Pictures of the Week from the Redneck Rivera.

So we will finish the week with some final pictures from our week down in the Redneck Rivera. Like I said, we had a blast and we look forward to next years trip. I figure by then maybe Knuckleheads #1 & #2 will be able to fetch Uncle Robo and Uncle RJ some cold pops! Captain can you start teaching the kids how to make Painkillers for next year.

Returning from the day on the beach. Notice the Cigar in my left hand. That was Cigar #22 for the week.
“Mom, we are tired of posing, Uncle Robo can we act a fool?”
“Go Ahead Kids! Fly that Freak Flag!”
Thank God we ordered the Small Drinks!
Happy 4th of July!
Need a bottle of Tito’s and a Dildo? We have found the place for you!
4 Toe Heads having dinner! I miss them!
I also miss this Bushwacker too!
Maya had a good Vacation too!
Hate to tell everyone but Knucklehead #2 took Daddy to school on the tabletop games!

Next week we will return to normal NYC Shenanigans. One should always get out of the city for a couple of days. We had fun with all of these jokers.

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While in the South….

One should always pay proper homage to their southern roots. What does this mean folks???? A trip to the FloraBama and Waffle House!

Recall when Sean Brock and Anthony Bourdain went to Waffle House and these words were muttered?

“You don’t come here expecting the French Laundry,” Brock says. “You come here expecting something amazing.” “This is better than the French Laundry,” Bourdain replies.

No disrespect to Thomas Keller (Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names – Cover your eyes) but in the south the Waffle House kicks the shit out of French Laundry and twice on Sunday Morning! After a quick trip to the Florabama RJ and I asked our driver if they would drop us off at the Waffle House for a small meal. We arrived just before midnight and after a brief wait were ushered to a seat at the counter.

In proper respect to Sean Brock & Bourdain, I ordered a Pecan Waffle as an appetizer which puzzled RJ and settled for the 2 eggs fried, Scattered, Smothered, Covered X 2, Bacon and toast breakfast. I believe that RJ chowed down on a Philly Breakfast plate but when I recalled looking over there it was gone!

Maria – is there a Waffle House around these parts? I see a couple in PA.

The Florabama was warm and very GOP’ish to say the least!
Talk about a dick move by the Florabama. You ain’t in Brooklyn Bitch, you in the South!
It is about to go down!
Yes Please
The Nerve Center of Waffle House – The kitchen
Now that I look at this sober I realize we got screwed!
Oh my Cholesterol is hitting high Triple digits!
RJ’s Plate – Now I know why he was singing Ring of Fire the next morning – Jalapeno Peppers!
Wonder why I was so thirsty!
I am ashamed of the bill. It was high!
The Next morning I had a party scar and I was eating Imodium like it was Pez

Again apologies to Jenn for forgetting the hashbrowns in the Uber. I blame RJ for leaving it!

There are 2 things that will always say the truth no matter what….. 2/2

Spandex and a 3 year old.

So when I left you I was peeing in the Gulf of Mexico with RJ. The rest of the week we pretty much stayed close to home. We did make a trip on a boat one day and that was a lot of fun. During that 3 hour boat tour some folks got White Girl White Claw Wasted and it was good to hang with our friends. Like I said before; for 2 people who don’t have children who freely want to vacation with 2 other families and their children says something. But then again these kids are pretty good and the only real tears shed that week was when we had to leave on Saturday to go back to the real world. Well that was until Expedia Fucked me.

Mallory and Elsie Hanging
Geranium and I
Captain
This was my Cartoon Watching Buddy
Beautiful Day on the water and at the beach!
Geranium preparing lunch
Knucklehead #2 enjoying String Cheese while dipping it into Rotel Cheese. (Makes me tear up just thinking about it)
Pour that shit in the sink. It isn’t even worth mixing it with Vodka!
JMH and RJ

You Are Vacationing Where? And With Whom? Part 1 of 2

Those were the two questions a couple of Thursdays ago from my non kosher eating brother from another mother and fellow Tina’s Cubano lunch eating cohorts. Yep the Trumpets were taking the show on the road and heading down to the Gulf Coast of Alabama and Florida. What was puzzling my work cohorts was that we were vacationing with 2 other families and their children…..ages 2 – 8 & a 16 year old. Now It is no secret that we celebrate the fact that our only human child is an invisible one and the other one is 4 legged. We figured that since we have been around the parents a couple of different times and on vacation that it only made sense that we could probably hang with their kids too. Still it was a gamble. No doubt that S(Squared) and D.E. were placing bets if I would come back early and send a case of cigars to my urologist for performing my vasectomy.

