A Grizz Game, Cigars on Tuesday, A Nor’Easter and by the way Its Only Thursday

“So is this a normal week for you guys?” That is what #2429 asked while we were belly up at the Juice bar this past evening.

#2431 replied in his best Southern/New York accent; “Well not really, it is quite odd that we have 4 Nor’easter’s in is as little 1 month.”

If you are wondering what those numbers mean, I will be glad to tell you but I will have to kill you. I really don’t want to do that because I just put a deposit on a condo south of the Mason Dixon Line and I do hate to waste money…….and beer.

So being that today is Thursday or as we call it Day 3 of Spring (kiss my ass you effin Groundhog) we have done a lot so far.  Monday our Grizzlies were playing Brooklyn and let me tell you, that game was depressing.

Tuesday I decided since we were going to have bad weather on Wednesday I decided to retreat to Adult Men’s Daycare The Cigar Inn and hung out while Mrs. Trumpet was at school.

Wednesday on the day of the Nor’easter we saw the deterioration of the weather with first rain, then sleet, snow and the wind that could suck start a Cumming Diesel engine. Let me tell you, I am ready for some nice weather this spring.

IMG_2850The either snickered at my scarf or felt sorry for me on Monday.

IMG_2851It really is pretty arena given that the acoustics suck.

IMG_2852Hung at the American Express suite for a while during pre-game.

IMG_2824Really? Again? Go home Salt Truck You are Drunk!


BBKw0eaYeah there were no flights on Wednesday

IMG_7676Any short jokes and I will call “my guy” and have this taken care of!

Have a good day!


Carbunkle O’Trumpet’s St. Patrick’s Day Report

Don’t get your hopes up folks, we were pretty tame on the Feast Day Celebration of St. Patrick. We started off with a traditional Irish fare of Corned Beef and Cabbage, Fish and Chips and naturally Guinness Beer. Mrs. Trumpet was able to join in the full shenanigans this year since it fell on a Saturday. Lady Barrister, UWS Holly, Holly’s friend and us started the afternoon at 5 Mile Stone in the UES. The joint was packed and after we ate we promptly headed to St. Ignatius Loyola grade school for some ‘merriment’.

First of all a huge thank you to the Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, The Gnome Lover, Skippy, My UConn Twitter Buddy and others for the hospitality and spending time with you guys on your holiday. The drinks were flowing and I even nibbled on some Irish Soda Bread (that wasn’t as bad as I thought) and we got to enjoy some Kitchen Beer towards the end of the evening.

IMG_2838Once Again I peeped the Band from the warmth of a bar. It doesn’t make you a bad person folks

IMG_2839Yeah Liam doesn’t look to happy walking on 5th Ave

29342288_10160367060855599_4058328705326894732_nAll Hail Caesar! FYI Can you see over Skippy’s head? Yep they had a small electrical fire at the school so they called in one of the only sober engine companies to investigate. Talk about pressure they never had 200 folks tell them they were doing it wrong!

29313302_10160364266510599_98311120442347841_nThe Band circling up

IMG_2843What can I say, those boys like to drink some beer.

IMG_2849What is a Saint Patricks Day without an Irish Car Bomb? This was taken on Sunday at Allie Way and no this wasn’t ours.

Hope you had a great weekend and are not reading this from your attorney’s office because your dumbass got a DUI.



Living The Rock Star Lifestyle Here

Clubs, 3 Michelin Star Restaurants, Partying till 4AM on a Tuesday Night/Morning what a week I have had this week….wait who am I kidding here? My ass starts wants to head to bed by 10:30PM each night. We had a busy week given it was a snow day on a Wednesday. On Friday night I met up with UWS Holly, Mrs. Trumpet and a school friend for some wine before they went to musical. UWS was heading to New Jersey and I was heading to the UES to do laundry. Yep Friday night and who do I have a date with? Tide Pods, Bounce dryer sheets and a good stiff Tito’s and Soda. I made that laundry my bitch by the way!

