Happy Monday Folks! And don’t let your eyes fool you. You are actually reading a past weekend post on a Monday. Like I said last week, Geranium is away all week and I got left alone on Sunday afternoon. Also The Murphranks were out of town so instead of having some Sunday Funday I worked on this worthless Dribble.
This past Friday Vivian coordinated a field trip on the Circle Line Boat Tour for the WFUV Disco Boat Cruise. Or as My (former) Work Wife (The Domestic One) said to me; “Oh you are on a booze cruise.” This past Friday we had bonus because not only was it a Friday the 13th but it also was a Harvest Moon. Let me tell you. Seeing a full Moon on the Hudson and East River….it Fucking Rocked.
Now while we were snapping pictures I couldn’t help but notice how sharp and clear the pictures on Della Forte’s Samsung foam. I realized right then that I would ask her to send me some pictures so I promptly put my phone away and decided to drink cold beer instead.
Here are some great pictures from Friday Night.
Have a good week and be nice to each other. Except for Brett Kavanaugh. He is a rapist and should be put in shackles. Debate me on this. I dare you.
Is that too much imagery? Sorry to some of you who are cleaning up hot coffee off your ifoam but I am about to do something I have NEVER EVER done in my Social Media life. I am going to use this blog to call Bullshit to a business that is screwing people left and right and they think they are doing us a favor.
Seriously and I apologize if I am going to turn a couple people off because of this post. Personally I think it is kind of of a dick move to trash a company on social media and not get their side of the story. But here is the issue guys and gals – They won’t give me a straight answer and refer to some policy that they have to follow. Let me tell you what happened.
When we went to the Redneck Rivera I had to travel solo as Geranium was flying from Seattle and she was going to meet me in Pensacola. Traditionally I always book air travel through the airlines directly because I have never had any issues. They also are great about booking me on a flight if I get stuck or a flight gets cancelled. This trip since we were needing a car I booked through Expedia and did a bundle. I was able to get the car a tad cheaper even though the flight was fairly expensive. It was a direct flight so I really didn’t care too much.
Getting down to Pensacola wasn’t a deal and even though I was delayed on the ground in Newark no issues.
The return however, was eye opening on how Expedia and what I now have learned all other booking companies do with their customer service. For the return flight back to Newark our flight gets cancelled. It happens. Now I am on the phone with United Airlines to get rebooked. They inform me because I didn’t book directly with them I have to contact the booking company so I am on the phone with Expedia for about 20 minutes.
I get skillet on the phone and explain that my flight is cancelled and I would like to be booked on the next flight. Meanwhile Geranium has been automatically rebooked on a flight tomorrow because she has some serious airline privileges with United. I on the other hand do not so I am still on hold with skillet. He informs me that because the flight has been cancelled he can’t help me get on a new flight but will refund my money for the cancelled flight.
Then……and here is where I almost cause a fucking scene in the airport. He has the balls to ask me if I would like for him to book me on a flight tomorrow. I ask him what if this flight gets cancelled for whatever reason will he do the same thing and give me credit but I am shit out of luck? He says yes.
I ask for a supervisor, there isn’t one. I take to Twitter and Direct Messages and get no solution. Seriously I am now stuck in Pensacola and now have to shell out over 7 bills to get me home. I book my return directly with Delta since the United flight that Geranium was going to burn miles to get me on was now sold out.
I was pissed. I still am pissed. That is why I wanted to wait at least a month to take my anger out and post on Social Media. I want all of you out there, all 15 of you, to know that if you book though a booking company like Expedia and if something happens to the flight you are screwed.
Ok Rant over but seriously Expedia – Go Fuck yourselves.
I hope you at least had a laugh at my expense. Book Direct Folks. Don’t be a dumbass like Carbunkle Trumpet.
Last week I got one of these notifications that 4 years ago that it was my last board meeting at HW/AMF. I started to think to myself that time has flown by. It was just yesterday that we were hanging at the South Bluffs pool having our Friday board meetings and the Horners only had 1 kid.