We rented a 5 bedroom house so that the 3 sets of adults could have their own room, we put the 16 year old in her own room and the 4 knuckleheads had the playroom. So here is the honest truth about the week. We had a blast! The kids were great. The were well behaved and listened to directions and hopefully didn’t learn all the words that Uncle Trumpet muttered as he drank his “Robo Juice”.

Morning Breakfast. She wasn’t too sure about me on Day 1
We went through a lot of chips that week. Not from usage but because each bag came back with a large amount of sand in the bag.
Corn Hole – The perfect game you can play with a beer in your hand.
Daddy Let me Bury your feet!
Don’t let the Atlanta Family Fool you – Someone is peeing in that ocean right now.
I am certain that someone in this picture of the Memphis family is peeing.
Now since we are on the subject of peeing in the ocean……
Where did we leave the kid? Oh crap we forgot to un-bury her!

More pics and hi-jinx tomorrow.

I Am Back But Buried

So Before anyone gets on my ass for lack of postings first I have to say LAY OFF! Geranium can’t decide if she wants to burn Atlanta like Sherman or go out west and wear flannel. So she is doing both in a 36 hour time period. Meanwhile I am still in a tick for tat email exchange with those Bastards at Expedia. Oh and we are leaving town tomorrow for Philly for a one night appearance and then back in town on Sunday for baseball during the day and then later rednecks. Here are some pictures from this past Weeks vacation.

I miss these knuckleheads we had fun terrorizing those who slept in!
I bet their parents miss me being the Funkle too! Wait till they get the Bongos next week!
I am not drunk you are drunk.

Anyway the next 2 weeks are going to be busy for us. Tomorrow Philly, Sunday Baseball then Hank Jr. Next week Geranium is going to be in the exotic location of Summit New Jersey for training and next weekend we have a Carl Lipbalm Caddy Scholarship winner arriving.

More to come, More to come!

Pictures of the Week

T-Minus 24 Hours till I am out of the office. Geranium is going to fly from Seattle and we will meet up in an airport to be named later.

Tomato Salad with Crackers – you can’t get much more Southern than this one
Catalonia Tomato Bread
Sofrito – Catalan Tomato and Onion Sauce
Miso Roasted Asparagus
Finished Product
Street Dog on Bourdain Day
While Sitting at Roco’s Tacos
Elsie and AR are going to love Uncle Robo next week
No more Hanks
Subways getting ready for Pride Weekend
So is Maya! She can’t wait to see Aunt Chelle

Have a good week!

Highfalutin at The Met

So we had a great time seeing Play it Loud with all the musical artifacts and current instruments. I found out on Monday afternoon that John Meyer actually use Jerry Garcia’s “Wolf” on Saturday (or Sunday) and it was to be returned to the wall on Tuesday. After we did the exhibit we passed on the Gift Shop and trekked up to the rooftop of the Met for a drink and a view of the Park from the East Side.

I won’t tell you how much one round cost for us but the view up there is pretty sweet. Each Spring they have an exhibit up there and a lot of times we just throw up our hands and say “Ok its Art.” Last year UWS Holly and us saw an exhibit that was some creature in trash bags. This year it was Balls and Frames or as we call it; a perfectly good waste of space.

Later we went to a safe place and hung out with our Cubano purveyor of Spirits and got to see our Salad Loving friends Mike and Carrie. Yes I called you salad eating jokers out on my worthless dribble. Got eat a steak or in our case some Fried Cheese.

Enough words here are some great pictures from this past Friday.

They had a pen and pencil drawing class for Pride Month. That is a lot of ruffles!
Kuddos to the Met for embracing Pride Month. They really had a great attendance here.
The proctor was giving helpful pointers
Call it what you want – but this is a waste of space!
Really we need a 6 food barrier from some rusting 4X4 metal?
At least we can see the West Side
Too Much Face for the Robo Selfie!
Balls and sticks and it probably costs more than your house, your parents house and people up here too!
Love us some Midtown Manhattan Views
Back to familiar Places and a proper Selfie

Like I said, we had a blast on Friday.

Saturday Dinners

In an effort to save a little money since we are about to go on vacation we have been cooking a little more at home. Also with Geranium being on the road the last thing she really wants is food from a restaurant. For my inspiration on new dishes I have been reading Jose Andres’ book “Vegetables Unleashed”.

I really like the book and the recipes in it because cooking foods that are from a different culture really opens you up to new flavors and tastes. It is no secret that I started cooking from watching the chefs at Chez Philippe when I was a waiter there. “What do you mean that you don’t have heavy whipping cream in your fridge? How the Fuck am I to cook?” Yes I was trained to cook Classic French Cuisine. Thankfully the food shows gave me some balance but with “Vegetables Unleashed” it really puts you on notice.

