UWS Holly

Carbunkle Trumpet Takes his show to the West Side

Sorry for the dead airspace, I have been kinda busy as of late. First of all, best of luck to UWS Holly as she heads ‘south of the border’ on Friday. We had a couple of Umqombothi’s last night to celebrate her new address. Anyway, now that Summer is over (literally I was debating wearing a puffy vest to the bar for Holly’s going away party) and the weather is supposed to be low 70’s this weekend I guess we will put those beach chairs away that we bought away for the winter.

This past Labor Day Weekend we had a couple crappy days of weather but decided to head over to the West Side for 2 reasons. One to head to Zabars Grocery on the West Side so that I could purchase a replacement gasket for my Eye-Talian coffee pot and to look around. And secondly because Mrs. Trumpet has never visited Zabars so we decided to make it a family trip.

Once again Zabars did not disappoint as we walked up and down the aisles avoiding the throngs of people trying to get a ‘smidgen’ of smoked mussels from what I hear is “To Die For!” After deciding that we could not afford the FDNY fine for having an open flame in the UES for a proper grilling party we headed further north. So you have heard us talk about the Murphranks right? So Lady Barrister went to undergrad at Columbia on the UWS so we decided to give that a look. We understand that they have a pretty good football team and are in the hunt for the National Championship. Funny thing is that we never found a football stadium but the Quad was pretty effin sweet.

I hear that they can beat Bama…..

IMG_1569So I have lived here for 2 years so I needed a new pair of “hipster hooves” as Mrs. Trumpet calls them. She is just jealous that I am not as puffy. #prayforRobo

IMG_1551Look above the bottled Water on that cart – You see that people have ordered charcoal to be delivered in the UWS. Where are they doing this grilling? Can a brother get an invite? Hello…..Is this effing thing on?

IMG_1570Have you ever tried to walk through Zabar’s grilling section with a raging hard-on? That was me this past Saturday…

IMG_1573Ahem RJ – You may need to check on the Asian Fireman. He is either slipping, cleaning the guest house, or preparing for Lightbulb. I gave him a reminder on my Quality Check. #robocares

IMG_1571The Walk of Champions at Columbia University

IMG_1572No that is not the Jefferson Monument in DC – That is the library at Columbia

142988855028617067891128_f27ec907fc_b-720x480So we also ventured to Streetbird. I don’t know if you have heard of a guy by the name of Marcus Samuelsson and his visit to Memphis but he had a blast. We figured that we would give him equal props. Blog Post to follow later.

IMG_1575Here you go you Gluten Free/BBQ Grill hating Work Husband Bastard. Hope you had a great poop because of these. FYI – These taste like shit.

Have a good day and Best of Luck to my Bar wife as she expels a child today!

 

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Pictures from the Week – Redneck Riviera Style!

I have one more thing to say about this pasts week trip but I am behind the 8 ball and heading to Philly for the annual Northeast BBQ extravaganza. We missed the Philly Boogie Down 2 years ago because “we were busy packing for our move to New York City!” *that still feels weird typing that*

Anyway have a good weekend, wish me luck. I am going to be drinking with my boy RJ. If we get him juiced like a Ferrari we may find someone to perform that vasectomy this weekend.

IMG_1266Friday night before we left for LA we went to the Cyclones game

IMG_1269The Park out on Coney Island is nice

IMG_1278You can’t beat the beaches on OBA

IMG_1282No I didn’t take this pic to be a perv (I made Mrs. Trumpet take it) these girls came out at sunset for the perfect light and spent 45 minutes taking selfies and snapchats. Naturally I photobombed one of them and they wanted my Instagram handle. I declined because I didn’t want to be a hashtag. #creepyolddrunkguy

IMG_1287These guys took 1:45 to set up everything. I timed them as I smoked my morning cigar.

IMG_1292Want to make a 9yo talk to you. Take their picture, post it on Instagram and then they will ask you how many likes they got. *do me a favor, find this pic in my Instagram feed and like it would you? L(squared) will get a kick out of it if we top 100

IMG_1297J-Bob – “How Many Cigars you going to smoke Uncle CBT?”
Me – “How many times you going to ask me stupid questions kid?”

IMG_1259Kitty came in town before we left out and we got to spend some time with her.