Looking back over the past year it has been a whirlwind with Tons of Travel. In no particular order;
St. Louis for Missy & Kristina’s Wedding (September)
Northwest Arkansas for Hogs/Bama Football weekend (October)
Geranium made 3 trips to Japan, Germany, Spain and France
She also has made a bunch of trips to Seattle. Either she really loves the Starbucks coffee and flannel or she has a side piece over there. Oh wait her new momma is domiciled there.
Memphis for Christmas
Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas (January)
London for a Quickie Weekend (February)
Weekend Trip to Cryder Hollow (March)
Quickie trip to the Fun Side of the Wall before Geranium headed to Switzerland (April)
Geranium headed to the land of Swiss Army knives for a month.
Trip to Barcelona over BSMF weekend to see Geranium
Trip to Geneva over WCBCC weekend to see Geranium
Trip to the Redneck Rivera to hang with the Horner’s and their 2 kids.
We also made our yearly pilgrimage to Per Se for Christmas. We made a trip to Philly for a Christmas party and had some fun times with our friends over the past year too.
It is still the best decision moving up here we ever did.
So Before anyone gets on my ass for lack of postings first I have to say LAY OFF! Geranium can’t decide if she wants to burn Atlanta like Sherman or go out west and wear flannel. So she is doing both in a 36 hour time period. Meanwhile I am still in a tick for tat email exchange with those Bastards at Expedia. Oh and we are leaving town tomorrow for Philly for a one night appearance and then back in town on Sunday for baseball during the day and then later rednecks. Here are some pictures from this past Weeks vacation.
Anyway the next 2 weeks are going to be busy for us. Tomorrow Philly, Sunday Baseball then Hank Jr. Next week Geranium is going to be in the exotic location of Summit New Jersey for training and next weekend we have a Carl Lipbalm Caddy Scholarship winner arriving.
I am kidding. You probably have heard me speak of my friend SanPedroScoop down in San Pedro Belize. I featured her on my Fellow Bloggers You Should Follow when I was running that piece a while back. If you don’t know who she is, she is an ExPat who lives in San Pedro. She also writes a really great Belize Travel Blog that I have referred people to her blog when they ask me about going to Belize. A couple of weeks back I was watching her Instagram Stories and she made a couple of cryptic comments about doing something big and she was ready for this project to launch.
I message her and ask her what the hell she is up to and she gives me the scoop. Wait, I just realized it, I got the Scoop from Scoop. (ok yes, that was cheezy AF) But she trusted me not to spill the beans. After all her boyfriend and I do go to the same Gynecologist on the island. That is a true story by the way. Moving forward…. Rebecca informs me she is hoping to launch the book as an E Reader for Kindle in June and then later have paperback and maybe hardback copies. Being the Diva that I am (I can be a pain in the ass tormenting her with pictures of bagels and flavored seltzers) I inform her I want to get 10 copies in soft back and I want them autographed.
It is no secret that I love San Pedro, I love the country and I love it’s people. When someone asks me about what to do and or where to go I figure there is no better reference material than a book. Oh and since she is originally from New Jersey I can also say “I got a guy”!
In all seriousness, I am very proud of what she has done. I am very proud of what she does for the tourism on my favorite little Caribbean island. Oh and you can bet your sweet ass I am getting some books autographed in November in exchange for some Murray’s Bagels.
Congrats Rebecca – Now to you dozen readers of this worthless dribble…. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK! BUY 2 OF THEM! ONE FOR YOUR iFOAM AND ONE FOR YOUR iPAD!
Saturday was Monkey Head Maya’s beauty appointment with Not Yolanda in the UES. Yes my dog is so bougie that she still keeps her regular girl in the Upper East Side even though we live in Brooklyn. I guess she doesn’t want a bun or wear a pork pie hat. Anyway after I drop off Maya I then head down to have a cigar at my old stomping grounds at Cigar Inn.
A couple of hours I am heading back to Brooklyn with a clean and nicely cut dog. Now while I was leaving the Cigar Inn to get the dog I noticed that the First Avenue Street Fair was in full effect. Considering I was a tad hungover from the night before I thought that Geranium and I should come back and walk around. Considering I didn’t have anything planned for the day and I was craving a Pronto Pup and an Italian Sausage sandwich.