Saturday morning we got our Fresh Direct order so I was up early. After giving a shout out to “April the pregnant Crab in Baltimore” on the Book of Face I decided to do a little spring cleaning. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees Saturday morning so any outdoor activity would require a lot of clothing and lets be honest – I AM FUCKING OVER THIS COLD WEATHER! I mean it is the friggin 12th of March, could we at least have mid 50’s for a high?

I took the dogs out, fed them, shaved my balls & back, I fixed breakfast for Mrs. Trumpet, then I decided it was time to clean out some closets. One of the great benefits of this 535 square foot apartment is that we have killer closets. It isn’t the walk in beauty that RJ and Mallory now have at 595 in Memphis but we are very lucky. Anyway I decided to tackle the entry hall closet, Shobo’s purse closet and then the attic (you wondering what the hell I am talking about) storage area. Yep it was a busy Saturday.

One would think that if you have already downsized one wouldn’t have to do it again for at least 5 years. Well nope, my goofy ass filled a suitcase that would cost over 200 bucks to fly domestic and I haven’t’ even tackled my own personal closet.

IMG_2808Wine Flights for 12 bucks at happy hour? Now I wonder why Mrs. Trumpet picked this place.

IMG_2812Pay no attention to the “Maintenance Wine” or my fancy La Croix bubbly water?

IMG_2813The Purse/Sweatshirt closet

IMG_2816The Attic/Back Room where we store all of our $hit. Yes those are gallons of water in the top right. We have to use distilled water for our humidifier (THAT WE STILL FUCKING HAVE TO USE IN MID MARCH!)

IMG_2817Since we just got rid of our larger suitcase we are now down to 2 carry on pieces of luggage.

IMG_2818The Office/Guest Luggage Storage/Beach Chair Storage Area/Monkey Head Bedroom

Bored yet? Yep, that was our Friday and Saturday. RELAX Folks, next weekend is the Super bowl of drunken drinking or as the Irish call it – St. Patrick’s Day. I have already spoken to my St. Patrick’s Day date and she is ready to drink with guys who have swords with me. This year is a bonus since this St Patrick’s Day falls on a weekend so Mrs.. Trumpet can join us this year for the whole drunken episode.

Sorry Folks, That is life in our Rock star lifestyle.


Finding Memphis Food in New York – Some of you are a bunch of Titty Babies!!!!

Yeah I called you a snowflake, snowflake. I mean come on Memphis….You let a silly 5 year old tweet and article get your panties all in a wad because someone threatened your beloved BBQ? I mean lets talk about some serious fucking issues……

I am kidding folks, slow your breathing. Now that the ‘preview’ part on my two social media platforms picked up those three sentences I can come clean. Much like that ill fated tweet I do hope that I can get a bunch of clicks by people who actually think I was serious. Sorry if some of you think that I was serious about that. I have said it before and I will say it again;

“Trying to Find Memphis Barbeque in New York City is much like trying to find a New York Bagel in Memphis.”

That tweet on Sunday was a perfect segway into my point today. We love eating up here in New York. The different cuisines, the different flavors, the 3 Michelin Star restaurants it is something that you can’t explain in 500 words or less. One such cuisine that we have not really found up here is Cajun/NOLA Food. We tried a Bourbon Street joint near restaurant row a couple years ago and it was horrible. On each trip back to Memphis we would immediately head straight to Bayou Bar and Grill or Second Line to get our fix but there had to be a good option here in New York. 2 weeks ago we were Sunday Funday’ng up on Second Avenue and were talking to some fellow patrons and they recommended a joint up the street at Second Avenue and 90th called The Infirmary.

I made a mental note and this past week I was in the area and popped in for a quick bite. The Menu was straight Cajun/NOLA, they had poboys, catfish entrees and even had Abita beers. The bar reminded me of the old “Sleep Out Louie’s” and Original “Bayou Bar and Grill” white marble and it didn’t smell of stale beer and bleach so that was a plus. The food was killer and we will be back!

IMG_2769Bar and yes they have Frose for you fancy people – Old SOL Alums – recall the frozen Margarita Machine?

