wedding love

Weekends in New York can really suck ya know?

You recall when I was ~~whining like a little bitch~~ talking on Monday about having MPH and I was glad it was back to work? I better give you the cliff notes because if I went went blow by blow on each night then some of you may want to have an intervention. Trust me when I say that the RJ Fun-O-Meter was pegged pretty much every night.

Friday Night was the wedding and dance recital of Z(Squared) at the Boat House in Central Park. The Asian Fireman and Realtor Wife were in attendance as well as Muphranks. The Work Wife (The Managing one) was there with her Midtown Uniform wearing husband as well as a bunch of other Time Square double decker tour bus ticket sales reps. The wedding was short, to the point and everyone said yes. The food, the never emptying glasses of wine, the band, and even dancing were a great and then when the glow sticks came out……aww shit it was on like Donkey Kong!!! Many thanks to Lady Barrister for remaining awake to navigate our safe arrival to Downtown Brooklyn. I hope that Mary Louise didn’t snore too bad. Truth be told Mr. 3 First Names and I weren’t really sleeping, we were just resting our eyes. Congrats to Z(squared) on making it legal and thanks for a great party.

Hey D(squared) at AMF/HQ on Tully Street in Crime-Free New Chicago – call me this week. I saw a really cool thing at this party that you may want to consider it for your next Thanksgiving Wedding. #RoboCares

Saturday day was spent relaxing and celebrating Mary Louie’s anniversary of circling the sun. That evening we attended the Losers Lounge rendition of Barry Manilow & Bette Midler. I learned something very important about this show. Apologies to my homosexual readers but I found out that I really don’t like the music of Barry Manilow. I mean other than Copacabana his stuff is just crap. Here is where I am going to further upset you more – any rendition of Bette Midler and the movie “Beaches” really needs to Fucking Stop also.

Sunday was spent yet again with a music theme and as luck would have it we got to hang with Vivian Longstreet and Della Forte again. We saw them Saturday night and then when we arrived at the Barclays for Phil Collins they were also in the same suite we were in. Phil Collins was great and his voice is the same and even though he was recuperating from back surgery which slowed him down a bit his 17 year old son played the Drums. Great Show and we were glad that we decided to attend the show.

Yep, we are in Black Tie heading to the event stuck in traffic

I am so glad that Mr. 3 First Names, Asian Fireman and I sat down at someone else’s table because the amount of glassware full of booze is really appalling. We all drank mineral water that night.

You can always tell a good night out by what you purchase the next day for lunch. Work Wife (Managing One) got World Famous Halal guys on Saturday. We opted for $50 worth of greasy Mexican Food and a nap.

Pregame dinner and drinks before Losers Lounge

Anna Copacabana singing what else? Copacabana and it was great.

Yes that was Phil singing “In the Air Tonight” after the drum solo! Boom!

Whole Band Killing It. If you can see a show I highly encourage you to go see him.

Like I said it really was a shitty weekend in New York. I hope that we get to do it again.

Baby Fine Hair and Kristina

So you recall the bit that I did about how I come up with the names on this worthless dribble of a blog? Funny thing is that Didi and I were one of the first people that “were there” that night that BFH & K met. It was Soulard Mardi Gras and to say that alcohol was involved is an understatement. Anyway I digress so let’s get back to the current day.

So Baby Fine Hair (BFH) and Kristina decided to quit living in sin and let their babies not be considered Bastard children. The wedding was great, the food delicious, the band rocking and the drinks were strong and cold. What else could you ask for? It was great seeing everyone in St. Louis and please come on up to the Liberal New York and play with us.

Apparently Griffin is a fan of Mary Louise’s Steve Madden Shoes

Dance with Me Kathy and us! The first snowflake that hits the ground in Grand Rapids and her little ass will be in Florida!

Some of The Sikeston 5 (even though Weed was “in a much younger grade”)

This Mental Image will be burned into my subconscious for a long time. And I thought that you should enjoy this as much as I did!

Me and BFH!

Dance with Me Kathy and Scott

OTB and Ziggy

It was a fun time and congrats to BFH & Kristina!

Where do you come up with these names?

