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If you know the past….

You can predict the future.

Yes I have said that quote a million times.  I am not sure who originally said it but it speaks volumes. Case in point was very evident this past week. I was away from NYC last week for some training. God Bless my Staten Island brother from another mother for holding the foam in my absence, he was busy. During breaks I would check email and I got a lot of “the double decker tour bus didn’t pick me up” or “the double decker bus was late or early” messages and I didn’t have a clue. Was NYC & the Upper East Side falling apart because I was in the land of Delta Blues? What gives?

It wasn’t until I got an email from the Tour Bus director on Tuesday late that it made sense. With the United Nations General Assembly and the heightened security from the Chelsea bombings on the prior Saturday night there would be additional road closures and traffic delays on the East Side. You see, our tour busses were getting stuck in traffic so we ran our schedules a couple hours earlier to meet the demand of tourists. I passed this information over to those clients who were emailing me and the majority of them were ok with it. There were some who didn’t appreciate it. My response was simple to those foreign tourists; I am sorry that my country is making your bus late, bring it up with the NYPD & Homeland Security.

I have one client who normally picks up his tour bus near 3 foreign embassies/consulates and they weren’t having any of this. I get back into Gotham Thursday night and planed to visit them on Friday morning. I wanted to do a joint day with another Tour Bus ticket seller on Friday but she bagged me for sweat pants and was going to WFH (work from home) so back to the suit I went.  I get to the clients location and seriously this person is pissed. I ask them to walk outside with me. I point down the street to one of the Forign embassies on his block and ask him if they see the officers wearing riot gear and holding the long guns. I (nicely as I can and with a southern accent) tell my client that they should voice their complaint to them. He calms down and I asked him if this is his first UN General Assembly tour. He tells me he has been here for 10 years. “You weren’t here when the Pope was in town last year?” was my question and he then admitted to overacting.

Going back to the title of this worthless dribble…. This behavior reminds me of living in Memphis. The folks who bitch each year about Memphis in May, River Arts Festival, Cooper Young, and Southern Folk Festival. You have two options; leave town or pipe down! Sure it is a pain in the ass but you have to deal with it.  Bitching won’t help your cause and it’s only a week, enjoy the distraction of sirens, bike rack and State Department folks walking around speaking into their sleeves.

img_5316Black SUV and blacked out windows with running boards…Must be a Secret! Yes they get their own lane on the double streets.

What the Feck….Is that a Prevost on the Curb…What Drunk ass parked that on E67th Street…..Oh wait (you can’t see it from this pic) there is a Diplomat plate on the front of that bus. And yes that is the Ukraine Embassy to the right of the bus.

It is not like they didn’t’ warn us that this shit was going to happen. Yes the actions that happened 2 Saturdays ago didn’t help and they did add more closures but get over it! Either you like it or you move somewhere else!

Yes, I have no shame in Tyson’ng a visit with a Food Celeb. By the way W. Askew, B. Duffel, and A. Tyson – I will have many Vodka’s with Zamir one of these days! It will happen! Just give me time!

Enjoy the week, Love one another, Hug a stranger, and by the way quit bitching about the stuff you can’t control. Nobody wants to hear that noise.

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Don’t pay the ransom…..

Apologies to my 6 readers, I was away at training and didn’t have much time to do anything else. Thank you to all our friends and family across the globe who checked in on us following the Chelsea bombings. Sadly these are times that we live in now. To our friends in Charlotte; be safe and here is to hoping that cooler heads will prevail. 

Go do a random act of kindness today. Tell a stranger Good Morning, or open a door for them, better yet just give someone a fistbump. We are all living on this island, rock, world together and we need to start acting better.


Taken by an honorary member of the Pipes & Drums on 9/11

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A “Radio’s own” Drake Hall Rant on Sunday

Excuse me because I am going to break my normal format and get on my soapbox for a moment. Today is September 11th, the 15th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I traditionally don’t post things on Sunday yet ‘pre-load’ some blogs that I publish during the week. I get that a lot of my readers, all 6 of you, read this worthless dribble during the week at lunch on your PDA at your desk, or bathroom. I am ok with it; I just appreciate that you click on it. This morning I have in the background the TV while they are reading the names of those who died 15 years ago. Yes, my eyes are damp, show me a person who can’t let their emotions get to them on this day.