I am guessing the Pronto Pup and Sausage guy didn’t get the memo because for 12 square blocks there was none of that to be had. Corn Guy, Arrepa, Gyro and a bunch of other non-fair food tents but What The Fuck First Avenue Festival planners? You going healthy on us?
Would it kill a Street Festival to get a Pronto Pup Stand Up here?
Now I have to come clean with you 15 readers. I really enjoyed my trips over to Spain and Switzerland to see Mrs. Trumpet. But what I am about to tell you may shock some of you. I really enjoyed being somewhere that has their shit together when it comes to the environment. Relax, I am not going to be chaining myself up to any trees or will get involved in the ongoing debate about Tom Lee Park in Memphis. I am referring to the way that in both Spain and Switzerland they have their shit together with recycling and the banning of plastic and Styrofoam.
Case in point – my corner deli and frequent breakfast haunt. While
I was living the bachelor life I would head down there and get me some eggs,
bacon and sausage. I would get a single use Styrofoam to-go container, take the
container to be weighed and would have to almost yell at the cashiers; “I don’t
need it in a bag or any utensils” and they would look at me like I told them I
wanted to sleep with their sister. All I was doing was walking upstairs to eat
it at the apartment and I have all that shit here. Why do I need to create more
waste if I don’t need to?
If I got a San Pellegrino, they would be trying to put that in
a plastic bag and also throwing in napkins and a straw too! I can’t fault them,
they are ingrained that everyone wants a bag and everyone needs a knife, fork,
spoon combo kit. Seriously, how many of your offices have that drawer with all
the ketchup, utensils, soy sauce and millions of napkins. The worst are the
food delivery guys. You are delivering to a residence, I bet if you had an
option to not get all that crap with the order maybe they would knock 50 cents
off the order. Whole Foods does that if you BYOB.
When in Switzerland on Saturday morning I ventured out to get
hydration supplies. Traveling 10 hours and then drinking enough booze to sedate
a small city does tend to make one thirsty. I walked out onto the plaza and found
the Coop supermarket. 3 big 1.5 L of water, 2 Coke Lights and I was ready to
go. I get to the cashier and she looks at me asking if I had a bag. With my
limited French and her lack of English she informed me that they don’t have
bags and I have to bring my own. Try carrying 5 big bottles with a Class 3
Hangover two blocks and not drop anything. Was I kinda steamed? Yep. Why don’t
you carry bags Coop Supermarket? Oh, wait why is the Ugly American bitching?
Shut the Fuck Up Carbunkle Trumpet and do better.
When they announced the ban on bags here in New York you should have heard the people bitching. “What do you mean I have to pay for a bag? This is an outrage!” Personally, I think that we should all adopt the Aldi Supermarket model. Use a quarter to rent a cart and you bring your own bags or buggies. Think about it, for all of you bitching about the Kroger on Union Avenue how nice would it be with no carts being left in the parking lot? Sure, the number of bums waiting to take your cart would be epic but that solves a lot of problems there. The plastic bag issue….I now carry a couple of the plastic shopping bags that can be balled up into the size of a pack of golf balls. This also limits me on picking up all the big stuff and I am making the environment better. Now I can feel no remorse when I am clubbing the hell out of that baby seal!
Ok, I am nearing 650 words and I know that some of you are losing interest.
I am sure that some of you are wondering What In The Cornbread Feck I am doing posting on a Sunday? I can barely type on some Sundays and now I am posting on this worthless dribble today? I am blaming Geranium (the woman not the plant) *Shout out to Jean-Jean the Dancing Belizean Queen for making me snort the other day with her comment* on making me get up at the crack of ass of dawn now 2 days in a row. I am thinking that she has given me her Switzerland Jet Lag!