Sorry for the delay in posting. I was busy last week because we had a long weekend to the Midwest for a wedding and I am getting back into the swing of things. Oh that and Mary Louise is +13 hours ahead of me in Japan so I am running this household all by myself. What pisses me off is that Mary Louise won’t tell me the Final Jeopardy answers since she is a day ahead of me. I hate to tell RJ but I think that she has found a new Sushi Buddy.

While we were in the Midwest this past weekend I had a couple of my readers of this worthless dribble ask me; “Where do you come up with the names of the people you interact with?” Naturally I “change the names to protect the innocent or non-sober” but some of the Mo-Ho’s were asking me how I created their names. Let me give you some insight into some of the players you read on this worthless dribble;

Mary Louis/Mrs. Trumpet – Thanks To Vivian Longstreet, she penned this because it is her soap opera name. She is also a perfume designer.
Maria – She keeps her name because she is my trusted consigliere and quite frankly she knows where all the bodies are buried. Seriously, has anyone seen Trucker Jim or Box of Rocks lately? I rest my case.
The Work Wife, The International One – Well she is a work friend and that is what she does
The Work Wife, The Domestic One – Currently Vacant
The Work Wife, The Managing One – See “Work Wife, The Domestic One” because she got a promotion.
The Asian Fireman – Well his last name is Lee so you do the math here.
Mr. 3 First Names – What can I say, this Staten Island resident has 3 first names in his first and last names.
Lady Barrister/Landlord – It is what she does and she is the landlord to Mr 3 first names
Z Squared – Couples name for 2 people whose last names start with Z (this isn’t rocket science folks)
UWS Holly – Someone names Holly who may live in the Upper West Side?
Baby Fine Hair (Haven’t spoken about her lately) but this person uses a shampoo that is specifically for people with Baby Fine hair. Hey it is better than me calling her “Person with a Mongoloid Foot Tattoo”!

Now this past weekend at this wedding we attended a new nickname was created. No it wasn’t from my (So in need of therapy) brain. It was from her own Flesh and Blood…..

With that, and I will do a proper blog post on the wedding and weekend. Congrats to Baby Fine Hair and Kristina on their wedding this past weekend!!!!

Hey don’t blame me Kiki (what I used to call Kristina before this weekend) blame your brother! Congrats and we were so happy to share with you your special day!

For those of you who weren’t in St. Louis the Celebrant (the bride on the left’s brother) when announcing the names of the newly married instead of saying K—n inserted his own wife’s name, Kristina, by mistake. Me I am going to roll with it!

Welp our marriage is now legal to drink – Pictures from the week

Happy 21st Wedding Anniversary to Mrs. Trumpet for putting up with me. I knew that today was an important one because it is the code for my ATM, Credit Cards and luggage. We have some dinner reservations this evening before the 3 day weekend. Hope you all have a great holiday and I will have some new material next week. I promise.

Man we were children back in the day!

Since he posted it on the Book of Face, I figured that I could post this. Looks like my favorite Memphis Tavern is now a Rock n Roll bar. Hopefully they didn’t have to go find a Vidalia Onion like the did for Don Henley.

Here is where Mr. 3 First Names butt is going to twitch. Yep I am embracing my Hipster Roots here in Brooklyn

FYI – Target needs to restock because some asshole cleaned them out of cabinet door racks.

This monkey head is a riot! Scared to death when in the company of strangers but leave her alone and she wants to play.

We head to Jones Beach tomorrow to watch the Airshow tomorrow. Hopefully we will have good weather.

2017 in Review – What did What?

Thanks to Jensized on a great post. Do yourself a favor and go over and check out what she accomplished in 2017. Talk about an overachiever! I mean the little shit ran 3 half marathons. Hell my old ass got tired watching the one outside my apartment and I was drinking beer and smoking a cigar! No in all seriousness great job Jen on your accomplishments. You got me beat in that I could cook pretty much anything under the sun except my pancakes making skills stink.

Anyway with out further fanfare here is Carbunkle Trumpet’s List of stuff that I, we or as a group did in 2017 in no particular order.

