Month: February 2019

Mary Louise Needs to Bring Her Ass Home!

The Dog and I are starting to get on each others nerves. Seriously, she has been gone since last Tuesday and we are missing her. The Seamless Delivery dude and I know each other on a first name basis. The good news is that I have watched pretty much every episode of “M*A*S*H*” and “Two and a Half Men” (She hates those shows) but the DVD is getting full of her midget and Dr. Pimple Popper shows.

Mary Louise requested me to get her a hair appointment. I guess it is kinda hard to book stuff when you are 14 hours away.

Oh No PETA offending sushi this time Geranium?

The Dog and I play a rousing game of “Did you just fart?”

And for those of you wondering when @Maya_in_NYC Instagram will be posting again. She gets in Friday afternoon from her flight from Toyko!

“Have you been to the Oyster Bar at Grand Central?”

I would get this question pretty much every time I would talk to my fellow coworker, eye-talian and lover of smoked meats, Guido. I honestly told him that it wasn’t like I was avoiding this joint. It seemed like anytime that I was in Grand Central with some time to kill, waiting for a Metro North train the damned thing would be closed. Back tracking a bit – a couple of weeks ago Mary Louise was returning from a work trip and found herself in Grand Central so she had lunch there. She gave it glowing reviews and said it wasn’t as touristy as one would imagine.

Last Friday Mary Louise was, once again, out of town I found myself in Grand Central around 4:30. I was feeling somewhat peckish so I went looking for food before my long commute home (New Yorkers are you reading this?) So here I was, coming down the ramp, and saw that Oyster Bar was open. I knew that the dog was fine having been taken out by the dog walker so I decided to hang out at Grand Central for the Late Afternoon!

First of all, this place is frigging huge! I had no idea how big it was because it looks very small from the outside. I found a spot at the bar and God Bless Carlos, the server, he was as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I found a home at the “shucking bar” since the majority of the oysters are broken here. I was sitting between a mix of Midtown attorneys finishing up a weeks work and tourists who were pissed that it was taking so slow. I knew I was in the right spot because Carlos ran by me 3 times with various requests/specials and he liked that I was quick with my response.

I started with a half dozen and I told Carlos to pick the best of the bunch. *Disclaimer – I don’t know much about Northeastern oysters so I always trust the experts.* After enjoying the 6 best oysters I have had in a while, I watched one of the chefs make a soup from scratch about a dozen times. I really didn’t need any soup but I always appreciate someone who loves what they do. I asked Carlos what soup I wanted and he suggested the Oyster Pan Roast. This is pretty much a clam based soup with cream and tomatoes. Frigging Tomato Soup with oysters? I am in!

Yo Holmes, what you making? Can I get a Sample?

Guido – You are right, I have been remiss on visiting the Oyster Bar. I am now a fan but still have an issue being only open during weird working hours!

Some Pictures of London

I have been remiss in posting these so here is a bonus Post Presidents Day entry for you 15 readers. We had a blast in London and hopefully we will be doing something like this again in the near future.

Regarding London, it was great seeing PNG Mike and Lady E as well as Lord Jimmy and his parents and seeing Vegas JD was a bonus too.

Had no idea that the Landlord has such a following here in London.

Parliament they seem to have some issues much like we do. To quote Jimmy’s father “Please don’t impeach Trump, if you do then we will be the only assholes with issues!”

I think that I have drank some Gin with picture of that fella on it

Sure you can always get a selfie of Buckingham Palace but can you get a bird to stop in mid flight for a Photo Bomb?

10 Downing Street or Number 10 depending on who says it.

Man I have smoked a bunch of this man’s cigars.

Hey Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliament….and Fucking Cold ass Rain!

Too bad we didn’t get to see Master A as we were told he is over 6 feet tall.

Driving on the other side of the street can confuse you

Oye Ceras, por favor, no te bajes la pierna. Es considerado grosero por los estándares de inglés.

As I have heard that the Angel of Darkness has fallen ill, I am wishing I saw this show while we were there.

It was a great time and we will be back!

