Pictures of the Week

Shelter this in Place!

So here is the deal. We owe it to our fellow man/woman to sit our asses in our houses for as long as it takes to ‘flatten the curve’ Fucking Period! Bars are still open? What in the actual Fuck? I spoke with my brother in law last night and he said there are over 5K cases of COVID-19 up here in New York (remember we don’t watch the news). Stay the Fuck Home Folks! I am serious, take care of yourself.

Laugh, stay off the news but stay home! I was speaking to Tay-Tay this evening via Facetime. She is a fellow Tour Bus ticket seller and we were comparing notes on selling tickets to NOBODY! Gang this is serious stuff and if you think it will ‘just go away’ then you are as dumb as folks in government. Anyway it was so good to see her face.

Speaking of face – Ladies and Gentlemen if you can’t recall the last time you took a shower or shaved then you need to put your nasty ass in the shower RIGHT NOW! I think is safe to say that Geranium, Lady Barrister or Bobcat haven’t put on a bra in 5 days. Ladies am I wrong?

Here are pics from Friday. Again, stay the F home!

Willie Nelson and his boys! I am so glad I was told about this concert.
And a little Neil Young too!
Paul Simon, Edie and Woody! Not sure who that kid is on the left.
Casual Friday!
“Who is that in the background?”
“That is my wife, she is also working from home.”
“But I don’t understand…”
This person was speaking to me from their 5K square foot home.
Bitch – I live in 500 square feet! My house is smaller than your garage!
Social Fucking Distance yourself! This is the line to the package room.
Love a good Happy hour with the boys!

Quit Texting people. Drop a dime and call them.

Captains Log – Day 2 of living in 500 Square Feet in Crime-Free Brooklyn

So I think that strange times require strange and different methods. I have always a been a fan of posting a barrage of pics from my phone on Friday’s. I call it “Just the Pictures” and it gets little to some press. Given that the entire US is (if not already) on quarantine people may need something on Social Media to smile about. I mean unless you really enjoy seeing crap from people cursing the Left or the Right. Chill folks!

So what I am trying to accomplish here is to put a smile on your face. I want my off day posts to be a place for you to come if you are down or need to get a 5 minute escape from this madness. I am putting a disclaimer out there now – These posts may be a lot of Apartment 38R so I am just warning you.

Truth – I fear that these next couple of weeks if not months are going to get really bad for some people. I know that I now find myself taking quick 5 minute breaks looking at Instagram or my favorite blogs waiting for conference calls or for reports to run. Sometimes I may go grab a diet coke, I may take the dog out to go pee. I may even smack Geranium on the ass while she is on a conference call. Guys and Gials – everyone needs a quick escape from this madness. We are writing a chapter that none of us have ever dreamed about. Shout out to TacoGirl who reached out to me with a great Social Distancing pic that I will use one of these days.

Now let’s be honest, do you really come her for my badly written grammar or run on fucking sentences? I saw Brother Joel McGraw, FCS tow (sp) weeks ago and I felt his scorn for my on regularly badly written blog. Without further adeau;

This is Command Central for Those Double Decker Bus Tours. Yep we are in uncharted times these days but by God we got to keep going.
See the close proximity I am to Geranium’s Bed Pan Cleaning Company? My Gawd! We may need to think about a partition. I showered, shaved and even put in hair gel too!
For those of you that know our “Invisible Kid” he is now stuck at home. Here he is doing his homework in the executive office. This dumb fucker hasn’t realized he has an Alexia in there to help him spell Skool or Kat.
Maya is not fooking happy with this!
Guys, I don’t watch the news up here but this is proof positive that complete strangers are looking out for each other. Oh and we live in a 55 floor building too!
Walked down to my favorite Fort Greene Bodega and they were full of stocked shelves. Anyone need Bodega Sushi?
We have plenty of Baked Goods up here too! No reason to hoard!
So speaking of hoarding we have decided to stop using Paper Towels in the house. We now have our wash bucket out and when a towel becomes MOIST (S/O to Kaylee, Lana and the Hot Asian) we chunk them in here and wash them periodically. Saves on Paper Towels.

