Subway Happenings

Lets Go To Cobble Hill In Brooklyn For Hot Italian Beef that Rivals Chicagoland….

There is one thing that will happen when 2 of my ~~favorite stalkers~~, I mean followers read that title. I am going to get the stink eye for this post. The first stink eye is coming from from Iuka’s own ABD. She is screaming at the top of her lungs…in that cute southern accent. “CBT TURNED INTO A FOOD BLOGGER!!!!!” You are now redeemed ABD. The second one is from my dear Windy City Pool Buddy. I know that right now while she smokes her Marlboro Light n her patio in 10-degree weather that she is not going to be happy with me!

I saw on the Twitter some news about an Hot Italian Beef Joint in Cobble Hill. We used to live there and it has one of my favorite Rainbow Bagel joints on Smith Street, so I decided to take the C to Hoyt/Schermerhorn and then transfer over to the G.

Let me just stop now and tell everyone that I have never had a Hot Italian with Cheese and dipped from Chicago. “Do you hear me Windy City Pool Buddy?” Maybe this summer after we move you can take us to a couple of these joints? In all seriousness I am now a fan of Hot Italian Beef. I also acknowledge that one does not find authentic Memphis BBQ in New York like one can not find good NYC Jewish Deli food in Memphis. Therefore I am probably going to blaspheme to all of Chicago.

Lets get to the pictures.

But first lets get a 30 minute back/30 minute foot rub from my favorite village day spa. Oh and its $45 bucks too!

Remnants of using mass transit during the bad times

How many people have stood or sat in this subway car over the years. Think about that gang because this car has 5 more years left of service in her.

They filmed Michael Jackson’s Thriller video here.

Bobbie’s On Smith Street is where you want to go..

I realized that I needed to eat this here instead of taking back to Manhattan.

It was just now that I have realized that I got boinked because I didn’t get cheese or hot peppers on this. I feel like I am back at Heavenly Hoagie and Pete was having an off day.

Hey Windy City Pool Buddy – Can you teach me about this no ketchup thing? Thank You

Fun Fact – The G Train is the one of 3 lines that does NOT go into Manhattan. This line serves Queens and Brooklyn and is only 5 trains long.

Geranium was away this weekend so Maya helped proof some of my Croatian posts.

So this years Carl Lipbalm Caddy Scholarship Winner deferred to the winter. She also asked if she could come up with a friend to see the ballet. Kiddo, you are always welcome. Come back so you can finish The Met. I failed to mention to you that you should come in the summer after you are >21. That way we we can go drink on the roof of The Met and look at the park and the city. It is a top 5 view in the summer. We love you and tell your sister she will get the same treatment.

So I think that I may have started a new trend with Saturday Sandwich Trend. There could be another post that has a trip to Curry Hill for some Jewish Deli food. Oy Vey.

You Need To Pamper Yourself Once In A While

Loose Translation to the above Title….I am going to get some hate mail from my Staten Island and White Plains team members. You see they are dads of beautiful children and are actively involved in their lives so they spend a lot of weekends being taxi drivers or coaches. I do remind them when they tell me about their weekend plans that I plan on sending another case of booze to the urologist who did my vasectomy as a Thank You. Sorry DE and S(Squared) don’t hate the player, hate the game. Same for you Asian Fireman.

Weekends prior to the Panarama were sacred to Geranium and I. She was on the road and would celebrate being a homebody and would veg out watching her crap TV. I would venture to a cigar lounge to bust balls with the fellas but we would always have a nice meal together either out or home later that evening.

Last weekend we had plans to go into Brooklyn for some Saturday Shenanigans with the Landlord but both Geranium and Landlord were feeling under the weather. We collectively decided to lay low since this upcoming weekend we have a Fancy Dinner Planned. Sorry Grainbin Gurl – you are going to hate on me some more because this place is off the hook that we are dining on Saturday. Anyway with Geranium on the couch this past Saturday, I figured that I needed to get out of the house to give her some veg out time. Mind you the weather right now in New York is mid 30’s and cold as balls.

Now here is where S(Squared) and DE are going to start saying “That Mother Fecker” because this was my agenda today; massage, Italian hero, Cigar and then dinner prep. Lets get into the pictures shall we?

Rocking the Comfy Adidas Track Pants on a very cold Saturday.

Get that big Arse up and head into Greenwich Village on my million dollar ride. AKA – New York Subway System. I will add that I didn’t get stabbed or pushed onto the tracks.

Head up to West 8th Street and find this Gem. Yes I found this place thanks to @Livschreiber on TikTok I learned about this place. This has the Best 30 Min Foot Rub and30 Back Rub in town.