A trip to the Track

Springtime in Memphis would normally mean one thing for us. Frequent trips to Hot Springs Arkansas to bet on the horses at Oaklawn. We hadn’t been to any of the tracks up here so this past weekend we decided to head into Queens on the A Train for a trip to Aqueduct Race Track.

For those of you who have never played the horses Aqueduct runs from early November to mid April and their big race is the Wood Memorial. Typically those horses that win the Wood will be running in the Kentucky Derby so it attracts some good horses and jockeys. Having never visited Aqueduct but hearing all kinds of opinions we were wide open with our expectations.

For you Memphians who play the horses think Southland Greyhound park but with Long Island accents. We found what I would equate to as the Jockey Club in Hot Springs but with an overpriced buffet and a very expensive beer list. We had a good time and thankfully the racing Gods were good to us and we broke even.

It is nice jumping on the Subway to head to the track.

Having all these be Maiden Races is hard to handicap so I went with Names, Pink Silks and Grey Horses. Beach Access was a winner!

It was a good time and we were able to check this off the list. We will probably be back for the Arkansas Derby.

Mary Louise has lost her damn mind

The Damn Dog now has her own Instagram Page now. She has asked me to post that you should follow Maya’s page. I am drawing the line on new outfits. Give @Maya_in_NYC a follow on the Instagram if you are so inclined.

6 Nations Rugby & Sunday Funday in Big Smoke

You might as well add another sporting event that I have been exposed to that you can drink like a fish, and cheer for the home team! I recall one summer I was down in San Pedro Belize while World Cup was being played. Mexico was playing that afternoon and the entire town came to a halt to watch the match. As luck would have it while we were in London we were going to be in town for England National playing the Irish team. You could tell that on Saturday it was game day because the pubs were busy.

For those of you who care, the teams that make up 6 Nations are; England, France, Ireland, Italy, Scotland, and Wales. To understand the game it is similar to football but without helmets or pads. Oh and unlike College or Pro the place kicker is actually the person who scores the touchdown (I don’t know the proper name) and they don’t have to rely on someone who has one job. I like it already

Papua New Guinea and Lady E met us up for some pints and we were also lucky enough to have a drink with JD from Las Vegas. We enjoyed some light fare and many pints that afternoon and had a great visit. Oh and it was a bonus as England won handily and they were chanting that they wanted Clemson next.

Sunday we headed over to China Town to see Jimmy’s Mum & Pop and enjoy some good Chinese food with questionable rude servers. After our meal we walked around and checked out some of the museums on a Sunday. Not a bad way to spend the weekend catching up with good friends. I told my boss on Tuesday “I know you will find this odd but we have some friends who live in England.”

PNG Mike took no expense and got us a nice table to watch the match.

Lady E is going to break some hearts. Of course Tio Robo and Uncle Mike will make sure that any suitors will be properly vetted

Pro Tip – Go watch this with people who know the game and it will be more enjoyable.

Hanging With Lord Jimmy and his mum. Pop is taking the picture

Anyone recall Doctor Bob. This is very similar

It was great seeing everyone and thank you for taking time out of your weekend to spend time with us. You are welcome to our joint on this side of the pond anytime.

An Open Letter to The Grizzlies Season Ticket Holders

*Disclaimer – I don’t have a dog in this fight. I don’t live in Memphis anymore. I mean seriously, other than taxes and Association dues on an apartment downtown that is all I got. See below for my letter but here is some background info*

So how about those Memphis Grizzlies eh? You pissed off yet? I mean we traded away a cornerstone player for a bunch of players and a future draft pick. Let me put it to you like this – The Future Draft Pick…. it could be my nephew………who is in the 8th Grade at St. Dominic School for Boys. Let me type that again. My 14 year old nephew could be a possible Grizzlies draft pic in 2014.

Oh did I see that Chandler Parsons is coming back after the all star break? I mean nobody picked him up during the trade deadline so why don’t we at least get some use out of him. Naturally he is too good to play in the D League. He is Chandler Parsons after all. But let’s drop our pants again and him screw the organization because his knees are shot.

