Do this tonight! Don’t make me call your mother or punch you in the throat

Tonight is the “Memphis Style BBQ Edition”of Chopped Grill Masters. My good friend and owner of A Moveable Feast/Hog Wild BBQ Catering Company, Ernie Mellor, is competing against 3 other Pitmasters in a chance to win over 50K in prize money. The show comes on the Food Network and is 9 Eastern/8 Central Tuesday, August 14, 2018.

*Disclaimer – I don’t know any more than you do if he wins or loses. All I knew was when he came up to Manhattan back in early March.

Ernie Mellor ChoppedGet em Ernie! Do us proud!

Best of luck to him tomorrow. We will be cheering for you from Crime-Free Brooklyn.

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Lay off Fuckers! I have been busy!

Welcome to another Sunday Evening post from Carbunkle Trumpet/Paul Allen where he may (or may not) have been enjoying some Sunday Funday while he was compiling this.  Anyway I have still have a couple posts brewing and I will do better this week but here are some pics I have that I can share with you;

moments_08_03_18_03_32These are the faces of people who were tormenting me last week. I will get you all back, I promise.

IMG_3950Booze may or may not have been drank at this joint this week. TQ you were missed. Next time!

IMG_3933Note to Self – NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING PISS OFF NOVA! Seriously this is some funny shit and I will wear it on occasion up here in Liberal New York!

IMG_3948Yes I posted the same pic again from the Featured Picture! Congrats to my Bar Wife on getting gainful employment up here in the North East! I can’t wait to hear her bitch about the winters up here. She doesn’t know what she is in for up here.

And yes folks it is Elvis Week! *EP gets his own billing*

IMG_3946Always impressive

IMG_3902Again I am not on a Fucking BBQ Team! By the way to my 21 readers – please tune into the Food Network on Tuesday night for the BBQ Edition of Chopped. I happen to know “A Guy” on that show!

IMG_3928These two may be the reason that I didn’t post much last week. Love them both to death but never get into a Vodka Drinking contest with them. Nobody will win!

Have a good week and I promise I will do better this week.

 

CBT!

Strike up the Band We have lived on these Rocks for 3 years!

Wow! Another Year has come to pass and yet here I am still banging away on this laptop. I celebrate this milestone because I haven’t gotten hit by that crosstown bus or fallen ass over teacup down a bilco door. Sadly, I celebrate this 3rd birthday solo while right now Mary Louise is heading on a Ferry to another island down in Mexico with the MoHo’s. No I am not bitter about this one bit. I promise.

In her absence I have been writing this post in my head for a couple of days and I  have to say how humble I am that we are still plugging along in a city that could possibly eat us alive. I have always said that there are two things here in The Empire State that I always run out of; time and money. This year has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it has been 3 years from when we rolled up to 1300 First Avenue and emptied our contents into the UES. This year there have been some major changes to our lives this year and l have always said that sometimes change is good.

In the past year some of our friends have also followed suit and made moves from familiar Memphis surroundings and dipped their toe into new cities and regions. I always tell them from our experiences that right now there may be tears of uncertainty but each day and week things will normalize and level out. I still look back and say to myself that if you told me 3 years and change that I would be living in New York and love each day of it I would have told you that you are crazy as hell. I am serious when I say that this was the best thing that we have done in our adult lives. The experiences and things that we have and continue to learn about have been amazing. Much like Anthony Bourdain told us on each show was that we need to explore and try out new things. Do the uncomfortable and you will be amazed at to what you learn and it will make you a richer person internally. I still miss that fucker. His story wasn’t finished.

People still ask me how I like living here I always tell them the same response. We love it and should have done this sooner. I am in no way dogging Memphis or our friends back there but Mary Louise and I always had an ‘explorer’ gene in us that was dying to get out. New York is a strange city and has a lot of people from many different walks of life. Much like a child we are always asking questions and seeking information. You know what we found out. They may be from a different country, have a different person that believe in or vote for but we are all children playing in the same sandbox and we better find a way to get along. Call me crazy but the first thing that I ask the yellow cab driver, after I tell them *in my best New York Accent*, is where they are from and “Tell me about yourself.” People love telling their story to strangers. There is a lot of pride in those words and I cherish each and every one.