So guys, start being nice to each other. Send a random texts and love all!

Pictures of the Week

So here are some remaining pics from Memphis and other pics on my foam.

While we were at W&D’s house waiting on our Uber to the party these two knuckleheads were coming home from a day on South Main. Bonus!
This Knuclehead! We thanked Lisa Marie for letting us hang with her mom and dad in Mexico!
The airport is kinda quiet on a Sunday Morning.
I saw this pic and I hope to God it isn’t Budha or anyone that I know from down in New Orleans.
Wow, this is going to be just one big parking lot soon. Bye Terminal B!
This ‘may’ be why we missed the first flight out at 6AM. Thankfully we got on the next one!
The Former house of the Canadian, Conley and I hear the new folks are cool too!

Like I said, we will be back and spend more time, we promise.

Happy VD Folks!

Or as my friend SDS would say about February 14th. “Today is the only day that girls can dot their i’s with little hearts.” Anyway Happy VD to those of you who are standing on line for chocolates or flowers. Next to the rear entrance to our building is a European Wax salon. I wondered why that place was packed Thursday night.

Me I am waiting on Geranium to land so we can go have that fancy dinner at Eleven Madison Park. Anyway here are some pictures from the past couple of weeks.

They killed the Grease soundtrack!
Bowl from the Seattle Trip – That sucker cost a pretty penny
I got my fill of Mango and all kinds of other blended love
If you could read the mind of Maya it may say “if it is raining one more fucking time…….”
That Space Needle Thing!
Like I said the Chihuly Gallery is pretty freaking cool!

Have a good weekend folks!

Pictures of the Week – Its beginning to look a lot like Festivus

Busy time here in Gotham. The Double Decker Tour Bus business is blowing and going and all of us Ticket Sellers are busy and are ready for the madness to slow down a tad. Geranium is done with her traveling and she is going to be Brooklyn bound for a couple of weeks. I hope we make it, this could be tough for us. 🙂

We are going to stay in New York for Christmas this year since Christmas is on a Wednesday and we are not really wishing to spend over 1500 to fly home for a couple of hours. We were home for Thanksgiving and it was really a lot of fun seeing everyone and we didn’t really have to rush that much.

Anyway with that here are the pictures of the week and a couple from 2 weeks back.

So great to see Windy City Pool Buddy when she came into town.
We Decorated for the Holidays!
And we have a Tree too!
Carbunkle Cares!
Happy Birthday Ba! Thank you to all those who helped Text her and wish her a Happy 70th. Even you one sick bastard who said she deserves lots of wine for having me as a son. That shit ain’t funny Former Neighbor.
Seasoned Greetings!
The Tree at The Lott Hotel
Happy Hanukkah RAB and S(Squared) By the way it starts on Sunday at Sundown.
Rest in Peace Chuy. We will miss you!
Got us a plant that we don’t have to water and apparently it will grow on its’ own. We will kill it, I bet it!
Sister Cathy taught me 8th Grade Religion. That was 35 years ago. And she is still Rocking and a Rolling.
I know that everyone is bashing the Peloton girl but wait till Geranium opens this on Christmas Morning!

I will probably post a couple more next week so hang in there folks.

Bonus Pictures of Belize (borrowed from The Windy City Brit aka Toria)

I can’t recall all the times I have been to Belize over the years. I probably have in my storage unit in Memphis over 1000+ pictures of the island over the years. I know this is going to sound somewhat calloused but I take a lot of what Belize has for granted. Obviously there is nothing better than sitting on the dock or patio smoking a cigar while the sun comes up over the reef. I can’t get that view here in Manhattan. But I notice that I put my blinders on when I am going around town and never stop to appreciate the little things.