Today is a day that most New Yorkers who were living here 15 years ago would like to forget. I know this firsthand because I have met and spoken to a lot of them during the past year. I am not going to get into that but I respect them and acknowledge that yes this wasn’t New York’s finest day. This afternoon we will head to McSorley’s Old Ale House in the East Village for a service where the NYFD Pipes and Drums will honor the 343 Firemen who lost their lives this day. The band will enter McSorley’s at precisely 3:43 in full kilt playing at top note. If you have ever been in this joint, it is as small as Max’s Sports Bar, so bring ear plugs. Later we shall head down to ‘ground zero’ for what is called evening service. I won’t go into detail about that but it also is a very emotional event. No this isn’t a drink beer and cut up NYFD event, this is the furthest thing from it.

Here is my inner struggle with all of this and I will be honest, I don’t give a shit if you agree with me or not.  Today is also the opening weekend of the National Football League across the country. I know that there will be many tributes and military flyovers at all of the stadiums (Shout out to the Event Team at Bristol Motor Speedway – THAT WAS AWESOME) and it will be a very emotional day. What pisses me off to no end is that there will be some players who will not honor the country that they are living in and generating a check from by standing for the playing of the national anthem. I am not going to mention that cocksuckers name who plays for the 49’ers but if I owned the team or had anything to do with it, I would have fired his ass the first day. Better yet, bring his ass down to Ground Zero this afternoon and let him try to pull that shit with all of the NYFD, NYPD and Military who will be in attendance. To the media who publicizes it, shame on you! To the owners of the 49’ers, shame on you!  You mean to tell me you can’t pull his little ass behind closed doors and crawl up and down his ass? I sure as hell recall all my ass chewing’s for the past 46 years. It made an impact on me and made me a better person. Then again, I had good home training and learned respect and honor.

*I just re-read what I had written and first thought was that I sound just like Radio’s own Drake Hall on one of his world famous rants with Zeke Logan* I guess I am turning into one of those “get of my lawn” people but I am sorry. How can you not watch this and recall what happened 15 years ago today and not honor this country? Shame on anyone who does not stand during the playing of the national anthem. You show respect and honor whether you like or not.

CBT Out!! God Bless America and all those who lost their lives today! God Bless their families and friends, we will always remember them and honor their memory.

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It’s been a wild couple of weeks

So happy new week! I know you have heard me bitch complain about the lack of college football that isn’t shown at my favorite UES haunts but it sure is a good time to be a Hog Fan! To my 3 NYC readers – the mascot of The University of Arkansas is a Razorback or hog. They beat the Horned Frogs of TCU (don’t ask, I don’t know either) in double OT. So we have had a lot going on these past 2 weeks; Mrs. Trumpet went back to school. Yep she is getting her masters at one of those fancy schmancy New York Schools. I say it is fancy is because they have a football team that is undefeated and tuition is higher than Georgia Pine. Put it this way, what did she do this past Saturday night? She studied!

As for me, I am going to have to stop going on vacations south of the border. Recall our Easter trip to Belize?  I get back from that trip and I find out I was traded from the UWS team to the Downtown team. Do you know how confusing the streets are in lower Manhattan? I finally get the hang of that and then head to Mexico for a week of R&R and care to guess what happens? You guessed it, they traded my ass to the East team. My business card now looks like a Bugs Bunny Baseball when he throws it around the world. I am still selling tickets on the double decker busses and yes this is a good thing. I like my team, my new territority and my commute is getting cut down to Nada. Downside is that I can’t bitch about being late because of a delayed 6 train but it’s all good. I am looking forward to this new gig. Trust me when I say that we both are excited and a tad nervous.

Anyway since my last post I have gotten some great feedback but sadly I will not follow up on this. You Mean to Tell Me That You Don’t Have Sweet Tea is not one of those blogs. Quite frankly, it pissed me off and looking back, should I have said/done it? Like I said, I didn’t care but there won’t be a follow up. Karma will always get you. I won’t go into great detail about what all went on Sunday Night. But it was Ian, the NYFD Pipes & Drums head boss, who said it best; “This service is never publicized as it is only by word of mouth” and I am honored to be invited each and every year. It was an emotional event and thank you to Mr. 3 First Names, Asian Fireman, and the Honorary Pipes & Drum band member A.S. for the invite. On to some pictures;

img_2222The Little Bastid was not happy being “Trumped” by Momma on the first day of school #seewhatIdidthereKLCMan

img_2240Waiting outside McSorley’s Ale House – it was packed to the gills so our field trip will have to happen another day.

img_2242The Band making their way down Greenwich Street

img_2245The Drums of the NYFD Pipes and Drums

img_2249Hey I recognize the second guy in this picture!

img_2256Backside of Trinity Church aka the 9/11 Church

img_2259Empire State lit up in Red – White – Blue for 9/11 – Taken from an Uber on the FDR

More posts this week, I promise

 

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“You trying to patronize me boy?”