Oh yeah S(Squared) is texting me now. Same for brother DE

Following my Back Massage I start making my way to Bleeker Street. What is that at the end of the street? Dago Heaven

On the Grocery List – Pork Braciole, Prosciutto Bread, Beef Short Ribs, San M Tomato products, and maybe an Italian Hero for Lunch.

Right now I have a weapon because if any of those Fentanyl people approach me I am swinging this 10 pound bag and cracking skulls.

It was also SantaCon so this fella was taking a good nap with great snoring. #BlessHisHeart

The Italian Sandwich *Please note that this was taken on Monday so there is some bread sogginess but still it is a great sandwich.* I forgot to take a pic on Saturday because I was hungry.

Massage, Foot Rub, Sandwich, SantaCon Sighting – I need a Cigar!

Now it is time for Dinner Prep. Braciole and Short Ribs bringing them up to Temp.

With a nod to Frank P. I made Rao’s Famous Prosciutto and Peas. Seriously it is good and you should go find the recipe

Hope you have a good weekend and sorry my brothers from another mother for this blatant rubbing it in your face. How about I take you to lunch the week between Christmas and NYE. Just no Steakhouses I blame that for the cause of Panarama. Love you guys.

The Best of New York by Carbunkle Trumpet

Another subtitle of this post should be “Your sisters ass! That is not the best!” because I am going to get some potential comments from the peanut gallery.

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend and that nobody is learning how to open up ketchup bottles with their elbows or feet. I came up with this post a couple of years ago and I figured that given we have moved 4 times in almost 7 years I have a ‘fair’ understanding of some of the “Best of New York” So lets get into shall we…

The Best Bagels in New York (Might as well upset the apple cart right off the bat) with this category.

There are some who say that H&H is the best.
There are some who say that Best Bagels on 37th Street is Number One
Staten Island Sam swears that there is a bagel joint over on the island of Staten that is worth taking the ferry.
Former NY/NJ resident San Pedro Scoop swears by Murrays in Chelsea.
Other notables are Tompkins Square, Tal Bagels, and Bagel Works in the UES
However, I feel that the fellas over at Smith Street Bagels in Cobble Hill Brooklyn edge everyone out by a hair. Make sure you order – Everything Bagel, NOT Toasted, Scooped, Scallion Cream Cheese, Add Lox, Red Onion and a bottle of Hal Seltzer. (You are welcome)

Best Deli/Sandwich Shop for a Hoagie/Hero (I am not debating the name here folks)

Defonte’s in Red Hook Brooklyn (first lunch I ever had in New York) is right up there. So good
Katz, Pastrami Queen, Ben’s Kosher – I could spend hours on this this one.
I tried Pisillo Italian Panini on Nassau Street and that also is a good one as well.
Tourists swear by Rupert Jee’s Hello Deli next to the Ed Sullivan thanks to David Letterman but I have not tried it.
I have not been there but Cugine swears by John’s Deli in Brooklyn. Same for Federoffs Roasted Pork in Brooklyn.
I am not even looping Lenwich or Pot Belly into this category, stay in your lane.
But in my Humble Opinion down in the West Village is Fiacco’s On Bleeker street is the Best. The Italian Hero is so good as well as the Chicken Cutlet, Fresh Mozzarella and Roasted Red Peppers. Also if they have the Roast Beef with Broccoli Rabe get that as well.

Best Place to Take Out of Towners on the Cheap (if you have one that I missed please speak up)

Staten Island Ferry (hear me out Mr. 3 First Names before you blow up my phone) for cheap 2X4’s of beer that you can drink on board and you get a great view of the Statue of Liberty and lower Manhattan.
Long Island City over in Queens or take the Tram to Roosevelt Island – here you can get killer views of midtown Manhattan and it is a very nice place to walk around.
Double Decker Buses originating from Times Square – We have done this a couple times and I have to say you get an audio tour of Manhattan as you travel either uptown or downtown. You can also hop off but I would suggest you don’t because you almost never get back on the bus.
Times Square/Brooklyn Bridge – if you have to go there then do it in the morning when the crowds are not as prevalent. And yes Native New Yorkers despise going into Times Square. Probably at the height of the pandemic it was so strange to see it so empty.
Again I could go on for hours but I think that (and you have to study up) but when the Metropolitan Museum of Art has a special you should go during the summer and check out the rooftop on a Friday.

Best Dive or otherwise Classic New York Institution Bar (so going to take shit for this one from SO many) Now this category is very dear to my heart because I love me a good Dive Bar. The translation of a dive bar can be loosely categorized but to me dim lighting and a certain je ne sais quoi of the smell makes a dive bar. Oh and cash only bars too!