One thing that I always enjoy is looking at pictures of the island from other people’s perspective. You stop to glance at them from your phone and it brings you back. You remember that view of the reef from a palapa. You remember the sheer terror you had as a child when Manuel tells you to get in the water at Hol Chan while the nurse sharks are circling the boat. You then pee yourself a little when you later realize that Manuel snuck some cut up sardines into your bathing suit pockets and the yellow snappers are swarming you like mad bees! I am still not happy about that Tio Manuel. I discuss this with my shrink on a regular basis.

So this past week The Windy City Brit aka Toria has been uploading pictures to her facebook page. Let me tell you that when you are suffering from a Sinus/Upper Respiratory infection those pictures bring it all back.

I asked her if I could swipe a couple and I wanted to give my 11 stalkers some bonus pictures. @Marty Casado – Feel free to post on the Pic of the day if you like. Thank you Windy City Brit, your pictures put a smile on my face this past week.

Old Rubys on the left and the Belize Chocolate Company.
I recall when Legend’s was the place to go north of the cut. Thank God some guys said “Lets put some sea containers on a plot of land on the lagoon side. Lets make it bar and food court with a stage.”
10 years ago you were driving at full speed because the mosquitos were going to lift you off the golfcart. Now there is a great place to watch the sunset and have a beer.
I want to go back. How perfect is this?
You can almost hear the reef from here.
I can never get bored of these pictures.
Little Bungalows at Secret Beach. It has been about 4 years since I was there last
Such great people who run this joint. Oh and the food is pretty spot on too!
This was me going to the store to get food for Friendsgiving today. Do I look like I am fucking happy?

Again, thank you Windy City Brit for posting the pictures and it was great meeting you and The Movie Star.

Pics of the Week Live From Belize!

Too Many Good Pictures not to post somewhere.

You Coming or Going? The Old Veteran Jet Holland!
Oh He is getting Bouchy!
Slow Your Role Tropic! It isn’t even the 15th of November and The Tree is UP?
Such a great addition to the island. Great Staff and Owners!
If you have to have a sign then there must have been an incident.
Over Achievers!
Good to See the Bronx Representing!
Note To Self – Only get on Boats that Have Bars on them!
View North from CV
The Famous Shrimp Sticks from Blue Water Grill!
Catching Up with CNN Belize Felipe!
Geranium – Please take a picture of that for me.
Me – Ok, I will but may I ask why?
Geranium – I want to make that my signature on inner office emails.
Me – Good Call
Did you know it was his birthday?
And that he is the same age as Belikin only makes it better!
View of the Pool from CV

It was a great trip!

A Mid Week And Only Post For This Week

Leaving on a big metal plane tomorrow for 17.9214° N, 87.9611° W to drink with a couple friends. I have been waiting for Otter’s 50th birthday for like 2 years and its finally here. How fucked up is that. I am celebrating the anniversary of someone who now has to get a colonoscopy. Oh well it could be worse. It could be my 50th Birthday. Can’t wait to see some old friends this weekend too!

Anyway have a good week and weekend and try to stay warm you New Yorkers. I hear that it is going to be kinda chilly this weekend.

How Many Beers did we drink that day at the Split KLC Man?
Going to eat me some good food this weekend too!
So proud of how Memphis rolled out for Game Day!
You may be from Memphis if you know what that means. Memphis AF
Its corny but hey at least it isn’t Nashville. There they celebrate Hot Chicken and Tractor Rides
Don’t Worry the Dog will be Fine!

Have a good weekend!

Pictures of the Week and a Word of Pause for you Tiger Fans on Saturday Morning.

So Game Day is coming to Beale Street. Congrats to the Memphis Tigers on becoming a relevant and respected football program. Hey I recall those Larry Porter days…yikes! But seriously I am proud of those fans who have braved empty stadiums and shitty teams. You guys have earned having Game Day tomorrow and I hope you make this former Memphian proud and roll out for this!