IMG_1303If you look above the “R” in Pershing you see the blonde in the red top? UWS Holly was trying to play Paparazzi on the sunset. I saw it and texted it to her. I told her that this is what happens when you venture on the east side of 5th Avenue.

Have a good weekend and we will see you on Monday.

What do you do for groceries?

You would be surprised how many times we get asked that question. I swear that some people think that just because we don’t have a car or Kroger in Midtown we are starving up here. Granted we do have a grocery store right across the street but I am not a fan of Anal Rape and don’t like paying 100 bucks for 4 items that should cost 20 bucks in the suburbs.

We do have Fresh Direct and Peapod food delivery services but they don’t carry everything so we are forced to go out to hunt and gather. The Morton Williams across the street is ok for things you need in a pinch but they cost more than Whole Foods or a bodega and I prefer Fairways Grocery. A couple of weeks back my former boss, Ernie Mellor, posted a Grilled Corn and Butter Bean summer salad that we used to enjoy. I was craving that so I decided on Sunday morning I would venture up to E86th Street to get provisions. Now the Fairways is about 18 blocks away and schlepping groceries isn’t the easiest in New York if you don’t have a buggy. I bought one a couple years ago and it is great for carrying stuff to and from.

I jump on the Q to E86th street and thankfully the store wasn’t mobbed as one would normally expect. I credit this to lots of people being out of town and that it was rather early in the morning. I get my groceries and lug my cart back to the apartment and get to work on grilling some corn and make the salad. Dinner was excellent by the way.

IMG_1172Here is the recipe for those of you New Yorkers who wish to have something different.

IMG_1179Here is my little Cart while we wait for the Sunday Subway schedule

IMG_1180Fairly Quiet on E86th Street this morning.

IMG_1181Front of the store on E86th Street

IMG_1182Prepared Fruits Section

IMG_1195I knew that the little clip I picked up at Home Depot would come in handy. I can hang my buggy on the shopping cart.

IMG_1196The Produce Section is killer here.

IMG_1197Anybody need 40 pounds of Garlic?

IMG_1198This joint has a serious Butcher and Fish Monger Station.

IMG_1199Not going to lie there are about 20 different species of fish that I am not familiar with when I come here

IMG_1200A Casino Clam?

IMG_1203Went with Crab Cakes in honor of some former Memphian’s that are now new Baltimorean residents

IMG_1202Oh Look, the Gluten Haters have their own section.  Yep, I am going to take some shit from UWS Holly for this one. I have always poked fun of Gluten Free people and or Vegetarians saying that they were the new Al Qaeda because people used it as the new diet. UWS Holly actually is gluten intolerant and can’t digest it. Personally that sucks because who doesn’t love Jiffy Cornbread? Oh yeah, I am getting a text message for this one.

IMG_1201They love some Goya Canned Vegetables up here. Would it kill you to carry the Glory Brand?

IMG_1210Joker is packed to the gills ready to head back to E71st Street.

IMG_1211Here comes the Q Train

IMG_1212Just one subway stop. There were lots of people heading to Midtown to the Pride Parade

IMG_1213Taking Stairs with this cart is a pain in the ass. Thankfully they have lots of escalators on the new Second Avenue Subway line.

IMG_1214Finished the Corn and Butter Bean Salad (used a different version of cherry tomatoes to give it a different color)

Note to self – You are a fool if you don’t use one of the grocery delivery services for having bottled water, mixers or other heavy ass items delivered to your door.

 

 

 

Have you ever seen a grown man sing “I want your sex” wearing Ass Less Chaps and a banana hammock on Good Friday?

Oh did I get your attention with that blog post? Well yes, it did happen to me this past Friday. Sorry folks but I don’t have enough time to really tell you about this. I am kinda bizzy but I wanted to make sure that I made a post on Easter Monday.

Oh and yes here are the pictures for you sick bastards.

IMG_0686Thanks to UWS H for the pics. I am sure she spit her drink out when I asked her last night for these pictures.

IMG_0688Soak it in there folks, soak it in. I have tried to drink enough Vodka this weekend to get this image out of my head and it hasn’t work.

Shout out to SBM on her first day of school in Baltimore. You got this!