File this away as “Oh Hell Naw, you didn’t!”

Sorry it is cropped, I am not that great at stealing pics off the internet

Ah, springtime in New York City. The days are getting longer, the cherry blossoms at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden are blossoming, and the disgusting subway perverts are emerging from the shadows to take stealth photos of your underwear. Greatest city in the world!

According to a new ad campaign from the Manhattan District Attorney’s office, the NYPD is cracking down on “upskirting” just in time for the weather to get warm enough to go tights-less. The D.A. has released a slew of ads meant to raise awareness about the creepy dudes in places like Union Square and Grand Central who sneakily take photos up women’s skirts. 

Photo: New York County District Attorney’s Office

Photo: New York County District Attorney’s Office

Photo: New York County District Attorney’s Office

Are shitting me? I was going to go with a post today about Greenwich Village but I had to fire up the Commodore 64 and bang this out this morning. I mean this bothers me on about 3 different levels;

  1. You mean to tell me that the District Attorney’s office of the state of New York has an ad campaign warning women about be on the lookout for perverts? Oh well I remember when Memphis had the “Say to No to just the tip” billboard campaign in Frasier about teenage pregnancy. Still this really is creepy.
  2. Ok, I get that you there is some woman who is going to wear a short skirt in the work environment but why in the hell do you disclose the areas that are prone to catch views of up skirts? Just put some extra police presence in those areas and catch the smart phone wielding perverts.
  3. You mean to tell me that if I encounter a dude with a camera on his shoe taking pics up a skirt I can’t “help him cross the street” into an oncoming cross town bus? And deep down I hope that ‘said’ bus backs up a couple times? (kind of a 180 from a guy who talked about Karma but it is after all election day)

So I guess I now have to add this to my list of ‘subway bingo’ that I play in my head on a daily basis. I recall way back in the day back when I was 5 foot 6 inches tall (still current height) and in the 7th grade. There was one of my classmates who would either ‘drop’ his  pencil on a daily basis or even went so far to put a mirror on his bluchers to sneak a peak of the girls in our class who were already onto him and wore shorts under their jumpers. (SDS, KCF, JSH you happen to remember who did it? I am down to one brain cell and can’t place him)

Anyway, if you encounter or see such a pervert, drop a dime on his ass. I mean what do you think the internet is for? No wonder Playboy and Penthouse are dying on vine, we got sick-o’s taking up skirt pics on the 4&5 Trains. In closing try to keep those Karma thoughts flowing (see what I did there KLC Man) and do what CBT did back in the day.

Back when I was working in Memphis my female counterpart or work wife’s desk faced mine in an office of 5 people. One day I guess she didn’t want to wear her yoga pants and her BBQ Fest t-shirt so she wore this V neck sweater wrap top that pretty much was designed for a flat chested female. During the course of the day things got a little loose up there and at one point I look up and she was showing some fairly significant cleavage. I get on my phone and text her “Hey Tits McGee, holster those things would ya? I appreciate it and all considering I haven’t seen a nipple in 3 years but if you don’t fix yourself I may break the streak!” *editor’s note – She was wearing a bra so it wouldn’t have gotten to that point. But for those of you who know the back story on the nipple with me you are probably rolling on the floor, for those who don’t just chalk it up to me not having enough coffee*

Have a good day folks and Happy NY Election Day!