Rockaway Beach

Maya Takes Her First Ferry Ride From “Not” Yolanda

First of all, shout out to our newest Sailing Companion for Greece 2023. “Baby in the Corner” got slipped a roofie yesterday at some old fucker’s birthday party and agreed to charter her own Catamaran to sail with us. We are excited to welcome her and her party while we are on the “Non Swinger” boat. Love to see you Baby in the Corner. Yes you are now a ‘character’ in the worthless Dribble. Also shout out to Rhino (he already had a nickname) and Mrs. Rhino. You see they are about to send two twin girls to college and those beautiful girls want to attend Southern Major Universities. They also are booking on this second Catamaran that will be on “Funny Talking Boat”. Maria can we tempt you to come with is next Mid October to Greece?

I realize that I have some back stories to post. Living down here in the Financial District really has some benefits. Way back when, we were looking for a place to live when we were getting kicked out of Coleman Tower in the UES was the Financial District. At the time I don’t think that 20 Broad was ready for rental. I recall when I was selling tickets for the double decker busses for the downtown team that it was under construction. I will get into the perks of living down here on another post .

So Maya our furbaby (Check her out on IG at @Maya_in_nyc or TikTok at @Maya_in_nyc) needs some more followers. So Maya needs grooming every 6 to 8 weeks to keep her April fresh. Before we moved to New York we used Yolanda the Memphis groomer from Midtown. We loved her because she was great for Maya, Maddy, and Lizzie. When we moved to New York we decided to get her groomed right before moving. That was smart because we found out very quickly that for 2 dogs the cost in Memphis-$60 with tip ballooned up to $150 and you better tip 20% or your next appointment may be cancelled by accident.

Our first grooming was a beautiful thing, they went to Doggie Beauty Camp (not the real name) but wasn’t a good fit. I mean our dogs don’t need bows or a fancy baby headband for necklaces. I do acknowledge that we could groom our own dogs but have you ever expressed an Anal Gland? Yeah that ain’t happening and I ain’t cutting toe nails either. So the next time we found Marissa. Marissa was a little cheaper and she nailed the first hair cut so we spoke each others language. When I say ‘spoke’ that is somewhat funny. Marissa was from a former Communistic country but we felt a bond with “Not Yolanda”. “Not Yolanda” had a picture of Willie Nelson on her window in the UES so she was our girl. She has been grooming our babies ever since. What makes her great is that she has moved to and from a lot of different grooming houses yet she always makes sure she tells us that she is moving.

Currently she is now working on the Upper West Side but she last saw Maya on the Upper East Side/Yorkville at 85th and York. To get there we would need to take a 4/5 up to 86th and transfer to the Crosstown bus to York from Lexington. This was fine but Maya isn’t crazy about the bus. She hates the “Pssssst” sound the air brakes make so I had to figure something else to get her home. I am still pissed off at Uber now because of the ‘bending us over the table and going 3 knuckles deep ‘with their car charges. Currently Yellow Cabs are much cheaper and unless you are in a borough or on a remote part of Manhattan (like York and mid 80’s) It is hard to catch a yellow over in Yorkville but then I remembered the Ferry stop is not to far away. Also the hacks took a beating during Covid so I grab them all the time now.

Since I had to find an alternate route to get Maya home I checked the Ferry schedule. We could make the trip to walk over there and enjoy the ride. Below are our pictures and Maya totally Dug it.

Being down on Wall Street Pier 11 we can get to the Beach within Reach and all over the eastern side of Manhattan

Again, we will follow ”Not Yolanda’ all over the 5 boroughs. Once you find a good groomer, Hair person, Nail Tech, Massage Person, Barber you keep them on speed dial and take care of them.

Quick walk over to the West Side Highway by Gracie Mansion and grab the Sound View from East 90th

NY Subways have a rule that dogs/pets have to be in a self contained bag Not the case for the NY Ferry’s. This is Maya’s Subway bag and she likes it because it is shallow enough to stand and peek out. She hated her Trader Joe bag because she has little legs.

Maya was saying – “Wait I know that area, you made me walk in a thunderstorm to see the rain bands on Roosevelt Island. This is by the hospital and ‘Treat Pete’ (doorman who gave all dogs treats) and I like it down there. Except for the rain storm.

I am digging this Wind and sun. Its like we were in the car and you rolled down all the windows.

Maybe next time we go to Rockaway Beach next summer we will take her with us. Seriously come see us between now and May of 2023. We will probably get priced out of this place so moving again.