While I sit here smoking a Perdomo stinking up my work laptop I recall all the things we did. They are in no particular order include;

  • Mary Louise completes and graduates with a MBA from NYU and this better complete her higher education quest. We don’t have any fucking room in closet for a Doctoral Robe and all that crap. (I am very proud of her for this)
  • Mary Louise takes a new job and a whole bunch of new responsibilities that I don’t doubt she will do great in.
  • Made a trip to Philly and got me an authentic Cheesesteak.
  • We moved from the Upper East Side to the Gritty Hipster streets of Downtown Brooklyn. That wasn’t easy folks, oh and moving sucks here in New York City.
  • One would think that downsizing from 1300 square feet to 535 square feet would be easy but try to move to another studio that is configured differently. Thankfully Ba made a trip to Brooklyn and helped us with the move.
  • I made Senior at my work so I am now a Senior Sales Rep for selling tourists tickets on those double decker buses.
  • We made a trip to Maine for Lobster.
  • We made a trip to the Riviera Maya of Mexico for a work counterparts wedding and made a one night trip over to Isla Mujeres in December.
  • Made a trip back home for Christmas and got to see our friends and family.
  • Had to check in on Kitty down in Belize in February and to get warmed up from the 4 Nor’easters we had this past winter.
  • Were honored to become Godparents for Willimena in April and now have another one who will possibly wipe our asses when we get older.
  • Reconnected with Vivian Longstreet and Stone and enjoyed a great weekend with them Upstate.
  • Had to make yet another trip to Mexico and insure that RJ and Mallory didn’t have tres children. (still unknown but we will see in 9 months if that was a success)
  • Mary Louise made a trip to The Hamptons while I smoked meat on Katonah Avenue in the Bronx.
  • Mary Louise currently is down in Mexico right now with the MoHo’s and will return on Monday.

Yep we had a blast on this island and on a couple other islands. Rather than collect stuff we have decided to collect memories and passport stamps. I am nearing 1000 words and will end with a quote that I always love. “Travel is the only thing that you buy that makes you richer”

IMG_2489Much like Black Eyed Peas and Greens on New Years day if you celebrate New Years eve wearing a Bowler hat you will have good luck. *taken 2 blocks from Times Square on NYE

IMG_1883New York Food and Wine Festival Event

IMG_1641Pipes and Drums Prom. Who knew that Mary Louise and Lady Barrister wore the same color dress.

IMG_0059Madison Square Garden Event – here Mary Louise is saying “W.T.C.B.F. Carbunkle Trumpet, LZ goes to all the good shows and you take my ass to a Collegiate Hockey match? You better step up your game and start bogarting the good tickets too!”

IMG_2151Funny I don’t hear her bitching about this one. Aboard the USS Intrepid for the Marine Corp’s Birthday Celebration

IMG_3427Willimena is going to be a handful I can already tell.

IMG_4024 (1)Who has 2 thumbs and completes her MBA from NYU in 2 years while working full time and interviews for a new job. This one! Seriously though. This is it for higher level education.

IMG_2821Right before we move out of the UES they open a bonafide Queso Mexican Restaurant Joint and we find a great Cajun place too! Thank God we have the Q Train!

IMG_3128Boerum Hill is pretty cool. If you walk across the street from our joint you are in Boerum Hill neighborhood. If you make a left and walk across Flatbush you are in Fort Greene. You walk 3 more blocks and you are in Park Slope. Confused yet?

IMG_1262So glad to see Kitty when she made a trip up to the Big Apple.

IMG_0501This is the face of a woman who is about to walk out into a friggin Northeast Nor’easter. 50 MPH Winds with below windchill temps and Snow. I ‘worked from home’ that day!

IMG_8491And here was the first pic when we moved in. 3 years later and we are still here and I may or may not be a liberal democrat.

