Rachel and Ina are the Devil

Wednesday is the New Saturday Right?

Man O Man The Murphrank’s, Professor, Bobcat, Homeless Tim, The Asian Fireman and Wife are going to be jealous of this post.

Those previously named are in The Per Se Christmas Dinner invited list that we thankfully make the cut each year. Don’t let the fancy dinner confuse them as all high fancy folk. I mean with the exception of Homeless Tim all of them can crush Bud Light like it is their job. Actually if my memory serves me correctly we did go crush Bud Lights after this past years dinner.

I have mentioned a couple times that we have always been a fan of the Grocery service Fresh Direct. A couple clicks of mouse and BOOM someone is delivering my groceries and doing the heavy lifting. You don’t understand what a pain carrying heavy stuff around without a car is up here. Put it this way grab an 18 pack of beer and a normal grocery store haul and try to walk that shit 8 blocks in a boat tote bag. Yeah, you get the picture.

Prior to COVID-19 we could get a delivery slot for the next day pretty easy. Now days they are sold out for the entire week. This does present a problem but we know a couple life hacks to get around this.

  • Always have a couple things in your shopping cart to meet the minimum order.
  • Make this like your Christmas Wish List – All the Proteins, all the drinks and don’t be shy. You may get shut out because of inventory is so wonky these days.
  • Don’t get all pissy if you get a sub. They are trying as hard as they can and if you are one of those who bitch. Bless. Your. Heart.
  • Check everyday multiple times to see if there are some open time slots. You always take the first available slot you can get and then you keep adding to the order. Typically you can make changes to the order up until 5PM the day before.
  • You Network the Fuck out of this – Maria keeps an eye on it and so do a couple other friends.

So last Saturday Maria shot us a text that Wednesday was wide open and we needed to grab a slot. Geranium was on the laptop and she threw 3 items to make the minimum and would modify that later. She picked Cold Water Lobster Tail, Bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label and a Ribeye Steak. (who is she trying to fucking impress, its just her, me and dog)

Saturday after I got done with my chores I went in to amend the order and I couldn’t find the order. Geranium has been known to struggle with this but I am well versed in doing this on my iPad. I was able to create an order and also secure a slot on Wednesday (4.22.2020 with a window of 6AM to 8AM) so I wasn’t too worried.

On Tuesday morning we were still messing with the order and Geranium realized that the original order was still showing in there so she zeroed out those items. Honestly – We have kind of grown used to things and apps acting strange given everyone is home on their devices.

I think you know where this is going…..

So the order I placed got delivered at 7AM and the ‘guy’ was appreciative of the healthy tip I put on the bill. I mean dude was carrying 6 X 12 packs of drinks and a case of 6X1Gallon Distilled Water. He deserves much more for doing this given the environment.

Then at 11AM our doorbell rings and Geranium receives the second order. It just has 3 items but cost as much as my larger order. I just hope it wasn’t the same guy.

It is pretty easy and you can get pretty much all that you get at a Kroger or Aldi’s
They ain’t setting foot in your house and you can’t open the door until they leave.
Booze is delivered downstairs but with food being perishable they have to deliver to the door.
Seriously we have been shut out for like 3 weeks in a row. Carrying Soda Water is a bitch!
We got Cut on SpaghettiO’s with meatballs but I made this shit rock!
FYI – This was Geranium’s Go-To Meal during Chemo
Don’t hate the Player….
Hate the Game!

Dinner was fantastic and doesn’t everyone eat Surf and Turf with expensive ass champagne on a Wednesday? LJZ is going to be pissed at me for not sharing the bubbles or the lobster!

And Just A Reminder – There Are No Rules in a Pandemic! If I Could Have Gotten White Truffles I Would Have Done So!

Saturday Dinners

In an effort to save a little money since we are about to go on vacation we have been cooking a little more at home. Also with Geranium being on the road the last thing she really wants is food from a restaurant. For my inspiration on new dishes I have been reading Jose Andres’ book “Vegetables Unleashed”.

I really like the book and the recipes in it because cooking foods that are from a different culture really opens you up to new flavors and tastes. It is no secret that I started cooking from watching the chefs at Chez Philippe when I was a waiter there. “What do you mean that you don’t have heavy whipping cream in your fridge? How the Fuck am I to cook?” Yes I was trained to cook Classic French Cuisine. Thankfully the food shows gave me some balance but with “Vegetables Unleashed” it really puts you on notice.