Now for you handful of rummy’s that I may or may not have slung a beer with in the past 10 years. Game Day, if you have never seen it live, is going to be a bit boring. They will have some spots where they will interview the coach. Do a feature on Memphis and make it a tear jerker but in a good way. The Guest Picker will come out which peaks a lot of noise, and then by the grace of God Corso better put on a Fucking Tiger head. Sad to say – The rest of the show is going to be boring. Now read my words you select few – JUST BECAUSE IT IS BORING THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO GO DO IRISH CAR BOMBS OR SILKY SULLIVAN DIVERS! You are an adult now and this isn’t BBQ fest. You have a full day of football and the game is going to be late so unless you want Liberty Bowl Stadium to resemble Death Valley down in Baton Rouge…..lay off the booze till the afternoon.

You can have a beer or two in the morning. Tio Trumpet isn’t going to chastise you for having a Bloody Mary to settle the nerves. I mean you are on Beale waiting for the team pics but please add pause to your game folks. Also do us a favor and come up with some good signs for us folks who will be watching from the Cigar Inn? My buddies will be busting my balls if we give a bad look.

Seriously have fun and when the Tigers win Saturday night make sure you avoid any TV cameras. I still have vivid memory of Didi getting on the news after the UT game. He was wearing a blue pom-pon on his head saying “We kicked their ass!” Then my dad called me the next day and asked if that was him.

You got this and I expect to see some familiar faces on TV. I will actually be going to the Memphis Watch Party on Saturday night. Hey @pcolinjr – where are we meeting again? @jensized you want to get out before the marathon? Who am I kidding they don’t read this dribble. I am excited for Memphis and am happy that those friends of mine who have been enduring the Chuck Stobart years now have a day in the sun. Can you tell us hog Fans what that feels like?

Now the pics of the week.

JamFoodie and Mr 3 First Names – What was the name of this place again? I dig’d it!
Have you gotten your San Pedro Scoop Book Yet? *Shameless Plug because I expect to not have to pay for an autograph or a selfie*
And yes RC – That is a “Immigrants Feed America” T-Shirt I am wearing!
I am glad that Baseball is over. I hate Joe Buck worse than Sean Touhy
My Football Season is over so I might as well follow a winner!
Like I said, our football teams suck!
This spoke to me!
I saw this and just laughed. Could you imagine the conversation these two had. Talk about a dual headline!

So in the words of Rocky Kasaftes’ beloved Mother – “You boys don’t get into much trouble and remember my words…Nothing good happens after midnight!”

Go Tigers!

Where have you been? We were about to put your ugly mug on a milk carton.

So before you start in on me let me explain. For the past two and a half weeks Geranium has been off the road and working from home. Trust me when I say that the dog and I have enjoyed having Geranium home. That and she also helps with the chores in-between eating bon-bons. However, with her being home I really have not had time to blog or gather my thoughts. You see, once she gets done with her work it would be kind of a dick move for me to jump on my laptop. Hence why I have not been blogging since our trip to Charleston. I will catch up.

So without further wait, here are some pics from the past 2 weeks for Pictures of the week.

These past 2 weeks have been tough for me at work. I will be so glad to see this in early November. No not the kid and her mom, the fucking picnic Table in Caye Caulker!
I bust their chops on this thing but God Bless the FDNY and all the different teams who support New York City. For those of you wondering Rescue 1 is specialty division that services Manhattan. Cat stuck in the tree, nope these boys aren’t showing up. Randal’s Island Tram stuck in the middle of the East River with passengers on board….yep these guys show up.
If you were playing and needed “Woman doing interpretive dance in a bathing suit on the Morning commute into the city” you would have a Bingo.
If you are going to be running this let me know. I know that Jen from Memphis is going to be visiting all 5 boroughs so we will go out and support her.
Like I said Geranium has been busy…..(she will kill me for posting this)
Its’ Fall Y’all!
How do you pronounce this? I haven’t gotten an answer yet.
Maya is looking at me going “Aww Fuck, she is gone again. Now he will blame his farts on me”
Tiger Fans are coming to Brooklyn for Thanksgiving. I am trying to suggest a great place that they can’t get in Memphis. I will let you know.
Finally Midtown Uniform Weather here in Manhattan!

I do thank a couple of you assholes who were checking in on me. I am back and Geranium will be back on the road for a couple weeks straight.