So yesterday the aforementioned in the title gathered at Greenwood Park for some Libations and Laughs. I have not visited some of the Memphis haunts that I see people talk about but I equate it to Loflin Yards or Railgarden (thank you GurleyGurl) as it has been re-purposed and turned into a pretty cool venue. Oh did you think I am going to show any pictures of us wearing our Superhero capes from yesterday? Nope!
So I got back from Barcelona. I got over the jet lag. I spent last weekend more or less chilling on the couch with the dog and managed to do a little ‘celebrating’ with the Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names. They got the final approval and permit on the remodel job they have been doing since this fall so we had some drinks to celebrate. Last weekend was great and very much needed after spending 18 hours traveling to a +6 time zone the weekend prior.
On Monday, Geranium informed me she made a mistake and a Marley Spoon food delivery slipped through so I should expect a box arriving on Monday. If you are familiar with the food meal plans out there you can get as many days as you wish and can pick the number of portions per meal. We are a 2 ass house so we get 2 meals X the number of days with Marley Spoon. Normally there are enough leftovers for Geranium’s lunch the next day and we normally get 3 days of meals.
Problem is that I am currently a one ass house and the meal came so late on Monday that I only have 2 days to cook a 3 day 2 person meal box. I figured that I would leave one meal for our dog sitter G-Man but I would need to cook on Tuesday and Wednesday. Another issue was that my lunches the next day were going to be booked so I am basically wasting a portion. How do single people cook a meal for one person? I joke with of one of my peers who is celebrating his birthday today that his fridge is full of condiment packets and beer since they don’t cook.
I forged on and made the meal with the idea of giving the other portion away. Problem was that George the Cat’s mom was away and the Bahamians at the end of the hall hadn’t been seen in weeks. Who the hell am I going to give this extra meal to? I made the extra meal and figured that I would either give it to our building concierge Jackie or I would take it across the street and give it to one of the homeless guys in the park. Please note that I am normally hesitant to give food away in the park. By that hour those guys in the park are either going to sleep or are just getting warmed up if you know what I mean. You just don’t know how many people are going to be in the park or what stage of high they may be.
Thankfully Jackie was at the desk and she loved her some sirloin steak. I informed her that I had another meal for Wednesday so she told me that she would pass on her normal food. Last night I didn’t feel bad because I was cooking this week for at least one person. By the way, when I told Geranium who I cooked on Tuesday night for she informed me that she ate potato chips for dinner that night. #SadTromboneSound
Bring your ass home Geranium and let me cook for you!
Anyone know of a good Single person menu item/dish other than Pizza or Fried Egg Sandwiches? I have a couple more days next week.
I was trying to think back the other day when was the last time I lived alone. I had to go back to 1992 when I was living in the Shrine Building, working at Chez Philippe. and making more money than God. Since then I went out to East Memphis for a brief stint and then back downtown and started cramping Didi’s style at 71 Union Ave. Then I met Mary Louise and since then the toilet seat has been down ever since.
Mary Louise is to return back in the US on the 22nd of May until then it is going to be just me and the dog. Oh and don’t worry, I am not sitting here on the couch crying my eyes out. Vivian and Stone and I had dinner last weekend and I have a feeling that Maria and I will catch a dinner in the next couple of weeks. Of course Mr. 3 First Names and I have been out every night coming home in the early hours of the morning with Memphis in May sobriety. Ok that is a lie, he and the Landlord have been busy over there in the Slope with a remodeling job that is over halfway done. Maybe we can get some drinks next weekend.
I have been spending a lot more time at work and getting stuff done which isn’t bad for me. Naturally I have been spending a couple more hours than normal at the Gym that I belong to. The gym is over on East 73rd street between 1st and 2nd Avenue and I walk out of there needing a shower because I stink. For those of you who are not doubled over laughing need to know that the gym isn’t called Soul Cycle or Equinox but The Cigar Inn.
Oh and don’t cry for me too much. My ass is leaving this evening heading over to Barcelona to meet up with Geranium. She is going to be there for training so I figured I would crash her style and get some Spanish culture in too! Oh and by the way, when I text or facetime with Geranium she doesn’t care about me, she wants to see pics of the dog. Below are some of the pics from this past week.