For the menu we made a couple weeks back included;

  • Miso Roasted Asparagus (before this I had no clue what Miso was)
  • Microwaved Cacio y Pepe (Parents you need to make this for your kids)
  • Sesame Yogurt Corn on the Cob
  • Jose Andres’ Famous Beefsteak Tomato Sandwich
  • Lots of Wine and a little Tito’s
Seriously Go buy this book!
Tomatoes are getting good up here now!
The makings of the Cacio y Pepe (which is more or less Mac and Cheese with Corn or Peas)
Doesn’t this sucker look good. Holy Crap I made a dish with no meat or fish.
Finished Product. The Corn is really good and is different
Asparagus getting ready for the Broiler

Apologies to Taco Girl who probably just fried her laptop because she was drooling on her keyboard.

Play It Loud Exhibit @ The Met

When I heard that The Met was going to have an exhibit featuring the musical instruments I was pumped. This past Friday Geranium and I made out way back to the UES and took advantage of the nice weather and late summer hours. If you are a Music Nerd or fan of Concerts/Festivals you need to see this. BK – I know you probably won’t want to come from Queens to the UES but you need to see this. It is worth the price of admission. What I found out very quickly was how many guitars I would see and immediately say “Oh that is X’s guitar” without needing to read the description.

Anyway this is going to be a long post with the pictures so enough rambling.

Chuck Berry’s Guitar
Jerry Lee Lewis aka The Killer’s Piano!
Muddy Water’s Guitar
The King’s Guitar – That is Elvis Presley if you didn’t know that. And we can’t be friends.
Who doesn’t recognize Bo Diddly’s Cigar Box Shaped Guitar
Of course it does help when the talent puts their name on the instrument.
The Beatles…..never heard of them
John Lennon’s guitar on loan from Yoko
Pete Townshend’s Les Paul that he didn’t destroy
Edward VanHalen’s Ax
Recognize one of Jimmy Hendrix’s V?
What is going on here? Did someone pull a Thomas Crown on this exhibit?
It says it should be Keith Richards guitar that was gifted to him by a guy named Eric Clapton. What gives?
What an asshole that would Indian giver his guitar? Well he has outlived a lot of old rockers
The Edge’s Stratocaster. I mean he didn’t ask for this for his tour.9
Jimmy Hendrix’s Flying V. Notice the hologram behind the exhibit.
Angus Young’s Guitar and Geranium
Who doesn’t recognize Flea’s Bass
I am going out on a limb here and say that this is Patty Smith’s touring instrument.
Here is for you Mo-Ho Band Geeks
Clarence Carter’s Sax!
No need to name the artist. Everyone knows this custom baby
Steve Miller’s Les Paul
Bruce Springsteen’s Fender
And if you are wondering how I am able to recall all this I would take a picture of the description following the exhibit. I may have been born at night but not last night.
Paul Stanley’s Guitar
I will give you a hint – This song was sung by everyone at My Pleasure Bar in Fayetteville Arkansas in the early 90’s.
“I am a Joker, I am a Smoker, I am a Midnight Toker….”
A 5 Neck Custom? Cheap Trick anyone?
So this is the fragment of Jimmy Hendrix’s Stratocaster that he destroyed in a sacrifice at the Monterrey Pop Festival in 1967. He then dropped to his knees and poured lighter fluid on it and lit it on fire.
Now here is what is cool that I learned. He wanted to upstage Pete Townshend who was famous for destroying his guitar onstage. I think he did it!
Speaking of Pete Townshend
Anyone a Jerry Garcia fan? Here is his beloved “Wolf”
They also had a bunch of posters of artists. What is ironic about this one is that we actually know someone who was at this show. And she is photographed in the background screaming her head off.
The original Woodstock Poster
How cool is that!

Like I said, if you are a music buff you need to see this exhibit that runs until October.

Pictures of The Week

Had a great week. That was until Geranium decided to shame my ass on having a slight salt addition. This weekend will be brief as she has to leave on Sunday for Seattle. However next Saturday we are going to the Red Neck Rivera.

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN TALKING ABOUT MY SALT COLLECTION! (Thankfully she doesn’t read this worthless dribble) In all seriousness I laughed my ass off. So I buy salt. At least I don’t buy cigars…..er oh well.
The Dog hid after that spirited arguement
Speaking of Cigars
The heat wasn’t like it was in the South but the Humidity was high AF!
Played some Dominoes last weekend.

By the way did you go buy Rebecca Coutant’s book yet?

Have a good weekend, if it is nice today we may be in the UES atop the Met Museum.