Before you think I just made some pseudo racist comment cool your jets. Go watch “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” and watch the cemetery scene again. Recall when Minerva calls out John Kelso because that is what I am referring to. Anyway since I have changed work locations and am now in the UES I have a ‘slightly’ different crowd or fan base. When I say ‘slightly’ here is what my buddies at Wikipedia have to say about the UES.

The Upper East Side, sometimes abbreviated as UES, is a neighborhood in the borough of Manhattan in New York City, between Central Park/Fifth Avenue, 59th Street, the East River, and 96th Street.[1] The area incorporates several smaller neighborhoods, including Lenox Hill, Carnegie Hill, and Yorkville. Once known as the Silk Stocking District,[2] it is now one of the most affluent neighborhoods in New York City.”

Now before you start in with the ‘affluent’ part understand that it is also now the cheapest neighborhood to live in when you look at Manhattan as a whole. The West Village is the priciest neighborhood to live in according to the stuff that I see on Twitter. We like living up here, you have the old ‘blue bloods’ (aka Chickasaw & Memphis Country Club) group who are not ostentatious one bit. Then you have on the other side which is the mid 30’s to 40’s who frequent the bars that  have cheap beer to entice crowds for happy hour. *looking in mirror as I type that* I love the older group of UES’rs. They meander from wine bar to wine bar during the week and then come weekend they are headed down in black car service to the Wall Street Heliport for a jaunt to Montauk or the Gold Coast of Connecticut. I recall the one weekend last year when Mrs. CBT was in Key West.

Joey Pots – “Hey Kid, I hear your wife is out of town this weekend. We have been busting your balls pretty hard this year about college football. We have an extra ticket to the Harvard/Yale game tomorrow, you want to go?”
Me – “Thanks Joey, she gets home at 9:30 so I need to be back by then, how are we getting to the game, renting a car?” *these guys have car services bring them to the Cigar Inn*
JP – “Kid we rented one of those Uber Helicopter from Wall Street, you would be in for 1/6th of the fare and whatever you want to drink and eat.”
Me – *doing quick hard math in my head thinking that this could easily be 2 trips to Belize in cost* “Joey, thank you for the invite but I need to do some work Saturday morning and I need to on my best behavior.”
JP – “No problem kid, you are always welcome.”

That’s what I love about the UES, all are welcome and there isn’t any stereotypes, well except for the presidential candidates, that shit is about to GO DOWN!  They don’t look any different at us and once you figure out that they are just older beer drinkers (with much better budgets) I mean who doesn’t love them?

Ok, on to the Title of this dribble.

Last week I met with my new boss and a client who was a high end Toilet Plunger maker *not her real profession, I have 2 teammates who may read this worthless dribble and there is a fine line between work CBT & Blogger CBT * and she wants to get her store on the double decker tour. We are having lunch and discussing her business and she stops in mid sentence and these words will stay in my head for a long time.

Client – “It really bothers me that you call me mam, it makes me feel like you are patronizing me.”
Me – “Agatha, I do apologize but I promise that I do not mean any disrespect nor am I patronizing you. I was raised Italian Catholic where if you didn’t end an answer with Sir or Mam you got smacked. The Dominican Nuns helped beat that into me followed by the Christian Brothers who ended it with an exclamation point!”
Client – “Where are you from, CBT?”
Me – “I am from Memphis, TN.”
Client – “You were raised in the South? We are good, I have spent time in Louisiana and got plenty of Mam’s down there.”

We finish up and my boss and I are walking back to the office;

Boss – “You really can’t turn the southern manners off can you?”
Me – “No Mam”
Boss – “You do know that you may get some grief and crap from some of the clients in the UES don’t you?”
Me – “Oh I realize that, but if my accent doesn’t give me away then it will be when I say Mam or Sir. If it bothers them that much then I can always give them the ‘bless your heart’ comment.
Boss – “That isn’t a good comment is it?”
Me – “In the south we don’t like to tell someone to their face to Go Feck Themselves.”
Boss – “You will do fine up there”

d10e57a59c264567b2615268faddcbd8Rules to live by. Of course I learned another rule by making your bed in college thanks to living at a Fraternity house on 618 West Maple Street.