IMG_2771You have to respect a joint that has not one but two Absinthe vessels.

CajunInfirmaryNYCRoastBeefPoBoy.0I mean have you ever tried to eat a poboy with a raging hard on? It was fierce I tell you!

IMG_2773“Brunch is Bitches Robo” Alex from the Cigar Inn

IMG_2772Catfish, Fried Chicken, Oysters, PoBoys, Shrimp and Grits, its all there folks!

IMG_2770Cloth napkins, Crystal Hot Sauce – Life is good my friends.

IMG_0917 (1)So they lack Sides and don’t believe in proper sandwich buns, some of you guys are just mean I tell you! They do have a good smoked Pastrami up here that is pretty good.

Hope you had a good laugh and got to the bottom of this post before you are blasting me on Social Media.


Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I know – Bonus Tuesday Post!

I am guessing that some of you are wanting a refund because I am blogging so infrequently these days. With all due respect when we don’t do much on the weekend it really doesn’t make for good blog material. Last week Momma was busy with a work trip and I had a training downtown so we really didn’t do much that weekend. Now this past weekend we didn’t do much but I was able to get out and about a tad.

Anyway here are some bonus pictures on a Tuesday

IMG_2759Got to Love Thomas Keller and his joints here and on the Left Coast. This was posted at “the pass” at his French Laundry restaurant.

IMG_2765Already spoke to my Mermaid Parade Date for this year. She is going to bring out the crown again!

IMG_2781Look at the focus that Red Dog has right now. What you don’t see is that Mrs. Trumpet has a slice of cheese in her hand. Maya is a cheese whore to say the least.

IMG_2777Why am I on Brain Detail?

IMG_2758Sent this to A-Cup because not only is it a damn shame that they make vegan hot dogs but that someone is going to spend $6.00 on this is a real shame. I guess cardboard is expensive.

Have a good day!

Man Time Flies

One of the only redeeming qualities of Facebook these days is the “On this date” part where you can see what you posted on this day for up to 10 years. On the 5th year of this past week we were across the pond for our good Friend’s wedding. Yep Papua New Guinea Mike and Claire were married 5 years ago this past week. Naturally we wished him congratulations and a text thread started with a couple of the boys. I didn’t want to remind anyone but in the past 5 years the following have occurred;

  • RJ & Mallory sell the Flophouse to Jenna
  • We sell 595 to RJ & Mallory
  • We then move to New York to drink with the Asian Fireman & Mr. 3 First Names and be an hour from Pepe.
  • RJ & Mallory go to +2
  • The Asian Fireman and the Real Estate Tycoon can’t be outdone and go to +3
  • Pepe and D3 go to +1
  • PNG Mike – MAKE SURE THAT CLAIRE DOESN’T DRINK THE WATER!!!!! Mrs. Trumpet has been drinking bottled water for the past 5 years.

734287_10151619122299928_599437964_nKegs and Eggs with the Lads. See all those Dark Liquid Glasses that are in front of everyone. That is English Coffee.

IMG_2766Right after that the Bar decided it was “Last Orders” because the Americans were swinging an invisible jump rope.

482274_10151634510739928_890101125_nIf you see this man and he says “Lets do a shot” you run like hell!

554896_10151634511129928_1783965562_nOh Look PNG Mike “Iced” down some beer for us.

526799_10151634511054928_1136011644_nMike and Clarie’s English Garden – We will put in an outdoor bar at the fenceline!

555064_10151634511259928_589787889_nI am only posting this so that the Asian Fireman and his wife can save it and we can torment Wee Fiona when she gets older and starts to date.

10554965_10152729330539928_1140361562_nBack when all 3 of these boys weren’t procreating.

I think that we need a return trip to Big Smoke soon. Anyone up for a field trip?



Pictures of the Week – Happy Fish Friday Folks!

Shout out to my favorite Pseudo Catholic R A B – She does loves Lent more than Brown Water Season.