Rudy’s in Hell’s Kitchen – Look for the pig on 9th Avenue and get a free hotdog
Jimmy’s Corner in Times Square (yes I am going big balls here folks) best cheap drinks in Manhattan and thank God his son kept Jimmy’s open after we lost him to Covid.
Iggy’s in the UES – spent many a time in this one folks. It reminds me of Max’s Sports Bar but on Steroids. Oh and they have Karaoke at night too!
Billy Mark’s West – Bourdain loved this place
Subway Inn – Another Bourdain favorite and very good at Buy Backs.
Nancy Whisky Pub in Chelsea – My 6’9″ fraternity brother and I solved a lot of problems in this bar before Covid.
If you find yourself out on Rockaway make sure you swing by Connolly’s for a frozen drink.
Hanks in Brooklyn (NOW CLOSED) this place was great but they moved it to a new location and naturally you can’t re-create that dive bar feel.
Brooklyn Ice House in Red Hook or Sunny’s Bar also in Red Hook – really good dive bar
Old Town Tavern – Not so much a dive bar but a great NY institution. Old School bartenders who don’t mince words.
The Campbell – In Grand Central Station – just bring lots of cash
I literally could go on for hours and not even have to text Mr. 3 First Names or Lady Barrister for the names of the others I have forgotten so here goes. Best Dive Bar has to be Milano’s on Houston Street for that classic Beer and a Shot. Now for New York Institution I have a tie (one stole the concept from the other one so they are the same) and it goes to The Commissioner in Park Slope and Whisky Tavern in Chinatown. You can’t beat them and the staff is always on top of their game.

Best Pulled Pork, Ribs, BBQ Chicken, Sausage & Cheese Plate in New York

There isn’t one, the same can be said for finding the best bagel in Memphis TN.
No seriously, there isn’t and the same can be said for Cajun food, I have not found any that are as good as in NOLA.

So how are we doing folks? You ready to see an all out war of comments on my social Media Pages? So without further adieu Best Pizza (Slice or Whole) in New York.

Joe’s (multiple locations) have plenty of tourists flocking to them for a simple slice
John’s of Bleeker – whole pizza only and this is a good one as well.
I have heard a lot of people talk about Rizzo’s in Astoria Queens but have not been there yet. Yo Stagie and Tater’s Mom can you confirm this for me please?
Now our trusted Consigliere Maria swears by her beloved DiFara in Midwood Brooklyn and I have had this and it is a good one for sure.
Whit’s End in Rockaway is a good one, quirky but good.
Same for Grotto Pizza down the street from us but there can only be one at the top.
I have to thank our former doorman Luciano for this suggestion but NY Pizza Suprema tucked right behind MSG gave us the best slice and whole pie. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

No comments about the ketchup on my hotdog, I was at a weak moment in my life.

Hey Kid, get the F out of here with that Crap!

So feel free to let me know your thoughts, obviously I didn’t go too deep in the Best of the Best but I hope that you had a fun read.

What Do You Do When the High Is Only 25 Degrees on A Saturday in Manhattan?

To quote the distinguished Gentlemen from the Fine State of Lobsters, Lighthouses and Craft Beer.

“If you don’t spend the winter, then you don’t deserve the Summer!”

KLCMan is right about one thing. You see what I did there RMT? I am looking forward to Summer considering these past two winters we haven’t ventured to warmer latitudes to get a brief refuge for obvious reasons. Let me explain something about the winter down in FiDi. Due to the proximity to the East & Hudson Rivers plus the narrow streets/corridors the wind the temps are about 5 to 10 degrees colder in Lower Manhattan. The Term “Brick” has been used in my presence by old school New Yorkers and now I get it. Walk outside of 20 Broad without a hat, gloves and enough layers and you get hit in the face with a cold ‘brick’ and it isn’t pleasant. Seriously I don’t know how people live on the Shore or Rockaways because that is some cold stuff.

This fine Saturday I was in need of a haircut from my “guy” Isak and I figured that I would spend some time enjoying a cigar at the old clubhouse. My barbershop is up on 74th and First Avenue close to our first apartment in the UES. Some of you have asked me how far some places are to travel. If I said that it was over 100 blocks that doesn’t equate to Memphis folks. Or if I said that it was 7.1 miles, hell we don’t drive so that means little to us because we judge everything by blocks. Roughly to get my hairs cut from Broad and Wall Street it is going to be a 32-minute commute via the 4/5 and 6 train with a 15-minute walk to the Barbershop on First Avenue.

We have lived up here for almost 6 and a half years and navigating the subway is getting easier and easier. Please note – I know damn well enough not to boast, because tomorrow my ass will get distracted by a chicken and I will end up heading to Brooklyn instead of uptown and the train will get stuck for 30 minutes because of a disruptive passenger at Hoyt Street. I need all the Karma I can get. When our friends visit us they do enjoy not having to pay attention to what stop or which direction the train is heading and just follow our lead underground.