Rode the pretty new shiny Q on Years Day from the Upper East Side to Coney Island to watch the Coney Island Polar Bears plunge into the Atlantic Ocean! You can kiss my ass if you think I am going to do that tomorrow. It is supposed to be in the low teens and the wind will be blowing like a bitch!
Ate at some nice restaurants this past year to name a few and we drank a couple beers in some killer dive bars too; The James Beard House, Peter Lugar, ABC Kitchen, Boulud Sud and Boulud Bar. Sadly we missed Jean Georges due to the shomits and were out of town for Per Se’ this year. For the Dive bars we went to a bar on recommendations from Andi and had killer frozen drinks, found the Trailer Park Bar and the Murphranks took us to a couple fun bars. Not too shabby if you ask me. I can already hear Grainbin Girl cursing me. Hey Allison, we are going to make a go of it at Rao’s. I will let you know how it turns out.
Mrs. Trumpet and I celebrated 20 years of marriage! I think we may make it, I guess we need to talk about having kids now.
Saw some stuff that I still could not explain to my parents/priest/doctor. I am still trying to wrap my head around the Coney Island Mermaid Festival and let’s not forget Elegant Elliot!
Got to dust off the Passport and got off the island. Dominican Republic (during rainy season) and Rivera Maya/Isla Mujeres
Visited 2 new cities this year and had a blast; Portland Maine and Gulf Shores Alabama.
Got to welcome Wilhelmina & Light Bulb into the world and got to see little baby Kristy get married this year! More kids to eventually wipe our asses when we get old.
Mrs. Trumpet powered through Grad School and only has 1 class left in 2018. Then her arse will be hanging a masters from NYU on the wall. I am very proud of her for undertaking this.
We made not 1 but 2 trips to the New York City beaches this summer. And its not as bad as one would think. Thanks work wife and Andi!
We dressed up a couple times this year for fun. NYPD Pipes and Drums Dinner, Marine Prom, Pigs and Pints during Food and Wine week!

God Love these folks. It will be cold as balls tomorrow!

Kicking Ass and taking names since she got up here!

I have been watching Robert Irvine’s shows now. He is great!

Love me some beach! And it only takes an hour train ride on either LIRR or MTA

The Mermaid Parade. LZ was a good sport and wore that heavy arse crown all day long!

Lisa Marie and her little sister!

You got plenty of time to have kids Doctor Kristy. We are so happy for you guys!

I still say that I won Valentines Day! Had 2 smoking hot dates that night! Hopefully I get to see the one on the left minus all these coats (get your head out of the gutter you pervs) this February down on another island below the 17th parallel.

Lobster Mac and Cheese? Why yes I will!

I go from Lobster Mac and Cheese to Waffle house. By the way does any of my NYC readers know if there is one up here? And it doesn’t take 3 subway transfers, a bus transfer and a burro ride?

This was a fun bar, it is a time machine and defiantly was staged but nevertheless it was fun. Oh and the Tots were killer too!

Happy New Year and may your 2018 be a good one! Thanks for reading!

Pictures of the Week – Mexican Style

I really need to make plans to go somewhere warm again very soon! This being cold is for the birds! Birds I tell you!

Shout out to my Minion Jason for this nugget of knowledge. “Always take a picture of your room number when checking in.” You have no idea how many times one would forget what room they were in.

Wonder why I was so thirsty on the Morning of Day 2. I need all the Water Por Favor!

My Mother has a philosophy that she never trusts a culture that doesn’t put cheese on their food. It makes perfectly good sense to me if you think about it!

Boy nothing make me harder than diamond in an ice storm than a flat top of grilled vegetables.

“I think there is way too much cheese on that!” – said no man ever!

Deep Down Ford is jealous that I am wearing my red shorts and that he and K don’t have kids because if they did then they would get some Maracas at Christmas from the Trumpets! #robocares

I am now a fan of the Hemingway Daiquiri. I had one a day. Stop Laughing. Seriously stop it!

Have a good weekend folks, it is supposed to be cold and snowy this weekend in Gotham!

The Trumpets Take on Mexico!

