looks at me and asks if this was my first Nor’easter. I tell him yes and what gave it away. He told me that it is easier just wearing a rain hat trench coat and rain boots.

So there I survived my first Nor’easter and I am not going to lie, they suck.

noreasterWearing a Puffy Coat and have to deal with an umbrella too? Oh.Hell.No.

windsThey don’t play with the winds up here. Think about Hurricane Elvis but with cold temps too!

il_570xn-613619868_mi29We have another one like yesterday and I am buying this sucker.

img_0226I get this snap from Mary G down in Belize. I hope she gets sand in her shorts.

Have a nice day and stay dry and warm!

 

 

Carbunkle Trumpet’s Trip Report – Change on the Island

“Oh it has been 3 years since your last visit; a lot has changed on the island.”

“Wait till you see the change on the island.”

“Get ready to see a bunch of changes on the island.”

“The island has changed, it isn’t the same.”

“They have ruined that island, it isn’t the same!”

Boy, some of you guys really know how to make one wonder what the hell they are getting into when they are heading back down below the 18th latitude. I hate to disappoint those of you who have tuned in to read me eviscerate the island but not much has changed in my humble opinion;

  • Marlon Brando still makes the best ‘Stress Captain’ cocktail and is always a delight to sit and talk to and also to catch up on the town’s gossip.
  • Jet Holland is still less than 5 feet tall and is peddling his ‘Best Rum Punch’ and Hot Dog at Belize International.
  • Pedro still speaks his mind whether you want to hear his opinion or not. In his defense when he gave me grief for not staying with him I reminded him that I was loyal to Mrs. Celi much like I was loyal to him and his pizza joint on the back end of the island. He appreciated my candor!
  • The Shrimp Sticks at Blue Water Grill still is the Bee’s knees!
  • After drinking 20 Belikin Beer one will get fur on their tongue.
  • Celi’s Deli still makes the best Chicken Tostada’s and the Best Black Bean Soup!
  • Alberto still to this day calls me “Buddy” and Elvi’s serves the best and very lethal Dirty Banana frozen drink.
  • Complete strangers say “Good Morning” to you as you walk by them.
  • Tia Chocolate is still my favorite little brown woman and makes me feel tall!

For those of you saying “Ok, smartass, we get it!” let me qualify something. Change is inevitable; if you don’t change then you will either become obsolete or you go out of business.  I work for a company that raises an eyebrow if the comment “We have always done it that way” is said because there is always room for improvement. Just imagine what would have happened if a US Gringo who married an Island girl didn’t say 39 years ago “I am going to fly people from the mainland to the island.” Where would San Pedro or Belize be if Tropic Air wasn’t born back in 1979?  Yes I am talking about John Grief but come on guys, isn’t the road north to Las Terazzas much better than potholes and puddles?  Was the traffic so horrible on the island that it drove me crazy? You are talking to a fucking New Yorker!! At least they aren’t honking their horns like they do here in Gotham. Sadly we can’t keep an island from growing just like we can’t keep a puppy or newborn from growing up.

I will admit that there are some things that I wasn’t crazy about but am I going to create Facebook pages and stage boycotts? Hell no, I am only on the island tops 2 weeks a year and unless I have skin in this game it isn’t my place to bitch. Do I plan on changing hotel accommodations on the island because I saw a couple billboards advertising a different resort….Nope. Do I think that there are WAY too many taxi’s on the island? Um have you visited New York City lately? There are more Ubers, Yellow Taxis, Black Sedans and other private for hire cars here than you can swing a dead cat at. I guess what I am getting to is that change, whether you like it or not, is a good thing. We won’t know if that change is going to help or hurt things on the island but if it brings more money to my friends who live in Belize then I say why not!

IMG_0849Now that we have 3 airports to do our bidding, I think we shall see this airport a couple more times in a year.

IMG_0843Here is our Guber (Golf Cart Uber) in Caye Caulker

IMG_0832They still put the bishop hat on the Belikin’s

IMG_0811Marlon Brando August still serving them up!

IMG_0797I know a certain person is looking down on us saying “God both of these two are short!”

IMG_0748Belize Construction Site

IMG_0745One of these days we are going to bring that woman up to New York! Love us some Tia Chocolate!