After some abuse from Isak and his son Mark for not seeing them since Thanksgiving (Covid) I left with my ears lowered but more importantly the ear hairs and eyebrows were tamed. Next was to the Cigar Inn for a visit to the humidor which is at 54th and 2nd Street. If you are still paying attention that is 30 city blocks and 1 long avenue on foot. Bear in mind it is still 25 degrees and the wind is not being nice. The subway is not really a good option because of the location and on the weekend the bus schedule gets long so off in a Jiffy Cab I go.

To be back at the Cigar Inn was surreal, weird, and a relief that all the old Chooches were still alive. It was good to catch up. They pretty much all retreated to their vacation or Florida homes at the height of the Panorama given that these guys have more money than you want to talk about. You are required to show proof of vaccination so naturally the ball busting of “is that real or you get that on Canal Street” is plenty, but everyone was in good health, and all vaccinated up.

No that is not my Whip. We see lots of these now days, but I would go Ass over Teacup if I rode one.

Subways are fairly empty still. They get packed at Rush Hour, but everyone plays by the rule and wears a mask correctly.

The Old Stop – After traveling to other stations I realize how Ghetto this station is and in need of rehab.

The old Building on First Avenue – We do miss this place for sentimental reasons and if you are wondering, yes there are barber shops down where we live but I am faithful to my Guy and would even come in from Brooklyn. I also work this area so getting a cut was easy in pre-panarama days.

Heading to the Cigar Inn on Second Ave. I did realize I didn’t get a picture of getting my hairs cut but nobody wants to see my selfie ass in a barber chair. And Isak would probably chastise me for it too.

Been a while since I walked into this door. It was good to see everyone and catch up. FYI – They call me “Kid” because I am younger than the majority of the crowd, but they are a good bunch.

Lots of Room and given that people are smoking cigars in the middle of a Panarama we try to be respectful of everyone.

Doesn’t this remind you of the old Wendy’s Restaurants? Oh and those overstuffed chairs are very comfortable too!

Looking towards Second Avenue. Incidentally the E73rd Street location closed about 7 months prior to the start of the Panarama due to a broken Smoke Exhaust. The rest of the building is residential, so they had to close that location. It will reopen one of these days given that retail inventory is high.

I keep telling Isak that I am not paying him to color my hair grey. He jokes that it is on the house.

Anything else you want to know about down here in Lower Manhattan? Bear in mind there is a Bomb Cyclone supposed to hit this weekend so we may have a snow post.

I told you I was running out of Material Up here!

I am glad to know that in the middle of a Pandemic the East Village still has their grit!
You keep it funky East Village and the same for you Lower East Side!

Why is he starting out with a picture on his blog today? So that picture above was sent to me by Sweet Melissa the Bama fan who happened to be raised by LSU parents. Yeah, you try to figure that shit out.

I replied back to her – that I wished it was me because the last time I set foot in the borough of Manhattan was 43 days ago. I admit that I try to keep my Subway awareness sharp and repeat the subway stops from say Nevins to say Grand Central in my head. (Nevins, Borough Hall, Bowling Green, Wall, Fulton, Brooklyn Bridge – City Hall, Canal, 14St – Union Sq, Grand Central – 42nd)

This then led into a discussion of how NOLA residents were coping with not having the first week of Jazz Fest. I mean all the food, the culture, and the fun but thankfully WWOZ is streaming Jazz Fest on Alexa. The old neighbor (God I bet her recycling is off the charts right now) was informing us how she now pulls up to grocery stores and they load her groceries in the back of the car and she goes on her merry way. Same for Lowes and Crawfish runs for Sweet Melissa. Welcome to the new norm.

Ok I have tormented them enough. Please notice I didn’t anger the AGM/my old prom date. I don’t need a Pucci Ban right now, I got enough shit on my plate.

So yesterday we didn’t really feel like doing much. I let Geranium sleep in because, well she loves her some sleep. One of our goals during this is that we are trying to reduce our carbon footprint and also conserve food and reduce our waste. Recall that Post about our Fresh Direct FU? So we, on that order, got cut chicken and for some reason we got a head of broccoli.

We decided to make this Broccoli slaw recipe that Geranium makes and we both like. Sadly we needed a red onion, shredded cheese and carrots so we figured we would go this morning since it is shitty weather and yesterday was a nice day and the streets were packed. Yesterday I was taking Maya out and also swinging by Wright & Goebel to get some more rum that I ordered online. I ran into our 38th floor neighbor who was heading out. She asked if we needed anything from Brooklyn Fare so I took her up on getting those 3 items. What can I say, New Yorkers are getting pretty resourceful.