Aww, some of you guys actually missed me….ok so maybe not some but I know that reader number 4 sent me a message asking when I was going to get back on the keyboard. So we took off last Thursday for The Riviera Maya for 4 nights and one night on Isla Mujeres. The trip was for fun but also to see if one of my fellow tour bus ticket sales reps would ‘outkick his coverage’ and get married.

We stayed at the Iberostar Paraiso Maya resort which is one of 3 on the property. The weather was perfect by New York standards. Sure there was an overcast day with moderate winds and temps in the low 70’s but for the locals it was Ball Shrinking Cold. Shout out to my buddies in Belize who were 200 miles south of us who were bitching about the fringed temps. Suck it up Buttercup! Yesterday it was a low of 9 degrees and only got to 20 as the high but the winds were a bitch. Talk about a weather culture shock!

Anyway enough about me, congrats to JR(squared) on getting married. We wish you much happiness and enjoyed meeting both of your parents.

We got our seats at check in. They informed us that we had the comfort seats but we would be sitting behind each other. 20+ years of flying with Mrs. Trumpet and I finally get a Window Seat. Normally I am either in middle or we take 2 aisle seats.

Proof that our old asses made it to the disco at least one night while at the resort. Thanks to Romper Dude because I thought that this silly fad was just that. A fad.

I should have brought chalk to mark the walls. I never figured that place out. Granted I was sauced the majority of the time but still why can’t Iberostar have better signage?

There is nothing better than reading this email while you are waist deep in a pool smoking a cigar and drinking a Miami Vice boat drink!

Kuddos to the Iberostar for adapting this policy. No Popote Por Favor!

Tell me that those readers who were down there didn’t think it was odd with all the Mayan Porn in the bar?

Back when we went to the Barceló with ‘Lady Killer’ 3 Spring Breaks ago he would put Nutella on his waffles. He also would put all kinds of other shit on them but I tried it one day for breakfast. It wasn’t halfway bad.

JR(squared) made it official! I was disappointed that they did the “You are buying a goat” part in Spanish without the use of the microphone. They did the American Version first and then did the Spanish part very quickly following that.

I probably will do 2 more posts with the material I got downloaded on my phone. Some Good and a whole lot bad! FZ(squared) be afraid!

Planes Trains and a 40 Uber Ride

Let me just say this for the record. I know that when one travels stand-by you live by the sword and you also die by the sword. Let me also go on record saying that if I still lived in Memphis I would be lobbying for Kevin Kane, the Memphis Convention and Visitor Bureau President, to get a damn raise. If Kevin can get a group to come to Memphis with the overpriced bend you over without lube airfare costs then he is a hero. Seriously it costs the same to go from LGA to Memphis as it does from JFK to Heathrow Airport in London. Now that you know the back story you now understand why I would choose to fly stand-by to MEM from LGA.

Getting there is normally a breeze. Not many people are flying on the late Thursday night flight so I always guaranteed a seat. On Sunday’s the best chance to get back to LGA is the 6:30AM Delta flight since not many people want to head to New York on Sunday. Well the flight that I was to take got downgraded. Translation – My ass got bumped off the flight by 1 seat.

So there I was; working off of 3 hours sleep and I just paid 40 bucks because of a surging Uber so going back to South Main was not in the cards. I decided to head to Atlanta and try to get back to New York that way. This was because the one that I got bumped was the only flight to New York that day. Seriously, Kevin Kane deserves a huge fucking raise! What carrier has 1 flight a day on the weekend?

So I get to Atlanta, sit on standby for 3 “sorry the flight is closed but we moved you to the next flight’ flights and reach out to Pearl’s Daddy. You see, Pearl’s Daddy knows ‘a guy’ and he tells me to fly into a ‘back city’ to get home. I get on my iFoam and find that I can get to LGA from Norfolk, VA. I hedge my bets and get to Norfolk. End of story I get home some 13 hours later.

Reason Number One why I was ‘tired’ for my trip home.

Reason Number 2 why I am ‘tired’ for my trip home. Bender you have a pass.

4 flights home = worth it!!!

Last message I sent to Momma. She was starting to wonder if I was going to Belize.