So last weekend I was down in the count with a sinus infection and I guess because I live in the petri dish of society (aka New York) I am not any better. I was coughing up a storm this evening sitting next to Golden T (see what I did there TG) at dinner and she was concerned. I assured her that it was self induced and I would be back to my cigar smoking self soon. Regardless here are this week’s (it has been a short week) pics of the week. And I apologize if you are stalkers of mine on Instagram because you may see some repeats.

IMG_2739This is the equivalent of Krystal’s up north. And they ship them in a friggin box of 30!

IMG_2740So those two guys in the middle of the picture…yep they are twins and they just celebrated 45 trips around the sun. Oh but one of them is going to Memphis for Memphis in May BBQ Fest. So Staten Island S Squared (see did what I did there again) you want to be my date that weekend? I got “A Guy”!

IMG_2741Sunday we ate well on some Sunday Sauce

IMG_2751Not sure what is more frightening. The Tribble (Star Trek reference) on LJZ’s purse or the carpet at the Downtown Marriott.

IMG_2753So if I may bust some chops now. I had no idea that the A**** F****** was on tour. Photo Credit to Air Traffic Jenna

Have a good weekend folks. It’s been a wild week for us. I am looking forward to having a Sunday Funday one of these days.


New Joints in San Pedro

As I reported EARLIER we visited some new joints while down in San Pedro. Also on our visit we got to see some new improvements to some of the ones that we saw when we were down 2 years ago at Easter. I hear the grumblings of people all the time; I miss the hand drawn ferry, it used to be much quieter, so much traffic, and so on. Hell, the bad thing is that the majority of that comes from the bitter Ex-Pats who we hung out with on the Poker Run north of the bridge on Saturday.

Sorry Folks but San Pedro back in the early 1980’s will never happen again. Change is inevitable and it can either be good change or bad change. I am not going to open this up for discussion but personally I think the change on San Pedro is for the good. More people means more money, more jobs, more housing, and more infrastructure. Sure I miss the bumpy ass roads north of the island but do you know how nice it is to make it to Truck Stop without having to stop to re-adjust your balls?

I have friends on the island who tell me that business is booming and people are wishing to buy property on the island all the time. I say we should welcome them with open arms because with that extra cash flow maybe someone can put in a full time hospital or clinic on the island. It isn’t a big secret that “One should never get sick in Belize” so maybe this will be the next big thing. I still recall when there wasn’t a hyperbaric chamber on the island and this when there were dive shops going up every day.

IMG_2705Here is Crocs north of the bridge. A huge 3 story sport bar/restaurant that has killer views of the back of the island.

IMG_2694I have to hand it to the owners and investors of The Truck Stop. Huge gamble but they are printing money hand over fist. Great concept (shipping containers aka food stations) and since our last visit they added 2 more containers, built a stage and even have a friggin pool out back. Staff is wonderful and we wish them the best. They really are a great addition to the island.

IMG_2695Family Feud Night!

IMG_2696Picnic Tables in the middle and plenty of seating.

IMG_2697Great family place to bring the kids too!

IMG_2725The old Standby – Estel’s by the sea. They added a bigger bar (this space used to be Charlie’s dining room table) and the staff as always is top notch!

IMG_2704Talk about re-purposing something in San Pedro – This is the urinal from Croc’s

IMG_2702I snicker each time!

IMG_2713Like a Phoenix re-birth from the ashes The Palapa Bar is back! Here we are working our poor friend Rony to death and also twisting the jealousy knife into the backs of Bill and Roxanne a tad too!

IMG_2718What you can’t really see is the Stage 2 Sunburn on this poor girl or that she did a pretty good job belting out some Janis Joplin

IMG_2706One thing that should always stay the same is the shrimp sticks at Blue Water Grill. Still as good as the first time we had them!

IMG_6605That and Kitty, she never changes!

IMG_2693There is always one couple in the bunch!

Not pictured: Wayo’s New Joint over the water or a bunch of new places north of the bridge. Including…….wait for it………an Irish Bar! Don’t the friggin Irish have enough places to drink already?

Last Monday I was in Belize!