You know if this is going to be the new normal, Geranium and I may think of moving to someplace cheaper and with more square footage.

Melissa said it was great weather yesterday.

I can empathize with her. Geranium and I are craving oysters right now.

Distance from her spot to the fence yep that’s our apartment.
Disclaimer – I actually enjoy looking at peoples yards and pools. I find it therapeutic.

Building is 33% occupied and one of our fucking high rise elevators is on the fritz?
Would someone please return the “Brady Bunch” Hawaiian idol back to its rightful place and end this shit?

So what are your COVID-19 Hacks? I think I have mentioned that I am going stale here.

For Example – I heard if you clean your glasses with white foamy shaving cream it will help prevent them from fogging up. It actually works.

Shoot me a message and I will post them.

And thanks Sweet Melisa for letting me post your pictures. When this is over I am coming there and we are going to drink like its our JOB!

We Are NY Tough

I was standing outside waiting on the dog to pee Thursday morning and I felt a subway rumble under the sidewalk and it almost startled me. I hadn’t seen a subway platform for over 28 days. From my “office” I can see the B & Q train on occasion going over the Manhattan Bridge but that’s it. We are now 26 days in lockdown and I am starting to forget the little things that make this city so great. The things that normal people skeeve that are just part of life for New Yorkers.

So there is a video clip that someone made of Cuomo’s speech. I encourage you to go seek it out. It is titled “NY Tough” grab a tissue it will put a tear in your eye.

There are two parts that really hit home. “You have to be smart to make it in New York“ The Second part is equally strong “And because we are New York Tough. We are tough, you have to be tough. This place makes tough. But it makes you tough in a good way. We are going to make it because I love New York. And I love New York. Because New York loves me. New York loves all of you. Black and White, Brown and Asian, Short and Tall, gay and straight. New York loves everyone. That is why I love new York.” Incidentally Maria informed me that I got my New York Pin so I guess I got that going for me.

So I put on my reporter hat and asked a bunch of my fellow New Yorkers (via email, text, Instagram) a question – “Once we get out of this what is the one thing you are going to do?” I will start off;

Carbunkle Trumpet – I plan on sitting with the old Chooch’s at the Cigar Inn on Second Avenue and smoke an Arturo Fuente Opus X ($75 a stick) hell I may smoke two of them at the same time! I might even debate the Chooch’s about Trump. (highly discouraged as they are all red hat wearers)
The Notorious N “M’effin” G – Make a reservation at Carbone and have every single person I have ever met over to my apartment to pre-game.
The work wife (The international one) – I am going to day drink by the pool or beach with no social distancing and then go out to eat every night for weeks because I am already tired of cooking every single meal.
My Cubical Roomate in the West Village – See my friends and do whatever we can as a group. Oh and join you on Second Avenue too!

I recall a baseball game right after 9/11 and they showed the back of the camera and it had this sticker. This is my iPad stand I put that sticker on it on Friday March 13th. That is the last day that New York was normal.

My Haitian Brother from another Mother not wishing to be from PA – Talking to everyone on the Train at Grand Central and having lunch with my work brothers and sister at Sophies and Blue Smoke and drive the kids to school. (he has 2 young ones and a wife that works in a medical lab – make sure you pour one for him)
Tarheel M(squared) – Drink an overpriced iced latte on my way to boozy brunch in the East Village then day drinking all day!
Shawneen from Middle Village – I am going to visit my family and hug and kiss them with no fear!
M(Squared) the former work wife (the domestic one) – Response pending
The Cruise Queen – Going to a nice restaurant after I get my hair done.
Geranium’s Work Wife – I am going to head down to Paddy McGown’s Pub drink buckets of Busch Light cans with friends and sing along (way out of key) to all our favorite songs on Touch Tunes.
Don Bruni – I am going to hop on a plane and hit an island somewhere. Work phone in a lock box in my bedroom.
The Credit Queen – I am going to NEVER again get pressured into buying ginormous amounts of toilet paper. Drink more prosecco, pay attention – really pay attention at Mass.
Bikinisareforever – Yankees Game
Asian Fireman – Going to the Rambling House for a proper pint of Guinness.