Hello JFK!

Love the E to the Q to get home!

All in all it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Thankfully I got home and got to see the Monkey heads.

The Trumpets return to Memphis for a Wedding

Remember in the wedding scene from the Godfather where Luca Brasi is rehearsing his speech for Don Vito Corleone? Yeah that never happened this past weekend but since this wedding was the daughter of my good friend Guido, I had to throw it out there. The groom isn’t even Eye-Talian but that is ok. I am relieved to know that Dr. KD-B will never have to worry about changing a light bulb in the overhead light for the rest of her life. <inside joke>

The wedding was downtown in the South Mail district and for me to try to recap the wedding vows, the first kiss as Mr. & Mrs. B, or the father – daughter dance…..I just can’t do it justice. We have known the bride and her parents for many years. Heck Dr. KD-B was one of our first dog babysitters when she was high school. To see her graduate from High School, University, achieve her Doctorate, and now get married to a great guy is very satisfying to Mrs. Trumpet and I. We wish the bride and the groom much happiness and hey Dr. KD-B; remember Uncle Robo’s response when people ask “when are you going to have kids?”

The Father of the Bride

Guido and his sister T

Damnit, even in Memphis I can’t get away from those M’effin Bagpipes!

The Emerald Society of Memphis and The guy who lives 100 miles from me but we only see each other 1000 miles of our respective homes.

“If you know the past you can predict the future” – Where’s Pepe?

A Memphis Balanced Meal, Ribs, BBQ Nachos, Beans and a Salad (I have to be healthy you know…..)

Rule 1 for the Groom – If Momma Ain’t Happy then ain’t Nobody happy.

Rule 2 for the Groom – She may be shorter than you but she shoots better than you

Rule 3 for the Groom – Laugh each day and always kiss each other goodbye & good night.

One of the best Father Daughter Dances that I have every witnessed. Kuddos to Guido

South Main Residents – Past and Present

We wish you much happiness Dr. KD-B!

The Father of the Bride made this Steam Punk Contraption. And after hearing his advice it made perfectly sense.

Hey BD – You remember Rule 1? When Dr. KD-B starts asking at Labor Day for the Christmas Tree to be set up feel free to pop this song into your iPod. The Bride loves this song! #TrustRobo

Congratulations to K&B. We love you both and we wish you many years of happiness.

Congrats to ABG and Kato!

My apologies because this was to have been posted 2 weeks ago but a bad home wireless junction box and my travels prevented this post from being published. You probably have heard me make mention or seen posts about my exploits as a Carnie. To describe it to someone who never has experienced this type of event work it probably could said best by my old boss Jack D. “It is the best of times and it is the worst of times, all at the same time!” You learn a lot about yourself and those who you work with when you are sleep deprived, stressed to a breaking point, sunburned and in need of a shower. Sometimes you are thankful that it is raining so that “you can’t tell if those are tears streaming down your face or just rain.”
I had ‘gone into battle’ with the above named 4 times when I was living in Memphis. It was the first year of doing a corporate sponsorship at WCBCC that we were finishing up on Saturday night when it dawned on me something was up. They wanted to stay in the park to go have a drink in a neighboring BBQ tent instead of leaving with the group and ride on the golf cart to our cars. One of the employees asked why they wanted to stay in the park considering we logged 80 hours in 5 days. I remarked “Dude you didn’t see it after being in the park for 4 nights? They are in love.” Needless to say, he didn’t think that I figured it out that quickly. I told that employee that when you put that much stress on a person you can a lot of mannerisms that normally are guarded. That and I caught them kissy facing each other in the trailer one morning.
I have known AB and Kato for a while and I love them both to death. Sure, there were sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye on occasion but we kissed and made up, carnie love makes one do that. That and if Kato ever screws it up, I know “a guy” and one phone call is all it takes! I do kid. Congrats on your marriage and new life in Eastern TN. Don’t be a stranger and you are always welcome up here in NYC anytime you want. Kato just to let you know; you can’t drive the put-put dirt bike up here so you will have to fly up here instead.

I took them into Tom Lee Park as Children and they emerged Carnies! God I am bloated!