Have a good day and if you were raised catholic like I was then I dare you to call your parents and not throw in a “Sir” or “Mam” when you speak to them. I bet you will get lectured or if you are in front of them you may get smacked by the ‘spanking spoon’

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Carbunkle Trumpet the Graffiti Artist

Labor Day weekend we decided to stay in the city because we were still recovering from Mexico that and Momma wanted to get some reading done for her first day of classes at NYU. Friday night we went out with AV & DJ to check out the Frying Pan on the Hudson and ended up staying a little later than usual. On Saturday morning I was asked to do a little project for Mrs. Trumpet’s make up stand in our master bedroom lounge. The table that she purchased from IKEA was a little too short for her so she needed me to make some table extensions for it.

You have no idea how long it has been since I have been to a guy’s toy store, Home Depot, I was giddy with excitement. I figured I would get a 2X4 cut up and build a little T shaped base and put some casters on it so we can roll it out of the way to get to storage under the bed. To keep it aesthetically pleasing I was going to paint the wood black to match the base of the table. I get the wood cut, find some casters that didn’t cost me a fortune, got all the hardware and figured that a can of Black Spray Paint would do the job.

I go into the paint department and find that the spray cans were all locked up tighter than Dick’s hatband. I find an associate and ask him what is up and he tells me that because of New York’s Anti-Graffiti laws it isn’t sold to the general public. I am really scratching my head and I show Skillet the wood and tell him about my project and he asks me where I was going to paint the wood. Corner of First Avenue and E71st Street was my response and he tells me that I am not allowed to spray in public or inside buildings. Seriously I am dumbfounded, dude it isn’t like I am making Meth, I just want to paint some wood!

Needless to say I grab a can of black paint, a brush, a plastic drop cloth and get to work. I get done with my project and naturally go over to ‘reward’ myself at the Cigar Inn and I GTS (Google that Shit) about the spray paint rules of NYC. Apparently there is a rule. Who knew? You can smoke dope on the city streets but can’t spray paint. Oh well. At least I got my Home Depot fix taken care of for the week.

IMG_2186Not sure what the problem it, the desk fits me just fine.

Spray PaintStill befuddles me….

IMG_2185Who Cares, I am making something and getting to use my drill!

IMG_2184Project in the works!

IMG_2187If I didn’t read it with my own eyes, I would have said you were fucking with me.

IMG_2220Finished Product

Wait till I start making Moonshine in the UES!

 

 

 

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Hurricane or Tropical Storm Sunsets

So with the Jersey Shore and New York in Tropical Storm Warnings and Watches last weekend we had some killer sunsets. I knew that we weren’t going to have bad weather because there was no talk of RAB’s main man crush, Jim Cantore, coming to Gotham. Anyway the weather was great and almost chilly in the mornings.

IMG_2176Taken at the Frying Pan overlooking New Jersey

IMG_2177Really killer colors you know.

14264146_10100918980103786_7092724042518069986_nBecause of Hurricane Hermine the Murphranks had to cut short their Shore Vacation.

IMG_2207Overlooking Brooklyn

IMG_2211I should have bet to the left!

IMG_2217Again with the colors! Beautiful

IMG_2213Manhattan in the background

Have a good weekend!

 

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CBT goes to the NYSE for opening bell

Yes you read that correctly. Yours truly was not only in the building but was on the actual trading floor to see the opening bell his past Friday. My ‘guy’ told me that he would be happy to get me and a guest onto the floor of the Stock Exchange for either the opening or closing bell. Now I have to come clean, I was a little nervous on visiting the NYSE. I am pretty superstitious and on both of my prior visits to the NYSE the market closed in the Green or “Up”. Granted those two trips I did not walk onto the trading floor but I wanted to finish strong and go 3-0.
Because it was the Friday before Labor Day which is the unofficial end of Summer and I am a stickler for “Memphis Traditions” I broke out the Huey P. Long blue seersucker suit. Trust me when I say that you will get a couple of stares from New Yorkers who just don’t get it. We arrived at 11 Wall Street around 9AM and went through security, metal detector and got our credentials. Here are some interesting facts that I can share with my 6 readers;