Thanks for reading and for following this worthless dribble. Now pull that band-aid off and go out and make yourself richer and happy 3rd Anniversary to us!

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.

A trip to a Dive Bar – Franks Lounge in Fort Greene

I have been remiss as of late for not posting any of the great dive bars that we have been visiting. Granted The Royal Palms is a Classic but we have been finding some great bars in our vicinity.  Even the Murphranks remarked “You guys are doing some great re-con work” because we found a great one a couple of weeks back.

Across Flatbush Avenue is the Fort Greene neighborhood. It is home to one our favorite bagel shops and has a couple great Mexican joints that we have frequented. On my weekend walks to the bagel joint is an establishment that always catches my eye by the name of Franks Lounge. On Sunday we decided to swing by and have some beers. The bar is old school and naturally “Cash Only” but the decoration is defiantly stuck in the 80’s.

IMG_3709Yep Little Sister and Axl – This joint is older than you are!

IMG_3706Mary Louise was somewhat disappointed that she couldn’t order her fancy wine so she settled for a Bud Light.

IMG_3704Not sure about the ceiling but this joint had a certain flair to it. Kinda reminds us of Jimmy’s Corner meets Raifords

IMG_3703The bar was open that Sunday afternoon. God love the old school bars

IMG_3708Got to love the memorial

I need to swing by Hank’s and bring my camera. That is another one!

BoogieDown BBQ at the Rambling House 2018

5 years of the BoogieDown. Between Philly and New York a lot of meat has been cooked and served. This year we changed things up and hosted the event at the Rambling House and did more of a benefit for Alex’s Lemonade. The Memphis Mafia arrived on Thursday and on Friday and Philly rolled into town on Friday night.

On the menu this year was Pulled Pork Shoulder, Baby Back Ribs, Beef Brisket, Smoked Mac and Cheese and Cole Slaw with PorkOsaurus’ new Slaw dressing. We figure that there were about 250 guests and we raised over 2600 for the charity. Thanks to all those who came and a huge thank you to the great staff at The Rambling House.

IMG_3840Why yes we are smoking ribs on Katonah Avenue. What of it?

IMG_3842The PorkOSaurus Company Store. They have a new Slaw Dressing and Marinate

IMG_3863Um Guys, can you get some work done today?

IMG_3845About to start to juice the ribs

IMG_3847Isn’t that a Sexy Picture?

IMG_3846The Chief Bottle Washer and Midget Aficionado

IMG_3856Lemonade Stand courtesy of Fiona

IMG_3864The Boys from the Local showed up for some grub and to let the kids take pictures in the rig

IMG_3865Packed House and they could escape the heat

IMG_3861The Rambling House staff was serving up the food and we also had a face painting person. That is her in the hat….or some homeless girl

IMG_3859This is what probably made the Spring on Pepe’s cooker to go bad.

IMG_3867“Please buy some Rub, Sauce and Marinade so I can have my playroom back!” Poor C-Man was getting tired

IMG_3868Again thank you to the staff at the Rambling House. We couldn’t have done it without you!

You will have to excuse me as I have some non-smoked goods this week.

Sunday Funday Mexico Photo Dump

Mary Louise has left my ass again………for Seattle………then her ass goes to Mexico for a girl’s weekend with Baby Fine Hair so I am sitting on the 3rd floor veranda blogging. Hey Mr 3 First Names and Landlord you guys want to get into some trouble between now and next Monday? I am going to be unsupervised till then. So while I have the wash going on trying to get the Hickory Smoke smell out of them from this past weekend I figure I would post the last of the Mexico pictures, well those that we can recall taking sober.

Isla was a blast, the group we went down with was fun and we had great weather. Oh and we got to see the Cuban Band and I am going on record saying that if Mary Louise goes to see them next Sunday I am going to be really jealous.

IMG_3801Oh I am sure that this is approved in the States at a lot of the job sites.

IMG_3771Poor LZ we had her all confused with the nicknames. “So is he Smoothie, Pepe or what?”

IMG_3777One of these days I am going to get a proper invite instead of having to jump over the fence.