The Best of New York by Carbunkle Trumpet

Another subtitle of this post should be “Your sisters ass! That is not the best!” because I am going to get some potential comments from the peanut gallery.

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend and that nobody is learning how to open up ketchup bottles with their elbows or feet. I came up with this post a couple of years ago and I figured that given we have moved 4 times in almost 7 years I have a ‘fair’ understanding of some of the “Best of New York” So lets get into shall we…

The Best Bagels in New York (Might as well upset the apple cart right off the bat) with this category.

There are some who say that H&H is the best.
There are some who say that Best Bagels on 37th Street is Number One
Staten Island Sam swears that there is a bagel joint over on the island of Staten that is worth taking the ferry.
Former NY/NJ resident San Pedro Scoop swears by Murrays in Chelsea.
Other notables are Tompkins Square, Tal Bagels, and Bagel Works in the UES
However, I feel that the fellas over at Smith Street Bagels in Cobble Hill Brooklyn edge everyone out by a hair. Make sure you order – Everything Bagel, NOT Toasted, Scooped, Scallion Cream Cheese, Add Lox, Red Onion and a bottle of Hal Seltzer. (You are welcome)

Best Deli/Sandwich Shop for a Hoagie/Hero (I am not debating the name here folks)

Defonte’s in Red Hook Brooklyn (first lunch I ever had in New York) is right up there. So good
Katz, Pastrami Queen, Ben’s Kosher – I could spend hours on this this one.
I tried Pisillo Italian Panini on Nassau Street and that also is a good one as well.
Tourists swear by Rupert Jee’s Hello Deli next to the Ed Sullivan thanks to David Letterman but I have not tried it.
I have not been there but Cugine swears by John’s Deli in Brooklyn. Same for Federoffs Roasted Pork in Brooklyn.
I am not even looping Lenwich or Pot Belly into this category, stay in your lane.
But in my Humble Opinion down in the West Village is Fiacco’s On Bleeker street is the Best. The Italian Hero is so good as well as the Chicken Cutlet, Fresh Mozzarella and Roasted Red Peppers. Also if they have the Roast Beef with Broccoli Rabe get that as well.

Best Place to Take Out of Towners on the Cheap (if you have one that I missed please speak up)

Staten Island Ferry (hear me out Mr. 3 First Names before you blow up my phone) for cheap 2X4’s of beer that you can drink on board and you get a great view of the Statue of Liberty and lower Manhattan.
Long Island City over in Queens or take the Tram to Roosevelt Island – here you can get killer views of midtown Manhattan and it is a very nice place to walk around.
Double Decker Buses originating from Times Square – We have done this a couple times and I have to say you get an audio tour of Manhattan as you travel either uptown or downtown. You can also hop off but I would suggest you don’t because you almost never get back on the bus.
Times Square/Brooklyn Bridge – if you have to go there then do it in the morning when the crowds are not as prevalent. And yes Native New Yorkers despise going into Times Square. Probably at the height of the pandemic it was so strange to see it so empty.
Again I could go on for hours but I think that (and you have to study up) but when the Metropolitan Museum of Art has a special you should go during the summer and check out the rooftop on a Friday.

Best Dive or otherwise Classic New York Institution Bar (so going to take shit for this one from SO many) Now this category is very dear to my heart because I love me a good Dive Bar. The translation of a dive bar can be loosely categorized but to me dim lighting and a certain je ne sais quoi of the smell makes a dive bar. Oh and cash only bars too!

Rudy’s in Hell’s Kitchen – Look for the pig on 9th Avenue and get a free hotdog
Jimmy’s Corner in Times Square (yes I am going big balls here folks) best cheap drinks in Manhattan and thank God his son kept Jimmy’s open after we lost him to Covid.
Iggy’s in the UES – spent many a time in this one folks. It reminds me of Max’s Sports Bar but on Steroids. Oh and they have Karaoke at night too!
Billy Mark’s West – Bourdain loved this place
Subway Inn – Another Bourdain favorite and very good at Buy Backs.
Nancy Whisky Pub in Chelsea – My 6’9″ fraternity brother and I solved a lot of problems in this bar before Covid.
If you find yourself out on Rockaway make sure you swing by Connolly’s for a frozen drink.
Hanks in Brooklyn (NOW CLOSED) this place was great but they moved it to a new location and naturally you can’t re-create that dive bar feel.
Brooklyn Ice House in Red Hook or Sunny’s Bar also in Red Hook – really good dive bar
Old Town Tavern – Not so much a dive bar but a great NY institution. Old School bartenders who don’t mince words.
The Campbell – In Grand Central Station – just bring lots of cash
I literally could go on for hours and not even have to text Mr. 3 First Names or Lady Barrister for the names of the others I have forgotten so here goes. Best Dive Bar has to be Milano’s on Houston Street for that classic Beer and a Shot. Now for New York Institution I have a tie (one stole the concept from the other one so they are the same) and it goes to The Commissioner in Park Slope and Whisky Tavern in Chinatown. You can’t beat them and the staff is always on top of their game.