Sounds like we should fire some folks in the Front Office right? So how do you get the attention of an owner who doesn’t live in Memphis? You cancel season tickets and hit them where it hurts. Why would you pay for entertainment that sucks and it would appear that Management doesn’t value your contribution. That is what it is folks. It is entertainment and it looks like the College team is going to provide more heart/Grit & Grind (starting with management on down to the players) than the professional team.

Back Story – I was about 5 days away from becoming a Grizzlies Season Ticket Holder back in the summer of 2015. We had decided that we were going to not renew our ‘Live at The Garden’ summer concert series and were going to bite the bullet on season tickets for Grizzlies games. I was planning on getting 2 tickets next to or near my friend Jack in the lower bowl. I had already asked Jack for the number of “his guy” and was going to pull the trigger. Then Mary Louise informed me that a move to New York was a possibility so I stopped the conversation. I look back and that would have been a real dick move on my part. “Hey Man, I want tickets and let’s sign this…Oh wait, cancel the order we are moving to New York.”

Dear Season Ticket Holders who are cancelling this year,

I am completely in agreement with you deciding to pull back your contribution and tickets for the 2019-2020 season tickets for the Memphis Grizzlies. I would ask that you please do something with the funds that you have previously allocated for season tickets for a couple reasons. By my math, and if I am wrong please feel free to reach out to me but here is the way I see it.

2 tickets in the lower bowl (that we would have purchased) minus parking would have cost us 11K. (My New York readers are now pissing themselves) You divide that by the 41 games and it comes to $268.29 for a nights entertainment. Here is what I am asking;

Please spend that 268.29 or something at a downtown establishment or your favorite local establishment for 41 times next season. Do you know how much it costs to run a restaurant? I miss Fino’s going away but I don’t blame the owner one bit. The margins are razor thin and why kill yourself for an eventual failure? Sorry but did anyone of you assholes pick up that baton? Hell No! Running a restaurant is hard work and it can at times, suck. My friend Kelly English said it best – “Support local, we have to feed our own and we need the help.”
It isn’t the fault of the downtown establishments that are counting on FedEx Forum attendance to take a hit because Chris Wallace should be fired. Go back downtown the day before or after a game. Those kids behind the bar and bringing your food need your money.
Take the time that you spent watching Grizzles games doing some sort of community service. I have had the pleasure of working a food line of a church outreach in Alphabet City. I greet every person I encounter with a smile and a nice comment. You need to do something other than cutting a check to the local charity. It will make you a better person.
Find out what charity each player supports and donate to it. It isn’t their fault that the (soon to be former) management sucks and they want to give back.
Cherish the Old Cornerstones – Recall when Z-Bo would pay a complete stangers MLGW bill? Or when Tony Allen would pay for someones trip to Target? Be that person to a complete Stranger. And of course when you do it mumble “Grit Grind!”

There are people who not associated with the Grizzlies that are going to be affected by the bonehead moves of the Front Office. Guys and Gals, we have to support them and their families. Marc is going to be fine as well as our future 8th grade draft pick. The owners of local establishments downtown and in midtown are going to hurt unless we help them.

Ok, I am off my soapbox now! But do right by the folks who are depending on your money and support.

A Trip Harrods – The Mecca of Mall Food

Sunday afternoon after hanging with Jimmy’s Mum & Pop we decided we wanted to make a run over to the local Mall of ~~Memphis~~ London. You know I am talking about….Recall back in the day when the only way you could get a Chick-Fil-A Chicken Sandwich was a visit to the Mall? I mean where else could you get your Hot Topic and Spencer’s crap and then enjoy some chocolate chip cookie? And if you wanted to go ice skating this place was it.

London’s version of the Mall of Memphis is a place called Harrods in the East end of London. We took the Tube over to Knightsbridge and took a visit to the food hall. If you don’t know what Harrods is all about you can read up about it here. You have seen all those signs that read “If we don’t have it, you don’t need it.” Harrods is just that store. Upon entering the hall, you realize that this place doesn’t mess around.

I am going to leave it now up to the pictures but if I ever won the lottery, I would be heading there for meals at every one of their 24 restaurants. That beats the shit out of the Mall of Memphis doesn’t it?

