Umbrella 101

Pictures of the past weeks –

On a Monday? What gives Carbunkle, you get too juiced like a Ferrari this past weekend and forget to take your foam out and document the shenanigans? Actually it has been kind of boring up here as of late. Friday night we went over and drank wine at a friends house, Saturday we slept in till noon and that night we didn’t do anything. *Disclaimer – I am writing this Sunday morning as the wife and 2 dogs are sleeping* And Sunday we don’t really have any hard core plans other than chilling out on the couch watching the Grammys.

So here are some pictures that I have had on my photo reel for a couple weeks. As you can see it isn’t always fancy dinners and fancy drinks every night. Well I did have happy hour drinks with the Work Wife (the domestic one, not the international one) at Tommy Bahamas on 5th Avenue on Friday.

IMG_2612Coffee or Booze? Only I will know

IMG_2557This is just absurd. They have these cigars (the one on the right) at my Cigar joint. Who in the hell wants to smoke a 8 X 80 cigar. You put that thing in your mouth and you look like you are sucking on a (oh hey, look at the time) *The Ashton Churchill is next to it for scale and size*

IMG_2568We adopted one, we hated being the odd ones out so say hello to Carbunkle Elvis Trumpet Jr! We are kidding, this is the offspring of the Asian Fireman who we will always spoil and be nice to. That way when we get old we can have him wipe our butts.

IMG_2554I think the ambient temperature with the wind-chill outside is close to 5 degrees. Even New Jersey looks nice from inside.

IMG_2541I wonder why I am turning into a Fat Kid.

IMG_2614A K for a fucking stroller? F that! I will just go steal one that is parked outside of all the diners in the Upper East Side. In speaking to Lady Barrister the other night there are a couple outside of the hall in her building.

IMG_2608Rule Number 1 for anyone walking the streets of Manhattan – DO NOT FUCKING HAVE A UMBRELLA THAT IS BIGGER THAN THE WIDTH OF TWO PEOPLE!

IMG_2610Congrats to my friends on 10 years of running a successful bar in downtown Memphis. See you in April!

IMG_2613Come to work at (INSERT COMPANY NAME HERE) it will be fun they said………….. I am kidding, I do work for a great company but there are days that I wished my parents encouraged me to go to Medical School.

Have a good week folks and I promise to get my ass into gear.

Umbrella Decorum

We have had some annoying rain here in NYC for the past couple of days. You know the rain that I am talking about, it isn’t hard enough to mess with getting out the umbrella but when you get to your destination your clothes are  moist. (KC & LG, I had to go there, HAPPY FRIDAY) I have found out there are some umbrella rules that you better follow or prepared to get screamed at by an old lady;

  1. The umbrella that you use on the streets of Manhattan better be one of those smaller models and not for use on a golf course.
  2. When walking in traffic please exercise courtesy and tip your umbrella away from each other as to not poke people who are dumb enough not to use one.
  3. Those cheap models that they sell at the newspaper stands, they won’t withstand the breeze from a fart.
  4. On a 40MPH high wind and rainy day (like we had yesterday) be prepared to purchase a couple of umbrellas that day because you will have a blow out.

Unlike the University of Arkansas, it is strictly taboo to use one of those Golf Umbrellas in midtown, downtown or in the tourist districts. Seriously, tourists get yelled at for pulling this faux pas. Don’t be that guy…..

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Here is the one that I am using as of Friday, November 20th. I give it the Over/Under of 2 more rainstorms before she ends in the trash.

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As you can see it covers my head but with the rain we had yesterday, from my waist down was wet.

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Here is the umbrella that Mrs. Trumpet uses, she is fancy like that.

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This is an example of what NOT to use when in Midtown but here on the safe streets of the UES it is allowed. Especially when you are walking the Monkey Heads in a rainstorm.

IMG_9592My old Fraternity Brothers will get a kick out of this. Yes this umbrella by the grace of GOD has stayed with me since my days of being on the hill. I figured this would have been left at My Pleasure Bar and Grill one night during a “study session”

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Many Dead Soldiers here along 7th near 40th

Stay dry folks and have a good weekend.