Work Wife

Operation M(Squared)

My former work wife (the domestic one) moved up to middle management and has her a nice corner office in the Garment District. I would visit her from time to time and noticed that she had 3 picture frames but no pictures in it. I would suggest to her some options but she has other things going and never got around to it.

Last week she had to head to the head office for training. Who knew that selling tourists tickets to those double decker buses in Times Square needed so much managing and training. She was gone all week but last Friday I was going to be in the office for some training as well. Since she knows that #robocares I figured I would take it upon myself to put in some pictures in her picture frames for her. DISCLAIMER – I did text her husband prior to me doing this and he was on board.

I was 50-50 on using a Jeff Goldbloom picture or going with another gem of Christopher Walken. M(Squared) needs to up her street cred.
I think the pic of me and her husband will probably get a lot of people asking questions.

I think she liked my effort at re-decorating her office.

Advertisements

Where do you come up with these names?

Sorry for the delay in posting. I was busy last week because we had a long weekend to the Midwest for a wedding and I am getting back into the swing of things. Oh that and Mary Louise is +13 hours ahead of me in Japan so I am running this household all by myself. What pisses me off is that Mary Louise won’t tell me the Final Jeopardy answers since she is a day ahead of me. I hate to tell RJ but I think that she has found a new Sushi Buddy.

While we were in the Midwest this past weekend I had a couple of my readers of this worthless dribble ask me; “Where do you come up with the names of the people you interact with?” Naturally I “change the names to protect the innocent or non-sober” but some of the Mo-Ho’s were asking me how I created their names. Let me give you some insight into some of the players you read on this worthless dribble;

  • Mary Louis/Mrs. Trumpet – Thanks To Vivian Longstreet, she penned this because it is her soap opera name. She is also a perfume designer.
  • Maria – She keeps her name because she is my trusted consigliere and quite frankly she knows where all the bodies are buried. Seriously, has anyone seen Trucker Jim or Box of Rocks lately? I rest my case.
  • The Work Wife, The International One – Well she is a work friend and that is what she does
  • The Work Wife, The Domestic One – Currently Vacant
  • The Work Wife, The Managing One – See “Work Wife, The Domestic One” because she got a promotion.
  • The Asian Fireman – Well his last name is Lee so you do the math here.
  • Mr. 3 First Names – What can I say, this Staten Island resident has 3 first names in his first and last names.
  • Lady Barrister/Landlord – It is what she does and she is the landlord to Mr 3 first names
  • Z Squared – Couples name for 2 people whose last names start with Z (this isn’t rocket science folks)
  • UWS Holly – Someone names Holly who may live in the Upper West Side?
  • Baby Fine Hair (Haven’t spoken about her lately) but this person uses a shampoo that is specifically for people with Baby Fine hair. Hey it is better than me calling her “Person with a Mongoloid Foot Tattoo”!

Now this past weekend at this wedding we attended a new nickname was created. No it wasn’t from my (So in need of therapy) brain. It was from her own Flesh and Blood…..

With that, and I will do a proper blog post on the wedding and weekend. Congrats to Baby Fine Hair and Kristina on their wedding this past weekend!!!!

IMG_4270Hey don’t blame me Kiki (what I used to call Kristina before this weekend) blame your brother! Congrats and we were so happy to share with you your special day!

For those of you who weren’t in St. Louis the Celebrant (the bride on the left’s brother) when announcing the names of the newly married instead of saying K—n inserted his own wife’s name, Kristina, by mistake. Me I am going to roll with it!

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot Carbunkle?

Stop yelling at me, you are probably going to see fewer posts between now and the middle of May. No I am not doing some weird Post Lent purge, momma is nearing the end of her NYU Grad School so the laptop is in full use. Anyway we really haven’t been doing much as of late *BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING COLD* I mean seriously, we have had 4 Nor’Easters and this Sunday is the start of Seersucker Suit Season!

I do have a future coffee shop blog post/rant about 4 C-Word Upper East Side hard working housewives as I sat next to them at 80th and Lexington. Let’s just say that they might as well have been wearing tennis skirt outfits and or Lulumon leggings as pants. This past weekend was kinda lame but we have new iFoams and it only took me 5 hours to get that done on Sunday.

And as we know this week is Holy Week or as Julian Maile from Losers Lounge said on Good Friday last year “So Jesus died today but he will be back in 3 days. Pretty much anything goes!”

Happy Easter Folks!

IMG_2863When we do get out of our cages we do come up on some really cool shit! This is Grand Central Station as we were walking with my Work Wife (the Domestic One) so she could catch her train home.

IMG_2862The Real and the Domestic One! S/O to the Bar, International, Memphis and HW/AMF wives.

IMG_2856I mean seriously folks! This was taken last Thursday. I saw that the folks in Memphis were bitching about it being hot.

IMG_2858I seriously laughed out so loud that I had scalding hot espresso come out my nose.

IMG_0924Easter for the longest time was always trips down to Destin. I do miss some Peeps Jousting! IMG_2872

Happy Easter Spud!

And to quote RAB – “I can’t wait for you to tell me on Sunday that the bread is ready!”