Sorry for the lack of posts from last week. I learned something very important from a whirlwind trip down south and back. My 47 year old ass doesn’t bounce back from 4 days of boozing to roll into work like I used to do. I need to start planning some “rehab” days following those trips from now on. Or I just quit making it a point to drink with Kitty, Dita, Rambo, Islenutt, Otter, Otter’s wife, Jean, Ruthie and some others while down in Belize!

It was a great trip and it was great to see some of our friends and family. Granted the 80+ degrees and sunshine sure as shit helped but we had a blast. We got to eat at some of our normal haunts; Wild Mango’s, Blue Water Grill, Celi’s Deli, Truck Stop and we got to see some new joints on the island as well.

This trip we tried a new joint to lay our head at night and I have to say that the Conch shell is perfect for those who want simple accommodations and to be in town. We found our room to be perfect for our trip and just outside of the Carnival “Painting Zones” that can be trouble if you aren’t paying attention. Thanks to Kitty Cynthia Angelica for procuring the room and as luck would have it I got to speak to my Belizean Mother (Flora) on the phone last week when I was trying to pay for the Tropic Flight. Anyway here are some pictures from the trip.

IMG_2723Monday Morning I am sitting on my veranda with a cigar (of course) and I see the kids heading to school. Talk about a helluva commute.

IMG_2691You don’t see the Nissan Vans painted Taxi yellow very often in San Pedro. We asked him how much it would cost to take us to 1st Ave and 71st street.

1E0182E0-54C0-4392-9F4E-CCDA478270E7Bitter Sweet – We were walking by Carnival Saturday night when they were dedicating this year’s Carnival to Felix Ayuso who was tragically murdered last year. The proceeds of this shirt were to go to his charity that he worked so hard for; Aids Awareness. I pretty much emptied my wallet for the $10US shirt and told them to keep the change. Dance on Felix, Dance on!

IMG_2701The Sargasso (stinky seaweed) was pretty fierce this trip.

IMG_2698Drunk Chinese Food goes together like Fat Kids and Chocolate Cake!

IMG_2721All is right with the world, I got to hang with Ruthie and Chunky!

53999038645__49EE116F-19B7-479C-B781-2D1364D039CFI “may” have had a couple of these while down in San Pedro.

IMG_2724Almost got my ass divorced while down in Belize. No Otter and I didn’t get caught checking out the girl who was sunbathing with only dental floss for bikini bottoms. (oh wait was that supposed to be a thought bubble?) I promised the wife that I would procure her a Chicken Tostada from Celi’s Deli. Albeit it was for breakfast on departure day but I got her some.

IMG_2679You can’t feel the cold but it was a brisk 34 degrees on Tuesday the morning we got up from Belize. Next time I am bringing more money and we are staying longer.

It was great seeing everyone; including those who were calling me out on golf carts for not seeing them yet (I see you Yas) and next trip we will stay longer.

BONUS SUNDAY FUNDAY – Pictures of the “Past” Week

Between Corny Lenten Jokes (which I might add I am getting a lot of suggestions from my FB friend’s children) and getting back into the swing of things I have been busy. Add to that I came down with a nasty cold and was out of commission Friday evening and all day Saturday…By the way Momma now has what I have and is enjoying poor health. This weekend was very, very low key. Here are some pics that I didn’t use in this weeks blogs post.

IMG_2722Weather the Morning I got up that we were to head back to New York.

IMG_2700The best cigar of the day should always be smoked before 8AM

IMG_2714Love me some Charlie and the DH Folks

IMG_2685The Day before our departure in New York

IMG_2699Stark difference 24 hours later if you ask me.

IMG_2728When we landed in New York. Feels like 26 pretty much means “kick in the balls” cold

IMG_2730This is just mean

IMG_2734New Joint that opened down the street from us. The yellow sign is hard to read but it says “QUESO” and it blinks to “UES” so it has to be good.

IMG_2731Needed some ‘light lunch’ on arrival day. It tasted like shit.

IMG_2732Back in the US and our huge apartment

IMG_2738Any Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt fans out there? Filming down the block on Tuesday.

Have a good week and make it count. I am going to Netti Pot my nose again.