Waffle House

While in the South….

One should always pay proper homage to their southern roots. What does this mean folks???? A trip to the FloraBama and Waffle House!

Recall when Sean Brock and Anthony Bourdain went to Waffle House and these words were muttered?

“You don’t come here expecting the French Laundry,” Brock says. “You come here expecting something amazing.” “This is better than the French Laundry,” Bourdain replies.

No disrespect to Thomas Keller (Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names – Cover your eyes) but in the south the Waffle House kicks the shit out of French Laundry and twice on Sunday Morning! After a quick trip to the Florabama RJ and I asked our driver if they would drop us off at the Waffle House for a small meal. We arrived just before midnight and after a brief wait were ushered to a seat at the counter.

In proper respect to Sean Brock & Bourdain, I ordered a Pecan Waffle as an appetizer which puzzled RJ and settled for the 2 eggs fried, Scattered, Smothered, Covered X 2, Bacon and toast breakfast. I believe that RJ chowed down on a Philly Breakfast plate but when I recalled looking over there it was gone!

Maria – is there a Waffle House around these parts? I see a couple in PA.

The Florabama was warm and very GOP’ish to say the least!
Talk about a dick move by the Florabama. You ain’t in Brooklyn Bitch, you in the South!
It is about to go down!
Yes Please
The Nerve Center of Waffle House – The kitchen
Now that I look at this sober I realize we got screwed!
Oh my Cholesterol is hitting high Triple digits!
RJ’s Plate – Now I know why he was singing Ring of Fire the next morning – Jalapeno Peppers!
Wonder why I was so thirsty!
I am ashamed of the bill. It was high!
The Next morning I had a party scar and I was eating Imodium like it was Pez

Again apologies to Jenn for forgetting the hashbrowns in the Uber. I blame RJ for leaving it!

Get Up Boys, We Are Going To Dine At An Epicurean Institution!

So I returned from The Redneck Riviera the other night. The trip was fun and it was great spending time with family and seeing some friends while in LA (Lower Alabama). One morning I awoke and decided that it was time to broaden the gastric horizon of my two nephews. I slapped them on the leg as they lay on the couch and told them to get dressed as we were going to have breakfast. One of the nephews wasn’t sure what the hell I was talking about but they both agreed since I told them that they didn’t have a choice.

Now you have heard my past foodie exploits here in New York; Dinner at Per Se (twice), Blue Hill at Stone Barns, Peter Lugar (twice), and a number of other great eating establishments. Now sadly New York does not have the Gastric destination that you can find everywhere south of the Mason Dixson line (or I haven’t found it yet) that is pretty much a staple in the Gulf Coast. The destination that I speak of you ask…..Mudda Effin Waffle House!

One cannot become a food snob without a deep admiration for the Waffle House. I mean just look at the cult classic move “Tin Cup”;

Molly: I’ve got money from the bet. Let’s go somewhere fancy and celebrate.
Roy: There’s nothing to celebrate. Besides, these are my people. I’m a Waffle House guy. Got to stay in touch with that.

Who can’t argue with that logic? I mean they serve Waffles, Eggs, and have a secret code for ordering hash browns. So I take the boys for Waffles and naturally I take control and order some Pecan Waffles for the table as an appetizer. They look at me like I have 3 heads. I order my breakfast of 2 eggs medium, side of bacon, toast, hash browns scattered, smothered and DOUBLE covered for my entrĂ©e. Shout out to the Neighbor on telling me about double covered (extra cheese) on my hashbrowns.  Naturally I can’t leave the table without a proper dessert so I order a big ole glass of Ice Cold Whole Milk.

*Pro Tip – It helps having 2 teenagers with you so you don’t look like the gluttonous pig that you really are because they only ordered simple breakfasts.

maxresdefaultYou have to appreciate that Bourdain ate at a Waffle House

IMG_1289I mean who doesn’t love a menu that also doubles as your placemat

IMG_1290I have no shame, I ate the entire effin meal!

 Have a good one and if you are near a Waffle House swing by and pour some syrup out for those who can’t eat there.