For the menu we made a couple weeks back included;

  • Miso Roasted Asparagus (before this I had no clue what Miso was)
  • Microwaved Cacio y Pepe (Parents you need to make this for your kids)
  • Sesame Yogurt Corn on the Cob
  • Jose Andres’ Famous Beefsteak Tomato Sandwich
  • Lots of Wine and a little Tito’s
Seriously Go buy this book!
Tomatoes are getting good up here now!
The makings of the Cacio y Pepe (which is more or less Mac and Cheese with Corn or Peas)
Doesn’t this sucker look good. Holy Crap I made a dish with no meat or fish.
Finished Product. The Corn is really good and is different
Asparagus getting ready for the Broiler

Apologies to Taco Girl who probably just fried her laptop because she was drooling on her keyboard.

Best of Luck to The Second Generation Italian Society

Due to Geranium wanting to travel all the time we will not be able to attend this years Italian Festival in beautiful Crime-Free Marquette Park. We had talked of going but she was not scheduled to be back in New York until late Friday night. The team has been together for I want to say 27 years and the festival is celebrating 30 years as the main fundraiser for Holy Rosary Church and School.

Good Luck Guys!

Stolen from GrainBin Girl
Ah the year that Geranium (who does not look happy right now) and I squared off on who makes a better Gravy
I hear that it isn’t supposed to Rain this year. That is great considering it rained every other fucking year!
Ahh the Full Week In Europe or Knee Surgery for Monkey Head Maddy. I was prepping the Gravy to serve to the masses at the house and she was laid up cripple.
Oh there is no rain, bring your flip flops guys.

Let me know if you need more Paper Towels, Trash Bags or Red Solo Cups!

The Stereotypes of London

We have all heard or even mentioned them; cold & rainy weather, shitty food, warm beer, bad teeth, no ice for drinks, I could go on for days. Honestly, to visit London/The Big Smoke in late January/early February you should expect the above mentioned weather. The weather last weekend did have temps in the mid 30’s with Rain/snow on Friday however, on Saturday we actually donned sunglasses with temps in the low 40’s and Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday. To get snow in London is like getting snow in Memphis….the city shuts down. Papua New Guinea Mike told me to be ready for delays but thankfully the Tube was running fine on Friday morning from Heathrow.

Regarding the food sucking, that is a down right lie. We ate some great food while in Big Smoke. Friday night Geranium and I had dinner near the hotel and found a great Brittish/Gastropub that was unbelievable. Saturday while watching 6 Nations (I will get to that later) we dined on traditional Fish & Chips and had a wonderful drunken food Saturday night meal. Sunday we ate in China Town with Jimmy’s Mum and Pop and that evening we found a great restaurant in Covent Garden.

Regarding the last of the stereotypes; making fun of the English for having faults is like Americans acting like our Commander in Chief is a normal fine upright citizen. Yep, we definitely didn’t leave London hungry or without enough to drink.

Traditional English Breakfast – Baked Beans, Tomatoes, Mushrooms, Sausage, Eggs sadly no Black Pudding today.
Braised Ox Cheek and Hasselback Potatoes – This was good
Ahem DR – Look they have their coat hooks eye level and they are just fine where they are. It is time pull the trigger and get hooks at Lisa’s bar!
Shepard Pie (yes I know its boring) but this dish was featured on one of the Andrew Zimmerman food shows and it was devine
Skirt Steak and Caramelized Onion for Mary Louise (we had Mac and Cheese and other food)
Normal Tap Water by UK standards
Look at all that ice in my “Soda Water” and notice where that Lime is. NFL My Friend!
Thank God we brought our shades. Background is the Queens Pad.

I will put out a couple more posts to annoy some of you!

Brisket 101

So if you recall my previous blog entry (no not that one with the picture) I said that we have been really enjoying the recipes from the “Cook This Not That” book which lead me to peruse a Beef Brisket recipe that I had to try. I had made my grocery list and accomplished just about everything except finding some Champagne Vinegar for a recipe that momma wanted to make. I have always heard of my Belizean buddies bitch about having to go to 6+ stores to grocery shop because of price or quality, I can empathize with them as I went to Kroger West Memphis, Ghetto Kroger on Cleveland, Midtown Schnucks, Pig on Madison Ah Screw it Momma will just have to go without!
We had great weather on Sunday so I fired up the Egg as off I went into the kitchen to prep and get things ready. I started reading the directions and right off the batch I was in disbelief of what it said;

  • Preheat oven to 325 (wait did I just read that correctly?) Let’s try it again shall we?
  • Preheat oven to 325 (What the Corn Break Fek!)