Rush hour on the Manhattan Bridge – Yep that is a FedEx Truck

AB the LSU Tiger Fan – Go to Nat Sherman for 2 Metropolitan Host Maduro Hyde and smoke it in Bryant Park while enjoying a few 24oz Ice Cold Corona Mortar shells and polish off a few dirty dishwater dogs. YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR HIS ACCENT WHEN YOU READ THIS.
Bobcat – Peter Lugar Steakhouse in Brooklyn and see her sister
The Professor – Swing by 773 Dive Bar, Palace Dive Bar, Connie O’s Dive Bar and Call Box (yep you guessed it another dive bar)
Homeless Tim – Fried Chicken at TAK Room and sit down and eat it properly. *he got that for Takeout when he fled the city for CT*
Lady Barrister Murphrank – Commissioner, Fausto, Osteria Morini (Italian Joint in the City) as that was the last place she ate before the city went on pause.
Mr 3 First Names – A repeat Trip up 5th Avenue (its a FDNY Pipe’s and Drums band thing)
AV The Russian – Take the subway anywhere and have a nice boozy brunch outside at a restaurant while touching every single person I see.
AV’s Momma – After I give my daughter an unending hug and shed some tears, Ima getting a huge juicy burger and eat it down by Battery Park across from the Statue of Liberty. I LOVE THIS ONE
Flynn Shady – Drinks at Down The Hatch in Greenwich Village and a slice of pizza at Joe’s,
PC the Memphis Fan – Queens Comfort in Astoria and get rousingly drunk at hip hop brunch then walk it off along the East River.

I don’t know what scares me more. That Z(squared) will get one of these guys if they are having a bad day. Or I will get one of them if we are having a bad day. I am kidding because no mater what they still have to go into work. God Bless you Boys!

The Cousin – A Bouie UES Brunch at Penrose with my girls!!!!!!
UWS Holly – Well it won’t be ‘go see Hamilton’ because her tickets are for May 30th. She will go to the 105th street dog run with the Ellington in the park outdoor café.
Maria – Bloody steak at Peter Lugar in Brooklyn
Gumata Jennie – Joining Maria for that Steak
Rhino – A great meal from Maria and Inga
LJZ – Stupid Expensive Cocktails on the roof of the Peninsula then sipping champagne at Tiffany’s with her personal shopper.
F from Z(squared) – Playing Dominos at the Ear Inn and drinks at Oceana.
JP on the Island of Long – Head to the Gym then Beach. I’ll be in a NY state of Mind.
Tay-Tay – Mani/Pedi, then a Swedish Massage and flying down to Florida ASAP for the Big 3-0!
Vivian Longstreet – Raoul’s – having a martini at the bar served by Franko then I’m having dinner in a booth. I will start with 6 raw oysters, then steak au Poivre and finally the profiteroles.

Asshole to Elbow getting a pic of Manhattanedge

Ty Middelton – Go to my Tailor and pick up the Rick Owens Suit I had altered. Then head over to Caviar Russe for Vodka and Caviar.
Ty Webb on The Price is Right – Response Pending
Name Withheld to protect the innocent – JG Mellon’s in the UES for a bloody Mary, Bowl of Chili and a Burger.
The Bartender – I am going to hug the F Train!
San Pedro Scoop – Murray’s Bagels for a Sesame with Lox or Maple Walnut Cream Cheese naturally Untoasted
Brizzyc – Wants to go to Kettle of Fish for a Packers Game! I miss being with FANS!
Grantmeaccess – Anything to do with Beer!
Mary Louise Geranium – Find a Gospel Brunch and ride the Q Train into the city to see her chiropractor.
Steve from Flushing – Aquaduct and then maybe Belmont.
The Bookie – I am going to go to one of my favorite Alphabet City Dive Bars, walk in the men’s room and if it doesn’t smell like it used to I am going to be pissed!
QBall from Tudor City – I am going to Old Town Tavern sit at the bar and bitch to John (the Bartender) about how the Mets completely fucking Suck!
Kate the Dog Sitter – I am going to my favorite restaurant Coppola’s with my grandma!
Constantine – “I am going to walk into Mt. Sinai hospital and I am going to hug every nurse, doctor and employee”
Mr. Clean – I am going to cherish the following 6 words – “Stand Clear Of The Closing Doors!”
DRS (Former Work Momma) – I plan on seeing my mother, and head to the beach.

Thanks to all those who played along. I had fun putting this out.

Second Installment for Tiger Nation Fans visiting New York/Brooklyn 2/2

So are you Tiger Nation fans getting excited yet? I have to say that the city does get a little bit of a special charge during the holidays. The Rockefeller tree will be covered in Scaffolding because they have to get it ready for the official lighting ceremony in early December. Not to worry there are tons of other stuff already up to get pictures taken for those Christmas Cards. G(Squared), I saw that they were putting lights on those chicken feet down in Chinatown. I did see a Miller Light Truck on Canal Street so you should be good to go.