Sam, I bet your buddy gets this doesn’t he

Now show me a Mall food court that can beat this one? I dare you!

The Stereotypes of London

We have all heard or even mentioned them; cold & rainy weather, shitty food, warm beer, bad teeth, no ice for drinks, I could go on for days. Honestly, to visit London/The Big Smoke in late January/early February you should expect the above mentioned weather. The weather last weekend did have temps in the mid 30’s with Rain/snow on Friday however, on Saturday we actually donned sunglasses with temps in the low 40’s and Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday. To get snow in London is like getting snow in Memphis….the city shuts down. Papua New Guinea Mike told me to be ready for delays but thankfully the Tube was running fine on Friday morning from Heathrow.

Regarding the food sucking, that is a down right lie. We ate some great food while in Big Smoke. Friday night Geranium and I had dinner near the hotel and found a great Brittish/Gastropub that was unbelievable. Saturday while watching 6 Nations (I will get to that later) we dined on traditional Fish & Chips and had a wonderful drunken food Saturday night meal. Sunday we ate in China Town with Jimmy’s Mum and Pop and that evening we found a great restaurant in Covent Garden.

Regarding the last of the stereotypes; making fun of the English for having faults is like Americans acting like our Commander in Chief is a normal fine upright citizen. Yep, we definitely didn’t leave London hungry or without enough to drink.

Traditional English Breakfast – Baked Beans, Tomatoes, Mushrooms, Sausage, Eggs sadly no Black Pudding today.

Braised Ox Cheek and Hasselback Potatoes – This was good

Ahem DR – Look they have their coat hooks eye level and they are just fine where they are. It is time pull the trigger and get hooks at Lisa’s bar!

Shepard Pie (yes I know its boring) but this dish was featured on one of the Andrew Zimmerman food shows and it was devine

Skirt Steak and Caramelized Onion for Mary Louise (we had Mac and Cheese and other food)

Look at all that ice in my “Soda Water” and notice where that Lime is. NFL My Friend!

Thank God we brought our shades. Background is the Queens Pad.

I will put out a couple more posts to annoy some of you!

Happy Chinese New Years and a couple Milestones for us too!

Note to self, when you think that you can make a quick trip across the pond to England for a long weekend at my age it is going to hurt. If you didn’t know; I headed out last Thursday night to hang out with Mary Louise for the weekend in London. She was finishing up a whirlwind trip of her own and had a meeting yesterday with her people. I got home last night and naturally (it is 3AM Eastern Time as I type this) the jet lag is strong when you get older. Enough about me, lets get to the title of this worthless dribble.

Happy Chinese New Year as this is the year of the Pig. We were in the Chinese section of London on Sunday having lunch with friends and they were all decked out for the big party. I keep saying I am going to go down to Chinatown and see the festivities. Maybe if they are doing it this weekend I will head over there.

So Happy 3 and a half year anniversary to us for ripping off the band-aid and moving to New York. It really has flown by and even though her ass will be getting on a plane in about 2 hours Geranium would agree with me. Again, I am not dogging Memphis, but we really like living up here. We have slowed down a tad on our exploring the city we still find it great and are enjoying ourselves. I mean could I really have flown to London for a long weekend Thursday night after working and will be back to selling tickets in Times Square today? Got to love direct flights.

Another anniversary that I am particularly proud of is that 12 years ago Mary Louise and I went Tobacco Free. We decided to quit the Tuesday after the Super Bowl and we did it together. Copenhagen and Virginia Slims Menthol started losing money on us 12 years ago and even though we both gained enough weight to support another child it was the best decision that we could make. So to all of you who are battling your demons keep up the fight. People ask me if I miss dipping. Who are you fucking kidding? Sure I miss it but I don’t miss having my gums scraped or the chance that I could get mouth or gum cancer.

I will post more about the trip to London, I have a ton of pictures that I took sober(ish) and will recap later this week. Happy Chinese New Year, Happy “half” Anniversary of being New Yorkers and Tobacco Free to us!