  • The Stock Exchange only provides a venue for the various companies who have registered for public trading so that they can openly trade their stock certificates. You can’t blame the Stock Exchange for a bad day of trading. It was built in 1903 and has seen many renovations. It currently is undergoing a renovation that should be completed in 2017
  • The Opening bell begins to ring at 9:29:45 and rings for 15 seconds prior to 9:30ET start. Traditionally those companies who have their IPO (Initial Public Offering) get the honor of ringing the bell. The area outside of the NYSE on Broad Street will have that IPO companies branded products displayed. When Shake Shack had their IPO they gave out free burgers to anyone wanting one. When Memphis’ own ServiceMaster had theirs they had all of the branded vehicles displayed on the plaza.
  •  On January 26, 2000, an altercation during filming of the music video for “Sleep Now in the Fire”, which was directed by  Michael Moore, caused the doors of the exchange to be closed and the band Rage Against the Machine to be escorted from the site by security after band members attempted to gain entry into the exchange.
  • In the aftermath of the September 11th attacks the NYSE was closed for 4 trading sessions. It was one of the rare times that the NYSE was closed for more than one session and the third time since March 1933.
  • The Market was shut down for 2 days due to Hurricane Sandy
  • Notable celebrity Bell-Ringers include; Joe DiMaggio, Michael Phelps, Snoop Dog, Mickey Mouse, Pink Panther, the Aflac Duck and Darth Vader.

IMG_2172Haters going to Hate! At least I didn’t wear  a bowtie!

IMG_2165When I say this set us right below the Podium I mean it.

IMG_2164Commercial Break

IMG_2163First Cash had their IPO today – Name FCFS

IMG_2166About a couple minutes prior to the bell. The two guys behind the podium are probably the owner and or CEO.

IMG_2168And Here We Go!

 

IMG_2169And we are underway!

IMG_2182Trust me when I say that you don’t want to lose this while you are on the trading floor. Security is ‘serious’ to say the least.

IMG_2173Checked it a couple of times yesterday. The Market finished strong on Friday and closed in the Green. CBT and LZ were winners!

So what did you do this past weekend?

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A Labor Day Public Service Announcement from CBT regarding Brewery Tours.

I will get the Public Service Announcement at the end. So yesterday we decided to take our show on the road and head to the Mean Streets of Williamsburg in Brooklyn. I know what you are thinking, no we didn’t go to the diner that “2 Broke Girls” worked. We headed over the 59th Street bridge and made our way to Brooklyn Brewery.

Brooklyn Brewery was started in 1988 by Steve Hindy who was an amateur brew master who learned how in Saudi Arabia. He came back and founded with his downstairs neighbor. Starting out he got a brewery to in upstate New York to make his beer and keep up with demand. Currently they have plans to relocate their main brewery from Utica, New York to a 200K square foot facility on Staten Island. Ok, enough words, I will get to the pictures.

IMG_2204Mash Tanks Where the Magic Happens

IMG_2203Shiny Pretty Tanks

IMG_2201Of course we have to have a guy wearing skinny jeans and a beard give us the tour in Williamsburg.

IMG_2199The Tour was pretty informative and we got to drink our beer while on it.

IMG_2200The Bottling Department

Oh and as far as the Pubic Service Announcement? Make sure that you schedule some down/quiet time the next morning after a Brewery Tour. Holy Headaches Batman!

 

 

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Pictures of the Week from a different Island

So here are some pics that I can share with my 6 readers.  Busy day today, heading to 11 Wall Street.

IMG_2009Yes that is a scorpion in the bottle and No I didn’t partake in this!

IMG_2017The lead singer did not play. 6 inch F me pumps and she jammed!

IMG_2020Lots of kids with their families at Playa Norte. So much fun to be a kid on that island.

IMG_2024The Ernest Herbert Mellor Drink Combo (Margarita on the Rocks and Beer)

IMG_2036Post Sunday Funday Adult Swim. Yes everyone was wearing approved swimwear.

IMG_2041That damned Ernest Herbert Drink Special again!

IMG_2047RJ rented a bike for he and I to ride on to the beach.

IMG_2054The best we could figure out was that it was generic Bud Light. Of course $39.90pesos /16 to 1 exchange rate = $2.49 for a 6 pack or .41 cents a beer. GFY Natural Light!

IMG_2058RJ – I am going to bring the cart to BoBo’s. That way we have immediate seating for 4 at the bar.

IMG_2059She needs her hat with that outfit.

IMG_2060Another fun time at Bobo’s

IMG_2061I needed a little religion on Monday morning.

IMG_2063Damnit CBT, lay off the Katie Pictures.

IMG_2118Where we had dinner on the last night.

IMG_2119Fancy Wine Bucket here in Mexico

IMG_2121Someone’s Fun-O-Meter went kaput.

IMG_2128Not sure what it was but SG was pumped that he finally found it!

IMG_2130Isla>CUN>ATL>LGA = Depression mode in full effect

IMG_2131I want to go back to Isla Mujeres! This blows!