Previously we spoke about some of the tips for you visitors, here are the second half of them. But this list will be fun stuff. So without further adeau;

Underground is the best way to get around the city – They deliver 1.5 million packages in the city of Manhattan a day. Add to that Yellow Taxis, Ubers, Tour Buses and the city gets a tad…..gridlocked. They once timed a car going from 1st Ave Crosstown to 12 Ave and it took almost 52 minutes. That being said using the subway is your best friend. Again use Google Maps. Those maps they have in the subway stations are good but do you know which lines are not running on the weekend? If you use Google Maps and The Pigeon App and you will have a ease free commute. I say get Metro Card and put 20.00 on it and then refill it when necessary.
Subway 101 Hints – Take off your backpack and go to the center of the cab if it is packed. Let the elderly and pregnant women sit down. If you see a subway car that is empty when others are packed it is empty for a reason. Trust me you can’t hold your breath between subway stops so don’t go there. Oh when you are leaving the subway area and see someone standing there sliding his hand like he has a credit card through his other hand do them a solid. Swipe them in the Subway on your card. Pay it forward.
Staying in an Air BnB? – Download the Fresh Direct App and have your beer, wine, bottled water, snacks and drunk munchies food delivered to your door. I say order your stuff the day before you arrive and you can schedule your delivery day and time. You will have to be there when the stuff is delivered but trust me schleping (that is Yiddish for carrying) groceries to your apartment sucks.
Speaking of Apps download the Seamless app. This is 24 hour room service for the area restaurants. It is New York’s version of Uber Eats and it kicks ass. Bagel delivery guys are the best. Make sure you tip them cash. Another App you need is the Pigeon app. It is Waze but for New York Subways and gives you real-time delays and issues.
Cost of Beers and Food – Now brace yourself you Max’s Sports Bar regulars the cost of beer isn’t going to be the same as in 38103. I don’t want to hear it, I have been here for 4 years and have accepted paying north of $5.00 for Bud Light and $8.50 for Titos and soda. Are there cheaper places? Sure there are but here is my suggestion. Sit at the bar, be nice, be respectful and maybe the bartender may give you a “Buy Back” where they give you a drink on the house. Also it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stash a couple C-notes in your wallet. A lot of Brooklyn bars are Cash Only. Those are pretty easy as you just leave your money on the counter and the bartender will take the funds needed for drinks out of your pot. Trust me, they aren’t going to screw you.
Bars and places to eat around The Barclays’ Center – plenty of great places on 5th Avenue to grab some food and drink before and after the game. In the interest of some of those establishments that I frequent on 5th Avenue I am not going to name them here. You are also just steps away from the Subway station and can get into Manhattan fairly quickly.
Sightseeing in the City – Want to see the Bitch in the Harbor? Jump on the Staten Island Ferry (it is free) and you will boat right by it to take a picture. The also sell beer on board (ANG MT just saw that and it peaked his interest) and you get to see that 5th borough that Mr. 3 First Names despises. When you are down in Fidi swing by the Stock Exchange, Bull, Fearless Girl, Hamilton’s grave. Then walk over to the footprints at the 9/11 memorial.
Food Places you have to have – First off there is no good Memphis BBQ here in New York. Don’t try it, you are wasting your time and money. I equate it to trying to find a NYC bagel in Memphis. It ain’t happening. Do your homework and try to eat a couple slices at the Best that NYC has to offer. Want to eat at Katz’s or one of the big named places – be first on line when they open. Swing by the south east corner of Avenue of Americas and W53th for some World Famous Halal Guys. Go easy on the White Sauce and get extra napkins. Again – Get Reservations NOW!
Food Suggestions – People always ask me this and believe it or not I am just as unfamiliar with places as you are. I have heard you can eat Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner at a different place for each meal for a year and not have a repeat. My normal saying is that if it is still in business then they must be doing something right. The margin of error for restaurants is so very tight and if you have a bad showing you are done. I also use Zagats, Yelp and Google Searches for the best places. If you want a Dive Bar list let me know. I have a killer one!
Clothing and Shoes – I get it, you ladies want to look good in your wedges and or heels but who are you kidding. It is going to be cold and possibly will rain. Comfort is your key and make sure that you have good shoes because you will be walking a ton! Regarding the George Costanza Puffy Coat, you can bring it but with going in and out of places, the subway you may want to layer and wear a scarf. If you plan on going to the Parade bring everything but your kitchen sink. Also the winds up here can be a bitch. My wool top coat is great about half of the time but if we are to have snow or a light rain I am breaking out my North Face coat. Bring a hat too!
Shopping – I use Amazon and order eCommerce so you are on your own. I do recommend that you check out Century 21 downtown. They have some good stuff.