Best Pulled Pork, Ribs, BBQ Chicken, Sausage & Cheese Plate in New York

There isn’t one, the same can be said for finding the best bagel in Memphis TN.
No seriously, there isn’t and the same can be said for Cajun food, I have not found any that are as good as in NOLA.

So how are we doing folks? You ready to see an all out war of comments on my social Media Pages? So without further adieu Best Pizza (Slice or Whole) in New York.

Joe’s (multiple locations) have plenty of tourists flocking to them for a simple slice
John’s of Bleeker – whole pizza only and this is a good one as well.
I have heard a lot of people talk about Rizzo’s in Astoria Queens but have not been there yet. Yo Stagie and Tater’s Mom can you confirm this for me please?
Now our trusted Consigliere Maria swears by her beloved DiFara in Midwood Brooklyn and I have had this and it is a good one for sure.
Whit’s End in Rockaway is a good one, quirky but good.
Same for Grotto Pizza down the street from us but there can only be one at the top.
I have to thank our former doorman Luciano for this suggestion but NY Pizza Suprema tucked right behind MSG gave us the best slice and whole pie. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

No comments about the ketchup on my hotdog, I was at a weak moment in my life.

Hey Kid, get the F out of here with that Crap!

So feel free to let me know your thoughts, obviously I didn’t go too deep in the Best of the Best but I hope that you had a fun read.

Merry New Year!

Ironic that I use that stolen phrase from “Trading Places” given that we live right next to the New York Stock Exchange. Don’t worry this isn’t going to be one of those “Year in Review” or “2021 can suck it” that I have been seeing lately. This year was about gratitude, humility, patience, hope, and because I am still on this side of the grass the year wasn’t a bust. Oh and if you think my big ass is going to be in the gym tomorrow morning sweating to Ally Love on a Peloton forget it. We are going to try to live healthier and since the dog decided it wanted to stay in a 24/7 Animal Hospital in Brooklyn for 3 days we are also going to be saving some money. The dog is fine but now very expensive if you weigh her by the pound.

I was having dinner with one of my stalkers who happens to live on the Left Coast and she remarked that I haven’t been putting much out on this worthless dribble. I kind of told her that when you don’t do a lot the material is kinda stale. Also given that I am a creature of habit, you could almost set a clock to my actions and or event attendance. So that is something that I am also going to work on. Anyway, here is to a good and safe New Year to my dozen or so readers and be careful out there.

My Hell’s Kitchen Cigar Buddies. I do still head uptown to share a smoke with them.

You know this isolation thing isn’t half bad. I got to sleep in the bedroom and nobody stole my covers or snored. By the way Geranium Tested negative so I was the only Covid Christmas Casualty.

Made our way to Raoul’s a couple of times this year. Also happy to hear that they are expanding across the street putting in a burger place. They put out a damned good Burger by the way.

My Windy City Pool Buddy came in town this winter, so we got to see her. And no comments on the number of chins I am sporting. Holy Bad Selfie Angle Batman!

Again thank you to LawCutie and R for the tickets. We need to make a trip out to Sacramento to come see you. Love you guys.

To say that we were so happy to be back at Joe’s Pub for a Losers Lounge Show is an understatement.

I may be biased but I got to say, the New York Stock Exchange Tree is prettier than the Rock’s tree.

We are glad this little fluffball is back at home with us. Her ass is going to start an Only Fan’s Page or bum for money on the corner.

Made a Trip to Portland Maine and Cape Cod this Fall. Can’t wait for the Lady Killer to open this up at Christmas Gift Exchange in February.

Oh She is going to Kill Me for posting this. It was great finally meeting all our Prison Pen Pals at Sid Gold.

So I will see you here more frequently and of course “Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” we all know it was Elvis who did it.

The Sun of a Beach is 60! Rhino’s Birthday at the Beach!

Happy Birthday Rhino! We were so happy to celebrate this party that we drove 16 hours from Memphis just to attend the Birthday party. That is what Rhino was telling his family and Rockaway friends yesterday. We had to end up telling them that we did indeed drive 16 hours but that was 5 years ago.