IMG_3753That damn Cuban lead singer made the Future Mrs. Gonzales lose her pants. What goes on in Mexico stays in Mexico.

IMG_3751The Mexican Version of “Mustang Sally” isn’t as good as one would think

IMG_3752Lil Man was getting after it!

IMG_3739It is hard being Carbunkle Trumpet you know? Those 25 Cigars aren’t going to smoke themselves.

IMG_3755Momma L was gettin it as the Cheese Grater Guy was making his rounds.

IMG_3748Sunday in Isla is fun!

IMG_3741I hear that they have good Mediterranean Pizza. I wouldn’t know because my piece was on the fucking floor.

Till Next Time Isla! Maybe we can make a quick trip this winter.

 

Happy Anniversary

Congrats to one of my friends who today for celebrating 1 year of sobriety. I know a lot of good people who are in some type of a program and I always have the deepest respect for them. Congrats to Jam-Jam 1 (best I could come up with right now) on your birthday and here is to many, many more.

So What did you guys do in Isla?

I fielded a bunch of those questions since we got back on Saturday. My canned answer has always been “We hung out, I smoked at least 1 cigar before 10AM each day, and we ate a bunch of good food. Oh and we drank buckets of beer, had a couple “Ernie Mellor’s Specials” and we drank some post sunset Vodka and Sodas.” So here is the real truth about our trip….That is exactly what we did and it was great!

When we were on the ferry over to the island there was a woman who was returning from being in the states. She was chatting up a couple who were asking her where to eat, where to rent a cart, ect. The woman said that she lived on a sailboat behind Oscar’s Pizza place. Naturally I hated this bitch, I mean she lives in about the same square footage as we do but her location is much prettier and more climate friendlier than ours.

This was the 5th trip over to Isla Mujeres; day trip, 3 night trip before meeting up with English Mike, 5 day trip where 9 months later we became God Parents, an overnight trip in December and then this full week trip. Each trip we keep finding that this island is exactly what we need in that we can go there, unwind, eat some good food and laugh about our Monday through Friday lives.

Now I am sure that there are some of you who look at us and say “Why do you keep doing the same thing over and over again?” They say that doing this and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Guess what friends….Isla is what we want. No excursions (well they did go fishing this year) no historic tours, no fancy resorts, and pretty much it is perfect for us. More on this later.

IMG_3799Welcome to the Family Manuel

IMG_3788Shrimp Cocktail in a Sweet Chili Sauce and Lime Juice. It was great!

IMG_3779These two! I tell ya we had a blast with them down there.

IMG_3772Playa North with the fancy boats.

IMG_3763The Future Mrs Manuel Gonzalez was mocking me as I declined a shot of “Mexican Water”

IMG_3737Not our place but this was right next door to our joint.

IMG_3734Margarita and a beer – Lord knows I had a couple of these down there

IMG_3803Like I said the food really sucked down there too

Like I said, we had a good time down in Mexico. More pics to come.

What do you mean I can’t smoke a Cigar on this Fucking Subway?

And we are back from vacation! I will put more down on this worthless dribble of a blog later this week. We got back Saturday night and I pretty much spent all day yesterday getting ready for a busy week. Seriously, while I type this I am getting the stink eye from Mary Louise. Here are just some pictures from this week and I promise to get back on the horse this week.

IMG_3775I smoked at least 2 Cigars before “My Russian Brother from Another Mother” took emails from his favorite former customer. God Bless you S(Squared) for covering for me. The Ribs and Shoulder are on me this Saturday!

IMG_3731These Two having their “Virgin Strawberry Frozen Drinks”

IMG_3733I promise that we were just drinking Lime Juice……That isn’t Salt On those drinks

IMG_3760Then there is this one! Got to love spending time with the Ponzi Scheme first Hurdle!

IMG_3738Who knew that my favorite Breakfast Food Stand was closed on Sunday’s?

IMG_3757Sunday’s really Suck on Isla Mujeres

IMG_3747Still Mad at you RJ for this! We will have another discussion about this again this weekend.

It was a great vacation and even better with great friends and family.