Pro Tip – Use the Name or Number don’t call it “Taking the Red Line” #RoboCares

The Pigeon App – As sure as I-240 gets backed up so do the Subways. Get this app and check it before you journey out for the day.

Think of this as Room Service for your hotel/Air BnB. Be Careful though, you can run up a pretty large tab with those drunk munchies!

Fresh Direct App – Trust Me lugging those cases of beer or bottled water sucks. And they can deliver wine and drunk food too! Make sure you order and reserve your day/time because it will get busy before Thanksgiving.

So Good but make sure you get extra napkins because your elbow may get juicy!

They don’t call it the Bible for nothing!

Enjoy your time in New York and Brooklyn, be nice to people, support local, tip your bartenders and stay safe. We leave out on Turkey Day for the weekend but give me a shout if you are in town early.

A trip to the Track

Springtime in Memphis would normally mean one thing for us. Frequent trips to Hot Springs Arkansas to bet on the horses at Oaklawn. We hadn’t been to any of the tracks up here so this past weekend we decided to head into Queens on the A Train for a trip to Aqueduct Race Track.

For those of you who have never played the horses Aqueduct runs from early November to mid April and their big race is the Wood Memorial. Typically those horses that win the Wood will be running in the Kentucky Derby so it attracts some good horses and jockeys. Having never visited Aqueduct but hearing all kinds of opinions we were wide open with our expectations.

For you Memphians who play the horses think Southland Greyhound park but with Long Island accents. We found what I would equate to as the Jockey Club in Hot Springs but with an overpriced buffet and a very expensive beer list. We had a good time and thankfully the racing Gods were good to us and we broke even.

It is nice jumping on the Subway to head to the track.

Having all these be Maiden Races is hard to handicap so I went with Names, Pink Silks and Grey Horses. Beach Access was a winner!

It was a good time and we were able to check this off the list. We will probably be back for the Arkansas Derby.

They have WHAT in Grand Central?

Since I have 13 different subway lines for my bidding to get into Manhattan I find that I use different lines to get into different parts of the city.

Need to get up to see the Boys at the Cigar Inn – Take the Q
Need to get over to the West Village – Take the A, C or E or the dreaded F train
Got to head to the East Side of Manhattan – Take the 4 or 5 to Grand Central.
Got to get to Penn Station (Mrs. Trumpet does this when she goes to Jersey) – Take the 2 or 3

Lately I have found that go into Grand Central Station and if you have been there you know that this sucker is huge. About a couple week back UWS Holly posted that she was getting her boots shined. I knew that there was a shoeshine on the lower level but this location was different than the picture. She told me that it was in one of the passageways. I wasn’t really sure where it was until the work wife (the domestic one) showed me one day. Literally (I am not sure which one of you hate that term but sorry) you can walk from the Train platform all the way to 47th street underground and not be in the elements.

So the other day I found the 45th street passageway and since I had to go see one of my Diamond District customers I headed that way. As I walked by I see a kiosk open and I had to take a double take. Are they really re-stringing Tennis Racquets in there? Yep, you can get your Head (see what I did there KLCMan) strung up with fresh catgut on your way to work. That is cool shit if you ask me! Now I had to google where the tennis court is located so I will try to find that on my next trip to Grand Central.

Hey boys I got an old Wilson T2000 can you re-string it for me?

That’s what I love about this city, there is always some shit that just surprises you.

Katie Mac is going to kill me – The Campbell Apartment Bar & Lounge

Yeah, she is over in Europe right now according to her Snaps but when she reads this she may fly direct back to JFK just to whip my arse. You see when I moved up here Katie Mac was the first to tell me about The Campbell Apartment in Grand Central Station and how cool it was. I visited it once to meet up with a former client of mine from Memphis (think “Thank You Cattlemens”) but she had to bag at the last minute. It took me a while to find the joint. I mean I have lived up here now 2 years and I finally can make my way around Grand Central without difficulty but it is still huge.

So when RJ and JL (not Social Media JL, Ponzi Scheme JL) were in town this past weekend we made a trip with the Asian Fireman to The Campbell Apartment for drinks. I was in work clothes but I recalled that when they were with old management it was slacks and dress shirts. Thankfully the new ownership relaxed the rules just a tad.

Drinks at the Campbell are old school New York; manhattans, classic martinis and upscale bourbons and scotches. Our group chose Red Wine, Manhattans, a Martini and someone had to keep it real and ordered a Bud Light. The service at The Campbell is impeccable and we had a good time and left after having 2 rounds. Thank God we left when we did, to drink in Midtown Manhattan you pay to play.

Katie Mac – Don’t worry when you come up I promise to take you there.

Enter off of the Vanderbilt Pass which is on the West side of Grand Central. To find it inside the terminal is tricky.