I have to admit I almost threw the book in the trash as I have done brisket in the past and had some success but start the cooking process of a brisket in an OVEN? Sorry “Cook This, Not That” but I would rather my little sister be a whore or a St. Louis Cardinals fan than use an oven when cooking brisket!
Anyway I compromised and used the indirect heat method in the smoker rather than waste electricity and it came out ok. I really did like the marinate as it had a good taste but next time we will do the CBT way and see how that turns out. Ok to the pictures;

There it is folks, I even circled it in Red! Blasphemy!

I prefer to put the dry spices on the night before so they can soak in and it makes a great crust too!

Got her in the pan and about to add the beer that I borrowed from my neighbor

Looks somewhat refreshing you know!

You know I think I may try a sip of this beer stuff. I hear that people in Maine, Persall Texas, Kansas City and even Canada like it.

Nope better stick to my iced tea!

Wait what’s that straw doing in there? Get that out of here!

Ketchup, Cider Vinegar (that is wildly available at all the stores I visited BTW), and honey.
Try it, it wasn’t bad and added a bit of a kick.

See what happens when you don’t smoke something right off the bat? Tasted ok but I learned my lesson.

Mashed taters in the middle and a Artichoke Red Pepper salad that was missing Champagne Vinegar as an ingredient. Not a bad meal.
Oh and for the record as you have always heard me talk of disdain about a certain chef who has her own cooking show that refers to Extra Virgin Olive Oil as EVOO? Well my second least favorite chef is “barefoot” and refers to her husband who’s name is Jeff as “Jeffry” like a fag hag. Yep you guessed it, the Artichoke/Red Pepper salad was from her collection…..
TTK!

Brisket 101

So if you recall my previous blog entry (no not that one with the picture) I said that we have been really enjoying the recipes from the “Cook This Not That” book which lead me to peruse a Beef Brisket recipe that I had to try. I had made my grocery list and accomplished just about everything except finding some Champagne Vinegar for a recipe that momma wanted to make. I have always heard of my Belizean buddies bitch about having to go to 6+ stores to grocery shop because of price or quality, I can empathize with them as I went to Kroger West Memphis, Ghetto Kroger on Cleveland, Midtown Schnucks, Pig on Madison Ah Screw it Momma will just have to go without!
We had great weather on Sunday so I fired up the Egg as off I went into the kitchen to prep and get things ready. I started reading the directions and right off the batch I was in disbelief of what it said;

  • Preheat oven to 325 (wait did I just read that correctly?) Let’s try it again shall we?
  • Preheat oven to 325 (What the Corn Break Fek!)

I have to admit I almost threw the book in the trash as I have done brisket in the past and had some success but start the cooking process of a brisket in an OVEN? Sorry “Cook This, Not That” but I would rather my little sister be a whore or a St. Louis Cardinals fan than use an oven when cooking brisket!
Anyway I compromised and used the indirect heat method in the smoker rather than waste electricity and it came out ok. I really did like the marinate as it had a good taste but next time we will do the CBT way and see how that turns out. Ok to the pictures;

There it is folks, I even circled it in Red! Blasphemy!

I prefer to put the dry spices on the night before so they can soak in and it makes a great crust too!

Got her in the pan and about to add the beer that I borrowed from my neighbor

Looks somewhat refreshing you know!

You know I think I may try a sip of this beer stuff. I hear that people in Maine, Persall Texas, Kansas City and even Canada like it.

Nope better stick to my iced tea!

Wait what’s that straw doing in there? Get that out of here!

Ketchup, Cider Vinegar (that is wildly available at all the stores I visited BTW), and honey.
Try it, it wasn’t bad and added a bit of a kick.

See what happens when you don’t smoke something right off the bat? Tasted ok but I learned my lesson.

Mashed taters in the middle and a Artichoke Red Pepper salad that was missing Champagne Vinegar as an ingredient. Not a bad meal.
Oh and for the record as you have always heard me talk of disdain about a certain chef who has her own cooking show that refers to Extra Virgin Olive Oil as EVOO? Well my second least favorite chef is “barefoot” and refers to her husband who’s name is Jeff as “Jeffry” like a fag hag. Yep you guessed it, the Artichoke/Red Pepper salad was from her collection…..
TTK!